Hello From The Magic Tavern - 25 - Eagles

Episode Date: August 20, 2015

With Spintax taking care of things, we can get back to our regular podcast routine and have some normal guests on the show -- that is, if you can consider two gigantic eagles normal guests.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungCraw: Joseph WalkerFlappy: Brian HoldenOtok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. The following podcast is not real, but it is really sponsored by Iron Galaxy. Scream like a school kid with capsule force, an intergalactic retro anime multiplayer 25th. Learn more at capsuleforce.com.

Hello, from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. If you're listening to this podcast for the first time. Are you starting? Yes. Yes. I wanted to go get a drink. You said where I'm starting.

I literally just started the podcast. We all know this. This is the most important part. This is the only part of the podcast that's mine where I talk. I'm sorry. You got to interrupt me. I'm already naked. I'm from Chicago Half a year ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger king into the magical land of fune And I'm really I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just wanted to get a drink So I thought I go and use it or go get a drink

I'll be right so I fell through this dimensional portal behind a Burger King into the magical land of fune. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift and I use that to upload a podcast. I record every week in the Vermilion Minotaur a tavern in the town of Hogsface in the land of fune. And you flashed a memory and I. Grimlin' yeah, I feel like that should be. It should add that to the kid. Putting all our cards on the table.

That's a lot. I mean, the audience doesn't need to know that. I have a wife and child back home who I am separated from and trying to get back in contact with a few weeks ago. I was tricked by. So you guys are finally separated? No, no, I mean I I just haven't I haven't been able to get in contact gotchi I figured she'd officially

like you know no separated by dimension exactly separated by dimensions it's like a Romeo and Juliet story is it what what is that it's it's a it's a it's a pull I don't want to talk about it stuff But I'm sorry. I spent I should introduce my my co-hosts I am you sir. Oh wizard of the twelfth realm of a fesious master of light and shadow Mini-peelings are of magical delights devour of chaos champion of the great Tirokis the old nobis fear the door of snow be is zoning and extinguishing, and I'm known in the North East as guest-winning as May star, and there may be other secret names you do not know yet. I'll be right back as soon as I get it.

And the talking badger, Chant. Hello. I'm a shape shifter. You're a shape shifter, yeah, but you're more often than not a badger. Yeah, I've got some pretty comfortable with the badger. I'll take some meat with a little resby. You know what, I'm having, I'm just pretty comfortable with the badger. I'll take some meat with a little resby You know what I'm having I'm just gonna have a water all right, you know while he's gone I just want to let you know

I don't know if this is something you're interested in or not But with all the void in the dark Lord and all this pressing evil I just feel like I should probably just do what I want as far as you know We just do what I want as far as, you know, pursue my dreams. And first of all, Sean, have you ever in any way not done what you want? You don't seem like a self-sensoring type. I mean, I just kind of hang out. But I was thinking about possibly opening up a restaurant. I would run it, Yusunor would be the chef, he's already talked to me a little bit about

it, and I thought maybe you might win in on that action. It doesn't seem like you're going anywhere soon. Probably not unfortunately, but we were, O-Talk barleyfoot, the owner of the Vermilion Minotaur has always been so great to us. Why would we open a competing... Well, it would be like a late night food called like Chuchu's Chow or late night... Chuchu's late night plants or something. I didn't know, I've known you for half a year, I had no idea you had this dream to open a place of your own. Yeah, I just I'm a big fan of food so and I've had everything being all different animals. I've tasted everything basically name something name of food

Eggs Benedict try it. I mean get creative Debrats try it As a cat the when you're a cat. They're the best you you ask my question. What do you think eggs Benedict is? It's a it's eggs I'm served by a guy named Ben and he's being a total dick. Yeah, I should have guessed You said or so you are you're gonna you're gonna be part of this new restaurant. Oh this wonderful venture. Yeah I Yeah, I somehow surely use all my magical prowess to bring nothing but success and This seems like a horrible idea

Oh literal it seems like a literally like a bad idea, but also just like a Horrible storyline. I feel like if this were a TV show story like This is a hundred percent real I'm just saying if this was a cop show it would be like those episodes was like oh the cops opened up ball It's a cop Can I tell you something that's a terrible terrible storyline what is a guy comes to a magical land Disrespects everybody doesn't even try and get home and then fuck some memory Grimland. That's a terrible storyline I'm just saying like why I sure like I'm just saying like why I know look I'm just saying this whole restaurant thing is gonna be like Why is Munch and Andre Brower in this bar all the time?

I'm not these words. Are you speaking a spell has our stuff? I don't want to talk well Thank you for your support. I'm glad I open up to you. Let's go ahead and introduce our guests I hear your drinks and I also brought some pure River water for our guests. Yes. Yeah, it's hard not to acknowledge our guests, because they're gigantic eagles. Ha ha ha ha! I'm not that big, am I? Oh.

Yes, we are grand eagles from Grand Eagle Island. Yes, yes. Hello. Hello to all the listeners out there. My name is Trin. Ah! Whoa! But you can call me Crock. Crock? Yeah, I will. Hello? Hello to all the listeners out there. My name is TRI- RAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH getting up into it. Well, I will just the other day. I nearly fell into a volcano until a couple of big old birds came in swiping out. Oh, Nude was going there.

I thought I thought you were going to say someone else picked you up. Oh, Nude. I was a heavily volcano. It was at this week. Can I answer? I know so many of us at our stories and with and then the great Eagles saved me. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you guys just wait to help him out? Or what is it? Well, we have a fondness in our heart for all wizards. Really? So, yes. And it seems like most people don't have that. Well, as grander you, Eagles.

It's a little bit our jobs to keep an eye on all the wizards of food throughout the realms, just to make sure that they don't fall into any abyss or nothings or any other... It's why Ephesians placed us in the realm in the first place. So we're here to keep an eye on things

and we've also got really great sight so we can kind of like look through mountains and things like that. Yes, we can see through almost anything. Almost anything. Can't see through that. What can we can see through almost anything. Almost anything. Can't see through that. What can't you see through? Led, which is really interesting.

It's frustrating. We have a hard time keeping track of the dwarves. Yeah, the dwarves are an elusive breed to us. And basically anything else, it's underneath a bridge or behind a pole. Take those. Yes, well, of course, all of that. I am often aided in my quest by many of the great eagles,

another great animal lords of the world of foun. Well, yeah, just this very weak I spoke the magical words and Grimhoof, the horse lord, came to me. Grimhoof. Yeah, oh, you know Grimhoof, don't you? Well, yes. Of course, of course. We know every huge creature of foun. I, well, that's right. So, is it you? Yes, of course. I, we know every huge creature.

I, well, that's right. So is it me the fifth fastest horse in the world? That's right. The fifth fast. The fifth fast. Ha ha ha! The fifth fastest, yes. Usador, you are a lovable fool.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Yeah. This is, I'm very excited to meet these giant eagles. You're just these beautiful majestic creatures Oh little off put by someone really being that into Yusador what I Mean I love you Yusador. You're my bud. You're my boon companion, but I don't know strange thing to say have you ever picked Yusador up and carried him to safety no luck He is very

Look in that situation. Let me tell you, whispers friendly things into my ears. Very great for wizard. Very, very, very helpful. What's some of the things he whispers in your ear? Well, he calls me his good friend. Which is not common in the Eagle race. We are a bit uncomfortable with our emotions. Yes, we don't get close to each other. We often nest alone and we only really get together once every few years

To travel the realm and sort of reestablish our position in the realm We call it the Eagles World Tour So we do that every few years and just keep tabs on things and make sure people still know we're around Yeah, so I would like in the past. I would have to imagine it's like it's pretty rare. It's like hell freezing over. Indeed, indeed. Oh, let me go to the next round to where

did she have a witchy woman on? We had a witchy woman. Yeah, yeah. Yes, Hellgoth, she got us into some trouble when she slaughtered that village we had. Speaking of witchy woman, I forgot I had some news to tell you at the top of the podcast. Uh-huh. You know, a few weeks ago, I was asking for a friend about a possible kidnapped wedding,

for someone who trapped a beautiful and chantress in a crystal coffin. Yeah. Well, a folk confession, that was me. Yeah, we a full confession that was me. Yeah, we knew that and I had captured my old love Genleivia, but it turns out she was a plate of croissants. Oh Did I was a trick she played on me? I thought she'd cast these plate of croissants so that I would think they were her And I put them in a crystal coffin and I tried to marry them and it didn't take I'm sorry, is this something that happens to wizards a lot?

Last week Spin-Tex was in love with a woman he didn't realize was bisected and now... Do you know not the dangers of falling in love when you are a wizard? Surrounded by such enchantments and portals to other worlds? Is that a UFO? Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss the world. That are UFOs. Strange manifestations that there is no way to know what is real and what is not. Did you at least bring the plate of croissant? Oh, he's in the wizard's seat. Are you guys, while he's in the wizard's seat, has he approached you about joining his quest?

Yeah, you guys are aware of his quest? We've heard rumors about his quest. You know, we don't like to really get involved in quests from the beginning because it's pretty time consuming. We know we just We just know he's going to call us at the end of the quest and we're going to have to Swoop in stop doing whatever we're doing and I mean, Pra I can't speak for you frankly I prefer that to be here the whole time because then you're dealing with orcs and things like that. And frankly, just unpleasantness. We've got lives. Yeah, you show up for

the good part, basically. And we repal the glory. We repal the glory. Drinks off the table. Oh, that's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun.

That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. right back after this. Hi, this is Otak Barleyfoot from the Vermilion Minotaur. Hello. Oh, Danielle, I'm recording something right now. Can you go back to me? Oh, okay.

That was my face. Um, hi, this is Otak Barleyfoot from the Vermilion Minotaur. This one I get in need. Yeah, it's just a squirmish. The boy. Boy! Okay. Hi, this is Otak. The boy? Boy! Yes. OK. Hi, this is Otak Barleyfoot from the Vermillion Minotaur.

This makes rumor of the week. All the ale wives in the lake are dying. It's possible that it could be from a poisoned amulet that was dropped in there. Or it could just be the season or just a predator or something like that. But it could also be a poison animal. If you'd like to hear another rumor, you're going to have to come on down to the Vermillion Minotaur and purchase yourself a drink.

Or by our friend, Fianniela, a drink. We would appreciate that. Vermillion Minotaur, right on the edge of the Mixingleshane Forest. Alright, take it easy. We're back. What? Never mind. Earth people are. What danger is that? No, there's nothing. But that brings up a good point. I was kind of wondering, so you said that you're always rescuing Yusador.

Do you ever rescue him from emotional dangers? Like falling in love with a play to Cresson? Well, it's unfortunately he falls into those dangers far too often for us. Sure. I was about to say the same thing. What was the name of that maiden who you were chasing down many years ago? And we had to pull you off of the endless tower. Oh, yes, yes Seamlia. Seamlia. Seamlia. Seamlia in the endless tower. Oh, the endless tower was so fun. I eat sounds terrible, but really it was it was quite enjoyable. You got through it faster than a lot of people. Well, you got through the endless tower? Oh, there's an interit.

Well, no, I got through it, and then I started again for its endless. It's an infinite loop. It turns out it's not as much a tower as it is a rigged. Hence us coming and nailing him out. Yes, but to the eye, it appears to be a tower, but you go up in it and you realize it's all one infinite loop. Look, look at that., that's how you do. I don't want to sound this ungrateful.

But you are a great eagle lord. Oh, you have bailed me out of many a tight spot. But I do shake my finger at you. What? I do wag my finger at you. For sometimes you eagles are too passive. You should be more proactive. Here comes the hard sell.

For we are in crunch time. The Dark Lord approaches. You see the minions surround us at all times. Yet you sit in your nests with your wonderful vision, staring down upon food and taking no action. What will convince you to join my quest? Usador? You have offended us.

You're right. Oh, look, usador. Don't take this the wrong way, but just call us when you need us. We, we guys are rescuing wizards or usadors specifically. What's like a typical day for you guys? Yeah, what's a restaurant? Yeah, it's a restaurant. A typical day.

We'll take a quick fly around the realm. Breakfast. Breakfast. We'll pick up, if we find some wild horses, we'll grab some wild horses and pick them apart, limb for limb. Oh, delicious. Yeah, eat some horses. Oh, I do like cows full of milk.

Cow's full of milk or pig. Popping of mouth. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That actually sounds quite delicious. Can you make a tiny cow full of milk? Oh, yes.

Oh, that's nice. Wait, wait, make it big. Make it big. Are you being a big cow? I think you're a big cow. Make it tiny. Of course, I can make any size. I wish I had a tiny cow.

I want a tiny cow. There you are. All right. Prepare yourselves. Tiny cow, tiny cow. Big You all right Prepare yourself tiny cow tiny cow Fouci can turn Oh, it's roughly medium size. It's not smalls horses have been It's not as large as a cow normally. I've never seen a cow with horns. Yes, this is a bull. This is a bull.

And we're not... It's not going to be full of mouth. No, it's not going to be full of mouth. It is still a pop-air mouth. It was just creamy flavor. Oh, I know what it is. Oh, you are trying to trick us. This is the type of relationship we have with you. This is Lucy, you see it.

This is a good guy. You can't get angry with me when I'm playing it. You're like this. Alright, here's the way it is with you, Sodor and us. Imagine you are observing from your mountain nest, a man who is trying so, so hard. Trying so, so hard all the time and fall in. I do try on.

The first time we ever met Yusador, he had fallen down the hill from his house, drunken. He laid at the bottom of the hill and communicated with a worm which passed the message along to a moth. Yes. Anyway, three months later we get the message and we're like what? There was a wizard at the bottom of a hill. He just won't get up. I was that worm. That's how I first met you Oh, I had no idea I had no idea as well. This is a reunion

Eagles night Eagles night indeed. That's right. John. Have you ever been an eagle? I have not now You should try it for new listeners. We died. You know, we don't need to always go into this but John did not know that's not or who changes in different animals Well, then the Eagles here's what I'll say the Eagles are so regal. They're so noble that I feel like we are the Wiggles. We are Prince Eagles. Oh Prince Eagles. No, we're brothers. We're princes. We're princes of the Eagles. Of course. Are Father Talonors the Great Eagle of the Realm?

Maybe the wind ever stayed beneath his wings. Indeed. They're very tall, they're very large, but can't you see there's tiny crowns on top of their heads? Oh wait, here, let us tip our heads. See? Oh wow, yeah, they're so high up. There's kind of tiny crowns actually Well mine mine is kept on within a last because it falls when I'm flying. Oh here you go

Well, let me put this tiny cow on top of your crown, and I'll just wait it down Okay, and I guess I'll just chill. Flap me Don't eat this. Hey, life's been good to you so far. All right, all right, all right. So which one of you is one of you closer to the crown and the other one? Flapy? Yes, I am the next in line for the grand eagle throne.

But Flapy, I don't know what I would do without my little brother. All right, I try and keep things light around the eagles nest, you know, and I'm always bringing back weird things, like a two small fish for everybody I'm like I did it Eagles night sure a nest is a bachelor nest we have bunk nests Okay, so my yeah, I'm on the top nest and you're on the bottom nest. Yes Unfortunately, we must remain in this sleeping situation until our father grants us permission

to create our own rules. And keep in mind, where is old is the realm. So we've been here for thousands of years. It's a long time to be in bunk nests. Yeah, well, not for a regal eagle. I mean, maybe for a mighty duck, but for a regal eagle, this is normal. Yeah. Does anyone else need anything for a buy?

I think I'll do it. Ah! Oh, you saw. You, all right. You caught, here we go. Help me. Here we go, crowd. Let's get him.

Let's send the great wind. Great wind for our wings. So lovely, you're pretty bad. So great. There we go. I would normally be one red wish you had a good time. You should always be there to help you up. Yes.

Right. Thank you for this food. Bow at the two greatest eagles in all of food. That's all I wanted to do. That's why we come to see you, Siddore, every now and again. Look, guys, this has been fantastic. I just want to say, if you're ever in trouble, you need to be up with the whole new somewhere.

Yeah, I mean, if I'm in danger or something, I'd love to have that kind of... I could actually really use some financial investors into a new late-night restaurant I'm looking for. Okay, yeah, about our adventure. Yeah, we caught it, we caught it. So we'll find some investors, and also we've killed actually a couple dragons

So yeah, so we've got a pretty good bounty back in Brandy, Goliath, and sure in addition to that could you perhaps find Something for Arnold to do during the week Hmm well, hey listen I'm really saving you you can't fly right I cannot fly okay save him. You you can't fly right? I cannot fly. Okay. Hmm hmm. You can't fly. Yeah, although I can remember that one time you had a feather and you told me you know you're making fun of my mind. Yeah, I was a joke. So far the only mat like the only power we've discovered Arnie has is to not miss his wife. I miss my wife and my child very. This is a great power indeed. Very impressive. That should be difficult. It is you obviously are exerting great self control to not miss your life

I do miss my power to you, honey. Yes So flappy and claw thank you so much for being guests on the podcast Any time yes, this has been a pleasure. It's been it's been awesome to learn more about like your rescuing of wizards and It's been awesome to learn more about your rescuing of wizards and we definitely want to have you back and especially for in danger. Oh, of course. If you're in danger, get in touch with a moth or chunt. Maybe you can do something, revert to worm form. If anyone has insect speech, just and one along and you'll come along and what the?

Chunt, do you have insect speech now? Do you remember insect speech now? Like do you remember insects? Well, once I become an animal, I can sort of communicate with that species. So. Great. John, hit us up. Yeah.

Well, let's read some emails. Sure. I didn't mention it earlier in the podcast, but if you want to get in touch with us, you can email us at Magic Tavern at puppies.supplies. I know it doesn't sound like a real email address. It's all I could get because of the firewall of the Burger King.

And here's some emails we've gotten recently. Dear Arnie, why do you even ask us to email you when you just say blah, blah, blah through every email regards Riley D. Some of these emails are kind of long. And so I sort of start going on real life I kind of need to skip ahead but thank you Riley D for sending a one sentence email Usually the punchier and shorter your email the better chance you have of it being written. Here's another one. It's kind of short

My girlfriend and I just broke up and I've been trying to put curses on her Oh, but I can't find the right curse Chants up with that to put curses on her. Oh. But I can't find the right curse, chants up with that, to put on her. I don't want her to die or anything, that's good. But you know a horde of birds shit on her head, something along those lines. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Well, you've come to the right place.

We are giant birds, the grand eagles of food, and we will gladly shit upon some Exco friends head. We just need one third, it'll wrench. I feel like with your size, we would kill somebody, have you ever, this is maybe two personal of a question, have you ever accidentally killed someone by shitting on them? We do it mostly as pranks, no real murder involved. It takes incredible aim and sometimes with the wind velocity it's very complicated but we have eaten people Oh sure, yeah, and torn them apart. We've ripped them a sunder on purpose. Yeah, oh sure. Is he certain he was dating a woman and not some sort of big?

Yeah, Yusudar, I still feel like there's more to this story. Nope, that was it. I got a few emails here. Oh, great. Just a reminder, you can contact me at chunts with six teas at gmail.com. I'm also on Twitter now, baby. Oh, yeah. Oh, welcome, my friend. I'm at AtSign, a chunt with six teas. So check me out on Twitter, hit me up there.

What do you do? Yeah, it's a, it's a, There's a wonderful world back on Earth. It land called Trottern. And in this place, you can send all sorts of trots out. You can also contact me there. I'm through the roof. Yeah, Chant and you said our both on Twitter now.

And I really like your constantly. It's a matter of I can be. No, no, no. Look, look, I get you guys like to tweet a lot. And I feel like you're wasting the battery a little too fast So you know, I'm gonna ask you a lightning Thank you. Thank you for recharging He's a real Lucy you see I like that. I'm gonna use that. It's all yours, man

I got a email here from and I'm gonna only read two emails because these are emails that came to me with the subject Smash mouth, which is what I asked for So I'm gonna read a few of those I got one from Steve Casey Steve writes name sounds that came to me with the subject Smashmouth, which is what I asked for. So I'm going to read a few of those. I got one from Steve Kaisy, Steve writes. My name sounds really familiar to me. Kaisy, Steve Kaisy, Steve Kaisy, rolls off the tongue. Quick question about shape shifting. I've been very interested in becoming a shape shifter since listening to the podcast.

In an effort to become one, I'm having sex with various animals, including but not limited to ferrets, alpacas, raccoons,orses, Big Not Tiny, and one Blue J. What's a pretty good menagerie. When you said Big Not Tiny, for a second I thought you said Big Not Tiny. Well, that's a you problem. Go to Jackson. So far I haven't changed into any of these.

Am I missing a step? Thanks in advance, Steve Kasey. Steve Kasey, you have to be a shapeshifter. You can't, it's not something you can become by I mean Steve Casey, he might be a big trouble. Crazy Yeah, he's you're just doing straight-up bestiality. We do not condone that. Yeah, why don't you come to your senses? So you've been out writing fancy. What let me let me think about this No, we do not condone. No, we do not yeah, it. No, we do not. Yeah, you have to be born

a ship shifter. Sorry, sorry Steve Casing. I got one other email here. This is also with the subject Smash Mouth. It says, Hey, Sean, love the show, love the banter. My request is simple. Please bring back, Sean, please. I consider it to be far superior catchphrase to chun's up with that from Alan Connolly. Yeah, I one time said, shunt please. And I don't think anybody really enjoyed it, so I stopped doing it. I don't know, I like that. I also like I suggested chun hardly wait. I think I'll bring back chun please. Good idea. And there's my new catchphrase, Big Nut Tainey. You could have chun please in your restaurant. Ooh, yeah, when they ask for the check they go chunk please so Eagles could you could you save people from themselves like I feel like this restaurant idea is just a low that they could Dottal below the fake this Arnie. It's more of a physical thing. Yeah, the main thing we do is pick people up and carry them somewhere else with our feet

Yeah, I guess it's pretty straightforward now that you put it, put it like, like, one of the most wonderful nonetheless. Yes, yes, thank you. As always, I would like to ask our listeners to please, if you're enjoying the podcast, let other people know about it. This is important information about there being multiple dimensions, more people on earth.

Are you wrapping up now? No, you said, you're already like dashing to the bar. Are you wrapping up? Well, I'm kind of wrapping up, but you should say, but I need to go over here first. Why, where are you going? I'm going back to the bar. I'll get another, I'm worried about your drinking.

Don't, don't, don't you dare tell me what to do. I am a great wizard of food. You said all the blue and you cannot tell me how to behave or what to do wrap up your show Cloth floppy Would you like fly over and stop him from getting right at save me for myself? Yeah, good luck Well, he does that is it all right? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, hold on hold on hold on I bathe in this river All right, you said oh come here. Come here, here.

Hey, let's go for a walk. Okay, tell me about the dark floor. No, well the dark floor is the evil person. I don't want to hear that. Oh wow, that sounds really terrible. Knock, knock. Who's there? No one because this show is not really happening, so don't answer the door and don't concern yourself with other dimensions.

Chunk was played by a trained voice actor, just kidding he was played by Alarotha. User door the wizard was played by Matt Young. Enjoy that scenery Matthew, it's been well-masticated. Craw and Flappy were played by special guests Joseph Walker and Brian Holden. Joseph and Brian are founding members of the parody theater group Star Kid Productions. See Star Kid Live this fall at I.O. Chicago in the show Yes I Am Afraid of the Dark. Follow at Team Star Kid on Twitter for more details. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp,

Evan Jacover and Ryan DeGeorgie, edited by Ryan DeGeorgie, music by Andy Poland, hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan. Learn more about the show and how it's not real at hellofromthemagictavern.com or follow us on Twitter at Magic Tavern. Allot LaBan. in person. Hello from the Magic Tavern will be doing a live show Saturday September 5th at the IO Theater in Chicago as part of the Jangle Heart Circus Comedy Festival. Get tickets and more information at janglehardcircus.com and bring your ukulele, am I right millennials? All of these

unrealish foolings were brought to you by Iron Galaxy as part of the Chicago podcast co-op. Don't forget to check out capsuleforce at capsuleforce.com.