Hello From The Magic Tavern - 45 - The First Jew of Foon

Episode Date: January 15, 2016

I've always wondered how Judaism exists on both Earth and Foon. This week's guest has the answer!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungPeter Smith: Daniel StraussOtok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is not real, but it is really sponsored by Podcast Movement. Looking to start a podcast of your own, this year, Podcast Movement, the world's largest podcaster conference, will be in Chicago. Learn more at podcastmovement.com and use code CPC to save $30 off registration. Hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the Magical Land of Foon I'm your host Arnie Neacamp. I about a half a year ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King into the Magical Land of Foon. And luckily I'm getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King.

I think through the dimensional portal, and I use that to upload a podcast that I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the Tallahogs face, in the land of fune. And I am joined, as always, by my cohosts. NEAGM. Oh, are you sure?

Did you finally finish signing that contract from last week? Yes, it took most of the week, but it's finally finished. Here you go. Okay, thank you very much. And so, you might as well introduce yourself. Is my co-host Yusuf the Wizard? Oh, I'm Yusuf the 12th-row of the Fesius Master of Light and Shadow, manipulative magical delights, devour of chaos, champion of the Great Halls of Tarakas, the Elvenomies, Fyingon, the Dores no-Wizon, and the New Extangies, and I'm no-no-no-thesis,

Gasmönius, Maystahl. And there may be other secret names You do not know yet. Wow so professional. Wow. Yes. I am very tired. I've been signing that contract a week. Yeah, I've had very little to eat so and per this contract from last week I did not Interrupt your name at all. I appreciate that. It's very kind of you. You said we're gonna take a little nap. Oh no. All right, well while you said we're sleeping, my other co-host, my Goon companion,

Chunt, the Talking Badger slash shape shifter. Yeah, there's no slash, it's just a shape shifter. Your shape shifter. In the form of a Talking Badger. How you doing buddy, feeling any better than last week? I'm doing a little bit better. I'm trying to get back out on the dating scene. Oh yeah.

What's the hell, kid? Hey, this is a little personal, but what's going on with you in spans? Like, you guys seem to be reconnecting a little bit at the holiday show. Yeah, I mean, I very much enjoy her, and I know. She, I think likes me, so I think, you know, we just keep circling each other one of these days, perhaps, we'll, you know, find her right time.

Sure. Totally. You know, I've been Can't off it's the wizard state or if he's asleep. Yeah, this is a new one There's a snow yeah, there's a snore so wait, and there's a feather floating above his mouth The nature of it. And you know what, should I just wake him up? It's gonna be mumbling throughout the whole episode if we just let him sleep. Mumble you. Yeah, just give him a nudge.

You said or. Yeah. Me, you said last week you could make health potions. Maybe can you potion yourself up? Oh, yes. Do you want to read one or a blue one? No, no, for yourself. Oh, well then, I'm gonna take a blue one.

Trust me. Although I do want to get some of those health potions because I am starting to go No, no, for yourself. Oh, well, then I'm gonna take a blue one. Trust me. All right. Although I do want to get some of those health potions because I am starting to go into the dungeon to get the Lunar Sword. And it's good. Also, you've been? I went into the dungeon this week.

I saw Clacks and you know what he talked about? How is really easy to defeat him? It is not. It is not easy. But I did knock him over, and then I was beat, so I just left. From knocking over a skeleton, you were beat. It was exhausting. I mean, we grappled a little bit.

I mean, I've seen you sit down and break a sweat doing that. Are you sure you're working out? Well, I'm doing my crunches. I'm trying to get into shape. Yeah. Sorry, Allison. What are you? Shacer from Earth from last week. What are those five sandwiches doing there? Just here. Yeah

Yeah, just in case. Yeah. Okay. I know I've got to do the other side of the getting in shape as well. Yeah. Oh boy. You said you just down that. Oh Yeah, oh boy you said you just down that oh Baby I feel like a million Poins You know the other day I was walking by us, you know trying to be on the dating scene and I walk by the forest And I saw a bunch of birds flying upside down and backwards Huh, which is is that a not a weird? I mean I saw that too But I'm an imagine and all the trees are sort of seeping blood

It's one of two things either those birds are pulling a great prank on you Well the dark Lord is returned and his presence is Croaching even upon the behavior of birds birds who I love Oh, it is time. We must prepare to battle. I call upon anyone here in the Vomiliant Minitor who has the strength and the wherewithal to join my quest. It is upon each and every one of us to take up arms and defeat the Dark Lord. I demanded I, Yusunor, Wizard of the Drill, Mervisius, Master of Light and Shadow. Minity, I do, that's too much of an emotion. realm of a visiest master of like and shadow

He's having a heart attack By the time he's having a heart attack. Oh my god. Oh my god. Are you done? What are you done? Half his face went slack. Oh no, you did it. Do you have a potion? Do you have an earth? I need a red one to even out. Yeah, yeah.

Let's talk to our guests. Okay, hey, I'm very excited. We have a guest who is apparently, as I've been told, the first Jew in Foon. That's right. Hello. Yes, it's me. I was the first one came over here. Wait, where did you come from? Where? Yeah, spring Valley, New York. The spring Valley, New York. That's right. Spring Valley of state, New York. Yeah, on earth. That's the one holy cow! I came over from there. How long have you been here?

I've been here about 137 years. Holy cow. Well, time is different over here. Sure. It's kinder in a lot of ways. I've been able to live a very long time here, very happily, very healthy. But I came over here years ago by a ship.

By a ship. A super hyper interdimensional portal. Holy cow. So I'm not the first person from Earth. It's been here. I guess we also recently learned that Andre the giant is somewhere. Sorry, what was your name again?

My name? Did you say his name? No, I don't know what you're, I just know you're the first to you a fool, but I'd love to know your name. Yeah, Peter Smith. Peter Smith. Okay. That's not the name I'd love to know your name. Yeah, Peter Smith. Peter Smith, okay.

That's not the name I had in New York. Oh, I changed it when I came here because I said, let's, I always like a nice short name and I had a longer name. What was your name on earth? Manacham Leif. You know, and that's kind of a bit more of a, there's a lot, that doesn't sound Jewish.

That sounds like a spell. Yeah, well, Peter Smith sounds Jewish to me, but you're the first Jew in food, so. That's true sound Jewish. That sounds like a spell. Yeah, well he, he does Smith sounds Jewish to me, but you're the first Jew in food. That's true. Yeah, I would know. Everyone knows there's a thing of like if someone's like, my last name's like when I, when I made my offices and bosses character, you know, Dan Smith, people like,

oh, he's Jewish. I'm like, well, you know, you know, it's kind of not a soon, but he is. I mean, I mean, my character is Jewish. Oh, sure. Yeah, because Smith is such a Jewish name. Like it just, it is now. Yeah. Well, yeah, because you is Jewish. Oh, sure. Yeah. Cosmith is such a Jewish name. Like, it just, it's. It is now. Yeah.

Wow. Well, yeah, because you're coming, you reset the whole thing. You push the reset button on Judaism. So much is making sense now that I'm meeting you. Like, because I was sort of wondering, like, how coincidentally could there be Judaism in Fune and on Earth? And it's from you. It's from me. And also, I did notice that there were some things that were Earth. And it's from you. It's from me.

And also, I did notice that there were some things that were different. I have to be honest, I'm no expert on Judaism. Really? I'm not an expert. Neek camp? Neek camp? Yeah, it's interesting.

Well, I was gonna say it's interesting. It's not that interesting. I think it's a German, but I recently But recently learned that it might be Dutch. I'm fine with that. I don't have a problem with that What's the problem with being German? I don't even want to go into that. That's the you're I'm here Now I got to worry about that anymore. Okay, not a problem for me. So Peter when you first got here What was it like? Like finding yourself in a new world. I was confused. Sure.

I said, what is this? Where am I? I don't know what's going on. I landed right on Erics Island. You know, right next to that big statue that they got down there, the waving woman. Uh-huh. First of all, it moves, which was weird. Yeah.

I understand that. And then I had to... That's welcoming you. It's waving. It's saying, hello! I'm a statue. Welcome to Foon. I get that. And then I had to, that's welcoming you. It's wave it's saying, hello, I'm a statue. Welcome to food. I get that now. Okay. Now I go there once a year just to remember. Oh my, there it is. I show it to my kids.

I show my kids kids. We love and I don't even think Eric's island is open anymore. I think it's kind of just like, you know, you just go there for the history of it. What's the point? You know what? I mean, somebody comes to an apportal. We really got to go through all this rig of moral. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing happened to me when I came through portal

I could have used the narex island Well, I don't know what you had chunt. Damn, that's true. Yeah, I was sort of your waving woman. Hey I would have loved that if if a cat if I met a cat on the way in oh I'm I'm a badger. Oh, well, I am sorry. No, it's fine. I don't know from Sure, that's fine. I don't need him anymore. That's part of the reason I've lived as long as I have really I don't I don't touch the stuff really no. I'm on I'll lead a spice potato all day Speaking of can we get it around He's have it up. Oh

Half his face one slack, he's half a mouth, he's half a mouth, he's half a mouth. More red. So what are some things, because to me, I mean, I guess I just know the Jewish culture, as I've always known it, which you introduced to here. Did you kind of pick and choose where you selective and what you brought over? Like what are some Hanukkah's obviously here in Thune? Yes, I brought Hanukkah, which is of course the time every year where Jewish people like torches and parade through the streets reminding everyone of their superiority. Strengthen their power. Exactly. It's a mess with them. You wouldn't want to do it. They wouldn't end well for you. Yeah. That's the festival of Hanukkah.

Now I may have tweaked a few things from the way that they used to do it. Oh, it's the guy. It's on earth, did you go down the streets with the thurches? No, no, no, they do not. But they even, it's more of a candle thing. And they don't really go through the streets. But what else, like, what are the things that you tweak? Well, here's the thing. When I came through, I happened to meet a remarkable wizard,

a guy by the name of SpinTex. Oh, he's great. This guy was something else. I couldn't believe this and he was so welcoming and he's friendly. Yeah, he's amazing. Do you know him? Yes, I know him.

Because you were blue, but he was wearing a beautiful, beautiful blue. Yeah, spin tax is a great. Really nice color on him. And he taught me a couple of spells. Really? Yeah, yeah, he's, they say you know magician never shows his tricks right well It's different if it's a wizard and they're real wow

So he taught me a couple of things I used to or you even taught me anything that's not true I taught you gay leave licking common. Oh, that's right. I just couldn't get it to work now Can I can I use the phrase? Do you magic or is that offensive? That's what it is at this point. That's what we've we've made it our own Wow because he get why he did he gave me the building blocks and then I said I'm gonna make this new G-mag Wow That's I have not heard and I haven't heard anything about G-magic so what are some of the tricks you can do? Oh you you have a second here. Yeah, I'm gonna show you something really nice. You ready? Okay Do you have a second here? Yeah, I'm sorry something really nice. You ready? Okay

Whoa, it's a little top look at that. Oh, yeah Oh, that's impressive. Can you put a little top head on it? Oh, wow we Top with a top hat. I must I must ask Can you join me in my quest to defeat the Dark Lord? When we pool our magical abilities to bring down this... plague upon our land. Well, I gotta tell you. I know about this Dark Lord guy. You know, this is the sort of guy I don't want.

I don't want nothing to do with this guy. I don't want nothing to do with this guy. Well, then we agree. You know what I mean? I don't want to to do with this guy. I don't want nothing to do with this guy Yeah, well then we agree you know, I mean I don't want to mix in with this, you know I mean I you know, I see something like that. I go somebody else is gonna need to deal with that You know because and and the other issue is about 90% of due magic is making tops. Oh Really offensive Absolutely do you want to see this? Yeah, yeah, oh, absolutely. Have a second, I'll show you what it is. Echlamana, sechakabla.

You can wear that hat anywhere. Look at that. Wow. Nice hat. Isn't that new? Beautiful hat. Can you put a top on that? Bing.

Look at that. Now, is this why you open to have a dashory? Yes. Yeah, I can... I say a couple of words in a hat show stuff. Wow, yeah. Why would I not... There's the literally...

It's 100% profit. Yeah, if you're profit. Yeah, that's true. Which, by the way, I'm not that concerned with. I want to be clear about that. No, no, no, no, no, but everyone has to make their way. Sure, no, if you show up in a strange land, you do have to find some means of work

Thank you get a job Provide for yourself Peter. I have a question for you. How many Jews are there in food? Like and do they all descend directly from you now? Or it's a big yes to that question. Wow I'm the patriot wow of the Jewish people of food They all came from me and a wonderful woman who I met after I came over. Oh yeah, tell me about this, tell me about this one.

Did your wife, did you get married? Oh yes, oh yes, yes, we've been married for many years. My name is Janice. Janice? Well, it used to be, you know, Philex stacks. Philex stacks. Philex stacks was a name when I met her.

Interesting. She changed it to Janice Hmm. Just seemed like the right thing to do sure. Yeah rolls off the time exactly and from there Well, you know, but look don't get me wrong. I you know, it's not like we created the entire You know, they were converts too. Oh people who saw what we were doing They saw this impressive and non-offensive Jew magic and they came right over they wanted to be a part of course yeah I'm drawn to it myself. Thank you. Can I ask I never how he's feel we're doing this What is it that you guys wear on that on your head? What is that thing? What does it mean? I noticed it only Jewish people wear it, but I never want to insult anyone. What is that?

That's to protect yourself from birds. Oh oom. Okay. Yep. That's what that is. Okay. Yeah. I will look over back home and had a bit of a different connotation over here. Birds will come right down. Yeah. The birds here are crazy. They're not like it. Well, I'm just telling you stories. Very pro bird. I love birds. I'm not taking that away from you. What I am saying is they will get right up on your head. And if you don't have protection, you're going to be walking around with bird. Oh, sure. Yeah. We've been down your head. Is there a name for that? Because it's not really a head. It's just like a thin. It almost looks like a like a

makeshift bald spot or something. It's called a bird stopper. That's what I call it now, a bird stopper. Spelling out sounds. Yes, all one word, bird stopper. You know what? And now you brought the subject up. I haven't mentioned this. I couldn't think of a polite way to say it. You said, or you are frequently covered in bird shit.

Right? You know. Yes. And you don't feel compelled to do anything about it. Not particularly! Okay. Yeah. Leave it alone, you five sandwich fuck.

No, no! Hey! I ate one of those. It's for you four sandwich fuck. You know what? Actually, I'm feeling a little harsh. Let's get some drinks. Right. And I'd like to learn more about you and your wife, Janice. I like the talk. Anything special that you would like to drink? Oh my and your wife Janice. I like to talk.

Anything special that you would like to drink? Oh my god. On me, what do you want? A minute, Chebots. Great. This is Otaq Barley, foot of the Vermilion Minotaur. Here with your free rumor of the week. Rumor has it that chips have been spotted on the lake.

Possibly from Nig lake, possibly from Megas, possibly Pirates, possibly Reconpirates. This is your free rumor of the week. Please come on down to the Vermilion Minotaur for another rumor and any beverage or food of your choice. Vermilion Minotaur, write the base in the Xingel-Shain forest. Here's your uh, Managellets. It just, it smells like a really sweet wine. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've never had it. They call it Managellets. Oh, Managellets?

Yeah, yeah, I tell you, give it a whole sort of the chevvye, what do you know, because it hurts to say, you have a cold, you really, you got to, anybody who's new is gonna get it too. Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, I must have heard you, man, it's chevitz. So tell me a little bit more about Janice. Like is she a human, she mad, a magical creature?

Yes. Oh, magical creature yes yes oh magical creature I tell her that every morning look at the eyes I say Janice you are a magical creature but literally yes she's literally oh wow she's literally a magical creature I don't know what the name for it is

hasn't come up in the hundreds of years I don't want a prize sure clearly that's her you know she's not a human being she I don't want to prize. Clearly, that's her. She's not a human being. I don't know what it's called when you have a tail and wings. And you have one foot is a horse foot. Just one. All the other ones are normal. All of the other ones? Yeah, the other three are normal. I would call that a mess. I'm sure she's gorgeous. She's a beautiful What she is is beautiful Yeah, she's a beautiful creature. Yeah, I tell her every day. Yeah, well, we are you know, it's exciting

You what did you say her original name was before she changed it started with an app? It started with an app Flickstacks or something was a name to look I haven't called it out in a log Sure, oh yeah, she'd been Janice to you for like over a century. How about just Janice? Because when you said it I thought leaks stacks. It sounded it sounds a bit It sounds a bit like a Coranth named to me. Hmm. She might be a Corinth, and she's got one horse foot. That means sense. I say this, she's the Corinth my being.

Oh. Oh, that's beautiful. Thank you. That's wonderful. Thank you. Is it stressful at all being like the... the fountainhead of a whole religious movement? Even... even being Jewish is even more than just a religious thing, right?

It's... Yeah! even being Jewish is even more than just a religious thing, right? It's tough, it's a lot! But, you know, look, I put my phone pants on, one leg at a time like everybody. Sure. I put my phone shoes on, one foot at a time, I'm magic myself a hat, and I walk out the door. Sure. Now, Peter, I must know, is there some reason you came here to begin with? Were you fleeing something? Or did you come here to get away from an old family?

Like, on old days? Oh, I was in a white UK. No, no, no, no, no. So for me, it was completely an accident. I completely accidentally came to this world and abandoned my family. I mean, abandoned isn't really the right word. Was separated from my family. I mean abandoned isn't really the right word was separated from my family. Okay, walked away from a family to come here.

I didn't. That's all right. Right. Right. Yeah. Reprehensible. Oh, yes, if it was on purpose, which it was not. Do you know, most of the, uh, most of Jewish people, I'm sorry, dinner up, but I have to stand up and turn around three times and say,

bogey-dee, bogey-dee, bogey-dee, bogey-dee, bogey-dee, bogey-dee, bogey-dee, bogey, I'm sorry dinner up, but I have to stand up turn around three times and say Buggity Buggity Buggity Buggity Buggity Buggity Buggity Buggity because I said the other word instead of I Missed it entirely yes, awning all right, that was that was the that's the penalty and the thing in the contract yep You should have read that. You gotta read those. I know, I really do. Now most of the Jewish people I know they live in the woods of Holly. Yeah. Is that, uh, we like the woods of Holly.

Yeah. Well, you know, there's a lot of work there. And it's work that we're good at, you know what I mean? We kind of dominate the woods of Holly. Oh really? Yeah, you know, let me tell you, if you come day, you want to get a tree cut down. Yeah. It's going to be one of us doing it. Wow

We got the whole thing networked in a good way. Yeah, look you good at something you do it You know, I mean it's not a bad thing. It's not a good thing if you're good at it. You're doing it. We're good at Yeah, no, we that with the woods of holly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Well, we like and I'll tell you something else. I like weather Yeah, warm, lovely weather, bring valley to No who needed it. It just isn't much culture Well, this not it doesn't necessarily have a personal identity But that's because so much of it is based around the lumberjack business You know, that's a booming industry. Yes, everybody. You know, you want to build a house? Yeah, yeah

You want to have a fire? You want to sit? you need wood. Yeah, you know, it's worth it Yeah, Jewish people have become so synonymous with with woodwork with lumberjacking You know, it's just and I you know thing I've noticed about the woods of holly and lumberjacking in general people in food are Obsessed with lumberjacking like they just are fascinated with it like they're always there And they sort of fantasize about some day becoming a lumberjack themselves But not everybody can be not everybody can be well It can get a little invasive because you know some of these guys they just want to do their job And you got these crazy people coming in they want to meet them or they want to get them to spit on the apartment

Yeah, you know, which is a bit you know I don't understand what they need that spit on the parchment for but I guess that they go and they try to sell it on the You know the the the V bay the V bay mm-hmm V. Bay or spanks list like any of those yeah, oh It's an actual bay. It's near the water. Yeah, it's Victor's Bay. Yeah, it's Victor's Bay Victor's Bay and that's up the auction there about two three times a week Mm-hmm, and he brings the you know in this case poshman would spit from the lumberjacks Yeah, you can you know, I'll give you a toy. And you can lose. A little bucks for that.

You can lose hours at V-bay. Like, you're like, I'm just gonna look for the, and then you just like, lose yourself. You find anything in everything. There's a lot of old superhero t-shirts, you know, kinda neat. Mostly like our Nor shirts. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, yeah, that's where I got mine that I had him find. Oh, sure. Some old Andre, the giant stuff. Oh, yeah, that's fantastic. Yeah, yeah, that's fantastic. Peter, would you mind showing me another spell? Well, I'll tell you. I told you before that we're only two.

We make the tops, we make the hats. Yeah, which is why the shop that I open is called Top Hats. There is one extra piece of Jewish magic that I rarely show anybody. Oh wow. I love to show you right now. Please. Yeah I'm a second. Yes, I'm wonderful. Is it your circumcised penis? That is something I would love to show you and oh Sorry, it's not magic. Yeah, sorry in a rep what's your brother? It's all it's

I got it boo I got that bit dip stop Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Yes, and you should feel free to call on me any time, but no, I don't want to talk about our stuff. Oh, so I don't, if you bring that up to me, I will quickly change stuff. Sure, I can see how frustrating that might have happened. They just don't want to talk about the world. It's weird.

I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. You know, I wanted to start a new segment near the end of the podcast, because I was thinking, like, the most important thing that I could do is to get more people on Earth to know about this podcast, and that can maybe help me get home, that can maybe help you sit or on its quest.

And so one thing I know that makes podcasts popular on Earth is they do a segment where they recommend things, you know, like a cocktail chatter or things making us happy this week. So I'm gonna start a new segment for the podcast called Tavern Takeaways. So where you guys can just recommend things that you think people should check out.

Do you guys have any Tavern Takeaways? Something I've been really enjoying lately is the the path of destiny. The path of destiny. Yeah, it's just, it's a little bit like a mile past a machine-gall-shane forest. It's just like a path you go down and it leads you to whatever your destiny is.

So it's just kind of a nice, well, to give you a chance to check that out. I think it's really worth checking out. Have you gone down the path? Do you have you found your destiny? I have. What is it? I don't want to tell you that.

Oh God. Do all of you know what your destiny is? Yes, my destiny is to defeat the Dark Lord. I've known this for a long before the path existing. So you just, at the end of the path, do you just see your destiny or? Sounds like you're going to have to go down the path and find out. Yes, I am. I have to go down the path of destiny.

Alright, check it out. Thank you for that tavern takeaway. I'm definitely going to check that out. You that's the hour. I'll check it out. Thank you for that tavern takeaway. I'm definitely gonna check that out. You said, or, do you have a tavern takeaway? So I'm making some sort of recommendation. Mm-hmm. I would recommend that people beware, and put fear in their hearts,

and not allow themselves to be influenced by the dark lord. Okay, fair enough. Peter, how about you? Do you, you don't have to give one, but do you have anything you'd like to recommend? Yeah Every so often just sit down for a little while. It's a good one. Yeah, because you know Just relax for a minute. Yeah life can be exhausting. That would be my recommendation. That's great. I take it myself That's great. Also the now also the gravy at chundles and Skur is to die for. Oh really? Yeah it's

go to go to Chundles. Yes I can back you up on that. That is good. Good gravy. Good gravy. Do you mind if I this beendip? Could I maybe have the recipe for Chichu's Tau? I will teach you the spell. I will make it any time you want. Oh thank you so much. And I would like to recommend the wire. It's a great television show. You can get it on HBO and Amazon Prime. What is... I don't want to talk about it or stuff. All right, so, John, did you get any emails this week?

Yeah, I got an email here from Kayla Rothstein. Subject line says, oh, yeah, baby, I'm turning 25, baby. She says, John, baby, you darling spice potato. You are shining beacon in the large dark and selfish shadow that is Arnie sitting across from you. Oh, how did you know? I'm a long time listener and you search on to our number one favorite. This is my first time riding in and I have a request. It's a small one I promise because you just say happy birthday to me.

That seems to be, we get a lot of emails. You don't even have to sing it, although I know your voice is softer than the pedals on that suicidal drunken flower. I'm turning 25 on January 31st and this podcast has really helped brighten my very dull life. I, I'm just rambling at this point. I love you with all the love my one butthole can give. Cool. Alright, I'm sorry I don't have more than one. Yours forever, Kayla Allison, a pretty hot young human woman with one butthole. But the email said Kayla Rotsteen. Hmm. I might know her. That's familiar to me.

And Kayla, we'd love to wish you a happy birthday, but we already wished a happy birthday to everybody on Earth last episode. But just to reiterate, happy birthday, Amelia Smeltingfax3, a happy birthday, Henrietta RobotChomp. Billy, I'm on 2x4. Oliver, Oliver, but 10 Lincoln, Canon, mob mob, Mr. Fuentes, Duddle Franklin, blah blah blah everybody. Gary.

Gary. I hope Mr. Fuentes, Doug Franklin, blah blah blah, everybody. Gary. Gary. I hope Mr. Fuentes has a good one. Here, I'll read an email. As always, you can email me at Magic Tavern at puppies.supplies. Here's one. Greetings from Nashville, Tennessee, here on Earth, Arnie. I had a question for you, Sador, the devour of chaos. I would very much like to know of what magical material his wizard staff is made.

I am partial to an ash staff as it is both light and strong. However, I do not know whether Foon has trees made of ash. Heck, it might not even be made of wood, just curious thanks. John Schaefer, National Tennessee, United States, Earth. It's made of birch and hexatite. Oh wow, what is hexatite? It's a type of crystal. Oh wow. That's the crystal at the top.

That's cool. Yes it is. So where did you get your staff? I, well, I, at first, when I was first brought into this world, the first thing I did was get a staff. And I just found any old stick lying around. And over time, I crafted it using my wizard prowess to create the perfect staff that you see before you now. Oh wow. Hundreds of years to create. It's a

beautiful stick. Yeah. Thank you. I mean it really brings out the birch head on your robes. Yeah. You vary. Yeah. I like blue. I'm partially a green rope. But I do like the way the stick looks with the blue coat. Here's one more email real quick. Dear Chant Arnie and Yusador, lately we have taken to announcing loudly, mostly while in an intoxicated state, and in a booming Yusador-like voice. Boys night! Boys night!

Boys night! However, there are several girls in our group who have tried to include themselves by announcing girls night I've informed them that the only thing things allowed to have nights in food are boys, chump and letters Please confirm that this is correct so that I can put those ladies in their place who Aaron and Kansas Why would you read that? Why would you even read that? Girls night! Girls night! Girls night! Girls night!

Girls night! I think there can be any kind of night, right? Of course! What's your favorite night that we have not yet referenced? Probably sir... Lemonen? Sir Lemonen? Yeah, wonderful night.

There's a-oh, an actual night! He's a tough- he is a tough guy. He's Jewish, you know. Oh, are you serious? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. He gives a tough guy. He is a tough guy. He's Jewish. Oh, are you serious? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. He gives a lot of money to the group. Does that make him...

Oh, okay. Well, it doesn't make him... No, I'm just saying he's generous. He's a supporter. Yeah, I'm not saying... He's a member of the faith. And he gave a lot of money this year. Yeah, Sir Luminon is probably my favorite night.

All right, fantastic. And then Boy's Nighted for talking about, you know, later in the day. We should do a boys night again sometime soon. Boys night, part two. I feel like we've sort of drifted apart a little bit. We don't hang out as much. I like non-sexual co-ed night.

Oh, non-sexual co-ed night. Non-sexual Coat night! Well, suffice it to say none of that really happened. Sorry iTunes, one of your best of 2015 podcasts, is a big fake and you're all a bunch of idiots. Yuzador, the first character choice he thought of, was played by Matt Young. Chant the shape, shift list, 30 something was played by Abel Rathai. Peter Smith, the first Jew of Foon, was played by special guest Daniel Strauss.

You can see Daniel in the second city main stage show, fool me twice, deja vu, mostly playing the straight white man, baffled by all the comedy happening around him. If you can't create Skaving satire, at least you can stand near it. O'Talk Barleyfoot was played by Nick Baer. My favorite quality of Nick's is that he's not Matt or Adel. Craig, you still need practice with the rest of the credits. Go on, I'm not going to be around forever. I hope not.

Hello from The Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evangelcover, and Rhyndi Georgi, this episode edited by Rhyndi Georgi, music by Andy Poland, logo by Allard Lebon. Visit us on Facebook and Twitter and at hellofromthemagictavern.com. Or visit me right here and take my place so I can get back to Earth. All this made up stuff was sponsored by Podcast Movement and the Chicago Podcast Co-op. Check out PodcastMovement at PodcastMovement.com

and use the code CPC to save 30 bucks on registration and check out the Chicago Podcast Co-op at ChicagoPodcastCo-op.com. Way to leave them wanting better, Craig.