Habits and Hustle - Episode 578: Attention, Comparison, and the Hidden Cost of Reality TV

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

Can being obsessed with other people's lives distract you from living your own? Reality TV can feel like harmless entertainment. You watch the drama, follow the relationships, and debate who was right or wrong. But when people become deeply invested in edited storylines, compare themselves to strangers, or attack contestants online, it reveals something bigger about where we are putting our attention. The more time we spend watching other people live, the less energy we may have for building a life of our own. Entertainment can be a way to unwind, but your attention is still one of your most valuable resources. Reality shows are designed to manipulate emotions, create villains, and keep audiences coming back. We rarely see the full story, yet people make sweeping judgments based on a few edited moments. The better question may be: Is this helping me recharge, or is it pulling me further into comparison, distraction, and negativity? In this episode of Habits and Hustle, I break down why Love Island has become such a cultural phenomenon, what reality TV reveals about modern dating and self-respect, how edited storylines influence the way we judge people, why online audiences have become so cruel, and why we need to spend less time watching other people live and more time investing in our own lives.   What's Discussed: (02:12) Why "I do not have time" often means something is not a real priority. (04:51) Why women are often held to a higher standard and expected to answer for men's behavior. (07:12) Why Love Island's constant stream of new episodes keeps audiences deeply invested. (10:42) How reality TV became a launchpad for fame, brand deals, and influencer careers. (11:43) Why audiences are easily manipulated by edited storylines and manufactured drama. (13:21) What Love Island reveals about self-respect, dating standards, and knowing when to walk away. (15:25) Why reality dating shows mirror the confusion and unhealthy patterns of modern dating. (16:38) Why people are drawn to honesty when so much media and social content feels performative. (18:04) How producers turn nonstop footage into emotional storylines designed to provoke viewers. (19:45) How comparison and consuming other people's lives can distract you from building your own.   Thank You to Our Sponsors! Magic Mind: Head over to magicmind.com/jen and use code JEN at checkout. Momentous: Ready to try supplements that actually do what they claim? Head to livemomentous.com and use code JEN for 35% off your first subscription.  Therasage: Visit therasage.com and use code JEN to get 15% off your order. Your skin Prolon: Prolon is offering listeners 30% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their 5-Day Program! Just visit prolonlife.com/JENNIFERCOHEN and use code JENNIFERCOHEN to claim your discount and your bonus gift. Kion: Visit getkion.com/habits for 20% off. Tru Niagen®: For supplements that are rigorously tested, third-party verified, and actually deliver what's on the label, head to truniagen.com   Find more from Jen Cohen:  Website: jennifercohen.com Instagram: @therealjencohen Books: jennifercohen.com/books Speaking: jennifercohen.com/speaking-engagements  

Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. Hello, everybody. And welcome to another solo episode of Habits and Hustle, where I'm today joined with one of my favorite foilers, Johnny Suisa. But before we get into it, you guys, I'm always remiss and I want to make sure I start by telling you guys, if you have not yet subscribed, please hit the subscribe button on whatever platform you were listening to this podcast because we're watching this podcast. because it makes a massive difference. And I've been told by many people that I keep on forgetting, which is true. And so I am now going to try to make a conscious effort to say before every episode, if you like what you hear, please subscribe. It just makes a big difference with the algorithm.

So with that being said, I appreciate it. Thank you for being a listener or a watcher. And let's get into the episode. Shawnee? Hello. Okay, so today we're going to be covering something that I actually it's like a phenomenon that I have been very, I don't know, I've been like completely vacant on, which is this whole phenomenon on Love Island. It's like a whole thing.

It's a whole thing. Am I the only person not watching it that has absolutely zero idea of what's going on with this whole thing? No, I think a lot of people don't watch it, but honestly it's just, it's a phenomenal show. What? But different seasons, different seasons create better or worse seasons. Like it's not, they're not all equal. Like genuinely, there are some summers where Love Island is horrible, and you just stop watching. Okay, give me, hold on. Now you just, you just caught me off guard. How many seasons are there?

On the UK one, they're in the teens. They're like a season 15 or something? Oh, my God. So am I literally living under a rock? Yeah, I mean, it's been going on for a long time. I've been watching the UK Love Islands in season one. Okay, so this is the thing. I don't have time to watch reality TV.

I was never, I watched like the Real Housewives, probably the first two or three seasons for the New York one, maybe like 100 years ago. Oh, wow. I don't have time. I would like to put it out there. Like, who has time? If you have kids and a career and all these things, who has time to watch reality TV? Well, you would say the same thing about people who don't have time to work out. No, I wouldn't because that is really good for your mind and body. But to some people, that's a priority. Entertainment is a priority. Hold on. Reality TV is a priority. How does it make you better? To some people, they prioritize entertainment. And so it's just a matter of, okay, okay. I think what you have time for in life is just a matter of what you prioritize.

Okay. Yes, true. But I'm going to have to stop you there because if you can actually sit here with a straight face and tell me watching reality TV is the same kind of situation as like exercising, it's completely different. No, I'm saying it's a matter of prioritizing. I'm saying you ask the same question to a lot of people who say, I don't have time to work out. I'm a parent. I can't do this. So many moms say that all the time or so many parents say that all the time.

How, when you have kids, can you possibly get to the gym every day? Everybody uses that. So a lot of people would say the same thing. I think the response is the same response to both of those questions. Okay. Let me just. In life, you have time for what you make time for. That is true. And I will have to agree with you on that. But I will say the benefits of what you get from working out are very much out what happens when you watch reality when they're fighting and competitiveness and all these things. Okay, so that's the first thing. And I understand that people will watch it maybe kind of just to tune out and kind of just have something like just to kind of get their mind off of whatever. stress is in their in their life okay with that being said is love island like the biggest reality show right now whatever happened to like real housewives or below deck and all these other shows

it's hard to say what the biggest is because when you're in it and you're in the fandom and you're like seeing all like your algorithm is so full of that stuff then for you it's bigger but i i don't necessarily think i don't i don't think is the bachelor still on that's a good question actually they did cancel a season of the bachelorette with frankie oh i saw taylor paul or something like that and She's the Mormon girl, right? Yeah, but I thought that was the craziest thing because they air movies, TV, sports games with plenty of people who've been accused and convicted of so many things. And yet this one woman who like threw a chair at a guy who's honestly super abusive already,

like now has her entire season taken off. Also, it's reality TV. I don't want to see the morally ethical like beacons of life on reality TV. True. I'm looking for messy. Like air that season. The fact that they haven't aired that season is crazy. Well, I think it's because of the backlash they'll get.

No, but they get so many viewers. Oh, the money they'd made. Wait, but hold on, hold on. This is a really good topic, and I'll tell you why. I know, this for whatever reason I do know, because this is such so in the zeitgeist. I think why that was different is that she, the girl, whatever her name is, I think that not only just she throw a chair at the guy, but she did it in front of her kid. So I thought they thought that was like somewhat of abusive or, you know, very traumatic for a kid,

But again, a lot of these same guys and men, I mean, the NFL literally is playing out every single game with at least somebody who's like been, you know, accused of serious domestic abuse. Like there's so many NFL, that's true. Ridiculous. But I think ABC is a network that has to have. ABC that airs football. Are they the, are they, who does NFL football? I don't know, but they play. Who does Monday night football, as you say?

I'm just saying, I'm just saying all these, all these networks are the same and they just will cancel some. but like they just so frequently women are held to such a higher account than so many of these guys who get away with so many more things. I mean, the fact that like all the wives of the men in the Epstein list are the ones who are being asked the questions about their husbands, I find so funny. But yet none of the husbands are being asked any questions. Like, it's just hilarious. That's a great point. I'm like, what the hell did Melinda do? Like, this is just weird.

Oh, my gosh. We live in an upside-down world. That is another great point. This is why I like you as my foil because you have an opinion on everything. I do. And a good one at that, I think. I think that's actually very, I feel like that whole Epstein thing is very, it's become a very tired topic. But at the same time, it's extremely relevant.

And I think everybody just tries, not everybody, there's certain people who in the upper echelons just keep on trying to like put it under the rug. But yet I think that's 100% true. Like, why, you're right, you're saying like, you're seeing Hillary Clinton. on being like basically cross-examine like she's a criminal who murdered seven people. Right. You see Melinda having to do it. But yet I haven't seen one thing about, I haven't seen Bill Gates. No, not one.

Well, I actually, that's not true. I have seen Bill Gates. I haven't seen Bill Clinton very often doing it. Well, I think. I haven't seen either. I still, I've seen Bill Clinton on a few different social clips. But yeah, I think that that's an actually valid point. But I do think it's, of course, it's like very flipped.

But we're like, we're, this is a whole other podcast for a whole other day. I know, I know. Back to reality TV. I can't tell you if Love Island's the biggest one, but I will say that it airs every single night. It's like five days a week that are fresh episodes. And so I think... Every night? Yeah.

And there's also the U.S. and UK seasons happening simultaneously. So I feel like that just culminates into a ton of social content, which then makes it feel like it's the biggest reality show right now. Oh, my God. Because that's why. Because I always see these clips that are referencing Love Island, and I have no clue what they're talking about at any given time. So you're telling me it's on every night. Like a gate, it's kind of like jeopardy. It's like the new jeopardy or the new Wheel of Fortune. Yeah, it's every night except for like Wednesdays. It's not on. It's very sad on Wednesdays.

And also there's one episode each week that's like a recap show. It's like an after sun thing. Where is, what network is it on? So the UK one is on Hulu and the U.S. one is on Peacock. And why they're on separate networks is beyond me. Really? Yeah. So which one's better? The production of the UK is significantly better. I mean, they started the show. They get the premise better. I think the U.S. production actually had somebody pass away on their production team this season.

And I don't know if... What is the premise? Can you please tell me what the premise of the show is? Is everyone on an island? Yeah, but I will say the U.S. team, like, I think that they took a toll on that production team. And I think it was worse this season because of that. I mean, that's my theory. So the premise is you go on to a, you're in a villa with a bunch of other hot people.

And you're meant to couple up with somebody. And the idea is to find, like, your person on this, you know. Island. Yeah, during the summer. This is like the most cookie cutter situation. It's the same thing on the bachelor or the same thing on all these other things. It's like you have to find a couple. And if you're, if you're single, then you're vulnerable.

And you can only recouple during recoupling ceremonies. And sometimes, you know, if the boys pick or the new people pick, then you're kind of like shut out of luck and you don't have control over the situation. So you might even be sent home even if you're like with somebody and really connected with that. Like there's so many different. I thought you just said that the whole thing is that when you get there, you have to couple up. Right. But let's say, for example, there's a recoupling ceremony.

What does that mean? That's when they choose their couples. Like every few days or whatever, there's a recoupling ceremony where they get to either stay in their couple or recouple. But it's not just like, you know, anybody gets to choose and it's all fair. Sometimes the guys pick, sometimes the girls pick, and almost always the newest people that they send into the villa get to choose first. So let's say somebody comes into the villa and they really like. like the guy that you've been with for the last two weeks, and there's a recoupling, and they get to choose first. They might choose your guy. Now you're up there waiting to see who's going to pick

you and maybe nobody's going to because you've been with this guy for a few weeks. You know what I mean? But can he say no and say, I want to stay with this girl? No. No. He has to then recouple with them. He could like quit the show and leave if his person like gets sent home, which has happened a couple times. But not frequently. Really? People are in it for the fame more. So they want to stay. Oh my gosh. This is actually, it's kind of like Survivor, but in for dating. Ironically, they film the U.S. season on the same island as Survivor films. And so they sometimes have reported that they can hear like Survivor contestants from one of their like things can hear the Love Island people while they're filming like partying and stuff. So imagine you're starving on Survivor dying and you hear a literal party happening on the villa of Love Island like, you know, across the way.

Can you just jump over the ocean? No, but how hilarious is that? That is crazy. They're both on Fiji, yeah. Yeah. But the thing with the show is it's changed so much over the years in terms of like the, just the quality of the actual dating aspect of it all because it becomes so much more of a launch pad for people's careers. Seasons one, two, and three of the UK were something else. Seasons one and two, they had absolutely no idea that they were going to get famous going into that show.

Season one, honestly. Who about famous? Is there anyone I know that's famous from that show? I mean, I don't know if you would know them. I'm so out of touch. But there's a lot of people from that show that have, they've got mega careers. Anybody from the UK from the first, like, they're millionaires now. They all make so much money.

Mora Higgins, all these people, they make so much money. In the UK, they became like these celebrities of the UK. Like Love Island was the craziest launch pad for people. And so became like a lot more about the clout. But actually, there's a few couples from one, two, and three that are still together, which is pretty amazing. How do you win? Is it a game? Yeah.

So technically you can win, but it's only $100,000. But what's the game? And they make so much more after that in brand deals. It's like not even funny. No, I know. But what's the, like, what is like the goal? America votes for their favorite couple. But America always votes for the most annoying couples.

They're so wrong. Their opinions are always so obnoxious. I actually can't stand the audiences often. I find that they're so, they're so easily manipulated. The audience is, I can just like predict everything that they're going to think. And honestly, it always sucks. Like, it just always sucks. And they're so mean.

I've never seen such a cruel audience. Three people from Love Island to date have killed themselves because of the turmoil and the insanity that comes from the fan base of the show. Yeah, one of the hosts, Caroline Flack, she killed herself. These were more early days, though. And this guy, Mike and this woman Sophie, Sophie was on season two, I believe. And Mike was season three. Because they were getting such bad, like, they were getting such insane hate. Bullying from?

Yeah. Mike's nickname to the public was Muggy Mike, which in the UK to be a Muggy, or like to be mugged off means you were like embarrassed or you were, you know, whatever, rejected by someone publicly or whatever it is. And that was like his nickname to the public. I mean, this guy went through it from the fan base. That's horrible. Yeah. Do they have a golden love island? Like they have golden bachelor? No, but that would be so funny. I would love to see that. That's actually a really interesting idea. Right? I think so because I feel like they do that for, I mean, they do that for The Bachelor, but I don't know how successful it is. I don't know if

that part of the franchise is doing as well as the OG one. I don't know. I watched a couple of episodes. I didn't love it. I was like, this is cute, but whatever. Well, yeah, because you're not interested in old people. I'm just like, but I think the right cast could be good. Let me take a quick break to tell you about something that has genuinely changed how I performed throughout the day. For years, I just assumed that my mental sharpness had a ceiling, that by mid-afternoon, I was running on fume, slower to think, harder to, to focus and even a little more irritable than I wanted to be. And I never really thought that a supplement

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I will say one last thing, though, that I think is important on the current season's big differentiations between UK and U.S. that I've noticed within the actual cast. For Love Island, yeah. Yeah. The women on the UK season have been incredible at just being like, fuck you. I'm not taking anything from any of these guys who are going to disrespect me or be rude or whatever. They just move on. They are so blunt. They're in their faces.

They're like, they call things out. There's this one girl from Scotland. I forget her name right now, but she's incredible. And really, they've shown such a high standard. Yeah, self-respect. It's been phenomenal to watch. The U.S. season, I actually have been honestly sadden to see. Like, there are literally girls in there who are encouraging their girlfriends in there to stay with guys who have just been absolutely atrocious to them, walking all over them, lying to their face. And it's just been so disorienting.

And the one girl in there who actually did stand up for herself all the time and did walk away and did like, you know, speak up for herself and have self-respect is the one girl who all the fans seem to hate for no reason and who all of the girls in the villa were giving her. Kenzie. I love her. I mean, I just find that the fan base itself really needs to like take a look at itself before it engages online because some of these things that they put are crazy. A few of the U.S. people came back and deactivated their Instagrams right away because they were. getting too much hate. Really? Yeah.

Crazy. So why do you think this show is like such a phenomenon more than like I know you're saying. So what I'm kind of hearing from you is it's because it's on five days a week. Yeah. So the volume of shows is also you have UK and the U.S. seasons are on together. Okay. But besides those logistics, is there anything else about the show that you think kind of mimics or like kind of mirrors or something that's going on in our zygai's ice that makes people,

because I think in the real world, no one's really dating. So it's funny that everyone's on this love on this island dating, but in real life, nobody's going out with each other. Well, I think, yes, I, there is things that are happening in the zeitgeist that happen in the show. And so I do think that's why it resonates a lot. But no one's dating, but they're still trying. Like people are out here wanting love.

Everybody wants love. And so they're watching a lot of the things that happen in the real world happen on Love Island. It's kind of like a microcosm for the shitty dating world of today. Yes, I totally agree with you. And you see it. You see it. But you also see the way that, you know, it's like this girl, Melanie, right?

She's on the U.S. season. And she's been so battered by this guy. And you can just see the light completely dissipate from her face from episode one to the end. And I think a lot of people can relate to that feeling. And so, you know, while we can all kind of get on her case about staying with him or doing this, so many people find themselves in a lot of these stories. And it pulls you in. It really does. Well, anything is like it's an emotional, it's what do you call it?

Everything like that pulls on your heart screen or curiosity of what's going to happen. But I just find, again, that that's the one show I hear all about. The other one I hear a lot about is love on the spectrum. Have you heard of this one? Yeah. This one is so popular. So great. People love it because it's so honest and earnest.

Yeah. Have you seen that one? Yeah, I've watched a few episodes. I love how blunt they are. Well, that's the thing. People love it because it's like real. Because most of everything else you're watching is so contrived, so performative. And that's one show that you probably cannot be performative or contrived because they are who they are. Right.

So people love it though. People find it to be super endearing. It's like probably the number one show on Netflix. It's great. It's fun to watch people just speak their truth without any regard for anything else. Like they are just on it. They'll sit down and they'll be like, I don't like you. I love it.

I just like me actually. And they're like, I don't like you too. I'm not having fun. Let's leave. You know, like they're just so, I mean, they just tell it how it is. I love it. Sounds like you too. It's great.

I'm telling you, like, maybe that's why I like resonate with, like, that's the one show. I'm like, oh, I would maybe watch that episode. Okay, so what else is there to say about Love Island? Is there any kind of, or anything about the reality world, like reality TV? You know, well, you know, I used of a podcast up. about reality TV for so long. No, I had no idea, actually. So Saniak podcast was about MTV's The Challenge, and we would cover other reality shows. But I will just say, like, this goes across the board for all reality TV. The audience needs to just take a beat. Like, they need to take the biggest beat

possible because they have to understand how much production goes into making and entertaining. You're filming people 24 hours a day, and you're giving us the juiciest juice. And you're trying to make it a storyline that is going to fire us up. as an audience, the audience just eats it up and they feed into all of the crazy things. So like death threads and hate and this, that, and the other, you know, it's just par for the course for a lot of these people who go on these shows. And it's kind of sad to see. So I will just, I will end off on that. Like, I think that is one of the most important takeaways that the viewers need to just come home with. If you're like on threads out there, I'm always on threads. I get all these

threads suggestions. Who A has the interest or the time? You'd be surprised. even like comment on this shit. I mean, they get deep. I don't get. They start attacking family. Then these people need to get a life. I mean, I am just, again, you can say whatever you want and you can say that, you know, whatever you people, everyone prioritizes different things.

But if this is your priority to watch reality TV, you need to take a hard look at yourself. And then if you're someone also who feels the need to comment, like comment and bully somebody, that's even more pathetic. I just think all of this is like, look, like kind of like work on yourself. I don't even know how people, like I said, I'm going to start the podcast. I'm going to end the podcast the way I started the podcast, which is I don't know where people find the time. I honestly do not. Maybe because I'm too busy working out in the gym, five hours a day.

No, I'm joking. I do not. So no, don't come after me. But what I'm saying is like this is like the, this is like the demise of, I think, our society and culture is that we, it's, uh, comparison all day. It's feeling, it's feeling less than. It's looking at other people living their lives as opposed to living our own life. And so to me, this is just another example of how we get too invested in other people and not enough, not invested enough on what we're doing and how we're doing it. So with that being said, maybe next time you want to watch Love Island, maybe listen to a Habits and Hustle

podcast. Thank you, Shawnee. We're going to end it there, unless you have anything else you want to add. No, I think that was good. I think just, you know, you can watch a show, but just do so with grace. Be kind. That wasn't my point. But, okay, thank you. And goodbye, everyone. Have a wonderful day or night, depending on when you're listening or watching. And don't forget to subscribe.