Hello From The Magic Tavern - 34 - Chunt for Red October

Episode Date: October 21, 2015

The Chunt for Red October is finally here! What better way to celebrate than to interview a pair of vampires in need. At least I think they're in need.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungChip von Pierre: Jeff MurdochBippy von Pierre: Jo ScottOtok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanEpisode Art: Tyler SchmidtYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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using the promo code HubaStank. Yes, HubaStank. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune. I'm your host Arnie Neekamp. This is what's going on if you haven't heard the podcast before. A little over a half a year ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger king into the magical land of fune. Luckily I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift and I use that to upload a

podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the vermilion minotaur, in the town of Hogsface, in the land of fune. And I'm joined as always by my guests on this very special day. It's a fundraiser day. It's Chund for the red October and my co-hosts are. Oh yeah, baby. Chant the Talking Badger, live-bedding shifter. And this is a big day for you. You've been talking up this huge day. We do this every October and it's just we're gonna have a blood drive that benefits vampires who no longer are able to hunt for themselves or who are no longer willing to hunt for themselves. So I think this is a very wonderful cause. So come on out to the Vermilion Minotaur, we have some blood stations set up,

where blood will be, um, sucked out of you, and then put into, um, some containers to pass off to the needy. And I want to learn more about how exactly that works, but first, uh, our other co-hosts. I am Yusudor, Wizard of the Twelfth Rail, Muffezeusious master of light and shadow manipulator of magical delights devour of chaos champion of the great halls of rockets The elves know me as fying young The dwarves know me as zone and in hook stangies and I am known in the north east as guess where he is me star and Oh there may be other names You have not Maybe other names. You have not good names.

So put it, names so brimming with magical power. That I dare not speak them. Okay, don't. When you say feline zeleg and you're a fancy boy voice. My fancy boy. What are you trying to suggest? I'm just saying that the name sounds a lot like feline zelek.

Which doesn't make any sense. But then you pose the feline fiannele. What is your name? Fiannele. Fiannele. Can I admit something? The other day when you left, you said, or a piece of paper,

fell your pocket. And it said secret name biscuit miniscus. Oh Yes, many of the bakers on the realm know me as biscuit miniscus So your names get like the your names get that specific. It's like bakers know you by this shopkeepers know you by this Yes, left-handed people know you by this Okay, fair enough this No, I have a good so I'm wondering though. Why do you say you like It's got the strange little annotation Well, you know what that's a good is interesting you mentioned that I'm sort of thinking about it

And I kind of miss saying who best thank I'm really on the fence. I might go back to Huba Stank, because I feel like Feline said. Let's ask all those Arnie fans out there, which one they prefer. Yes, email me at Magic Tavern at puppies.supplies. If you think I should stick with Feline's Alec until it gets funny, or go back to Huba Stank, which everybody loves. And if you're the biggest Arnie fan that there is, by Arnie's t-shirt, whoops, there isn't one

But you know what? Enough about me enough about you use the door today is chun's day. It's Chun for red October. Yeah, baby and we have some guests here to kind of help people understand Mm-hmm the plight of vampires These are the actual these are the two vampires. I met them several years ago These are the two vampires that inspired me to start Chunt for October because I met them. They were looking very sort of thin and pale and I thought more so than vampires. Oh yeah, because my understanding is most vampires are kind of, but they kind of let me know

about their story and that they didn't really have time to hunt for blood and so this is, they're the people who inspired this. So I want you guys to meet this is Chip and Bippy Von Pierre. Hello. Hello. Hey guys. Hello. I'm here.

Hello. I'm here. Hi, you guys, you have a magnetizing, almost hypnotic stare. That's because we're vampires. Oh. So you guys don't feed on human blood? No. No, that is too harsh.

We are too busy with our activities. What are some of your activities? Well, at night we like to go out for a nice yachting. Wine tasting. Wine tasting? Croquet. Croquet? Kite making and cut fly

badminton oh and it's always a bad order cut making and then and then cut fly oh yeah of course don't fly the cut before you make it aren't it? and if I fail to mention the vampires are they're extremely

wealthy they're one of the wealthiest families in the food yes we're the 1% of the vampires why do you need help that can you not buy blood then instead of do you? Why do you need this charity? If we bought the blood, we wouldn't be so wealthy. Now what do we?

Chun, how did you meet the vampires? I was walking and I was going to the forest to talk to this Meg to get something off his list. And these two, they fell out of the trees. They fell. Yeah two they fell out of the trees They were like, yeah, they like jumped out of the trees and fell and they're like, blay And I was like, oh like here we go. I'm about to be bitten. Uh-huh points of clarification. Did they fall or did they jump? Was it intentional or did they just sort of Happazably bit bit bit be seem like jumped. Chip seem like he just straight up fell. I started up fell.

I was trying to jump, but then I got scared because, you know, heights are very high. So then it was straight up fall. I saw very high. Yes. Different things, me different things. But so they sort of, I thought it was an ambush, but they were just trying to, just trying to meet new people. I think they're maybe swingers, so I think they just trying to see you know if there's if I was interested maybe joining in that night

So they're just very conversational and I let them know that they look very palad they look very you know unhealthy And they were saying how they just didn't have time because they're very busy To to drink blood so I was like well I have some free time. Let me try and get some blood free Yeah, and Sean has been very helpful for us. He gets us blood and then we don't have to worry about it. So before that, how did you get blood? Would you kill? Did you have you killed a lot of people?

I mean, we all vampire. Yeah, I have killed three people. No. In what ways have you, do you? I know that Chant sometimes I'd like to talk about. He had that life is behind him. But can you talk about the three people you go? It's alright.

Well, the first kill I ever had, I was trying to jump out of a tree again, but I got scared and accidentally landed on a young child. Oh no! Fortunately, he was very big. He was very big, so I bounced off of him and I land on to an old man Yeah, see it was full of blood and I bounced off and I knocked an old man down and he broke his neck and so much old man Yes, I took him to the hospital as quickly as I could be died before we got there. Oh one Yes, what was the second one? Oh the second one was this was the second one was new to kill the child and the grandfather Oh no the child lived oh good. Yes. Yes for 15 years and then he did die

I count that as a kill You're counting that as a kill because it was delayed But you but it had something to do with you following him It's to stuff so he could never run as quite a fast ever again And he got so large that he died of a bad heart. Can you tell us the this is Maybe my favorite part of this story The sound that you made when you bounced off the kid on to the old man the sound the diameter the sound the boy met The sound that it that actually it was like I was in the tree and it's like just in the tree

I was like And then I was like Yes, the last is there a little fart at the end is a classic vampire bounce the part where you were a little farted at the end is there? The part was all mine, I got scared. And so then what was the third death? The third death was... The third death was... Classic wrong place, wrong time.

I was riding a horse very fast at night. It's one of my many activities that I now quite enjoy. But you know, I was just riding too fast and I knocked over a very, very bad man. He was a thief. You know what a thief is. He's stealing money. He's stealing money. Yes. And then we got into a bit of an altercation. And then, well, then Bippy showed up. Hello. And hello, I said that those the first time I ever met Bippy and I eyes and I know we tore that man apart.

Wow, then from there. It's beautiful. Wow. The Bippy you've murdered hundreds. How was people there? Yes. Maybe give us like a greatest hits, like your two or three favorite

Well, a female vampire doesn't kid in town She doesn't even seem to even tell me oh wow Now chip I see that you're easily frightened look but I must admit to you you vampires may know me better as Antony don't walker Antony dog walker don't walker May no me better as Anthony Don Walker Anthony dog Walker Don Walker When you walk your dog early in the morning, we walk our dog we have oh we have two Poodles we have two bottles they're very cute. Oh, I see them in the corner of the tavern. Arnie you probably can't Is it okay to bring them in here? Oh? I don't, I don't see any. But you have never experienced true joy.

I have, I have seen someone die. I have not seen someone die. You have never experienced true joy? I have experienced true joy when I got married to my wife, when my, especially when I was a baby, I was she, I met her. I love wife. My wife and daughter are back in earth and I can't get back to my own home dimension.

I'm sorry. How do you swing without a wife? We would love to see her. He does all right. Trust me. He gets around. No! No! I really love my life. This is highly unorthodox, but we are vampire swingers. And usually we like married couples, but if you'd like to swing with a random

Bar made or whatever possibly use a door Maybe's been making some eyes. Yeah, maybe's been really I Sorry chip you had to find out this way I'm not mad, you had to find out this way Um I'm not mad, uh, I just wish it Him? The dog walker? The dawn walker! The vampires know me as Antony dawn walker!

Sorry, I don't know you as anything What, what, when did this happen? Well, a female vampire never kisses until either Female vampires actually tell very little. Not so useful in a podcast. I can tell you that Usador is known as Honey Bunny. That's a honey bunny in the US. Some of these names do not have much power.

Usador, the vampires, we have very open. And I don't want to make it seem weird between us. So as vampire tradition is, you've slept with my wife. And now I shall sleep with you as well. Oh please, you said please. That's so sweet. Arnie, I don't know if you know, like you said, swingers are really open in vampires,

winners for you, especially. You can tell chips wearing a turtle neck and no pants. So it's a good. Oh yeah, very just sort of like can you not see under the table I can stand up no no no that's fine that's fine yes go ahead and stand up okay here we go

ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah It's this relationship. Isn't it cute? It's cute. Look at it. Look at it. Dangle that. It's so sweet. Ah, my wooden stake. Oh, but I'm talking about, oh, sorry. I have a wooden stake. Oh, yes, it's here in my journal neck.

Oh, yes. Why do you carry a wooden stake? Wow, it seems dangerous. Oh, yes, I know. But here's the thing about me. I realize that to really confront a death, you have to be close to death. You have to understand that by holding death in your hands.

So you always keep it, wouldn't stay wrapped around my neck right above my heart. Oh, is it like a sex thing? Yeah. Yes it is. Now, have you never, you've never had to kill another vampire with your state? Oh my God.

What would happen if a vampire killed another vampire? I couldn't even you'd have to go to vampire courts. It's so worse court in the entire lab It would be like a night court like a nighttime court. Yes, it's a good night. I just night. Why are you looking so? I mean I'm just thinking about Night court. It just brings back some great memories for me I'm just thinking about Nightcourt. It just brings back some great memories for me Nightcourt is just a sort of wacky court where Harry Anderson you know Harry Anderson Oh, there's a

Hearty Yeah, she's a vampire and he takes care of everything. He's friends and bear with me He's friends with with a bull with an actual bull. Wow. Is he a big fan of the velvet fog? I don't know. No, yes, actually he is. The Velvet Fog does often come to the Night Court. The fog does cover all of the buildings, so you cannot see it. Wow.

Yes. It's a very scary court, even for a vampire. You know, you go there, you have to wait in a long line. This is the very root. You get judged. I only went for the small infraction ones and I don't want to go back for something big like my other. What's the infraction? Bb is it the right time I tell them?

Yes, graffiti. I was a punk van by about 30 years ago. And I started spraying up with a, I made a concoction with blood. I would just spray walls with it. And I wrote, eat my butt. Oh, people. Wonderful. People didn't like it.

I love when you laugh, El Siddor. I love what you laugh. You said a word. I have a question for you. Is it like... Is it scary to have sex with a vampire? You better believe it! It's terrifying!

What a compliment. You feel like your life is at the very precipice for at any moment you may strike. Oh! Bite into you and take your very life from me. Transforming you into a creature of the light! Oh, that's my bitty. Now, bitty, I have a question.

I don't know if this is something that a lady vampire doesn't tell, but. What could try? But, like, was there any chance that you were going to kill you, Sedona? Like, is it the kind of thing where you're like, I'm going to have sex with this wizard, and I'm going to decide whether I'm going to kill him or not?

I think that's a question. I think, yes, we're always thinking about killing someone. I mean, I've thought about killing you at least 10 times. Oh, oh, okay. I mean, but luckily you don't do, you don't, as far as I understand, you don't do that anymore, right? No, we can. I mean, young sting, go for it.

Now, the beauty of the chant for red October is how half of the blood that you want without any burden. Oh, it's very nice. I mean, it's killing is very, it is very enticing. I mean, the thing with murdering for blood is there's a lot of cleanup. Yes. But Sean puts them in these cute little jars.

Oh my gosh, you can take them on the go. If you want to go and you get hungry, you just have a little snack on you. Afterwards, you can clean them out and deco-push them. I mean, they are really very cute. Shant how do you make this one? Shant how do you make this small containers? I don't know. The potteries or what are these? Yeah they're a while I blow glass and then I infuse the glass with scales with dragon scales so just has a nice sort of sheen to it where it different it catches the light at different angles and I thought that was dragon scales. An art is truly important. And

the jars are great with a lot of a lot of richer vampires will wear them. They'll wear the faces of the men from the north. So they're they're close or you know any coats they wear are these north faces. Uh-huh. I've done this. We are. But it's sort of a sign like if you're wealthy you kind of you kind of wear the faces of the north and that lets people know like oh they got money. Yes I got three different faces of the North. Oh yeah sounds disgusting. Oh no it's very nice. I get you one I have so many the goddess, the goddess, the goddess, the goddess, I know so quickly I just need to get new ones every year. If you want one, I already have to be very happy. Do you have one big enough for him? I can staple two together. Oh no it's's okay. I'm not worried about it.

I put on a little bit of weight, it's all right. The food here is fantastic. I assume I can't eat it. I'm sorry. Oh, and he ever thought of a blood diet. I haven't. You should eat it. I mean, I'm gonna leave you just a diet.

No. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. All right. Oh.

I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I've been, I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, After a brief hiatus and I appreciate that for all that I do for him. So here is the Vermillion Minotaur's free rumor of the week. Our very own blemish has opened up a cat orphanage in the back alley behind the Vermillion Minotaur. People who are interested in adopting a cat please come by anytime on Sunday between 3 and 6 and blemish will greet you at the kitchen door. If you'd like to hear another free rumor, all you have to do is purchase one ale at the Vermilion Minotaur any day of the week and our weight staff will provide for you.

A million minutes or up right at the base of Mixing of Shane Forest. And we're back with Chant for the Red October. You help more than just vampires with this, right? You also mentioned that Goblin's Drink Blood... Did I? Yeah, I remember the first time you mentioned, like, what are all the blood drinking creatures of food? Or some of...

We got vampires, you got goblins you have Now goblins don't The way bab they enjoy blood, but it's not the only thing. It's a good mixer. It's a good mixer Goblins can eat other things they can eat eyeballs they can eat bones Vampires can eat eyeballs or bones yeah, blood grandma's Chupa cabras enjoy blood now cord housewives Line question I was wondering if maybe I

Be one bubble a little bit, but I don't want to eat I Okay, do you need a certain sure certain I would prefer a middle-age person Okay, well, I took some blood from Arnie when he's sleeping. What you want some of his blood? Oh, yes I wasn't going to drink it but what the hell are you not drinking your shot? I got a But what the hell are you not drinking your shot? I'm not gonna be good Oh my god Oh my god

Is this because of the Snickers disgusting? What the hell? Take care of yourself please Have you ever eaten a piece of fruit in your life? Yes, this is sludge I mean there's a lot of weird chemicals in the foods from my world So maybe I guess that protects me from vampires Chemicals, what's a chemical chemical I think of the alchemist one of the skills of the

wizard to turn materials and other materials on their world they have scientists that do this for a liby. Oh, Earth is very strange. Yeah, and Arnie I just want to apologize I disnick into your room in the middle of night. I Wapped you in the nose with a book Collected all the blood that came out. I wondered why I woke up with a bloody nose last week That's how most of the blood is collected for truck for red October really from the nose Mm-hmm, and while people are sleeping, I'm playing on to them. I so wait a second so the blood drive is not It's it's not voluntary. No

I mean It's mostly a you know a chunt like a hunt for blood So you sneak up on people you hunt them and you Onnie I think the important part is no one dies. Yeah, that's sure. That is a very good point No, that's a shared well, I have a sort of a vampire question very good point. You know that's a shared well I have a sort of a vampire question. Well it was. Bippy, were you always a vampire? Were you some were you turned into a vampire at some point? I don't know if vampires are different in food than they are in my world. A lot of questions. Were you always ravishing? Oh Bippy, answer the men. Well I was turned into a vampire. Oh, wow.

Yes, I was by my father. By your father? Who was a vampire? No, it wasn't that far. So then was your father always a vampire? Or was he turned? Oh, Ahni, I forgot to ask. Oh.

But um, Chip and I actually don't have any children yet. We do not, we've tried so many times, we've tried twice during the break. After during the break, you tried twice, that was a very long break. Well, I was to tell you the truth, Uso Doa kind of put me in a state. Uso Do, you have to come over very much more often. Come over right after. And Arnie, I don't know if you could see it. They were having intercourse right here at the table

But it's so fast. It's just so super fast super fast. Would you like to see it now? I mean I'm going to need a Another shot of our knees foot. No, no, but it's kids bad. I know but hey that was so good. I need something to even it out My blood is like the molota Let's go worry. Yes, I don't know what is but this tastes like that brown you it lets oh what's used to know Come over later this evening slow things out of it Explore your beautiful vampiric body.

Take you to hide some X to see. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, Chip sits in the corner and cries. Wow, look at Biscuit Maniscus laying down. Oh, wow. Chip, how do you feel about that? I would love to be made into a cacold. I have a, this is less of a vampire question than like a swinger question.

Is it ever awkward or like, like you two seem to be very much in love and you seem to be both into your swinging, but does it ever get stressful? Does it cause stress in the relationship? Well, Olli, here's the thing that you might not understand, given the way you treat yourself. But we're very beautiful people. Yes, we have to share this with you. There's but we're very beautiful people. We have so few problems as beautiful people. I have seen. Why deny people, the glory of these two beautiful vampires?

Yes. Yeah, they may be dark creatures of the night, but yet they shine like bright diamonds in the sun. Oh, I'm not a fan of vampires that shine like diamonds in the sun. So can vampires go out in the sun. Oh, I'm not a fan of vampires that shine like diamonds in the sun So can vampires go out in the sun in in food? They're different I mean an earth there a lot of different rules for we can but we need to wear a big hat Because the sun if it hits our head then that's what really gets us. Oh your hair. Yes, it's vampire hair

So then what happens to your vampire hair? It sizzles off and we look ugly. Oh, you don't want that. No Can you imagine a vampire in a wig? I can't imagine that to be goofy. Chip, what were you doing? Listen to the fact that you're imagining a vampire makes me happy. That's all I can think about, right? Oh, after you're done with Bibi, you'll sit there. If you want us to go around.

I might go for it. It's fair enough, but Chip, what were you before you want us to go around. I'm Michael Foam. That's fair enough, by the way. Chip, what were you before you were a vampire? Me? I was a baby. You were a baby? Yes, I was born in the doctor. We didn't know, but what's a vampire?

Bits me on the way out. On the way out? Yes. Literally like seconds into life. Yeah, like I was bit, like my head poked out, and then my neck, and then he bit the neck, and then the rest of me came out. You know now that that you mentioned it you do kind of look like a giant baby Oh, you're not a baby size

Oh, but you do look like a giant baby The dimensions yes, I know my head is much bigger than my body. It looks uh, it's beautiful Yeah, very much, um, but uh, yeah, my skin, I feel my skin Oh, it may be dead, but it's very small Wow, it's fair, it's cold but soft Yeah, very much. But my skin, I feel my skin. Oh, it may be dead, but it's very small. Wow, it's cold, but soft. Thank you very much. If you really want to know how my body works, you can come to one of me and Bippies gathering.

Yeah, they have a key parties. Uh-huh. And how does that work? You bring a skeleton key, and you write your name on it. And you throw it in a bowl. And then we each reach it and we grab it. And if you grab a name, it is not your own. Take that person into whatever dungeon door

that that skeleton key opens. And you mix with the passionate love. But if you grab the key with your own name, you immediately burst into flames. It's very dangerous. It's dangerous. But it's kind of the thrill. It's kind of like a key.

Oh, that's why I wear the steak around my neck. I want I love love and I love having passion and sex. But I also like to know that I could be killed. Now has a skeleton ever come one of these parties? Yes. There was one time where skeleton did put his femur in there and then I drew it. I went right for it. I knew that it wasn't a key. I knew it was a femur and let me say it wasn't bad. He was bone. Debye. So, Chant, how do you feel like Chant for the ReactOber is going this year? I think it's going really well. Obviously we had to toss out your sample but, it feels like everyone else is getting what they need. If you're going to toss that out, we'll use it for a spell.

Great, here you go. Is this a spell that you're trying to do? Don't worry about it. Is it going to affect me in any way? Because my blood is saluting. Oh, we'll talk about that later. Let me get to some of my emails here. These are emails I received at chantadjima.com.

That's chant with six teas. This is from Sarah Nevisin. She says, hey, chant, greetings teas. This is from Sarah Nevesen. She says, hey chant, greetings from the other world. Just a few questions. One, would you have any interest in relationships with a human? I guess, unless it's Arnie. And two, would you ask Arnold if he would be traveling around any more of Foon on day trips out to neighboring villages and towns? Keep up your amazing work best wishes, Sarah. Are you gonna be traveling around to any more food

in the other neighboring villages or towns? You know, I have decided that, I mean, I've been exploring Hogs face, but I should be less sedentary, and obviously I wanna be back here every week for the podcast, but I'm gonna try to do more day quests and explore the local towns and areas. You must come and visit us.

On how many months? I don't. That's very nice. I may. I have to admit, just I'm a little frightened of vampires. I hope you don't take that personally. We do take it personally. How will we not take that personally?

I don't fear enough. Roode. They're your pyres. They're not going to hurt you. OK. They're young urban vampires. Yeah. We've got a hit. Do you have any vampires. Yeah, we're about to hit.

Do you have any other emails? I'll do one more here. This is from Patrick Hannon. It says, Hi Chant, I have a question that's really more for Yusador, but I don't feel like twatting at them. Also Arnie Neekamp's email address sounds fake. Let's see here. Anyway, why doesn't Yusador include Dail, Sprinkle sleeves, and his standard introduction?

I think it's one of his better names, and skipping over probably pisses off wedding planers, right? Like they don't even matter. It's not one of the names that is well known, obviously there's a smaller contingency of wedding planners than they always say, elves an entire race of beings. So I honor them for elves maybe wedding planners, they may know me by both names. Just as these vampires here know me as Yusador, and they also know me as Antony, Don Walker. Don Walker.

Don Walker. So I got a couple of emails to Magic Tavern at puppies. That supplies. Are any of those emails about me making love to the team? No, although we sometimes do get emails about people having a crush on you, Yusador. It's a big deal. Yeah, we also get ones of people

that seem to really are interested in in Chuck. But this one is actually about Otock. Someone wrote in Good Evening, I'm curious if I find my way to fune would Otock like to go on a date, I'm quite cute and incredibly sweet. I'll be happy to send pics. Nothing risque, of course. Smiley face. Don Smith. What is human risque? Like for us, risque is so far out there. Yeah, I Really varies on the internet. It can get a little crazy. I would just have we'll see for new listeners O-Talk

Barley foot is the owner of the Vermilion Minotaur. He's He's a widower. He's a he's a sweet guy. He's very, he's mostly obsessed with trying to find his daughter. He's over there behind the box. Hey, Otak. We're talking about you. We're talking about you, Otak. But you know what? I mean, I don't know if it's wise to encourage people to send us pictures, but if you do, don't send risque ones, unless you want to tweet them at Yusador the Blue.

Feel free to send any risque pictures to... Oh I will. Magic Tava, not puppies, that's all. No. Alright, let's see, I've got one more email here. Hello Arnie, for the past two nights I have had a recurring dream. In it, I am with you Yusador and Chant at the Vermilion Minotaur. Together although in the dream it is always Yusudor doing the majority of the work, of course.

We discovered that a bunch of the unwed mothers actually have a shrine to the dark Lord and the basement of the tavern. My concern is that it isn't a dream but a prophecy. I am traveling to Chicago next week for work And while I love the podcast, I am legitimately worried I might get pulled through some mystical vortex and get stuck in food Like you I have a wife and kids two kids actually unlike you I would hate to be separated from them. Oh come on. I can't cancel. I can't cancel my trip I am going to avoid Burger Kings

But I was wondering if there is anything else I should do to avoid your fate while in the windy city. Also has anyone checked the basement. Thanks, Patrick from Northern Virginia. Whoa, he used to go just took off. Use it or, I would say, I guess avoid Burger King's. I mean, I don't really know how it happened besides that I went through the drive through at a Burger King

and myself and my Toyota Camry got pulled through a dimensional portal into FUN. Oh, you used to run it back here. Oh. You used to run, or was there anything in the basement? Uh, just a bunch of our old signs for the familiar minotaur. Oh. They take them down, they make a new one every Tuesday, so the weather doesn't down. Oh, that's really, if it's good to know the unwed mothers aren't up to anything.

And there are some candles surrounding a pentagram. I'm worried about it. Typical food stuff. I love it, I love it. That sounds like a Tuesday. Well, Chip and Dippy, thank you so much for being here and joining us. Thank you for having us.

And, and, Sean, thank you so much for this charity work. It's a little weird, but it's great that you're doing it. Try and help people. And thank you for helping to promote it. I and help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to help people. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, You got a little on you. Oh, don't I me here in the kitchen just making a delicious autumn pie? Hmm, let's see, half a stick of butter, four-court apples. Oh, and a heaping tablespoon of none of that really happened. Use it or the blue is just math young, either whispering or shouting. Chant the shape-shifter is just Adlerify, working his way through a variety of issues.

O'Talk Barley Foot was portrayed by Nick Bear. The strange swinging vampire couple was played by Jeff Murdock and Joe Scott. Check out their videos together at seriouslyunprepared.com. And follow them on Twitter at JS Murd and at Joe Scott with four T's. Hmm, no Twitter account for the video series, that collaboration has an expiration date on it. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Jacover and Ryan DeGeorgie, edited by Ryan DeGeorgie, music by Andy Poland. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBam. Learn more about the show and ascertain for yourself that there's no possibility it could be actually occurring.

At hellofromthemagictavern.com or follow us on Twitter at MagicTavron. Oh, I just had the random thought that I was ordered to tell you about buying assorted MagicTavron shirts at magictavron.mrberties.com. What fun! This entire festive seasonal partially fleshed out sound scape was brought to you by MakeSpace, with help from the Chicago Podcast Co-op. Visit MakeSpace.com and use the promo code Chicago50 to get $50 of free storage and visit the Chicago Podcast Co-op at ChicagoPodcastCo-op.com. While you're at it, who are we kidding?

There's no one waiting up for you? Visit eSportsPlus.me, where you can play for free using the promo code HuBusStack. Wouldn't it be fun to just go to eSportsPlus.me and type that in, go try it and see. I'll wait. And happy chont for red October everyone. This is what we've come to.