Habits and Hustle - Episode 320: How To Become Bolder

Episode Date: February 16, 2024

What does it mean to be bold? In this solo episode of Habits and Hustle, I chat with you about what it means to be bold and how you can build your way up to taking bigger, better, and bolder actions. I also share why there’s no need for you to be afraid of coming off as rude when you’re acting bold; there is a big difference between the two. What we discuss: 00:37: What does it mean to be bold? 02:01: What are some examples of being bold? 05:48: What’s the difference between being bold and rude? 09:33: What is a thirst trap? Thank you to our sponsors: Pendulum: head over to pendulumlife.com and use my special code HUSTLE15 for 15% off your order. Therasage: go to therasage.com and use code B-BOLD for 15% off Find more from Jen:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement

Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it! Before we dive into today's episode, I first want to thank our sponsor, Therisage. Their Tri-Lite panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go. And I personally use their Red Light Therapy to help reduce inflammations in places in my body where honestly I have pain.

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Head over to Therisage.com right now and use code Be Bold for 15% off. This code will work site-wide. Again, head over to Therisage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off any of their products. Okay, we're back for more solos with my foil, Shani. Woohoo! Thank you for listening. By the way, before I forget, because I tend to, guys, it would be great if you guys can leave a review, a comment on this episode or any episodes. And if you haven't subscribed, please subscribe.

It makes such a difference. So I'd appreciate it. Now let's jump in. And join the Facebook group. And join the Facebook group. Okay, so today we're going to talk about being bold. And you know why? Interestingly enough, I've been on a lot of podcasts talking about being bold.

My book is obviously called Bigger, Better, Bolder. But yet I don't think I've ever actually done an episode or spoken about really what bold is on my own podcast. So I thought that today can be a time that we can delve into the idea of what boldness is just a little bit and kind of share the boldness message on my podcast. What do you think?

I love that. I think that's a great idea. Don't you? I think it's a bold idea. I think it's a very bold idea. So the first part here is what is being bold? People ask me all the time what it means to be bold. And what I want to share with people is that boldness is a skill like anything else.

If you want to get good at tennis, if you want to get good at Spanish karate, I don't care, pick your modality. It's something that you have to do over and over again. You've got to practice it just like, like being bold and you don't need to be born bold. People tend to think that you're either born bold or you're not. And I believe that you can harness this no matter what kind of personality you have. Hmm. That's why I have you here for that.

Can you give us an example of something bold that someone could do in an everyday situation? Absolutely, I can. So anybody can practice this by doing these little bold moves daily. So what I'm thinking is because we want to always give people these actionable, practical things to improve themselves. I would say if you're someone who needs to work on that boldness muscle, a really easy step is to pick something really small that you do every day, like your cell phone, like calling your cell service provider and seeing if there's any other package that you can be on that may save you money, that may be a better plan for you by just making that one call.

It's getting you primed for asking for bigger things in life. So if you are not comfortable asking for little things, how are you ever gonna be comfortable asking for the big things in life? And that's truly the message here is that you need to be practicing by getting better at something, by doing small steps daily to increase your,

I guess, your ability at it like anything else. And I think we also have to get very comfortable with being okay with the word no, and being okay if we don't succeed. Because the truth is a lot of times we may not get to that actual goal and that's okay, but by going through the motions other things open themselves up, other opportunities happen by you going down the path of being bold. emotions, other things open themselves up, other opportunities happen by you going down the path of being bold. I like that.

Being okay with the rejection or the failure just because, I mean, no matter what, how many of those times do you go out there and put yourself there, you're going to succeed at least a number of them. Well, I think the way I look at it is more about the idea that you want to become desensitized to the idea of rejection and failing or rejection in general, right? And the only way to become desensitized to something is if it happens over and over again, right? If you never get rejected and then you get rejected, it's like, oh my God, it's like a huge sting. But if it's happened over and over and over again,

you're kind of like, all right, onto the next, onto the next. And that's really what the idea of like this 10% target that I'm a real believer in and why I wrote the book. And my TED talk is all around this idea of making 10 attempts at whatever you want most to get, not only to get to that goal, because like I said, most of the time you may not even get to that goal, but it primes you for that idea of you know what, like, either you will get to the goal or another opportunity will present itself, but also you'll becoming more, you'll become more comfortable with the idea of failure, the idea of rejection. You become immune to that feeling because you've already like primed yourself for the, okay, I'm going to

be doing making these 10 attempts. So you're already in that in that mindset. And also, then you don't live with the regret of having not tried, which is so much worse. Oh my god, of course. I mean, that it's always much worse to the hundred percent like wouldn't you rather have went after something versus the idea of like, what if I did? What could I? What should I do? If I did this or if I should have done that? That to me is way, way worse because that's a gut feeling.

That's a guttural feeling that lives with you forever. Not maximizing on your potential to me at the end of your life is way worse than attempting and going after something and not getting it and failing. Rejection is always way worse and is always way better, I should say, than regret. Completely. So how can people differentiate between being bold and being rude? Because I feel like a lot of times that's a question that comes up. Well, how do you ask for something while being assertive without being too aggressive or overly rude about something?

Well, I'll you know what? It's so funny because everyone always there's like set, there could be such a negative connotation with the idea of what boldness is like, why is there a negative connotation with someone who asks for what they want, who is deliberate in going after something who, you know, is assertive. I think there's so many, but it's like, those are all euphemisms that I don't believe have anything to do with being, you know, I don't think that necessarily being bold necessarily

means being rude, but I do believe there is that negative connotation. And I believe that who cares? Like if someone's going to say that, then that, you know, first of all, like where, where are they coming from? A lot of times if someone's gonna say that, then you know, first of all, like where are they coming from? A lot of times when people's opinion is that, it's because they themselves don't have the courage yet to be bold.

So then that's why they see it as being rude, right? And also it's not what you say, it's how you say it. You can really get away with saying anything if you say it nicely. Don't you think? Like it doesn't matter. Like you can be you can say something super sweet. Like you could be like, you are a fat ugly bitch. Thank you.

You say it so sweet. Thank you so much. Or you could end it with just kidding. People get away with everything by just saying at the end. I hate when people do that. That drives me bonkers. Just kidding at the end is so annoying. It's like, so annoying.

First of all, you're not just kidding. And also like, there's a lot of truth in jazz. Yeah, there's always truth. Like people think that they can like say anything if they just add the two words, just kidding at the end or LOL. They'll be like, and then they'll just say LOL at the end of something. Well, LOL is more for that. That's like the text version of just kidding. Oh, people use it in real life now.

Who says LOL in real life? Oh my goodness. Oh my God. They will actually, yeah, they will flat out just be like LOL. Because you know why this is happening? Because people have lost the ability to socialize in real time, in real life. So like they're just taking their normal text verbiage and now speaking it like real, like real conversation. 100%.

If anyone said to me, LOL, I think people have said to me and I've looked at them like, what the hell are you saying? It's a thing. It's a thing. They use IRL, like the people will use... That I haven't heard. Oh yeah. In the NFT world, it's very common because there's a lot of the online communities. So when you do like an IRL event, they literally will just say an IRL event. That's so crazy to me. I'm super excited to share my latest health obsession with you guys.

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So like to me Lol is truthfully like the way you would normally say just kidding in real life You just would say the word lol on the thing But all these vernacular, they call like vernaculars or like slang words. You got to give me like truly like I'm losing track of like, you know, I just got a couple, you know, a few of them like I heard Thirst, I learned Thirsty. Oh, Thirsty, sure. Thirsty is a good one. Have you heard of this trap? Thirst trap?

No, yeah. Thirst trap is one. You don't know about a thirst trap? Welcome to the world. You don't know about a thirst trap? All those fitness people you follow post their straps all the time. Really? Thirst traps? Yeah. Any of those guys that are posting pics without their shirts on like, come on, you're such a thirst trap. And what about a girl? Are girls doing thirst traps? Of course they do. What do you mean? Okay, define, okay, let's define what thirst trap is. So to me, okay, there's intentional and unintentional thirst traps. You could just look really good in a photo and post it and people will be like, oh, what a thirst trap. But to me, a thirst trap is specifically something that you post in order

to attract the attention of somebody like in order to or many people like you're trying to specifically evoke some sort of like sexuality, sensuality, some sort of something to either like attract your crush or to attract a couple guys like or girls or whatever. You're basically wheeling them in. You're basically trying to like wheel them in. Yeah. Okay. That's the other one. I was like, hold on. Like I've posted, I've posted things that are not at all thirst traps per se. They're not like revealing or anything, but I've literally specifically posted them for specific people.

Like I would consider that a thirst trap in my opinion. Oh, what do you mean? So you post me so someone else would like notice you basically. Yeah, yeah. But it's like specifically geared towards someone. So for example, if I have Put it on your actual social media for that one person to see it. Yeah. Yeah. So if I have, if I have like an inside joke with someone, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know about like a specific food or whatever. And then like I post a specific photo. I mean, I've only done this a few times, but and I'll post like a photo of me like eating the food. Like that is geared towards one person and sometimes I'll actually directly send it to them. I love it. Okay. Give me another one. Another one. Well, oh, hold on. Wait, don't,

I want to do a whole episode on this. Okay. Should we, should we just do this right now? Should we just do a whole other episode on this? Yeah, let's do a whole other episode on that. Okay. So should we end this right now? Yeah, let's end this right now. Okay, so I'm gonna say, so this episode is basically about how to be bold and then how to thirst trap. That's basically what this- Your guide to thirst trapping. Your guide to thirst trapping and what it actually means

and are you doing it. And tune into the next episode to find out more slang words. Yeah, next episode is gonna be like the hottest slang words of 2023 so far. That's what we're going to be covering. With a 30 year old. I feel like you're even too old for this. I think I am. I know. My god, how embarrassing. But you know what? Don't forget to subscribe. So hit the subscribe button, leave a review, leave a comment, and if you want to hear more about thirst trapping by itself, let us know.