Head-ON With Robyn Roxanne Kincaid - Head-ON With Roxanne Kincaid, 27 April 2026, Moran Monday

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

LIHOP or MIHOP? Me, I'm a LIHOPper. No way a guy goes swanning around D.C. with a shotgun and no one notices. The reactions afterward were even more stupid. 

The password is bounds. It's showtime. Here we go, live from behind the corn phone curtain. It's head-on with Roxanne Kincaid. Three hours of cussin and discussin, with America's only liberal trans-billy elitist right here, right now, on the head-on radio network. Brought to you in part by Cole River Mountain Watch,

who invites you to be part of the uprising against Mountain... top removal, CRMW.net. And now, from high in the hills of West by God, Virginia, here she is. Roxanne Kincaid. Howdy. And here we go, off and running on this 27th day of April. 2006, this is the horn. Head on.com.

That's where you'll find us on the interweb tubes. That's where you go if you'd like to be part of the Mary Wacky's Any Real Time Madcap Multimedia Extravagan. that is the horn chat room now housed in the old holler tree on the discord server uh well wherein we gather and uh cuss and discuss and yeah and uh you're mighty welcome if you're listening uh if you're listening to the program as a podcast thank you so much for joining us in that way if i could uh if i could prevail upon you to please make sure you're subscribed and uh leave a comment or remark or review what have

you interact with the interact with the podcast reply to others build a little buzz around it that sure would be helpful and thanks to those of you who already do thank you most sincerely and again if you're listening

live well I'm awfully glad to be in your good company and feel free to pop by the aforementioned Mary Wacky Zaney where the early arrivers away at you hi Ralps how are you and well we'll see what the next three hours have in store for us. Hi, I'm Roxanne, and what a weekend.

Yeah, I know. But every program here at the Horn begins with gratitude, and this program is, of course, no difference. So thanks go out to our 27th, 26th, and 25th of the month, subscribers and contributors via PayPal. Thank you so much to Jeff Inslow. for a have a show on me. Thank you so much for that.

And thanks as well to News Ninja Gene. Yes. Thank you, Daryl in Houston. Thanks as well to Ralphs. Thank you to Emilio. And thank you to Charlie at APS Radio News. Thank you so much. Thank you to Mark.

Mark. Thank you, Peter. Thank you all for being partial sponsors of the program and helping to keep this all on the air. What does that mean? Well, it means that the brown paper bag deficit for the month of April is down to $4,580. So let's see, we are $1,580. That's basically a week's fund. away from being halfway funded for the month of April. And, well, this is looking like the grimest month that the horn has ever faced. And quite honestly, it's terrifying. And, well, hopefully, over the next four days, we'll get that knocked down. And, by the way, a little program note, as of Thursday and Friday of this week, Tara Devlin, she of Tara Buster, and I will be substituting for Mike Malloy over at the Malloy program on Progressive Voices on Tune In. So I hope you enjoy that.

I know, well, Tara and I have a blast every time we get together to fill in for Mike. So that's Thursday and Friday. about that password bounds well let's use it in a sentence to believe that what happened on Saturday was a random act completely out of the blue

strains to the breaking point the bounds of credulity Mm-hmm. Yes, and you're absolutely right. Lee in New York. Ramalama ding-dong for Jeff Henslow for the Have a Show on me.

Thank you indeed. Thank you very kindly. And, oh, yeah, let's do a little more math there. Let's make it 45-55. Recalculating No, it does. It's sad, really? No.

No. As Joy in Ann Arbor pointed out to me, she said, I'm with the LIHop gang on this. Based on the information we have now, the attack may not have been staged, but they knew he was coming and let him through to create chaos and fear in order to further their ballroom bunker agenda. His brother notified police 48 hours in advance.

He was on a watch list. We're talking about coal, whatever his name is. Levitt couldn't resist teasing it just prior, and Trump showed no surprise, and his entire dossier was ready for the smug-smiling press conference. They let him through on purpose. Oh, thanks, Jeremy. The Super Friends Room should be picked Discord now.

Somehow the toggle to disable mics was thrown. Okay. Tara and I will check that out on Thursday. Okay. Thank you, Jeremy. I appreciate it. So, yeah, my hop. It wasn't staged.

One person said, I prefer calling it a patsy setup. as a performer and director to me staged means something professional rehearsed and safe for the audience and performers not letting an armed man run through the lobby for sensationalist PR purposes and you've probably seen it by now by now but you know here we are first draft of history and all of that so yeah let's take a quick jog by well there she was carrie Caroline, real poopoo, leave it alone. And she was being interviewed by Fox News TV Radio Rwanda. And by the way, they don't just feed her information to regurgitate to the public. No, I've, uh, uh, how, I read a long, long thinky piece from the New York Times earlier today. that talked about her being actually Caroline Real Pooh, leave it alone, not even 30 years old,

in the situation room as Nitwit Niro was planning his dirty, sneaky, filthy, underhanded, well, sneak attack on Iran, that shameful bit of dirty business. And, yeah, she was right there. No, they just let her in, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, here, here then. Fox News TV ran up to her and stuck a camera and microphone in her face before the nerd prom. That's what we used to call it on Saturday, where she offered up this assessment. It'll be funny. It'll be entertaining.

There will be some shots fired tonight in the room. So everyone should tune in. It's going to be really great. I'm looking forward to hearing it. There'll be some shots fired. in the room. Yeah, sure. That's just a... That's just a bit of irony.

Sure. No, no, Randy Radar. I haven't lost the plot. Nobody... No, just... No. No. This is...

Don't overthink things. She was in on it. Caroline, real poo-poo, leave it alone. Was in on it. and the video footage yeah the video footage was pretty

interesting as well as well as the still footage thank you to our pal Texas tea before making me aware of a photo of Stephen it actually looks like they were doing

a conga line or the bunny hop but it was actually Stephen Miller mayonnaise mouth hairless hydrick using his wife Katie pregnant in a body con dress, no less,

as a human shield. The shots weren't coming from back toward the dais where his back is facing. They were coming from whatever shots there were forward of him. So he shoved Katie out in front of him to take a bullet in case one was you know, aimed at him, but he knew, he knew. And quite possibly the work,

grossest part of it all is the fact that in the photo you can see that he's actually grabbing Katie's right breast as he hides behind her Jesus God just repulsive all the way around then there's the photo of melanoma who looks completely shocked while knit with Nero just sort of has a vacant look on his face. And then another weird thing. There were SWAT, uniformed, body armored SWAT agents. No. And they got NITWITNRO up, and he was so out of it, he fell to the ground.

And they dragged his ass up again. Is this where I yell, fight, fight, fight, and put a maxi pad on my ear? Ugh, the whole thing was just sickening. And then it took, I mean motorcades and everything, I get it, but, hey, this is an attempt on the life of the president. That's what we're told. And so he, you'd think they would have just gone hell bent for leather to get him back to the White House. But then it took rather a long time to get him into the White House.

White House brief of the briefing room the press the press room where the first damn thing he said we see this is why i need my ballroom i want my ballroom i got out my ballroom he's practically crying because he's been bitching and moaning about that the piece of litigation for over a week now oh yeah and then there's the fact that the shooter who had a handgun. We are told several bladed weapons. Please. Bladed weapons. Bladed weapons.

A handgun. And a shotgun. A shotgun. I don't care where he parked. I don't care how he got in. Anybody walking around anywhere in D.C. with a shotgun will be stopped.

Because it's illegal. It's not like it's Texas or West Virginia where a member of the gravy seals can just strap on a long gun and go a swan and a through and a strolling around the community. No, D.C. doesn't do that. But somehow or another, he didn't get stopped. And he got past the magnetometer. you shot a guy who was up-armored. Oye. Just not credible.

Plain and simple. Yeah. So when they finally did get him, I guess, Adderald enough to be able to speak. Oh, by the way, there was no comedian this year because you can't do comedy around Nittwit Nero. So they had a...

mentalist, a mentalist, really. Somebody who predicts things and knows the future. Curiously, the mentalist didn't know what apparently everybody else on the Trump team knew. And we looked at all of the conditions that took place tonight, and I will say, you know, it's not a particularly secure building. I didn't want to say this, but this is why we have to have all of the attributes of what we're planning at the White House. It's actually a larger room, and it's much more secure. It's drone-proof, it's bulletproof glass.

We need the ballroom. That's why Secret Service. Yeah, he didn't want to say this, but it's the exact very first thing he said. Oh, my ballroom! That's why the military are demanding it. They've won at the ballroom for 150 years for lots of different reasons, but today's a little bit different because today we need levels of security that probably nobody's ever seen before. Nobody. Nobody's ever. Yeah, we need security like nobody's ever seen before. You know, Lincoln was riding back from the countryside when a competitor's sympathizer decided to,

make an attempt on his life, not the one that was successful. He didn't come back to the White House and call a press conference and say, Well, you know, I didn't... No, no. Well, you know, I didn't want to have to say this, but this is why I need a fully armored carriage, just like a hundred years from now,

they'll show in a program on something called the TV, called the Wild Wild West. that's the kind of carriage that I need. Ah, God. What a con. What an absolute con. And the only people falling for it are the ones who are willing to fall for it. And, of course, the first person they got out of the room was, curiously enough, Jimmy Dick Bowman.

He's already looking away. And someone comes and grabs him by the suit jacket. And then comes the SWAT team, their presence being quite surprising, really. And then Nittwit Nero falls down, gets up, head bowed. No fight, fight, fight. Hey, can anybody remember? No Googling, no cheating. Can anybody remember the name of the 20-year-old kid

squeezed off around at nitwit Niro in Butler, Pennsylvania, because I can't. No medical records either. Just a reminder. And then some more full battle rattle dudes come running after behind it. Oh, come on, no. No.

So his numbers are in the shitter. His Iran problem that he created is only getting worse. gas prices are going up up up up up he's losing in court over the ballroom and we get this when he hasn't even attended the White House correspondence dinner

for quite some time but we get yeah this ah nope not buying it not buying it apparently they think we're stupid

and so now they're after who? Yeah. They're after Jimmy Kimmel. Oh, and by the way, if you're the public defender who has been called on to defend this latest shooter or, you know, whatever, you got to be grateful. And nitwit Niro may actually get called to the stand over this.

This is the guy upon whom they're, There was said to be a threat to his life, and in public on Saturday night, he said, oh, he's a very sick person, a sick, sick person. So, hey, thanks Donald Trump for setting up his monotent defense, his insanity defense. And then there's the so-called manifesto, which the multimillionaire for-profit media got hold of, lickety split he writes his follows and it's uh his name is cole allen computer guy from california substitute teacher hello everybody so i may have given a lot of people a surprise today let me start off by apologizing to everyone who's trust i abused i apologized to my parents for saying i had an interview without

specifying it was for most wanted guys got a sense of humor i apologize I apologize to my colleagues and students for saying I had a personal emergency. By the time anyone reads this, I probably most certainly do need to go to the ER, but can hardly call that not a self-inflicted status. You know, they didn't even shoot at him. They didn't even shoot at him. I apologize to all of the people I traveled next to, all the workers who handled my luggage and all the other non-targeted people at the hotel

who I put in danger simply by being near. I apologize to everyone who was abused and or murdered before this, to all those who suffered before I was able to attempt this, to all who may still suffer after, regardless of my success or failure. I don't expect forgiveness. But if I could have seen any other way to get this close, I would have taken it again. My sincere apologies. On to why I did any of this.

I am a citizen of the United States of America. What my representatives do reflects on me. And I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes. Well, to be completely honest, I was no longer willing a long time ago, but this is the first real opportunity I've had to do something about it. While I'm discussing this, I'll also go over my expected rules of engagement, probably in a terrible format, but I'm not military, so too much. bad. Administration officials, not including Mr. Patel.

They are targets prioritized from highest ranking to lowest. Secret Service, their targets only, if necessary, and to be incapacitated non-lethaly, if possible, aka I hope they're wearing body armor because center mass with shotguns messes up people who aren't. Hotel security, not targets if at all possible, aka unless they shoot at me. Capital Police, same as Hotel Security, National Guard. guard, same as hotel security, hotel employees, not targets at all, guests, not targets at all. In order to minimize casualties, I'll also be using buckshot rather than slugs, less penetration through walls. I'd still go through most everyone here to get to the targets if it

were absolutely necessary on the basis that most people chose to attend a speech by a pedophile, rapist, and traitor, and are thus complicit. But I really hope it doesn't come to that. Okay. you'll notice at no point in time does he mention even mention the name of Donald Trump. It doesn't use any euphemisms, nitwit, neuro, tangerine, Tiberius. No. And it certainly doesn't sound, well, it sounds like he planned it as best he could. And then there's this moment. Oh, where'd it go?

Oh, I thought for sure I had it. Nora O'Donnell, you know, the journalist, interviewed him afterward, and read him the language about a pedophile and a rapist, and it went Nero immediately said, well, I'm not a pedophile and I'm not a rapist. To which Nora O'Donnell simply replied, oh, you think he was talking about you? because at no time did she say he accused you of or nothing these are his words well I'm not a pedophile I'm not a rapist oh you think he was talking about you

okay thank you goddess of irony that was that was a good one I didn't see that one common and then again of course there's the fact that he has been adjudicated by a jury of his peers and by a United States District Court judge oath sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States to be a sexual predator

a sexual abuser if not an outright sexual assaulter because, well, E. Jean Carroll, you'll recall, couldn't tell if that was his thumb or his dingus. And then the United States Court of Appeals, Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the verdict and the findings and now that little dweeb that

we heard from a week or so ago in his confirmation hearings to sit on the Circuit Court of Appeals is representing him in front of the Supreme Court asking that the verdict to be overturned that's going to be a that's going to be a bit of a mess

for them why not Patel Mike asks well because my guess uh the shooter was brown and so is patel maca says but to be honest not the worst manifesto i've ever heard not an endorsement either agent fred no nobody's endorsing no i can never be supportive of violence oh that's good Victoria just sent this to me And the man in the back said

Let's fake and attack at it And use it for a ballroom grift Ballroom grift Ballroom grift Rollroom grift Roxanne, no singing We're $4,555 in the hole

This is no time for it But still ballroom grift Somebody got on that pretty quick What a weekend So the larger question For the Horn family community congregation is, are we falling for any of this? Because your humble ostus is not.

Ah, thank you, Lee. There's the NITWITNRO's cell phone. Not cell phone, self-own. Self-own. Yeah, it's much better when it's live. When it's the actual clip. Here we go. So-called manifesto is a stunning thing to read, Mr. President.

He appears to reference a motive in it. He writes this quote, Administration officials, they are targets. And he also wrote this. I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes. What's your reaction to that? Well, I was waiting for you to read that because I knew you would,

because you're horrible people, horrible people. Yeah, he did write that. I'm not a rapist. I didn't rape anybody. I'm not a pedophile. Do you think he was referring to you? Excuse me. I'm not a pedophile.

You read that crap from some sick person. And the public defender says, thanks again. Sick person, yeah, thanks again. Oh, you think that was about you? I got associated with stuff that has nothing to do with me. I was totally exonerated. Your friends on the other side of the, the plate are the ones that were involved with, let's say, Epstein or other things.

But I said to myself, you know, I'll do... You know, totally exonerated. It's a hell of a phrase to use when you've got a $100 million-plus judgment against you for sexually abusing a woman in a department store in the 90s. I do this interview, and they'll probably... I read the manifesto, you know, he's a sick person. Again, thank you on behalf of the public. defender, thank you. You'll be great on the stand. I wonder if he'll be ready for it then when the public defender reads the manifesto to him. He says, I'm not a pedify. I'm not a racist. Oh, you think he was talking about you? Because at that point in the criminal trial, the defendant may or may not, well, I mean, the defendant will not have taken the stand as yet, and therefore cannot say who he meant yet if he chooses to take the stand at all. And I don't know how good that federal public defense.

is. But my goodness gracious, that trial could turn into a real mess. You should be ashamed of yourself reading that because I'm not any of those things. Mr. President, these are the gunman's words. Excuse me. Excuse me. You shouldn't be reading that on 60 minutes. You're a disgrace. But go ahead. Let's finish the interview. The other thing that he wrote in the... You're disgraceful. The other... You're disgraceful. I'll show you what a real Now a real little girl should act. Sick motherfucker.

Thanks, Lee, for that. I thought I had it. Yeah, I think we're already there, Randy Radar. He's going to need a distraction from the distraction from the distraction. Well, the Iran War was the distraction from the Epstein files. Melanoma's weird little speech was a distraction from the Iran War. Last night was a distraction. Saturday night was a distraction. I think we're at the fourth distraction, not the third one. And from Lee in New York's security story. This was a tech story from computer world years ago. A company hired white hat hackers to test their security.

The hackers looked at the building. There was only a receptionist at the interests. They called the company phone numbers overnight to see who had an out-of-office message. Three of the white hat hackers enter. They're talking to each other as they go past the receptionist. They enter and ask for the out-of-office manager. They express stress at getting the project done. Staff helps out. The hackers get badges, access to the data center, and log-ins.

They apologize to the receptionist as they leave. P.S. Ballroom Buffoon thinks that curtains at Mar-a-Lago are security on the level of a skiff in the White House. They know that's underground. Oh, and by the way, in that really long, long piece from the New York Times that I mentioned a few minutes ago, go, yeah, it turns out these goons actually invited Psycho Beebe into the situation

room. Everything eventually turns into a scene from a movie. The only thing was there wasn't a general Buck Turgensen in the room to say that Mr. President, he'll see everything. He'll see the big board. Yeah, we'll get a little further

into that story maybe in a little bit. not i that oddly enough flavio that was the first thing i thought of when i read about the mentalist was eury geller invited to bend spoons with his mind now this guy this guy was more along the lines of a uh is this your card a type of mentalist the smirk of the survivors flavio adds with an image from uh canadian journalist mark slipinski drew sharp attention to a photo of defense secretary Pete Hegseth appearing to smirk in the aftermath of the White House correspondent's dinner shooting, calling the expression inconsistent with someone who had just survived a security threat.

Slopensky was pointed out in his framing that those smirks, he wrote, tell a completely different story. The post sparked immediate debate online about the demeanor of senior administration officials in the chaotic moments following Saturday's attack. Yeah. the DUI hire Whiskey Pete is grinning like a fox eating shit out of a wire brush Caroline real poo-poo leave it alone has a smirk on her face like she just let go of an SBD

and melanoma is just she's just a grinning and smirking we haven't seen that much smirk in a presidential administration since oh, I don't know, the dim leader administration. Rhee, you've lost the plot from the Camel Cardinal. I tend to agree with that line of thinking. You have lost the plot, friend, and I'll even go one further. Your unwavering tirade against AI tells me,

Thou doth protest too much. The latest large language model support live interactions, so the fact that you're reading this in real time doesn't prove jack squat. This show has been hosted by an AI host since January 2nd, 2021, ladies and gentlemen. The Powers That B disappeared, the former, ahem, guy. Well, you got me. Daggummit, you got me. And I'm sure these high-pilutin AIs can even do impressions of my former voice.

so that kind of explains some of the reruns, and that means the Camel Cardinal Brother Deakin is in on it. And from Kim in New York, ah, Trump's call for unity. Lasted about five minutes. I'm paraphrasing Trump to O'Donnell. They're the people on your side with the ones involved with Epstein and other people. Oh, Kim, my cynicism has had too profound an effect on you,

because Kim's next line is kumbaya my lord kumbaya boy some journalist is going to come back at him when he insults them it sure won't be nor O'Donnell but someone will please God I know we're all waiting for that day hi Steve Steve in New York says hey I just logged on do you think the shooting was well suspicious that doesn't even no it doesn't even begin into approach what the shooting was. It was comically inept. And as to Stephen Miller using his wife as a human shield, and the precious little fetuses, well, there's only one fetus. Jerry knows the shots were coming from her right front.

And it's like he was pushing her in toward the bullets. Yeah. Lee noting as to Stephen Miller, masculine man of masculine masculinity, manliness. Stephen Miller is as brave as he does not have to be. Exactly. Katie, you're taller than me. Here, let me hide behind you.

And from Michael, will this attempt to be buried? Or like the Butler P.A. attempt be blocked from happening? Well, I think Butler was a fuck up. I don't think they meant for a maggot hardcore supporter to get his brain scattered all over the crowd. There were supposed to be shots.

And it went Nero burst the blood capsule against his ear. Went to the ground. The Secret Service did their bit. And then they raise him up and he's got his fist in the ear. You think, they, thight, they. Hard for the course, really, when you think about it. Oh, and... By the way, and yes, Ralphs, the Friday challenge was met.

But Ralphs has a more-in- Monday challenge. A $25 Melissa Isaac challenge. Don't know who Melissa Isaac is? Raps does. She's a newly hired immigration judge, Melissa Isaac is, and just pure maggot at one point in time recorded on video wearing her pink

maggot hat where she opines on womanhood and for a change do you know who's not who she's not talking about no she's

talking only about cis women when she declares, ah, this. I can't wait. Is she subject to Senate confirmation? And really what she taught me was there's two types of women. There are good, solid, valuable women who are major assets to men if you're a good woman, and then there's a warm, wet hole. There you go.

Then again, I can't imagine any women who are anywhere near a maggot man. and are either warm or wet, you know, just to ask little Benny dry wife Shapiro's wife, right? She also has a history of attacking women in the military, and she defended, uh, hmm, uh, judge Roy Moore from claims that he was a pedophile, is a pedophile. She also defended three January 6th insurrectionists and said that more men suffer from domestic abuse than women do. So there's a $25

warm, wet hole Melissa Isaac challenge on the table, courtesy of Raps. If somebody's got 25 bucks to throw in, it'll turn into 50. And we'll be down to 4505-0-5 and only $1,505 away from being halfway funded for the month of April. If we make it to the end of May, I wonder what the deficit's going to look like then. Gracious sakes alive. Thanks for that, Ralphson.

Thank you for the challenge. Oh, that's a good thing to recall, Lee. I'm remembering POTUS provocateur, wanting the magnetometers taken down on January 6, 2021. In that moment, nitwit Niro said, I don't need them. They're not here to hurt me. The goddess of irony. She's always out there.

I'm from Daryl in Houston. Patsies, it's not inconceivable that all alleged assassination attempts on the evil dump were done by manipulated Patsies, just like Oswald, Bray, Sir Hahn, Fromm, etc. Even the one that killed a dump supporter. Every assassination attempt on right-wing slime I'm aware of has been by manipulated patsies or someone certifiably medically insane. Those perpetrated on Democrats or other normal decent people are done by right-wing true believers, insane by typical standards, but not medically. You never hear the right-wing fascist complain about assassinations or about heated political discourse when a Democrats murdered or attacked. A bunch of fucking hypocrites.

as far as manifestos are concerned well Darrell says every alleged assassination attempt immediately produces a plethora of social media posts and manifestos there's never any follow up on them and oh I'm gonna

Victoria I'm definitely gonna that's something that's in the list for this evening can we please quit with this AI stick says Micah. Live look at the White House Correspondents to enter security gate.

That's funny. Guy walks through looking like Jay Guevara. Shotgun, bandoliers, yeah, no problem. And then they stop an old granny and put her up against the wall.

Yeah. But with all the barking and grunting, and God knows there's plenty of barking and grunting going on. Something's being forgotten. And Joy made reference to it.

Sigh, she said. No one was injured. No one died. The shooter was a floor above them. They want to compare their fear to genuine mass shootings while they are the ones largely responsible for empowering this regime

and for never holding those in power to account for gun violence or any anything else. So if they want my sympathy, they're going to have a long wait. They had an entire secret service apparatus protecting them. The kids in Yuvaldi had nothing. Save your tears and stories of terror. So true. I know. I thought the same thing, Leah in New York. How much gauze is he going to take to himself this time? Every school shooter has had a harder time. or an easier time than this guy did. Name a single school shooting.

The children were defenseless, and the list of the dead, written in blood, is nothing of not horrifying. And horrifying doesn't even begin to touch it. Children in preschool, kindergarten, first grade, second grade, third grade, onward, are taught what to do

when a man with a Second Amendment remedy enters the premises and begins trying to murder them. Talk about unresolved trauma. Jesus Christ. Jeremy, thank you. So we are $19.45

away from meeting Ralph's challenge. And we'll see how that goes. Anybody get nine? 1945? Thanks, Jeremy. Alternate, which I read fairly frequently,

publishing via Ryan Rose the following. Both sides decided the correspondence dinner shooting was fake. Within minutes of false flagged conspiracy theory began to spread, users latched on to a quote from White House

Press Secretary Caroline leave it alone made hours earlier in a red carpet interview on Fox News. There will be some shots fired tonight in the room. Was it a figure of speech? Yes. But here's the thing. Why is a mentalist whose whole shtick is, is this your card? Why is that going to be shots fired?

Who's going to be insulted? Who's going to be zinged? Who's going to be called out by a guy who says, was it the four of clubs? And, well, Can you imagine him if the thing had gone forward, reaching over and pulling a quarter from behind the ear of nitwit Nero? Hey, that's my quarter. You give it back. God helped the world if he had reached over and said, I got your nose.

Or said, I've got your nose to knit with an ear. My nose, my nose, where's my nose? Ryan Rose asks the question, has this administration spent years. poisoning the information environment so thoroughly that nobody trusts anything anymore? Also, yes. And then another little moment for us. Namely, well, Jimmy Kimmel did a bit in which he said, since there's not going to be a real comedian at the White House Correspondence Dinner, let's do one here. Our first lady, Melania, is here. Look at, so.

beautiful. Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow. Well, that's awful, right? So, apparently, melanomas, or her husband is not the only one with donkey ears. If you tug melanomas, no, no, now stop that. She does not have a tattoo that says, don't pull on my ears, I'm doing the best I can. No, if you tug on her ears, she brazed just like her husband. Jimmy Kimmel's hateful and violent rhetoric is intended to divide our country. His monologue about my family isn't comedy.

His words are corrosive and deepens the political sickness within America. People like Kimmel shouldn't have opportunity to enter our homes each evening to spread hate. A coward, Kimmel hides behind ABC because he knows the network will keep running to cut running cover to protect him. Enough is enough. It is time for ABC to take a stand. How many times will ABC's leadership

allow enable Kimel's atrocious behavior at the expense of our community? What do you mean our community, melanoma? The vast majority of Americans have never removed all of their clothing and posed naked in sexual come-hither stances in exchange for money for the gratification of total strangers. Which community are you talking about melanoma? And then, of course, well,

Nitwit Nero got in on the act because, well, he had to. He ran over to Tripe Social and posted the following Tripe. Well, Jimmy Timmel, who is in no way funny as a testitude by his terrible television ratings, made a statement on his show that is really shocking. He showed a fake video of the first lady melanoma, and our son Boron like they were actually sitting in his studio listening to him speak

which they weren't and never would be oh my God oh my God oh my God he is he's he's Mike TV at 79 years old with brain cells dying by the second nobody thought that melanoma was really

in the studio but wait fake video of First Lady Melanoma That was real video of melanoma sitting somewhere Because they had They also spliced in video of other maggots and other events He then stated Our first lady melanoma is here

Look at melanoma, so beautiful Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow A day later a lunatic tried entering the ballroom of the White House Correspondence Dinner No, he didn't. He never got anywhere near it. Loaded up with a shotgun, handgun, and many knives. Huh. Still a question about how you can walk around D.C. with a shotgun. He was there for a very obvious and sinister reason.

Well, he wasn't coming after you. He said he was coming after a rapist and a pedophile, and you said you're not a rapist and a pedophile, so you must have been totally safe, right? Oh, see how much fun the public defender can have with this case? Well, you want to bet it never goes to try. He has been charged, by the way, with attempting to assassinate the president. Seems like you'd have to do something assassinating for that statue, statute to apply, but, well, there'll be a plea, and there won't be a day in court, and nitwit Nero won't be called to the stand to answer questions as to

his claim that the man is clearly mentally ill. I appreciate that so many people are incensed by Kimmel's despicable call to violence. Who? The people with the hatred hats? And normally would not be responsive to anything he said, but this is something for it. Again, donkey ears. He's responded to all kinds of things Jimmy Kimmel has said. This is something beyond the pale.

Jimmy Kimmel should be immediately fired by Disney and ABC. Thank you for your attention to this matter, President Donald J. Trump. And again, like someday, some reporter will say, have you no shame, really? And get up and walk out on him. Cole Thomas Allen's being charged with three counts, attempting to assassinate the president, transporting a firearm ammunition with intent to commit a felony.

Okay, great. I mean, ordinarily, you'd have to prove something like that. and discharging a firearm during a crime of violence. He's been assigned court-appointed attorneys. Oh, I'll bet he was. Yeah. Oh, and just as a diversion from all of this, we talked last week about how the onion

is drawing ever closer to owning Info Wars. well Alex Jones has waddled over to X and posted an excrement on the topic the man hired by the onion to take over info wars produced pro-pedophile child torture and murder shows for adult swim in conjunction with Will Ferrell who took part in satanic rituals with spirit-cooking high priestess Marina Abamovich the Satan obsessed Tim Heidecker has openly bragged

that he's set to steal Alex Jones's job and that he plans to steal Alex Jones's identity in order to destroy the Info Wars brand. Alex Jones and his legal team have already filed and are planning to file major legal challenges to this attempted hijacking of Info Wars and his identity by these Democrat-backed deranged lunatics.

Why is Alex Jones referring to himself in the third person? I think that's a fair question. so we get well this and it's a clip from Tim and Eric excellent show yeah and it shows I mean you know that you've seen the program right Victoria showed it to me

it's it's just wacky comedy yeah kick the baby attack the baby it's a clown it's okay Recipes move. Hey, pause. It's all about the pedophiles have been forced to it. Most of them were raped themselves. They're telling you everything.

Let's keep going. You're in the soy boy face. It's more was even popular. And pause. They say clowns or children. He's a child breeder. Continue. Man, rent for the back.

So if you don't stand with us, you literally stand with these people. Shows a mother with a child. He sticks his tongue out. I mean, this is all pedophilic. I'm tempted to believe. that even Alex Jones's creepy little fans know who Tim Heidecker is. And Tim Heidecker, well, he made it clear. Yeah, I think it'll be great fun to take over this page and ruin it with some good anti-Jones comedy.

And by the way, Alex, why do you still have Info Wars? why haven't you paid off the Sandy Hook families yet? You creep? I know. Brilliant. And then, well, there's acting attorney general Todd Blanchie. He's a, well, he got what can only be described as an interesting question over on Face the Nation. Questions about, you know, Cole Allen?

sashaying around DC with a shotgun and a handgun that apparently no one noticed. This is what we got from the guy who's such a brilliant pedig fogger that he got his client hung out to dry on 34 felonies. But here. So the alleged shooter, as we just said, had multiple weapons in his possession. Here in the District of Columbia, open carry is not permitted. You just said he traveled from California across the country by train. At this point, are you thinking at the federal level of changing security protocols in any way to, for example, match on trains what you are expected to go through when you fly, where you do have to declare a weapon when you cross state lines? How did he travel by train without any challenge and arrive here in the nation's capital?

Look, this isn't about, in my mind, changing. the law or making the laws more restrictive around. No, no. This is not the time to be talking about laws and guns and stuff like that. I mean, this was all fake.

We let this happen. We followed the dummy from the very beginning. We were ready for him. We just needed the we just needed the PR because, well, everything daddy touches turns to caca.

and maybe people will care about him a little bit more now, but it's almost like he recently deposited a check from the National Rubell. I mean, no, I mean RUBel Association. Oh, we don't need more laws. How did he travel by train without any challenge and arrive here in the nation's capital? Look, this isn't about, in my mind, changing the law or making the laws more restrictive around possession of firearms. It appears he purchased these firearms, the past. couple years. We don't know how those firearms ended up in his possession in DC. We can make

some assumptions based upon what I just said about how he got to DC, but I don't think the narrative here is about... I mean, are you making assumptions about how he got to DC when you know he was on a train? Was he riding with the hobos back in an empty box car? I don't think so. I mean, Amtrak keeps records of who rides the rails. Yeah? I mean, among other things, the, what do they call it, the Mardi Gras Express, just opened along the Gulf Coast. Amtrak was opening for 80,000 riders this year. They got 100,000 since it opened already.

Different, different topic and everything, but there's a craving. in this country for viable rail travel. There really is. And it's an international embarrassment that Gina has better rail travel than we do. Changing laws or making our laws more restrictive. This is about law enforcement who are doing their jobs and a suspect who tried to...

Why does he sound like a whiny little bitch? Is this how he argued to the jury in New York? Hell, I would have rung his client up too, just based on his presentation. Do something and fail miserably. Well, I'm not talking about changing the law in terms of possession of a firearm. I'm asking about crossing state lines with that firearm and arriving the capital. If you try to fly, you do have to have your firearms declared in some way.

You don't when you get on a train. Well, look, you are talking about, I mean, if we're asking the question, let's talking about changing the laws. And I don't think that's something that we should be focused on right now in any way, shape, or form. Okay, not. Yeah, we don't want to change these laws. We might need another guy to get on another train with another shotgun. If these numbers keep going down the shitter like they are.

There are lots of ways that, yeah, so I mean, look, we don't, and we also don't know, we don't have all the... Is he hungover? He sounds kind of high. Look, like, you know, we don't always know. Answers this morning. We're still looking into what happened, how he got the guns, if he got them legally. but what we do know is that is that oh you're trying to find out if he's that problem child of the nRA the lawful gun owner and how it only takes a the distance the distance it takes to move the trigger to the to engage the firing pin and the next thing you know your lawful gun owners dropped an L and it's an awful gun owner he tried to use them he did have two firearms and some knives on his person when he tried to use them and and he was stopped before he got anywhere near the president,

before he got near any of us that were in the room at the time of... Yeah, he wasn't even on the same floor, was he, Todd. Tide! That this occurred, and that's, again, we can't overlook, and I'm not suggesting you are, but we can't overlook the great work of the Secret Service last night. Yeah, especially when they were tipped off, especially when they knew what,

when it was practically scripted for them. Okay, you let him blow past the magnetometer. Ah, Jesus. They're not even... They're not even trying. Someone on this clip. When bullets fly where old white men gather, suddenly a ballroom is needed,

but when school kids are targeted, silence is golden. Magas are the biggest hypocrites. Easily manipulated. Yeah. And he wasn't on the list. But then again, the question is, why was Trash Patel even in the... room. This is not something that the FBI director normally does. Basically, FBI directors

since Herbert Hoover, with a couple of notable, well, at least one notable exception, you know, the Nixon Attorney General who, ah, went to prison, and I think his replacement who, ah, went to prison, you know, your FBI directors are supposed to be sort of stolid, serious people who don't go swanning around parties, stoic even. But there was Trash Patel. Never one to miss a good party, especially if there's an open bar. I wonder if he's found the shotgun shells with riding on them. Jesus.

If they're calling for ballrooms and not gun control, they're telling you what they value. And it isn't human life. That according to that from John Pavlovitz. and again we're back to Dr. Strange Love we cannot have a ballroom gap oh and where Tim and Eric are concerned Victoria said as someone who is engaged with Tim and Eric and Tim Hideker specifically since junior high school

I would bet my soul's admittance to heaven that they have never or currently been involved in a satanic pedophile ring no they're too they're too busy being wacky and wacky they are which reminds me maybe a little musical interlude here if I can find it

yeah this is a this is a Tim Heidecker piece of music I'll never forget the first time that Victoria played it for me we were coming back from oh North Carolina It's got kind of a Buffett vibe to it.

Washington, D.C. And there's only one place in this whole wide world. It's down underneath the Florida sun. And my wife and son have the taxpayers my press embargo where those folks are allowed and then Sunday comes and my boss tells me we gotta go back And if you're looking for it, you can find it. It's on, I love the cover art.

Oh, my God, I do. I love the cover art. Nitwit Niro, holding a blow dryer to his head. And the name of the album is Too Dumb for Suicide, Tim Heidecker's Trump Songs. I found it on Junk. YouTube and, well, you can too. 2017.

He's had his number for a long time. But capturing that Buffett vibe, oh my gracious, that's wonderful. Oh, and by the way, I need to send out some get-well wishes to our dear friend Theo. Theo had a little bit of surgery earlier today. and he's waiting to be hopefully discharged home because it's much easier to recover from surgery at home than it is in a hospital. So get well soon, Theo, and I'm glad you've got a great support staff around you. We love you. And from Flavio, Faith, our mutual friend Faith, found this on Blue Sky, and I was R-O-F-T-L-M-A-O,

Roppel now. In 2024, Mr. Trump was swept back into office by an angry public who was fed up with not having a ballroom and he will not stop until he delivers for the American people.

No matter where I go, work, the grocery store, even just on the street. I hear one thing from people. We need a ballroom. Yeah. Ralph's, that was Tim Heidecker.

Half of Tim and Eric, Tim Heidecker, who will be, if the onion is successful in taking over Info Wars, Tim Heidecker will be the creative director of it. And Tim Heidecker, whom Alex Jones has claimed, is a

pedophile Satanist. Yeah, you can't make this stuff up. H-E-I-D-E-C-E-R, Tim Hiddecker. Enjoy, Ralphs. And Michael says, Heavens forbid we do the right thing to prevent gun violence. And now comes to talking points of he had a knife or something like that. Maga is eating this up, hook, line, and sinker.

Well, I mean, they are a simple lot. And from Daryl in Houston, Nambi-Pambi-B-Gernalysts, I can't wait until some journalist grows some Godzilla-sized testes and claps back on the grotesque orange dump when he berates them and lies to their face. 60 Minutes correspondent Nora O'Donnell should have immediately told the slimy toilet rat straight to his face that he was corrupt. He was corrupt, a misogynist, a convicted felon, a con artist, an adjudicated sexual deviant, a credibly accused pedophile, and an unmitigated serial liar just to start. Then when he stood up to slap her, kick it in its worthless nuts as hard as possible.

damn the job and the overblown salary to hell I bet she could have immediately put out a GoFundMe page and collected her annual salary many times over probably in a matter of minutes, Darrell Yeah They're a weak lot God Yeah I know it's a big dream isn't it

But then again it's 60 minutes So in a fascist play thing Barry Weiss Isn't going to have any pushing back. The closest you get is Margaret Brennan asking Todd Blanchie. Yeah, but he got on a railroad train.

Should you be able to get on a railroad train with a goddamn shotgun? Todd! I don't think we need to be talking about new laws. Oh, shut up! And from Tom in Sunny San Rafael, sympathy, if they want my sympathy, they'll have to look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. Oh! Well played, Tom.

well played. From Lee in New York. Obligatory Star Trek reference, Mudd's women. A Trump appointed defense attorney for the White House correspondent's dinner gun owner is like Kurt testifying at Harry Mudd's trial. Don't you think you could possibly

by accident arranged to leave me behind here on this planet? That would be punishment enough. I can't do that, Harry, but I will appear as a character witness at your trial if you think that'll help. Yeah. Oh, and thank you.

Thank you very kindly to Henry. Henry jumped in and met Ralph's challenge. So we are now down to gracious sakes. $4,99.99. And 45 cents. Thanks, Jeremy. Love the loose change. You know that.

So we'll keep plugging away. Let's see. We are 1999-45 away from being fully funded for the first half of April. It's been brutal. I'm not kidding. Emilio, I thought RFK Jr. rode the rails. Well, I mean, no, it's more of a bumpy road than a rail road, seeing as how he snorts it off of toilet seats, multiple seats, plural. bumpy road. The bump. Let's see what I did.

Yeah, don't. Don't try this at home. And a little bit of levity for the evening from Kim in New York. Levity is always welcome here, especially on a day like this. Oh, come on. What happened? Oh, here we go. Coyote v. Acme, official trailer, 2026.

Promising. Acme Rocket Space. It's not your fault. There's probably someone to blame. The name of the case is Coyote versus Acme. Wiley Coyote. He is Rappas. We all know who's responsible.

And all of his injuries are self-inflicted. Acme cases for years. I could probably get you $250 to that. This is your opportunity to really show people what you're capable of. These companies think they can do whatever they want. We're sick of it. We really have nothing. We both know it would be very unpleasant if anything bigger were to become public.

This film for account purposes only. We do not condone any of the storylines depicted. Oh, that looks promising. Thank you, Cam. That looks like a really good, like, afternoon mat may. Just another Warner Brothers movie where I didn't get to do, the voice work for Bugs Bunny. Damn it. Thanks, Kim.

RFK Jr., Jeremy says, another moment of bravery. There is video of RFK Jr. and Secret Service agents leaving his wife in the dust after the shots, not even close. She was trailing behind and trying to run in heels. Ironically, the only male who showed slight courage was

Kegbreath, who waited for his wife to move before he did. So he could get behind her. Speaking of which, though, this was fun. Bobby Kennedy III put out a screenshot of the family chat after the incident. One person asks, everyone in D.C. okay?

Bobby the third asked, Pops, you okay? Mrs. Kennedy, Cheryl Hines said, Yes, was crazy. Bobby's security team came in so fast and took us out of the building. They were lifting me over chairs. Bobby then chimes in and says, I'm really hungry. Aw.

Snookums didn't get dinner or any roadkill or nothing. Ah, from Emilio. Lindsay loves ballrooms. He used to stack them until the sun came up. Asked Stephanie Miller. Okay, do. So again, yeah. Uh, hey, um, yeah, we're over the halfway point of the program.

Let's run over to the stress line, see who's there. Hey, welcome to the program. Roxanne, no matter what they say, I am not going to be rolling up on any, uh, security coin carrying knives, guns, and brass knuckle. Just saying. Yeah. And why in the hell do, why does chicken noodle news and other, uh, white wing outfits like that bring up the fact that the guy donated $25 to vote blue.

That's the first thing they do now. You know what that tells me? There are a lot of pissed off Democrats in this world. But it also tells me that the 25 bucks, you two can become a problem child for the right way. Well, hell, at that point, Roxanne, there are many in the Horn family community congregation who are a hell of a lot worse threat to the right wing than this misbegotten asshole. I have no sympathy for the man.

Sure, he wants to take action. You might always want to take action, but you don't because there are laws in this country. and besides do you really want president advance i mean granted his makeup is probably better than donnie's but whose isn't even even your makeup when you were going through your tamysa baker phase was better than that there was no such phase you stopped that yes there was no there was true. When you were, when you were first getting all balled up, you were making some looking mistakes, but, uh, I, no, no, we, we, every girl goes through that awkward phase. It's just that, right. Right. Well, that's what I call the Tammy say. Some of us,

some of us have to make those mistakes in our 50s. Well, that's true. That's true. That's true. or late bloomers, that is true. But the funny thing about that is they asked Henry Fay why she wore so much makeup and she said, oh, because my mama wouldn't let me wear any makeup when I was a teenager. Oh, yeah, because, you know. Evidently her mama was a very strict...

Fundamentalist assemblies of God. Yes, yes. The denim skirt. The denim skirts down to the shoe tops. And of course. And that was considered casual wear. Only. That's not the sort of thing you want to church on Sunday or a Bible study on Wednesday.

I mean, it's only wear. But, you know, when Dolly Parton was asked something similar, Miss Dolly said, it costs a lot to look this cheap. Yeah. I love Dolly. I should look that good in my 80s. Because she's been working hard for decades, Roxanne. Yes.

But, no, I mean, the first thing they bring up is, well, we need a bowl room all our own because of this. Dude, you were doing it. this well before anybody started trying to take pod shots at you. You lied to the public about all

everything in your business life. You lied to at least three wives and God only knows how many hookers. Yeah, don't leave out the hookers. Well, why would I leave out the hookers? After all,

they work harder than he does. Okay. That was quality. I just got a question in. I just got a question in from Michael in Iwoegia. Where was the second first lady? Where was Vance's wife? Did the divorce papers finally come through and she moved out while this took place?

Is mayonnaise eating bat boy's wife going to apologize to liberal man after her husband used her as a human shield like Elon Musk did with his son? Both valid questions. Yeah, the JD-Egg was not sitting there with the Usha. Hey, maybe she had, well, let's see, Katie's knocked up. Caroline, Real Pooh-Poo Leave-It-Alones knocked up. And I think Usha's knocked up, too. But those two went to the party. Usha stayed home.

Well, if you were the JD-Egs, why wouldn't you want to stay away from him as much as possible? without a doubt. I mean, after all, he is what is truly known as a pain in the ass. So if I were her, I'd be wanting to stay away too. I am currently boiling up some beef stock and some frozen hamburgers. I'm thinking about turning it into some meat sauce. That sounds lovely. I had some fun.

I had some fun over the weekend. Oh, you did? Yes. Anything with smoked butts or? Yes, as a matter of fact. Kroger had their... How do you keep them wet? Ha ha ha ha ha

Uh No Kroger had them on sale So I got two ginormous Boston butts For like 20 bucks Yeah And I had a coupon for $30 off my first

My first uh pickup in the parking lot order So basically they wound up being free And yesterday Yeah and so Saturday night I seasoned them and brined them. And then early on Sunday morning,

I built my fire in the acorn, unpaid product placement, but Chargiller, you all did a great job. And they smoked for many hours. And along the way, I had a, I told the brother Deacon about this. I had a little moment of inspiration.

Because, well, back when I found out, that the little Asian market up in Parkersburg carries sashimi-grade tuna, well, I like, I started doing my own sashimi hand-roll, you know, with the seasoned rice, and you form up the little oblong, yeah, and put the tuna on it with the wasabi. Yeah, now, now hold on, though, hold on, though. You get the good rice up there at the grocery in Parkersburg? Yes. Oh, yes, ma'am.

But here's the thing. I got to thinking about that process with the sushi. rice and something just kind of clicked and I thought wait a minute what if you did those little hand rolls but you used pulled pork and the hot slaw and put use the hot slaw for the where the wasabi would be and a little bit of thin vinegory barbecue sauce where the soy sauce would be so I made so I steamed my sushi rice And instead of seasoning it with sweetened rice wine vinegar, which is how one does it, you know, the Japanese style, I seasoned the rice with apple cider vinegar in which I had dissolved dark brown sugar and poured that in and stirred it and stirred it, you know, sushi joint style. And then when the pork butt was done, I made the little hand rolls.

and I put the pulled pork on top of it and a little dollop of the hot slaw and I took it over to a friend of mine who has always said, listen, you want to be creative, I'm your guinea pig. I took him over to him and he peeled back the plastic on the plate

and got the first one and dipped it in the barbecue sauce and it was like an angelic rapture had overcome him as he chewed. as he chewed on that, and I came up with a term for it. I thought it was cute. Sushi Q. Sushi rice with barbecue. Ah.

Yeah, it's not raw. It's cooked. It's smoked. That's not bad. I thought it was a brilliant idea, and I'll be doing it again. Because it's a great way to serve it up. Now, I have a couple of announcements. Yes.

We have looked at it. a house in Jonesboro. It looks good, but since it's a foreclosure, we got to, when we make our offer, we've got to make sure that the real estate agent has some paperwork that she has to do. Once the bank accepts the offer, we're still going to have to wait a month or so

while that paperwork gets done. But if it goes through we will have a three, anomaly three bedroom house. And my friend Jerry is going to draw

up the trust paperwork and everything else. I said, even at that low amount, he said, oh yeah. He said, he told me, you need to put that house in a trust

that way. You can have your instructions in on it, and it keeps people from just hijacking your property. I guess with identity theft being a big thing and title theft being a big thing, yeah, I can see where Jerry's coming from. But, yeah, we could have that house by July, And dad's still concerned by building a house on a piece of property he just bought.

So he said we could get the one house, fix it up, and we'll fix him that up, build the other house. Because he actually wants me in Muncie. I can say that. Muncie would be a lot more convenient. But it's going to take that at least a year to build a house. because he just bought the property at a tax sale. And we've got to get the permits for it and everything else. And you know how that stuff goes.

It takes forever. But I said, well, what do we do with the housing zone? Where he said rent it out. The money goes into the trust. You'll be the beneficiary of the trust. So as long as the trust pays the taxes on everything, you're good. And you won't have anybody telling me you've got to leave because the owner has to sell. That's good.

So it looks like in a few months, we might be moving the plant to Jonesboro, which I got to get a bunch of, I got to get a bunch of water tank. sucks and such to move our break rooms and all that. Yes, absolutely. And, you know, it's like, and of course, young Timothy Squidman, our erstwhile architectural student is putting his hearts into all of it. All three of his hearts, absolutely. And all nine of his brains are working hard.

You'll be glad he made the Dean's List last semester. Oh, nice job, Timothy. We're all very proud of him. Does he get one entry on the Dean's list or nine given he's got nine brains? No, no, it's just one. Just one. One per individual. It was hard enough to get him into architectural school.

they had a firm human-owned policy until he threatened to switch his major from architecture to pre-law. And I thought to myself, that might not be so good because they'd have to work overtime, being as they'd have nine brains to scramble instead of just one. and he'd be a hot mess by the time he actually took the bar, I would figure. You know, so he's still firmly in the architectural school, but there was a, there was a threatened federal lawsuit. concerning that he had the brains for it, he had the grades for it. And he didn't see the fact that him being an octopus had anything to do with it.

They saw the argument for what it was and decided to put it in there, but he actually made the dean for it. So I think he's on safe ground here. but yeah he's had a lot to do lately and he's been pretty busy

I mean he came home for spring break saw everybody down at the shop and of course Gladys sent him home with a batch of her lung racing cookies and some

salmon hot dogs and figuring he might be hungry on the trip. Good planning. I'm very proud of it, Roxanne. In the middle of this move, he's offered to submit some designs for the plant in Jonesboro.

I told him, I said, hold on, we got to secure the property first. Then you can submit a design proposal all that, but there's nothing wrong with that. And we'd be mighty crowd as the fact that you did. So he's taking some time away from his dream job of designing baseball stadiums. And I think he's just doing a great job, Brian. Well, I applaud him for having a dream, and I'm sure he'll make it work.

Oh, I'm sure he will. He's not the young squid we knew who was climbing all over to Goliath 3,000 back in the day. No, he's matured quite a bit, you know. His higher studies have knocks on those rough edges off of him. I think he's a squid we he's quite proud of. you know oh well yes you tell him auntie roxan it's very proud of him to keep up with his studies i i will i will make sure he knows that roxan i'm sure he and i will please him yeah with all with all his hearts and all his brains that's right and um you know i

they just put a few more cephalopods on these programs on on on on these I think we get through not a lot of things. Well, you know, it's interesting you would bring young Timothy up because I was reading a story earlier today, something he can be proud of. It turns out 100 million years ago, octopuses, that is the correct terminology, were here,

and they were, and, uh, Paleontologists have found octopus jawbones. I don't mean to scare young Timothy. But by measuring the jawbones and extrapolating the size of the octopus body. Right. These were some like 90-foot-long octopuses. These were some badasses. Hold on a rock man.

I got to put some more water in there. in the pot. Yeah, I wish I could share the barbecue with you. My goodness, I'm not kidding. It may be the best I ever made. It's beautiful. Gorgeous mahogany color. The smoke penetrate.

When you brine them, the smoke penetrates so much better. And if you put it on it. Give me a second. Yeah, you're fine. If you use a toasted bun, and this is a trick going all the way back to my favorite barbecue joint down in Florence, Alabama. Toast the bun. build the sandwich and then press the sandwich like with a with a skillet you know with an iron press for some reason another it just makes the barbecue flavor even better and I confess I've looked I

haven't got God I can't remember the last time I did any brisket but as long as brisket are $100 out there now that's not going to happen but getting getting to Boston butts for 20 bucks and basically having it free with a coupon. I can party. I can party with that. Yeah. Give me a second price, I'm avoiding a kitchen disaster.

Understood. We're always in favor of not having kitchen disasters. Anyway, my brother's folks come down tomorrow. It helps get me move. Good. Everything is damn ready.

I'm just hoping that I didn't. I hope I didn't burn this. I did. I don't know better any minute. You know that I'm just turning into chewy. Nobody will know the difference. Either way will be delicious. Yeah.

Anyway, disaster of burgers. Good. Did you back to that? Was it about to boil over? No, it's about to boil dry. Oh, that's even worse. Yeah. Yeah, it totally is the thing you put it up.

Look at the beginning with. At the beginning of the program and put it on high, and I had to turn it down. Oh, God, now I feel like me, which is a gallon of a voyager, there, I'm building up your Star Trek reference tank. to keep the brainy off your flat side. Yeah, don't, yeah, don't let that, don't let that get out of hand, Dave. You take care of yourself.

I will. And give our best a little Tammy. I'll send in your congratulations and a plug. I'm sure it'll be, he'll be terrible pain. Talk to you probably after the move, Dan, Ron, fan. Okay, we'll be waiting on you. We'll be waiting on you and rooting for you. You take care of yourself, Dave.

Bye now. All right. Good. Love you all, take care. Love you, bye. Yeah, don't, no, no, no, no, don't let the sauce get dried. No, don't, no. So a question of vital import coming from Reverbo.

So if you were forced to choose only one kind of barbecue, would you go pork or beef? Me, I'll go pork. I agree, me too, absolutely. Ribs, shoulder, yeah. and it's kind of not for the amateurs but even a pork loin porkloins are easy to screw up because they're so little fat and reverbo notes it really is a critical question and then of course there's chicken yeah and i've been known to do three or so beer-canned chickens on the on the acorn brine him and season them and then it makes it

some of the best dagum chicken salad you've ever had in your life with that hickory smoke flavor. Oh, it's fantastic. Okay, listen, I'm going to knock off about a half an hour early this evening, that that doesn't mean we don't have a lot more stuff to go into. With all of this madness, it would not have been, it wouldn't have been right not to go to, you know, the Mount Everest of madness for an explanation hence, well, Alex Jones.

And then right before I went live, I saw a live feed with the press secretary again saying we've won the war. The war is over. That's 30 times they've done that with the Iran thing that I know of. I mean, people go, well, just be pro-Trump. But just go along with total horse crap?

No, I will not do it. So we got a big broadcast lined up for you today. Really big. But I'm very torn on this because you got a bunch of police and Secret Service standing around because everybody was... God damn, that was a Roxanne quality of pregnant pause there. It's already in the gala. And a guy runs past him, but there should have been checkpoints in front of that. He gets a shot off, shoots a Secret Service agent.

First he said body armor stop it now. It slowed it down when the buckshot went through the telephone, but embedded in his thigh. And yet, Democrats all celebrating it and others mad that they didn't kill Trump. You got Obama saying, oh, we don't know the political motivation of this guy, even though he... Who's celebrating it? I mean, it's... You know, they just make it up as they go along. I got another story along those lines.

here in a moment, but the Democrats are celebrating it. Barack Obama says we don't have it. These are all just the shriekings inside the thin gray settlings between his ears that passed for brains. He has a manifesto,

but because I've now learned even more than we've said on air, I'll stop there, that all seven that have been at the trial, Tyler Roberts' family, the parents, the grandparents, all of them, say he's innocent, this is all made up. think he's mind-controlled. Only believe 2% of what you hear.

They're scared, and they just say none of what you're hearing is true. So I don't know if this manifesto came from this guy. I mean, at this point, could be staged. But I mean, what does that mean? How was it? What if it?

Alex, come on, get with the program. It's a lie-hop situation. I'd thank you, if anybody would know that. It staged. What was the plan to make Trump look like a victim? Yeah. You know, why did Trump just keep sitting there, and they grab JD Vance and drag him off, and then Trump just sits there.

And Trump does look anticipatory right before it happens when the magician is trying to show him the card and do all that. He's like, I don't know anymore. I just don't know. I just know this. I am not going to come on air because it's popular and just say something is staged before I know it. Once evidence came out that pointed Charlie Church's murder at Israel, they don't have total proof yet. Yeah, yeah, you did that with Sandy Hook and it cost it. some money you haven't paid yet, Alex.

I'm suspect. All other stuff they're up to. There is a cover-up. Cash until's covering up foreign involvement. That's confirmed. I'm like, okay, just don't expect me day one with no evidence to say that. Though that's really a issue here because

Israel is so villainous now who's running it. That's just a fact, literally running our foreign policy, and killing journalists over there all the time, including American journalists. Go over there, Alex. over there. In Lebanon in places that...

Jesus, he'd shit his pants if he heard a BB gun snap. Israel's going for broke, and you could expect anything out of them. How did Israel make it? Jesus Christ, I mean, they are villains. The article out of the New York Times, Jonathan Swan, was part of it. It basically, yeah, they let Psycho Beebebebe. in to see the big board in the situation room. And he made a presentation with a secure video link of his head Mossad goon there.

And pitched the attack. And none other than CIA director Ratcliffe said, this is insane. But insane is what nitwit. does best. Oh, and speaking of Trash Patel, how is at stage? Well, apparently,

rumors are swirling that Trash is on his way out. A White House insider speaking to Real Clear Politics. Told Susan Crabtree of Real Clear

Politics, that Trash Patel could be shit-canned within days. She wrote, A source familiar with the presidential security protocol, said White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles oversees the Secret Service and has let the director remain in his job, despite numerous failures on his watch. That's director Sean Curran.

They're about to fire cash, and he had nothing to do with this, while Susie oversees the Secret Service, and it's failure after failure, and she gets no blame. Gee, trash. I hope it doesn't hurt too little. So we'd then be at three women, two white guys,

and, uh, well, trash. But apparently these, these, uh, maggots realized what a ginormous fuck-up it was. And at the same time,

well, they, they wanted to use it as a, well, in the, uh, unforgettable words of dim leader back during the reign of air, catapults of propaganda.

And so it was that Carrie Lake, well, we'll just let hard-hitting CNN television journalist Jake Tapper tell the story. Let us discuss now two important aspects of what has happened in the United States since the hurricane. And by the way, more disgusting aspects of this whole thing has been the multi-millionaire for-profit media just obsessing over this and well it was their it was their nerd prom so the place was absolutely just covered up in members of the multi-millionaire for-profit media um so well carpe moment i guess horrific attempted assassination

on President Trump and members. But was it, Jake, was it really? The horrific attempted assassination on President Trump? Really? Was it? How about the attack on the White House Correspondents Association dinner? There's the Trump administration. And let me be clear at the very outset

that the violence is horrific and should be condemned by everyone. I'll get into the responsibility that we all have to help bring down the temperature in a second. But first, let me touch on the news today and what was perhaps inevitable that the Really? The responsibility that we all have to bring down the temperature? Does that mean we can't talk about the Epstein files anymore?

Because a woman, a journalist out in New Mexico, has some rather interesting information. Yeah, she... Where'd it go? I need to find this real quick because it's kind of important. There we are. Yeah. a long-time journalist Elisa Valdez Rodriguez, whose family has been, as she noted in New Mexico,

since 1528, did some digging around in public records. And she found out who built the Zorro Ranch. And she said it was terrifying and made it hard to sleep. Because Zorro Ranch was built by an outfit called, Bradbury Stam Suffice to say they are not home builders. They're a big-time U.S. government contractor.

She said, if you're not from around here, you might not think twice about seeing Bradbury Stam tucked in there between the car phones and greenhouses of Zorro Ranch. But if you are from around here, here being New Mexico, then you might, as I did,

see Bradbury Stam listed as though it were just another low-wage staffer at the ranch, and you'd say, what the ever-loving fuck? Loud enough to wake your dog in the other room. and she's deaf and 15 years old. Because it turns out Bradbury's stam, they do large-scale military, industrial, and government contract construction. They were involved in the Manhattan Project facilities, including the laboratories at Los Alamos, New Mexico, where we built the first atomic bombs.

This, she said, is who Jeffrey Epstein hired to build his ranch house. I know. Weird. And it sits smack dab between the nuclear weapons laboratories, one of which he said, She said, was sold backdoor surveillance software, possibly compromised by Israeli intelligence. And she cited an FBI document in support. She said the choice of Bradbury Stam to build Jeffrey Epstein's haunted house stops seeming entirely odd and starts looking more like exactly the right call. Hmm.

So there's Jeffrey Epstein up to his eyeballs in Mossad, building a haunted house. nightmare ranch that can surveil two U.S. nuclear weapons facilities from its location? Jesus. But anyway, back to Jake Tapper for a second here. The Trump administration would try to use Saturday's horrific act of violence to try to clamp down on criticism and free speech. Today, the president and the first lady, Melania Trump, citing a joke that comedian Jimmy Kimmel made last Thursday in his show, tried to connect that joke with the assassination attempt.

Now, there is zero evidence, zero evidence that the would-be alleged assassin heard the joke. In fact, authorities said the suspect left California for Washington, D.C. by train on Tuesday. So his trip to D.C. started long before Jimmy Kimmel told this joke on Thursday night, airing this pretend correspondence dinner skit. And of course, our First Lady, Melania, is here. Look at, so beautiful. Mrs. Trump, you have a glow like an expectant widow. Earlier today, the First Lady tweeted, quote,

Kimmel's monologue about my family is in comedy. His words are corrosive and deepens the political sickness within America. It is time for ABC to take a stand. How many times of ABC's leadership enable Kimmel's atrocious behavior at the expense of our community, unquote. This in response to a joke she did not like. this afternoon, President Trump followed with the truth social post that said, quote, this is something far beyond the pale.

Jimmy Kimmel should be immediately fired by Disney and ABC, unquote, there was more. But let us just take this moment and say, is it fair to judge? And still, Donkey Years hasn't figured out that he's triggering the stricand effect and the band in Boston effect. So keep on doing it, dipshits. It's Jimmy Kimmel's joke in light of what happened at the dinner, two nights later. White House press secretary Caroline Levitt said Saturday, shortly before the shooting, that President Trump's speech would be funny and there would be, quote, shots fired, unquote,

which of course, when not taken literally, refers to humorous insults. Does anyone out there think that Caroline Levitt had any idea what would happen? I don't. Does anyone out there think that Jimmy Kimmel had any idea what happened? What would happen? I don't. Now, do I think both, in retrospect, would choose their words differently in retrospect, given what happened on Saturday night, of course. But this crusade against Kimmel was predictable because the Trump administration's attempt to use Saturday shooting as justification

to stop all critical coverage, whether journalistic or comedic. Jesus, Jake, get to the good part. Donald Trump. That started even before the ballroom emptied because Carrie Lake, the election deniers currently in charge of Voice of America, she approached a CNN table after the shooting

and blamed journalists for the attempted attack and personally insulted one of our correspondents as a, quote, midget. She then went outside and trailed me for about a block. I was trying to ignore her. She was saying that I was responsible for what happened, CNN's responsible for what happened, and that unhinged rant by someone who, frankly, obviously, needs help, is now being matched with social media posts

and more from the White House trying to use this horrific tragedy to demonize any criticism as calls for violence. And the president has been making literal calls for violence since 2015. I'm not even going to go into them. You're familiar with them, but literal calls for violence. Now, a reminder that the president's tone immediately after the attack on Saturday was praised by Democrats and Republicans, and it was far more conciliatory. I ask that all Americans recommit with their hearts and resolving our difference peacefully.

We have to resolve our differences. That sentiment clearly did not last long. And let us turn now to this deranged, alleged. Yeah, that's, okay, so Carrie Lake chased you down and screamed at you. You poor baby, do you need a safe space, Jake? Were you surprised that a crazy lady said crazy things to you? These people. Oh, but then there's Wolf Blitzer

who went on at length about how it was a very scary scene. Oh, all of a sudden, I started hearing gunshots in the hall right near me. I was returning to my seat after using the restroom and shooting broke out before the dinner got underway. Oh, no, not before the dinner. The next thing I knew, a police officer threw me to the ground and was on top of me.

I don't think that's, I mean, Wolf Blitzer, really? That probably happens to him three or four times a day. Just, hey, wolf, pick him up and throw him to the ground. I mean, come on. He's Wolf Blitzer. He's a dweeb. And then, as Jeremy mentioned earlier, there's video of whalehead, dead bear, Voschbear, brainworm, Lamprey, Jr., abandoning Cheryl Hines.

in the chaos of Saturday night. You'll recall, Bobby said, I'm hungry. Of course he was. He hadn't had a raccoon penis snack all day, probably. Notice there's no screaming. Oh, yeah, and also the video includes mayonnaise mouth, hairless Heydrick, Stephen Miller,

literally ducking behind his pregnant wife, who they push ahead, like the human shield, was being used as, as he fled the room. Cheryl Hines gets left to just sort of aimlessly follow behind the security staff taking care of Bobby. Catch him. If you catch him, can I eat him? I'd like you eat in. I really would.

I'd like you eat in. And there's Whiskey Pete, not the least concern. credit where it's due, at least Whiskey Pete waits for his wife. Really? Let's go to the side. Let's not go up the middle. Really? That must be the Fox table. You reckon? And then just to wrap things up, again, we go over to that rattletrap blog run by the man who looks like rancid hot dog water smells. Stevie 3 shirts hosted Patty Lyman.

Who knew? She's the RNC National Committee woman. And she went on Stevie 3 shirts, greasy little program to call for prayer. Patty Lyman, you said, but for what? Said you thought we gave as good as we got is what's the process? They take a couple of days to do this. They get back to us tonight. What is your, I don't want you, I'm not going to put you in the spot of which way it's going to go because it is a legal argument. I know you're a constitutional

lawyer, but we don't know how these judges are going to go. They've got to get, I guess, reappointed by Democrats so that people can take that for what it's worth. But just what's the process from here on in. Well, the process, Steve, you have to understand that this injunction, the arguments that we're making were made a couple of months ago. And the court shows they said they couldn't rule on the merits until after the election. So that's where we are now. They've had our arguments for quite some time. We filed briefs last week. And then today we had the oral arguments.

These are judges who are very sharp and very, very well briefed on the issues here. They know what they're talking about. So I think they will go to work right away. For all I know, they may be meeting now to decide, you know, how they're going to vote and then how they're going to write the opinions. I don't know how the internals of the court were. I do know that the certification of the election is supposed to be done by May 1st. That has been stayed by this latest injunction. The Powers that B have said that if they don't have a decision from the court by May 12th,

it's probably not going to be possible to change things prior to an August primary. I believe that the court, I wouldn't be surprised if they gave a ruling this week so we can move forward on this. And again, there are reasons why there are so many exacting rules for doing a constitutional amendment in Virginia, because believe me, if we had to go through and do an amendment to overturn this, we would have to follow every single rule. It's a massive process. And that's why every rule has to be followed for this,

because a constitutional amendment can change the law for generation. It's not like a statute, a statute. Now you can tell it. She's thinking, that poor statue of Bobby Lee? They will move on it. They'll move on it quickly. We are ready to move forward, and I'm very grateful again to the RMC. They continue to cover our legal expenses on this case with top-notch legal help,

and they couldn't have been more helpful. Chairman Joe Gruders was on the call with us last night in Virginia. They're all rooting for us. I'm personally asking, as a fellow member of the posse, I'm asking the entire posse to pray that God will give us favor with these Supreme Court justices and that we can carry out the will of the people that they've trusted us with. Again, our 250th anniversary slogan in Virginia, Steve, is America, made in Virginia. And we're going to continue to do it right.

Yeah, so now, America. at Maiden Virginia, the way it was supposed to be. And we're not going to stop until we stopped all that voting that's going on by, you know, those people. Mercy.

And from Kim in New York. Well, of course. Boy, I was really impressed with Tapper and his analysis about this event being used to stifle criticism. Then he hits us with CNN being berated and Carrie Lake following him. I should have known better.

The fury expressed by Tapper was one of outrage that he and CNN had been targets of derision. It's all about them. And wow, that sure was a quiet exit made by the White House Correspondents Association. By the way, apparently the USA Chance were started by Dan Skavino. Well, thanks for that. Like I said, I thought it was the Fox table. I know. They're just so disappointing, aren't they, Kim?

They're just always, always, always disappointing. So that's the program this evening. Thanks, everybody. I miscalculated earlier. The deficit is actually $4499.45, $4,499. $45. Oh, come on, Roxanne. And so that means we are basically $1,500 away from being halfway funded for the month of April,

means we basically funded one week. And that's because March was so God-persaken brutal. Oh, a little happy update on the way out the door. I was at the Wiggling Pig yesterday. We needed a couple more ingredients for the barbecue sauce. Oh, excuse me. And I noticed that they had some fresh-cut watermelon. It's the seedless kind, and it really doesn't have the flavor

that the old school seeded watermelon has, but whatever. And I've been seeing online that doggies like watermelon, and it's okay for them. It won't hurt them. So I thought, okay, I'll get the golden one, a hunk of watermelon. We'll see how that goes. I got it home, and he came running to me, and I said, yes, Auntie always brings a treat. And he sat down like the good fellow he is.

And I cut out a little cube of watermelon for him, and I handed it to him. And he went, and then he went, phe, pia, and spat it out on the floor. I was like, wait, you're kidding. You're the only golden retriever on earth that hates watermelon and bananas? Okay. But I didn't give up. So I cut a piece of watermelon off for me, and I munched on and made numbing noises. Oh, that's so good.

Yum, yum, yum. And he was looking at me, and it's like, you're eating it? You don't eat my other treats. So I broke off a piece of the watermelon and handed it to him. And all of a sudden, he's like, oh, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, no, no, no. Swallow. Expectant look.

More, please. He's so precious. Yeah. But, well, he makes, makes me awfully happy and I like to share that with y'all because he's such a, oh, he's the best doggy I've ever known. But thanks everybody. Thanks to each and every one of you who share your precious finite time engaging in the program in whatever manner you choose.

Thanks to our challenge makers. Thank you, Ralphs. Our challenge respondents. Thank you. Thank you, Henry. Thank you. Jeremy. And thank you to our a la carte contributors.

Thanks again to Jeff Inslow over the weekend, doing a have a show on me. Thank you so much. Thank you again to our anonymous friend. And thank you to Charlie over at APS Radio News. Thank you all. Thanks to our Patreon and PayPal subscribers. Hey, listen, let me ask you a quick question.

and a member of the community has told me that I really, really, really, really, really need to create a $100 tier on Patreon. If that would make a difference to you, let me know. So, you know, I'm just sort of polling the community there. Thanks to our Venmo and cash app contributors. Oh, the challenge was met, Ralph's Henry met that. the warm, wet, hold challenge? Yeah, Henry met that. Thank you.

Thank you, Ralph. Thank you to, like I said, Venmo, cash app contributors, U.S. Postal Service. Thank you all. Thanks to our all volunteer staff. Thank you to Roger and Jeremy in the old holler tree. Thanks to Micah for the showpost. Thanks to our news ninjas. Thank you, Brother Deacon Asa.

head-on. Live, who crafts the interactive AI model that is this voice that you know it isn't. Stop it. But thanks, thanks Brother Deacon, Aza, keeping the packets passing and the stream streaming. Thank you so much. The brother deacon does enjoy it when he sees, you know, remarks, reviews, comments on the podcast. And if you guys start talking to each other on the podcast episodes, that's awesome. Thanks to those of you who already do. Thank you so much.

Please. Oh, and thanks, Emily, for the intro. Thanks to the hardest-working, bravest people I know, the folks at Cole River Mountain Watch, C.R.MW. Dot net. Over a quarter century, it's the forefront of the struggle for human rights and environmental justice in Appalachia and a proud union shop.

Please stay safe in all its forms. Just watch out. You never know when Carrie Lake is going to chase you down. and well if Carrie Lake chases you down screaming oh this is the media's fault yeah she used to be a TV news anchor herself

I'll avoid her like the plague because she is and always always Wayne and Gina it's all for you talk to you a little bit Victoria later