Habits and Hustle - Episode 548: The Trick To Doing Things You Don't Feel Like Doing

Episode Date: April 24, 2026

The problem was never that you didn't know what to do. It's that you keep letting the version of you who doesn't feel like doing it cast the deciding vote. That's the trap. We make decisions based on how we feel before the thing, instead of how we'll feel after it.  And before anything hard, the feeling is always the same: tired, unmotivated, full of reasons to wait. If that's the voice you're listening to, of course you're stuck restarting. You've handed the mic to the wrong version of yourself. We try to fix this with more discipline, more motivation, or another reset on Monday. None of it works for long, because none of it changes the question you're asking yourself in the moment that actually matters. In this episode of Habits & Hustle, I break down the one question that changed how I show up for the gym, the hard conversations, and everything I'd rather put off. No system. No reset. Just a different way to decide. You don't need more motivation. You need to stop letting the wrong version of you decide.  Let's dive in! What's Discussed: (01:16) The one shift in focus that changes how you make every hard decision. (02:06) Why chasing happiness directly is the reason you never feel it. (03:08) The backwards way we wait for motivation to show up. (04:08) What the gym actually proves about every other thing you avoid. (04:52) The pattern hiding inside one-night stands, tequila, and skipped workouts. (07:41) Why the conversations you're putting off are costing you more than having them. (08:55) The reason rumination makes you suffer twice and how to stop the loop. (09:56) The feeling that should actually drive your decisions (and the one that shouldn't). Thank you to my sponsors!Kion: Visit getkion.com/habits for 20% off. AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code HUSTLE to get up to $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty (an $84 value) FREE! AX3®: Visit www.AX3.life to get a 20% discount on your first order with promo code HUSTLE at checkout. Magic Mind: Head over to www.magicmind.com/jen and use code JEN at checkout. Find more from Jen:  Website: https://jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: https://jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: https://jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagements

Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. And here we are. Solo episode. We're just, I don't know, just shooting the shit over here with Shawnee. And on like literally the most mundane, like unimportant shit, my hair. And if it's darker or lighter than it used to be. So what do you guys think? Yeah, so what do you think? And I got a little bit of a trim. That's basically the big conversation topic. Are you going to tune out and just move on to the next thing? No, I'm joking. Okay. Let's move on. Let's talk about something that I was thinking about last night, which is this idea of what you focus on. I think this is actually really interesting because I like to focus on things that I think about not how I feel before I do something, but how I will feel after I do something. Right? So I don't allow how I feel before to shape and decide. what I'm going to do because a lot of times the things that you are like that you feel bad about later are the things that you were going to feel good about before and the things that you kind of like feel like you don't want to do actually make you feel better after so focus on how you feel

after something not how you feel before something like exercise right no one would ever say they felt worse after working out but they would say they felt worse at after drinking, you know, a leader of tequila. But at the time they decided to do it, they were super excited and excited and happy, and they felt really good about it, and it was going to be a good time. And then they do it, and they felt like shit after.

So think about those things, because if you focus on health versus happiness, you know, health leads you to happiness, as opposed to like focusing on being happy, being happy, but not doing any of the right steps and making the right choices and doing the right decisions to get you to that place. I love that. Wait, that's so great.

This idea of, I think so many people are waiting to feel good before they pursue a lot of these things. Yeah, they're waiting to. Not thinking that pursuing these things will lead you to feeling good. Right. That's the whole thing. Like, you switch it on its head, right? We're all waiting for this moment when we feel happy and feel a certain way to then go after something or do something versus what I just said. which is this idea that you focus on being mentally healthy, physically healthy, in relationships

that are healthy, and all of those things will end up morphing into happiness by doing the things that make you happy in all of those pursuits. So don't focus on how you feel at that moment. Think about how you feel after that thing. That's such good motivation. Well, it's actually a really good practice for motivation with the gym, like sitting there thinking to yourself, okay, I obviously don't want to go. But how am I going to feel? And like self-talk your way through going to the actual gym. And the gym is like one example. But I think the gym is a good example because I mean at this point, like a lot of times I don't want to go to the gym. Like there's a million things I'd rather do than work out, right? Because, you know, I'm tired. I have no energy. I have a laundry list of things

to do. Laundry being maybe one of them, you know. And if I focus on all of those things, then it doesn't behoove me. Versus if I focus on how I feel after the fact, like, I feel great after I work out that I'm going to have the energy to actually do all those other things and pursue all those other things. But it's also, like I said, it's about like pursuing anything. The focus is always on the before and never on the after, right? Like I said, the one-night stand or drinking a, you know, a leader of, you know, a leader of

tequila, all these things that will make you feel like shit after. I would die with a leader of tequila. I'm just making that up. Physically die. Well, yeah, well, I don't drink that much. I just think, like, the drinking to me, drinking to me is so gross. Like, I don't understand how it's such a popular pastime because in the moment, it's like, that only thing is good about in the moment, but really soon thereafter, it's gross. You can't sleep well. It's bloating. You feel gross. like you get a headache. I mean, what is the attraction so much? I love the feeling of being drunk,

but I literally hate the taste of alcohol so much more than I love the feeling of being drunk that I refuse to drink it because it's so gross. See, I guess, okay, I just answered my own question. I literally hate the taste of alcohol so much that I have to basically, it's like it's so hard to even to drink a drink for me because the taste is so gross. But I guess there are people actually like the taste. There are. So if you like the taste, I mean, if you like the taste, it makes more sense to me.

Or it's like it's a social lubricant, right? People rely on alcohol as like a social lubricant, right? Because it makes everything much easier and it's you lose your inhibitions. You can talk to the people that you otherwise would feel uncomfortable to talk to. It will make you feel more comfortable on your skin. But really soon that fine line turns really quickly where you become sloppy. And, you know, you're drooling and your mouth is dry. And it's, there's like, it doesn't last that long.

Like the good effect, the happiness part, doesn't last that long. The repercussions are so much worse. I feel like inhibitions are good, at least for me. Like, I need some. Like, I need something to shove me up just a little bit. Well, you need some boundary. Yeah. So Shawnee has no filter and very little boundary.

I actually have a lot of filter. I don't say a lot that comes out of my mind. I just have so much to say. I honestly probably spew like 2% of what I'm thinking. Really? Yeah, yeah. Only 2%. It's not shocking. It's not shocking considering how much I spew that it's only 2%.

Wow. I know. I give myself a headache just with my own self-talk. Oh my gosh. That is for it. So yeah. So anyway, those are my two cents on what you should be focusing on or like how you should think of what you should focus on.

I like it. Do want to add anything? Well, I had a question for you. What are some other examples other than working out? I was trying to think in my head. Think like having hard conversations is one of them? No, I think that, no, a couple other things. I said like, you know, alcohol and drinking.

Right, right, right. You make poor decisions when you're out. Also, I should forgot about that, but you make poor decisions when you usually have drink. Oh, yeah. How do we not mention that? That's like the worst part of it. Like, like I said, the one I stand was just one brand of, or sleeping, whatever, like hooking up with some, whatever it is.

I don't know what it is, but it's just one way that that can kind of show itself. So what are things that make you feel good after? Those are things that make you feel bad. Like what's something that's really hard before, but that makes you feel good, kind of like exercise. Like I think having difficult conversations with people and, you know, procrastinating and putting them off. And then when you actually do it, you feel really relieved after. And usually things are never as bad as you think it will be. Like a lot of times, like we tend to like overthink something, something to be so horrible.

Like in our heads, everything seems much more awful. worse, daunting. And then when it actually happens, it's never as bad as what you thought it was going to be. That's so true. Right? Like, it's never as bad, but we tend to, like, we ruminate. Rumination is awful. It's the worst, because then you actually suffer twice. You suffer while you're ruminating the entire time leading up to it. And then you have to have the conversation, which is also a bit of suffering. But it also, like, just, it sets you up for more of rumination, right? Because rumination equals more rumination because then you procrastinate and the fear of doing something just makes you ruminate about it more versus if you just like do it and get it done and then

realize that it wasn't as bad as you actually thought it would be. So that would be one, having difficult conversations. Procrastinating is a good one because it's like, you know, it's schoolwork. I always had this, especially with like essays and stuff. I'd put it off for so long because it felt good not to do it right now. Or anything hard. Then it's just going to wait. I just think in any, I think the point that I'm trying to make is doing anything that's will weigh you down at the beginning beforehand, and you'll think of all the reasons why not to do something because it's difficult. It's not easy. It's hard. All the other euphemisms. But once you actually do it, the feeling of accomplishment after is so much better than the feeling of that uncomfortable

feeling before. So if you can just focus on that feeling afterwards, that's how you should make your decision, not around the not wanting or uncomfortable or how you feel prior. Let's just leave it at that because we're just like talking about the same thing over and over again. I like it. I think this is actually really important. Yeah. I did it. Well, should we say goodbye? Yeah, subscribe, like, follow. Subscribe to the podcast, like and follow. That's it. Thank you. Bye.