Habits and Hustle - Who Should You Really Be Taking Advice From?

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

Should you be taking advice from just about everyone? In this solo episode of Habits & Hustle, I chat about the current phenomenon on social media where it seems like just about everyone is an expert on something and giving advice on the said subject of expertise. While some advice may be good, the reality is that not everyone who is giving out advice is qualified to do it and not every piece of advice you hear is advice you should follow. What we discuss: 01:25: Is it possible for everyone to be an expert? 03:23: Where should you seek advice? 09:27: What’s the problem with experts on social media? 12:20: Are real experts really on social media? 17:33: What is Schadenfreude? My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I got this Tony Robbins you're listening to Habits in Hustle, Crescent. Welcome to another solo episode of Habits in Hustle. And before we of course dive into the next topic, I want to make sure that you guys, if you're listening to the podcast, it would be so helpful if you have not yet subscribed to please subscribe. It makes a big big difference in the algorithm and getting more people to know that we exist. And it's just something we really appreciate, right? Right, Shawnee? Mm-hmm. And for those of you who do listen, we have Shawnee the foil. Hello! Joining us. And I really wanted to explore a topic that I've been thinking a lot about,

especially because of social media. And that is like the whole concept and idea around advice. Everybody is an advice giver. If, you know, the more you scroll with Instagram, I mean, every second reel is someone doling out at vice, which got me really annoyed because I feel like that has become like the new like the new like ether we're living in, right? Everyone's an expert. Everybody's a

guru. Everyone knows everything about everything, which is just such garbage. And I wanted to talk about this because it's impossible for everybody to know everything, to be an expert in everything. And people have to have more discernment of where they're seeking out advice from. And this goes with everything in life. It is business, it is personal, it is everything. So I wanted to talk with this.

I read a couple articles recently about the fact that I am not the only one who feels this way if you could believe it. I'm actually very upset about the fact that this has become such a trend and a thing in ethos about everyone being an expert in a guru because if people don't have the wherewithal to know, then they're really getting advice from the wrong people who have no business in the world giving you advice. So like if you are someone who is seeking true advice from somebody, make sure that the person that you're talking to has done whatever that thing is before. And there's other like things that you should that should qualify you as an expert, right?

Because it's actually, I think that advice actually expires. There's a finite amount of time and characteristics that actually think that that that advice even qualifies. Wouldn't you agree? I think that's exactly how almost every single millennial and Gen Z feels when their parents instruct them to just buy a house, settle down, do what they did, get a steady job. And it's like absolutely ridiculous advice for this economy and for this world. We're in a different time. Right. The average homeowner back in the day was like 20-something years old.

The average homeowner now is literally their 40s. That's a crazy difference in the staff and it's only in a few decades time span that that difference has occurred. So like the advice that a lot of people give so many younger generations, I just don't think they realize it doesn't apply. And that's also why I feel so passionate about the idea that the people leading the charge in a lot of areas need to be in touch with what's happening today whether it be that they're younger or that they're just like really aware of what's happening. So you know, it's very interesting that you said that because one of the points that I was going to talk about where to get advice from is exactly that.

If you're seeking advice from someone and they obviously should be someone that is done whatever that thing is that they've done before. But also, when did they do that thing, right? If they did that thing, whatever that is, 30 years ago or 20 years ago, the game has changed so much that their advice has become null and void. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's the point. If you are someone who started a business 30 years ago, but and you're someone who's actually

starting a technology company that now has AI abilities and all these other things that we never even had back then, maybe that person's opinion and experience is limited to what the world had to offer back then. That's absolutely right. So everything basically does have a shelf life even business advice. Yeah, my problem with Shark Tank is I feel like a lot of times the advice that they give is so

out of touch with the current reality. And that's why the sharks that I like are the ones who I feel like get today like Richard Branson whatever I loved when he was on there. I just thought everything he said was like, I was like, yeah, all right, I feel bad. You know what I mean? Like he just made sense. But you get some of these comments from what's his face, the guy who- Be careful. He's all the way over. What's his not-not Kevin, he drives me crazy. He never gets a deal. Robert? Yeah, he always offers people deals and he never gets them because he's notorious for backing out of deals after the show. So a lot of people never want to commit to him. Really?

But I also find that a lot of times the stuff he says is so out of touch with today. And it's just, it's so apparent. Like, you're not building that same company today. There's no chance, you know? Well, that's a thing like, especially with like, internet marketing and digital marketing and all these other elements. So you're not selling just a widget in the mom post store. So it's very, very different.

But that goes with everything. Like it's not just about, it's across the board. Self-help everything. It's everything. It's food. It's food. Everything. Self-help is an area that just drives me frickin' bananas.

How everybody is a self-help expert. Do you know that recently, I just changed my bio on my Instagram because people were, you know, on my Instagram because people would refer to me so that I refer to myself in my bio as an expert. Either I'm a wellness expert, a fitness expert, a business marketing guru, whatever those things are that people would tell me and then I would put that in, not because I believe it, but because that was the vernacular that I was used. And after like being at this place where I'm getting so bombarded with all this bullshit

of everyone being this expert, I'm like, I don't want to be in that pool anymore because who am I? I'm one person. I'm no expert. You know, like, I'm just a person who basically does a lot of trial and error and figures things out. So if you want to ask me advice on something, it's my opinion for the information

that I know at this moment, given my experience. But by all means, I'm no expert in any way. And the funny thing is, I also think that most people who've reached a lot of success in different areas, they didn't even know at the time what the hell they were doing. But it was only after hindsight and many, many years later, right? That they started to connect the dots

on like what works, what didn't work. The Steve Jobs motto. Right. Nobody's really an expert in anything. Absolutely. So, but with that being said, it is important to be discerning and when you are asking people for advice, like make sure not only that they've done it before in the realm of what you're doing, but when they did it. And also be careful and very cautious of people who think they and say they're an expert in a lot of different areas.

Like the same people who write a bunch of books. What, like so now you're an expert, like you're an expert in sales, you're an expert in this. Like to me, if pick a lane and then like work on that, you can't be an expert in everything. So like what that's what I find a lot of times that I'm noticing. I just think it also like advice has to resonate with you. Well, it takes a great assault. But you have to be able to not not just a certain who it's coming from, but different people will give, I mean, like, for example, like,

very close friends of mine, right? Sometimes they give me great advice, and sometimes they give me really shitty advice. And it's up to me to be able to listen to what somebody is saying. And decide for myself whether or not I actually feel like that resonates in a way. Like, do I feel like that is going to work in this situation?

Are they coming from a place of experience? Are they coming from a place? Like? Are they coming from a place? Like, even if somebody has done what they say that they've done, maybe they didn't in a way I don't want to do, right? Maybe they've gone about it in a route that's not for me. So you have to be able to assess everything that's being told to you and actually filter it through your own mind because just someone tells you something that maybe it's good.

Maybe it's coming from a perfect source. Maybe they are an expert in that area. Maybe they're recently, too. Maybe what they say just isn't for you. Well, that's really a good point. That's why a lot of times you should be somebody who actually ignores more advice than you actually take. Right, because everybody's path is different and what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. I wanted to just finish what I might point before because I don't think it was super concise, sorry. It's hard enough to be an expert in one thing, let alone be an expert in a lot of things, and you have to take it with a grain of salt, and when there are people out there

who are gurus and expert, they're professional advice givers. They write a ton of books on self-help Like one at like just one after the other banging them out. They're constantly either telling you what you should do What you should do. I just think you just have to have a lot of discernment. Especially now with social media and You know people can edit things really well and have great sound bites and sound like they know what the hell they're talking about. And maybe they're an expert in sounding authoritative. But just because you sound authoritative and you have a good voice for it and you have a great soundbite doesn't necessarily mean you are an authority.

And I think that there's a big difference between sounding like you know what the hell you're talking about and actually knowing what you're talking about and Social media is filled with these charlatans who sound really good But they're like they don't know they're asked from their elbow and I would never take advice from these Yaku's absolutely that's my two cents you could give me like a topic on a piece of paper and not to my own speaking horn But I could absolutely sound like an expert on like bananas and topic on a piece of paper and not to toot my own speaking horn, but I could absolutely sound like an expert on like bananas and make up a bunch of bullshit and it would sound very good, you know what I mean?

Or you know, you could do. It's just super possible. It's like anyone who's good at speaking can kind of do that. And then they end up scamming all these people. So you know, it's really interesting. You say that because again, you can Google, you know, benefits of bananas.

You can do that as well. And you can have a really, your whole forte can be like personal speaking or you can have an actress background and like, you know, have had experience in performance and carrying yourself a certain way. And then you can spew a lot of nonsense and sound amazing. And really don't know anything about anything, but you sound good versus some people who are actually truly experts and know like the intricacies and nuances of a banana or anything we're talking about, but they're like

awkward and they don't come across really good and well and therefore, you know, they're not considered to be a guru or an expert. So just because you can perform well means literally nothing. If you love the habits and hustle podcasts and are looking to add more podcasts to your weekly routine, I have the podcast for you. I know you're going to love the Millionaire University Podcasts because they dive deep into how to actually run a successful business so you can escalate from just breaking even to making your business and profits thrive. Or how they like to say it, learn how to graduate from millionaire university rich, not broke. And this is because you don't need to go into debt

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Like, this was, actually, this was probably a year ago than how they saw this, but it was so fascinating about how oftentimes the people who are legitimately practicing in their industries every single day are the ones that you don't know about. 100% Because they're not making content. They're so focused on practicing

and actually doing all the work, right? Like, the plastic surgeons that are legitimately doing surgery 24-7, you don't necessarily know about them, right? But then you got the plastic surgeons who do surgery for two hours, you know, a week, but then they spend the next 48 hours every single week recording content, making footage, making whatever's now, they have like half a million followers on Instagram, so they see more credible, but they're not even at all more credible.

They just spend more time, they just spend more time making content on their topic than they do actually living their topic. Okay. And it drives me crazy. It's taking me every piece of my being not interrupt you. I know. So impressed, by the way. Because I, it drives me insane.

Because if you are looking for a professional of any kind, please do not look for that professional on Instagram. Because if they're actually making content, they're not actually practicing what they're supposed to be an expert or a professional in. I will not be looking for my doctor on social media. Not happening. I know what a lot of people do that, which is so crazy.

What is so crazy? Like, some of these doctors have like a million followers. They could be bullshit, I don't know, but the point is a lot of followers and they're, they're, they're snipping teasers and content. Like, aren't you supposed to be a doctor? Yeah. What are you doing on social media?

Yeah, okay, to be fair, to compete in today, you do need to have a social presence. So obviously I understand people putting money into that into their businesses and such, but I just think that it's so ironic that oftentimes these people with like mass social media credibility are really the ones where you're not actually doing anything.

Let me tell you something, okay, about this nonsense about everyone has to have a presence. I get it, you have to have a presence on social media to show people that you actually are letting you breathing human. I know we just get so much more business that way. But listen, but there's certain professions and there are certain people who quite frankly, I don't want them to be on social content creator. I want them to be a specialist in surgery. A brain surgeon should be fricking brain surgeon or a brain doctor. I don't need to hear you yammering on about the brain 24 hours a day all day on social media and snipping and going on every podcast and doing all the media. Like it's a fine line.

I get to have visibility and exposure, but there's a fine line between having some visibility and having some presence, right? Versus that being what you're spending your actual day doing and job doing. So you're spending what, 20% being a doctor and 80% going on podcasts and interviews and cutting content and doing all these like teasers. No, no, no, no, no. Like it should be 80% of your job

and then maybe 20% of your content. Now, if you're a content creator spewing self-help stuff, okay, I get that. I don't like it so much, but that's not the point. I actually hate that the most. I think the self-help world is so dangerous because I always talk about that. It's legitimately like, I think this is what the podcast is about.

It's just, well, yeah, but it's all the worlds of experts, right? So it's like, or advice. Or advice and general, but as into me, like you can get advice from someone on food and it's like, or whatever, like, I mean, it can be really detrimental, but you can get advice on how to like deal with suicidal thoughts

and it not be good. And then, yes, that has severe consequences in a lot of people's lives, you know, or, you know, someone might be diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia, whatever, and they start scrolling through their feed, and they get all of these little clips on it, and, you know, someone might be diagnosed with bipolar, schizophrenia, whatever, and they start scrolling through their feed and they get all of these little clips on it. And, you know, someone's telling them to do this and someone's telling them to do that. And, like, that could be really dangerous.

That could be, if that advice isn't good, and it's not, I mean, and not only that, but even if you were to get, even if you are the top psychiatrist in the world, giving advice on social, right? Just general statements across the board. Yes, absolutely great. It's completely wrong because that is not individualized, which is what psychiatry is.

It's one of the most individualized fields, and self-help should also be so individualized. Yeah, I agree. So I think it's a big problem. Right, painting with a brush like that, everybody, it's really dangerous. Oh my God. I call out the, in that way, the doctors,

be it psychiatrist, surgeons, people that are really playing with people's... Playing your life like that. I think it's super dangerous. Like, okay, if you wanna be a beauty influencer, give me advice on the shade of lipstick I'm using or what the latest trends are. Yeah, consequences are so much smaller.

I get that. The consequences are way smaller. But if you're somebody who's really dealing with a health, either a physically, a health-related issue or a mental-related issue and you're finding your advice from these people on Instagram I think it's just so dangerous and what I suggest to people is before you do that maybe a think twice of who that person really is and use Google because if there's no other real Press on that person or real and the other Information besides what you're finding on a social media app then maybe think twice with good

I'm using them because a lot of times people can be really they can seem they can seem very popular on Instagram Right, but there's nothing else about them anywhere else and like you should be checking There's all sorts of different reviews and grays that you can check for like mental health and like, you know, actually, there's good positions. There's a lot like real self, there's for like surgeons or whoever.

That's what I'm saying. Like, there's so many different tiers. And like this short solo was really only to be about just overall be much more discerning where you're getting your advice from if they've done it before of course like we said when did they do it what are they really an expert in because it does very hard to be an expert in more things than just one thing if we're being honest oh also what's their motivation and what's and what is the motivation a lot of times

people are giving you advice based on where they are like what sometimes they don't want you to do something because they themselves never had the opportunity or they never had the self-confidence. And so they don't want you, even subconsciously, to attempt it. There's also something called shot-in-froid. Yeah, or they're trying to sell you something. Like, let's say they're like, they give you, you know, it's a clip of advice, whatever, you think it's great. And then you look at the... Let's back to social media. Yeah, and then you look at the thing

And it's like oh by my course on how to be you know I mean it's like look at the motivation behind some of the advice that you're getting I think that's also important Wait, what did you say for oh yeah, what I was talking about so you're so you're still on the whole social media Like the people like having all these funnels where like you or or high SEO where you're looking for something or Because your algorithm now You're trying to convert this track so that they're trying to convert you into buying whatever they're selling for them to for the Pain point that you're looking for but that wasn't what I was talking about what I was talking about is something called shot and Freud Which is when shot and for what it means is when someone in joy is like misery enjoys company. Like they get pleasure out of somebody else's,

like, unhappiness, right? So, like, sometimes, like, if you, you know, because let's say, some business that I did didn't work out for me, and then you're going out to try a business and it failed. And, you know, I had like some, like, small piece of, like, happiness that it didn't work out for you. Yeah. Right?

Because misery does enjoy company. That's the idea behind shot and Freud. That's just depressing, but I can understand it. Yeah, that's what it is. But yeah, so this whole thing is to say, be discerning who you're getting advice from and check your sources, don't just use social media as your one-stop shop, especially when it comes to like health-related things.

If you want to look for beauty or motivation, I think it's fine, even then. But business advice, personal advice? Yes, it's a nice place to get some advice, but just be careful of who you're getting it from. Absolutely. And on that note, join the Facebook group. Ha ha ha ha. And that note, please subscribe. And let me know who are your top three people or places you get your advice.

I'd like to know. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I'm Heather Monahan, host of Creating Confidence, a part of the YAP Media Network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. Okay, so I want to tell you a little bit about my show. We are all about elevating your confidence to its highest level ever and taking your business right there with you. Don't believe me? I'm gonna go ahead and share some of the reviews of the show so you can believe my listeners. I have been a long-time fan of feathers no matter what phase of life I find myself in. Heather seems to always have the perfect gems of wisdom that not only inspire, but motivate me into action. Her experience and personality are unmatched, and I love

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