Hello From The Magic Tavern - 43 - Sharks

Episode Date: January 1, 2016

This week I meet two Sharks, but only one of them is a literal shark. I mean I GET IT, but it still seems more confusing than it needs to be.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungLouis A. Shark: John Patrick CoanLois, a shark: Jen JacksonMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is not real, but it is really sponsored by Iron Galaxy. Scream like a school kid with capsule force, an intergalactic retro anime multiplayer come. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magicalical Land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie Neekham. If you haven't listened to the podcast before, this is what's going on. About 8 or 9, I don't remember months ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King into the Magical Land of Foon.

Luckily I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal, I think through the dimensional portal from the Burger King and I used that to upload a podcast that I record every week here in the taverns of a million minotaur in the town of Hogsface in land of phone and I am joined as always by my co-host Shunt the Talking Badger. Oh yeah baby hey Shunt it's good to see you. Milk your mouse. What's that? It's a saying milk your mouse. Milk your mouse is that a food a food saying? Yeah it it's just like, you know If you're gonna get at someone you just say like I'm gonna milk your mouse. You're gonna get at someone I don't want to talk about this. You don't want to talk about food stuff?

All right, and my other I am you know wizard of the twelfth realm of a fesiest master of light and shadow manipulator of magical delights devourer of chaos, champion of the great halls of Turakus! The Ovesnomius fear in yellow, the dwarvesnomius zoning in hook stangies, and I am known in the northeast as gasmwyneus mastar, and there may be other secret names you do not know yet. An Arnold has been trapped here for 11 months! 11 months, really?

Yes. Ah, wow. So, I've been almost been a here for 11 months. 11 months, really? Yes. Wow. So it's almost been a year. Very good. Very good, very good. Well done. We're really proud of you. Have you been taking secret math lessons?

Yes. I actually have been filling my time trying to do a little bit of exercise because I'm working my way up. I'm in pre-training to do a little dungeon crawling. I'm gonna get that lunar sword. Okay. I don't see any progress yet. Look, it's a slow, it starts slow.

I'm, you know, I'm training myself. Well, training is probably not the right word. What's your, Regimen? In the morning when I get up, I do a couple crunches Okay, seems like you're really searching for what you've been doing a couple more than two less than ten and It's like here's the thing I try to do one more every day and these are crunches as in it's crunch time Oh a little bit like yeah, basically, it's like a sit-up. What kind of actually it's a good question. What is

Funian exercise in general? I think just living life. Staying on life. Yeah. Not being murdered. Yeah. Around every quarter. Running from creatures.

Yeah. Yeah. That's true. It's weird that I have been living that life and it has that no effect on my physique. How do you guess that you've been living that life? I stay close to the Vermilion Minotaur for once. Yes So you're not living that life. Yeah, you eventually know where you've done nothing you've accomplished not

But I am working on changing that it's a new year and I'm a slowly One crunch at a time and closer to venturing out more I don't know if you have this on earth But when someone says they're working on changing it, that's what we call bullshit. Oh, yeah, because it's either you either you either do it or you don't do it. It's you know to say you're working on changing it. You know, I'm saying, Chant, you're a good friend. You're a good friend.

What do you been up to, Chant? A lot of offices and bosses. My character just leveled up. Oh, that's right. That's the that's the role playing game. Yeah, I'm very excited. Dan Smith just leveled up because I took a an 85 minute lunch break. Nobody noticed. So I got a I got a wow level up. Yeah. Yeah, I just can't get into that game as much. No, you guys love it. It's wonderful. Yeah. I mean part of it is that you don't play it is what's really thrilling about it You're a good friend chat. Hey, you know what? Let's talk to our guests. Yeah. Oh a Grimhoof and I murdered a shadow demon

But we don't need to talk about that. Yeah, that sounds boring Hey, I'm very excited about I'm excited slash terrified about our guest here It's lowest and shark Explorers like Funian explorers. Yes., yes. Funion explores for the Royal Funish Navy. Wow, and it's worth mentioning to our listeners that one of you is a shark. That's me, Lois. Oh, wait, hold on.

So wait, so it's Lois and Shark. Yes, but Lois is a shark. I am a shark. I am a human, as you can see. And your name is... He's not getting this, is he? He doesn't get a lot of things. Oh, very cool.

I have a fin. Yeah, no, no. I'm a shark. No, absolutely. My friend Don met one of your kind. Oh, which one? He's Don, the trans-dimensional delivery man. Well, which shark?

Yeah. Sounds nice. I have to say you're the friendliest development. Well, with Shark. Yeah. That sounds nice. I have to say you're the friendly as Shark that I've ever met. Oh, thank you, yeah. That's great. I think that's a very rude thing to say to Lewis. Yes, I mean, I didn't take it personally, but a little part of me was very offended by, I mean, I'm a very nice person.

Yes, you seem very nice. I think you're the nicest shocks I've ever met. Oh! That is very nice. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. I found that most people who have to say they're a very nice person usually don't turn out to be a very nice person. I feel like I was first attacked for not being a nice person

and then merely commented that I'm a pleasant person. You are a very pleasant person. You don't get to be the captain of your own ship in Fune without being a nice guy. So okay, and I- Check it out. I'm trying not to descend into who's on first territory here. And to watch, I'm sorry? Ah, boy, I don't want to talk about earth stuff.

But so- Watch who's on first. Lewis. Your name is Lewis. My name is Lewis A. Shock. Captain of the Admiralty Board in the Funush Navy. Wow. And Lois. Lois.

You are a shark. A shark. Yes. By birth. By birth, that's fantastic. Well, you don't say, uh, we say A shark. You didn't, you didn't become a shark later on in life.

You've always been a shark. I've always, from the day I can remember being around will your parents both sharks What an interesting story I know they met at school. Oh, okay My the only one that has ever been confused by this Lewis a shark and Lois who is a shark? Yes, I think so this is definitely a first for us everyone just roll within immediately I'm sorry. What's so. This is definitely a first for us. Everyone just rolls it within immediately. I'm sorry? What's the first for you?

This is a first for us. Who? Do you need us to dump any water on you? Is that a real question? That would be great. We've got a little bucket. There's a chum bucket in the water. Oh, got you here.

Let me just give you a little splash here. There you go. There you go. Thank you. And if periodically we could continue to do so I don't want to lowest to dry up. Yo absolutely. Yes. I'm more confused about that than your name say How did you become a shark who lives out of water? That's a funny story It actually has to do with this guy over here in his 29th 29th day. So, is this 29-wink or real 29th?

29-wink. Oh, yes, it's so. In reality, I was 30, 40 at the time, yes. When I set off on my quest to a circumnavigate fune, I must admit, I was rudeless. I did not know where to start. Luckily, my man, thinking it would be funny, caught me a shark that I could mount on my cabin wall. Little did I know, I would meet a person who would become one of my best friends in the

world. You call me a person. To me you are. That's nice. But you are a shark. You are, I am lowest. You cannot be more clear about that? Everyone is a person. Whether you're an elf, a dwarf, a shark, a pixie,

a tree, a tree, a flower. Everyone's a person. A human can be a person. Yeah. Low is just a person that needs a tank of water to survive. That's right. And so on the ship, we would keep low as in a tank of water. I see. So Lewis

How does it feel to be away from water? What kind of like time frame are we dealing with it safe? Well, I've got about I'd say 45 minutes is my average. I can go 90. I can go 90 but other than she cannot go 90. I cannot go 90. I went 90 one time. It was it was almost a disaster. My skin went 91 time. It was almost a disaster. My skin starts flaking. It was 90-way. You'll see. You know, there were about 15 years. I told everyone I was 260.

260-wink. 260-wink, exactly. I just couldn't deal with the fact that I was getting older than that. Sure. Do you have them on Earth? Do you have people kind of pretending they're younger than there?

Mm-hmm. Why do you? The strange way to... Do you have them on earth? Do you have people kind of pretending they're younger than there? Why do you? The strange way to Let us turn all our focus on Arnold. No, well, let's do know how we'll do you are. I, his eyes darted about the room when he did that. Look, we've got a really young listenership who's just thinks that I'm a hip-yung dude, you know? I, hey kids, I don't know. I kids. I don't believe I'm just like you I don't recall a single email

Where anyone has said hey, Arnold what's a young dude? Well, I want to learn a little bit more about your your explorations Lewis a shark mm-hmm. So what What how does exploring food? How's it going well as we all know, if we see a map of food, it's just a piece in the middle and Queen Tatania wanted to know what's the end bits all about. You know what's all about the end bits? I like to know where her end bits are all about. Oh, yeah. Bing Bogn and Dee, you would have done very well well on the ship on the expedition. Oh, thank you. Now I think the thing that you're most well known for

I at least for a moment of you would be your discovery of the Delta of Xinyang Mm-hmm. Oh That was a big discovery very important discovery. Oh, that was you guys. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. What was the name of that Delta again? The Delta of Shiong! How do you spell that? SHE Apostre Y-O-N-G. Oh, fantastic. Shion Delta, yes. Yeah.

The Delta, it was actually deadly to navigate. But we had a secret weapon. Oh, tell us more. A shiong. Oh. Ah! They had actually already navigated the Delta. Who was that? This is the best part. Yes, it was Lois. Oh, wonderful. Yep. I discovered that Delta as a young, a young little guy. So yeah, I figured most

of the sharks I know usually they go southwest, but you went to the Delta. Yep, I went north. East. Okay. To the Delta. Well, I'm just glad you guys are united in this endeavor. Where are you smiling? I don't know. Earth people are loving it. Yes, we were definitely a team. I mean, as everyone who knows me knows, I don't do maps. Maps that confuse me, you know, what's what's east. You know, what is east? That's a wonderful philosophical question. So having shock aboard the ship was perfect in being able to navigate through the waters of the Delta. Now the most important thing to remember is the natives did not want us in the Delta. Yes, we battled, we had fierce fights. Shock actually had to turn against her own people.

It was um, I don't actually really talk about it, but it was um, it was hard. Please, this is the time. Yeah, I can't tell if she's crying or if she's just expelling water. I need, can you see me? Oh, there you go. I think that was some shrimp. Oh, whoops, that was the wrong target. That's fine too, right?

Neither that is wrong. Anyways, yeah, so I was a bit of a runaway. Yeah, what was your life like as a shark that led you to prefer the company of humans? That's a good question. I never got along with my shark mom and my shark dad. As I told you, I was born of two sharks. Oh, that's shark terrible. Yeah, yeah, it was shark

terrible. So early on I used to go up to land, probably a little too close to land, I was in adventure, so from forever as well, and I a spied humankind on the shore, and they just seemed like they had a great time, They liked each other's company. Whereas me. Walking around on those, what do you call them again? Legs, legs. Get away. Legs.

Ah, yes. So you're like, I want to go where the people are. Yeah, yes, exactly. I want to go where the people are. Precisely. So when I cut side to this guy, I went up to the ship like a fool. Well, we're partially to blame because for four years before we left on the quest

We had beach parties an anticipation of Leaving to circumnavigate food lowest saw some of the beach parties and Maybe got an inaccurate representation of what human life was like. They had a lot of fun. Can I ask? I don't want to be crass or really presumptuous then think hard before you guys well I'm already on a roll you guys get down you two have some horizontal refreshment you guys my good yeah what's the I mean guys it seems like you guys are banging right I wouldn't put it a gentleman would never I mean but what a shark tell

A gentleman would never but what a shark tell I have I want to hear the shark tail The shark tail. I don't think you miss when I hear the shark tail That's coming gone. I have I have spent some Evenings in the shark. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. So you guys do it in in in the water. Well, it needs to be cleaned and It's very small. So talking about the tank. What's talking about the tank? Okay. Just making sure the tank is very dirty. Sure. She sheds full layers of shock skin Hmm, and so yes, I have some time to time I dip into the tank. Okay, and you know He's got this the scrubber brush and sometimes You know when you're scrubbing and you're brushing listen. There's no need to hide. I mean don't hide no

I know what how it is when you're scrubbing and brushing What is more erotic than scrubbing and brushing? I mean, you know, it's just classic. We work so close together, you know, tell me you've never you've never fallen for a coworker. So would you say you're these two right here? Exactly. Would you say your greatest discovery is love? No, no so can have a very very important So I would love to hear a little more so lowest you had to fight other sharks at the shelter of sheyang. Sheyang. Sheyang. Sheyang. Yeah, I came up against some of my cousins, some of my old neighbors. It was rough.

Oh, your ex-boyfriend, Chris? My ex-boyfriend, Chris. Oh, is he also a shark? Yes, he's a shark. That was my one and only shark thing. Sure. Well, he was a shark. Yeah, he's gone.

He's gone. Oh, what happened? I killed him. Oh, with my mouth with my teeth. Yeah, there was probably closure. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You know, did you feel like you know what? I'm over this relationship now. The only real way to get over someone is to consume their flesh and have them always be a part of you. Yeah That's beautiful. Yeah, you can take the shock out of the water, but the girl, you can't take what I'm saying is that she... Are you do you think when you get back home that you'll wanna kill whoever's serious with?

One, two, sure, what the heck. See, you're crazy. No, first of all, my wife, I, my wife, I'm sure, I haven't been gone that long, I'm sure my wife is still looking for me. It's been 11 months. It's been 11 months, but I'm sure. It's almost a quarter of the time we

said partying on the beach. Yeah. Yeah. Those parties got rock-ass. Yeah. Oh, really? I want to hear more about those parties. Let's actually, let's take a quick break

and let's learn more about your explorations and those parties. This is Otak Barley foot of the Vermilion Minotaur. Here with your free rumor of the week. Rupert has it that there is a potential spice embargo happening in MIGAS, which has very many food, tavern, and innkeepers up in arms and concerned for their spice potato production. That is your free rumor of the week, and that one hits pretty close to home. Come on down to the Vermilion Minotaur.

And please, get yourself some mozzarella wands, bring your grandparents, anybody's welcome at the Vermilion Minotaur. Write the base of Mixingleshane Forest. Okay, so now I'm really curious to learn more about your explorations. Would anyone else like an ale or meat? I'm gonna run to the bar real quick.

Would you like a seven human leg? Oh, well I just have that shrimp earlier, but you know what, yeah. Alright, fine, I'll be right back. Reable please. Reable, yes. After we passed through the Delta, which was probably the toughest leg of the trip. We opened into open ocean. And the open ocean.

What do you mean, tell you? Have any of you spent any significant time on the ocean of food? No. No. Islands galore. Islands that you would not believe. Islands with every type of exotic spice, exotic food. Oh, I believe it.

Yes. Saf barne island wasn't a delightful time. Coconut, I believe it. Yes. Safban Island was a delightful time. Coconut Co. Coconut Co. Yes, we ate coconuts in the co. Wow. It sounded like pretty literal. Did you name these islands?

They all had signs. When we showed up, they all had signs. Very well marked. Very well marked signs and visitor centers. Oh, yes. Coconut Co has a great visitor center. Wow. very well marked very well marked sides and visitor centers oh yes coconut cove has a great visitor center wow can I put a coin and turn a crank and it turns it into a coconut wow a literal coconut or no I'm the coin just a coconut of a coin the aisle of style has shopping galore I mean I bought this this suit

I'm wearing right now wow guess how much was? I don't I don't really have 20 rubies to coconut coins Yes, that's all it costs and they are they are so pleased for the business as well Here's your mead Rainbow bowls Seven human leg You know some water for Arnold. Thank you. I once I was a Would you mind just splashing Yeah, let me take a good quick

Well, she really needs she really needs most of the I'm getting it. All right. She could die. She could die. If I start popping my peas, it's your fault. There you go Thank you. I'm sorry. Chanty was saying oh, I was a seal one time and I swam a little bit into the ocean Not all the way in the open ocean, but I found this island and there's Like this smoke thing. I can't really describe it. Needless to say, the island was severely disappointing. When you were a seal, you were dating

maybe the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. You think so? She was gorgeous, I forget her name. Well, she's very tall. She's very tall. Yeah, very laggy. Very laggy. I feel like when I was a seal,

it's like for some reason, like ladies love seal. Like it's just like I don't have any good seal jokes. No one was asking. What were we doing seal jokes? That was a nice story. I think I was opening up and being vulnerable and then Arnie assumes. But anyway we didn't find whatever islands you're talking about. It must have been lost to us. It's many islands. I mean thousands and thousands of islands. We really did not have time to see them all. We spent the majority of the trip, actually, and the majority of the funds for the trip, having the four years of beach parties, which took up a lot of the gold that Queen Detainia had financed the trip. You have to plan ahead. If you're going on a huge endeavor of a massive trip to discover and explore, then it is critical that your crew is mentally prepared for such an undertaking.

For if you find yourself sad or lonely upon the sea going from island to island what better to lift you up than the memories of a wild beach party. It's true and I mean for many of the people that went on the expedition the beach party was the last good memory because as the expedition continues, crew members would disappear, or we would lose track of them, and we actually came back with, you know, just lost an eye. Really? So what, well, crew members would disappear? You know, in my mind, we would stop at an island, and they would probably be having so

much fun that they would just decide to stay. Wow. But we came back with so much extra food, too. I mean, in all the suits. What do you think, uh, what do you think happens to the others? Oof, that's a good question. So, I'm sorry, you're saying that these crew members disappeared. You thought they went to go live on the island.

They took none of their belongings with them. It's the strangest thing I do. I never could figure it out. Just one of those things. I did read some of those things. We did read I did read some of their journals in a lot of them ended with just a's and then a a a a a a a a a a a a a H. But they were right screaming at the end of I mean, I didn't interpret it as screaming.

I think that that's crass. It could have just been a long sigh. That's how I would also read a sigh. Well, there's also also the great. It could have been in a long sigh. That's how I would also read a sigh. Well, there's also the great it could have been in a piffony. Yes. Ah! An idea. There's also the great explorer Adam Alonzo or a Lio Animo Aiodio. Harris.

Oh, I see. It could have been an homage to him. Yes, oh, yeah. We had a portrait of him on the ship, everyone was a very big fan of him. Sure. Loose you've barely touched your full human look. Yeah, it's um, it's the dark meat and I like the white meat. Oh, well, yeah. What, how, what would you eat on these voyage? Bailey anything.

Yeah, just. I never touched food. Why had a coconut at that one party? She did have a coconut, but he is. I just, you know, I got by. I can shocks, digest a coconut. It was tough, that one hurt. I see.

But I, I made do. Cleaning the tank that night was... Hey, aren't you news of the can we huddle up her? I Think that I think that shark No, no, yeah, yeah, it's like a hundred percent No way, yeah, I think so I'm shocked That you use it or don't see that and that that Lewis doesn't see that. I think we need to help Luke.

I think you are buying into a stereotype. How about sharks? That's correct. And I, for one, am offended! Let's find out. Hey, guys, so Lewis and Lois... Please, what's Lois in shark? No, sorry, Lois in shark.

It tends to get confusing because our first name is so similar. Sure, sure. What's nextis and shock? Oh, sorry Lois and sure tends to get confused in cuz our first names are so similar sure sure What's next what's next for you to are you gonna stay away from people in general and just like Sale as the two of you Recruitment posters up. We're getting the whole group back together. We continue with so pleased with our performance that she's Financing a second round of the expedition. Was she not upset that so there was so much death on your, or so many disappearances on your last expedition? I mean, these are just crew members.

I mean, these are, you know, most of them didn't even have names. They didn't have names. No, I didn't even know their names. Oh, sure. Run. Do you know how expensive a name is? I'm sorry?

Run? Oh yes. Trust me, I will be running the expedition. Oh, yeah. I will have complete control of who we take and the beach party, the guest bliss. Do you know how expensive a name is? No.

It's very expensive. Not everyone has a name. Oh my. How much is a cost to get a name? I was four or five rupees. Yeah. Or at least I would say that converts about three coconut coins. Wow.

You want to buy a name otherwise you'll end up like. Yeah. Exactly. And you know what I'm doing end up like him. You're sure? Yeah. Sure. I'm just, I'm not going to toy.

I'm not going to toy. You're not going to toy? You're not going to toy. I'm not gonna toy I'm not gonna You're not gonna toy you're not going to toy I'm not gonna be coy about this. I'm just gonna come out and say it lowest ice Did you eat all those people? I'm so sorry for Those were my friends. Oh Yeah, think about it Lewis your shark lovers been eating everyone I'm sorry what she has mean, it's who she is. What? She is a person, okay?

But she's a person. You said all back me up here. Everyone can be a person. But also a person, a shark is a shark. Yeah, if I may, you know that island I was talking about earlier. Yes. I was on that island for about like seven seasons. We have like six seasons in the Russia.

Yeah, I was on there. I was on for about seven seasons, I think. And the first couple seasons were great. And the last few seasons were fucking terrible. And I realized, you know what, I need to cut my losses and I need to leave this island, right? You need to leave this island. She's playing you, man.

This is all just, I mean, we've been bosom buddies and inseparable friends I've never heard that phrase now now now Let's let's put this all for us Lewis. I understand that you upset please shark shark. I understand that you upset Lois I think it would be best for all of us. We heard it directly from you. Yes, Lois Well, I'll say. Did you eat our crew? I'll say this. A shark never sleeps. But at night, a shark becomes sleepy.

And sometimes in the night, I would do things and I would wake up and not, well I wasn't asleep, but I wouldn't, I would never have eaten you. Did you ever do it while I was in the tank as well? It was one time. There it is. You were drunk on coconut rub. And what was his, he didn't have a name, but... He wouldn't have had a name the boy with the one eye oh I caught him Mike well you shouldn't have because he didn't pay for that name you baby them and so I swallowed Mike and then you can't pretend like you didn't know because Mike You can't pretend like you didn't know because Mike had that earring and you found it and you wore it through your nose. Well, I guess I would be lying if I said I didn't suspect that this was going on on my ship, under my nose.

Thank you, John. Look, sometimes when you love somebody, and there are things you don't like about them, you're willing to overlook them, or maybe you don't want to acknowledge them, even though you know on some level that it's true. You know what? You're right. Lois,

I think that I can live with what you've done. And if you would do me the honor, we just take this out of my nose. Would you make me the happiest shark in all of the ocean? He's putting his nose ring on a fan, that is gross. Yes, yes, a million times yes This is the happiest day of my life. Wow, congratulations. Thank you so much. I don't think she did it Well, Lois and Shark congratulations good luck. Thanks. Um, what does the future hold? Are you gonna the two of you?

Stay away from people and just do the expedition we'll get a crew together and we'll go out and see. So you're just gonna be a more knowing accomplice to the death of your entire crew. Yes, I mean we'll take precautions and make sure none of them have names. Oh, have you considered recruiting children? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No, there's already enough shout-out to them. We'd save a lot of food and alcohol for the beach parties if they're all children. I mean those children are going to die anyway. Oh boy.

Alright, well, hey, why don't we, well, answer an email here. If you would like to email me, you can always email me at magiccavernatpuppies.supplies. And you can email me at chunt.adjmail.com. That's chunt with 60s. And you can contact me on quarterton by using at usador the blue or you can see with an acorn under your pillow. Put that acorn into a salad, devour it, and as you begin to ingest it, dream of usador, speak my name loud, and I shall hear you to podcast since almost near the beginning and I think it is wonderful. I love hearing about Chunk Newsores adventures and Shenanigans. Shenanigans. It's just wacky misadventures.

How dare you. Also, it's been interesting seeing your relationships develop. Next, Arnie, good luck on your quest to find the Lunar Sword. Remember always make sure that you are at your best health and to stock up on health potions before going on a quest. That's good advice. Where would I get health potions? I can make them. Oh, fantastic. There have been many times while I was dungeon diving

that I battled my way to nearly the end and had to turn around because my health was not at a place to be fighting final bosses. What a jump. Lastly, for Arnie right now, it is December 15th, oh, this was sent a little while ago. In case you didn't have a calendar and on January 5th, 2016, I am turning 30 years old.

I was hoping to get a birthday wish from you guys on the podcast. It would be a great present, if not, I understand, sincerely, Sean the bearded. Yeah, you know, it's such an interesting coincidence. January 4th is my wife, Sarah's birthday, which is coming up. I think might even actually be today,

wow, which I'm very sad. Whoever she is with now is probably going to... Throw a nice little potty. Throw a nice little beach party. I will. Sarah, I know you don't listen to podcasts, you only listen to Smash Mouth, but I love you and happy birthday.

And also my birthday is coming up on January 6th. And you'll be turning... And I will be... Well, it's interesting that Sean is having a land... is having a touchstone birthday. He's turning 30 on the 5th. On the 6th, I'm turning 40. No, I don't do. I know. 40, wink. 40, 40 dead like dead stare, like no wink.

Like 40, yeah, 40 dead. I thought you were in your 50s. No, but I just want to say that to all the listeners, if you would like to give me a nice birthday gift, maybe just write a nice review of the show on iTunes and say happy birthday to me in that way. We've been getting, I've been getting a lot of emails saying that people are really enjoying the podcast.

Apparently we've gotten some nice reviews on Earth that people have been telling us about. Apparently iTunes named us one of the best podcasts of the year, which is awesome. The Guardian named us one of the best podcasts of the year, although they called it the Guardian. Can I recruit the Guardian to help me in my quest to defeat the Dock Lord? It's a new, well it's a newspaper on Earth recommended our podcast, but accidentally called us a little from the Magic Tower. Well, Happy Birthday, Sean the Bearded, but I do want to say we get a lot of emails from people asking us to wish them a Happy Birthday, and we just can't wish everybody a Happy

Birthday. So as an end run to not do that, I think we should wish Habiburth Day to everybody, let's say Habiburth Day to every name on Earth, so that we don't have to say Habiburth Day to people. And those without names as well. Yes, and those without names. Excellent point, you guys. So real quickly, we'll go through this.

Habiburth Day, Amelia Smelting Foxery. Habiburth Day, Henrietta Robot Choms. Habiburth Day, Oliver, Boliver, but Habiburth Day, Lincoln Cannon, Mop Mop. Happy Birthday, Mr. Fuentes. Happy Birthday, Dudley Franklin. Happy Birthday, Teddy Freddy, Eddie Farnsworth. Happy Birthday, Bucky Conklin.

A super double special birthday, happy, happy birthday to Billy Yum-2 by-2. Happy Birthday Cornelius Pendergast. Happy Birthday, Pringle Fitzgerald. Happy Birthday, Freddie Melon. Happy Birthday Pringle Fitzgerald Happy Birthday Freddie Melon Happy Birthday Long Mumps Happy Birthday Eugenia Tinklepau Happy Birthday to Sugar Farthington Marple Happy Birthday Sandy Apples

Happy Birthday Churchill Wooderly Happy Birthday please to Lisa Lisa Bobisa Happy Birthday to Gary Yes, and those are all the names that people have on Earth And you know what? You know what? A very, very special happy birthday to one of my best friends. Mmm. It's not my birthday. Are you mean? Oh, thank you, Chuck. I really thought you were gonna...

No. I thought there was gonna be a twist at the end. No, it's a heavy birthday piece. No, a twist. I realize now that since you're about to turn 40 that you're nearing the end, and I just want to... Yes, very close. Before you go, I want to make sure that you know that you are a good friend and I mean that Since you're oh our years a lot longer on earth Are you like 60 and phone years? You know on earth people tell me that I look and act a definitely act a lot younger than that

I just different than look my friend I'm gonna think that that people when they on earth here, I'm 40, go to the forest. So are there a lot of wires on there? Yes, pretty much. But thank you, Chanda. Yes, a lot. You're welcome. When is your birthday?

I don't know. You don't know? Oh, no, I'm so sorry. Well, we'll pick a date to just, let's do January 4th. No, that's my wife's birthday. Oh, I like that. January 4th it is. Oh, well, thanks so much guys.

Thank you, Lois and Shark, please. That's a big kiss. Try it. Try to keep the murdering to the level that just you need to sustain life and no more. You do, you. It'll be a honeymoon, so. Now do one set up. Oh.

All right, I'll see you right away. People ask me what I learned during my near-death experience, and the greatest lesson of all is the fact that none of what you just heard really happened. User door the blue was played in his farewell performance. Whoops, sorry that's just a bit of wishful thinking, by human actor Matt Young. John to the Talking Badger, i.e. the Talking Marketing Opportunity, was played with his usual usualness by Adel Raphai. Lois and Shark were played by special guests, Jen, Jackson, and John Patrick Cohen. You can see Jen perform with the improv group

Meridian at I.O. Chicago. And you can listen to John on the campaign podcast, an actual play podcast set in the Star Wars universe at oneshotpodcast.com. Star Wars universe, great another universe to keep track of. O-Talk Barleyfoot was played by Nick Bair. Craig, all this crisp pronunciation and breath control has sapped my energy. Can you take over for the less hilarious parts of the end credits? Uh, yeah, okay. Hello from the Magic Tavern was produced by Ernie Neacamp,

Evan J. Cover, and Ryan D. Georgie. This one edited by Chris Raffchen. Andy Polin did the theme, Aller the Bond did the logo, Jason Knox did a lot of background sound stuff, really talented guy, and oh and also check us out on Twitter and Facebook. Well done Craig. Thank you. By that I mean the steak I'm eating is well done. Your work was horrible. Ah, yes. Right. And you forgot the reminder that all of this was sponsored by Iron Galaxy, with help from

the Chicago Podcast Co-op. Good to know. Learn more about Iron Galaxy's game capsule force at capsuleforce.com. And the Chicago Podcast Co-op at Chicago PodcastCo-op.com. Great. Great. Craig, well I was in my healing slime coma. Was there any word on where Trisha 8049 flew off to? Ah, no, I don't think so.

I wouldn't even know how to begin to monitor that. I have had zero training in any of this equipment, so I wouldn't know if any of these lights meant that. But basically no, I have no idea where she is. Hmm, not good. Not good at all.