Habits and Hustle - Episode 477:Jim Curtis: How to Rewire Your Brain, Break Mental Patterns, and Actually Change Your Life

Episode Date: August 19, 2025

Think you need to be broken to benefit from deep personal transformation work? Think again. In this episode of Habits and Hustle, I talk with Jim Curtis, a growth strategist and master hypnotist, who ...explains how even high-achieving, control-oriented people can become their most powerful selves.  We dive into what he calls "mind traps" and how childhood trauma shaped his intuitive abilities. We also discuss why authentic masculine energy is desperately needed in today's world, and how hypnosis can rewire deep-seated beliefs in ways traditional therapy can't touch. Jim Curtis is a growth strategist, master hypnotist, and former VC executive who helps high achievers break through mental barriers and step into their most powerful selves. After overcoming a life-changing illness at 21, he discovered his gift for reading people and facilitating deep healing through a combination of practical psychology, NLP, and spiritual connection. What We Discuss:  (01:52) How childhood trauma became Jim's superpower for reading people  (05:59) What authentic masculine energy really means and why it's missing today  (10:51) The neurolinguistic programming techniques that bypass your critical mind  (14:21) How to tell what frequency you're operating at and raise it instantly  (21:11) Mind traps: Why we create our own limiting realities  (24:18) The "Costanza Effect" - doing the opposite to break confirmation bias  (30:08) How hypnosis actually works (and why I couldn't be hypnotized)  (38:18) The difference between affirmations and real transformation  (46:23) Quantum leaping: How to rewrite traumatic memories through hypnosis  (52:25) Past lives, karma, and why some people are "meant" for certain work  (55:37) Shadow work: Making friends with your darker impulses  …and more! Thank you to our sponsors: Momentous: Shop this link and use code Jen for 20% off Therasage: Head over to therasage.com and use code Be Bold for 15% off  TruNiagen: Head over to truniagen.com and use code HUSTLE20 to get $20 off any purchase over $100. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code Jen at checkout. 99designs by Vista: 99designs.com/jen20  – click "Claim my discount" to get $20 off your first design contest.    Find more from Jen:  Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen   Books: https://www.jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://www.jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagement Find more from Jim Curtis: Website: https://jimcurtis1.com/  Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/jimcurtis1/?hl=en 

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, guys. It's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. Before we dive into today's episode, I first want to thank our sponsor, Therisage. Their trite panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go. And I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammation in places. in my body where, honestly, I have pain. You can use it on a sore back, stomach cramps, shoulder, ankle. Red light therapy is my go-to. Plus, it also has amazing anti-aging benefits, including reducing signs of fine lines and wrinkles on your face, which I also use it for.
Starting point is 00:00:48 I personally use Therisage trilight everywhere at all the time. It's small, it's affordable, it's portable, and it's really effective. Head over to therisage.com right now and use code be bold for 15% off. This code will work sitewide. Again, head over to Therisage, T-H-E-R-A-S-A-G-E dot com and use code be bold for 15% off any of their products. Jim Curtis is on the podcast. He's going to be doing his little magic mind shot. He says he loves them.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Do you have them a lot? No, I haven't had them in a long time, but now I've remembered to have them. They're really good. I'm going to give you a bunch. All right. So I've had like four. I'm not allowed to have anymore today. So you're going to take it.
Starting point is 00:01:47 And I'm going to post this. And so everyone's going to see you do all these. They're all adaptogens. It's like, if I have my glasses on it. I know. Tell me about it. It has a bunch of like, It has a little bit of green tea, so for, are you going to do it?
Starting point is 00:02:04 Yeah, well, right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was such a lead-up. I thought you were doing more a lead-up. I was going to do it, but I thought, well, okay, go ahead. There was such a lead-up. You're right.
Starting point is 00:02:15 Do you like it? This is delicious. All right, so Jim Curtis is joining us at the podcast today. So thank you very much for being here. Jim, just so you know, he is, we just changed his name, actually. He's a growth strategist now. Great. And he was formerly a transformational coach, but we didn't really love that name because he's so much more than that.
Starting point is 00:02:38 And we're going to get into it because he's also a master hypnotist. He's a lot of things. So anyway, now Jim is a growth strategist. I love it. I love it. See, you get stuff done. Literally. I'm an action-oriented person.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I knew if anybody had to ask, you said, I don't really love that name. So let's figure out a new one we did in five minutes. five minutes and here we are. What do you call someone that does what I do? There's no name for it. There really isn't it. Well, that's the thing. Like, I find that what you do, it's vast, right?
Starting point is 00:03:07 So, you know, people just go to the most, like, the easiest low-hanging fruit name. And it's like, it doesn't really, really define what the work actually is. So how would you even define what you do? Like, what is the work that you do? Because with, you know, Jim and I actually met like 10 years ago, just in full disclosure. and he was in the VC world, totally not doing this. He was like the president of like some health company back when. And now he's obviously doing a whole lot of different stuff.
Starting point is 00:03:37 So explain. I want to hear all about what it is. So if you could take practical psychology and mindset training, so everyday mindset training, what makes us do what we do with a spiritual connection, like identifying as something more, that you can both hit the practical and the spiritual at the same time become the most powerful version of yourself, overcoming and transforming through any obstacle,
Starting point is 00:04:00 any illness, any health issue, any feeling of self-worth, self-lack into business and all those areas, that's what I do. So right, how do you explain that in two words, which is growth strategist because you're growing spiritually, you're growing your energy, you're growing your presence within the world, your connection and your impact. How did this become what, who you are and what you do. Like you've, what has been your life journey or evolution? Because like I said, when I met you, you were doing something totally different in finance and business. And now you are, like, even your, well, your energy was always very calm and soothing. I would say, like, I think that's one thing I do remember. But how did you get from there to where you are now? Yeah, there was a time in my life
Starting point is 00:04:47 where my energy was crazy, crazy. Really? Yeah. Before, you know, what, you know, What, you know, pain really settles you. Your body settles you. And although I'm not in pain now, it changes you. It changes everything, right? So I used to lay in bed as a kid, and I could feel the energy in my body shaking. I could connect to the energy. I'd feel almost waves in my body.
Starting point is 00:05:11 And I knew that I could connect to energy really easily. And I knew that I had insight into people, even as a young kid. Really? Yeah. And I used to think that it was because my father was a lunatic. And he was so crazy. How? How was he looted? He was just, he was straight out of Greece, neurotic, and he was angry, and he was vain, all these things. So I had to watch him to see, like, when he was going to explode next. And my intuition got really great. But then I realized I just had that. I was a watcher. I'd like to go deeper than what's on the surface. I'm always looking for the truth. So I started to realize this from a young age, and that I could connect with people and understand them. And then I, around 20 years old, I got really ill, right?
Starting point is 00:05:58 We've talked about this before. We were talking about this. And so that illness really opened up something new in me, one that I had to overcome, but then it opened up an insight to other people who were struggling. And then another insight in how to thrive despite it. And so I thought that I wanted to be in business, and I did. I really loved business entrepreneurship, always in technology and health. WebMD, Everyday Health, Remedy Health, Institute,
Starting point is 00:06:22 integrated nutrition. And then I realized, like, there's something much bigger. There's something much more that I can help people with. And so I started to really focus on that. And when I did, it took off. I mean, you've been doing this now for how long, this new version. This new thing just almost two, it will be two years in August. So a year and a half. And like what I say, like, I think that, like, I understand what you've been by the fact that it took, I understand why it would take off, because I said this to you before we started, was that there's a true authenticity. to who you are, your energy is very calm. It's soothing.
Starting point is 00:06:57 It's like your temperament goes really well with what this is naturally. And I think because of what you said before, it's like your background, your childhood, you were an observer, you were very perceptive, you love that stuff. Yeah. That you kind of like made all these like mental notes of like what and how to do something, not to do something or like how you want to be, how to show up in the world. Exactly right. How you want to show up in the world.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Yeah. And we talked about before, too, is the really stepping into the divine masculine. Yeah, you said that. Yeah. What is the divine masculine? The divine masculine is grounded and has roots. It's all the way down. It doesn't have to show off.
Starting point is 00:07:35 It doesn't have to be showy. It doesn't have to jump. It doesn't have to shout. The divine masculine is an oak tree. It's a redwood, right? And it can sway in the breeze. And it can provide an energy of support and safety. So it can, the divine masculine is supposed to settle your nervous system.
Starting point is 00:07:51 As soon as you get in touch with it, not make questions, not make insecurities, not make inconsistencies. And so I've really stepped into the divine masculine. So do you help other men kind of find their divine masculine? Because I find this is something that is so lacking in the world we're living today. I find there's not very many men out anymore. Like there's men are not really masculine anymore. that's what I, and not, by the way, it's not just me who says this. It's like, I think it's a very common conversation. Ladies are saying this. Yeah, oh, every lady I know. Like, and by the way,
Starting point is 00:08:29 all the, young ladies, old ladies, 20 and up, like, it's hard to, it's like, literally, it's hard to find, like, a real man these days. And, and I don't know if that's, like, even, like, politically correct to say, but it's the actual truth. Yeah. So, how does that come up and show up in your work? Do people literally contact you for that, or was that something that you worked on and then you're now teaching that to other men. That's a really great question. And I don't teach it to other men. So I don't even talk about this is the first time that we were even so you're bringing
Starting point is 00:08:58 something new. Oh, good. So I activate and I come from and everything that I try to do is through the divine masculine. And so I don't have to say I'm going to teach you how to do the divine masculine. Everybody feels the divine masculine. And so when I work with a man, I'm telling them just basically be a man. You know, like they're recognizing what I'm telling them. I don't have to say this is how you step into your masculine.
Starting point is 00:09:19 energy. And with women, I work with a lot of women, too. I heal with them through the divine masculine, especially women who have been dating, can't find love, going through divorce. All these things that women are dealing with today, like they've had really difficult, you know, experiences with men. Everybody calls a man a narcissist. Every other person is a narcissist, right? And so I can work with a woman and allow her to feel the safety of the divine masculine in heal her own trauma with men so that she can have a better relationship going forward. I'm the archetype for that. I never say that.
Starting point is 00:09:56 That's the energy that I'm trying to put out there in the world. And I only got there through being, just messing up. Really? I had to learn it. I had to learn it along the way, who I wanted to be. How did you learn it? And what's the first step to becoming that way? I learned it through relationship, right?
Starting point is 00:10:17 I learned it through what would make me feel terrible. and then what was I creating in my relationships? The women that I'd like, I'd get anxious about, needy, wanting more and more and more, and then they'd push them away. Or I'd be macho and controlling and push them away. And I realized that never makes me feel good and these relationships are terrible.
Starting point is 00:10:37 So I took it, this pain from these relationships and from these architects, and I held it in my hand. I said, what's the lesson of this pain? And I could take it from myself and say, what is the lesson of this pain? and of this pain and who do I really want to be? What is the identity that I need to be most successful and happiest in life?
Starting point is 00:10:54 And the identity came just like be the oak, be the tree, you don't need to desire. I can have wants, I can have desires, but you don't need to be wanting, grabbing, pursuing, right? Instead, you can just allow. But how do you teach that to somebody? How do you even subtly teach that and bring that into someone's subconscious?
Starting point is 00:11:16 Well, you said, when you said that, You said that when you, I don't know what you said, maybe you said at ease. You can see that the... Well, you bring the energy down. You're a real downer, Jim, you know. No, what I'm saying is your energy is calming. Yeah. Because you're not loud.
Starting point is 00:11:35 You're not, like, erratic. You seem kind of calm, steady. Yeah. Well, that will regulate your nervous system immediately. 100%. Yeah. So that will regulate your nervous system. system, and then I'll talk to you about attachment, and I'll talk to you about something bigger,
Starting point is 00:11:52 and I'll talk to you about how you don't have to worry, because the only time is now. And then I'll get into a little NLP, and I'll start to... What is that? What is that? What is that? Yeah, how does that work? So we have this conscious mind, and in the conscious mind, we have a critical mind. It's filtering everything based on our beliefs.
Starting point is 00:12:08 So if I say something to you that's not against your beliefs, you'll be like, that's bullshit. I'm not going to allow it. Toss that out. Right. Right? But if I say something that removes the critical mind, it gets beyond the critical. mind, into your subconscious programming through a question. I wonder what it would feel like if you did mean a man that give you everything that you want. Instead of like, Jen, if you just do
Starting point is 00:12:30 this, that your life's going to be great, your subconscious mind start to think about and process. What if that's true? So you kind of like ask a question to your brain or to your mind. I pose a question to your subconscious. And so that way, if you pose a question to my subconscious, it will basically marinate in my sublunches? Yeah, to allow yourself to answer it instead of kicking it out. Is that the trick for NLP? Yeah, there's embedded commands. There's all sorts of things.
Starting point is 00:12:57 It's the way you posed a question. So I can embed a command within a question that's positive. So like an embedded command around your identity. Yeah. You know, like, I wonder when you let this go, how amazing you will feel. As opposed to asking it or saying it how. You're going to feel amazing when you let this go. Right.
Starting point is 00:13:16 command is you're going to feel amazing. But so you, I start with the energy. I regulate through my own energy, through the safety of it. And then I can start with the conversation in coaching NLP. I mean, the master at NLP is Tony Robbins. Like he's always amazing. Yeah. He's like the number one. I mean, I mean, not even number one. There's no one that's like, there's no one even the same category. It's like there's no one that even comes close. Not even close. I totally agree. And I hear the word all the time and other people have said they do it. They're experts at it. I don't even know what that means. Child's play compared to tone.
Starting point is 00:13:49 It's amateur hour. Yes. Yeah. Me too. I mean, I was in his presence and I was able to benefit from that. Yeah. And I walked away from there saying like, yeah, he is the north star of all of this work. Now, like, he doesn't, that's the practical mentality of our human experience.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Now, there's something greater than that. There's something greater than that that when you tap into it, you can, like, mindset, performance, longevity, like, you're tapping into something much bigger source beyond any NLP. Right. And that's the realization that, like, all around us everywhere is energy. And we start to tell ourselves a lie that because we can't see it, it's not happening. Well, yeah, like, I even said to you initially before, I'm like, I don't, you know, I'm very, because I'm much more, I'm a real, I'm a practical person.
Starting point is 00:14:40 I like things that are like in my, if I can't see it, I don't understand it. And so I operate in that way. That's my operating system. But yet, I know there's all these other frequencies and other energies and other high, you know, I guess, like, VAT, I don't even know what you call it, that are working. I'm not ignorant to not know that. I just don't understand it. Like, I guess the question I have for you is, how do you know what frequency you are and how could you put yourself in a higher frequency? Yeah, that's a great question.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Thank you. How do you? You know what frequency are by how you feel. You're in high frequency already. You can tell. How do you know? Well, I can tell because you have high energy. You have relatability, right? So you're in this frequency where you're not down. You probably don't dwell on your issues. You probably get up and like, if you're feeling sad, you probably move your body really quickly. Very quickly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that is putting you constantly into a state, into a state of a higher frequency, right? Where someone else may, like, I'm not getting out of bed today. That type of thing. And that's a low frequency. That would be keeping in a low frequency, in a rut, in a low frequency. So if you want to raise your frequency, there's two things that you can do. One is get out there and move your body, right? That's why people with physical disabilities and illnesses get, like, chronically depressed.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Oh, wow. Right? Because the body is telling you, exactly. And I had to, like, find my thing because there was, like, I'd lay in bed, like, drink and shake shack when I wasn't feeling. Really? Yes. And I had to find, like, this, like, this was. that was my path. And I know what it feels like to be like, you know, like just order some more
Starting point is 00:16:18 shake shack and watch TV in bed for a day or two. And so I realized what that created. And then I realized how I could get out of it. And it doesn't matter if, you know, your legs don't work or they do. You can still move, right? So what did you do? I'm a swimmer. I swim every day. You swim every day. Good for you. How long do you swim it? Like how long? Forty-five minutes. So I love the pools in California because the pool in New York City that I swim in to like the bottom of of the projects, but in the basement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes the lights work, sometimes they don't.
Starting point is 00:16:47 If you're lucky, right. Here, it's like outdoor pools in Santa Monica, West Hollywood, everywhere I get to swim. So move your body. Like, you know this already intuitively. You're like aligned. Yeah. And the second part is allow yourself to visualize the best thing that could ever happen,
Starting point is 00:17:02 the best outcome, and then back it up and stack it with things that you love. So if you visualize, oh, there's my daughter, there's my dog, there's that incredible lake at Jenny. Lake in Wyoming that I love so much, there's my son. And then you stack it up with, what if this happened, how amazing would it be? Already you start to feel more power in your muscles. Really? So you're saying visualization? Visualize the things that you love. An action. Action. Move your body. Activity. Yeah. Because you talk a lot, I think I think I saw that. You talk a lot about high free, like being high vibration. What happens to people who are, who are high vibration versus low
Starting point is 00:17:42 vibration. Like, how does, like, what kind of, what happens in the world to them? People who are high vibration. What do they attract versus low vibration? There's two things when you raise your vibration. Okay. One, you become magnetic to like other high vibrational things and people. Okay. Right? And then, and then you just completely repel other people, right? Yeah. Those people that can't, that's good thing for you too. Exactly. Exactly. People either, you know what the truth is, actually now that you say it, people either love me or I hate my guts. Yeah. It's like you want to be around and hate you. And I experienced this stuff too. Like the other day I experienced it. Right? Really? Who could hate you? No, but I experienced it with someone
Starting point is 00:18:20 else. Oh, you hated them? No. I like what I realized that I was at a lower vibration and I was looking at them with envy and jealousy. And I was like that, you know, like they're, and they're doing the same thing as me. Right. And I'm like that, God, it's just something I don't like about that person. Right. And I found myself saying that. I even look at their Instagram. page and just be like, this is something I don't like about that person. Is that a bad thing? Yeah, for me, that was a bad thing because it's a wonderful person doing amazing things in the world.
Starting point is 00:18:50 So what I did is I called them and I said, hey, I'd like to meet you. Really? Yes. And so when I met them for coffee, I realized immediately, like our energies, we came like really, like immediately was like a love connection. Really? And I said, oh, yes, that's the ego, the identity, the fear of not good enough, of not as good. all those things.
Starting point is 00:19:12 I was in a low frequency. It was repelling me from this person. But as soon as I decided to make that change and do something different, I'm going to call that person and go and see who they really are, it was kismet. But isn't there something to be said? And I think I thought maybe you, like, what about gut instinct or intuition? Maybe you didn't like that person because you kind of caught a vibe that maybe they weren't
Starting point is 00:19:33 what they thought, what they say they are. Isn't that possible, too? Totally. Are you a gut instinct type of person? I'm a gut instinct kind of person. Yeah. Like, I'm kind of when you were describing how you were as a kid, that's kind of like how I was very much an observer. I love to watch, like my favorite thing in the world to this day is people watching.
Starting point is 00:19:51 I love watching how people kind of interact in the world. And it's not the big things that I'm looking out for. It's the small things. Facial movements. It's just the small way, the way that they move through the world, how they talk to people, their just overall vibe. I find it to be, like, fascinating, but I pick up on a lot of, like, nuances to tell me if they're fake, real, good, bad. Like, it happens really quickly. Yeah. But I feel like sometimes if I don't like some, if I, like, have a reaction like you just had to that person, I would think to myself, that's my, that's my intuition. That's not because I'm low frequency. But maybe it's my, that could be my ego. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, I think, and that's where the work comes in is differentiating. Yeah. So I would like to do work on that just to see if maybe it is my ego because there's probably a lot of people that I dislike because maybe I am jealous and I just don't really want to admit it to myself. Yeah, that was me. Yeah. So other times when I meet someone in person and I'm just like, eh, now for me. Right. It happens to me a lot too. That's my gut feeling. Yeah. Like I don't know. I need to. But if I see someone on Instagram or like out in the world doing something and I'm feeling that without knowing them, then that's my ego. Right. Because also you can't really social media. I mean, people are. like, they're representing a fraction of who they really are.
Starting point is 00:21:11 You can't really judge someone based on that. 100%. Because most people I meet in real life versus who I meet on Instagram, they're almost, not always, but a lot of times they're not the same person. Yeah, it's a persona, it's a TV show. Exactly. You know, like, I think that's for sure. Let me share my daily routine game changer with you.
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Starting point is 00:22:21 subscription. That's livemomenus.com code gen for 35% off your first subscription. Trust me, you'll be happy you did. I saw something you were talking about mind traps. What are mind traps? Oh, mind traps are awesome for both shadow work. Are you familiar with shadow work? No, I want you to tell me. Okay, shadow work and NLP, just kind of like practical psychology type of stuff.
Starting point is 00:22:53 So mind traps are when we get in these ruts. Okay. Right? Because there's so much information that we can literally create any reality we want based on what we know. Okay. We're taking in 4,000 pieces of information a minute. So we have to collate it. We have to organize it.
Starting point is 00:23:08 And so the things that become mind traps are these things that are within our belief system. So, you know, the double down effect or here's a, you know, confirmation bias is a real mind trap. Is it? Okay. Yeah. So one, we have a belief and say that's a limiting belief. So it's like, because I walk with a limp, I'm not lovable. And I don't know that.
Starting point is 00:23:32 to just say that that was a belief of mind. That was mine of my confirmation biases. That was a mind trap of mine. Because I walk with a limp and my body is broken, I'm not lovable. Guess what kind of relationships that I was going out and looking for? People that I could, that I could, that would leave me or that weren't good or that wanted money that I had or something like that. Right.
Starting point is 00:23:50 So I had to figure out like, why are my relationships? You're picking people who are, who don't have good intentions. They're good intentions, people that are broken, then I want to heal so that they don't actually see who I am, people that like want something for me other than who I am, like people that are dating five of other people, all those things, right? Right, right. And so I said, what are my results in love? Oh my God, they're atrocious, I'm unhappy. Right. All right, what's my confirmation by? Why am I picking these? Because I'm confirming some belief. What's the belief? And I had to dig down into the muck. And that's the belief that I found. And I had to
Starting point is 00:24:25 find out how to like, oh, I had to forgive myself and love myself and like realize that I wasn't broken. How do you overcome confirmation bias? First you find out you bring awareness. Okay, what's the belief that I'm confirming? And two, you actively choose the opposite. Hmm. I think the Costanza effect. Have you heard of that? Can't stand you? Yeah, no, no, no, that's a whole other thing. Cassanza effect is like, I wrote this in one of my books, which is do the opposite. Okay, so George Cassanza. Not George Cassanza. No, George Cassanza. Okay, because, you know, there was an episode on Seinfeld with George Cassanza where he basically, you know, he's such a like life loser. That's the whole thing about George Costanza. So one day he decides that he's going to do
Starting point is 00:25:06 the opposite of everything he normally does to see what the success rate would be as opposed to doing everything else. He basically did everything the opposite of what he did prior in every stage, in every walk of life. Professionally, then he got the job of the Yankees. With women, he got a supermodel, like all these things. So he became extraordinarily successful with doing the opposite of what he would normally do. So it sounds to me like to get over your own confirmation bias. You do the Costanza effect. You do the Cassanza effect. You do whatever the opposite is that you would normally do. Yeah. I think that's genius. Isn't it though? You should do that in your teachings and your learnings. You should. I don't need the credit either. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:25:53 I'll give it to you regardless. I appreciate that. I like that. So that's one of the mind traps. Give me another couple. Doubling down? Okay, so doubling down is like, I have a belief, and there's some evidence that maybe that belief is wrong, you know, like that. Totally. This is happening a lot right now in the world. Yeah, but already I've invested so much into that belief that I'm like, I'm doubling down.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Yeah. I'm going to get defensive. I'm going to hold on to that belief because I can't possibly be wrong, so I'm going to double down. Like this, so that's another one. And how many are there? How many mind traps are there? There's lots. There's lots.
Starting point is 00:26:31 We get into all sorts of, we get into all sorts of mind traps. And so is it, is part of the work trying to figure out what mind trap you're, the person is doing? Yeah, so part of the work is what you figure out the mind trap you're doing. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. And that's what I do in these groups. The first group is like breaking free. It's like, okay, let's look and bring awareness to all the bullshit that we think is real, but we've actually just created.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Right, right. You know, we're so certain that all this stuff is real. And it's like, oh, right, I created this because my father said, blah, blah, blah. It feels like a lot of this is at the end of the day the basics of, like, self-doubt, limiting beliefs, and being stuck because of the self-doubt and limited beliefs. Yeah, totally. And not having the wherewithal of the awareness to say, oh, this is what's happening. And it's not, there could be another truth.
Starting point is 00:27:27 I love that question. Like, is it absolutely true? I know that there is a woman who coined these questions, but my friend Doc Amon had me in on his show. And he's like, and we're going through something. And he's like, okay, let's run through this. Is this true? Could there possibly be any other truth?
Starting point is 00:27:43 If there were like, how many other truths could there be? And therefore, is it true? And it's like, oh, okay. No, it's subjective. And therefore, there could be other truths that are quite the opposite. And that's kind of how you, that's where you start. One is bring awareness and the thing, realize it's not. true or could be another truth and then you can start to dismantle it and just met and like like
Starting point is 00:28:03 if i find this people get so stuck right like they're in their in their belief system like we're talking about and it's really hard when something is like in your DNA to reprogram these thoughts right so i mean how go ahead were you going to say something i'm not sure i think it's really hard if you don't have the tools of the person to lead you that's what's saying so like like what's the process with it? Like if you, is it the self-awareness that you're like kind of speaking about? And like, what is the work? Because I think that like we get so stuck in like, you know, we get distracted by all these other things in life. Like, how do we move past that? And are these changes, can we actually make these changes that are forever? Like not just, you know, a lot of times
Starting point is 00:28:50 you know, we're going to diet and we do it for a week. And then we like, we rebound. We work out for a month. It's like, oh, I like my muscles. And then you're like, oh. And then you're like, And then basically you rebound back to like your old ways. Have you ever had a realization that you're like, oh shit, that's a real realization? That's an aha moment. Have I ever? Yeah. A lot all the time.
Starting point is 00:29:08 And have they stayed with you forever? Yeah, but then, you know, I'm just going to be honest with you. I think a lot of times what happens is life happens and then real life happens and people get back into what they normally do. So I always ask this question to people who are like you because more often than not, you're going to have a client like me, right, where I'm super like, I'm really kind of like you were saying my mind trap is like I'm set in my ways. Like, you know, it's really hard for me to really change. It's a control thing, right? And I can have all the self, not just me,
Starting point is 00:29:41 I'm just saying, I'm using myself here as an example talking to you, but like you can have all the self-awareness in the world. But the execution is where you make the change, but not just execution once in a while, but consistently making these things. Yeah. I think. you're absolutely right, but I think there's two distinctions. Okay. And one is this. The first one is, just like the gym, you've got to keep out this stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:01 Right? The second one is, when you have a realization, it's forever. So if I was to say that the reason why you're stuck in your ways is because of control, because you need control, because it's a belief that you're not safe without it. And so if we go back to find why you're not safe without it, what was the impact of that original feeling of unsafe or not good enough? because all your subconscious mind wants to keep you safe. It's all it wants to do.
Starting point is 00:30:27 It's for your survival. It's the operating system to keep you living and alive. Sometimes it's mal-informed. It's dysfunction, right? You don't need to be safe from this thing. In fact, it's limiting you. Right. So we would go back in hypnosis,
Starting point is 00:30:39 find out that thing that you felt unsafe for, that you need control throughout your life because it's protecting you from something, and we'd change it. Well, you just said that right now, Matt, the hypnosis, because we kind of said at the beginning, like, do people need these tools. Like, can you, do you put people, like, you became a master at this, right?
Starting point is 00:30:58 Hey, how do someone become a master hypnosis? I don't know. And can you self-pitness? Can someone just do that on themselves? Or do they need somebody like you to do that? You can do a light sense on yourself? You can? Yeah. And then someone, so you're asking how you do this. So the tools are to ask the provocative questions, to use NLP to start to change the mind and bring awareness. And then to actually get into the subconscious mind and use suggestion for someone's own highest good. So what that means is, I'll listen to you. I'll listen to the words that you use. I'll see how your subconscious mind is actually operating, what the belief is, what your control belief is, what that. Do you find that? If you put me in like this, if you can hypnotize me,
Starting point is 00:31:38 do you find that out? Or do I, like, is? No, I'm already finding it out right now as we're talking. Oh, really? So when I hypnotize you. Okay. So part of this is someone who's really skilled at this, like a Tony Robbins mentioned before, we'll be listening to every word you say and how you use it. And then when you go under hypnosis, that's when your mind relaxes enough that I can pose a suggestion
Starting point is 00:32:00 that directly hits on that core belief that's limiting you and it will have a realization to change. And so that's like a surgeon with a scalpel. So some people can do really good and some people are okay. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:13 So how did you get really good at... I started in the beginning. I was like always watching my first. and figuring out how his mind works so I could stay safe. So that's why every issue, every trauma, every obstacle is for your highest good. Without this illness, without this limp, without this fear that I wasn't lovable, without the abusive father, I would not have a laser-focused ability to understand you and help you change. And I feel so fulfilled by that.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Every time someone heals in my presence, the energy of their healing, and this is the woo-woo stuff maybe. The energy of their healing heals me. I feel like I am growing by leaps and bounds this year. My energy, my healing, everything. You said the word identity a bunch of times before. Is it because you're helping people change their identity of who they believe they are? Yeah. Well, there's two things. One practical. Everything I do is practical and spiritual. So the practical identity is like, I believe I'm good enough for this. If you believe that you can make a million dollars, like I met with a guy the other day, he's like, I believe that I can charge $15,000 an hour, and I'm good enough for that. I can provide enough value for that
Starting point is 00:33:23 and people pay it. And if you don't believe that that's possible, no one's going to pay you. And if you don't believe in yourself, nobody, how do you expect anyone else to believe in you? Right? Yeah. Totally. But also, I didn't move from New York City for so long because, like, I'm an East Village type of guy. I need a little edge. I need a little dirt. And that's also a belief in my identity, which is bullshit. I actually like, I like warm weather and, yeah, I know. I just swim in nice pools, You know, I thought that was too basic. I know, exactly, that you're too beige, you know, for that, yeah. But so, so, so, though then something happens, you see the realization that you can change, like, that something's not.
Starting point is 00:34:01 Yeah, the realization that you can change your identity, you can step into something new. Like, your identity is just a program, and let's reprogram something else, right? And then there's this idea started in the Bible, maybe even before it. It's saying Ignatius, it's called the Violet Flame, and it's called the I Am Discords, which, says that Jesus himself was the I am, the creator, God's the creator. I'm not religious, I'm spiritual, but when we say God, there is something bigger than us, right? And so the I am discord say that, you know, within the presence of God, God is the I am. And God is experiencing itself through us.
Starting point is 00:34:38 And we can't remember because you can't actually have your own consciousness if you remember that you're God. So consider this, just the chance of it, that God is experiencing itself through us, that God reaches down his fingers like we becomes people. And now we're walking around as people, right? And we're really the creator itself. And therefore, we can create through the I am. And practically when we say I am something, it becomes something. But also the more spiritual, the more encompassing, the more expansive thing is that we are creation itself.
Starting point is 00:35:12 We are the I am itself. So like I am what? I am, give me an example. Here's an example. Here's an example. Practically, I am stupid or practically I am a divine creature that could probably learn anything. Or here's a more expansive example. I am the ocean in a drop.
Starting point is 00:35:34 I am not the wave. I am the ocean. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the bigger of the, yeah. We think we're the wave. Right. But we have to have the power.
Starting point is 00:35:45 We're bigger than that. But the wave is part of the ocean. We're not separate from things. Do you believe in manifestation? I do, yeah. You do. Okay, what's your definition of manifestation? If you just think about it, it will show up.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Yeah, I believe we're manifesting everything. Like, I manifested this. I watched it on Instagram. We met 10 years ago. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to be on your show. I asked, I think I reached out. Like, that was manifestation.
Starting point is 00:36:11 And if, like, and if I have another belief, that's bad, I manifest it. Right. Manifestation is the expression of intention and action that brings about a result. Okay, you just said the word action. Yeah. Right? So it's not just putting something on a vision board and hoping and thinking that it's going to happen. We have a reticulate activating system that says in our minds that I'm going to go find that thing I see every day.
Starting point is 00:36:35 All of a sudden, like you buy a yellow jeep and you see lots of yellow jeep. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But no, absolutely. That's part of it. But if you're not taking action every day, like getting out there hitting the streets, then like that man's not going to show up in your living room if you've never left the house. So that, so yeah. So the reason why I'm saying that, because manifestation seems very passive just in itself, but you have to add that action piece to it or else it's just in your head,
Starting point is 00:36:58 right? Now, what about, what do you call it? Like when people have these like slogans all the time, they like repeat all for it over again. The mantras? Not just, do you believe in mantras? Affirmations. You believe in affirmations? You believe in affirmations? I believe that we're saying so many negative things to ourselves. Why not, counteract it with a few positive ones every now and then. Right. The problem is you say you're three affirmations in the morning and at night and you think you're doing something good.
Starting point is 00:37:21 And throughout the rest of the day, you're saying I'm stupid, I'm fat, I'm dumb, I'm not lovable. Right. Well, I also think there's something to be said, and you tell me, what about just having affirmations if you don't truly believe it? I mean, isn't that kind of, like, kind of the intent, like, isn't that kind of like an oxymoron? Yeah, like, shooting a BB gun and a piece of steel?
Starting point is 00:37:39 Well, no, or yeah, or say like, I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful when I really think I'm ugly. Like, don't you really have to believe what you're affirming for it to actually be something that works? Yeah, I think so. Or is your, or it could be like, is your opinion that if you say it enough, you'll end up believing it? I think that you have to start to counteract any negative thought and affirmations help. Do I think they're like the silver bullet and that's all you need to do is wake up, do your 10 affirmations? No, I think that's like drinking green juice. You know, one green juice. Yeah. Is it going to heal you? and then you go smoke some cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Right. It's a lifestyle. Yeah. Now you've got to do it over and over again. Yeah, you've got to do it a lot. I was going to ask you more about hypnosis because I'm very fascinated by that. Is hypnosis mind control? Like, is that what you're doing?
Starting point is 00:38:27 Are you mind? Is it very simple? Hypnosis allows you to control your own mind. Now, there are like, there are stage hypnosis. What's that? Like a guy up on stage that will, like, call up an audience and then make the Mac like chicken and that kind of stuff? Does that actually work? Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Really? Has that ever happened to you? No. I do more clinical hypnosis. No, I mean, have you ever been in the audience? I've seen it happen, yes. And it worked, really? Yeah. But there's someone that, so we each have our different ability to be hypnotized. We go into hypnosis all the time. You're driving a car and you're thinking, you're watching a movie, you're scrolling on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:39:04 That's why Instagram and the news is so detrimental because you're literally scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, and you become suggestible to all those messages. Right? That's why advertising is so powerful. They have a lot of blinking lights and then they tell you something and you're like, oh, maybe that's true. Maybe I am. Maybe I do need that skincare. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. So there is different people and the person that is most hypnotizable is called a synambulist. They go in like that and then they're like, they don't remember. And that's the person. You can tell by the way they flutter their eyes when they look up.
Starting point is 00:39:35 And so a stage hypnotist will look for that person, call them up on stage and then get them to act like a chicken. Really? So they're actually controlling them. But most hypnosis just allows you to have a little bit more of a grip on your own mind. So the kind that you do is a person conscious while you're doing it? Or do they... They're in a deep trance state. Which means like do they even know, so they don't know what they're saying or...
Starting point is 00:39:59 They do. They're not unconscious and they're not like out of it so much. That's not therapeutic. So we go into a deep trance state, which is like ultimate relaxation so your body can accept suggestions. But not so you're like, waking up and go, where the fuck, where the hell is like? Really? Yeah, that's not it. How long does it take to get somebody in this trans state?
Starting point is 00:40:18 Three minutes. That's it? Mm-hmm. Can you do it to me right this second? Yeah. Seriously? Mm-hmm. Okay, do it.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Okay. I'm nervous. What are you nervous about? I don't know. Yeah. Okay, what do I do? Do I sit here? This is all you have to do.
Starting point is 00:40:33 The interesting part about hypnosis is that you don't have to do anything. Because aren't you doing the work? No, you're doing the work. We're all doing the work. This is the only thing that you have to do. Okay. The only thing that you have to do is just put your hands like this. Put your hands out.
Starting point is 00:40:46 It's really the only thing they have to do. And now all you have to do is just literally listen to my voice. And as you look at me, also notice all the things that you can see out of the corners of your eyes. Without, just look right here. And as you look right here, just notice all the things that you can see in your peripheral vision. And as you do, you already start to notice your hands start to tingle a little bit. First on your right side and then on your left. So much so that as you listen to my voice, you may, you may, you know, you'll just to notice.
Starting point is 00:41:10 listen to my voice, you may even be able to hear the hum in the background of the other things that are happening. And your body starts to sink just a little bit further. As you stare at that spot in my face and notice all the things you can see other corners of your eyes. And notice your hand starts to tingle on the left side. And you listen to my voice and notice all those other things. You may even start to notice that your eyes start to blink a little bit more as you start to go down as you give yourself permission to just experience, as you give yourself just that permission to experience that one moment. Because in this one moment for a moment, We just have a moment.
Starting point is 00:41:42 And every moment from moment to moment is like a breath. And as your breath gets deeper, it just goes a little bit further, further and further and deeper and deeper, more relaxed. And as you do experience that breath from moment to moment for this moment, then another moment, your eyes just get heavy and you relax.
Starting point is 00:41:58 That's all it is. It's just to give permission to just have that relax. It's almost as like lead weights, pull your eyes down, they become heavier until it's just easier and easier just to let them close. Sometimes, sometimes just once in a while from moment to moment, having our eyes close is so comfortable. Should I close my eyes? What did you feel specifically?
Starting point is 00:42:19 You were fighting it. I was. I feel like if I wasn't on the podcast, like I felt pressure. So I was like more like on edge. But probably if I wasn't, I would probably just close, I would have closed my eyes and probably felt more. Yeah, there is, well, there is something called shock hypnosis that if I was holding your head, I could pull your pressure. head and you'd like go down because they'd have to shut off your brain. Yeah, I felt like I was like thinking about like, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:42:44 And then there are other times that like, so what I'll do with people, I'll go through that test, right, to see whether they have resistance or not. And then we'll start over again, wake up and start over again. And this is just a simple thing until I find out your kind of technique. And you could just give yourself permission, just hold your hand up like this, just for a second. Yeah, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:05 And I'm just going to tap on your middle finger and just stare at your middle finger. That's all you have to do. Just for a second. Like this? No, just hold your hand up like that. Good. And just stare at your middle finger. And as you just stare at your middle finger,
Starting point is 00:43:15 you may start to notice that your fingers start to spread naturally further and further as you. Yeah. That's weird, actually. But is that like that is weird. You are resistant. I am. I'll get you. You know, I'll tell you a silly story.
Starting point is 00:43:27 I don't know if you care or not. But I remember I got invited to go to this place called Rhythmia to do this ayahuasca retreat. Yeah, I've heard of Rhythmia. Okay. Okay. So I went like many years, like five years ago, whatever. And, like, I was the only person they invite, I don't know, like 30 of us. And, like, it's ayahuasca.
Starting point is 00:43:43 It's like you drink this stuff. You know what Iowa. I'm sure you do. I was stone cold sober. Didn't it feel a thing. That's your control. That's how powerful your control need is. Isn't that crazy?
Starting point is 00:43:54 Yes. No. I mean, it's yes and no crazy. Yeah. It's so interesting that your need for control can override ayahuasca. I was stone cold. And if you know anything about the place. place. It's four nights. You're there for four or five nights. And every night it gets stronger and
Starting point is 00:44:12 stronger and stronger. And it's me in a room full of 30 people. Everyone's barfing and going bathroom on me. I was like, it was so gross. And they don't let you leave. Like it's to stay in that area. Because it's like dangerous, I guess, if you wander around. And it was from like, I guess, nine o'clock at night until six in the morning and nothing was happening to me. And I was like, oh my God, when can I get out of this place? It was unbelievable. But that's because I was, like, I don't know why. I guess my brain is just not allowing me to do that. And I think I can't be the only one that happens to. No, I think there is some people in the world that psychedelics just, they have the genes that psychedelics don't. No, no, no, I'm not saying that,
Starting point is 00:44:52 but I'm saying that that had that, that hard control. Probably what it was is that your need, your drive for control is so strong that it just had the power to over, like the mind-body connection. It's amazing. Literally had the power to override the ayahuasca. Yeah. Have you ever had clients like that before? There's always a way. There's always a way. So sometimes it takes longer. Like, I'd have to work with you and figure out how you'll release that control.
Starting point is 00:45:15 I noticed when I said you can give yourself permission that you sunk down just a little bit. Only because I felt I had to because I was like being looked at. Like, I felt like, you know what to me? Like, I felt that was like what I had to do. Yeah. But your need for control is like a really strong drive. And what would it be like if you didn't need to have that control? No, I think, well, what I think is what I would find interesting is in like with people who have
Starting point is 00:45:36 type A personalities who really need the control, there has to be like something that you guys do, you or whoever, to like break through that. Because I cannot imagine I'm the only type A person in the world who's unable to like release that control, you know? No, you're right. Yeah. There's a lot of things that we can do. Yeah, not just with me, but I'm saying. In general. In general, right? Yeah. And so would you say a lot, like you work with, I would say like, how does this help people get over trauma? Right? When it's so deep-seated in them. Yeah, you can, a lot of times what I'll do is kind of called quantum leaping. Like we will go back and experience, like we'll go back in a relaxed state and experience that point
Starting point is 00:46:19 of trauma again and we'll reframe it because it's no longer happening. The only place it lives in our memory, if you change that memory a little bit, so you change the outcome. So there's a woman that like had this issue with her father and like really scary, really abusive really crazy issue we went back and and changed that experience that memory and then she couldn't remember it any other way things got a lot easier for her and i've done that a bunch of times where people have this kind of like memory of something we can go back quantum leap back into where that memory exists is in your mind and change it so that it has an outcome that you would want wow yeah
Starting point is 00:46:56 have you heard of something called somatic healing is that similar do you know somatic healing is like movement through your body. Oh. Yeah, which is awesome. But this is more of a hypnosis type of trans work. Okay, let's take a quick break to talk about something that's completely transformed how I approach design for my business. Do you know that moment when you need a logo or marketing materials or even a complete rebrand,
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Starting point is 00:48:42 level of creativity. Trust me. So besides the fact that you had this injury that kind of made you feel that you're not lovable. Yeah. Has there been anything else that kind of put you on this path of self-healing and transformation? I don't know what it was. I think I've just been made for it.
Starting point is 00:49:05 I think that we find our way. Yeah, like, but... I think it's just destined. Because you had this injury. When did this happen to you? I was 21. Right. And you didn't, like that,
Starting point is 00:49:16 you didn't naturally just go into this, right? No, I think it was my upbringing, my father, all those things, right? And then I think that another, another woo-woo thing but i think that you can tell me the woo-woo things just explain it yeah i believe that there's a book many lives many masters and i studied with this guy dr brian weiss and he talks about you know kind of past lives and like that we travel and there's and the buddhists believe this too that we we carry karma and karma that's my boston accent we carry karma to your lifetime to your
Starting point is 00:49:46 lifetime and i think that sometimes you're just meant for things like how could you possibly be as good at what you do right every time i see you're getting younger and more fit like leading more and more people who you talking to yeah there's something that is meant that is like in the stars written in your spiritual DNA so you think some things are just destined yes so you believe in destiny yes really i believe in i believe in a lot of that i also believe that i also believe and yeah tell me tell me don't just stop i believe in i believe in past lives I believe that I've been traveling this path for quite some time. Really?
Starting point is 00:50:24 Yes. And that you kind of just like took a like a pit stop in the VC world. I think that it was always in health though. It was actually. You also I remember, you know what I remember about you? You opened up like a next hell. I don't know what you called. You had like a like a spot.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Modern sanctuary. Yeah. Modern sanctuary. And it was like it was saunas. Yeah, salt baths. Salt room, an Himalayan salt room. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah. So I've always been in health and like mindset. And so there was a past life where I was a shaman. You think so? That's what I experienced when I was regressed into it. Really? How did you regress into that? It's through deep state of trance. And you remember yourself being in the... I remember myself being a shaman. Yeah. So then like, by the way, whatever happened to that place, modern sanctuary? COVID killed it. That's right. And what was it? It had the salt. fat, the salt. I had a 10,000 pound Himalayan salt room. I totally remember that now. You told me about that. What else did it have? Anything else in there? All the longevity stuff.
Starting point is 00:51:29 It had crystal healing sound beds and then it had red light. And we had like PMEF. Everything. All the good stuff. Like you had the best stuff I remember. Yeah. So yeah, like you, you were really doing a lot of different modalities in health, wellness, longevity for a long time. I still do all of the biohacking. Well, you do? I tried to, yeah. My sister opened a place called the parlor, which Next Health moved into. Oh, really? In New York? In New York. Okay, and what's the parlor? The parlor is like a space, a large space in New York City. It's that biohack, basically beauty experts and biohackers go and, you know, work out of, work out of. And so NextHealth has space there with, you know, a big space there that they set up with HBot.
Starting point is 00:52:18 and all the good cryo and all this stuff. Are you still do all that stuff? Yeah, so every time. So I will see some people in person. And then when I go to my sister's place and I'll just go into the next health playground. It makes me feel so good. I think that when you get your body optimized, then you can almost free your mind. I think all of this stuff goes hand in hand, right?
Starting point is 00:52:43 When you take care. Well, but not always. I know a lot of people take care of themselves physically, but then mentally they're just completely. completely like they're not interested. But I think part of like, I think as you get old, for me anyway, I think as I get older, I want to expand, I want to know more. I want to grow more. It's like personal development, like the whole personal development is like knowing how you can learn and push more, push, not push more, but push through your own self. Yeah. And like your own limitations. But I'm interested. Like how did, what kind of deep work or what kind of deep trance were you under hypnosis when you thought and, figured out that you were a shaman? Yeah, yeah. Really? Yes. And in fact, this guy who wrote the book, Dr. Brian Weiss, he's the one, he's like the most famous name for this. For this stuff? Yeah, he wrote a book called Many Lives, Many Masters, and he actually regressed me. And what happens when you, okay, so now that you know that, what does it do for you, like,
Starting point is 00:53:37 what does that mean? It's just, it's another puzzle piece. Exactly. Yeah. It's another puzzle piece. In his book, what he wrote with the patients that he had, they were like overcoming fears and phobias in this life because they understood that like they drowned in a past life and for me what it didn't do anything it didn't nothing it just you went up and you went to you went for lunch and got your yeah literally yeah so then you so now this is what you do like so you have like do have like a whole client list you see people one-on-one do you see only do you do groups like what's your thing I do groups so um what I found is that people really are attracted to this and they want this like whether they know it or they want personal development, right? And they go to like the Joe Dispensas
Starting point is 00:54:22 and the Tony Robbins and whomever it is. But they're always in a group of like 12,000 people. So many, yeah. Right. People love Joe Dispenza. I like him. You do? Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know him. Yeah. But I like him. You like him. I've done some of his retreats. You have. Yeah. Some of my friends who've gone to these retreats of his say that they've been like literally transformative. Yeah. Yeah, crazy stuff happens. Yeah. But do you think that someone has to be, like, be at a certain place in their life to even be open to it?
Starting point is 00:54:55 100%. Like, you can be, like, if you're, if you're, if you are skeptical, if you are closed off, is it just, it's like hard to penetrate that wall, right? Yeah. And so I run these groups and they're small so that I can give people personal attention and like, so you can actually have real healing. And the people that join these groups are open. to it. Open to it. Right?
Starting point is 00:55:17 I can't grab someone that is like not open to it. They're not ready for that level of expansion. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's not the crew that I'm looking for. I'm looking for someone who is experiencing difficulties and realizes there's the potential for something more by going deeper into something that they can't see. And you say it has to be consistent work, right, for healing. Part of it.
Starting point is 00:55:43 What are the, besides, okay, so we know the self-awareness, we know you've got to do it consistently. You've got to be consistently doing it. What is the work that people can do on their own to help heal themselves? Yeah. So like exercise is one of those things. Yeah, you said that. Right? For sure. One hundred percent. You know this. What comes first? The mind of the body. One or the other. They both is the mind-body experience. So if you're not. So exercise, but meditation, but not just simple meditation, like trance work or I really like deep trance work or hypnosis. That's another thing that you have to, you don't do it once and it's done, you keep going. Right. And you have realizations. Then you can do shadow work, which shadow work is like, right, you didn't tell me
Starting point is 00:56:22 what that is. Yeah. All right. Shadow work is like, I have all, like, my shadow came out with that story that I told about the envy and the jealousy. Envy and jealousy are your shadows. You're never getting rid of your shadow. Right. Ever. Do we all have envy as a shadow? I don't know. Maybe yours is guilt or shame. I don't know. How do we find what our shadow is? It's the results that you have in your life. So let's say, if you're in a love relationship, and you're super jealous of the, of whomever your partner is, ex-partner is, or they can't even go to like out to dinner and if they speak to someone that's of the opposite sex, like you freak out. So that's a, that, that fear, one that's fear of abandonment, all the things, those are your shadows. And it's like,
Starting point is 00:57:07 okay, I recognize that's in me, right? I recognize that I was jealous. of that guy doing really well. And that's my shadow. And so you're never going to remove your shadow completely, but you can integrate it and say, oh, I remember you. Right. And that's okay. That's okay. Give me another shadow. Okay. It's all the negative things, all the negative things. Sometimes, like, if you're confronted and you're out of control and you, like, become, like, totally a jerk, complete, you know, like a really, like, unkind person, right? That's one. So what would be the shadow? You're just Your unkindness. Your unkind?
Starting point is 00:57:43 Yeah, the shadow is, based on your fear of losing control, you become impatient and unkind. And so you can like, one, not have any awareness of that or feel guilty afterwards that you did that. Or you could say, listen, I know that this comes up in myself, it's my shadow, I'm going to make friends with it, I love you. That's okay. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then you continue on and it diminishes. Like it becomes less of a control over you. Because you're saying once you're aware of it, you're aware of it.
Starting point is 00:58:11 of it, it diminishes. If you work on it. Another shadow may be like, okay, you go on a date, you have sex with someone and then ghost them. So if you know the shadow, you work on it, how, I guess I'm always coming back to the actionable, practical, how do you work on it? Because I think, okay, most people are now at the place where they can at least recognize, I mean, yourself aware enough to know, but their shadow is. Okay. Besides exercise, because that's not going to, you can't exercise away your shadow. Yeah. You're working on it one way or another, whether you're like smoking cigarettes, watching TV and drinking, or you're like, oh, this just happened, it created a difficult emotion in me, and I'm going to examine that. I'm going to journal about it. I'm going to
Starting point is 00:58:54 think about it, and then I'm going to commit to changing or diminishing it. And that's like through acceptance. So unfortunately, you can't do push-ups for it. Right. You can't do push-ups for it. Right. It's like all mental. Yeah. It's, or just through the Costanza effect, which is just, do the opposite of what you normally would do. I love it. Bring it back. Yeah. I think we should bring it back. I think we should do a whole mastermind on it. I think you're right. We could do it together. We could. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Okay, I'm going to be that part. I'll bring that part into it. I love it. I love that. So that's how, okay, so basically it's self-awareness, recognizing what you're, like, what it is. Building self-awareness, recognizing, yep. And trying to do the opposite or stopping yourself from doing that same pattern. Acceptance. And then active change. acceptance. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Recognizing self-awareness, acceptance of it. Instead of being like, oh my God, I hate myself or I hate you, where all that stuff, it's like, all right, I get it. It's here. All right, fine. Love you anyways. And you're a jerk. Love you anyway.
Starting point is 00:59:55 Exactly. Okay, one more question and then I'm going to let you go. Okay. Can you talk about the power of gratitude? We all hear the word. It's a very hashtag friendly word, right? Why is it such a hashtag? friendly word. I think a lot of times people say have gratitude, be grateful, but it can like,
Starting point is 01:00:14 it's like basically a platitude if you don't really mean it. What happens when someone does show and feel gratitude? I know it happens like in myself. I know it happens in the people that I work with. You know, things immediately lift. When you when you look at what you have instead of what's missing, I mean, you can feel that change immediately when you're grateful for, you know, it's like looking at the outcome you want versus the one you don't. So I think, yeah, We talk about it a lot because it's an easy thing. So, and I feel like this is the problem. I think people like hold on to these like low hanging fruit,
Starting point is 01:00:46 like these very like hashtag friendly words, but there's no meaning behind it if you don't put meaning. They don't actually do it. They don't, most of people don't do it. Yeah. And it seems like, um, it's like body positivity, but everyone's not body positive for themselves, you know?
Starting point is 01:01:01 Or drink more water. And it's like, how is that actually going to help me? Yeah, exactly. I mean, you know why it's important. Exactly. I think gratitude, I think gratitude, like, drink more water.
Starting point is 01:01:10 I like that. So if you actually drink a glass of water a day, you'll see your skin and your body and everything change. Right. That's true. So your point is, like, you have to actually do the thing to see what the result is and to get the benefit from it. Yeah, if you're like, be grateful. And they do nothing to be great. And then you don't, like, then you're not happy with anything that you have.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Like, so what I, what is, be happy with what you have, not with, there's a whole saying behind it. I don't remember it. But I think that's part of it, like implementation. That's where I get very hung up on, right? People can say it whatever they want to say, but then they have to implement to have any of the real benefit. I agree. And it's like, okay, so the gratitude practice is like writing three in the morning and three
Starting point is 01:01:53 at night. It's like, oh, yeah, that's like doing three pushups in the morning and three at night. Yeah. It's like then throughout the day, every time a negative feeling comes up, you need to switch to gratitude. That's what builds the muscle. Do you know what I like about people like you? even like this is where I think because as I'm talking to you and I'm thinking like how does this
Starting point is 01:02:10 actually work in real time in real life I think having someone like you in some as a coach or something it's it's the accountability aspect too right like you become accountable to yourself to make better decisions make better behavior do better behaviors for yourself because it's like a constant reminder you know like this is something like someone like you for I'm just trying to think how it works with people who are like strong will and da da da da da da da it's like you're a good balance and a reminder for people like you know what like make sure you're aware make sure you're accept maybe make sure you accept it like maybe and then you do these like tweaks with the with the hypnosis and these are all like tools right like the sauna it's all tools you know they're all
Starting point is 01:02:53 just tools that help you get to what you need like even if you're just a little bit better like it's not about being 100% healed but if even if you're like 2% healed Who's ever healed? I mean, God bless. I mean, God bless. I mean, I can't imagine. But even if you're 1% healed, 2% healed, it's at least spread than 0%. Yeah, every day one step. That's it. Every day, one step, mind and body. To a much better, that you take one step and the next step follows until you're in a much better life. I think, I think from that to me is like what my takeaway is. It's like having people around or like you who remind people that they can change their belief system.
Starting point is 01:03:33 their identity and they can become unstuck, even if it's like uncomfortable, but like, it's a good reminder of, of how to do it. My goal is only to just open, if I can just open up thought and the, the, the, um, the NLP part, I think is really good. Yeah. Open up the potential for just some small shift to greater. That's it. That's all I need.
Starting point is 01:03:56 So, Jim, where do people find you? Jim Curtis one. I have a group starting soon, probably not when this comes up. So Jim Curtis 1 is a great way to find me. You buy my books on Amazon, Shift, and the Stimulati experience. And I want TikTok and stuff, but Instagram's the best. Instagram, TikTok, Jim Curtis 1. How big are your groups, by the way, when you do what you said?
Starting point is 01:04:19 Like these... I'll keep them with 35 people. 35 people. Wow. It's a lot of people. And where do you do them? They're online. They're virtual groups.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Oh, they're all virtual groups. Yeah, but we'll meet in person once, usually. in New York City. So people come in from all of the world. You can do it at the parlor. Yeah. It's not big enough. I mean, the parlor is huge, but the rooms are divided out. Are small. Yeah. Well, thank you. And the books. Hey, I want to just say one thing. Yeah. I'm really grateful for you. Why? Why did you just say that? Because I think that you shared your energy with me and you allowed me on this show. And like what I had in this experience is like, I like you a lot and I'm grateful for you. Oh my God. You're so sweet. Do you say that to everybody
Starting point is 01:04:58 after the podcast? No. I feel the same way. You're such a sweet. I'm so happy you came on the show. You know, and I don't, like I said this earlier. Like a lot of these things I feel are like above my head, like above my pay grade in a way. Like I don't quite understand it. I so desperately want to try.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Because I'm so wrapped up in like practical, practical, practical, real, real, real, like tangible. Tangible is the work I was looking for. That when I meet people like you who really, really are doing it in an authentic way, it really, like I can feel myself getting closer to like understanding it. The problem is I find a lot of people are are snake oil salesmen in this business and they are not doing it for the right reasons or they're not living the real like
Starting point is 01:05:44 they pretend but they don't really live like they're not really living that way. So when I meet people like you, that's why I said like I'm really happy that I met you and you came on this show because you really are genuinely that person. I can feel it in my gut. Oh, thank. It's true. And you look like John Stamos, so it doesn't hurt either, but that's a whole other story. But thank you for being here. I do. I really appreciate it. Thank you. You're welcome.

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