Haunted Cosmos - He Took Ayahuasca as a New Christian? - Graveyard Shift

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

In this episode of The Graveyard Shift, our guest shares his intense experience with Ayahuasca at a luxury resort in Costa Rica shortly after becoming a Christian. Yes… he really was a new Christian, and he tried Ayahuasca.He describes witnessing spiritual warfare firsthand, leading to deep repentance and an overwhelming sense of God’s forgiveness. God really can use His “silliest soldiers.”Brian’s new book, The Longhouse: How Feminism Conquered the West and Made Us Miserable, is now available for pre-order! - Thelonghousebook.comNew Haunted Cosmos shirt available for a limited time! - Get it here!Love Haunted Cosmos? Get access to our exclusive show, The Dusty Tome, early ad-free access to main episodes and monthly Livestreams, by becoming a patron of the show: https://www.patreon.com/c/HauntedCosmosThis episode is sponsored by: Chronicles of the Elohim is a line of premium action figures Visit https://kaleolegends.toys and pre-order your figures todayIndigo Sundries Soap Company - Go to http://indigosundriessoap.com and use code HAUNTEDCOSMOS for 10% off your whole order!Stonecrop Wealth Advisors! Go to this link to check out their special offers to Haunted Cosmos listeners today. https://stonecropadvisors.com/hauntedcosmosMemento is helping thousands of Christian men grow in their spiritual discipline - Go to Memento70.com/haunted and get 10% off an annual membership.White Tree Solutions can help your company’s data problems. Call William at 952-209-9638 or visit WTSData.comGray Toad Tallow. Visit their website here and use COSMOS15 at checkout for 15% off your order. https://graytoadtallow.com/The Ten Minute Bible Hour Podcast Makes fast, fun, free, deep-dive Bible a part of your daily rhythm. Visit: thetmbh.com/bible Buy the Haunted Cosmos book: https://www.newchristendompress.com/cosmos PS: It's also available as an audiobook!If you're a Christian business owner who wants to reach thousands of like-minded people and grow your company, we'd love to partner with you. Email us at [e-mail] Support the show

This episode is brought to you by Caleo Legends. Anyone hearing this, do not do this. Don't do it. Because at one point in the night, I just start laughing maniacically like the Joker. The demons are real and they're right there. I remember going to go home and I'm going to do all these horrible things. I'm going to force my wife. I'm going to do this.

I'm just going to die. Hey, everybody. Welcome to this episode of the Graveyard Shift. The special either spooky season right now or off-season show that we release here on Haunted Cause most. I am your host, Ben Garrett, joined as always by my co-host, Brian Savay. So good to be here, Ben. I 100% remembered that we were doing this recording and prepared myself by dressing appropriately for it. I didn't, I didn't remind Brian 10 minutes before we started that we had to do this. Was it on my calendar? Yes. Is Google Calendar, like advanced technology that very few people are able

to master? And I'm not one of them. Yes. That's also true. That's why Google Gemini is so helpful. also joining us in studio for this episode of the Graveyard Shift is our good friend. We'll call him Steve. Steve say hello to the people. Hello to the people. Now you know Steve. You know everything about it. We can get right in. I'm kidding. We are going to keep up the tradition of doing our icebreaker question. Yes. And have you already thought of one? Because if not I... An icebreaker question? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I have an icebreaker. Okay, go for it. It's not very good, though. I was going to say since we all have zero, like, This episode not brought to you by Dr. Pepper Zero and Coke Zero. I was going to ask whether, like, if this counted as a vegetable, since it's like, do you think that zero calorie sodas count as a vegetable? Since they're basically a health food. That's not really an icebreaker quick.

No, it's more just like I'm trying to justify really, really unhealthy behavior that I've devolved into of drinking like six of these in one sitting. Well, hey, here's one. So that's not an icebreaker, though. This is a two-parter. one, what is your favorite zero drink, zero soda? And then

also, what's your like guilty pleasure, food? Are you a sweet sky? And what does that look like for you? Okay, so to answer the first first question, yes, it's a health food, provided it's cherry or some kind of fruit-flavored version. Strawberries and cream. You're good.

You're good. You're essentially eating strawberries. Yeah. So you're good. That's a great point. Cherry Coke Zero would be my favorite of zero. because of the health food connotations. My guilty pleasure food

I'd probably be a chocolate chip cookie with a ridiculous amount of icing. My wife makes this really good butter cream. I was going to say she makes me a two cookies

into a sandwich with about this much icing. Double doozy. Oh yeah, it's glorious. It's a glory. What are we doing? It's a glory.

You and me both. I'm a big chocolate chip cookie guy and in fact, I'm such a big, chocolate chip cookie guy that the other night I ate seven. Amen. Right before bed. How big are we talking here, my guy? I mean, like, I care about your longevity. Standard like cat head size. Is that because you didn't have eight? Uh, I, did you run out? To be honest, the pan was empty by the time I was done. Yes. Seven. And then, dude, the amount of milk that I trained right after that. That's good for you.

That's fine. Oh, yeah. It, it, it cancels it out. Um, okay. So, everyone knows the rules here on the graveyard And it's shift. Brian and I are going to try to do the best job that we can of basically staying out of the way. And we're really good at it. We're notoriously great at that. We never interrupt and we're never annoying to be around ever. Ask Evan. 100%. Oh, Evan doesn't have a mic. Anyway, Evan said never. We are going to let Steve tell his story, which I believe is about maybe an ayahuasca. Something. Okay. So that's exciting. We're going to let Steve tell a story. And then we're going to unpack it, we're going to ask questions. We're going to have basically a good time. So, we're going to have a good time. Whenever you're ready, however you want to tell it, take it away.

And if we interrupt you, apologies in advance. Clear. No worries. Interrupt away. Kaleo Legends debut series, Chronicles of the Elohim, explores the divine beings referenced in scripture and mythology, framing their story within a biblical worldview. They're asking big questions. If the gods are real and created by the one true God, what were their roles before their rebellion? What were the consequences of that rebellion? And what part does humanity play in the Divine Council? Chronicles of the Elohim is a line of premium action figures that takes a supernatural worldview and turns it into legendary collectibles kids love and collectors display. Visit Caleo Legends dot Toys and pre-order the Chronicles of Elohim figures today.

Are you ready to record Hanna Cosmos? Yeah, for sure. Let me just grab my Grito Totello lip balm, my Grito Tome, my Grito Tsoll, Wipped Bomb for smooth, moistrizo. Why do you need all of that? Dude, I got to feel moist. I got to feel fresh for every episode. Otherwise, I'm not going to perform well. I guess it's a good thing then that gray-toed tallow uses simple organic ingredients instead of synthetic fillers most skin care products use. I'm moisturized. Thinking smooth.

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Security Exchange Commission. This is, there's a lot of talk about ayahuasca, and this is what happens when a baby Christian does ayahuasca. Oh no. Oh, no.

Usually people are, I'm already interrupting. Usually people are like, less than a minute. So before I was a Christian, I got into ayahuasca. You're telling me that this was like, this is your AD phase. This is right after conversion

before I knew. anything. So I knew I was a sinner. I grew up Catholic, left that faith as soon as they didn't have to go to church anymore. So I was kind of one of these, I do mostly good things, not bad things. I'll get to heaven. I'm a decent guy, like everybody. And then I did some really bad things and knew that that wasn't true and remembered probably in 2008 someone had given me the gospel. And I was in a hotel and I prayed to God and asked him for forgiveness and to help. me. I don't know what I was doing, but at that moment I was convicted and knew I was safe. Don't know what that meant, didn't know the doctors of grace were, wasn't reformed, hadn't

even gone to church yet, just trying to figure things out. I had a lot of deep psychological issues I had to deal with him. Before I realized that all I need is the Bible, introspection, the gospel, I thought, well, let's go chase some stuff down. Me being me, I chased a lot of things down, ended up in a very she-she resort that also did ayahuasca. And that was, it was like, this will be a good idea. DMT. I know all about DMT. Imagine the trip advisor.

It'll open up my mind. You go on trip advisor. It's like, what are you looking for? Ayahuasca experience. I'm looking for like whatever part of the Bible tells you to do drugs to become more spiritual. And then they're like, well, we don't have the Bible part of that, but we can help you with the second half of it. In 2023, Indigo Sundries became one of our sponsors.

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Kind of, kind of. Do you want to deal with pain and other things? This will help. Great. Sure. Why not? Why not? I didn't know anything about anything.

Yeah, sure. Sure. So go down. It's a very, very, very shishi resort. So they do, you know, there's a, there's a pool, there's food. There's a spa and a sauna and a really nice gym. And you'd think you're at a four seasons. Matter of fact, I think it might have been a four seasons that got bought out and turned

into something else. Absolutely gorgeous. And they have this building called a Maloka, which is where the ceremonies take place. There's classes. There's people there teaching about DMT and how it affects you and what it does and how to get the most of the ceremony and what the intentions for your ceremony are. Very, you know, very interesting. And then you go to the Maloka and the shamans are there with chanting and beads and smoke

and all kinds of stuff. So it's a very interesting mix of those two things. I'm me not knowing anything thought, let's go. Let's go. This will help me deal with my pain. And it did, but not in the way that I expected. Because you go there and you're there. And the first day, they do ceremonies Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

And the ceremonies are 5.30 till about 2.2.30 in the morning. 5.30 p.m. about 2.30 in the morning. Whenever the shaman decides that it's over. Yeah. based on the people and what's going on and what he's reading in the room. And so you go there and the whole day on the first day of ceremony is just classes about what to do. You're doing journaling.

They're teaching about what the molecule is or is a doctor there talking about DMT and how it works. And talking a lot about that it's a purgative. So they prepare for vomiting and diarrhea, which is apparently the ayahuasca thing. You're going to purge. You're going to purge. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. No, it's a, the way they set it up is when you walk into the Moloka, there's mattresses

that have a bucket and a roll of toilet paper. So you are, you are expected to vomit. And then there's like 16 bathrooms, crazy amount of bathrooms that you're expected to go into. And there's helpers that will swap your bucket out. It's a thing. All I can, all I can imagine is like you're in it. And in your hallucination, the roll of toilet paper is this like roll of spikes or something.

You're like, ah. It's like a demon that you can't touch. Meanwhile, you're letting it, you're letting it rip. What I love about this is this like, it's Taco Bell. Hear me out. Hear me out. Like, we colonized Mexican food. We Americans, we were like taco, you know, Mexican food's great, but what if we made it like even better?

And that's Taco Bell. But it's also a purgative. And it causes the same symptoms as what you're describing. We went and we did with shamanism and ayahuasca trips. We were like, hey, but instead of going in the middle of the jungle and the mud, like, that seems unpleasant. Let's make it a resort. It's going to be great. It's Taco Bell, but it also has the same effect.

You know what? Poop in your pants. That is a great point. Thank you. That was worth adding to the conversation. I think so. I mean, it's basically Miller Light and Taco Bell. Yeah.

Is what I experienced. Yeah. To put it. Have you. Okay. Never mind. So you're- Have I had Miller Light and Taco Bell?

Yes. Well, I was going to ask, have you had the new Miller Light and Taco Bell? celtzers because those things are out of this. You've got to. They're so good. I have not. I'm telling you. It's amazing. I drink masculine drinks. It gives white claw run for its money. Hey, we drink masculine drinks. Okay. Okay. Like then. Cherry goes out. Man up. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. All right. So you were saying. So I don't know what to expect. I got referred to this place by a friend who said it changed his life. Sure, here we go. So I go in, first day of classes.

Everyone's really nice. I got there on a Saturday, you're there Saturday or their Sunday. They have meditation, they have breath work. They have a whole bunch of really cool modalities. You're in class and then you show up outside the Maloka, which is this big building. The ladies go in first and they go to one half of the room and they let the men go in and they have the other half of the room. So there's probably 50 people.

Oh wow. I didn't count, but probably 50 people. Smell. 30 or 40 percent. 30 or 40 women. The rest men's, maybe 20 men. More men? No, 20 men, 30 men. Okay, I heard that backward and I was like shocked.

Nice ears, nose. A lot of, a lot more men than I would have thought. A lot more men. And I'll remind me, I'll tell you about them because I had a lot of conversations with them. And they fall into a couple different categories. But so the first night, you walk in, I don't know what to expect. Sit down. You're there for probably about an hour.

They do a blessing. You get all these shamans and helpers go up from the room and start chanting in this weird language. And they've got this big container, like an iced tea container full of green liquid, which is the ayahuasca, which they make out of vine and a plant. It's two different things that they essentially boil. And so after that, they call for the first cup. So the way that it works is there's three servings in a minimum. And they'll call for the cup and you go up. They give you a little shot glass when you get there.

You go up and you hold the shot glass and they fill it. They do this weird blessing over it where they make some noises and they add it to you. You drink it. And then you sit down on the bed. It is the most disgusting thing. It tastes like the jungle. I mean, grass clippings would taste better.

And when I asked why, they said they don't want to make it taste sweet because they could so that people don't abuse it. They want it to taste disgusting. That's very responsible. Yeah. God was trying to give us, it's called a clue.

Yeah. Yeah, it's really, really gross. I, I, I, uh, anyway. So you take it, you go, you sit down, then there's silence for about an hour. After that, they start playing different music, and they use the music throughout the night to kind of direct the room. It's very interesting. It's very, it's almost scientific based because of the way the music starts out slow,

then it ramps up, goes down, ramps up. And they call for the second cup and the third cup throughout the night. And the idea is, if you are able to get up, go get some, you'll go get some. That's the way they teach it. Don't think just drink. If you're able to get off the mattress, go. If you hear them call for the cup, go get the cup. If you don't hear it, you're good. No problem. But most people go up and get it. And so, night one was weird because I didn't really, it was really kind of underwhelming. I didn't vomit. It didn't have diarrhea. I just kind of laid on my mat. I felt high. I felt drunk. I saw some

things talked to Optimus Prime for a while. That was a good one. We talked about Megatron. He was floating in the ceiling and he and I talked about Megatron for, I don't know how long. See, I'm saying like a native has never spoken to Megatron and we came in and we were like... I'm talking to Optimus Prime, Peter Collins' voice and everything. And then, you know, I started crying, I started having some weird feelings and my purging apparently is laughter. Because at one point in the night I just started laughing maniacically like the joker. And you can't stop. It's this thing where you're just laughing, almost like the Batman movie, where people just start laughing and can't stop.

It was that kind of laughter. It was the whole word was hurting. And that was night one. Night one was kind of boring. I didn't really, didn't see anything other than Optimus Prime. I didn't feel anything other than some sorrow. I was nauseated. I got really hot.

I got to listen to a lot of people yelling and screaming and vomiting and freaking out and running around and people were having all kinds of come apart being pulled out Your classic Bethel worship. Yeah, I was going to say. Oh yeah, worse than that. But yeah, around the, along those lines. Most people are vomiting. Like, there's a lot of vomiting, a lot of vomiting.

And then the music, the music's very loud. The music is actually really, really good at times. It goes up and down. And they know what they're doing with it to try to drive the experience along. And then before you know it, the lights come up and the shambonableness. and says good morning and then he gives you a talk about what to do the next day which is usually restful and drink some water get some rest god bless you see tomorrow so i leave like that's interesting optimist prime okay not the worst thing i've ever done but not exactly amazing

and then night two happened which is what which is what the genesis that this whole talk comes from is night two um because i i think like i said i knew i was i knew i was a christian I had a Bible, I was reading it. I had found R.C. Sprole online and was watching a lot of his videos. Which one did he tell you to go do, like, which one does R.C. say, make sure you try this. He didn't say not to, which was kind of the way that I was running with. It's like, well, there was a twinkle in his eye. You know, it was, I hadn't read enough of the Bible yet to get to the point where, you know, Paul was telling you some things not to do.

And, you know, a lot of the Leviticus stuff where it's like, don't do this. Like, that was kind of not. Yeah. Didn't get to the pharmacia. Yeah, no, it didn't get there. Didn't get there. Understand. Well, praise the Lord that I didn't, because what happened on Tuesday, I'm glad I, I'm glad it happened.

I've seen people talk about what they've seen in terms of demons and things like that, and it's 100% true. And what I'm going to tell you now is along those lines. However, it's different if you go there as a Christian. Now, I'm not suggesting anyone hearing this, do not do this. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it.

If you do it, please don't do it. If you do it, we told you not to. If you love Steve and I do, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. For the love of all that is Steve in the world, don't do it. Don't go to the four seasons and take Iowa. And if you, if you do it, don't leave a review saying haunted Cosmos told me to do drugs. This is an indicative, not an imperative, please. Yes. So Tuesday they have like they have classes. You don't get much sleep. There's yoga. at 7 a.m., which I actually went to.

So I got back to my room, fell asleep probably 4.30, got up, showered, randa yoga, which is in the Maloka. And it's pretty much just laying there while people talk. Like, it's not, there's hardly any, some people are doing poses, but most people are just a mess. And then you get a little, you go, you go to a bunch of classes and you get a nap, and then I went back at 5.30. Go back in, same exact set up, different shaman. So they cycle through the shamans every night.

They're always all there, but the main leading shaman is there. So the way it's set up is there's mattresses everywhere all over the Moloka, men on one side, women, and the other. And the shamans are sitting on the back wall, and then there's helpers everywhere. There's probably more, not probably, there are more people they're helping than there are participating. They have a really good staff. And for the most part, they're very kind people who are just lost. But they're really, they, I never once got the impression that, people didn't want you to get something good out of this.

They just didn't have the right definition of good. So I don't want to. They were like true believers, so to speak. They were, and some of them had gotten some help from it. They had pain now they don't think they do. Sure, yeah. So it's not like anything. It's not going to be horrible.

It's probably going to actually feel pretty good. So the shamans there, there's probably five or six or seven other shaman shaman shaman shaman and all a bunch of helpers. This comes, the reason I'm expressing this is it's important to what comes next. So I go and I take the first cup, I lay it back down on the mat, and I just start having a really bad stomach ache. I start sweating. I start laughing. I just don't feel good. I have the second cup and then I start having some visions. Optimist didn't show up this time, but it was just like random geometric shapes and some other things. This time it was Megatron.

You know, it was, yeah, it was Megatron. Bumblebee. It turned dark. Bumblebee, which in a way is worse. but no, it was just geometric shapes and I just felt horrible. And when you go up to the shaman for the cups, after the first one, they ask you how you're doing. They have a series of questions. Is there you purging?

Have you had diarrhea? Are you seeing things? Have you had a consult? There's a whole bunch of different things that they teach. And after the second cup, I said on the third one, I'm in a lot of pain. I'm hurting. I don't want a lot.

So he poured me like a third of a shot glass. I downed it, went back to the, went back to the mat, still hadn't vomited, still hadn't had diarrhea. I'm like, I'm doing something wrong. I guess I'm not upset that I haven't vomited. I'm not upset that I haven't had diarrhea, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong. The whole time, during yesterday, during Monday and the day I'm praying, I'm asking God for help. I'm asking him to just, my intention was whatever you need me to be, whatever you need me to go. People had all kinds of intentions.

I just had, like, show me what I need to. what I need to be. I don't know how long after the third cup, that's when things started really getting weird. I started having the most horrific thoughts ever had in my entire life. Sexual, murderous, just evil, evil, evil thoughts. I don't want to say what they are

because I don't want to repeat them out loud, but horrible, horrible things. And I'm just laying there, and I'm like, what is going on? I just, and I was reveling in the fact that I was just decided I was going to be able. I remember going to go home and I'm going to do all these horrible things. I'm going to divorce my wife, I'm going to do this, I'm just going to, ah!

And then the music changed. I remember that all of a sudden, it was, I don't know how it shifted, but it was as if I was convicted all over again. Because all of a sudden, God took me back, or someone took me back in my mind to when I was little boy and then from that time till my mid to late 40s every single relationship that I've ever had and everything that I've ever done wrong was put right in front of my face kind of like my head was grabbed and it was shoved in the mud I was actually on my face in the pillow and I was seeing everything I've ever done wrong from relationships all my sin just laid laid bare almost as if hey you want to be evil here's

what evil is. And you've already been evil. You don't need to be evil. That's that. That was the, and I came apart. I absolutely came apart. I started crying. I started begging for forgiveness. And then that moment, I realized that Jesus actually is real. I had known it, but now I knew it. He was real, and I have sinned against him, and I deserve to die. And it was, it was awful. I remember laying, they're going, how can I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know. I just remember saying, whispering it, because I'm not being loud. I didn't know, I didn't know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just crying.

And coming apart, it's coming apart. And in the most amazingly repentant way I've ever been in love. Like, since that time, I haven't repented that time. Like, that was the rock bottom repentance because imagine someone shows you all your sin at once. And not only do you see it intellectually, you start to feel it emotionally. And not only that, it's like Psalm 51. You start to feel what it did to God. And I started thinking, he died and it's my fault.

He died and it's my fault. I had this rumination. I was goylooping in a lot of ways. Like just doing a lot of like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know how long that lasted. I don't. But it was very, very dark.

And the music was very, very dark. And I felt very, very dark. Then, and this is the amazing part, that changed like that. On a dime, all of a sudden I was forgiven. On a dime, I was forgiven. And all of a sudden, he's real, it's real, it's real. This is all, forgiveness is real, it's real, it's real. And I had this feeling of joy and this feeling of just happiness that I've been forgiven.

Not that I had done anything, but that he did everything. Like this idea of it's all real, it's all real, oh my goodness, he's here, he's here with me right now. I remember saying that out loud and the music was getting brighter. Now, that by itself would have been amazing. Then I sat up because as all this is happening, I hear the room getting louder and louder and louder. I'm assuming it's the music. It's not. It's people coming apart. It's people screaming, it's people rolling around, it's people being pulled out of the malocca on mattresses.

because they're screaming. They're like making guttural sounds and like writhing around their mattress and vomiting and yelling ungodly noises. And I sit up and I'm in a good place. God is here. This is amazing. I look over and I see all the shamans are as far away from you are with their back to me surrounding the rest of the Maloka, almost like a wall. And then I look around and all the mattresses that were around me probably 15 are gone. I'm the only one there. And then I'm like, oh, this is okay, all right. And the next thing you know, there's more movement.

People are running. They come, they run, they pull a guy and they throw him over onto the mattress and put him next to me. Then they have this, this, what is it? It's an incense that they used to clear the energy. They bring the pot and they put it next to me. I like this coming. I'm just happy as a clam. One of the shaman's walks by me and trips and,

falls down like 10 feet from me and can't get up. I'm just like, what is, and I see the, I think they were showing, maybe they weren't. They're dark, demonic figures. And at first I thought they were looking at me. But they weren't, they were looking away from me, protecting the room from me. And the whole time, then it dawns at me,

demons are real and they're right there, and then I started laughing. I started laughing. Like, this is so funny. I just had this idea of this is really funny that all of this stuff happening here. Like they put this guy next to me and he gets up and runs out and vomits into the grass. I'm just thinking, like, this is amazing. And they have literally put a shield around a guy who's rolling around on the mattress screaming,

the point where they have to bring him out of the Maloka because he's causing such a disturbance. I'm thinking, this is, I'm watching spiritual warfare. I'm literally less enough to watch spiritual warfare because at that point I realized God is here. They do not like it. They do not like it. And it was a reactionary defensive posture because things start to settle. Music starts to settle. My joy starts to decrease and I come back to myself.

And I never really left myself. I was elated and just looking around trying to like figure things out because I'm high. I'm on DMT. I don't know what I'm seeing. But I know what I'm seeing are not human figures, even though they look human, and they are not happy with me. I lay back down. I know I have not been making any noise, because I know if you make a lot of noise, they will let you pull you out. Laying there, and somebody comes and taps me on the shoulder.

I sit up, hey, and it's the head shaman. And he's looking. He's like, brother, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm great. Like, just take a nap. Why, what's up? He's like, I turned down the air conditioner. You seemed like you were hot.

Are you doing all right? Like, yeah. And I said, am I being loud and disruptive? It's like, oh, no, I'm just checking on you. Like, no, I'm great. I'm great. He's okay, and he walks away. And I thought, well, that's odd.

That's odd that the main guy would come over and just see how I like the air conditioner. And I think that's not why he's here. Looking at this later, not in that moment, looking at it later, he came over because I was a disruptant. I was disrupting things without disrupting things. You don't need to attend seminary to understand the Bible. You can just read it. You can also listen to our friends over at the 10-minute Bible Hour podcast. They create smart, bite-sized chunks of Bible deep dives.

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I was sitting there. I said they are Father and I just start praying and just start asking God for help. And I look around and there's no one within 20 feet of me. Like we started the night with men everywhere and then it's just me and it's as if you drop the bomb and there's a ripple effect and these buildings over here, here didn't get destroyed, but everything here is cleared. And that's what it was. That's absolutely what it was.

So I look over and the shaman's in the ground, everybody looks upset, there's people vomiting still, the energy's just coming down, and they have an altar set up on the other side of the, the shamans are here, the altars here, it's like, and it's got a candle on it. I'm looking at it and I'm praying and I'm like, God, if this is real, if I'm just not,

if this isn't DMT and I'm just seeing things, make that candle go out, please, because the candle goes out. And then they can't relight it. All of a sudden, all of a sudden, and I kid you not, because I asked about this later, and they said they were having trouble, it was like a trick candle, but in the opposite way, every time they lit it, it will go out, lit it will go out, lit it will go out, lit it will go out, and then I spin around on my mattress to face where everybody had gone, and I just start praying for them. I just start praying, I was like, Lord, they're all lost, but they don't seem like they're bad people from a human perspective, but I definitely saw some stuff.

I don't know what I'm doing. Can you please just protect them? And then I see this guy come in. I haven't seen before, and he's wearing white. And he's glowing. I haven't seen anybody wearing white. White's not usually what the helpers were. They wear.

Shamanic garbs are usually darker colored. And he's just walking around the room, stopping and talking to people. It doesn't ever come near me. but he's bright white compared to the background. He's wandering around talking to certain people, and then he leaves. And I never see him again. And I think, well, is that the opposite of what? Is that an angel?

What am I seeing now? Because that guy didn't, I couldn't keep my eyes off him because he seemed pleasant and he was going to certain people, but none of the shamans and none of the helpers, only to people who are in the mattresses. Yeah. And just checking on them and walking away. I was thinking, huh.

That's really wacky. And, you know, then the music comes. Music changes again, I lay back down. I just start thinking about all this. The night ends. I sit up, I'm drenched in sweat. No one's anywhere near me. I mean, like, do I smell?

Like, what happened? Almost definitely. Almost definitely. But it was absolutely insane that the amount of people that were far away from me. So I sat on my mattress, didn't go up to the front when they call everybody around for the last night I just sat there. I was like, I'm not going up there. I'm just going to listen from afar.

And I asked some other people. I hate, was I loud? Like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. A lot of people were freaking up. You weren't loud. Okay, okay, great. And then when the night was over, I walked out of the Maloka.

I looked up at the moon. I started praying, and the thought entered my head. In my voice, you're done. And that was the last drop I, ayahuasca I ever had. You're cut off. So the next two nights, I just had dinner and hung out in the hotel.

Not an hotel resort. Yeah. Went to the pool, went to the ice plunge while they were all drinking. Well, they're all getting hot. And I was, and I told them, I told her, I said, I got very clear message that I'm done. And they were very gracious. Like, okay, are you sure? So yeah, I'm got what I needed.

I'm good. But there is a spiritual warfare. So I look back at this now. There is a spiritual warfare. And we are protected because I was protected. And God used this baby Christian who didn't know any better as a way to kind of put his mark. that even in the demonic, all it takes is one person that I own who doesn't even know what he's doing. Yeah.

To just say a prayer and I will absolutely knock everybody up. That's so funny. It's such a good illustration of how God uses his silliest soldiers. He just, he's like, I was a retard. He's like, I'm going to send a baby Christian who thinks like a great idea is to go on an ayahuasca trip journey at the resort. And I'm just going to absolutely disrupt what the demons are up to at this resort. resort for like two couple nights just this is what I'm going to do this this time around and then and then when he when he sees it I'm going to make sure he knows like don't do that again don't do that again

don't do that again no to that like again I'm great yeah don't do that again that is wild no yeah yeah yeah by the way did you like all the sin okay yeah yeah you remember don't forget yeah you remember now you understand now you're not a good person don't worry but I am so Yeah, yeah. That is so wild. It is interesting to the kind of the kind of mental journey or you know, DMT. How much of it's the drugs. How much of it's you and all that. But it's a real experience. Yes, absolutely is. Yeah. Like I'm conscious and like I'm aware of where I'm right. And it's interesting. I'm going to I'm out of it. Like you would if you had shown up and said, hey, what's your name. I could show you my name. I did birth where I lived. Steve. What I did for. Yeah. Steve. What I did for living. Where I came from, what day of the week it was. So it's not like I was completely out. Right, right. It's interesting how in that you, that's when you kind of went, went down this road of, or we're taking down this road, you know, whatever, of these depraved thoughts, almost like fleeting thoughts that enter your head. And you're like, I would never, I would never think that, though. Or I would never think that now. But then it's like, then you see all that you had done. And it's like, well, think of the type of depravity that I could be. become if I continued in that. Like how even that is a grace. And not just that.

It was that and then to see what it actually was. So the sin was not just sin against others. It was what it cost God. And to have that, that was the biggest gift and grace of that night was you think you've hurt people. You have no idea what you've actually done. And it's okay because I picked you. I redeemed you, but don't forget.

Like, you're not, you're, the pain you've caused is nothing compared to what it actually does. Like the betrayal of God, I hadn't. I considered it, it was more of it. And it was a lot, yes, I read Psalm 51, yes, I understand a sin against God. But I was, it was more the people in front of me that I had hurt was what I was more worried about. And that's okay. But then I got to see and feel the other side of, hey, you know, that's cute that you upset these people and that's not right. look what you did to me.

And look who I am. Look who you are. It is amazing how God can you can, you know, the, the, the, the, the silliest soldier thing. It's like, okay, you put yourself in a position that you shouldn't be in. But I'm going to use you there. But even while I show myself glorious and powerful, it's going to also be a gift to you. You know, it's, it's kind of like, you talked about the candle. It reminded me of when Elijah is like doing his thing with the prophets of bail.

And he's like, pour water on it, you know, more water. And how one of the things that we see in Elijah's life is his fatigue. And he eventually is just like, I just kill, just let me die, you know. And God, of course, helps him, gives him rest and gives him strength. But I've always imagined that maybe at his lowest, at Elijah's lowest, when he was, when he was basically just ready to die and God starts to really minister to him in that direct way. how maybe he remembered that little episode with the prophets of Bail. And he's like, oh, like, that was also a gift to me to see the strength and the glory of God. It wasn't me, you know, it was him.

And so how much more might he do something kind for me now? It's just always like the generosity of God in those things. There's the patience and the forbearance and there's the insistence on doing good even when we're being loopy. But then there's also like he uses us for good for other people. And at the same time, he does us more good than we could ever imagine. Why do you think, do you have any idea of why that white figure went to who he did? The problem what I had was I didn't know who they were in the dark. And once the lights are back on, everybody's moved.

So you wonder. I don't know. You know, it's like, I'm 100% certain. It was God at least showing me, hey, you know, there's demons here. I'm still in. It's a powerful picture. Like you're there and they're facing outward saying we need to

we need to put a stop to whatever is going on here because we have to protect like it's an inversion. We have to protect these people from the influence of this more powerful spiritual force that has showed up. It's disrupting them from doing what we want them to do. That's wild.

It's like the demons, you know, in Paradise Law when when the fallen angels start circling the wagons to fight the war in heaven and then when they're finally expelled They immediately fall into their their pride and their their own selfishness But there is that moment where it's like no, we're gonna We got to keep this going as much as we can you know when I was repenting was when it was at its worst for them Because I was just begging for forgiveness and saying I remember laying they're going how could I sat up like how could I know I didn't know how could anyone know. I didn't know. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know who you were. I'm supposed forgive me, forgive me. Just I remember I said something like, just let me be on the

farthest outskirts of heaven, but just don't, just don't abandon me. Like I just wanted to be like here. Yeah. Just I, if I could barely see the light, I just want to be able to see it. And I remember that's when I sat up and that's when things really started getting like nasty in the room, really nasty in the room. People were freaking out. They were pulling people out of the room. There was a ton of activity. And people were screaming and rolling around and growling. And it was, and they were getting people away from me as fast as they could.

Once the joy came, I could kind of see what had happened. But looking back on it now, one sinner repenting caused a whole bunch of havoc. There's one. And it's, you know, it's the prodigal son idea of one sinner says he saw all of heaven rejoices. It was like in all of the demonic realm. Nashes its teeth. And freaks out and circles the wagons. But they couldn't come near me.

Yeah. It reminds me, I've been thinking about Jonah recently because I'm doing a series through Jonah. But how in Jonah four, when God is like, should I not care for these Nineveites? They don't know their right hand from their left.

And, you know, that figure, whatever, whoever, that figure in white was doing, it does at least make you think of that image of like, yeah, this is the, you're going into the den of human wretchedness

to the point where it smells and sounds and looks disgusting. But these people don't know their right hand from their left. Aren't those the people that God shows pity to? He doesn't delight in the death of the wicked. And they're there seeking meaning and a spiritual experience and truth and, you know, that's what they're seeking after. I mean, the demons would love it. nothing more than for them to have a great spiritual experience and go become an apostle of,

oh, you've got to go try this, you know, getting, that's what they want. Right. So for you to show up, it's interesting that the result was actually misery around you, like howling wretch. They were not happy. Like, it disrupted the self-actualization, false revelation, all of the things that people, when they say, like, you need to do ayahuasca, they're talking about. those things happening. But you and what the Lord did and you in that room, it threw sand in the

gears of the whole plan. And so all, you know, all the demons were like, it's like the Lord of the Rings, you know, I think a servant of the enemy would seem fair, but feel fouler and how they, it's this ayahuasca thing. When you go into the room, it's like there are mattresses and buckets. All right. Kind of hard to paint that over. But it's at this resort. There's all the, it's beautiful. The people are so kind and they're so inviting and they probably genuinely are like you know like the the true believers but you can't you can't paint over the fact that once you're in it no it's like this this is this will be foul to you what what country was it again Costa Rica that's right wow so what about the I know you mentioned some of the characters that you that you met there last thing I want to say

before I get there yeah they gave me no pushback when I said I wasn't coming on Wednesday Thursday okay cool you sure yeah okay cool yeah okay just you know what the gym's open we'll give you dinner you leave you leave in there like think oh man when they came up for the last night they do brag I kept going to the breath work in the meditations because the breath work is just breath work I love breath work I think it's actually physiologically helpful and meditation was more just stillness like just lay and think and they're playing music and it's nice and stuff like I'll pray and take a nap great but what When I went up there the last night, the outside of the Maloka is a fire.

And it's a really well-built fire, like outdoor fireplace. I need a fire pit. It's bigger than this table. It was destroyed. Absolutely destroyed. Wrecked with sledgehammers. And I said, well, what happened here? Oh, the energy was really off this week.

So we destroyed this. We have to rebuild it. Nice. I kid you not. They couldn't light the candle. I kid you not. And it was wrecked. And it's probably,

it's probably 10 grand, 10, 12 grand. I mean, it's a really nice, well maintained fire. It's, it's real fire. It's not gas.

There's a guy that tends it all night. And it was completely destroyed. Dang. Wow. And we're going to rebuild it this weekend because we're starting again on Monday, so we're going to rebuild this weekend.

I'm not saying we should send operatives in. I'm not saying I did that, but I kind of did that. Because we shouldn't. I know this. No. Don't,

don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. We're not going to do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Wow.

That's wild. In terms of the people that I met, I talked mostly to the men. The men that I met fell in one of two camps, really lost men who were really earnestly seeking for something. And I gave a handful of them the gospel. I met a couple Mormons and gave them the gospel. I met one guy from not here, but somewhere in Utah. And then the other camp are just drug addicts. Wow.

Because when you talk to them, they have done mushrooms, Ibogaine, ayahuasca, You know, they do THC like it's their job, but they're constantly, they've done LSD. They've done everything that I can name and some things I haven't heard of. And that's tough because I've heard a lot. But, and I would ask them because I'm me, what are you trying to get that you're constantly smoking marijuana and you've done ayahuasca now for three weeks? And like, what are you looking for? Like, I don't know, I'm just trying to fix myself.

This guy over here, he told me what his problem was. He said on his wife. He's a syrilymander. He chases money. He can't. No matter what he does, he's not happy. Okay, I'm not saying he's seeking it in the right place, but I get him. You're just a drug addict.

And I don't understand you. Although I do understand you. So it broke down to that. I met one other Christian that I pretty sure is an actual Christian. She was a girl, and she was there with a bunch of girls. And she drank one night, didn't go back. Because I saw her on Thursday at dinner. I was like, oh, you're not drinking?

Because Thursday night is a 24, is an all night. thing where you go at 630 you're there until 9 in the morning. So it's an all night. It's a different, it's a different, it's more drinking the jungle. And I asked her, she's like, oh, I'm not, no, I was done after the first night. This isn't the place for me. Amen. I get that.

I understand. But looking back at this, this was years later. And now that I'm much more mature in my faith and I, like, you know, it's, I don't know everything, but I know a lot. It felt like a good story to tell. Yeah. Because I look back at the night and I think about it and I was like, okay, that was God. If I wasn't a Christian before that night, I definitely was after that night because I was convicted of sin at an amazingly deep level.

I repented at an amazingly deep level and I had the joy of freedom at an amazingly deep level, which I had had before. But it was almost as if God was giving me a gift, which has, has in the years since when I look back on it more a lot of fruit in other people's lives because I can be so confident it's like hey I don't know anything but I know one thing and it's true absolutely true demons wouldn't be so upset if it weren't true yeah testament to that that sovereign grace of God we don't live in a dualist universe where evil actually is a thing that that has any hope or real power in and of itself and so even the the stadium of the evil one that it thinks it can carve out for itself.

God is like, I can reach right into that. I just have to do whatever I want. I don't even have to send in some kind of elite apostle or pastor. I'm going to send in like, this guy's been a Christian for 16 minutes. He doesn't even know not to do drugs. And it's like, deploy Steve.

Steve goes in, and they're smashing up their fire pits and their altar doesn't work. And I wonder, like, The angels, dude, the angels are looking down like, foam. It seems like, hey guys, really love the breath of work and they're like, this is amazing food. You guys are so nice. Steve.

God, that man broke our altar. This gym is great. You're just sitting there doing chest flies. What is this? What is this? What is this? What is this? I'm drinking?

Okay, sure. Yeah. The great cloud of witnesses looking down with like foam fingers. Yeah. It's like, Steve. Next thing, next thing you know, by myself. Yeah.

Yeah. Where'd everybody go? Was I loud? No. Oh, that is. I feel like I was loud. there's no one around me. That guy was disruptive somehow.

Was I sweaty or farting? That is classic. It's like in Bible college, I remember the professor. He was, we were going through Revelation. It was like some wildly dispensation. I am not even like overall in terms of the doctrine. I got in the class, not great. But this stuck with me.

It's the part in Revelation where the angel goes and he binds Satan with like, you know, from the chain and everything and throws them in the pits so he can't deceive the nations. And he's like, we all picture this great archangel, you know, like Michael or someone going down there is just like super, ripped and he's got like eight wings and he's just throws Satan down. He's like, no, no, I think God picked the runtiest angel, like the last string. He didn't make the football team. Like he was,

he was you, the lowest aura angel, which is still probably pretty, pretty solid. And he was like, hey, can you go buying Satan for me? And he's like, yes, sir. And he just, and say, it's like, trying everything. Oh, you mean, Lucifer, the one that walked in the garden of God? The morning light. The dawn star? Because God really does love to use the weak things to shame the strong. Like he loves to demonstrate that it really wasn't the power of Elijah. It wasn't the power of Michael. It was like it was derived power from God. And God wants to make it so plain.

No one's going to be able to even think to take credit. Even the person that is involved in it's like, I don't know what just happened, but that was pretty cool. Yeah. And that's why if you. Where to go. if you scheme to try and reverse engineering, be like, we're going to go and infiltrate the thing. And God would be like, no, that's no.

Nice. If I were to go back now, it would probably be in a horrible experience. It would be like, no, this is. I just vomit all night and be sick. Yeah. It's like I was telling someone this today. Like there's so many,

there's so many operative forces in the world. You know, there's natural forces and there's natural affection and and stuff has consequences. And like, we live in a high stakes world. But like the operative force that's over and above everything is the grace and the power of God. And he simply gets to do whatever he wants. He can do whatever he pleases. And all of the thing, all of those forces of nature and, in a natural affection that he designed

and called good at any moment, he can use those or he can go against those. And he can say, I'm going to do this. And everyone's going to be either impressed or terrified or a little bit of both. And the bad guys quote unquote, don't even know what's going to happen. Yeah. No, they've got it. Like they know nothing. Nothing. Yeah. They live in the absolute worst kind of abject terror. Yeah.

It's like, oh, do you, are you scared of Satan? I'm like, no, I'm not scared of, I'm not scared of Satan. I'm scared of God. Yeah. You're like, you don't understand. I am terrified of God. People don't get this about Christians. They're like, oh, they're all, you know, they must be just these superstitious people.

They think there's, like, and I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not. It's not the demons that worry me. It's always like, man, what if I displeased God? What if I, because can you imagine falling into the hands of the living God? I saw what happened to Jerusalem. Without grace. Like you are cooked. You are cooked.

But then, but the flip side's true too. Why would you fear anything else when, you know, it gives you such courage and freedom also just from the feeling like it's all up to me. Well, it's actually not. Like if you will just do what God says, just do what he says. Trust me. It'll work out. You're like, I don't get how the math's going to work on this thing that God wants me to do.

Don't worry about the math. It's like in, you'll figure it out. In Peralandra, like the best moment in Peralandra, when Ransom is like, you want me to like fist fight the devil? Yeah. And God's like,

that is what I want you to do. And then he drops that line to the unman when he's like, you know, God is, like, he's, uh, Mal Aldill, he's so weak. He had to become a,

one of these creatures. Yeah. And Ransom's like, tell her that was that pleasant for you. you. When God became man, was that good for you? Yeah. That work out. And the other thing that I realized through that ceremony was, you know, I don't need to worry about the devil. Not that I think he's a non-factor, but I do more

than enough sin without him. It's like the Dante, Dante's inferno when he, the devil says, I haven't had 10 men in a millennia. They're doing just fine on their own. I'm like, yeah, that's me. I'm not nearly sanctified or sanctimonious enough for the devil to even know who I am. He doesn't need to show up and help. Yeah. He's upset. He may have learned that God did something, but not because of me. Yeah. Because I was perfectly sinful without any help from him. I am well schooled up.

These people that walk around saying, the devil made me do it. No, you made you. He's getting the report from the demons. They're like reporting in. He's like, you know, hey, Costa Rica, how are we doing? We got that resort now, right? And the demons are like. It's still there.

He's like bad news, sir. And it's like the scene. How much do we have in the discretionary fund? What's the Hitler movie where it's always, you know, he's in the room and he's in the reports. And Hitler's like shaking. and he's getting slowly more mad. I can't remember the movie.

He's in the bunker. He's in the bunker. Yeah, I've seen it. And the demons are like, Mind Fior, we have, we were doing the ayahuasca. It was going well. And then Steve,

he showed up and he was, and we could not stop him. We tried everything. It's not our fault in Mind Fure. And then he's just like, he's like, everybody leave the room right now. I'm so annoyed.

Give me the dossier on Steve. And then they find out it wasn't. It's not the inglorious movie. No, it's a day. I can't remember. It's the one people always make a meme out of it. It's pretty funny.

funny me guys that was that was a great episode of graveyard shift one of one of the best that steve thank you so much for coming in appreciate you i pray that you continue to be such a great witness for the kingdom and that you enjoy the rest of your coke zero yes sponsored by cook zero not sponsored but it could be no they they're going to send us a cease and desist they're going to send us a cease and desist they're going to be like i don't want you sponsoring it because i googled you and it's not really a brand fit sure that's probably what they're going to say say to us. But that's their decision. As far as we're concerned, you can sponsor the show. Coke. Coke. God. Your people call our people. Thank you guys for tuning into this episode of the

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