Haunted Cosmos - Ex Occult Member: Drugs Can Open Demonic Portals

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

A former occult practitioner describes himself as a "walking motel for unclean spirits”. He tells of his experience of drug induced demonic encounters and how he eventually was lead to the Lord. It’s an incredible story of how the Lord can save someone even in their deepest and darkest moments!New Haunted Cosmos shirt available for a limited time! - Get it here!Love Haunted Cosmos? Get access to our exclusive show, The Dusty Tome, early ad-free access to main episodes and monthly Livestreams, by becoming a patron of the show: https://www.patreon.com/c/HauntedCosmosThis episode is sponsored by: Indigo Sundries Soap Company - Go to http://indigosundriessoap.com and use code HAUNTEDCOSMOS for 10% off your whole order!Stonecrop Wealth Advisors! Go to this link to check out their special offers to Haunted Cosmos listeners today. https://stonecropadvisors.com/hauntedcosmosTalk to Josh at Volenté Creative to get help you with your branding and marketing: https://volentecreative.com/ncpGray Toad Tallow. Visit their website here and use COSMOS15 at checkout for 15% off your order. https://graytoadtallow.com/Buy the Haunted Cosmos book: https://www.newchristendompress.com/cosmos PS: It's also available as an audiobook!Support the show

This episode is brought to you by Indigo Sundry Soap Company. Clean soap, cleaner body. I saw this tall, gangly creature, like a very tall, probably eight or nine foot tall creature. Whenever my eyes came up to its face, I realized that I was paralyzed by its face. And it said, you aren't supposed to be here. How can he see us? You aren't supposed to be here. Hey, everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Graveyard Shift. My name is Ben Garrett. I'm your host. I'm joined by my friend and co-host as always. Monsieur Brian Sovay.

Oh, merci beaucoup. So good to be here, my ami. Yes. I go to the pastisri for I do chteau. La Bet de Javadon. I just said I go to the bakery to buy cake. I said the Beast of Jevitton. Because I'm on cut. We are also joined. We have a special guest. It's a graveyard shift, right? So we have guests. We are joined today by our new friend, Mason Skaggs.

Mason, say hello to the people. Hello, guys, it's so good to be here. Love haunted Cosmos, long time fan. Thank you. So thanks for having me. Yeah, as the listeners, you know, now you already know. You all just saw Mason. Yeah, they already see it.

The mask is off. Let's elephant in the room. And so as you all might suspect, we have been just oogling over how handsome this guy is. Like, physiognomy. Check. Yeah. sweater game. Is that a sweater or is that like a... Dude, this is a cardigan.

Yeah, I mean, the cardigan. And they make fun of me when I wear cardigans. It looks different on you. No, no, no, no, no. I want justice for my cardigans. Now that you've gone on this cut, I bet you that cardigan looks really good. So I just looked fat. Well, I mean, so did I. It's true. I had to lose a lot of weight. No, most handsome guests we've had on the graveyard shift so far. Sorry to all the previous guests. I'm sorry. Wow. Wow. Well, on the, I I'm keeping up a good deceit for you guys. On the inside, I am full of Deadman's bones. But we can just look at your face. Yeah, that's all we need.

Are we going to break the ice or what? Yeah, we're going to break the ice. So Mason, something that we like to do on the graveyard shift is a little icebreaker question. And I'm leading up to it for so long because I have to think of what the question is. And so here's what it is. Sometimes I start a sentence and I don't know how I'm going to finish it. here's what the question is. You seem like a man who appreciates history and theology.

And so hopefully I'm right. But even if I'm not, I want to ask you, who is your favorite theologian of all time? Ooh, that's good. I mean, I want a Jesus juke and say the Apostle Paul. Well, that's a Paul juke, though. Yeah, I mean, that is cheating, though. It can't be someone in the Bible.

It can't be someone in the Bible. Okay, okay, okay. And I can't say Joel Osteing. Well, you could. You could. You could be a deologian. You couldn't make fun of you, you know? Yeah.

I mean, it's at your peril. No. At my own peril. I think, I mean, it's hard for me not to say John Calvin. Yeah. I mean, what a guy. It's a safe answer, but it's a good answer. Well, we're reading through the institutes right now, so it's fresh on my mind.

And he's just so affectional and pastoral. Yeah. And then he says things, he'll say objective truths and leave no room for, like, if you disagree with him, he's going to answer your next, your objection in the next sentence and you'll just look like a fool. I just love John Calvin. He's so thorough. You know, John Calvin, you say it's a safe answer. It is a safe answer. But here's something that people don't appreciate about John Calvin.

People that have read barely any of him or excerpts or none of him at all think that he's like really dry and hard to read. And to your point, he's not. He's really, he's very approachable, very pastoral. And it's kind of similar to this feel that you get reading someone like Bobink, where, yeah, they're giving you systematic stuff, but you can tell that they really, really believe in our passionate about what they're saying, even through the words that they're writing. So that's a great answer, John. And French. And he's also French. I think he means Jean. Jean.

Jean. Calvin. All right. So here's what we're going to do. This is the graveyard shift. Everyone knows the rules. Brian has never heard this story or stories before. Never. No idea what is about to be said. I have forgotten all of the stories. Every single graveyard shift. And it'll come back to me like in the middle of what you're saying.

And then I'll be like, I know where this is going on. Yeah, but I have no clue what is about to come our way. But what we're going to do is we're going to let Mason take it away. And we will try to avoid interrupting you too much. And we'll try to avoid being obnoxious. But it's going to be hard to pay attention to what you're saying. because of that face that you're wearing, my friend. I knew it. Hey?

Anyway, how about Mason? Take it away, take your time, and tell us your story. Why is it that most soaps and cleaning products, ironically, don't contain clean ingredients? Indigo Sundry's soap company is helping families stay clean and healthy by starting with the most important step in cleanliness. Soap. Their cold-pressed soap bars, including clay bars and tallow bars, are made from all natural ingredients that don't have any harmful chemicals. and they smell great. Visit indigosundry soap.com and order today.

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investment advisor with the U.S. Security Exchange Commission. Yeah, yeah. So my name is Mason Skaggs. I'm 28 years old, and I am a born-again Christian now. I serve at a church called Redeemer Casey in Kansas City, Missouri. And I'm the, I'm a, I'm a worship leader, a musical worship leader, and direct the prayer ministry here. And then I lead a, a host, a podcast on YouTube and an online ministry called Sovereign Fire Studios. And, but before all that, I have four children, by the way. Oh, man. That's amazing. My wife, Courtney, is, uh, one of the, our children is an embryo, uh, or in utero. Congratulations. Awesome. But before all that, I was a Satan worshipping, heroin shooting, sorcerer, drug addict, and distributor, and basically like a walking motel for unclean spirits.

For real. I really was. So for over a decade, that's how I lived until God convinced me that I was condemned before him and deserving of his wrath and showed me the way of escape. through and two forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ. There's perfect life, his atoning death, his victorious resurrection. And now, but going back to those dark years, I, kind of in the height of where I was ramping up occultism, starting blood magic and in chaos magic rituals and like some ceremonial magic and stuff, I was going after fame and fortune and pleasure.

with all my heart. I thought I'm already going to hell. I was, I was, I believed in the God of the Bible, but I knew I was in rebellion to him. And I was just more honest about it than other people. I'm like, I am wicked and I'm, I'm going to make the most out of this life. I'm going to suck as much joy as I can out of this life, what I thought was pleasure and joy. And so I was going after it in the form of, of ritual magic and stuff. And so I, I would frequently use hallucinogens and other stuff to kind of amplify these experiences and just for for recreational purposes. And I took a liking to a chemical called ketamine, which is a disassociative anesthetic. They'll give it to you in the hospital sometimes. Excuse me. I have had too much of this ghost energy drink. I'm full of the ghost.

Dude, you're full of the ghost. Is that the Mr. Beast one? No. Okay. I was going to say Mr. Beast is just in the back. Not a sponsor. I'm like, wow, now I want stuff. Dude, I've got that ghost in me. I'm like having like warhead fake flavored burps right now. Yeah. Crazy.

Let's go. So, ketamine, it's like, it's an anesthetic. It really numbs you out. It can be hallucinogenic. And I'll talk a little bit about that so that you can get in this story and see out my eye holes, my past eye holes.

But so I was using it privately. And I think I had stolen. money to buy it so like nobody could know that I was using it, which if you're going to use like a high potency chemical, probably tell somebody, just don't do it. If you're going to stop doing that. But if you are, you need to tell somebody. But I was alone and I had this experience that you will have whenever. There's two ways that a ketamine trip can go. And one is like a K-hole, which is basically annihilation, like ego death, they'll call it. where you have no reference to yourself, your mind comes outside your body,

which is common, you know, a common, like, a common experience on ketamine. But for an ego death, you, like, dissolve into nothingness, and five minutes can feel like an eternity, et cetera. So that's one way you, like, get sucked into an abyss. The other way it can go is in lower doses, like colors shift and kind of change, and it's really alien-like and feels, weird and colors are different. You might see geometrical like blocky shapes and stuff. Okay. So I do this line of ketamine and I realize I've had too much. Like almost immediately I feel the effects of it.

And so I like blow my nose out under the carpet as one does. And I'm like, I have had too much. So I'm kind of anticipating how much I've actually got in my system. And then I felt this sensation that lets you know it's taking effect, which feels like an elevator ride whenever it's going down and it kind of catches you by surprise. And you're like, whoa. You like lose your stomach a little bit. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. But that feeling doesn't end and it only descends and, uh, and like continues. So this, this happened. I have missing time there where like there's a pinhole moment where like everything fades to black actually in a pin like when you're passing out and it's like a little hole you can see out and then that disappears. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Okay, so that happens. And then I fade in to the, it's literally like a movie. Like I, I, I, the pinhole widens and fades out and I am in another dimension, which is not one of those two options I just mentioned. Yeah. Like, okay. So I have a lack of emotion first. Like I realize I'm really calm.

and like just trying to understand. And I have this sensation of being observed. It's like this really tangible, overwhelming sense that there are a lot of eyes on me. And people have this whenever they use hallucinogens. I have a theory on this. Theologically, I think it's because you've like, what is that scene in Lord of the Rings

whenever the wraith? Like somebody gets a whiff of the... No, Frodo puts on the ring. And it like shoots, it blasts up to let all of, you know, all of the dark forces. know where he's at. Yeah. I think when you use hallucinogens, when you like step into sorcery, you are stepping into a dimension you have no idea about and signaling to like disembodied

beings that you are open for business basically. Anyway. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. That's a really common experience. It's like I felt like there were a thousand eyes on me with a bunch of different hallucinogens. So I have this, I have this experience. And then I first noticed sound. And so, my eyes looked down and I saw these little beings, like maybe three or four inches tall. And they looked organic, but they had like elf features, and they were chirping and talking. They were multicolored. The environment I was in, like the ground beneath me and the walls of whatever I was in were these geometrical

overlaid shifting patterns of like looked like moving living color and these things were made up

of that same material and so they're like metallic looking vibrantly colored glimmering vivid little guys with pointy features

facial features and I never tell this story because I mean I just don't tell anything time I start to tell somebody, they're like, do you believe in Bigfoot? And I'm like, boy, have I got a story for you? And my wife is like, oh, come. Here we go. So I'm like, honey.

Bigfoot, that's child's play. Yeah. Like, honey, submit to me and listen to this story. For the 100th. For the 100th time. Yeah. No, she's awesome. She's the best. Dude, hand grenade pins in every line. I'm sorry. You said for the 100th time. And I just like went back to my job. Anyway, you have to. Lincoln fuck. Dude, Lincoln Park is so good.

Anyway, they had these really like pointy. I don't know how else to describe it other than their faces were mischievous. They had like this. They were not malicious like evil, but like they were doing something bad. Like a hobgoblin or like. Like a hobgoblin.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So they see and their features seem to like shift and change. And they were. Okay. So after this experience, I looked into these creatures, because I just was super into the hallucinogen world, wanted to know if anyone else saw them. And Timothy Leary saw these on DMT.

Yeah. And he called them self-transforming machine elves where they were like shifting and moving and manipulating their own bodies. Anyway. So what I noticed while I was in it is like, these beings are on my body and they were very intentionally working. like they had a purpose and were working together and doing stuff to my legs. They were all really busy. And then I heard this noise that like stopped me. They were communicating to each other and talking about me and speaking in this like chirpy, high-pitched, squeaky, angry voices.

And it was super alarming to me. They were cursing me in like a foreign language that I somehow could understand. stand. They were cursing at me and saying like perverse kind of evil things in this alien language. And I can't explain how I knew what they were saying, but they were, they were mad at me. They were upset that I was there. Or whatever. I don't know. And so after this, I tried to like move, tried to like get a feel for where I was. Because I had done a ton of hallucinogens and had all kinds of out-of-body experiences, but I'd never been, I was sober, is the thing. Like, in this, in this state, I was not, I did not feel inebriated. I was like dead sober in this crazy circumstance with,

uh, with these little machine elves all running up my legs. And so I tried to move like my legs to no veil and then my attention turned upward from these machine elves to this like to see the source from where they from whence they came I guess you would say because they were all streaming at me and up my legs so I followed the trail of them and these like organic creatures streaming toward me followed it all the way up and to a like vibrant light that was imme at the center of this thing. And then I saw there were this, like, this place that I was had walls and a ceiling.

And the ceiling, like, came down concave to make this light being. So this light being was like at the center of this kind of, I would call it like a vehicle or a space that I was in. Like it almost looks like a, like the ceiling is coming in, like a wormhole kind of thing. Yeah. And it's all, like there's fun. on either side and then there's this light.

So, yeah, like the floor and the floor and the ceiling were like coming, the floor was coming up to the feet of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the ceiling was coming down to meet its head. Wow. And so from there, I had like this otherworldly terror. So first I had no emotion whatsoever and kind of just dead sobriety like experiencing the weirdness of this. and then I had terror. Like it was really beautiful what I was seeing.

Like the colors were cool. It was pretty. It was weird. But I had this like this really malicious terror immediately. Overwhelming. And like it felt like I was being rattled from the inside like by this thing. And I saw this tall. gangly creature, like a very tall, probably eight or nine foot tall creature with a really large

head, oversized eyes that didn't, it was weird. Its eyes didn't seem to be like part of, I don't know, I don't really know how to describe it, but it seemed like its eyes were not like set into its head, like its eyes were kind of like jutting out from its head, from its face. And they had no clothing. There were no genitalia to speak of. And somehow it was, I knew that it was masculine as well. And it was really imposing and intimidating. And his face was, okay, this is the weird part. I say this is the weird. Yeah, yeah. Everything else, normal Tuesday morning on my way to work, a lot of, but yeah, now it's going to get weird. Okay. So buckle up. Yeah. I, I, it's face, whenever my eyes came up to its face, I realized that I was paralyzed by its face. So there was this sensation like it almost felt like

at some kind of tentacle or like a, it was the weirdest. It was like a, it kept going in circles. And it was not visible, this thing that it was emanating. But from its face, it was hypnotizing and paralyzing me. And it had this like rotating effect to it. I don't know how to describe it. Other than that, I was paralyzed and it was, it was horrific. Like I was terrified. Okay.

So as I meet its face, I realize it's got this like laser looking, like multicolored light coming out of its forehead, scanning my body from my head to my feet, and I could feel the laser like heat, and it was penetrating me in a really unpleasant way. And it felt very medical and sterile what it was doing to me, but I could sense that it was like examining things about me that it, that were like spiritual and emotional and like gay. gathering data on me that, like, not just like, hey, this guy's six foot, he's 125 pounds at this time. But it was like piercing into my spirit, it felt like. I sensed that in the time that it was happening. So anyway, this laser beam scan from, from his forehead. And then I heard a voice. And the voice was like, hey, homie, I will cut you with my laser beam, bro.

Hey, yes. No, I'm just kidding. It was Martin. Dude, book, imagine. What if? Martin was the machine elf. He said, Oh. And then it was a Japanese impersonation. Do you want some on the kiddie?

Sashimi. No. But for real, though, it had, so I heard a voice in my head. No mouth movement of this thing at all. And it said, you aren't supposed to be here. how can he and then talking to the other machine elves said how can he see us you aren't supposed to be here

what those were the three things you aren't supposed to be here how can he see us you aren't supposed to be here okay don't do drugs kids don't yeah so that really scared me bad like I was terrified at the time but after I after this experience that probably gave me the weirdest uh like hangover of confusion about what had happened. Because it was like, it was speaking to me without moving its mouth. That had only happened to me a few times like telepathy on hallucinogens with other people. But I saw, and then seeing that I was in this type of vehicle was really freaky to me. It felt like we were like moving at a crazy, you know, pace, but also still at the same.

time and and then I have missing time and I don't even remember the next day of like wow wow I told no one because I stole these drugs or I stole the money for the drugs yeah and like I was using them in private but that's the end of that experience and then it continued into my sober waking hours later on which was really unsettling that's there's so many things that that ran through my head oh my guess as as you were talking, like, you know, we, we did an episode once on, we called it like DMT and the serpent god and stuff like that. And the machine elf being this, you know, kind of ubiquitous experience for people that go that deep when they go really deep. But the thing that I thought of actually near the end of your story with that one being that came out and the almost like immaterial, tenticular thing that's trying to hypnotize.

you remember you've mentioned it before the the illustration that Tim Poole talked about with AI where there's this like terrible lovecraftian monster with all these tentacles and there's different masks on them and stuff and it just got me thinking kind of about that because you had said that when you went into this place it wasn't one of the options that you're supposed to have for ketamine and so it's it's almost like you you you accidentally slipped into this into this place that you yeah that you weren't supposed to be at where you didn't go down the right shoot or whatever. And it's like you, you, again, this is just me talking. But it's almost like you got to see behind the curtain of the masks. Yeah. To like this is what it is. Like this terrible. It's like a angel of light, but it's this terrifying, terrible thing.

And look, it's telling me like I'm not supposed to be here. Which if it's a demonic thing, you'd think that they'd be like, oh, great, he's here. Let's, you know, that's terrifying and stuff. It's interesting that the voice in your head was like you, how, why can you see us? You're supposed to leave. This is not right. Yeah, like so many things running through my head right now. Why do you think it's so parallel to abduction experiences?

There are several key elements that are very analogous to abduction stories. Why do you think that is? And well, maybe do you agree. But why do you think that is? Yeah, I do agree. Brian, and I have had a lot of time to think about it since, because this started me off on researching, like, what are people experiencing on these drugs? And am I the only one who stuff like this has happened to? I had a sweet sister. She's reformed and, like, really in the, like, converting new age people and doing ministry to new age people.

Yeah. Jack Marino Chen is her name. And she was a former, she was a witch. She was a witch. was like in the nights of the golden dawn. Oh, yeah. Like Alistair Crowley's secret society. But she had an experience when she was sober where she was abducted and she told it on Sovereign Fire Studios and she said that they were, they had her on like a medical table and they actually hurt her so bad that she went to the emergency room afterward. Wow.

Like sober went to the emergency room. That's like the devil's den. Yep. Yeah, really similar. And has had pain in her stomach since then. Wow. Yeah. So there's a lot of,

there are a lot of parallels to abduction. And I have, I have, like, some pretty solid, like, an understanding of why that might be. I actually think this is a hot take. But, you know, this is the place for hot. Man, this is the graveyard shit.

You're among friends. Okay. Okay. So I have, I have this theory that, so I had an overdose one time where I threw up and inhaled it. And that was like kind of the marked the butt end of my addiction before I was converted. And Jesus, like, changed me.

And I had the, almost the exact same feeling coming out of being, I woke up in the hospital. And I felt like I was, the hospital room felt like it was catapulting through space. All of the doctors seemed like aliens to me and stuff. And I felt like I was for sure, I had been abducted by aliens. And so I have this theory that like when you, that UFOs are actually spiritual travel. Like demons and angels got to get from place to place. And I don't know how they do that. Like it doesn't say anything in the Bible about, you know, when an angel is sent somewhere like actually they appear from time to time.

So I don't know. But it seems like there's an element to spirit travel that maybe like spirit travel whenever you're going from like the land of the land. living to, you know, out of your body or whatever, whatever, that maybe that like creates something that is sometimes visible to the, to like humans, like a UFO. I don't know. Well, there's even, sorry, go ahead. It just seems like that might be like it's transportation. It definitely is extra dimensional in a lot of cases. And so it seems like it might be like from the physical to the spiritual and back and forth. I don't know. So some of the, some of the abduction experience is actually not necessarily the transportation of the body,

but it's actually the sundering similar to astral projection or some of these other remote viewing type things that are all, people shouldn't be attempting them. But the mechanism seems possible, therefore. Maybe that's why they're similar is that you're actually going, if going is the right word. Yeah. To the same place. or a similar place in some sense. I've wondered, too, if some of it is,

because the other common experience you get is, like you were saying, like the technicolor extra dimensional shapes folding in on itself. And this like thing that's a stationary thing, or it seems like you're in a room, but it's in constant motion. There's like evolution in the walls and shapes and colors. And how, if that's true,

like if what you're saying, if we just assume that that's what it is, it could also be the like we're still a human mind we're still a human intelligence even when we're sundered from the body and so it could be the human intelligence projecting and trying to make sense of what's happening interesting and so it's not that it's not real it is real but it's like what we're seeing is our mind trying to rationalize what it's experiencing like the same way the optic nerve is translating light exactly but it has no way of doing it but it's still a a human intelligence and so you see similarity across different experiences.

I don't know. Interesting. Does your outdated website give your visitors sleep paralysis? What? Is that a thing? Are you haunted by that logo your uncle's pet werewolf made? Brian, what are you talking about? If you're ready to level up your brand and website, you need to talk to Josh at Valenti Creative.

What's up, guys? Josh, my guy. What the heck? How did you just appear? Head to Valentecreative.com slash NCP to talk with Josh about your brand and website. Oh, oh, this is an ad that we're doing right now? Wait, wait, how did he teleport into this room? Ben, I wish I could tell you, but this is an ad.

You have to go to valentecreative.com slash NCP and reach out today. Hey, Ben, I just read that our great grandparents probably experimented with butter on their dry skin as a moisturizer. Is that why you look so radiant? Maybe it's grandma's butter recipe, or maybe it's gray toad tallow. Their tallow products are 100% organic and naturally contain the good stuff your skin craves. No mystery there. So say Sianara, Sammy, to kitchen experiments and say hello to healthier skin. Gratoed tallow, trusted by skin, envied by great grandma's butter recipe.

For more information and to get a sample pack, check out gray toad tallow. Don't forget to use the code Cosmos 15. That's all caps, Cosmos 1-5 for 15% off your order. That's actually what I was trying to, that's the way I'm thinking about it. I'm so glad that you guys are more eloquent and intelligent than I am. Because that is kind of how I'm thinking about it. And another thing that makes me, that makes me think that is I was, so in that time, I was absolutely paralyzed in life. Like I was stuck in addiction. I was stuck in sexual immorality. Like just gratifying the desires of my flesh, doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. And it was the most trapped I've ever been.

Like there was no hope and no freedom and no purity or like joy in my life or peace. And it just so happened whenever I sundered from my body, I was before this being that was like doing something to me. these beings were like at work busily on me. And then also this being was like analyzing me and going to do something with me and realized that I could see it and that I was awake. And so it made me think like what if I was just catapulted into a dimension where I could see what was actually going on spiritually with me? Like you read Augustine or like basically,

any church fathers and they're like, oh yeah, so the devil was talking yesterday and I told him this. Or like even Martin Luther's like, so anyway, I was farting at the devil. Yeah. Yeah. Like I think as Westerners and after post-enlightenment were like, no way is that possible. But it seems like that might be what's happening with alien abduction is like people are having the veil lifted a bit and, um, and just, you know, dubbing it alien abduction. Yeah. So it may not, so what you're saying is it, uh, is it may not even be so much that you are going somewhere else physically or even in any way, in any sense of the word. But it's you're seeing or your mind is trying to rationalize whatever you want to say, the unseen world that is already happening there, like where you're laying down.

That's what I'm, yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's a really interesting idea, I think. So I have two questions. You said that this continued to affect you into your waking life. And I'm interested in what that means, but also, how you went from this to being converted. How did the Lord actually deliver you from that? Yeah, for sure.

I'm happy I get to talk about that. So I'll take the, how did this affect me first? And like at this time, I was a musician. I was really trying to like make it. And all of my heroes were guys who had kind of boasted about giving themselves over

to darkness and over to Satan. And like we're pretty forthright about that. And I think music is really important and is it's trans rational where it like bypasses your prefrontal cortex and goes straight into you in some way. I don't know. More on that. See my published works. They're not actually. I've talked about it.

But I'm trying to use as many of you guys as phrases as I can while I'm on. I agree with that. I don't know you're one of us. At a basic level. Yeah, absolutely. It's this like, yeah, trans rationalism. It's why I only listen to creed. Yeah, exactly.

That's how you become the best that you can be. Yeah, that's how you lock. That's how you get motion. You lock in. How else will you get higher? Yeah. So I, yeah, I idolize these guys. And I had, I had done ceremonies where I had just given an open invitation, like,

whatever being would like to take up residence within me in order to give me power and skill and wealth like have at it. And so this was after that experience when I was still trying to contact, you know, extra, extra dimensional beings and trying to make pacts with the devil. And I had, after this experience, like I said, there's missing time. And then I just went about my life because I had nobody to tell and only later was I like, okay, so I should share with people this happen. But I distinctly remember I would go to sleep and like I'd be sober. For me, that was like I had smoked weed. Okay. And I'm going to sleep. And I would on the edge of sleep feel like the kind of sensation you get if a face is really close to you where there's some heat,

you can hear your breath on it almost. You know, like there's, you can feel that there's a presence. And then there's the, like, someone's eyes are on you. You're kind of responding to that. So my eyes would be plastered shut. And so I couldn't open my eyes and I couldn't move like sleep paralysis. But it was before I had gone to sleep. So I'm laying there paralyzed.

And I had this, dude, these extra-dimensional tentacles, I tell you, Like, they were that tentacle I was talking about, like the rotating motion of hypnosis that was happening from that dude's face. That would happen. And it was, it would, it made like a sound, like, like a weird vacuum cleaner. Mm-hmm. Like a rotating, oscillating thing happening. And I would just be dead, like terrified in my, in my bed and unable to move. for however long it would stay.

And that happened probably a couple times where then I would wake up gasping and feel like there was a presence in my room and like just feel this wicked, hateful presence in my room, especially in like corners of the room after I was awake. That was another thing. Always accompanying this hypnosis was that it hated me. Like it wanted to kill me was the,

was the, I don't even know what you would call it. That was the message that it was giving me somehow. Yeah. And so this happened a couple times. And then I started to squeak out the name Jesus because I was raised in like a Christian household. And I knew there, like it just was kind of instinctive to me. I'm like, I'm going to call on Jesus.

And as soon as I could get that out of my mouth, it would all go away, no matter what it was. Like there were times when I would wake up and see, I could see and my room was blood red after this. It escalated. First, it was just like paralysis. And then it was like I would see beings and feel presences randomly in the day, like be overtaken with terror in the middle of the day and hear voices and all kinds of things.

But there was this, there were times when I would wake up. and felt like my chest was being crushed by like the heaviest thing in the universe, like even heavier than both of y'all's moms sitting in the chest. That's pretty heavy. That's a deep gut, especially as Brian's mom. I would feel like this depression in my chest, unable to move. And, but I would, if I could even just mouth the name of Jesus, then it would dissolve.

And like, the demons would flee. It's almost like the Bible is true. Like humans are terrified of Jesus. And so that's how it continued into my wake. I even like, this is a strange thing only my wife knows about. But I had a trance one time. It's the only time that I've ever had. I was awake and I fell in, I was super in, you know, into,

I was still plunging headlong into darkness like magic. and drugs. And I was awake in my bed and I fell into a trance that felt like an eternity. It was probably only like three minutes. But I was having a vision that, this sounds so crazy. I was having a vision and I was like home in the first place that I grew up. I was outside and all of these bongs, these like pipes for smoking weed were falling on the grass and shattering. And this was only maybe a couple weeks before I would go into a detox facility and it would start like the process of me being converted. I have no idea what to make of this, but it felt I was like in dread and I was terrified

while it was happening. And then looking back on it, I'm like, I don't know what was going on, but the symbolism of like these paraphernalism. drug paraphernalia shattering and I was unable to move. I was out of my body having this vision and then came back into my body. I don't know what to make of that. But it did happen. So I, to go into kind of what happened in my conversion,

I kept doing that stuff, man. I just like, kept shooting up heroin and smoking math, dude. You know how it is. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. I actually don't, but I can imagine. Yeah. Yeah, it's like with any sin.

It's just a little more obvious. It's like, you know, transgress this boundary and you'll have a little more pleasure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It will be satisfying after this time and you keep pushing it and keep pushing it. And then before you know it, it's like I can, not only can I not stop, but I hate myself and I hate my life. And that's how all sin is. I mean, it will destroy you. and it sucks the life out of you.

So I was like, I couldn't, I was shooting up heroin, smoking meth, selling a bunch of coke out of my house and dropping my own LSD on sheets of blotter paper and, like distributing drugs. And I had a mental breakdown. By the grace of God, I had, I lost my mind. Like I, I don't smoke too much math, you know? And I had been up for like 72 hours and I couldn't hold thoughts together or form sentences. And so they took me to the hospital.

and I went through a detox facility and I was sober for the first time in like a decade. Wow. And during that time, I had, it was crazy because all of the substances lifted and then I still heard all of these crazy voices like telling me to hurt myself or others. And it was like there was nothing to numb them anymore. It was just like all of the demons that I had thought were going to give me wealth or fame or power. were going to cash in on me and take my life. And so I got out of detox. And while I was in this detox facility, I read the book of AA, which like, I, I think the first chapter is the best chapter of AA. I'm not hating on AA. God can use whatever. And I just think, like, get help at your local

church first. Of course, like run with your brothers and sisters there if you're trapped in addiction. And anywho, I read this. And in the book of AA, Bill, the author talks about how his friend was crazy alcoholic. And then he comes over like a couple months later to Bill's house. And the dude is just changed. And he's like, how did you stop drinking? And his friend says, I was changed by the Lord Jesus. Like, Jesus changed my life.

And then the rest of the book, Bill, interestingly enough, is like, so I set out to form a strategy to like, replicate this and it's totally secular almost, you know. But I was captivated by this dude's testimony that it was, that he was changed. And so I logged that away and then continued using drugs. And I just, I felt like I could not repent. I was experiencing what the doctrine of total depravity that like I could not, I had no will left to apprehend faith. I could not like choose God. There was no unstained part of me. And so I just kept running. in the same direction. And then I went home to my ex-girlfriend's house,

this girl I had proposed to while I was on methamphetamine, as one does, and she broke up with me, and I had to pick up some stuff. And so I found this vial of GHB, like gamma hydra, blah, blah, blah, blah, something. It's another anesthetic that I would use to sleep when I was on an amphetamine. And I was, I was,

like, okay, I'm going to take a little shot for the road one time for the one time. Like, let's see how it goes. And so I did, and I got in this Uber, and the Uber drove me, sponsored by Uber. This Uber drove me to Walmart. And I walked into Walmart and purchased a Snickers bar and something else. And then got back in the Uber and the guy was driving me away. He asked me a question. I took a bite of my Snickers bar and it got like halfway down my throat. and then I was gone. Wow. I had had overdoses where I had time to scramble and be like,

oh, God, forgive me of my sin. In Jesus' name, you know, like, and please save me and I'll change my life, whatever, and never did. But this one was, I was just gone. I had no opportunity to do anything. And so I know now I threw up and then I inhaled it and was just passed out in his driver's seat. and by the grace of God, he did not push me out in the Walmart parking lot

that was further away from the hospital, but he actually drove me to my, to where he, to my destination, which was closer, and had them meet him there. So he had called them for, to meet him there. And that,

that's one of the things that saved my life. Ultimately, the Bible says, like deliverances from death belong to the Lord. Our God is a God of salvation. And to God, the Lord belong. deliverances from death. And so anytime somebody survives something, it is God. And because Satan's just trying to kill and steal and destroy. So God saved my life and he used this guy. And they pumped my lungs

and intubated me and I was in the hospital. That's when I woke up in that and I thought I was in a UFO. Yeah. And my dad, God bless him, he had converted and he sat down by my bedside and my whole family was there and he was like, Mason, you have to get your together. And I will pay for one more. I'd been to rehab twice at this time. And he's like, I'll pay for one more trip. You should go out of state. And then you need to, you need to, like, whatever it takes.

I prayed that God would spare your life. And he has. And so, like, take this opportunity and make something of it. So I went out of state to rehab, to a Christian rehab. And they were, like, praying over me. anointing me with oil when I got there and I, man, I hated them immediately. Like, it was full of rage and suicidal ideations trying to like think of what window I was going to jump out and I was like, I was just a scoundrel, a real scallywag. And they had,

but they continued praying over me and sharing the gospel with me. And so I left early. I was like, I'm out of here. Four months in. And I had, dude, God just pursued me my whole life. Like I had always, he always spoke through these little things. You know, somebody would share the gospel with me. He would remind me of a huge sin that he was very offended at or whatever. And I always tried to outrun him, but he's faster than us. So he pursued me to, even when I left this place,

and I started dating the girl who is now my wife. And she had a Romans 5-8 tattoo that God demonstrates his love for us and that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. And she was not even a Christian. She just had it because it was cute, you know? And through dating her, I started to see, like, I was popping pills again. I wasn't doing heroin, but I was, like,

taking Suboxone and Adderall and a bar of Xanax every day, sponsored by Xanax. And, I'm sorry. Like, I was just a fiend still, just taking pharmaceuticals. And to wrap up, I had, I'd exhausted all of my resources, all of my effort trying to clean myself up and did all of these incantations and would spend like an hour in positive manifestations and manifesting and, you know, meditating and doing ceremonial magic and chaos and sex magic and all different kinds of occult trying to manipulate my reality. And it left me, I was violated and don't. darker and more depressed and emptier than I ever had been in my life. And so this one time I'm at a call center, sponsored by call centers. I had, I was, everyone else had left. And I just put my head

in my hands. I had been researching online how to be healed of addiction. And I saw the wackiest stuff you've ever seen in your life from like Benny Hinn or whatever. Yeah. And, So I just pushed my keyboard away and I just put my hands, like my head in my hands and prayed. And I was like, God, I believe you're real. And I believe Jesus died on the cross for sinners. I don't think I can repent. But if you help me, like if you give me the power, I'm yours. If you help me repent, I will, I follow you.

I surrender to you. And right then he, met me. It was like I, for the very first time in my life, I felt love and peace, like a physical sensation even, but spiritually, mostly, like just wash over me. Like that he, I felt all at once that God loved me. First, whenever he was convicting me of all my sin, I felt like this, he is holy and he is going to crush me if I don't run to him. Like he is going to destroy me. And then I felt his compassion and his mercy and love in an experiential way. And then all of the biblical truths I'd ever learned clicked together like, I deserve to die. And my death actually wouldn't

satisfy God. It would go on forever in eternal hell because that's how holy he is. That's how infinitely righteous he is. But an infinitely holy and obedient and righteous God, man, Jesus Christ, suffered once and it counts for whoever believes in him, whoever God elects to salvation. So like, I wouldn't have put it in those words, but I just saw the cross and I was like, mine, my cross. Yeah. Like, I die with you. And then, ever since then, I've been perfect and I'm glorified and I'm like, yeah, my past life now. Dude, you and me both. Man, praise God. Praise God. He's so good. That is amazing. It's been a long road. My wife and I'm married and we had babies and it's been,

I've suffered more as a Christian than I ever did as a, you know, drug pushing Cretan of the Darkness, but I've suffered with Jesus. And like he is so much more valuable and his, his excellencies, like his, he's totally satisfying in,

in all of the rejection and persecution and, uh, and suffering. He's totally worth it. So that's, that's, that's amazing. I can't improve on it.

No, that's, that's, that, you for sharing that. Just, I mean, glory to God. What an, what an incredible testimony. Yeah. And thanks for coming on. Yeah. I mean, I literally, there's nothing else. I feel like listeners in the comments need to tell us, do you want Mason to come back on? Because I feel like there's probably two to ten hours more that we could uncover in the life of a former chaos, death, sex magic, all of that. Yeah. But also just the grace of God. That's, that is,

like just truly, truly amazing. Yeah. Like, glory to God. Let that be the ethos of this episode with all that darkness. Look at how much greater the light is at the end of it. And I mean, if any of y'all listening or can relate to Mason's life before Christ, then heed his words and run to the Lord and be saved. He will take you to bliss and paradise.

It'll also take you to true love and peace with the Father that made you. So yeah, let it be that the Lord is glorified. And again, thank you, Mason, so much for taking your time, out of your busy schedule to come here. That's going to be it for this episode of the Graveyard Shift. Hope you all enjoyed it. And we'll see you next time. Want more haunted Cosmos? Then make your way over to Patreon, where you can get early access to our content, as well as exclusive content in regular dusty tomes and monthly live streams with Brian and myself.

So go to Patreon.com slash haunted cosmos and sign up. Now.