Habits and Hustle - Episode 361: Raw and Real: Matisyahu on Music, Meditation, and Marching to His Own Beat

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Have you ever felt pressure to present a perfect image to the world, hiding your flaws and struggles?  In today’s Habits & Hustle episode, I chat with reggae/hip-hop artist Matisyahu for a remarkably candid conversation. The former Hasidic Jewish rapper opens up about his journey of self-discovery, addiction struggles, and finding balance in life. Matisyahu's honesty is refreshing as he discusses his daily cannabis use, past cocaine addiction, and the challenges of maintaining sobriety. Rather than striving for an idealized version of himself, he's learned to accept his imperfections while still pursuing growth. As he puts it, he's traded in the "race car version" of himself for a more balanced "family station wagon" approach to life. This conversation reminds us that authenticity and self-acceptance are far more valuable than presenting a facade of perfection.  Matthew Paul Miller known by his stage name Matisyahu is an American reggae singer, rapper, beatboxer, and musician. Known for blending spiritual themes with reggae, rock and hip hop beatboxing sounds, Matisyahu's 2005 single "King Without a Crown" was a Top 40 hit in the United States. Since 2004, he has released seven studio albums as well as five live albums, two remix CDs and two DVDs featuring live concerts. What We Discuss: Matisyahu's journey from Orthodox Judaism to a balanced spiritual approach The impact of October 7th on Jewish identity and unity Challenges facing Jewish artists in the current political climate Balancing family life with a music career Struggles with addiction and the path to recovery The use of cannabis and its role in Matisyahu's life Finding authenticity in the music industry Reflections on fame, success, and personal growth The creation of the song "Ascent" and its powerful message The importance of self-acceptance and embracing imperfections Navigating career challenges and adapting to industry changes …and more! Thank you to our sponsors: Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout.  Find more from Jen:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen   Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Matisyahu: Website: https://matisyahuworld.com/  Instagram: @matisyahu  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/matisyahu  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@matisyahu

Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. You're very special, Mondasoway, because we never do it like this. We never really do Zoom. Thank you for doing that. I appreciate it. No, it's my pleasure. It's my pleasure. I think you're fantastic. I love your music. I'm a big fan of yours. And I went to see you in LA. I think it was a few, I guess by now probably a month ago. That's right. Right.

And you are so good. Thank you. You're so welcome. Do you do podcasts a lot? Cause I was like, when I was Googling around to see, you know, some stuff on you, there hasn't been very many. No, I've only done a few. You've only done a few.

Okay. So I feel very honored to have you. So thank you for joining us today. Sure. Well, I've only done a few. You've only done a few. Okay. So I feel very honored to have you. So thank you for joining us today. Sure. Well, where to begin? Let's start with like, you know, maybe a lot of my audience may or may not be very familiar with you. So let's just start with just saying who you are.

You are an exceptional artist who blends reggae, hip hop, rock, and very inspiring music, very spiritual, exceptionally talented. Your name is obviously Matzah Jiahu. Where did you even get that name? Was that like a nickname when you were a child? What was, how did that kind of even start? That was my name in Hebrew school because my English name is Matthew. And so that's just what they said like, okay, Matthew is Matzah Jiahu And are you, can I just ask you, because I know that you were an Orthodox Jew, I knew, did you leave it and come back? Are you still an Orthodox Jew?

Yeah, I wasn't raised Orthodox. And then I became Orthodox when I was like 20 or 21, and was like Hasidic for maybe 10, 12 years, and then kind of like, I became, I guess, not religious. And yeah,, I guess, not religious. And yeah, so I'm no longer religious. You're not at all. Not like, maybe it becomes like, you know, question, what is religious, what is religion and all of those things. But with just, you know, just like pretty, like, I don't like believe that I don't believe

in like any dogmas. And I don't like I love aspects of tradition and spirituality and blah, blah, blah, and Judaism and all of that. But I don't ascribe to the idea that there's something specific that God really wants from us. That's so interesting because like you said, you weren't born an Orthodox Jew, but you are a Bat-shuva. Is that called Bat Shuba right when you

become yet. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What made you change after becoming an Orthodox Jew? What made you reverse back to or become would you say you're atheist now that would be your. No, I'm not an atheist. Like I believe in God, but I just don't believe that... I don't really believe in... I guess if you're religious, you believe that... If you're a religious Jew, for example, you believe that the Torah was given to Moses on Mount Sinai, and you believe that the rabbis, the original rabbis who made laws around that Torah, you ascribe to those particular rules. And so that's what I don't necessarily believe when I say that. I don't

believe like God wants something from us. I don't mean that he doesn't want something. I mean, but I think that it's up for grabs. It's up for interpretation always when it comes to God. It's like, you know, what does God want? Does he want? Does he not want? Is it he? Is it she? Is it like all these very ethereal questions, but when you bring them down into the practicality of religion and they're like, they're basically rules that are, you know, just there, whatever, laws and such, you know, that's where I kind of like don't, I believe that there's like a discord between like man and God. And that's specifically what religion comes to try to do is like make that connection between man and God through, mainly through laws and rules.

Was there like a particular incident that kind of happened in your life that made you, that kind of gave you that evolution where you wanted to go back or stop practicing to that level? Or is it just like an overall evolution and lots of little things happen? Yeah, my life has been like an evolution and every aspect and every stage of it from the time I was a teenager. So, you know, I I stayed in the religious world for quite a long amount of time, all of my 20s and my early 30s. And I absorbed a lot of it. But even when I was in that world, I was evolving in different ways. At one point, I was mainly just learning Chabad and I was living

in Crown Heights and just completely surrounded by Chabad. And then at some point I started learning Breslov Chasidis and changing even like the way that I looked, you know, when you think of like all different evolution, different stages or whatever, there's usually like physical connection to that for me. So, yeah, so it's always what life has evolved. But when you kind of like make that decision to say like, okay, there's an ultimate truth and I'm going to live by it. And you dedicate like so much time and energy into like that, that way of being way of living, then it gets like this for a lot of people in terms of on any level when they're evolving.

But it becomes like pretty hard to go back on it all. Like to say like, okay, I don't believe this is ultimate truth, even though I've dedicated like the last decade of my life to it. And, you know, I have kids who are religious, and I married a religious person and you know, all those things. So, you know, it becomes hard and a lot of people don't want to, even if they don't necessarily like buy into the whole thing anymore, they don't want to question or shake the boat too much. But for me, there was definitely a period of time where over a period of years that I felt that something wasn't right and something was off about it.

And then what happened is, and I know that your show is kind of like a health show, so this kind of fits, but I think it is at least, but about like healthy living and stuff like that, right? It's more like it is, there's a lot of it's about habits and, and rituals to be super successful. So awesome. A lot of entrepreneurs, it's a lot of entrepreneurs, people who are optimizing their life. Yeah, it's so interesting. Yeah. So yeah, I have lots of talk about that. But basically, what was I saying at that point when you were saying that a lot of people Oh, health. I was, I was getting it. Yeah, but when it came to

health, I had some kind of like stomach issue, like I had some kind of something going on with my stomach. And like whenever I ate, I would like wouldn't feel well. And I had some kind of something going on with my stomach and like whenever I ate, I would like wouldn't feel well. And I decided to get into macrobiotics. So this is while I was, this is while I was religious and I was living in LA and I completely changed my diet and then like took out obviously all of the obvious things like nicotine and alcohol and even like smoking weed and caffeine, but was not eating sugar or processed foods and was only eating like brown rice and like seaweed for like months. And then I would have to eat it like in a room by myself and like chew

the food 30 times, like because I guess I was coming from a religious place and the person I connected with was pretty hardcore and religious about it, and the rules about it. So I really bought into it and did it. And so I would eat this bowl of rice in my office, in my house. And the kids were pretty young or they were out at school. And I don't know, I just would chew this rice. And I also had a cyst on my vocal cord so I had to be on complete vocal silence. I was like, my voice teacher had me not talking at all, not even to my family, my kids or my wife. So during that time period, I started to begin to feel really, really sensitive, not in a

bad way, like in a really good way, like in a way to all these different shades of emotions that I would have and to the world. And I started to become kind of like super spiritual after all these years of like praying like hours and hours a day and like doing all this shit. And that was really that, you know, I had been in therapy for a while and that I sort of felt like I found the kind of inner like love for myself and happiness that I had been looking for when I became religious. So I would say that was sort of part of it, you know, because that was sort of part of it,

because I was sort of like, felt like I had found it and it wasn't through the rules or the religion, it was through like eating brown rice and not talking. Totally the antithesis of what everyone I think would probably think you do, because you're so probably think you do because you're so like you're so known for having such like you, your music is very influenced by like the Jewish faith and like you're very spiritual and you're very profound in your lyrics and everything and you would think that it was all these other things that kind of got you to that place. Who would have thought it was food? That was, I would say like the final piece of it, you know, the inner piece. But all

of the years of studying and doing what we call his bonus was his meditation. And I would do different in different parts of my life, I would do different things. I would do these walking meditations for a while while I was on tour. And I would learn the Sosittis and then these ideas, you know, really spiritual ideas. And then I would be on tour and I would learn the schistitis and then these ideas, you know, it's really spiritual ideas. And then I would be on tour and I would, you know, just be by myself or whatever. So I would just go for these like long walks and I would meditate on the ideas that I was thinking about. And it was powerful, it's powerful stuff. And it built my whole entire sort of like way of looking at the world and seeing things. So I definitely think that all that work and like energy and that entire phase of my life was hugely important and still is like even especially like now with post October 7th,

I believe there's like what we call like a paradigm shift where it's no longer about like religion or not religion. It's like Jewish and you either feel connected to your Jewish roots and being Jewish or you don't. You're afraid of it or you don't feel connected to it. So in some ways you see this like unity happening, which is much more like on a big scale of unification or disconnect, but the idea of these little pockets of religious communities that live in places and then it's so important,

do you keep Shabbos, do you not keep Shabbos, do you eat this, do you not eat that? All of that kind of falls away now after October 7th and it's just like, okay, we're under attack, so are we all here together or are you not? That's the question. I'm so glad that you said that because, you know, that's really why I really wanted to speak with you because you've been one of the Jewish people like myself, who's been very outspoken for obvious reasons of what's happened on October 7. Is it surprising to you that more Jewish people have been silenced and that what has happened,

the amount of hate and vitriol that's been thrown our way is happening? Or did you kind of expect this to be the way it is? Well, there's two things. So like for me, this started like 10 years ago, around 2014, 2015, I got boycotted by the BDS and thrown off a festival in Spain. And I think I was like the first American Jew that that's happened to. It had been happening to Israelis for years and years, not just musicians, but speakers and all types of Israelis that want to find work outside of Israel that are outspoken have had that issue.

So I felt it back then and I was way less prepared when I was 45 now. So I guess I was 35, it was 10 years ago, right? At that time period in my life, I was a lot like more reading comments online. And like now at this stage, I know what to do, what not to do and the buffers I need to have. But at that time I was pretty new still.

So I was just like, you know, it was painful for me. And then I immediately saw support from Jews like worldwide when that happened. I mean, basically, I didn't even mention it. I was just like, okay, fine. They wanted me to sign something that I was like against Israel. And I was like, no. And then they threw like threw me off and like patted themselves on the back and posted about it. And then basically, Jews went like crazy whole world, not the world, but the Jewish community went crazy. And within 20 hours, the Spanish government was telling them if they didn't offer me an apology, they were closing the festival down basically. Backers were pulling out money.

So that shows you the difference between 10 years ago and now, right? Like now that's just happening left and right to all of us constantly. And it's totally like that's the new norm. So that's in terms of expecting it, it's kind of, I've kind of felt like it's kind of been happening slowly, but now obviously it's like a different level. And then in terms of Jews speaking up, I think, you know, in America, being Jewish for some people is important. And for a lot of people, like the majority of American Jews, it's just not important. It just wasn't ever important, right? Like unless you grew up in an Orthodox world or you had parents who love Israel or

you had some went to a Holocaust museum and that like deeply affected you. But very few people are like modest Yahoo just like went on the Jewish journey. You know what I mean? I went I was in New York City. I was 20 years old. I have 20 years old and I felt this like existential loneliness that I couldn't escape from music or drugs or anything else.

And I was just like, I'm going back to my roots. I'm going to discover what Judaism is. And then I went all the way, you know, to Meisharim literally, you know, and then back again. So I don't know very many people like that. I know a few people, but the majority of Jews just grew up in like reformed Jewish households where, you know, until like Seinfeld came along or Larry David, like they literally had no connection to being Jewish. So why is it that all of a sudden all these Jews who we know are Jewish, but like, why would they care?

We just assume that when we're under attack, like the Jewish spark inside of you, like lights up and then like someone like me, there's no question. It's not like, should I post this? Should I not post this? It's like my family, like babies are being held hostage. Like of course, this is what I'm gonna post This is all I can think about or talk about but you know So you see it's not about religion because you have lots of non-religious Jews out there who?

Have that same reaction that I have the Michael Rapoport send it Brett Gellman's and Montana Tucker's, you know We're just boom all of a sudden their Jewish flame is ignited. And that's something that happens naturally to some people. And then you've got all these other Jews who were probably, I assume, just like, it never meant anything to me now, I've never been to Israel. What does any of this have to do with like my career? And just like, hope that no one knows that they're ZAP! They're Jewish, you know? Yeah, yeah. I mean, or else they have to be in uncomfortable situations where they deep down know that there's something wrong with this, but their husband or their wife or their best friends

or whatever are attacking them for being Jewish, basically. What are your thoughts on this? I imagine that's probably what's going on. And then they right away probably have to be like, oh, I'm on the side of Palestine just to get people off their back. I would think that's what's going on there. I don't know. So, I mean, that's a good point. I mean, I agree with you. I think America for sure, especially California, Los Angeles, very much it's a reform. Most people who are Jewish

here are reform. I'm Canadian, so I grew up much more of a conservative household. And I think to your point, because my parents, my mom's Israeli, and it was so important for my family, right, let's say, that even though my Jewishness was really kind of dormant in me, when this whole thing happened October 7, it did kind of ignite again. But I think what you're, I think you're actually very accurate, which is the fact that if it wasn't really in your life and your parents didn't care, it's so diluted, you're such a diluted Jew that like, this is not that, it doesn't inspire the same angst, you know?

Maybe you went to Yom Kippur like once to know, once to a couple of times, or you went to like a Sunday school or something, and it was like, you didn't wanna be there, Like, you know, I mean, basically, there was no inspiration in Judaism for Americans, unless it came from someone or something or some specific thing, or you were kind of different, you know. No, it's 100% true. So then like, what about the fact that what happened though, was so clearly a massacre on the Jewish people, right? Like, the fact that we happened though was so clearly a massacre on the Jewish people, right?

Like the fact that we have to defend ourselves for defending ourselves, the Jewish people have to defend themselves for defending themselves. To me, this is where I find there such a disconnect because that is a clear, that's clear anti-Semitism right there. Right? We were attacked. Yeah, it has to be. There's no other answer for it.

This is just the moment when everyone who has any ounce of anti-Semitic blood in them is like, this is my moment to fucking give it to the Jews. That's what it has to be because it makes no sense. I mean, like you said, I mean, you just like, how to just, okay, if they had only attacked on October 7th, the military base, even though they were attacking women and even though they were raping those women, some people, not myself, but some people could make an argument saying that it was a military base, but the fact that they attacked civilians and families and children and women and the things that they did in those homes where they roasted babies in ovens in front

of their mothers and tortured children in front of their parents, I mean, that level of atrocity deserves a fucking massive, massive retaliation. And we've been dealing with this forever and it's time to end it. And that's how I think any Jew with any kind of like feeling of being Jewish that these were their people that were attacked would feel that way. And you know, I mean, this is not just military, you know, these are, these are, you know, it's beyond that. And then then you can get into the history and you know, who deserves to be there and

all that. And but you know, all of that you can argue. But if you can say that like there's any reason why one group of humans can treat another group of humans that way, then then you're, you're anti semitic. There's no there's no way to two ways about it. You know, you don't care about Jewish lives. That's what it is. No, I agree. But even if you are a reformed Jew, right, and you

see this happening, how to not say something? Like to be, like now more than ever, I mean, it really just ignites, it really just gets me at a place. I get so infuriated when I see so many people who have platforms who couldn't at least say something. Maybe they don't have to be hardcore like me or maybe you. Not just choose, like anyone who saw what happened, who knows what happened.

How is it not talked about? How is no one in the music industry outside of Scooter Braun talk about November 7th? How does no one talk about October 7th? How does no one talk about what, like that we still have hostages? Like that whole all eyes on Rafa thing. Like where are our hostages in Rafa? Like by the way, that just infuriates me. Like all eyes on Rafa. Well, give us back our hostages in Rafa. By the way, that just infuriates me. All eyes on Rafa.

Well, give us back our hostages. But not to- Who started this? And let me ask you, would America or any country allow another group to come over its border, attack its civilians, take them back to their, make them hostages in tunnels and not totally demolish them and not destroy them

I mean what like I don't know that you know, it just it makes it makes no sense because it's because it's hatred and anti-semitism That's all there and that's that's the only that's the art And our generation has just been so like lucky we've been the luck, you know up until now We've been the lucky generation post-holocaust, who post-generation, two generations already, that has grown up in this golden era of you can be Jewish and it doesn't matter and you don't have to tell anyone or ever think about really the fact that you're Jewish. It's just maybe on Hanukkah, you'll make a decision. Maybe you're going to get a Christmas tree. I don't know. That's what a lot of Jews do. But it's like, you know, that's just

the way it is, I guess, you know, it's like, it's not, I don't know, I lost my train of thought there. By the way, but that's not okay, if that's the way it is. In my opinion, that's not okay that that is the way it is. And, you know, I feel like the fact that, you know, you were saying even 10 years ago, when you got canceled from that big festival in Spain and you know they had to do an apology and all these things cut to recently when I was at your show um you know I'm sorry I know what I was gonna say I just want to finish that one point just that um just that for our generation like we've had we haven't really had

to face anything like it so it it's, that's why it's so mind boggling for us. It's like, I think if you talk like our grandparents or like, you know, any other generation from like hundreds and hundreds of years ago, you know, they would be like, Oh yeah, you know, like, this is, this is what happens. Of course, this is what happens. But for us, it's like our entire lives in our experience of what we know, this is not what we know. So that's why it's so like crazy for us to wrap our heads around it, you know. And devastating.

Has it brought you by the way, I mean, closer to Judaism where you are maybe doing more things traditionally than it has? Absolutely it has. I mean, the moment this happened, I was like, you know, like we were saying like Judaism became less important in my life. And even the notion of God and focusing so much about about God became less important. And the last 10 years of my life have been more about just being a human in this world. You know, I kind of like came to terms with the fact like, at some point when I was young, I was like, you know, part of my becoming Hasidic was sort of anti-American in a way, or just

like anti like whatever is the norm, you know, it was this rebellious attitude that I'm not happy with this world and what's around me and I'm making different choices to live my life a different type of way. And over the years, I became like very accepting and happy about like this country that I live in that supports me, where I go from literally from city to city across America. And I perform for my fans and I've gotten to know those people and, you know, and play these venues and be in these towns and these cities, you know, on tour, you know, 200 days a year for 20 years now. And I've played in Europe and other countries and stuff, but this has been where I've done it on a tour bus driving across all over America.

And I've begun to feel very connected to it. And even in terms of my own culture of who I am, I just began to just come back to, okay, what are the things that I liked as a kid? Okay, so I watched ice hockey and I liked to barbecue, you know? And I've become very American, you know, in a way, and very much less focused on Judaism. Now in my music and in my spirituality, I still get into that, and that still is like the background for the music I create. I'm not writing songs about barbecuing.

I'm writing songs about still things that I feel are important. Being a husband, being a father, ups and downs, addiction, loneliness, all the different things in my life that have come up and gone on, but much less just about God. Or how important is it to be Jewish? I kind of felt like for all these years that I was on the road where I was religious, it kept me from really integrating with people, with my band members. When they would all go out for dinner, I was in my hotel room with plastic kosher food or when people were going out or whatever. I always isolated myself and I started

to feel like the way that this religion was set up basically was to separate and that's all good and fine if you have a community, but if you're just out in the world living in the world and you have to do that, it's just going to isolate you. And so when I sort of like became like less religious or whatever and started going out to restaurants with people and connecting more with humans and with the world around me and felt that that was like the next phase for me. That's the next evolution is like coming down off the mountaintop, like integrating into the world. I did a lot of health stuff. I did a lot of psychedelics and I kind of really climbed the mountaintop and now and

religion and all of those things. I have six kids and you know, now it's really about how do I integrate everything and make sure it doesn't all fall apart basically and keep it on solid ground. And so, but getting back, sorry for this long like, like speech or whatever, but- No, no, I like it. It's interesting. You have six kids- It's like I'm talking to a therapist. Yeah. That's okay. People have called kids. It's like I'm talking to a therapist, yeah. That's okay. People have called you the worst than a therapist. But basically then after October 7th, all of a sudden that's like playing at a reggae festival in Vegas.

And like that morning, my son's in Israel and I'm like walking around backstage and I'm like, how is anything really relevant? I need to find who's another Jewish artist that's here. What can we do? What can we post? What can we collaborate? Bring an Israeli flag up on stage. Now all of a sudden it's like, okay, I'm going to Israel. Okay, I've got to see what happened. Okay, now the connection and the special feeling that I got over there. Now, okay, I did my tour. I'm going back to Israel right after the tour, playing more shows and doing stuff there. And I want to release a record there. Now, okay, I did my tour. I'm going back to Israel right after the tour, playing more shows and doing stuff there. And I want to release a record there. And I'm meeting people there and connecting over there. And when I'm back here now, okay, I've

decided because there's so many Jewish fans that are showing up to the shows, I'm not playing Friday night shows anymore, even though I've been playing on Shabbos for years. Okay, so taking that out. Okay, Friday nights, I'm not weekends. I'm not Friday and Saturday, I'm trying to put my phone down, not work. The connection that I'm feeling with other Jews, the desire to be together, to pray together, to do anything to eat together. All of this is why I say it supersedes religion. It goes, all of a sudden it's no longer about religion. It's about Jewishness, kind of. And I think even religious people see that, which is something that has always been a boundary, I think.

I will say, when I went to your show here, I was really surprised and shocked because I've always loved your music. I loved that song, One Day. I loved that album with your obvious, King Without a Crown, the Youth album. a crown, you know, the youth album. And then, you know, like life happens and you kind of just like move on to other people and you forget that I forgot that I really liked you back then. Do you know what I mean?

And then I go to your show and I've never experienced what I experienced at your show. The kind of feeling of unity and love that came from that show was really like unbelievable and remarkable to me. You can feel a different energy in the crowd than you would at any other show. And when you brought the Israeli flag and you brought the Holocaust survivors on the show, like how you kind of did that was so moving in a way that I was, that's why I'm like, oh my God, I need to get to this guy and have him on this podcast

and get to know, like do some kind of collaboration because I think that you really do represent them. When I was like looking and observing how other people were experiencing the show, like from the outside, you really represent this beacon of light for the Jewish people. That's what it seemed like to me, like more than anybody else, because it was really amazing. Like kudos to that and bravo to you because I really believe that you are like a beacon of light for the Jewish people. Thank you.

No, it's absolutely the truth. And I would have thought like when I watched you, it felt like so sincere and earnest. And like I said, like I felt like, you know, I was curious with all this happening with you, what has been the reaction response for you with your career? I know your show got canceled cut to 10 years later. Your shows were getting canceled here in the US and You know, they said it was for safety reasons And I guess my guess is it what no one had to make an apology to you 20 hours later Like they did it's a Spain festival, right and those shows were probably never re You know, I guess whatever happened basically that was that whole thing

never re- I guess, whatever happened basically, that whole thing. Well, I went on a tour and it was like 35 shows and three of them got canceled. Other ones got threatened to be canceled. We had protesters outside of like half of them. It was the first time that obviously I've gone through anything like that on a night to night basis. I've got little kids on the tour bus and we had to get securities because people were cursing at them and my wife when they would try to walk to Like, you know, I've got little kids on the tour bus and we had to get securities because, you know, people were cursing at them and my wife when they would try to walk to the

stage or so there was, it was intense, but it's kind of, it's like, like you said, you know, this feeling of love and light, like that's there during the show. And you would have the juxtaposed with this like total hatred and anger outside as the fans were like funneling through the security line to get in and then it would just be like open up into this beautiful show. And I think part of that was the feeling that everyone had to have to go through that and to get through it. And that's like a microcosm for what we as Jewish people are going through.

And it's like being squeezed through the Mets or through Mitzrayim, you know? It's like the narrow thing, but you know, it brings us together. And then when we come through the other side, it's a strong amount of light to balance out that darkness that we all have inside of us. And you really see it on display, it really comes.

So it was a really powerful tour, even though some shows got canceled. And yeah, those shows that got canceled are unfortunate. And I'm still having shows to cancel them. I'm having a festival that I'm supposed to play. And they don't want to announce that I'm on the bill. Are you serious? Yeah, so that's the next one I'm dealing with right now.

But you know, I've gotten a lot of support from the Jewish community has really come together and I've gotten a lot of shows through the Jewish community. But it's yeah, that little network of shows of that little reggae kind of community that I was, was my bread and butter where I made most of my living on those festivals. I haven't gotten any of them this summer, zero, so. Wow. It sucks. Yeah, that does suck.

So would you say then that your business has hurt? Yeah, it's shifted. It shifted, like honestly, I mean, I'll always do the touring that I've done and, you know, we'll go to those venues and they'll either cancel or they won't. But if I have contracts with them, they're going to pay me. But in terms of like the all the festivals that I normally play in the summer, those seem to have gone away for now. And but I've gotten tons and tons of Jewish events and playing at the colleges and doing some for the Chabad and for some Jewish organizations and stuff like that. So that was something

I wasn't doing so much of recently before and I am now. Yeah. So basically your business, it's changed. So you may have, it's obviously hurt your core business, but now the Jews are all banning behind you and really giving kind of like, that's where your business, your bread and butter now is the Jewish community, not the reggae festival mainstream market. You got it. Exactly. A hundred percent. Yeah. And that's all shifted like in the last two, three months, basically. And like, you know, just again, infuriates me.

Not is the fact that then you have like Matthew Moore, who's had, you know, a couple of hits 10 years ago out there, you know, causing such vitriol and venom has such vitriol and venom towards the Jewish people and those crowds. Are you looking at those crowds that he has with people cheering him on? Do you see what happened in Germany? He's basically just, he's doing just, he's saying atrocious things about Jewish people. He's wearing a Jew mask.

You see that he put on like a curly wig, a big nose. Did you not see this? I saw that, but that's from years ago. That one, unless he did it again. He had to make an apology for that one. Well, it's all over social media today. I don't know. Oh my God.

I wonder if he broke it back out again. That would make sense. Go look at it. I wouldn't put it past him unless it just went viral again today for some reason. I think it's recent because he did say free Palestine. He says people have to be screaming free Palestine. So he put out a rap song that's just horrible. Just just totally filled with anti semitic, you know, stuff. And it's just like, yeah, it's horrible. Did you hear the remedy this track on Macklemore? No Okay, you have to listen to this. So remedy is I don't know if you know him

He's an original like one of the original members of the Wu Tang clan and he's Jewish He's he's like the only white member of Wu Tang Yeah, they had like their core members like the reason they choose it But then they had like the killabees and they had had this outer world of rappers and Remedy was part of that. And he put out a song, I want to say in the late 90s, maybe like 95 or 96, called Never Again about the Holocaust. And it's one of the songs that made me want to rap. At that time I would listen to a lot of Ph Fish and Bob Marley and stuff, but all my friends listen to rap music, but I didn't fully get it. And then I heard that

song and it's so powerful. So it's the most powerful song that I've ever heard about the Holocaust for sure. And he has been relatively silent like since then. Like he does not put out much, but he just released this video about the song the Macklemore song and like Responding to it and it's one of the the dopest You have to go listen to it and tell everybody about it I'm gonna write that down. Hold on. What's it? What's the song remedy? Yeah, just look up on his Instagram, Remedy.

R-E-M-E-D-Y, Remedy. I don't even know if he's got a blue check mark. It's so good, it's the song, it's so good. What's the call? There's a lot of people have done tracks, or not a lot, but there's a few Jewish rappers that have done, have responded to the Macklemore thing. I responded on TMZ. I didn't want to write a song about it, but I knew there would be people who would do a better job, but Remedy

just knocks it out of the park. It's incredible. I want to listen to that. Why don't you want to do a song about it? I think you'd be the perfect person. Well, like after the Kanye stuff happened, I also was like, oh, maybe I should do a song about it. I think you'd be the perfect person. Well, I kind of like after the Kanye stuff happened, I also was like, oh, maybe I should do a song about it. And I didn't push it. I just waited until like I had the right beat and the right moment. And then I wrote this song about anti-Semitism before October 7. And I released it recently. It's called Ascent. And I filmed a video in Israel at the site of the Nova Festival and the kibbutzim. And it's got Holocaust footage mixed into it. It's a very powerful piece.

Check it out. I'm going to definitely check that out. So what is your process then? You said you just wait. What do you do day to day now besides doing my podcast? Right now I'm not really making music because my manager quit on me during this tour. Yeah, he wanted me to change lyrics in my song because he felt they might be offensive or whatever. I said no and then he dropped me. So I'm managing myself with my wife, me and my wife and my friend Adam's kids helping

me who's awesome. But I'm on email and my phone like six, seven hours a day. But I also have a 13-year-old and a 17-year-old and then a four-year-old and a two-year-old that are currently in my house all the time. So I'm doing different aspects of fathering, you know, like, you know, 17 year old, you're like coaching them and trying to get them to like, be on top of their shit. Because my 17 year old isn't not really in high school, he does music and, and work so and he's getting his GD. And I'm just trying to like, help him through all

that. And then my 13 year old is like, you know, just going through what 13 year old, I guess boys and girls go through, just all the emotional stuff. That's a lot, but he's the middle child. Then I have a four and a two-year-old, and yes, I have all that. Oh my God. Yeah. I tour my ACL and my meniscus on like the third day of the tour

and I just haven't had time to go to a doctor. So like, so I've been like hobbling around for six months. Are you joking me right now? Oh my god, let me help you. Let me help you. First of all, there's lots of stuff here. I mean, I can unpack. No, no, no, no, I'm good. I don't need help, actually. You don't? It sounds like you're pretty, it sounds like you have a couple, you got a lot, a lot on your hands. So you have six kids. Does that mean you have two that live in Israel? Because I heard that some live. My 18 year old lives in Israel and then I have a 10 year old daughter who's in Oregon. Oh, how many times were you married, by the way? Once, twice. Well, once I have an ex-wife with three boys with, and then I have Sasha, who was someone

that I knew from years before her mom. And we didn't stay together. And then I got married. I met my wife seven years ago, and we got married five years ago. And we have a four-year-old and a two-year-old. Wow. And where do you live?

Do you live in LA? Because I thought you lived here. No, I live in New York, outside the city. Yeah, I used to live in LA, but I don't anymore. I lived for four years. Yeah, outside the city. Oh my gosh. Okay, so you have six kids, you're remarried, you don't your manager

dropped you. Are you looking for a new manager? Do you need help on the business side? No, I don't. I don't want to have another manager ever again. I've had a string of like, not good managers for my whole career. And they've taken a lot of money from me and not, you know, so I'm into doing it myself right now. And I've tried to do it myself before in the past, but it just a lot of work. So, you know, I have some help now have my wife and my friend Adam was awesome. So I think we're going to be in good shape here and not have to pay 15% of my gross to a manager.

Exactly. And that I think Adam DM me, is that what's his last name? Weinberg. Yeah, I think I got a DM from him nothing to do with this podcast, by the way. Oh, really? Yeah, totally nothing to do with the but who is he is? Does he have business like, does he understand the music space? And yeah, Adam is like he he went to Wash U and was one of the first people that brought me out of Yeshiva to play a show. And my band got snowed

in because he was Shabbos, so he plays guitar and ended up playing the show with me. So he's my guitar player when I'm on the sometimes. He's not when I play my band shows usually it's Aaron Dugan, but who's my original guitar player from like when I was in college. But Adam plays like all the acoustic shows for me. He's Jewish and he knows the Jewish world well so he kind of like deals with he's my agent who deals with all my Jewish gigs and has for years for me even though I had like my agent at Paradigm or whatever I had Adam doing the Jewish stuff for me which is like 90% of it now. And he also, his main job is he is, him and his partner do Andre Bocelli's production and they're his agent in the United States.

So he's well qualified and my best friend like in the world. So someone I trust and he just has been like there for me, like, especially now at this time, he just like really stepped up. So yeah, it's been great. That part's been working out good. How do you feel? How do you kind of transition or do you even want to transition back to the festivals, the actual work that was basically your bread and butter, like not just the whole Jewish echo chamber.

Do you want to even go back to the regular way? How do you go back to that? Is there like a plan in place or you just don't think it's possible right now or? No, like I think it's possible. I mean, I actually got like a couple offers off for next summer for some reggae festivals. So some promoters are still like cool and they're not being affected by it and they're

still doing it. And then some basically, I'm still booking tours because my fans are going to come to the shows, you know what I'm saying? So it's like the festivals is you're playing in front of people who may or may not be your fan or they may know one day or they may know King Without a Crown, but they are not like fans that I live with my music for the last 20 years or for a real portion of time. And those people, there's like about a thousand of them in every single city in America. There's not 5,000 of them anywhere, but there's a thousand of them in Omaha, Nebraska.

There's a thousand of them in Boise, Idaho. There's a thousand of them in LA. And that's what I do. I just book, I'm booking tours now. I'm booking an acoustic tour in November and a West Coast tour in December. And I'll play those thousand app rooms and my fans will come out most likely and be like pretty stoked. Totally.

I mean, you've got a new, old but new back band in your corner. Awesome. No, seriously. And then tell me about your day to day. So like you have all these kids, your house sounds like it's like the Brady Bunch over there with all the kids and the people. You want my daily schedule? Well, I'll sounds like it's like the Brady Bunch over there with all the kids and the people. You want my daily schedule?

Well, I'll give you today's. So what like my son, my two-year-old wakes up at like three or four and comes to our bed somehow, he like regressed. We had him like in a crib and we put him in a bed and now he comes to the room at like three or four and was just like kicks me out of the bed from like four till like 530 until I like snap on him. Then he like crawls over to his mother and then my daughter comes in the room at like seven and they are both passed back out, my wife and the two-year-old.

And then we like tiptoe out of the room and go downstairs and we like, I hang out with her and I make a coffee and roll a joint. You and your daughter or you or your wife? I'm confused. No, no, just me like while my daughter's watching TV or I prepared her a little breakfast or whatever and I let the dogs out. I have like a border collie that's super OCD and like, you know, I don't put them on leashes. Like we live kind of a little bit in the woods at the end of like a block. So I just like open the door and they all, two Bijan Poodles and a

border collie, they go chase squirrels for like 20 minutes and then come back. And then everyone comes downstairs. My 13-year-old, I take them to school either like on my motorcycle or I drive him or my 17-year-old drives him or my wife drives him and the babysitter now we have a babysitter which is like a huge huge thing we didn't have that for like months and months and months and it was it was horrible but we do now so she comes at 10 and she's got the kids and then I come like downstairs to this like little office kind of thing. Oh okay yeah. That's for the tray.

I like it. Oh look at that drums. Yeah. Yeah oh. Okay, yeah. That's for the tray. I like it. Oh, look at that. Drums. Yeah. Oh yeah, I got drums. And there's like a little outdoor area and there's like, I live on the side of a hill so I have like a little bench set up and I just like, I just as hard as it is for me because I'm not that guy. I just like focus on my phone and just start going through emails and making calls and I do that and then I forget to eat. What time is it? It's like 430. So I haven't eaten, but like my wife will bring me down like some carrot juice. Or like my son will bring me like, yeah, I'll

just drink like, I've started drinking this reishi coffee. It's like this mushroom coffee that's supposed to lower your cholesterol. The company is called Rise. I don't know. We'll see how it works. But I just went to the doctor for like the first time in eight years and my cholesterol is not so hot. It's not so hot.

Yeah, so not so hot. So yeah, I'll be down here doing this till like till around now and then I'll go upstairs and make a cocktail and maybe cook something like a piece of fish on the grill, like a piece of halibut. I'll get really into cooking for like 40 minutes. We're like, I want to be fired. And then I'll have the kids running around and it'll be chaos. And then eventually, we'll sort of eat between five and seven, I guess, sometime.

And then my wife will go bathe the kids and I'll watch hockey. I'll watch the like the playoffs are on right now. Well, there's no game today, but like this last week or whatever. I'll watch hockey and I'll for sure fall asleep by the second period. Like usually during the intermission between first and second period, but sometimes I'll make it like halfway through second period. Then I'll close up the house and like go up and like, and then I'll either like hang out with my wife a little fall asleep or like somehow like wake up and then like just start thinking about all kinds of crazy shit for like hours. And then I'll just like go outside, smoke another joint on the porch and then try to

go back to sleep. But not every night, you know, some nights like that. But the other night that happened and it was three o'clock in the morning and I live like right above this trail and like I'm on a deck like a porch and I like hear this noise. And when people go by the trail, you can hear it if they're on like an electric bike or if it's a deer or if it's someone walking like you. I know by now, I've only lived here for a few months, but I know by now like the sounds of the different things that pass on the trail. And this was something I've never heard. Like it was low and loud. And then the next day on the chat, on the WhatsApp chat, they're like black bear hanging out like in the neighborhood. Oh, wow.

Yeah, like a black bear walked right by me and I didn't like it was pitch black. So I couldn't see anything. Oh my god, that's so scary. Yeah. But I think black bears are aren't like so scary. I mean, they're big. It's scary enough. I don't want to see a black bear in front of my face. That's that's for sure So in this day in your daily daily life, I don't hear any exercise I don't you know, you're you're vaping over there. Yeah, it's true

Okay, listen there I left out some pieces like for an hour and a half this morning I took I have two air blowers like, you know, like like blowers, you know leaf blowers Yeah Yeah and I like blew all the dirt from like everywhere around the house and like cleaned everything like OCD, like all the different areas and like the kids play zone like on the porch and like emptied out the pool water and you know, and

like, you know, try to got rid of a hornet's nest. So I did that. And then I have a bench weights like in the garage. And so I just go and do like a rep in between while I'm charging the thing. And then I'm like, do we say I got to go back to the garage, I get a rep in and then I go, I my son offered me to go running with him, but I don't know yet that I should run on this knee. So that's really running has been my go to. I did do Pilates for 40 minutes yesterday on a TV screen. My wife does Pilates, so she'll like pop it on the TV. And so I did do like 40 minutes of Pilates, which is really...

So I'm, you know, I am trying to make strides on the health. This thing is horrible, but you know... That's horrible. But like, is that because you don't want to smoke? So that's your like, that's your go-to? Yeah, I smoked. I always smoked. And then I had periods of time where I didn't smoke, where I was healthier. And then the last time I quit, I had quit for like almost probably six months or a year or something.

And then someone like passed me a jewel and that was it. And I've been vaping like for like four years. Like, yeah, it's hard. Wow. I'm just not, I'm just not ready to make that stuff and just quit. Hopefully I will. It's a shame on that person. Yeah. Well, okay. Well, at least you're not smoking cigarettes. Yeah, that's true.

Baby steps. So you smoke like how many joints would you say you smoke a day? One joint, two joints? Me? Yeah. How many joints would you say you smoke a day? One joint, two joints? Me? Yeah. I smoke about, let's see here. I've tried to figure this out before. I believe that I smoke approximately seven grams of weed a day.

Seven grams of weed a day. Would that be like an equivalent to like a big, huge joint or like- No, that would be like seven joints seven joints wow and so are you not really big joints like not like big bob marley joints like like like you know not king size like you know like are you high right now talking to me no and this is like the longest that i've done without smoking today because i was i really didn't want to smoke during this podcast.

I made a point of like, I don't, maybe I shouldn't smoke weed on this. Usually I do. Wow. So this is, I feel so honored that you're sober. Yeah. I wasn't going to vape either, but I was like, this, I got vape, I have to vape. When I talk, I'm like, yeah, but I am no, no, no. I, I, so I don't really get high.

That's the thing. So like, if you are a person who smokes smokes weed like once a week or something, and then you like smoke a joint, you are going to get like super high if it's like some good weed, right? So when you have a tolerance and you smoke that much weed, it's just kind of like having a coffee or something. You don't ever get, I can't get high like you can get high. You know what I'm saying? Like even if I smoke like the strongest weed in the, like so much of it, it wouldn't really get me high. Like

so I smoke like a little joint, it kind of like relaxes me and I like the way it makes me feel. And that's pretty much it. That's what I've come to, you know, for a long time in my life, I fought that like I fought it for a long time. I've always loved weed. And from the very beginning, my parents were like, no, and it was a thing from day one. And depending on like, again, where I was, like when I became religious, shh, shh, silence.

Come on, you know how easily I get distracted. Wanna meet my 17 year old? Sure. How's he going? Hi, nice to meet you. He's an artist, his name is Dove Bear. Oh, nice. Dove Bear. Dove Bear. I'm Jennifer. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. You want a drink? Yeah. What is he getting you? A drink. Oh, what kind of drink? So what kind of drink is this? Is it like

a carrot juice or? This is fresh watermelon juice. Oh, okay. Okay. My wife squeezed. Yeah, I try not to drink all day. During COVID, I sort of became an alcoholic and I got into white-claw. Like I'm not a, I don't like alcohol and I've drank like in my life, I would drink before a show or I've definitely had my drunk moments, but not like on a daily basis. In Chabad and the religion, you drink a lot, you know, at certain times, but not ever daily. And then during COVID I like, I found White Claws and then I just started drinking like a case a day of them. Yeah.

Joking? No, like a case I would start drinking them at like 11 a.m. and then I would just drink like Gwendo one an hour until I would get like really tired. Are you joking? By the way, White Claw is like the worst. It's horrible. It's horrible. I don't drink them. I don't drink them anymore. Thank God I stopped. But yeah, I did have that like little phase going on. But um.

Are you better now though? Like are you not drinking it? No, I drink every day, but I don't, I don't drink that much. I have like two drinks. I have like two. You're an alcoholic or no? A functional alcoholic. I drink like two to four drinks a like two. Would you say you're an alcoholic or no? A functional alcoholic. I drink like two to four drinks a day. So I don't know, is that out? That seems like an American to me.

It seems like American. Listen, you're talking to somebody who doesn't drink, right? So for me, four drinks a day. Yeah, there's a lot of functional alcohol. I think there's actually a big percentage of people who are functional alcoholics out there. I don't think you're the only one. No, definitely not. So the weed, alcohol, those are my kind of nicotine are my demons,

but I definitely, I definitely for years fought myself on the weed thing. And like I said, I had long periods of time, years where I would, a year or two years, I would say would be the longest amount of time that I didn't smoke weed for. But then I would like smoke for maybe three, four months and then quit again. And I spent so much energy fighting myself on it. And then at some point I just sort of said, I just love weed, I'm going to smoke weed and I'm not going to use that as an excuse to not do the things that I know I should do. So I'm not going to use it as an excuse to go do this or go do that. I'm just going to make it part of my life and work with it.

It's sort of a handicap, but I kind of like, this was the place that I came to after being super healthy and like really in touch. I made this realization that I cannot, like, it's not realistic for me to think really that I can keep that up. It's just not who I am, like, as a person. Right. I like your honesty. So I can fight myself.

I can fight myself like back and forth on it and have times where I am or I'm not. But at the end of the day, for me, it's not like a realistic place for me to live in. So more like accept the parts of myself and the things that are, I know I'm not like necessarily the greatest version of myself, but I came to terms with that. And I still think I'm like pretty can function and do like a lot of great shit and without half of the like stress that I used to have. So I don't necessarily recommend it. Like I don't tell my kids to do that. You know, it's sort of like it just, I kind of feel like it could

be a stage might be something I grow out of evolve out of, but it's sort of like my mid 40s stage. Yeah. Well, you're very self accepted. Yeah. So I mean, a couple of things is interesting. Number one, I can do you ever wonder how amazing you would be if you actually kind of were able to manage these hindrances in your life? Right? Like if you're if you're this functional now, how much more optimized? Yeah, but I'm not I'm not interested. Right. But that's my point. Yeah, thing is like, I do get it because I have lived at that level before and it's awesome. It's fucking awesome. But like, so it's, but it's just not I know, I just don't think that it that it's, I don't know. It's worth it. Because you're not doing it being you.

It's yeah, it's awesome. Exactly. It's it's a different version. It's not that it's not being me. It's like it's like the high version It's like the the race car version of my elevated version. It's like the race car version It's like the super pro like Tuned in just perfectly like, you know, like an engine that's like high tuned like but it's just You know, I mean, maybe I'll do it again, you know, I don't know, but it takes a lot of fucking work to do that. And yeah, I mean, it really does.

Maybe I'll get back to that. I mean, my sort of excuse for what I say is like balance, you know, so I needed like some balance and now I'll work towards getting back to that in a way that's more integrated maybe, you know, for the long run, you know. Or by the way, like, where are you happier? Like if you're happier, like being who you are and doing the things you like, who's to say that you have to live this like souped up Ferrari version, right?

Like if you're happy being, you know, Mercedes C-Class versus Bugatti. So that's the thing, That's like, that's the mind exercise there. Right? It is. It's a mind exercise. It is. And that's kind of the way I look at it. I'm really good at justifying my behavior. We all are. We all are very good at justifying our behavior. But I'm an expert. I mean, I think, yeah, I think basically, basically like you said, like, you have to see where you're happier.

And am I happier now than I was then? It's a lot of things have changed in my life. You know, I have a partner now. I never had that in my life. And I have someone that I'm like in love with who's, you know, a handful. And we struggle from time to time. But someone who's got my back

for real, for real, and has helped me organize my life and helped me through worse things than alcohol. And basically, when you have that, it kind of changes everything a little bit. And you have my family and my kids, and know it became like less about me I guess and in that focusing on everybody else a little bit more I felt it's less like I went to the family car if we're going to use the car the car version it's like you know it's maybe it's not a Ferrari but it's more of like a you know know, a Buick fucking station wagon. It's like the family truckster, like the Clark Griswold vacation station wagon.

Yeah. For me, I'm looking for like a, maybe like a Mercedes or an Audi station wagon. Have you seen those? Those are beautiful. Yeah, those are very nice. They're very nice. That's kind of where I'm at right now. You know, I get it. That's why I said originally I said the Mercedes C-Class.

You're not at the AMG level, but you're still a Mercedes, but it's just a lower version. So the last car that I had was a CLS 450, which is C-Class, but I guess, but it's like a really nice C-Class. It's a nice C-Class, yeah. And it was the AMG version, so I had the AMG wheels. I didn't have the AMG engine, but. Okay. But you had the wheels. So it's a start. It's a start. I like it. Were you ever addicted to hard drugs or was it really always just weed was your thing?

I was. I was addicted to cocaine like later on in my life. Like at one point for about, I would say two to three years. Yeah, 2018, 17, 18, 19, something like that. Oh, wow. Yeah, sure. Right when I sort of met my wife, I was pretty bad and she helped me through that. That's, how did you get, how did you get sober on that? Did you go to rehab or what did you do?

She took me to like this, I did not want to go to rehab and I've been to rehabs before and she knew I was serious that I wanted to stop, like that I had to stop and she would, she would, the one that would like take care of me when like all that shit was kicked up in my nose and like, like I needed to like, you know, steam my face every day. And like, it was horrible for me. And she's 20 years younger than me, you know, and she came into my house when she was 18 years old. And so that was like a lot for her to like figure out how do I get this like 30 year old 35 year old dude off coke, you know, and I had kids around and I had like, you know, it was, it was.

Wow. Yeah. So basically, she was with me for like, probably the worst of it. Like that year on tour, I was doing these like meeting greets after the show, where I made this thing where I like didn't want to just do the typical meeting greet where it's like, so I gave everybody like a robe and slippers when they entered the door that said, modest Yahoo on them. And the deal was like you had to put on the robe and slippers and hang. So I would do these hangs after the show. And that was a lot for me. So yeah, that's when that became kind of a thing. And basically,

she she just helped me out. I came back from a tour, we came we came back from tour and I was wanting to I wanted to go like cold turkey on everything, which I did. And she took me to this Buddhist place in upstate New York that they just have rooms that are simple with a deck out there and they make organic, like, macrobiotic food. And that's it. And there's like trails, and you can just like rent a room. And we just went there for like a week, rented a room. And she just like took me through it. I went through all the detox and everything there at this like little monastery. Wow.

It was like nobody there. It was like not a it was not a time when people were coming. So it was basically just us that were there. And we just rented a room and they had like meditations if you wanted to do them or not. I think we watched like a lot of, I forget when we were watching that, it might have been Game of Thrones or something. We just had like the laptop and we were just like, I'm like shaking, watching fucking TV and shit. Yeah. Wow. And so ever since then, so you became sober? What to like, what 2020? Like around then? Yeah, I transferred from like coke to alcohol during COVID. Right. So that was your like, that was like kind of your new

addiction to get you off that eventually. Yeah, that became the thing. Yeah, for me. And then. Yeah. Have you done it since then? Have you have any kind of relapse or nothing? Actually, yeah, that became the thing for me. Have you done it since then? Have you had any kind of relapse or nothing? Nope. No, no. Done with that one.

That's fucking horrible drug, man. The worst. So horrible. For me in particular, it was really bad. I don't do well on that drug. I don't do well on speed. I would isolate myself all day long because I was just afraid to interact with anyone. And then I would just get up on stage and do my show. And that

also wasn't great either. Did people know? Did people know besides you? No, no. This may be the first time I'm talking about it. I don't know. I think it might be actually. And I'm a very honest person. So I don't feel like I need to hold that kind of thing back. That was a struggle for me and I got through it. I'm not perfect. I'm not like where I was in say 2000 and what was that? 2014, maybe.

Something like that. But I have a family and an incredible relationship with my wife and I feel like I'm a really fucking kick-ass dad. And trying to handle my business and be like an inspiration for Jewish people and make good fucking music at the same time. So yeah, I mean, I feel like I'm doing all right, but- You're very likable, I have to say. Not perfect.

By the way, nobody is perfect. And what makes you so perfect is your imperfections because what's so, honestly, as I said, you're very likable. I mean, you're so honest and I love that. Like, you know, people come on these things a lot and they say what they're supposed to say. And there's a lot of like pop and circumstance, you know, and you can see it and you can feel it. I think part of your charm and your success honestly is that like you kind of

wear your heart on your sleeve and people, you know, you can feel your honesty. I think it's a really nice thing. Thank you. Thank you. That's awesome. I mean, that means a lot to me because that's definitely someone said that to me recently, especially like in Israel. They don't they don't because they don't they're used to like people like you present yourself a certain way like this. Yeah. And I'm like the opposite of that and people are always like, I was just gonna work. Yeah. I feel like people walk away feeling usually like some kind of feeling of like they they were like, something got something good, like a good meal. I feel that way. Like, I'm actually kind of sad because I

actually genuinely like you. I'm like, Am I ever going to see you again? Because I thought I actually thought you lived in LA. Yeah, I'm coming back. I'm coming back for the Jewish Film Festival on June 24. And I'm going to be coming to LA, I think on the 20th for a few days to work on some music. And so I'll be hanging out. Let's hang out. Let's do something. Let's get coffee.

Let's do whatever we want. We'll do like a collaboration. I actually have something I want you to come to that I think you'd be amazing for. It's in New York. It's through, I'm going to tell you after this podcast, I think that you would be like, like I said, I think you'd be great at it. And Wade, I'm just so, I have to say, I just really like you. You're so likable.

Thank you. You know, um, GQ in like 2000 and, uh, 2006 had me listed as America's most lovable oddball. Really? Yes. This interview, I'm going to wrap it. This is with Matas Yahu, who is so darling. Matas, tell everybody where they can find you on this podcast if you don't know who

he is. Just tell us, tell them your handle. And then... Like, oh, it's Matas Yahu, which is M-A-T-I-S-Y-A-H-U. Matas Yahu. one word, Instagram. He's amazing. Thank you so much for being on this podcast. We're actually for sure doing a part two

when you're in LA, but thank you. You're welcome. Okay.