Hello From The Magic Tavern - 24 - The Plan

Episode Date: August 12, 2015

Ever since Usidore said The Dark Lord's name, things have been getting a little too real. We're still cleaning Soul Walker off of the Vermilion Minotaur's floor. We need a plan to deal with all of this stuff. We also need Spintax the Green. He's my guest this week.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungSpintax: Charlie McCrackinBungaree Chubbins: Tom GottliebMysterious Man: Tim SniffenTricia: Kate JamesProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanSpecial Episode Art: Dave InnisYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. The following podcast is not real, but it is really sponsored by large management group.

Wings and beer almost as good as podcasts. That's why Chicago Summer Wing Fest wants to give listeners a free t-shirt when they buy tickets with the offer code podcast. Available atFest.net. Hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun. Things are kind of serious, so I'm going to barrel through this as quickly as possible. If you haven't heard the podcast before, a while back I fell through a magical portal behind a burger king into the magical land of fun.

Luckily I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the burger king, so I used that to upload a weekly podcast from the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, and Thaum Hogs face in the land of fune, which is in deep shit. Like, I'm really, I used to make fun of use the doors quest against the Dark Lord. How you ruined those days. But now things are getting kind of serious. Like, there's still soul walker corpse shit all over this place. It's terrifying. Yeah, we saw 13 bodies fly out of one dead person Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for listeners. I should introduce my co-host Chant the talking badger. Hello and use I am used to know a wizard of the twelfth realm of a fesiest master of light and shadow Manipulator of magical lights

Champion of the great hallss of Tarrakis! The Oves Nomeos Fee Alliance. Helic. The Dwarves Nomeos Zonen, Huk Stenges, and I am known in the North East as Gaston-Wraithiest Mastar. And there may be other secret names you do know, eh the other people. I think you're the first flustered, because we're also joined by-

Yeah. I am Spin Tax the Green! Wizard of the Third Ninth and Twelve Throne of Ephesius. Wilder of Arcane Forces, compelling the living and the dead, diviner of unknown truth, Master of Illusions, Destroyer of Lies,

Dissolver of the Wall of Fire, In Bible of Nine Deadly Poisons, Author of the Pandanomicon, And winner of the wall of fire, in biber of nine deadly poisons, author of the Pandanomicon, and winner of the Wizards Tracer Ward. The dwarves Nomi is nickel-backed silver chair, the angels Nomi is Mamakasayel, the vampires Nomi is camera nor lendo, in the south I am known as Lodestone Greatcraft, and many other names you will never hear from my lips. Spindex, thank you for joining us.

It was just a really scary traumatizing thing. This air is a foul! With dark magic! The Dark Lord sent a soul walker? Is that what it was called? Yes, a soul walker came here. Not with seven souls, but the... How do you three still live?

I put a rock in its pocket. Ah, and indexed out that. It had a rock in its pocket. I just kind of like wedded my thumb and like erased a rune on its forehead. Ah, yes. Quite clever. It told us in a moment. Fascinating.

It's almost as if it were preordained that you three should survive. Well, yes of course we should play a preordained. Ah duty. Is it a feat that our lord, we shall complete this quest. Great glory for ourselves for hogs facing all the food. And we shall do it without the likes of you. But I've come here to lend my magic. Oh, thank goodness.

Add my power to yours. That's great. What's relief? So we don't really have any kind of plan. We're just like, let's bring in spin-tax. Yeah, this one we're gonna do. They'll know what to do. Just like, young stain, like, let's grab spin-tax a little today.

Yeah. A plan from me. You know, I'm not sure if I want to share my plan. But you have one. Well, I'm slightly offended. I'm used to door apologizes to do apologize to Spentax. Spindax? Apologize?

And I also want to say that I was very impressed with where you dissolved the wolf. Thank you very much. Most of the trick was figuring out that the fire needed to be dissolved and not distinguished. Yes, yes, that was... Not naturally the thought. No, no, no one thinks that. It's lateral thinking. Yes, very impressive. As much as I appreciate your apology, Yusudor,

that is not why I'm offended. No way! I heard rumors being spread of me. You did? Was it that your gay? No! That's... It's usually the first rumor.

But it is quite sexual. I heard the speak come from this very tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, that I was involved with a bisected dwarf. Oh yeah, I did. That's my bad news. I said this meant tax like bisexuals. There's nothing wrong with that. Listen, I've got nothing wrong with bisected people, bisectuals, whatever. Do what they want. I was involved with a woman. I did not know. She was bisectual. At first. You couldn't tell just by looking at her.

No, when I met her, she was lying on a mirror. That makes a lot of sense. Yes, she's bisected vertically. Yes, I see now. Yes. She thought it was a head and shoulders on both ends. No, she was bisecting vertically. Yes, I see now. Yes. She thought it was a head and shoulders on both ends. No, she was no. I sang it vertically.

No, no, no. I'm lying on the her bisected side upon a mirror. Oh, how? And then you looked upon her and you're like, my goodness, you're the most beautiful one I've ever seen for you. Perfectly symmetrical. Yes, I lie down next to her.

And I notice she was somewhat lower than me. Right, right. But I didn't think anything of it. I pledged my love. It was quite embarrassing. And did you think that there was like someone that looked just like you underneath you? I'm not quite so concerned with myself. I was gazing at the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. The most perfectly symmetrical woman you'd ever seen! How long were you able to carry on this relationship without knowing that she was just lying on a mirror?

Until things became physical. Six, seven years. Something like that. All right, that's not... I rushed do it a little bit faster than you do You do look as someone who recently was Due to a crazy mech set you fucked a memory My word it was it was an accident and but you know what these things happen. Let me ask you a question, honey. I was sex with a memory Grimlin, I mean it was we didn't even think to ask that it was nice

It was exactly like having sex with my wife and so it was great I mean it was something and surf-feel listening. I'm sure already was very sorry. I am I am I feel I do feel guilty about it Seraphil he did just say that sex with you is like sex with a memory Grimlin He said there's no difference. He says it's just the same. That is, I mean, that's literally intrinsically what a memory Grimland does, right? It, at least lie and say it wasn't. It, it was.

He noticed something was off, I believe. He told me that the other day, Sarah, wink. Oh, sure. I'm winking at you. Yes. No, wait, no, that makes it worse. if I thought something was off and I went through look Do not help me do not do not do not he was making loud to any thought this seems not entirely pleasant Even though he thought it was you

You know helping I think I have lucky sex with a bisexual is terrible. It's really easy. I have no whole question. It's like rubbing yourself against an open-faced ham sandwich. Can I get a ham sandwich please? Open-face. I would apologize for my part in any pain with the rumor. I'll forgive you, chant. Thank you, smut. Oh, yeah. Everything's forgiven.

Now onto the planet at a feet-thin' crocheting void and the power of the Dark Lord. I know. We have so many things to stop now. The void, the Dark Lord. I guess... Just two. That's true. Still, that's a lot.

They have combined. Oh, they have. The Dark Lord has begun to channel the power of the void No, he's moving it in his own directions weaponizing the encroaching darkness So I'm sorry spin-tax, could you remind me what's the deal with the void? Certainly in brief or the entire story. No in brief. There's a little girl named Pinley Penelope. What all that story? Yes, or just the the fact that there's a little girl named Penley Penelope. What all that story? Yes. Or just the fact that there's a wave of nothingness

traveling over food, enveloping everything, disincorporating, dismembering, and dissolving all things that it touches. And we have to make the girl believe in us in order to stop the inquiry. Yeah, that's where you think. Is there a third thing? A third thing that we're fighting?

I was supposed to be worried about a third thing. I'm trying to think of there's a third thing. Give me a minute. It might be a third. So we have the Dark Lord, the Void. Who's there? Oh, thank you. Oh, can I have an open face, Ham Samus?

I don't need to play. I'm just going to fuck it. No. I know of a third danger. Oh, no. What's a third danger? Water's up. The three of you? Like is this just a slam or no not at all? I was pausing for mystery. Oh, yes

I have traveled to many other realms I'm in a travel between dimensions freely, but I may travel to alternate dimensions Mirror realms, slightly different from our own, from the safety of my multi- as it did gemstone. Isn't it ironic that you visit mirror realms? Because of that girl. Yes. I traveled into the realm, defined the reflection that I fell in love with. I cast aside the bisected dwarf, looking to find a reality in which her whole self existed. Uh-huh.

I did not find that woman. I'm sorry, that's very sad. But I found other worlds. Other worlds with Arnees, other worlds with Usadors, other worlds with Chunks, the Badgers. Really? Yes. Yes. And so in these like mirror worlds do we have like goatees and eye patches?

Not all of you, but some of us there's one go T Two eye patches between the three of you. Oh, I don't think I would shave down to a goatee I've been thinking you'd have a eye patch. I have one right here on a pouch Just just a case. Yes. Hmm. Do you want it? No? Go probably need it. So I'm sorry. Spin-tax, there's a danger from us. Yes. In this altered reality, the three of you are servants of the Dark Lord.

You are his three most powerful emissaries. Ah, fear not, then, Spin-tax. But just this past week, we did cast off the temptations of the Dark Lord. They were laid at our very feet. I have our time believing we're all really be all that useful to the Dark Lord, to be honest. I would be very useful. Ah, you are altered versions of yourself. You of course, Arnie, have adopted your name, Carnival Wilson.

Oh, yeah. You've become a grand, a trickster god, a fun. Yeah, that does make sense. Yes, you're making people pull your fingers and all Yeah, as you rip your own thumb apart in front of them. How did that work again? Look, he just pulled my finger Kind of a Wilson I always shoot his pants Come on

I was Standing up to get a Table that's a trick On earth that's a trick is somebody both your finger and you shit your fans No, this is the worst thing as I should stand up for use on all those like tricks to God and what would he use Chuck to do? Chuck chant head for second that name he went by Windigo Wilson who in this reality, John and Arnie are married. Oh, fine, I gotta go change my pants.

So, John, you'd had sex with a Windigo. It's like a, it's like a monster. A human cannibal. A human cannibal? Turned into a beast. Oh, my own desires. Right.

Yes. And you forsake sexual pleasure. All you cared for was more raw human meat So you were stuck in that form, but I'm married you so that they wouldn't kill you how many but also I have just one But it was enormous. Yes, that sounds amazing And of course I is a blue wizard was already a tremendous asset. But you'd given up your wizardry powers? I won. Yes.

And became a Dark Souser. I barely escaped that world by the skin of my teeth. Oh, sounds terrible. I had to take the skin off of all of my teeth to travel back. That's a smart move to put a little extra skin on your teeth just in case you need it a little later. Absolutely. I was being prepared. Have you ever killed a soul walker before? No, I don't like to brag

Yes, yes you do. Yes. Oh, you like to it. Yes. I don't like to brag right away. You said oh right now right away I had to I had to banish three separate demons to find the secret To killing a soul walker What happened to the demon you had lost? Don't worry about it. Is there a demon here? No, I know, not today. There was a... It's in my pocket fine here. Oh.

I was keeping him just in case. The soul walker made it last week. It's just a little wide. I thought, what the hell, let me... Yeah, I'm the killer! Oh. Just turned into a ball of white flame. That'll last for two weeks! Oh, oh! that's nice. Put it on your basement steps. God. What's that smell?

I just finished changing it. It's your own shit probably. Oh, and also we said a demon on fire This burned my The tiny demon from last week. Oh, yeah Remember that a soul walk of me what's that remember the soul walk of me? I don't I don't know what you're saying. I remember the soul walk of me. What are you all ready? Did you have a stroke? No, I didn't have this look okay, so spin-tax and now we have on these in this wizard state I just need to be near the harvests and try to keep them back. I want them to be on the back of my neck. And I can go back to the harvests and follow me.

I don't want them to be on the back of the harvests. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that. Spin that Lord yes we gotta just start knocking these threats out. Is there one that we should tackle first? Listen He may be just sleeping Yeah, seems more serene I know there's a feather like floating above his mouth and his leg is twitching, but he's chasing rabbits What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? I'm gonna get Spin-Taxe Rainbow Bowl, I'm gonna get myself a Rainbow Bowl, used to know what do you want. 11 Mead. A Mead and a Chent. I'm meat with a little Respirin. All right, well, so I'm gonna get all those drinks. It's all on me and as a way of buttering up Spin-Tax, and we're gonna come back and we'll figure out

what Spin-Taxe's plan is. Hello, I'm Bungry Chubbunch. Do you like your job? Well, it doesn't matter. You have to do it. Just like I have to sell chamber parts to the people of Hogs face it. Chabbins, chamber parts and so forth. Oh no, I'm not stuck doing this work. As a result of any spell or magical curse,

not just by the accumulation of my life choices. So, um, Chobbins, Chamber parts and so forth, you need to use them. I need to sell them. Please, please stop by. Alright, here's your rainbow bowl, here's your meat, here's your meat with raspberry, and here's my rainbow bowl. Thank you. Thank you. Between the four of us, we could come up with a plan to stop the Dark Lord.

Let's just spitball, let's just brainstorm, let's just know there's no bad ideas. Let's figure out what we have. We know how to defeat the encroaching boy. Somebody has to go to earth. I'll go to earth. I've been saying it again and again. I will go to earth. I'll be reunited with my wife, sorry, with my wife and my child and then after you know a certain amount of time. I'll find this Penelope of a person and I'll... I have a surprise for you. What is that?

I have been working on a way to get you back to Earth. I've not figured out how to do it. I am devoting large portion of my mental energy towards getting you back home. So your surprise is that you've just been thinking about that's correct Thanks, you're welcome. I offered away for you to return home once before not killing all those kids You all blanched at the idea of rendering the fat from six children. Yeah, yes But what if I told you that I already had the fat of six children

Already made oh and ready to go no children. Oh, it's fintechs. I already made it. Oh, and ready to go. No choices. Made my use. It's already done. What if I told you that? It is kind of like not being a vegetarian. You're just sort of like, I was already happy and these animals were already killed.

I mean, the only plan I had was I got on your computer and I found something called the megabus and I thought that might help The megabus? Yeah, that's not helpful Well, I looked as far as like I typed in how to get someone home and it's a megabus That sounds like some sort of grimoire Oh, yes, what's a grimoire? A book of spells. Oh, yes. Do you have any new spells you've been working on or anything that you can?

Oh, yes, do you have any new spells who they're working on or anything that you can Spells for me. Yes, I have I have recently been concucting a spell to give me the voice of a dragon That I may speak in commune with the dragon lords. Oh, wonderful. Would you mind giving us a demonstration? Certainly Certainly. He's a red leather yellow leather? Whoa. Who comes to my head? How is he?

I am red, Leroy. Red, rare, rare? Leroy, Leroy. Oh, Larry. Larry. Yes. It's incredible. Red Red railroad Incredible Amazing thank you. That was wonderful. Coolest thing I've ever seen But terror lacks of your listening soon. We shall commune with the dragon. Oh, that's right for terror lacks the dragon on earth It sent us an email a long time ago in the Pacific Northwest. Yes. There is a dragon on earth that sent us an email a long time ago. And the Pacific Northwest, yes. Yes. There is a dragon on earth?

That's correct. Or someone on earth saying there are dragons started a Twitter account and kind of stopped. But earth is a mundane rental, if a magical creature exists on earth. That may be the key. Really? To making pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-pen-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-penny-pen again. I should do whatever I wish. So someone could show this dragon to this girl and convince her that there's magic and the void would be defeated.

Well also the powering the dark lord robbing him of one of his newest weapons. Right. All right. So I'll go to earth. I'll find this penelope. Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. Penelope. Penelope. I should write that down. I'll tweet at this Vaterilax, try to figure out where he is. You know, show the girl the dragon and everything's solved. And I'm home. It's best for everybody. What if Vaterilax is a dragon? If it's just some dude that's sent up a fake Twitter account?

That's what you do. That's a very, very popular thing. Do that? Yeah. You can lie on Twitter. You can lie? You can lie on Twitter. Why? I'm speaking to a bunch of liars I mean probably yeah

So spin-tax so I'm not a big fan of the fact that you have rendered fat from six dead children hypothetically hypothetically But if you do have it already and we don't have to kill children which I'm against What would we have to do next to send me to back to Earth? We need to find the place at which you first came through into Foon. Okay, that's great. It's like right behind the tavern.

Wonderful. Within we will take the rendered children's fat, rub it on our hands, and work that whole stretching it stretching it stretching it with the fat until it's large enough to send someone through Okay, uh, this is sounds I'm a word. No, I'll try it. Yeah We really sending the largest person through the whole is that I'm that much larger a whole can stretch quite a bit with enough rendered children's Fat true But what my other point was if this dragon is not real He said Arnold and the normal goes look there's magic and he's just a tall man. Is will that be convincing enough?

I would be willing to go to And prove that there's magic. I would give this girl rocks. I would I would give this girl rocks. I would put magical light into the room and use all my great wizard prowess to prove her that magic exists. Look, first of all, we all agree that Yusudor would just mess it up, right? Sure. So we should not send Yusudor. And I mean, I would just sit around and eat sneakers all day so don't send me. Yeah, so clearly, spin-tax, right? right we should send me I understand what about sending spin tax Setting spin tax me yeah, he already has the rendered fat. Oh, yes, and he does have magical abilities in my journey

I suppose we could send spin tax to another realm I you'd never have to see if you if we're being honest. He has the most power out of all of those and if the three of you stay You can disguise yourselves as your mirror selves with eye patches and go-tees. Get close to the dark, Lord, inside the dark city, and destroy him. I already have a knife hatch. I mean, I don't have a razor here, but I could make a go-tee for myself. We can shave you here. We have the builds to shave. Or wait, or was it, I'm sorry I was assuming,, Chant wasn't the one with the goatee, right? Like, just shaved his badger. I probably have her.

And versus I saw that picture of the guy from Smash Mouth, I want to go, I want like a little just the tiny house. Don't try to be, don't try to smash him out through cells. It's like a tiny, I have to be honest, I don't understand this. Arnie has a goatee, use the door, has two eye patches. Ah, yes, and chunt is a wild beast Oh, indeed. Oh, that's right. Oh, and we're married. Yep, so with this subterfuge and Spintax journey into the realm of earth Good defeat the dark Lord and the approaching What is it darkness darkness now nothing we should broaching void boy

That's what was boy we should write this stuff down. There's a lot to keep track of there is a lot to keep I'm sure people listening on the podcast are following it all a hundred percent I'll use it or fell asleep I think this is a good time for me to take my leave All right pill use a, when he awakes, a simple message for me. Goodbye from me, spin text. Tell him, Usador, you may be Wizard of the 12th Realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights manipulator of magical delights,

devourer of chaos, champion of the Great Halls of Tarakas. The elves may know you as Vianjolak and the dwarves may know you as Zonen Hungstangies, and you may be known in the Northeast as Guest Buenos Wastar, but to me, you will always be known as Friend. I bet that'll mean a lot to him. Got that?

Yeah, that'll mean a lot to him. Here, let's move the microphones over back by this window where I think this'll be the closest part to where the portal is. Is this it here? Yeah. Is this it? Yeah, this is, I've been, oh, I'm really

blue about my hand. Well, here you go, someone. Every Sunday, I've been putting little messages here because it's pretty tiny. I can just fit a little piece of paper through into the parking lot of the burger cake. And what sort of missus have you sent through? I'll just not work with finger in here first.

No, okay. I'm not, if it's all right, I'm not gonna look at what you're doing. I'm gonna get a hand in here too. Yeah. There you go, good. Hold on. All right.

I wish you were me by watching that happen. I'm glad it's not. Alright. I have to get my forearm in here. Spin-tax. While you're on Earth, I'm your way to finding Penelope, uh, uh, uh, uh, say hello to my wife. Tell her I'm alright. Alright, with what?

I'm doing that I'm alive, and that I'm trying to find a way to get back to her. And then I miss her her and I love her. And Spindax, if you could do me a favor. Yes. If you could please tell Arnie's wife, he fucked a memory, Grimlin. That would be... What was going on?

Did we do it? Goodbye, Yusidor. Goodbye, Spindax. Goodbye! You assass. Oh, he's barely squeezing through there. He's quite a struggle. Yeah, give him a good kick.

Give him a couple kicks. It looks like he's being reversed boring. Oh, chicken fries, huh, bag? Wow, that's kind of a lot to process. So it's been taxes on Earth. now, hopefully he can complete his quest. Oh, I'm so glad that we were able to take this step forward and our journey together for you to have now officially join the quest to defeat the Dark Lord. Yes, whatever I can do here via this podcast to defeat the Dark Lord. Oh also, oh shit Spin-tax had something he wanted

He left your message something about Said he said you said or blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah He said way star for one of your names instead of may star. I can't remember. Sorry. Sorry. And then he was like Do you do you tell him for me you can lick my lower but oh? Good Do you have emails? No, yeah, I did actually you know this would have been a great email for spin-tax To answer but anyway, I got an email to Magic tavern at puppiessupplies, which is really email, I was able to get, uh, hey Yusador, I was curious about the difference. Why would it be great for a Spintax if it's addressed to me?

I just, it's a wizard related, I felt like Spintax would be able to answer this. Hey Yusador, I was curious about the different colors of wizards in the land of Foon. I know you are a blue wizard and Spintax is a green wizard, so I was wondering if the colors represent anything like your level of power or skill. If so, I was wondering what is the ranking of the different colors, what the different colors were from most to least powerful. Also, are there any more blue wizards or are you the only one, Charlie McQuarrie from Michigan? Well, there's only one of each color of wizardry given to him. I should I be destroyed, or sent back into the realms of Ephesians, that another blue wizard may take my place, or may not, depending if one is required at the time.

And there is no ranking of the colors. It is not a system such as that. The colors coincide with the source of our power. Blue wizards are all wizards of light and shadow. Whereas on green wizards are all wizards of truth and lies. All yellow wizards are masters of space and time. Those aren't opposites, but they did it anyway. And then of course white wizards, masters of life and death. What type is can the wizard?

Yellow? Yellow. Space and time. Yes. Interesting. How about you, Chant? Did you get any help? Yeah, I got one here.

This is from Ash. It says, Hi Chant. As a son of a hunger ghost, you must know a lot about funish cuisine. What other delicious foods are there in your land besides Spice Potatoes? You guys are great even the wizard. I don't know this. What's it about? We're Chatt.

Cheers from Earth. From Ash, PS, I drew a picture of what I think you guys look like based on your voices. Hope I was at least somewhat close. Maybe you can hang it on your refrigerator if you like. And she attached a, he or she attached a picture here. Oh yeah, it's kind of like a eight-bit pixel art. So other FUNISH cuisine. I mean you have there's burnt lizard tips

Fang pie Fried pubes if you read right could you give us the recipe for fried pubes? Don't you have a recipe for yes, of course Take Youngest right the youngest arrogant you've got the warm oil and Well, it's been a great this week. Thanks for tuning in. Pretty judgment on from someone who shit his pants. Yeah, all right.

Just once. This abuse get nice and chewy. You too. What are chicken fries? For the rice also. But... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, there's been another trans-dimensional event. I'm supposed to stop these things from happening.

Trisha, I need your help! Oh great, great great. Bobri? Oh, sorry. Robri. Robri. Robri? H5 Delta?

No, I'm not asking you to read the iTunes 5 star review names. Never mind, you are dead weight. Alright, you'll have to do this yourself. It's okay, all of the realities are depending on you. First things first, remind all the listeners that this of course was not real. But can you believe how meticulously fleshed out it is? Usador was played by Matt Young. If there's a fresh-faced Arjanu, Matt would be its broken shadow mirror image.

Chant was portrayed by Adel Ruffai. His reliable presence on the show only tells me he has literally no other projects in play. Spin Tax the Green has not somehow bled into your world world causing any amount of unpredictable consequences because he's a fictional character played by Charlie McCracken. Instead of spending time with your loved ones, you can follow Charlie on Twitter at the Cracken.

Hungary Chobbins was played by VoiceOver New newcomer Tom Gottlieb. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neekampe, Evan Jacover and Ryan DeGeorgie, edited by Ryan DeGeorgie, music by Andy Poland. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan. Learn more about the show and how it's not real at hellofromthemagictavern.com or follow us on Twitter at MagicTaven. All of this barely organized whatever it is was sponsored by large management group. Don't forget to get your free t-shirt when you buy tickets to Chicago Summer Wing Fest using the code podcast at wingfest.net.

Oh, sir. Also, if people are looking for another Chicago podcast co-op show they should check out? There's Open-ended, a bi-weekly podcast exploring humanity among the digital noise through interviews and investigations. Open-ended, part of the Chicago podcast co-op. Ugh, I should call my supervisor. This will not look good. Maybe I'll... wait, maybe this will all blow over. Maybe. Welcome to Burger King, would you like to try our bacon and cheese tender crisp today? Greetings, Oracle!

Take me to this King of Burgers! For God's sake. And if he is busy, I will dain't revisit with King Jr. Cheeseburger. Who is this? This is Spin Tax, the green! Go, go forward, we'll win it or... I will pull you forward from the sorghum and cleave you in twain. Linda!

Linda too! He will, Linda! I'm coming for you! I'm not satisfied. He will in that. I'm coming for you. I'm not set as fries.