Habits and Hustle - Episode 283: Yung Pueblo: The Secret Skill That Will Transform Your Life and Heal You

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

In this episode of Habits and Hustle, I chat with Yung Pueblo, a meditator and poet, about his transformational journey from chaos to wellness, the power of authenticity, and the concept of compassionate investing. We dive into his evolution from an unknown writer to a New York Times bestselling author and the role that meditation and Vipassana, an ancient Buddhist practice, played in reshaping his life and relationships. He shares the amplified need for authenticity in our digital age, how his writings have resonated with millions, and his association with Substack, a platform bridging the gap between content creators and their audience. Diego Perez is a #1 New York Times bestselling author who is widely known on social media through his pen name, Yung Pueblo. Online he has an audience of over 3 million people, and has sold over a million books worldwide which has also been translated into over 25 languages. His writing focuses on the power of self-healing, creating healthy relationships, and the wisdom that comes when we truly work on knowing ourselves. Check out his fourth book, The Way Forward.  What we discuss: (0:04:27) - From Aspiring Writer to #1 New York Times Bestselling Author (0:05:45) - Diego's Transformational Journey from Chaos to Wellness (0:09:52) - The Profound Impact of Meditation on Diego (0:14:00) - The Meditation Method That Altered Diego's Life (0:19:58) - Meditation’s Astonishing Benefits (0:23:46) - Diego's Remarkable Life Transformation After the 10-Day Meditation Course (0:27:03) - How to Begin Your Meditation Journey (0:31:08) - The Remarkable Outcomes of a Consistent Meditation Practice (0:35:46) - How Meditation Nurtured Diego's Connections and Relationships (0:38:00) - Diego's Inspirational Journey to Find His Unique Voice (0:46:10) - Embracing Authenticity and the Power of Words (0:49:04) - Leveraging the Impact of Instagram for Sharing and Connection (0:54:08) - The Profound Effects of Solitude and Its Relevance (0:56:00) - The Positive Influence of Meditation on Diego's Energy (1:00:40) - Reviewing Substack: A Platform for Writers and Creators (1:09:08) - The Why Behind Diego's Entrepreneurial Journey with Wisdom Ventures (1:09:08) - A Day in the Life of Diego: Balancing Passion, Work, and Well-Being (1:15:02) - Diego’s 2-Hour Meditation Ritual Thank you to our sponsor: Ketone IQ (HVMN): You can save 30% off your first subscription order of Ketone-IQ at HVMN.com/JEN Go to shopify.com/hustle to take your business to the next level Go to HelloFresh.com/50hustle and use code 50hustle for 50% off plus free shipping! Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code HUSTLE and depending on the model, you’ll receive UP TO 39% off or UP TO $300 off! Find more from Jen:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Learn more from Yung Pueblo: Substack: https://yungpueblo.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yung_pueblo/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got his Tony Robbins you're listening to habits in hustle, crush it. I'm excited about this podcast because this guy is just so popular, but because he's so popular because he has such wisdom in only 35 years of living, it's pretty amazing. So it's Diego Perez, otherwise known as I'm sorry if I pronounced it incorrectly, but young Pueblo. Perfect. I said it well, right? Perfect, yes.

Good. And I'm going to quickly read this bio. It's a quick one. So it's Diego Perez is a meditator at a number one New York Times bestselling author, who is widely known on social media through his pen name, Young Pueblo. Online is an audience of over three million people. You've sold over a million books worldwide already? Yeah.

Damn. And it's also been translated into over 25 languages. His writing focuses on the power of self-healing, of creating healthy relationships and the wisdom that comes when we truly work on knowing ourselves. And now, his fourth book, the four word is coming out. So congratulations, by the way. Thank you so much. No, thank you for being here. I was saying to you outside, like, people have been like telling me to get you on this podcast. That's so nice. You know, it's true.

You're like very popular. Like people love you. Yeah, you know, it's fun because it only, it only I can only feel how big things have gotten when I leave the woods. Because my wife and I live in the middle of nowhere, so life could not be more mundane and normal. Really? Yeah, we live in this tiny little town, 2,000 people, acres between neighbors and life. Was that intentional? Oh, yeah.

We used to live in New York City for about seven years, and we've been up in the woods for about three years now. So why did you move to the woods? I think it felt like where I was in terms of young play below and writing and interfacing with publishers and all of that. It felt like we made the connections that we needed. And because New York City is a type of place where being there can help you, depending on so many different parts of your career, like where you're at, or what you're trying to do. And I was able to meet a lot of people that opened a lot of doors for me

and just, you know, serve me in such profound ways. And then I felt like we were both just missing nature. Like we were tired of the cement. You know, just concrete, concrete. And, but being out in the woods, having a garden, like seeing the deer every day, like just being around, these baby foxes will come and like, they'll, like their babies will be born under

our porch, like for a month, though every summer we get to see them grow for like a few weeks before they move on. Like these are the type of things that you can't really get in the city. Absolutely not. So, so what did you say when you like leave? What happens? Do, do, do people come up to you? Do they recognize you? Do they know who you are? Very, very rarely, very, very, because like I don't, I don't promote my face that much. It's only when I go on podcast tours that some of them are filmed, then I'll share a clip every now and then, or if I get to be on TV or something,

I'll share a clip, but other than that, all you see is black and white. That's what I'm writing. You're so wise though. I gotta say, so you have a background in writing and journalism, nothing. Nothing, zero. Yeah, I honestly never thought I'd be a writer,

never thought that my life would go in this direction. It honestly just all comes from decreasing the density and heaviness of the mind through meditating. It wasn't until like my third meditation course when I was like, oh, I should write. And then I started picking up the skull from there. So before that, you were not doing any of this. Like in high school, you weren't writing nothing.

Never, never. It was never my strength. I got like, you know, bees and English class and all that. I like to read, but not like more than, you know, the biggest readers or anything. Nothing like unique like that. The only thing is just, I think all the hours of meditation that I've done have kind of shifted my mind in a way where the creativity just opens up.

It's amazing, it really is amazing because like, okay, where's the book I have, oh, Sierra, I have it, okay. So, it's like a poetry, basically. Like, I think when I was reading your bio, what it should have said is a meditator and a poet, because that's how I see you. I see you as like a poet more than anything.

And these books, I feel like this book reminds me of like just like nice little poem, like poetry, you know, entries of some kind. Yeah, totally. I think this this book, especially the design. So I've released this is going to be my fourth book. The first two were in that similar design, where it was poetry and prose sort of a combination of these short little poems or quotes and then also having these tiny little essays that are bite size. And I liked that format because I grew up in a city and I grew up in Boston and I took the train, right? My whole like what took the train to middle school to high school.

And when I first started writing inward my first book, I would imagine people on the train to work. And I'm like, what could they, you know, the few pages that they could read on their 30-minute commute? Like, could they get something that they can then reflect on for the rest of the day? So I, it was pretty intentional to design a book like that. But my third book, a lighter, that one's a full sort of nonfiction where I go super deep into personal transformation and how that affects the world. So all of the books though have become like instant best sellers. Like, did you even expect that to happen?

Like, no, I mean, it's, it's, you know, it's like something I can't, I can't really control. It's like a phenomenon that goes off on its own. And I think with inward and clarity and connection, they grew a little more slowly. But with lighter, it just like, you know, debuted at the top. And it was kind of shocking to see because especially with the New York Times, right? You don't know what's going to happen. Right. You don't exactly have their own secret formula. Maybe you fit it. Maybe you don't. So I really wasn't expecting anything. So when I saw the number one, I was like, whoa, really put pretty blown away.

It's amazing. So let's talk about your origin story because you're not a writer. You said you weren't. And your background is interesting for what you're doing now, right? So I know you've spoken about this before about, you know, you kind of meditation changed your entire life. Totally. Right.

So I want to talk about how you got into, like, who, what was your, what's your origin? So like I said, how you even found meditation and then we'll kind of go from there if that's okay. Sure. Yeah. So my story starts with emigrating to the United States. So I was originally born in Ecuador in South America in the city called Waikil.

And my mother and father, they noticed that they, they needed to change. They needed a place with more opportunity. So they decided to roll the dice and they were like, okay, let's try to see what happens in the United States. And I grew up in Boston, but once we got there, it was extremely difficult. Like we grew up in really serious poverty. My parents were constantly trying to figure out how to pay the rent.

There wasn't always that much food in the fridge. Like I remember times having my dinner and being like, I'm a growing boy, I'm like, I need to eat more. Watching my parents fight, it was really confusing to me. I grew up thinking that they didn't love each other, that they were sort of mismatched. But I was wrong. Actually, the problem was structural. Like, they didn't have anyone else to share their stress with. So they would share with each other. And then my brother and I would watch. We were like, Oh, you know, my parents are fighting. But now that I've grown up, my brothers grown up, my little sisters grown up and were able to help each other and the family, my parents don't have that stress anymore. And there's

so much more harmony in their relationship because they were just fighting about, how do we pay the rent? How do we get this done? And it has survived, basically. Literally. And my mom, she worked cleaning houses, my dad worked at a supermarket. So we were stuck in a very classic American poverty trap.

And that induced a lot of sort of silent sadness and anxiety inside of me that I kind of was oblivious to. And when I went to college, because it was never quite processed and I was pulled so far outside of my initial comfort zone by being like, you know, in a diverse city with people that I had grown up with, that feeling of sadness and anxiety just would come up so strongly. And what I turned to was just drugs, You know, drugs, alcohol, smoking marijuana, constantly, and just treating my body in a way where I was constantly pushing it to the edge.

And that took me to the point where, you know, I almost lost my life. It was like the summer of 2011. Did way too many drugs one night and just felt like my heart was gonna explode. And I spent the like two hours on the floor just feeling like I'm like at the edge of life. And in that moment, I realized I'm like, I do not want to go out like this.

Like I feel horrible. I feel like I've been lying to myself for so many years and I need to just figure out a new way to move forward. And that's when I started, you know, I threw away the hard drugs and what were you taking? What were you doing? A lot of it was like a lot of cocaine and different pills and a lot of alcohol a lot of marijuana whatever I could get my hands on. Well you like were you an addict or were you just like a partier for and then there there is a distinction. Yeah. And what I mean by that is you know in college a lot of people I know I never was into that. However tons of my friends or people I knew were like hardcore partiers, but after,

but they grew out of it. They didn't go to rehab or anything like that. And I think I was in that first category where I party to hard, I would party like four times a week. And we would definitely push it to the limit like a lot. But when I wanted to stop, I was able to stop. Yeah. And I'd never been to rehab or anything.

And I don't really consider myself a recovering addict. It felt like that was a time period in my life. And I was fortunate enough to be able to close a door on it successfully. But something within that moment or that time period, it was within that moment when you were just almost died, you said that you found meditation or that you were on a path of wellness or- It was a year later when I found meditation,

but the first thing I did was I was like, I did some self-examination, I was like, how did I get here? And what I realized was that I got there by constantly lying to myself. Like I just never wanted to admit that I didn't feel good. And what I would end up doing was that when these emotions would come up, I would just try to find the quickest medium to numb them.

And usually that was rolling up a joint. You know, just roll up a joint, smoke, and hopefully the anxiety or sadness or whatever it is would go away. So I realized if lying to myself and not accepting myself got me to this point where I almost lost my life, then telling myself the truth can help me get out of here. So I would, you know, practice when I would be at home, just I'm like, okay, I feel that emotion, I feel that tension again, let me just sit with it.

And this was before meditating, I would just be like, okay, let me just sit with it and I would challenge myself to sit with it for like five, 10, 15 minutes. And then I started realizing I'm like, what I thought was so scary is actually not that overwhelming. It's actually doable. Like I can feel this sadness and it's okay. Like I'm okay. And I train myself like that for a while. I started changing my eating habits. I started like taking barley grass and this was you know barley grass barley grass is a type of super food. I should know this. I've never heard. So but it's a it's an old school one that used to be really popular before wellness was popular. So we're talking the summer of 2011.

Are you talking about bar leans? Is that what you're talking about? No barley grass B-A-R-L-E-Y Not wheat grass. Not wheat grass. The cousin of wheat grass. The cousin. Okay, so what color is it? It's also green, but like not a less vibrant green. And you would drink it? Or you? I would put it in my orange juice, which wasn't a great combination because the orange juice was just full of sugar, but I didn't know any better, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know any better, right?

And I would check it and I was like, oh, I actually feel better. Like, because I wasn't getting enough nutrients, right? That's right. And so the combo of like accepting whatever emotion was arising, trying to take in more nutrients into my body, going for long walks, trying to be more intentional about my relationship with my now wife and my parents and my friends, all of that was like a whole year of practice where I was trying to just reformat my life. And after that, almost exactly a year later, I did my first silent 10 day meditation course.

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and use promo code hustle. That's air, Dr. Pro, a-i-r-d-o-c-t-o-r-p-r-o.com, promo code hustle. So you were kind of like, you were priming yourself, so to speak, for this meditation, but it kind of feels like you were kind of doing your own form with a sitting in this, in like, sitting for five minutes, sitting for ten minutes, which has been a long time. Yeah, it's been a long time. I can't imagine during 30 days, but that's a whole other thing. But like, so you are ready, like, what made you even,

so that moment, that aha moment, I mean, not to say six. So was that, okay, I'm not in a good place. Let me see how I can get better and get well. And you were kind of just doing a lot of these little modalities intuitively. Yeah, yeah, I think intuitively, because I was trying to examine, like I said, like, what was going wrong?

Let me do the opposite of what was going wrong. And that's why I was like, tell myself the truth, start exercising, start walking, like start just, you know, don't just- Well, as a truth though. The truth was that I was sad,

that like, you know, I didn't want to face that. That was a problem before was like, I didn't want to admit that something was wrong. And I didn't want to face that. That was a problem before was like, I didn't want to admit that something was wrong. And I didn't want to admit that there was a ton of anxiety inside of me and that sometimes it would just flare up. And I think in accepting it, it was able to just be able to be with it without it completely taking over.

And I was, you know, I was just afraid to accept it. What was the anxiety? Did you figure out, I'm sure you have by this point, but where the anxiety was coming from? Have you? Have did you? Okay, where was I think it was a scarcity mindset? I think from, from when I was really little seeing scarcity constantly in my life, just made me feel very insecure. And I think that imprint was repeated over and over and over, that reaction of like, there's not enough. There's not enough. What do I do? You know, how can I get through? And I think that imprint was repeated over and over and over, that reaction of like, there's not enough, there's not enough. What do I do? You know, how can I get through?

And I think also like a feeling of having my back against the wall and like, no one's really going to help me. I think just produce a lot of that's just the way my mind would react with the situation was through anxiety and sadness. And now, you know, I definitely feel anxiety and sadness from time to time. But with all the meditating, it's just not as intense as it used to be. Because it sounds to me like from everything of her, like seeing a view and what you write about and what you tell when everything you've spoken about is that literally like meditation has changed, like changed your life. Totally. At the core, at the core. And I think, you know, I practice in a very particular tradition. It's the SN Goenka tradition. It's called Vapassana comes from Burma. And it's a very sort of old style of meditating that's quite rigorous, you know, difficult. A lot of people when they hear about it,

going to these silent, 10 day meditation course, it may not be for them, but for the people that it is for, it works wonders. And I was lucky to find a tool that just like fits my conditioning, fits where I'm at, and it's just providing me incredible results. Is it the first type of meditation you tried? Yeah. Are you serious? So you haven't even tried, I'll, you have a chance. No.

What's the called, yeah. Transadant, yeah. Yeah, no, but I've found this one style of meditating, and it gave me so much, like it provided such big results and changed the way my mind would react and just decreased that reaction and also gave me so much learning. Like I was learning so much from it that like every time I go away to meditate I get so much. I'm like, you know, I'm so busy here.

Why would I go anywhere else? Yeah. What is it based out of like what's the big? Well, how is that different? How was the bait? Well, how is that different? How was the Pasadam? How is what are the fundamental traits of that or the core traits of that? Yeah, so the core trait of that is that it's a path out of suffering and it's a it originates from the Buddhist teaching, right? So that's something that's like 2,600 years old, right? And when you go to these silent tender retreats, the whole time you're working with reality as it is. So you're not trying to change reality, you're not trying to do

anything to it. You're not running away from everything, but you're just being with whatever arises in that moment. And so for the first three days of the of the tenday course, you learn this technique called anapana that helps you focus on the natural breath. So you're not doing anything else though, you're just being aware of the natural breath that helps you focus on the natural breath. You're not doing anything else though, you're just being aware of the natural breath that helps calm and concentrate the mind. Okay. And then the last seven days you learn the practice of a persona, which helps you feel the truth in the body where you're literally feeling the sensations in the body and that'll open you to the wisdom of impermanence, the truth of change. And that truth of change is where a lot of our suffering

resides because we do our, like, our dandists to just battle against change. Yeah. Yeah. So this form of meditation, you says 10 days, that is that silent? Yeah. So you went from not doing any meditation,

but, okay, I'm going pick this 10-day silent retreat and give it a go. And so you're not talking at all to anybody. You're not talking at all. You can ask the teacher questions. You're in a room alone. You're in a room with like 80 other people. And you're not talking to each other.

You're not talking to each other. You're not making eye contact. You're just, you're in an environment almost similar to what monks would do when they are going on retreats. But we're all, you know, the vast contact, you're just you're in an environment almost similar to what monks would do when they are going on retreats Yeah, but we're all you know the vast majority of people their householders just like us, you know They have jobs they have responsibilities and whatnot But they take this time away because it's a valuable investment like you know for me

It helps me so much with writing and whatever business I'm doing But whether you're like a doctor or a lawyer, like so many people from different walks of life, different artists, musicians, they all go because not only do they come out and learn how to live better in their own minds because they're reacting less, but all the aspects of their work get smoother because when your mind is clear,

or calmer, more peaceful, it just functions at a better level. So wait, so how many years ago did you do this? 2011, you said? Yeah, 2011, and I've been doing courses ever since. I'll go away a few times a year, and I've been, I've meditated a lot. Yeah, I'm like an imagined.

Yeah, I would. 10 days at a time. 10 days, I've done 20 day courses, 30 day courses, 45 day courses, all sides. We've seen courses though, you mean that you're silent. Like continuity, right? You're in a meditation center and the course is, you know, will be 45 day long, 45 days long and you're there the whole time.

Walk me through what it would be like. Okay, so you basically get there. Where's your phone? Oh, that's one of my favorite parts about it. You give them whatever device that you come with, right? If you have your laptop, your phone or something, you give it to them and they lock it away and you get it at the end of the course.

So you can't eat like if your wife has something to tell you you know nothing. Nothing, nothing. It's literally only if like you can give your emergency, the emergency contact to somebody in your family. So like something really serious happens. Right. And we're talking like serious, like your child is ill or a family member is ill, then they'll

call you, you know, pull your other course. But if it's something like, oh, your job needs you to do X, Y, Z, no, that's not getting through. Right. It's only like a severe death kind of emergency. Exactly. If something's like really, especially with the family unit, is happening, then, yeah, you'll, you know, they'll let you know what's happening or they need to pull you out of the course, sure. But when I go there, I'm so happy to just give them my phone. I'm

like, take it away. Oh my gosh. I don't even want to see that thing. And I so joyfully just give it to them. And I'm like, okay, now it's just me. And let me observe. And then okay, so you keep on saying, course. So then what did it give you a room? Are you in a room with 80 people? Are you in your private room? Yeah, you have your own room. You have you pay for this now. It's free. It's free Yeah, it's free. I know it's one of the few sort of meditation centers like this where You it's all done by donation and not even a suggested donation like oh, you should yeah pay X amount now It's like whatever, you know,

if you want to donate at the end of the course, you know, after you have completed one, then you can donate however much you want. And through those donations, we built up these, you know, great centers in Canada and the United States. There's centers all over the world that teach the same technique. Okay. So what is the technique? What happened? You're going to have to go to the 10 day course. I know. so what is the technique? What happens? You're gonna have to go to the 10 day course. I know, I'm gonna say maybe. So this is the thing is like you can't,

it's really just about observing, observing what's happening in the framework of the body, and you're observing, and that'll connect you to the truth of impermanence, to the truth of suffering, and to do that, it takes 10 days to learn the full technique. It's like a 10 day guided meditation. So, someone teaching you, someone's teaching you,

you're getting instructions constantly in no book, because you're already good at reading and writing and thinking, but are you good at feeling? And that's what they're teaching you there. They're teaching you to enhance your ability to feel, particularly your ability to be aware, your ability to be non-reactive, and your ability to be compassionate and loving towards all beings and yourself.

So the first time you did this was that, like, were you totally... Oh, it was terrible. Terrible. Yeah, like, I mean, what happened? Were you freaking out? It was, you know, I actually feel really fortunate that I took this course right before Luba was available. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, at the time. So, you know, from the ride chair, got a ride up with this guy, and he gave a ride to me and like two other people, and I kept looking at this guy,

and I'm like, is he gonna leave? Cause he's gonna leave. I'm getting out of here. And he looked to you, stained plate. He wasn't going anywhere, and I was like, crap, there's no way out. And- You couldn't just walk out?

Well, there was nowhere to go. I was in the middle of nowhere. So there was no bus or train or taxi. Could you ask the guy, basically, the teacher, hey, I want to get the hell out of here? Oh, you can totally leave. Yeah, you're not like a prisoner or anything. But I would, I wouldn't do that.

You wouldn't do that if the other guy wasn't doing that. Yeah, because I mean, to me, back then, also I had no money then, so I was like, I had to get her, I had to hitch a ride. Yeah, yeah. That is hilarious. But I'm really grateful that the situation worked out that way, because it was so, like, it was hard, but when I left, when I finished the course, I noticed that something was different

with my mind. I was like, my mind feels lighter. It feels like it lost like 10 pounds. Even though, you know, I still had the struggles in my mind, but I was like, something has shifted here. And I didn't fully understand the technique. I didn't fully like get why it worked. But then I was like, I need to go back. I need to go whatever it did. I need to get more of that because there's a lot more to undo here.

So how do they teach, so it's kind of like, you know, when you learn to swim sometimes, they say, just throw the baby or the kid in the water, they'll figure it out. Oh, those videos scare me. It scares me too. Totally scares me too. But isn't the same kind of thing like they've thrown you into a room? Do they give you an outline of what you should be doing or there's a zero?

Yeah, there's no confusion there. It's like you are constantly guided throughout the meditation. You're given instructions every few hours. They're like, you know, practice this. You do it for a few hours. Practice what? Give me an example. You got to go.

You got to go. Are you not allowed to tell people? I think it devalues to go into hyper detail about the meditation. It devalues it because you have to do it all in the context of how they're teaching you. And that's why when I break it down to you and I'm like, you know, three days of being aware of the breath, there's a lot more details to that. You know, seven days of being

aware of the body, much more details to that. But I think it's worth checking out, especially if it's peaks your interest and you're listening, yeah, you know, you go to doma.org, dhamma.org, and see if it's something for you. It may or may not be, but if it is, it's like you hit gold. Wow. And so, after the first 10 days, what did it do for you beyond? Like, what is it? You felt later in your head. What was, like, how did you kind of start to transform your life or start writing?

Well, the first thing I noticed, right? So, that summer, my wife and I, we had taken a break and it was a moment in our relationship. We had already been together for six years and it was a moment in our relationship where it was like make or break. Like, are we gonna do this for the long haul or are we gonna part ways?

When I finished that course, I was like, I need to ask her to marry me. Like, she is the one. And it was so clear to me that I've been undervaluing our relationship, that I need to treat her way better, and that I just need to fully commit. And it was after I got back home from Portland, I think like two weeks later, I asked her to marry me.

And then we got married. You know, we were engaged for three years and then got married after that. But it provided a lot of clarity for questions that were just swimming in my mind for so long. Is your wife into the same stuff that you're into? Oh, yeah. She's a super good meditator. Really? Yeah. Yeah. She did, of course. I think like she was working as a scientist at the time, so her time wasn't as flexible as mine. And she did one like nine months later, but she said a ton of courses too. Really?

So what was, at this point, like what was your degree in college? What did you? Economics. Economics. Okay. Yeah, plan number one was to be an investment banker. Really? Yeah.

I'm so glad I didn't work out. Right? Yeah. But, I mean, like, but, but, and we'll get to the fun later. But so you got, so basically then, what was, so after you got this meditation down, you asked your what your now wife to marry you, what other life changes you do?

Like, what was your job back then? What were you doing? I was working in the nonprofit world as a consultant. We were, I was working for this, it was called the Design Studio for Social Intervention, and we were basically to help other nonprofits with whatever it was that they were working on. And it was a great job.

I was learning a lot, but then I knew, like, as I kept meditating, you know, like I mentioned the third course before, at the end of that third 10 day course, I felt, like, right before it was over, I could feel I was like, this thing's working. Like nobody ever in my life told me that you can heal yourself, nobody. And we're talking pre the wellness era. Yeah, yeah. So,

now everything's the wellness now. Right, so now people know there's, there are plenty of examples like you can heal yourself, you can transform yourself, and so many different ways that you can do it. But for me at that time, I grew up in a way where if you were sick physically, if you were sick mentally, you're just going to have to deal with that and live with that the rest of your life.

And when I was, I kept meditating and I started seeing that my mind is transforming and that I actually genuinely feel better. It shocked me. And in that moment, I felt right, like right, even though you are not fully healed, you're not fully wise, like you're just starting I felt, right, like, right, even though you are not fully healed, you're not fully wise, like, you're just starting to learn, right? Like, let people know that healing is possible, because I think it shocked me so deeply back then. So I started just exploring the different things that I was learning, and it took like

a year of me hearing my intuition, bring that up over and over again for me to just start taking it seriously and start writing. So then did you start meditating how long of every day? You came from a 10 day retreat, right? So what was it like? So for two years, I took a few 10 day courses and it was after that sort of two year period where I was able to start meditating every day and that was a really big game changer.

Oh, you weren't meditating every day, even after the course. Even after the course is, yeah, because it just, it felt like a very big, like I just couldn't do it. My mind wasn't, wasn't ready for it. So I would sample the courses, I would keep going. I was getting results from the courses, but I knew I was like, if I meditate every day,

this will like bring it up a notch. And when I did, and now I've, I've been meditating every day, and now we're in the morning, hour and the evening for, I think, like, nine years or eight years. I don't really keep counting, but it's been since March 2015. Two hours a day. Yeah. So how do you sit? Where do you sit? How do you do it?

Oh, wherever I am, wherever I am. I sit this morning. I like woke up. My alarm went off, and some of my wife, you know, needed more sleep. So I'm like, I just up, my alarm went off, and some of my wife needed more sleep, so I'm like, I just sat up on the bed and just started meditating, and set my timer for an hour, and it went off. And wait, so how do you not just fall asleep? Oh, do you just stay, I mean, I was, I wasn't laying down, I was sitting up, so.

Still, I mean, I'm asking you for a friend, no. I'm not asking you for a friend. No, I'm asking you because I've tried so many times to do this, so many times. And like, I can't even do six seconds. I'm not joking. My mind wanders here. I think about, I could be doing this or I forgot about this. I have to email. I got to do that.

Like to quiet my mind for a 10 seconds is hard. Yeah. And I think that's fantastic. You get to see how wild your mind really is. And that's how everyone starts. And honestly, like I still have moments like that too, but you keep trying. That's a secret to meditating as you keep trying. You have to think of it as a mental gym.

You're literally going to a mental gym. There are qualities in your mind that are there, but they're not strong yet. So how do you make them stronger? You practice them. You practice them over and over and over again. So yeah, when you start meditating, people say, you know, I can't meditate, I'm so bad at it.

Of course you're bad at it. Of course, right? Whose mind can focus in one spot or do something when it wants to just be distracted over and over again. So what do you do? You're not just going to run a marathon from zero. You got to train.

And it's the same thing with meditating. You got to build these mental qualities over time. And it's the combination of that strong determination. And you just being okay with repeatedly trying again, trying again. And then you'll notice a big difference arises. Really? So like, what do you think about for an hour in the morning and like, what goes through your head or nothing goes through your head?

A bunch of crap, yeah, like just like whatever, you know, like different thoughts will pop up, like I got to email this person, got to do that, but I'm always- You do, you think of that too? Yeah, but then I'll bring myself back to the meditation object, which is, you know, just being aware of my sensations on the body. Yeah. I'm fast-saved by the amount of time, but I'm also with this podcast. I hear almost 90% of the best experts, and I've had everyone on this, a lot of people on this podcast,

and they say most people use meditation as one of the most primary practices for stress, for success, for all these things. And these are people who are like very alpha too. I mean, like how do you even, I know you're gonna say just start in practice, but are there different forms of meditation? Like if I'm a runner, can I meditate while I'm running, gonna get myself in that same flow state?

I, people would say very different things. I would say I'm running? Going to get myself in that same flow state. Hi, people would say very different things. I would say running is running. Right. And running provides incredible benefits, but there's something very different when you are sitting down, trying your best to keep the body still, which will ultimately support the mind and being more focused. So they're quite different things.

And being able to sit down and meditate, I think will provide you a very particular set of outcomes then, you know, running in itself. What would they be? Well it depends on the meditation style, right? There's a ton of different meditation styles. So and different meditation styles will have different goals, different things that they're trying to teach you. Like you know, something like TM and Vipassana, they're quite different, you know, having a mantra versus being, being aware of reality as it is.

They're... What explain that in, like, in being aware of reality the way it is? Is it, like, neutral thinking in a way? Right, it's objective observation. Right. So normally when we're interacting with reality, where our perception is constantly imposing, constantly projecting, you remind me of this. Because you remind me of that, that's how I felt about that old thing, so I'm going

to feel like that about you. It's just constantly just throwing stuff on the wall. In the Pasinah, you're trying to just really train the mind to just observe without any type of projection to observe in a balanced way and to see what's genuinely there. And I think that's a very different quality than just throwing stuff around. I had no idea a pillowcase could actually get me a better night's sleep until I started sleeping on Blissie's award-winning 100% Mulberry Silk pillowcases. I mean, silk is honestly the best way to sleep and blissy silk pillowcases are temperature regulating and have naturally insulated properties. So if you sweat and

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Neutral Thinking. And what it is, it's basically not overly positive, you know, those positive poly people, or not the negative, not the negative, but place in the, there's a third mindset, which is this idea of neutral thinking. And it sounds very similar to what you said, which is this objective place where, you know, you very similar to what you said, which is this objective place where,

you know, you accept things for how it is, what it is. It's like, I feel like that's maybe meditation, the one, the kind of meditation you're doing is, maybe there's all these different euphemisms, so to speak, for getting to the same place in your brain, right, in terms of how to think of something. Yeah, and I think there's definitely some similarities there. And I think the sort of major difference is that with this style of meditating, you are always

moving with your direct experience. Like you're directly experiencing the breath, you're directly experiencing the body, and you're not so much trying to shift your thoughts, which is like, you know, we often live our lives on the intellectual realm. Like we're thinking, we much trying to shift your thoughts, which is like, you know, we often live our lives on the intellectual realm. Like we're thinking, we're trying to figure things out, we're trying to process things, but this style of meditating is like, let me see how balanced I can be with what I'm feeling. And I think that's one of the struggles, like a lot of our struggles mentally in life is is like because we're avoiding what we're feeling and this helps you just

Embrace that truth of impermanence the way everything's constantly changing without it being a battle and now it's like more of a friendship. So again, you have a way with words. And so would you say what are the ways that like in a but how meditation, like, what did it help you do? It helped you? Okay. When areas of life did it really kind of, yeah, I think I'm in the beginning, it opened up my relationships. Like, I really saw the way my relationship with my parents was quite stagnant and quite superficial, similar with the relationships with my friends.

It felt like we had a set pattern and we would just repeat that pattern over and over and over again. And when I, as I kept meditating, I realized that I don't have to say the same thing anymore or like all the time, I don't have to be the same way. And if I put in a different input into the situation, I'll get a different output. And I think one of the classic examples that I point to is the relationship with my father where I love him. Like I love him so much.

He's a fantastic human being. And he cares for all of us so deeply, but he often cares for us in a silent way where he shows us how much he loves us by how he will just break his back for us. It will work so hard for us and really tried to care for us in that way. But I felt like I really wanted to vocalize my love to him. So I remember this day where I would, you know, I saw him coming in home from work.

And I was like, let me just give him a big hug and tell him I love him. And I think of that day kind of like opened a new chapter on a relationship where it's like even so much more open than before, he tells me, he loves me, he tells me he's proud of me in ways that he wasn't able to say that before when I was younger. And but that was, I think I credit, I mean a lot of that was his work too, but I think the door opened when I was like,

you know what, let me hug this man because I love that dude, you know. That's so cute. That's so cute. That's so cute. Did your dad meditate now? Did you get your dad in your team? No, no, my dad is not. He's like, I can't.

He's like, I'm just trying to figure out how to live with all this stuff. Exactly, exactly. He doesn't even, but like, but how about your, but did you get your wife in you? Cause you said she meditates, but did you get your wife into it?

Yeah, when she heard about it, she wanted to go on her own, but she just had to work out her work schedule and do it. And it's been wonderful. Like, you know, she's not only my wife, my best friend, my roommate, my manager, like my number one sort of, you know, we think about everything together, but she's also my comrade in wisdom.

Like she takes the path of wisdom so seriously, she loves meditating. We, you know, I've seen her flourish and we will talk about the practice so much with each other. And it's like we're in this together in a really profound and I don't know, like undeniable way. And I think it's funny because when we first met in college, we were immediately attracted to each other and we both weren't quite sure why. You know, like, we're because we were so different from each other, we came, you know, she came from like the middle of, you know, tiny little suburb and I was from the city and, you know, she came from a Jewish background. I was Ecuadorian. wish yeah yeah and stop it no way really yeah yeah Sarah you should have brought Sarah I know I

know yeah did you did you fast yesterday did she fast yeah I was young Kapoor no she did not no but she's very she's very Jewish yeah but so we were both like if we were like why do we even into each other and the connection was so strong that there were multiple times when we're like, we don't know how to take care of this relationship because we didn't have the skills to, you know, to like love each other well. Yeah. But we kept going back, like, you know, we would try to break up and we kept going back, kept going back.

And once we started meditating, it was like, Oh, like we've done this before. Like we've been doing this, you know, like we've been doing this together and like now our relationship makes so much more sense and it was beautiful the way over time. Like it wasn't immediately perfect, but over time, meditating and working on our individual things created this effect where more harmony started coming into our relationship. And that's what I'm saying. So like the first effect that I saw from meditating was it just transformed deepened and brought more harmony to the relationship. So didn't make anything perfect, but it brought this like

deeper connection that wasn't quite there before. So then how did it? Okay, so at that time you had a consulting job So did you first go on social media or do you first go on right the book? The the first thing I did was I sheepishly go on right the book. The first thing I did was I sheepishly asked my wife for her support because we moved to New York City and our plan was to you know just be around our college friends, try to get better jobs and just you know keep building together and I had that feeling that I should write for like a while and I was not telling her about it. I was pretty scared by it and I asked Sarah, I was like, hey, I feel like, like, can you give me time? You know, can you give me time to just focus on writing, to start teaching myself how to write, to start putting things out there because I don't know if it'll work, but it may work, you know?

And she said yes. So she let me spend a few years without working and just focusing on writing. And she took care of the two of us. So you can imagine this moment. I was like very sheepishly, like almost like head down. I was like, I have this idea. It's kind of crazy. Are you down? Like, can you cold the two of us down for a little while while I try to do this? And I told her the backup plan. I was like, if it doesn't work, I'm going to become, I'm going to teach history in high school. told her the backup plan. I was like, if it doesn't work, I'm gonna become, I'm gonna teach history in high school. That's the plan. And I was like, and you know that that's doable.

Like I can make that happen. And she was like, okay. So she gave me time. What was the plan? What in your head, how did you describe it to her? I told her that like, I had, I was watching Instagram and I told her I had seen a few writers, you know, get their stuff out there

and start developing success. I'm talking like first wave Instagram writers like Ruby Coward, RM Drake, and they were putting their books out there. I didn't understand back then to what degree or how many books they were selling, but I saw that it was possible to make a living off of your own writing. When I explained that to her, I was like, I need time, though, to like develop my voices or write her to develop, to figure out what exactly

I'm going to write about, to figure out how I can talk about this healing message in a way where, you know, at a time when people are inundated with stuff, like how you can get someone's attention in a healthy way. And she said, yes, you know, she was like, yeah, go for it, give it your best shot. And now she's very, she's very happy.

Yeah, she's very, very grateful. Yeah. She said yes. Fun fact, did you know our brains thrive on ketones? Ketones can cross the blood brain barrier and act as fuel for the brain, helping you achieve and sustain peak mental clarity. And guess what? You don't need to be in ketosis to take advantage of ketones.

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Yeah, there was different styles that, in the beginning, it was similar to everyone else where, you know, you put up a picture and then you read a caption. Yeah. So the first few things that I would write, they were, like, these longer little essays that would fit into the 2000 characters that Instagram would give you. And I think during that time it got up to like maybe like 30,000 followers. That's still a lot. It was a lot.

Yeah, I was like, we were like, whoa, and but it was slow. Like it took like two years to get there. And then when I switched to the format of the full black and white, let me write, you know, a little piece or give or just share the main idea of what I was writing about as an image, that's when everything started taking off. But here was this. This was like 2015.

So you've been on Instagram for how long then? That's been like 10 years? Yeah, it's been a while. It's been a long time, it's been like nine years. And I think of myself as like a second generation Instagram writer, so like I came after that sort of like that first group that had some success. And and then like, you know, after I I self-published inward, I felt like that first poetry and prose book. I just I knew I was like, no publisher's gonna want this. I was like no publisher is going to want this. I was like they're not going to want this. They wouldn't even know what to do with it. So let me

just self publish and see what happens. And it's self published did. I think it sold like 12,000 copies in like five or six months. And I was just like blown away. I was like whoa this is crazy. Eventually signed with a publisher, re-released that book and bookstores, and then everything just kind of took off. How many did you sell that particular book? After you did that book, I think today, like probably like 350,000 copies. Oh, that one.

Yeah. And it's been, you know, just watching it all grow, I think it was after I hit 100,000, it was much faster to hit, 500,000. And you know, from a million to two million was probably like the fastest jump. And I think now my audience is like around like 3.5 million. And it's just been a whirlwind. It's been, yeah. Right. Could you need some traction to get traction, right? Yeah. It's really hard to grow from zero or 30,000. What did you think it was though?

Do you think it just was that it was catching fire because people were sharing it? Yeah. I think it was people were sharing it and it was the right place, right time. I think I was doing this healing work at the same time that a lot of other people were doing their healing work. And people were sort of navigating through the dark because there weren't that many clear modalities then, there weren't any coaches, there weren't any like, you know, therapists on Instagram, yeah, we're talking like way before all that's the,

it's inundated. Yeah, so if you want something like you can just go out there and just like type it in and you'll get it, but back then there was nothing. So that conversation that was happening in 2015, 2016 about self love, when self love like really first hit Instagram, you know, I was part of that conversation and I would just write about my perspectives on self love. And I think a lot of that helped it all grow. Right. Because it because things always trend,

right? Yeah. We can totally talk about it. After the self-love conversation came, the conversation about letting go, after that came the conversation about different styles, like, little ways that you can let go, different modalities. Like, what? Tell us about all the different how we have to raise. All right, so 2015 to 2016, self-love was huge. 2017 to 2019, so many people were talking about letting go and talking about their different perspectives on it. I think 2020 was the big year of the Instagram therapist, right, where so many of them came on and then just like hit it hard.

And it was wonderful because then out of that came conversations about boundaries, conversations about, you know about narcissism, how to deal with a family group and all of that. And I think now we're in a time period where authenticity has become more important than anything because everything is so inundated. There are so many different people who are sharing their words online. All businesses know that you should have some type of words,

because when you share words on your Instagram, and if there are words that connect with people, and they're also, you know, are nice looking the way they set up the visuals, then other people will share them, and then your business will grow. So not only do you have like the writers and therapists and poets sharing their words, but all of these small businesses are also doing it because they know it helps grow the page. So I think these days, people are just like, let me like, how can I be real so that I'm not just like saying the same thing everyone else is saying. But everybody's saying this, this is the problem, right? Everybody's starting to say the same. I mean, I become deaf to it, right? And it, it's because it's now like information overload. Everybody's saying the same things in one iteration or another, right? And it's because it's now like information overload. And everybody's saying the same things in one iteration or another, right?

And I do notice like the posts that do really well are the ones that are words, right? The pages that are growing fast aren't people, you know, posting with their, you know, dog any more of their cat or whatever at the beach. But it's the ones that have a meaningful quote that people relate to. Even on my page, if I put a quote, that one gets way more traction than literally anything else. Yeah, and you'll notice too that even in the age of reels, when people are putting up so

many videos, if you get a reel that has 30,000 likes and a sort of a post about, you know, that has an image of words, that has 30,000 likes, those words will probably get you more followers. And it's interesting seeing this dynamic and I think that combination of the two, it's like that's the age we live in. You have to mix in video too, but there's a big value to just put words because if people are inundated with videos, constantly videos, like their mind's going to want a moment to relax as they're scrolling to just read a few words.

And I talk about this with other friends who have Instagram, you know, followings, like I'm really good friends with Nadra and Alex L and a bunch of other people, but we talk about how important it is to, you know, there's like, you can write a hit, like you can. And there's, there's almost like a, a formula to it. And it may not hit every single time, but if you keep trying it, it'll work. And if you take the combination of whatever topic is popular in that moment, and you make it so that you're innocent and another person is guilty, then it's likely that this thing will catch more attention because that's just human psychology. But you have to be really

sort of wary of that and one, you don't want to make it, you don't want people to think that it's always someone else's fault because that's totally unrealistic, right? That's not life. Like, and of course, granted, there are definitely people who've been hurt by others, who've been abused, who've gotten out of traumatic situations. That is well respected and acknowledged, but at the same time in everyday relationships, like it's usually two people are making mistakes,

not just one. But what do you say, I think what I, talking about authenticity, is there's strategy behind it. And people pretend that is there's strategy behind it. And people pretend that there's no strategy behind it. When your business is literally online, you don't have a business of no one's following you, right? And no one likes your stuff. That is what it is.

So you have to figure out the algorithm, the strategies, what's going to be the next version or iteration of this feeling of belonging. And, you know, I felt like with COVID, especially having all these online pseudo-therapists come on was exactly what we needed, right, because people were isolated and lonely and displaced and all these things. We need ideas. Ideas, like, how do we figure out this relationship? How do I take care of my mind?

100%. And so some people exploded during there. Because you were already big already. No, COVID definitely. I think I grew like over a million during COVID. You did grow. OK, so I know like Nicole. I mean, she exploded during a holistic psychologist

who's going to be here later, funnily enough, but exploded because, and if you have good content that really does resonate with people, you're like, it's like a match made in heaven. But the other issue is like, people, it's like she's actually a, she's like a Cornell graduate, a club blah blah. A lot of people are not therapists who are going on, they're giving them, giving people this advice or like saying their information. Do you think there's harm in that too? Because left to people's own devices, you don't know who's looking at what, right?

Yeah, I think if you're pretending to be something that you're not, that's definitely a very harmful and dangerous. Like don't say you're a therapist if you're not a therapist. definitely very harmful and dangerous. Like, don't say you're a therapist if you're not a therapist. Right. But there are also a lot of other people who are poets and meditators and, you know, different writers of sorts where they are all, you know, they also have perspective. Perspectives, I'm going to say. And that's one thing which is like, you know, what I share are points of reflection. Yeah. I'm not like, this is love, and this is the way all people need to love.

No, it's just like, think about love in this particular way. And if you agree with it or not, great, it made you think, right? Totally. And that's, I think, when people kind of step into that zone that I'm just sharing a perspective, and I've actually also seen a lot of the online therapist

sort of take a step back and be like, this is not active therapy, right? This is me just sharing a perspective with you, which I think is fantastic. And then people need to also be their own masters and decide for themselves, what connects, what doesn't connect, what they want to, what they want to put into play in their lives.

Yeah, what I like about your stuff, when I was like, when I, it's very, it is, it's exactly what you said. It's like you're talking from like your perspective. If you're feeling this, you know, like, there's a lot of rel, it's very relationship oriented. Is that right now, because I feel like I'm seeing it all the time now, the relationship,

is that the zygas we're in right now? I think so, absolutely. I mean, relationships are like, we're talking like, food, family relationships. If you were to level out, what's the most important things in life? And it's like, everybody has to eat. I love that you said food for the first time. Yeah, because if you don't eat for too long, then you're done for, right? 100 percent.

But if we were to grade things of importance on a scale like relationships is coming in a hard second third or fourth Depending on who you are. Yeah, so when you talk about them people care like they want to know how to make their friendships work They want to know how to like make you know how to evolve a new relationship or evolve an old one and it hits It's at the core of being a human being I think that's why everyone's like trying to say their piece. Oh, I totally agree. I also think the why the relationship is more than ever. I think people are like very lonely.

Yeah. And with social media being what it is, there's nobody really knowing how the dating is now become like a dinosaur. People are not even dating anymore properly. And other than on apps. And then because of the situation with apps, you can just swirl, you can just like, oh my gosh, yeah. No one's having real relationships to connect,

the connecting point is very difficult. So I think because so many people are in that situation, they're looking for guidance, or people that are in the same situation, that they're like, yeah, me too, I feel that way. So like everything is hitting in a certain way. Yeah, it's funny, even listening to you talk, right? It's making me realize that there are these two points about relationships that are coming up all the time now

and it's hard conversations and emotional intelligence. And you see so many people talking about these two things because they're at the crux of a relationship. So if you aren't able to build emotional intelligence while you're with someone and you can't have hard conversations and you don't, you don't, you don't got anything. You don't have like a real platform to stand on and the relationship will ultimately break. So it's just funny seeing the trend because I think if we were to say a trend of like this moment, I think those two things really stand out.

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like feelings of the heart or relationships everyone wants to feel connected. You know, it doesn't like success is funny because you can have all the money in the world and all the success in the world financially or in your business. But if you are lonely and can't connect to people and have that disconnect, that will be the one thing that brings you misery

and unhappiness. Because that other stuff truly doesn't bring you joy. And anybody who's in that will tell you that's the truth, right? No, I totally believe it. I feel like that's why I try to cherish my relation. I think that's one of the biggest gifts that I've gotten from spending all these 11 years meditating and trying to understand impermanence is because I saw that I was taking my relationships for granted. And now like, you don't know, like you literally doesn't, you know, you have no idea at one point something will end because everything in the universe arises It lasts for some time and then it'll pass away and you don't know when How long your parents will be here? You don't know how long your friends will be here or your partner like you don't know

What number of situations may happen, but while they are there are you present? Are you trying to bring your fullest self with a good sense of energy into the situation so that you can really make the most of this beautiful moment that you have in front of you? Because we often think about impermanence in the sense of, like, you know, what it will take away, you know, because we're so scared, oh, I love this,

I want to keep this forever. But I think we also have to think about it in terms of impermanence allowed this opportunity to even exist. Can you imagine if the universe wasn't dynamic? If the universe wasn't always changing and flowing and ebbing, then you and I would not be able to have this conversation. Right. There'd be no nothing. There'd be nothing. Everything would be still, but change allowed this moment to exist. So let me try to be as present as present as possible and learn as much from it and Be joyful. Yeah, but I find interesting though like what came first with you because you walk in you have a very nice way about you I told you that you's nice a beautiful energy

Thank you, and no, it's true you and I like and I'm not just saying that like and you if I have a calmness to you Is it well you it's like the chicken of the egg like where you like, and you have a calmness to you, is it, well, you, it's like the chicken of the egg, like, where you go like this and then the meditation just amplified it or did it, meditation just really change you into this person. I was in that nice before. Really? Because everything was very calming and nice and like real. Yeah, no, I think I wasn't like, like a criminal or anything like that. But I was like that, but I wasn't like I wasn't a very nice person I think in a lot of ways I was like quietly mean to some people or a jerk sometimes and I just think I could have Tended to the people around me in much more gentler ways like you know sometimes it was too quick to to say my

Perspective and it might you know hurt someone's feeling or something like that, especially when I was in high school or college and I've reckon with that was the fact that I could have said things in better ways. And now when I think about myself moving through the world, I want to move as gently as possible. Because I don't know what's going on in your life, I don't know what's going, when you meet someone new, you don't know, you don't know what's happening, you don't. I don't know what's going, you know, when you meet someone new, you don't know. You don't know what's happening. You don't know anything about them. So just like try my best to move gently to be kind with my words, to stick in my truth

and, you know, say no when I need to say no, but to be gentle. I think that feels like a really important mission for me personally. Like now that you have like all these millions of followers, are you writing everything do you have people to help you find messages to write? Like no. Yeah, no, I write everything. I am my wife edits everything, but I do all of the writing. So it's interesting. So with the young

pueblo work, my wife, she does all of the, she's my manager and she does all of the interfacing with the talent agency, with the, you know, with all the the interfacing with the talent agency, with all the different publishers, with the speaking of all this stuff that at all of it. Yeah, sometimes. And she takes care of that side of things and then helps me make all the big decisions on top of that. But then I, so I can focus on all the writing and posting and then also focus on the venture capital work

that I started doing. So us dividing up the work like that just like opened up a bunch of doors for me because before when I started, like I trust me, I spent three years writing online, my email was empty. Yeah. Crickets, right?

There's nothing going on. Nobody wanted anything from me. And then all of a sudden it was just like more and more and more emails emails and I was like, I can't even have time to write. That's 100%. Just like, it's just like a full time job just like reading the emails.

Totally. What are people asking you to do? Like what are the requests that are coming in? Oh, like anything and everything. Like an origin. Yeah, just like, you know, people wanting, you know, they have this project and they want me to jump into it or...

To do what? Like, to write? Yeah, just like, I don't know. People come up with so many different ideas. And honestly, I just, I don't see a lot of the emails. I like, I like Sarah just to talk to me about whatever you think is important. Yeah.

And I'm just gonna write. But it's, you know, could literally be anything like to speak at this place or, you know, we'll give you X amount of money if you do this ad or we'll give you, you know, just so many different things that I'm really grateful. I'm grateful that opportunities can come our way and then we can pick like 2% of them to do. But at the same time, if I were just answering emails, I would write nothing. You know, there'd be no more creative work done. Absolutely. Do you do a lot as like speaking engagement? Where you keynote?

Sometimes, yeah, sometimes I'll go through phases where I'll do some keynote speaking. What are you talking about? Talk about personal transformation. I think I tried to keep it like really practical, inspiring people to know that transformation is possible. Also, it's sometimes talking about how, you know, how to even bring about your business in this like online moment that we're in and sometimes about like, you know, venture capital. It just depends on what the situation is, but people will ask and I'll go through phases where I'll do speaking events and what not for companies, but that's also really exhausting. So I'd rather just try to focus my energy on either writing a new book or writing on my sub-stack or the venture capital work that I've been doing or if there's a new business venture I want to open up.

So when you say sub-stack, is that your news? Is your news that I was on that, right? What is this? Can you explain that? I want to get into all this because I must shock when I was like breeding your bio. You're your bile and co-founder of wisdom ventures. I'm like, what? Totally not what I was expecting. And excited also. So, what is the news letter? Who's writing the news letter? Tell me that part. Yeah. So, in terms of the news letter, it's all on Substack. Substack is this like

wonderful company that I'm invested in personally. Wisden Ventures, my venture capital company that I've run with a few other friends were also invested in it. Substack is literally like a culture engine. It's like where podcasters, writers, people who are, you know, journalists in this world where they're creating content of any sort. Contextration basically. They will, it's a place where you can have access to your audience without an algorithm in between. So it is the evolved form of a newsletter where before people used to have to pay like

hundreds of dollars to maintain their newsletter every month, it's sub-stackets all for free, and you actually can even create a paid option so that people can get more content. So some podcasters will share the extra sort of 15 minutes of their podcast that isn't on Spotify. They'll share it on on sub-stack for the people who are paid subscribers. What I do is I'll share a few things a month new pieces of writing for free, but if you want a piece of writing every week, then you can, you know, pay five dollars a month to be a part of my paid subscription. That also gives you access to like this private chat room where me and all the other people

are like, you know, we like we're like checking in once a week or week and a half and people are like sharing what they're grateful about or what they're learning and it's super cool. It's just a new model where you can kind of be in contact with your audience without having a platform that's going to just change the rules on you all of a sudden. 100%. Yeah. It's kind of like, what's that thing called that everyone's doing?

It's like a different form of Patreon? Yeah, Patreon, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what's that thing called that everyone's doing? It's like a different form of Patreon? Yeah, Patreon, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There are some similarities, but I find that it's easier to use and quite different in the sense that it's so much more. It's not exactly like you get this for this amount of money or all these different tiers and all that, but it's like, it's sub-sac just streamlines everything, it makes it more efficient and I love it.

I love the founders, I love their mission, I love that they're just trying to, they initially started with trying to liberate writers and they're doing that, but now they're trying to just open it up to all the other fields. Okay, so what made you decide to start a fund in the first place? Yeah, so I met my friend, Soren Gordhammer.

He's the creator of Wisdom 2.0. This wonderful conference that happens in Silicon Valley once a year, and he brings together the tech and the mindfulness world. And I had done that conference a few times, and one time when we were checking in, sometime I think it was early 2020, he was telling me about this

idea to try to create a fund that will invest in the next generation of platforms. Platforms that won't make you addicted, that won't increase loneliness, that won't increase depression. Platforms that are very intentionally created so that we're not harming people's minds. I was like, dude, I want to end. I was like, I want to help. So him, myself, and four other friends, we're all general partners.

You know, Jack Cornfield, Jack Cornfield was a famous meditation teacher. He's also a part of it. Oh, wow. And we also have, How many founders are there? There's six of us. Six of you.

Yeah, and Bradley Horowitz, he's like our big muscle where he worked at Google for a very long time, was a VP of product. He like helped, he led the team that developed Gmail and like a bunch of other products that we use all the time. Wow. But he has like incredible investing, like expertise in the, you know, angel investing world.

And so we're bringing all these people together who really care about just making and particularly investing in companies that are building their products in a way that keep the well-being of the user in mind. So as we're whether it's a wellness company or not, if they're building their product with this like compassionate design, that they're really trying to think, okay, how is this gonna affect the human mind? And as we build it, we wanna make sure the platform's still fun, it still provides whatever service is gonna provide,

but let's make sure we're not harming the human mind in the process. And I think, yeah, that's where Wiz and Ventures exists. It's like our, basically our thesis is that compassion is good business and we're just out to prove it. So you guys raised money or did you guys put your own money in? We, I mean, all of the partners are invested, but we also raised, I mean, we raised 10 million for our fund one.

And we've been investing primarily in precede, seed, sometimes series A, and just companies that we come across that we find. And we're like, well, that's a fantastic mission. A good example, there's this company called Better Leave that I really love. It's a bereavement company that tries to focus in on that end of life moment, right? When someone has a family member or someone that cares about who's about to pass away, sometimes that process of passing away

can take like a year or two years and not only will it be so mentally and physically difficult because you're trying to care for the person that you love, but there is a ton of legal aspects, insurance, right? There's not only mental health care for yourself for the person, there's tons of stuff. And what this company better leave does is, it brings together all those things you might need,

so that that whole process isn't as stifling and burdensome on you and the person who's helping doing all the caring. And you just pay, you know, you pay a particular monthly fee and you could access to all of the resources possible that can just help streamline that because often when someone passes away, you're just like shocked at the end of it. And you're like, oh my gosh, I have all these things I need to take care of. What do I do with that? What I do with insurance, do I do with this and this just makes all that easier? And to what level would stage are they at?

I mean, they're servicing people right now. They're active so it's you know, you can I think you can go and better leave.com and Get their services if you need them. You the spokesperson right now. I talk about them because they're sort of like the clearest example of just like compassionate action. Like, you know, it's such a crappy process, streamline it, make it easier for people. So how much time are you spending on that? A good amount of time. I call it, I call it, I venture capital Tuesdays.

Really? Yeah. And Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'll spend a ton of time just like, you know, in these meetings, seeing founders, trying to, you know know just do whatever needs to be done. Pitches you all the time. Yeah, we hear a lot of pitches and we make you know so as a general partner I do you know, I make sure of the fundraising work sort of helping create the investment structure, hearing the pitches, making decisions and it's nice, it's with a group of people, like, honestly, I feel like I'm getting a free MBA from

learning from these people. I was going to say, I'm going to give a great team with you too. Yeah, so we have a bunch of people who are, you know, just super experienced in this world, but there's also like the heart in the mission. And I feel like, I think compassion can be is good business. Like, I've been really inspired with the clothing world in the way where, you know, once people started learning about sweatshops

and all these things and fast fashion, people were like, oh, I actually don't want anything to do with that. I want whatever it is that I'm gonna wear to be much more intentionally created. And I think we need to bring that energy into the tech world. Totally. So is that kind of like a big passion of yours?

You like the business stuff? You like the, I think so. I think the fun stuff. Yeah, I was always interested in the business world, but I'm glad that it all started happening once my mind was like stable and anchored. I felt like now I can make clearer mission-aligned decisions and not just be in it to make a bunch of money.

I mean, making money is important because you have to take care of your family, but at the same time, I don't just want to be in it for that. I want to be in it to try to help people. And you told me that you're like obsessed with the wellness stuff, right? So I love supplements. I know. I'm obsessed with all of it, like all the hacks and modalities and this and that. So what is your day, how do you spend your day? Like give me like a day in the life of what you do. Yeah, so normally I'll wake up, I'll either do a few hours of work and then meditate in the morning.

Okay, what time do you wake up? I need to know detail. Okay, sure. I'll usually wake up at like 7.38. It depends on like the traveling situation. If I'm at home, I'll wake up a little earlier from traveling, my body's like more38. It depends on like the traveling situation. If I'm at home, I'll wake up a little earlier. If I'm traveling, my body's like more tired. So I'll wake up like at 8 or 830. Then I'll get up. I'll try to do either a few hours

of work or just jump into meditation, depending on what the schedule is that day. Yeah. Yeah. You know, get up, go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, start meditating. And always in bed, like in the morning, you can do it at a table. I had home, you know, we have like a little meditation room and I can just go in there and just meditate and normally my wife and I meditate both hours together. So I'll kind of check in with her and see what her schedule is because you know, we'll be doing different things. And then after that, I just just keep working. I'll either write in the morning, I'll make sure to drink some water, take some, you know, I've been really enjoying NMN and Resvera

Troll. Like I've been, I love Davidson Claire. And so true niagen is NR, you know, NR is. Yeah. Okay. And it gets into your system. Wait, it's. Is it? Yeah. Oh, my, I'm going to give, I have, you actually have some in your gift bag. Oh, that's so nice of you. Yeah. No, no, no, it's, I've been taking it for like five years. I like one time, David Sinclair sent me a DM and he's like, I love your stuff. And I was like, no, way man, I was like, I love you. Thanks for trying to figure out how to keep us alive, healthier for longer.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I mean, I don't know much about that, but I will tell you that if you are someone who's very into optimizing your health and your longevity and your energy and your recovery, you have to start taking true knowledge. Okay. I'm serious. And like, I believe you.

I'm telling you, I gave you a whole thing. There's a green fat there of that multi-fat I told you about, and there's also metabolic daily, I think, I gave you for glucose, for your gut health. That's what I gave you in your bag. Okay, what else do you do? Do you do any like sauna cold plunge? Yes, I don't, I've been taking cold showers. I don't have a cold plunge. I'm thinking about getting a lot. You want to jump into that one? Oh my gosh, you got it right there. That's amazing. I do sauna. That was like the big treat that my wife and I got ourselves. We got

an infrared sauna and my suka's covering it. Oh yeah, I see it. Yeah, I've been living in that. I think I do it at least once a day anywhere between like 35, 40 minutes to an hour and I'm just in there. At least once a day, did you say? At least once a day, yeah. And. Which temperature, which kind do you have? I have the, I forget the name, but it's great. It's like the type, it's infrared, so it doesn't get that hot.

I think the highest it goes, it's like 165. 170, yeah, 165. Yeah, they don't get that hot. Yeah. But it makes me sweat. I'm like sweating bullets. And it keeps me, I think it's really helping me to stay healthy Really? Yeah, cuz I I feel like it's making a world of a difference and

By the way, have you seen this? I was looking at it. Yeah, okay, so this is the this is from pharisage It's a portable song it read him for it's an infrared portable mm-hmm. I'm telling you okay I'm a girl girl maybe I like it that better than my other sauna because well I don't want to get my hair my hair. I'll screw that up. Yeah, yeah, but it gets super hot and you can watch like TV while you're doing it. That's so cool. I know and I love it and it's a really high quality one. You're looking at that. Yeah, it has a little cheer. No, I was totally noticing. Yeah, yeah. I've seen some videos about those, but I think, yeah, the sauna, I'll do that sometime, either after a workout or a little later in the evening, I tried to do my working out.

I love running, so I try to run like every other day. And I love it to it. So bad for your joints though, but I just the best way I've ever. But I don't care. I love it. You know, it's the only thing that gets my brain in like the endorphins going. I know. And I just feel like I feel mentally good. I feel stronger. I've been working a lot more on bringing in the,

you know, the just building muscle and all of that. But I like. Well, Ryan, you break down your muscle. I know. I know. Do you tell me the truth, babe? I know. I know you.

And I know it too obviously, and I still do the truth? I know. I believe me. And I know it too, obviously. And I still do it. So I'm on any better. And you know, I'll the big thing that I've been adding to my life has been intermittent fasting. I think that's helped a lot with just also staying healthy. I've been, you know, I've realized that breakfast is not the best meal of the day. It's just the worst. Like I just really don't eat it. And that's, you know, just speaking for me personally. So, you don't get it in the morning? No, I'll skip it and I'll usually eat at like one.

Mm-hmm. And then I'll have dinner at like five. And some days I'll, you know, I might have one meal a day, throw it in there. And I've been trying to bring in like doing, you know, 35, 36 hour fast every now and then like a few times a month. Wow. And it's been like really,

I think particularly good for the mind. Yeah, it helps you with the focus. That's what that whole thing is for, that shot there. The first time I did the 36 hour fast, I was like, the week after I was like, my brain is firing. Really? It really really working well

I hear your foggy for the first little bit and then you get sharp right? Oh the first time It was so funny the first time we did it my wife and I I was like ready to give up at like six p.m Yeah And she was like you need to you need to toughen up. Yeah I'm like your wife a lot. I like the Sarah. And I'm really grateful to her because without her and now like I'm like, you know, doing it a little more than she is, but um because she's also trying to do it like according to her cycle and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's been really valuable learning that for the both of us that we don't need the same thing

all the time. You definitely don't. Yeah. But so you basically run, you do the wait four times a week, you meditate every day. What happens? Why is it an hour or not enough a day? Why do you need two hours? I think the idea behind it is that when you're sleeping, you are reacting a ton. You're literally constantly reacting to the sensations on the body. So for example, your conscious mind is, you know, it's a sleep, but your subconscious

mind is like totally awake. Like you can feel yourself when you're getting colder and you like cover up or you're too hot and you take the covers off or from mosquitoes biting you, you're like swatting it while you're sleeping. So your sensations are active the whole time, but we're constantly reacting to them. Like I like them. I don't like them. But when you wake up in the morning, it helps sort of clean the mind of all those reactions that you built up. And then in the evening, you know, you spent the whole day like working and talking to people and the reacting. So it's almost like you're taking a shower for your mind in the morning and another shower for your mind in the evening. That's amazing. I know I've kept you here a long time and I didn't even actually, if you can believe

it, ask you any of my questions that I have written down. Oh, perfect. Yeah. Can you believe it? Oh, my gosh. But I really enjoy talking to you. And for the people who are living under a rock, where can people find your stuff? Yeah.

You can come. I think the funnest place where I'm hanging out these days is Substack. You can find me at youngpoiablo.substack.com and young without, you know, misdropping the O. And also on my Instagram at youngpoiplo with the underscore in the middle. And, you know, you can just check me out in bookstores too. My three books are in there and my newest one, The Way Forward, which I think is my favorite poetry and prose book that I've written. So check that out when I don't if you haven't. It's my favorite, by the way. So I really like it. I've been dog geared. Some of it. So thank you so much. Thank you for being here. It's a pleasure meeting you. Yeah. Likewise.

It's been amazing. Your energy is amazing. Thank you. Yeah. Really? Oh my god. That's coming from you. That's a huge compliment. It's like make me feel so comfortable and so like the conversation. I said a bunch of shit I'd never say really really wanted to detail about the relationship stuff and yeah, that was really cool. Thank you This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Hala Taha, CEO of the award-winning Digital Media Empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit.

On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-List guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guests. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark, Damon John, serial entrepreneurs entrepreneur Alex and Lila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey.

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