Hello From The Magic Tavern - 28 - Forever Girl

Episode Date: September 8, 2015

This week I meet a little girl who will live forever! I think? I'm not super clear on the rules, but Chunt and Usidore are excited about it.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungEternia: Becca BarishBurger King Employee: Max TemkinMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Download the Subscribe app for access to the best curated cuisine your neighborhood has to offer. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun. I'm your host,neini Camp. If you have not listened to the podcast before, there's sort of a lot to get out of the way up front, but I'll try to get through it relatively quickly. About a half a year ago I fell through a dimensional portal in a behind-the-burger king into the magical land of Foon. Luckily I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the burger king, I think

through the dimensional rift, and I'm using that to upload a podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the town of Hogsface, in the land of Foon, and I'm joined as always by my co-host, Shunt. Jim, please. You're really doubling down on that Shunt. Shunt is a little... Well, that's good that you've decided to go with. I can't remember what my new catchphrase was going to be.

It was like... I think here's was... Big nut pulp or decided to go with I can't remember what my new catchphrase was gonna be it was like Here's was big nut bolt or something. Yeah, I guess it's worth forgetting big nut small big nuts small I might have been carnival willsons sticks. Yeah, that's a good one and I am used to Wizard of the twelfth rail mafisius master of light and shadow manipulator of magical delights Do all of chaos champion of the great halls of Turokus! The elves know me as sheying, y'all, I don't do that. The dwarves know me as zone in who extinguisher that I am known in the Northeast as Gaspon. And the Eagles know you as Lucy UC.

And the Eagles know me as Lucy UC. And I am no Northeast is gas many space I don't say that part I can't remember and then maybe other secret names you do not we know several of them slippery all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree all spree Give us one more. One more? Yeah. Let's see. I would have the... He's digging through a pouch on his way. Oh, the gamblers of Turoth know me as Johann Sebastian Baccarach. Oh.

I wish I didn't know that. No, you can never rotten know it. Hey, I use my hour of computer time today. And you've been really good about. Well, as far as I know. I'm furious, but I'm trying to make the best of it. It you've been really good about. As far as I know. I'm curious, but I'm trying to make the best of it. It's for your own good. I think I'm going to join something called Tinder.

It looks pretty fun. I think you would love it, but I think you're just going to get frustrated because it's, because it's for stuff on Earth. Like you're not going to be able to really connect with what you're wanting to connect with. Oh, I'm sorry. Once again.

So I wasted an hour on that site. Yeah. Can I have another hour? Yes, you can have another hour. I'm just, I'm learning that when I get back to Earth and I'm reunited with my daughter, that I don't know, I think I'm gonna be a permissive father. Like I can't say no.

I can't say no to you, Chuck, and you're not, you're just talking badger. I hate to know how to get as much time as you want. What? Okay. Never mind, I don't need the... What is this? No, PS, in the next week, we have a Chunch Knight

and an open mic night, so if you wanna come to either of those, I know you've missed that. I have, I know, I'm never gonna come to Chunch Knight, but I am really interested in going to open Mike Night. Can I ask why you'll never be at Chunch Night? I'm why I would, yes, exactly. I don't know, I get enough Chunch in my week. Out.

Love you, Chunch, but I don't need to go, I don't need to go to Chunch Night, but open Mike Night, you see me and Mike the inside out or turns himself inside out and does five minutes of standup, that's great. I'm very excited to see that. But I didn't chew chew.

I know. You see me for one hour a week? Well, that's a lot. The other week when we played Dragon's Talent, you said I was one of your best friends. Yeah, you are. No. Well, this week's Chunch Night will be all about hating Arnie.

Oh, well, I'm not surprised. It, be honest, that's frequently the theme of Chunch Night. I mean, blemish will sometimes make it about you. Sure. Speaking of Chunch Night, you said that you met someone at Chunch Night. You wanted to bring on as a guest. That's frequently the theme of chun's night. I mean blemish will sometimes make it about you sure Speaking of chun's night you said that you met someone at chun's night you wanted to bring on as a guest Yeah, this is my friend attorney. Yeah, hi. Hi attorney. Yeah, you're sister adorable little girl forever Ever yeah It's Arnie a wonderful magical moment for your witnessing this is forever a forever girl Yeah, I was born with a heart so pure that they said they make me a child forever

So that I'm not impacted by the faults of adulthood So I just stay a little girl forever Wow long if you've been a little girl. Oh, she's I lost count. I don't even really know But it's been a real long time. Can you show me with your fingers? Don't talk like that to her. Now she's a little girl. That's how little children show you.

She's been around for a long time. Cause the reason I met her is she walked into the Vermillion Minotaur and I was like, you should not be here, this is a bar. Yeah. And then she told me that she... Yeah, I could go. And then we went to that community service event

that we planned. Goodwill chanting. Oh really? Goodwill chanting. She helps out with goodwill chanting. Yeah, that's great. I know. How do you like them apples? Yeah, it is true that you do a lot of outreach and also I guess hunt for the red.

Ch hunt for the red October. Ch hunt for the red October. That makes no sense. Ch hunt for the red October is still coming up. Yeah, the Ch hunt for the red October is a blood drive to feed vampires for any vampires who are having trouble necking or finding blood. I guess necking is probably not the right term, but for finding blood.

So, attorney, that was your name? Mm-hmm. I guess I'm still having a little bit of trouble wrapping my head around this. So you are a little girl forever, but you've been a little girl for years and years and... Yeah, when they told me they said to me, you know, you're gonna be a little girl forever

and I was thrilled. You know, it's actually really wonderful. It makes me feel real good to just know that I can be a little girl and have fun for my whole life. Sure. Please accept from me this prism. Prism? Yes. As a forever girl, one of the most sacred and magical creatures in all of food, I give you this gift to honor you.

And should I ever call upon your assistance, I hope you shall do me the great favor of assisting your lowly servant. Wow, everything you said or be so deferential before. Yeah, it's pretty humbled by her magic. You know, she, um, she has a great talent. The reason I invited her to Chunstein is because she, she does impressions. Wow, I'd love to hear. I don't know if they would mean anything to me. I mean, I'm a relative newcomer to food. I don't know. You would mean anything to me. I'm a relative newcomer to food. I don't know. You can still enjoy it. I mean, impressions really, it's not even words that you use.

It's just more like the vibe they'd get from you. They just heard you're a japper. Yes, and stuff. Oh, why don't you do an impression of mine? I'd love to hear an impression of mine. If you sounded like someone would get as the impression of you to just there like famous figures in Foon or? Well, Spin Tax is probably my most favorite. I mean, I've got all this stuff and posters all over my room and stuff like that. So that's a big one I really like.

Okay, yeah, I gotta be honest though. I gotta warn you. I mean, Spin Tax is on Earth now, but just in general, if he ever comes back, he renders child fat, so like you... Yeah, I know, I volunteer my friends. Oh. Oh. I'm a nice person! Oh! Wait! You volunteered your friends to die? Well, I don't know, what else are they gonna do?

I guess... As a point. Oh, high percentage of foolish children, dude. There's a lot of child death, I suppose. Yeah. It turned out... Oh, so what? What do you do? There's a lot of child death. I suppose that's true. It turned out worth the war. What do you do on a day-to-day basis with yourself?

Do you spend your time? I assure you you must play in frolic and make new friends. Sure. Well, I live at the Big Apple. So that's a pretty exciting place. Big Apple. Yeah. It's just a huge apple. And it keeps growing. And we just bring apples for people that need more food

and stuff like that. So that's really fun. It's great. I really love that. I mean, besides how helping spin-tax kill your friends, you seem like you do a lot of good. Yeah. I come from a really good family.

My mom, she lost her sight. She's a Nazi. So that's been really nice. The Nazis are known for being just the nicest people in food. And they just, what is that? Yeah, she's a Nazi. A Nazi.

Yeah, she can't see. Yeah, she can't see. She's a Nazi. Okay. Yeah, and they're wonderful. No one can say anything bad about any Nazis because they're the poorest people. Yeah, I would just not say that.

Whenever you see a play, oftentimes you're there of feelings in the play. But whatever you want, like a good go to, like good guy, you go, let's put some Nazis in there. Yeah. It's so nice. It's just, the thing about it is, I just feel so proud

to be from a family of Nazis. Uh-huh. Yes. How many people in your family cannot see? Oh, well, just my mom really cannot see. Yeah. Oh, I see. But just collectively, that makes you

your whole family of Nazis. Well, if your mom's a Nazi, then you're a Nazi. Oh, I see. Mm-hmm. I'm a Nazi. OK. Well. I'm a Nazi youth. And I'm going to be forever a Nazi. see. Oh, I see. I see. I'm a Nazi. Okay, well, I'm a Nazi youth and I'm going to be forever a not.

Oh, no. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know, hey, if you ever make your way to earth, don't I wouldn't say that. Hey, where does just mean different things in different places.

You know, like the okay symbol on parts of earth is a dirty sign and that in okay symbol. Yeah, like look what I'm doing with my hand. So I'm making this symbol. It means okay and it's a good thing. It's like hey, that's everything is. That's a symbol for I have three buttocks. Oh really?

Yeah, you put up three fingers. There, there, there, there, there, there, there, there. Okay, well that's see, that's the thing. Different things mean different things. I love hand games. Yeah, different things do mean different things. I was really insightful. I love the end game. Yeah, different things do mean different things. I was really insightful. I love the brilliant observation.

I'm on the kneecap. For a second, I thought I was gonna get away with that, but nope. I'll have to remember that for a chance tonight. Yeah. So. So, Eternia, what does the future hold for a forever girl? Is it just always gonna be the same

Stuff you have aspirations for yourself. Yeah, I think I try to be really present. I try to be really mindful Every summer I go to concentration camp. Oh, no Just really yeah buckle down. Yeah buckle buckle down make sure I'm super concentrated Sure I do rhythmic rhyme songs, you know I try to practice that I like performing I'm scared to ask but what is what a rhythmic rhyme song? It's like you know when you have a beat going and then you rhyme and you send a message out Yeah and then you rhyme and you send a message mouth. Yeah. It makes sort of like a please. Yeah, we do. It replaces the rhythmic beats of the percussion section. I see. Yeah, you know, we do have this on earth. Oh, I just want to make sure because you know different things mean different

things. Oh, yes. Different things do me different. I'm going to talk about something really good. It's my favorite thing and it's called food And I like those spice potatoes if you don't like it then you're a hater. I'm a Nazi. I'm a Nazi Everybody loves me. I'm a Nazi. That's a little taste. Yeah Excellent wonderful great. So is this the kind of thing that I'm missing from Chant's night? Oh yeah, okay. All kinds of, we do poetry with a beat. Lots of Slant rhyme. Yeah, Slant rhyme.

Well, Limericks. Yeah, like good and third. Good and third, yes. Do you have rhythmic rhyme songs in there? We do, I mean, I hate to say that they're the same. We have something akin to it called rap music in my world. Yeah, I'm surprised that there is something so similar in FUN.

Is it very popular? Or is it just a different song? We have rap music here, but this is nothing like this. Oh, really? Well, what is rap music like here? It's all based on people knocking on your door. Yeah. Like knock knock?

Like who's that rap music? We're having a door? Who's there? Interrupting cow See you don't know how these jokes work. What no that was We'll explain it later. No, I don't explain food stuff. Who's there? She didn't know what that's- That's so adorable! That is like a child! That's so cute! And that's so tiny and so magical!

So you're forever gonna tell jokes like that? That's how children tell jokes. They just sort of get it started and they hope to find something. Yeah. Whereas we know that jokes should always be pre-planned and if you try to make jokes up as you go along, it's a disaster. You never get in the bad. Absolutely. I bet you're funny though. What's that? I bet you're really funny.

You lost that bet. Huh? But everyone tells me that heavy people are funny. Oh. He was a fucking Nazi. Welcome to Burger King. Would you like to try our extra one for our cute cheeseburger today? Hello?

Stop it, not today. My catch is tired. I've had a bad week. This isn't funny. Oh, no! Linda! Hello, Cun! Oh, come on. All right, and we're back. And, you know, I just gotta get this out of here.

And we're back. No, you said, oh, that's... Look, I just want to get this out of the way. I want to apologize to you, Eternia. You seem so sweet and good-hearted for the most part except for letting your smin dex kill your friends. But I just cannot get Perfect in every way. Yeah, I can not do that every way. I'm perfect and perfect and perfect and perfect Perfect. I cannot get past the name Nazi. I'm sorry. I mean, I don't know if it's a weird prejudice. It's not really Predator. Why? It's just it's a really it's it's a very loaded term in my in my world and so I'm sure here I mean can I tell you in food loaded means with sour cream cheese and chives. Yeah, it does. It does all of it. Is that what it means on earth?

Yeah, it has a couple of meanings. Oh, good. Words can have a number of different meanings. So I'm not trying to judge you on the basis of this, but I'm just, I'm letting my prejudices be known that I'm having some trouble with the name. Oh, she's crying. You made a forever girl cry.

Now she's gonna be crying forever. What is that, hello? You made a forever girl cry? No, you should have watched her if you used it all the blue. Prontale, full of shame. Terp but pain. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Sorry, you just caught those people with fire. Sorry'm sorry, I'm sorry. Sorry, I'm sorry. You just caught those people on fire. Sorry, I said I was sorry. Can you get me a drink or something? She allowed to have a drink. You understand? You didn't say anything with alcohol in it. Like, I know you.

I don't need that. Can I give some like breast milk or something? Yes, so talk to one of the unwaid mothers. I'll be right back. Make them with those little cows. I don't know why. I'm seeing them all over breast milk. What's up? He seems really judgy. I don't mean to be.. Thank you. Make him those little cows. I don't know why. He's seen them a little old for breast men. But anyway.

What's up? He seems really judgy. I don't mean to be. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be. I am really trying to be open-minded. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Attorney.

Why don't you- Nazis are the most open-minded people in food. And honestly, I've gotten enough crap from people not accepting the fact that I'm Jewish that I don't even- What? It's enough to be a Jewish Nazi and I just I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Are you? Tell her a nursery rhyme. See that song that you sing for your daughter. I

Love you. I love you good night. Good night. Is that it? Yeah, keep going. I love you. I love you good night. Good night If I should be there when darkness falls. I love you. What was it? Seems a little more ominous. All right, I'll sing. This is the nursery rhyme that I sing to my daughter. And I hope that it makes you feel better.

How old is she? She is, you know, she's a member. Oh my God. She is one year old. I just missed her birthday a little while back. I'm sure. The young wet mothers did not want to expose their breasts and give me their milk. So here is a block of cheats Thank you All right, attorney. I love you. I love you good night. Good night. I love

She fell asleep. I'm really and you started beat by giving me a beat I'm really, and you started beat by saying I was gonna give you a beat. While she's asleep, is this weird? Is what weird? How weird is like, I don't know why. Having trouble wrapping my mind around her age, she's eternally a child. And she is a child.

I mean, in Foon, it's basically forever girls and the great blue tigers are equal. They're very powerful beings. What is their power? I don't even understand it's like basically forever girls and like the great blue tigers are like equal I mean they're very powerful beings. They're just what is there power? I don't even understand like what's their power like if it like what's so What's in that y'all cuz this is it? What the boy born from the royal Titania And there is a royal bread carnival with standing poops And there is a royal bread carnival with standing poops. A morpher and blue who gathers the troops.

To come together and defeat the dark lord, With rubies, a smashmouth and daring sword. She cut from the womb of a beautiful Nazi, The chosen girl, with the perfect fee. What was that? I don't do you know do you know use it or what's I know you don't you don't you don't think I have a pretty good idea You're like it's like kind of no Do you know what you didn't you're like a child telling a joke that you just start with you like of course I know and then make it up as you go along. No wait listen as I swear. Which friends do you want? Okay.

The thing is, it's a thing that forever girls do. You know how forever girls do with thing. Do I? Guys, guys listen. You said it was you. He's going to happen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, If their heart is true and pure, they will be granted a wish. Two. Two. And he wished a day. Two and a half.

So, would she be helpful in your quest? Oh, she's helpful. That's what he's going to give her the prism. I'm not going to ask her. I'm just going to play this. I'm going to play. I'm going in for the long card. I'm just going to wake her up. Eternia, Eternia! Huh? Huh? You were talking in your sleep. What?

You were talking in your sleep. I always do that. Did I admit to bad stuff? Uh, well yes. You did kind of relive luring your child friends to their death at the hands of Spina X. I don't regret that. Didn't I say I regretted that?

You're right. I never said I regretted it. Yeah, and you know what? It's, it's, uh, no. She is in the body of a girl. She's experienced more than you or I shall air. So the things that have happened to her, whether they be dark or happier,

sad, or all filtered through the innocent eyes. Hmm. She looks like a doll. You give me a gift. Did I give for being here? I gave her a gift. Oh, I mean I just have... Give her something.

This button came off of my pocket. Yeah, no surprise. My car got... Did it pop off? Yeah, well, yes. I put on... I somehow, despite the disgusting food here, I've put on a little bit of weight since coming to Hogsface.

And this button, I've been keeping it just in case I could sew it back onto my short, my cargo shorts. But instead, he shall give it to you. This token of another realm. What does it do? It could keep pants up. But it's, you know, you can, it's a good luck charm. I don't know how it is on earth, but an en fune,

a button is a pretty terrible gift for a child. Yeah, because I... Oh, I'm shocked on it. Oh, man, I gotta learn some stuff. Different things mean different things. My gift is I am going to allow you to pet me because I know kids love pets. So I'll pretend to be sort of like a domesticated, you know, tame badger dog. I was with a petchant.

You've only wanted a petchant? Yeah, don't. Let's try to get it on us You gotta be careful when you pet a chant Oh yeah You gotta be real careful when you pet a chant I can't believe no one said that It's so chants

Uh I suppose the turning is going to be petting you now, right? Yeah, I thought that'd be a nice gift It's just like for me to be like her pet Yes, yes, that would be a lovely gift What what what what we're making even lovely Oh All your best friends were all petting you together Oh you can yeah, you used to or you can pet me

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course wonderful Yeah, I'll see he became so childlike kids love it go ahead and pet me Bye-bye Let's read some emails here Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! I tried to make an at-yucidor, wisdom of the twelfth realm of a fesious, master of light and shadow, manipulate our magical light. The hour of chaos champion of the Great Halls of Tarakas. The elves, nobius, fying, all of the doors, nobius, shut up! Also the first of the tangies, and I know he has many as Mastar. This is from Kathy.

Kathy says, I am an animal groomer, and I wanted to show you but holes on earth, since you want to know more about our realm. I groomed different animals, and I'm sure a badger would be no different. We can take special care of that area to ensure cleanliness. If you have any more questions, you can shout into a tree and I'll hear you. She attacks a picture here of an actual photo, I guess this is. Is that what you call them? Photos? Is that what you said they are? What? Oh, Arnie can't hear me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait here on earth. Everything else you might have heard must have been pet names. And she has a list of names. So I'll just read these here. I guess these are all the names used on

earth. We have Amelia smelting Foxery, Henry had a robot chomps, Dudley Franklin, Mr. Fuentes, Bucky Conklin, Billy Yum Yum 2x2, Long Mumps, Freddie Melon, Cornelius Pentegras, Sandy Apples. Yeah, these are all, he's else seen to check out. I don't see Arnie, Neek Camp on here. Yeah, that's just a, this is the made up name. I said, those are all the names. Everything else is just affectionate or fantastical. Yeah, that's the 100%. It's just accurate.

Yeah, that's spacious. Did you get any emails? Yeah, here, let me quick read one here. I got an email from... You should do it to a rhythm. No, I'm not, I'm not very good at rhythmic. What is it called again in Fune? Rhythmic rhyme songs. Rhythmic rhyme songs. If you want to email me you can email me at

Magic Tavern at puppies.supplies. If you have any complaints on Primp to Chant with 60s. No, no, no, no, no, no. I got an email, hey Arnie, I would like to know if Eucid 60s. No, no, no, no, no, no. I got an email, hey Arnie, I would like to know if Yusidor has a special lady in his life. We actually talked about that a little bit recently. But he sounds like quite a catch, and I'd be very interested to teach him about Earth stuff.

If you three are able to come through the portal. Interesting phrasing. I could listen to him talk in his chef voice all day. I'll even try and find a friend for Chant, but no promises. He sounds like the type to have many food STDs regards him as Shell. STD is like a Sun STD.

Soar, Tretary, some death. I mean, sort of, I mean, I guess we haven't really, and this doesn't seem like something to talk about in front of a child, but on world there are there are sexually transmitted diseases like there can be bad consequences to Have you killed people protected sex? People do some people do die some people are just you know plagued with it for either a short period of time or for their entire lives But sex is a wonderful and beautiful natural act between a man and a woman. Oh man and a man Forever girl and a forever boy or Trevor girl and a forever boy

or a badger nurse or a badger nurse or You know just to let that person know you can come here Used to are talking his chef's voice in our restaurant. That's hopefully opening soon We just need enough enough investors, Pimbley Nimble bottoms and he's gonna give us some room. So he's gonna poop some coins. He said it's nothing to him. So why would you not?

Yeah, I'm an man and a man. So come to Cheechy's town and you can talk to our chef, you said or anytime you want. Yes, I would, I would, I would introduce him. I do, I will say I do appreciate how sex positive food is in general, almost to the point of absurdity. Like, I can't get pregnant. I don't want that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I should mention that I, yes, I did recently have a heartbreak. My beloved Genleivia who I had imprisoned

in a crystal coffin turned out to be a plate of croissants. So I'm back on the market. I really have follow up questions about that, but we'll get to that sometime soon. You know what, as we, as we go, I'd like to remind everyone to please give us positive review on iTunes that really helps more people learn about this podcast. That's the way for more people on Earth to find out that there is another dimension parallel

to our own. Besides that, if you know it's parallel or perpendicular, I don't really, I mean, there's another dimension touching our own, rubbing up against our own. Maybe they're not touching at all. I don't know how I got here, I get we- You're a whole- What are your dimensions? What are my own dimensions?

How are your pants ting? I-I'm-this rope. Let's take a moment and count all the real things that happened recently. I stopped counting it zero. That's right, nothing real, no other dimensions, no world torn apart by too much curiosity. Usador the Blue was played shoutily by Matt Young. Chant the shapeshifter was played by Aval, my favorite color is flannel, Rathai. Eternia the Forever Girl was played by Adel, my favorite color is flannel, Rathai. Eternia, the forever girl, was played by Becca Barish.

Becca performs with Arnie, Matt, and Adel in World News tonight. Follow Becca on Twitter at Becca underscore barish. The Burger King Drive-Thru worker was played by Max Temkin. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Jacoba, and Ryan DeGeorgie, edited by Ryan DeGeorgie, music by Andy Poland. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan.

Learn more about the show and how it's not real at hellofromthemagictavern.com, or follow us on Twitter at Magic Tavern. Also, hello from the MagicTavron has a Facebook page with lots of evidence that the show is not really happening. Well, you dared us to sell you reasonably priced hello from the MagicTavron t-shirts and we accepted. Get your hello from the MagicTavron t-shirt

at nrvoteas.com today! And all of this vibrant pretending was brought to you by Subscribe with help from the Chicago Podcast Co-op. Don't forget to download the Subscribe app now. Learn more at SubscribeApp.com and learn more about the Chicago Podcast Co-op at ChicagoPotCastCoop.com. co-op.com.