Hello From The Magic Tavern - 48 - DQ Returns

Episode Date: February 4, 2016

I'm going to try to keep Blemish in line while we chat with our old pal D'athaniel Quen'yarvin. Maybe I'll say his name right this time.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungD’athaniel Quen’yarvin: Tim RyderBlemish: Martin WilsonKellory Potter: Janet Potter Mysterious Man: Tim Sniffen Craig: Ryan DiGiorgiTricia:  Kate JamesKern: Spencer HamProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxEpisode Art: Vaughn PinpinYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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A weekly podcast on the magical land of Foon, I'm your host, Arnie Neacamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before. This is what's going on. Almost a year ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King into the fantastical land of fun. Luckily I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload a podcast I record every week. Here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, run by myself and blemish with in the town of Hogs base

in the land of Foon, and I'm joined as always by my co-hosts. I am Usadol. Wizard of the twelfth realm of Ephesius. So many magical, wonderful mystical realms of Ephesians to discuss. Oh boy, you're really good to drag this one out. Master of Light and Shadow. Minipulator of magical delights. Devourer of chaos. Champion of the Great Holes of Tarakus. The elves, Nomiya's Fianyellik. The dwarves, N as zone in who's staying jeez, and I am known in the northeast as Gassamwainius Maystar. I am also known to the vampires as Antony Dawn Walker.

Oh, and I am known in the northeast as Gassamwainius Maystar, and there may be other secret names you do not know yet. Ah, what was the name, Chant, the gas, meanus, gas-anus? If you can't remember, I don't wanna say it. Oh, all right, well hey, it also I'm joined by Chant, Futt nuts.

Futt nuts. What does that mean? It's a new snack, we have a two-choose chow. I love Futt nuts. Futt nuts. Are they good? But... No, they're bad. They're they decided to put the bill in menu that's discussed seeing people would hate Because that's how you run a restaurant. Thank goodness. You're running the minotaur now milk your mouse

How are things going how are things going at you juice, Chau? Good good to great good to great. Yeah So you're not still encrypling death from... Oh, we are. Oh, okay. But again, who's gonna mess with the wizard? Yeah, I suppose that's true. Try to stab me. I dare you.

I know. We learned that you are unstoppable. Or rather, it just has no effect. Huh? Oh god, damn it. I didn't know if you were unstoppable. Oh, I'm totally unstoppable. Sorry. Oh god. Listen, as he just poked him with the stick, I think he'll be all right unstable. Oh, I'm totally stable. Sorry. Oh god.

Ah, listen, as he just poked him with the stick, I think he'll be all right. That one, but it hurt. You felt that? I did. Through everything. Oh, but... Has the stabbing begun? Ah, blemish.

Hello, boy. Blemish, is there any special today as far as the food? We have candy to beat as usual. Are they good? Excellent. Hmm. See how that works? I've prepared them myself.

Oh. I'll never run. And we have roosters feet. I love roosters feet. If you purchase a dozen, I'll give you one extra. Huh. I call it a blemish dozen. Oh.

Oh, blemish dozen. What is the word blemish? That's his name, yeah, Yusra. Oh, right. It's blemish. Right, I see. It's my dozen. I understand now.

I shall return. Thank you. Bye, blemish. What was his name? His name is, his name is blemish otok. Barleyfoot, the owner of the Varylian Minotaur, is off on his quest to find his daughter. He left blemish in charge and his stead and blemish is creepy as hell.

Yes, I agree. I agree, dude. And although I'm actually kind of Cohen-Charge, it's sort of unclear. and his stead and blemish is creepy as hell. Yes, I agree. I agree, dude. And although I'm actually kind of Cohen charge, it's sort of unclear. Yes, it is. Yeah. So what have you been doing around them

the ever million mentor? A lot of cleaning and managing and math and... No, I mostly, if I've mostly been watching blemish, and if he does anything especially creepy, I tell him to get to the back That's basically what Otoch did. Yeah, that is a lot of what Otoch's job was. Yeah, it's true Mead and rooster's feet for all. Oh, thank you. I shall be making changes in the coming week to the Vermilion Minita Putting Bermish's stamp upon it. Oh, what sorts of changes?

Cats room freely the decor would be feline themed. Everything would be painted black. You've got a real cat thing. Cats and darkness. Cats and doctors? A darkness, okay. That would be a good role-playing game, cats and doctors. I think you guys love offices and bosses.

Yeah, maybe I'll make a game called Cats and Doctors. Cats and Doctors. Pick a card or you'll love offices and bosses. Yeah, maybe I'll make a game called Cats and Doctors. Cats and Doctors. Pick a card, are you a cat or a doctor? We'll find out when you talk. All right, Blen, I should get to the back, get to the back. You're not in charge. I am, of you. So be it for now.

Okay, so I'm excited actually to talk to our guests. We have a returning guest we haven't seen in quite a while. I'm a little, I'm having a little trouble introducing him because he's got a very difficult to say name. It's DQ, baby. DQ, our guest, the Elf, Nathaniel Quenjarven. Greetings from the forest.

I'm just so lovely to see you two friends again and you, human. Hello. you two friends again, and you human. Hello. Hello, DQ. You have had months to practice, my name. You could have done it a few times every day, and yet it sounds no better now than it did when we first met. Wow, you have such a lovely, lovely voice.

But I can't say it as well. Say it again. Daphneel Quinn Yovan. That is, I mean, I'm just like, soothed by his voice. Do you want a host of podcast? No, yes. That would be lovely.

Oh, wow. Chantan, I have been talking about looking for a new host. Yes, we're starting a side podcast with a new host. What is your side podcast? Hello from the magic Oh, no, but tavern with two ends. Oh, all right fair enough just De Thaniel De Thaniel

Clean y'all Clean Clean Y'all Oh, it's just that horrible case out. I attempt to roll your cue Are you trying to roll the cue sound? Tohthenia. Quentinia. That.

It feels good. Where? Try it though. It does not sound good. Try it. Try it. Quentinia. Quentinia.

I feel like I'm going to puke. You're going to offend our guest. Sorry. Sorry. I'm trying. I'm here. You already have. You have offended me and attempted to call an eagle in my native tongue.

Oh, is that how you call an eagle in your native tongue? Yes, my name is very close to the command for calling an eagle. Oh, is that- is that tough? Like, growing up, do people make fun of you by calling eagles? Yes. Oh, I'm so sorry. So many eagles were called on the school yard. I would have to bat them away with my hands and legs.

Your powerful legs. Thank you. I remember. Yes, my very powerful legs. But they would swarm and I would have to rush inside and do arts and crafts. While the other Elven kids did recess. Sure. It's terrible. You see Arnold, the other Elven kids did recess. Sure, it's terrible.

You see, Arnold, the languages in food are quite complex. There's dwarvish and elvish and humanish. There's so many different languages. And we're speaking humanish? Yes, of course. In my world, the language we're speaking is called English, and humans speak a lot of different languages. English.

Oh, interesting. English. The language of England. What is England? England is a country that I'm not, I'm not from, but you speak their language. But I speak their language because people from that country came to the country I'm from and made everyone speak English. And we hate it when people don't speak English in my country.

So let me ask you this. So someone from England were to speak right now. They'd sound exactly like you. They'd have a different accent, a different dialect, and they would talk in Cockney slang rhyme. Can you let us know how would an English person sound? Hello, Governor. Oh God.

Oh. His ears are bleeding. Hello, governor. Oh God. Oh His ears are bleeding aren't either sorry Sorry, I have his ears. Okay, I will not do that accent again If you want to know what people from England sound like many of the people in food for some reason do have a vaguely English accent, but I don't understand Kind of like the troll bridge a little bit. Yeah, DQ can I ask? I don't know if this is still a source object. Have you gotten better at your bow and arrow? Thank you for asking, my friend Chant.

I have concentrated on my strengths, and I have realized that archery is not one of them. So I have put all of my strength and concentration into kicking, and it's been going very well. Yeah, that's great I noticed that your boots have a steel toad and have a spike on the end. Yes, very dangerous I have traded in my bow and arrow for some special boots and I have been kicking trees everywhere I can find that's right do you mind? For our listeners who maybe didn't hear the last time you were here? DQ, you have a sort of hatred of trees. Yes, when I was young, a tree stole my father.

According to your mother. Yes, that's what my mother said. They had been fighting for some time, and one day he was gone, and my mother said they had been fighting for some time and one day he was gone and my mother said, a tree took him, let's move on. And I, from that day, vowed vengeance upon the trees. But you know after our last talk, I went back and talked to my mother, which seems like a good idea. We recommend that you talk to her and get the full story Yeah, it turns out that

It's not true. Yeah, we all do that about the trees He just they just they got tired of fighting and he just left and he'd never came back So I don't actually have any quarrel with the trees anymore There is a silver lining in this story that your father may still be out there some way. But he doesn't care to know me or interact with me in any way. In what ways that a silver lining being like, you could find him and re-engage in this relationship. Take the power in your hand and say, Father, I wish to have a relationship with you. I think kick the shit out of them.

That sounds better, Sean. Yeah. All right. Which is, if I may ask, I don't want Arnie to attempt it. Your father's name does he have as beautiful and elegant a name as you do? Yes. His full name is Darth Roniel. Quenyaven. That's beautiful. Darth. Darth Roniel. Quenioven.

That's beautiful. Darth, Darth Roniel? Don't even, god damn it. But there is a silver lining, Fang Alec. Perhaps not the one that you have mentioned, but I have put all of my energy into kicking and into a new quest of entrepreneurial ship. Ooh! Ooh!

I have taken all the trees that I've kicked down and I have turned to woodworking and I have opened my own shop. Wow! I make cabinets and I make other things, I make shelves, a lot of people like my shelves. How kicked do these pieces of furniture look? Like, are they noticeably kicked? They are beaten, they are weathered. A lot of people like them for the vintage and worn look. But I have been able to control my kicks and so I turn the spike on my boot into a sort of lathe. Oh! And just shape them into a very nice piece of furniture. You can see my sign, it is a picture of me sitting upon one of my shelves. Wow.

Arnie, you may not know this, but this vintage and worn look is very popular right now. Uh, mostly because everything we have is old and has been used a lot. Sure, yeah, and you're like, let's embrace it. Let's keep using it because it's all we have. Yeah, oh, that's a great idea. Yes, people do find it quite enjoyable. I feel like I've seen it a lot in, like if you ever go to a Hippogruth store,

a Hipp store, they usually have a lot of vintage kind of material. Semi-sense. Yes, so you're like a successful business owner now. People seem to enjoy what I do. I have a small shop. You can come and see me at any time. It's called Elf on a shelf furniture. Wow, is it seasonal? Why are you smiling? Elf on a shelf? No, I just like that name.

It seems very appealing. It's cash. People seem to enjoy it. Yeah. And you said the sign was you sitting on a shelf? Exactly. Yeah. It makes a complete amount of sense.

And you sell shelves. Among many other things, yes. Yeah, it makes a complete amount of sense and you sell shelves Among many other things yes, yes I was wondering if you could perhaps create something for me What can I create a commission? This is exciting. Yes. I need a shelf upon which I can lay my staff at my soul My leg muscles are already quivering. Yes Sometimes I go home and I try to prop them up in the corner and they just fall down it looks stupid Would you like perhaps a hole in one of the shelves so you can place your staff into it lengthwise?

Oh, oh, and the sword as well. That would be wonderful. Yes I'm gonna kick right through that shell, Fah! Oh, you're whole. Thank you so much, if that he has. Seems vaguely erotic, I don't know why. Yeah, he's sweating profusely. I just love kicking. It's, you ever just figure out what you're good at?

Finally, after so many years, and then just relentlessly pursue it. I am having trouble narrowing it down. Are you refueling that?. Ernie, you refill that? You find what you're good at? Yeah, I feel like doing this podcast, hosting this podcast is something that I'm really good at and I'm really going for it.

Why? It is too bad that I will take over as the new host then. Yeah, I can't wait for that. Oh, man, can you just say like, DQ, can you just say like, hello from the Magic Tavern? Hello from the Magic Tavern. Already, mean that's a world better. I'm not gonna deny that that sounds really good Yeah, actually I thought that the boy did it pretty well, too. No blemish blemish blemish. Yes

This is the Hello from the magic tavern. But say it as if it has two ends. Hello from the Magic Tevern. A weekly podcast from the magical land of food. If you've never listened before, here's the story. I'm an elf and I host a podcast. It's a much simpler story. No backstory needed, which is good. You get right into it.

I can do it in point. I think with DQ or Blumy it's just like a way better. It's like a more accessible. About a week ago I was made the owner and proprietor of the Vimeleon Minotone. I host a weekly podcast series here. Just hanging with some friends, talking about stuff. See, he said hanging with some friends. You always make it sound like it's a chore to be with us.

No, it's great to be with you guys. Why don't you ever say hanging with your friends then? I can start saying that. You say, as always, my co-host, when you say, as always, it makes it sound like it's, as always, say hanging with friends. Hang in with my buds, hang in with my, my, uh, friends, just say friends, say the word friends.

You couldn't even say the line you wanted to when you told him the exact, just repeat what I said. He changed it to buds and then he got a stroke. Also also the way our voice goes very high sounds a bit incredulous What your offense Dethany L though dwarves and elves are natural enemies Would you be willing to kick The Vermilion Minotaur sign so that it says the Vermilion Minotaur presented by blemish Yes, it will require a considerable amount of control.

And also, could we bring the sign down a little bit so I wouldn't have to jump each time? I'm very small, so I will get a series of ladders. Alright. Well, let's take a quick break and sort of refresh our drinks and let's shoe blemish back to the back. And we'll talk some more to DQ our guests. Get out of here!

Hello, I'm Kellery Potter. Come on down to Kellery's pottery, please. A witch kidnapped my family. She's holding them hostage. If I don't sell all this pottery, she's going to eat my children. Please, these pots are priced to move. I'm actually losing money on this pottery. Save my children and get a great piece of pottery.

That name again, Calorie Potter. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background And we're back! And we're back! God, look, here's the thing. I bring a lot to this podcast, no question. But I mean, I will admit that DQ has a luxurious voice. Pretty humbling to hear, huh? I would love to listen to his voice a lot. I'm sure all of our ASMR listeners are really tingling right now. But what are those letters? I don't really know... It's some sort of secret those letters? I don't really know.

It's some sort of secret human code. I don't want to talk about our stuff. So, DQ, I'm so happy that you've gotten over your banditment issues with your father and you've really channeled that into making furniture. I have tried to be more productive and in fact, I have also branched out my kicking into other areas as well.

Oh, really? Yes. It is a bit of a fitness craze, if you will. I teach classes in the back room of Elf and the Shell furniture every morning, twice a week. Local maidens find that my exercising is good for their metabolism and general complexion. It's just a series of rhythmic kicks and jabs and movement to get the blood flowing. It's the main exercise, of course, for maidens of this etcher is boating of course so You this is for people who are tired of boating sure or tie bo for short

Oh, I see I see interesting you know, I actually have a question about your business Do you ship the do you ship the or send the furniture to like other cities? Oh yes, we have a very complex network of eagles and weverns and other creatures that do our shipping for us. We are having a bit of a snafu right now with the spider transport union. Oh boy, so spiders, like giant spiders? So if you want to go anywhere in the Southwest,

you're going to have to make spiders take it there. Oh boy, that sounds terrifying to me. Well, it's very rocky terrain, very difficult to transverse. But also very foggy, difficult for birds. So even if you mispronounced Athaniels last name and called an eagle, they probably couldn't get it there. Do you make the packaging yourself?

The furniture goes in? You know, I typically just send it unpackaged and if it gets a little more beaten up along the way, so much the better. Yeah, just look at the way it looks. It's already weathered and beaten. What's one spider drop going to do to it? I see so there's no kickboxing involved Why smiling? I don't know about earth people are loving it. Sorry. I've been scribbling here for a minute If I could just have everybody don't nobody say anything everybody just take a card. Okay

Okay, don't say anything On that card you'll notice that I've either drawn a picture of a cat or a doctor And what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna call upon you one at a time and I'm gonna say that I have a A problem like my arm is hurt and you're either gonna respond as you would if you were a cat or a duck You said I have hurt my arm That's a cat. that's one point for me DQ my foot is broken. Oh I'm so sorry to hear that let me examine it and then lick it

First I thought I knew that. I think that's a doctor cat. Yeah. Arnie? Okay, mine? That's not how you play. No, I know. I know, I know.

This is how you play. This card you clearly just drew like a large dick, like just dripping. You didn't draw, there's not a cat or a doctor on it. Answer as you would what's drawn a new card I have sprained my back You think this is good podcasting thank you guys for playing cats and doctors. I'm sorry Hey, it was fun. I just the dick card was yeah, I drew I drew one cat one doctor cat and one dick To be honest, am I being honest?

So we're gonna play test it, we're gonna figure it out, how games work, I worked in the games industry on my world, and so I can help you make cat or doctor. Be honest with me. How do you think on Earth, a cat or doctor would do? I think that cats and doctors would do better than officers and bosses on Earth. Okay. From the way you've been acting human, it's like you've been holding a dick card this whole

time. I know, right? I gotta do something. You do play the dick card quite a bit. Oh fuck you. To be fair, Chun did draw those cards. It's not like you just decided to have a dick card. Yeah.

I know. Sorry, then, sorry. Okay, so, Ditha and Yoh, what? Hmm, sorry, DQ. What was your father's name again? Darth Raniel. Darth Raniel. Quenyauffin. Darth Raniel. And he's, you know, he's been evading you for a while, so he's Darth Vader, your father.

What? I'm so glad we circled back for this. It's been a lot of, a lot of like long journeys for not enough payoff for me this episode. Follow me! Blemish! Blemish returns! Here, pick a card. And I'm gonna ask you a question.

Yes. And based on what's on your card, you're either a doctor, or you're gonna spit a cat out of your mouth. Oh, my tummy hurts. Oh! Doctor! I think it's a doctor. Exactly.

Well, DQ, it's been really nice to see you again. I feel like I like you a little more than you like me, but that's something I'm getting used to in this world. That's something you might have to work through on your own human. So what is the future hold for you, DQ? Is it just more furniture stuff or do you have other? Elf on a shelf furniture can be found in a different spot every day of the month. So just look for the sign with me sitting on a shelf.

And come by for any custom made furniture or just see what I've kicked that day. Sure. But I'm really enjoying it. I feel at peace. That's great. You find the thing that you love and you find a way to make a living doing it. I hope that you find that one day. I feel like I have, but thank you. I can't wait to take over this podcast. Uh, Sean, have you got any emails?

Yeah, of course I got an email here. This is uh, to chunt. Gmail.com, channel 6Cs. This is uh, this is from Sean Gilbertson. It says, hi, Sean, since Arnie won't tell you about Earth stuff since he's indolent. I'll give you an use of door taste. On Earth, one of our most popular movies is called Greece. It's terrible, but it has some interesting history. Do you know about this movie? Yeah, the movie Greece. I wouldn't say it's terrible.

Greece was a movie starring a man named John Trayvold. Trayvold. And a woman of a week. And a woman version of a wheat stock named Olivia Newton hyphen John. That's right. The movie is still popular today among aunts and aunts. aunts. But it started off as a Broadway musical.

Broadway is a street in one of our largest cities called New York. New York is like if you coded Chicago in a Sheen of urine and flattened all the pizzas. And then he lists some of the songs from Greece here. He says, Beach times we went to the beach over the summer. There's a song called Cars and Charge. Zoom into my heart. You're the Juan that I want. Do me a favor popcorn. Do me a favor popcorn? Yeah, it's do me a favor and then in parentheses popcorn. Oh, I hope you enjoyed this little taste of our culture Yours and spice potatoes Sean. Yep. Those are all the songs from Greece. Thanks Sean. My favorite is cars in charge

It goes cars in charge of our days and our nights Yeah, I'm just happy to get some worth information that's reliable. Right. I want cars in charge of me. Ah, that's wonderful. I get it all out now, huh? Also if you want to contact Yusudor, fast for six days. Throw yourself under a canvas sheet and let in their burn incense and steam it rocks that make you sweat and hallucinate then pull the canvas sheet off of you, stare at the clouds and when you see a cloud that looks like you should all

speak your secret wishes or on Twitter or on Twitter at you should all the blue uh I got an email here you can email me at magic tavern at puppies. That supplies. I got an email. Do we have DQ Redreamer? Sure, I guess so. Yeah here. You can read the off of this computer. If you can read. Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing well. I was just wondering. Way back in episode one, you said we'll mention that speaking the Dark Lord's name is bad because it will make him grow in power. What's stopping his followers from just saying his name over and over until he becomes unstoppable? Does one of Yusadore's secret names make him much more powerful when it's spoken? If so, wouldn't it be a good thing to spread that name about as much as possible?

From...ham. be a good thing to spread that name about as much as possible from ham. Well, ham, I do speak my name as much as possible because words have great power and my name is a powerful name filled with magical portents. And I, it is true that the Dark Lord does gain power from his name being spoken aloud, and his followers do chant it from time to time, but it also creates a crack in their very soul. And if they say it too much of what too long it shall devour them. So wait that one time that you said the Dark Lord. I think that was you. No, I'm pretty sure that was you. You said the Dark Lord's name. so is there a crack in your soul?

Weren't you supposed to be 10 times a week making lists of possible Dark Lord names? We wouldn't have known what the Dark Lord's name is because you said or said it. We went through one list of those, and they were all wrong, and some of them were hilarious. Yes, I do have a small crack in my soul, but I've only spoken aloud the one time.

I suppose, that's true. You know, I feel like a small crack in my soul, but I've I only spoke it allowed the one time as well That's true. You know I feel like we haven't really been focusing enough enough on some of the threats That are facing this work like we don't really spend enough time trying to do anything about the dark Like the dark hole reason I come on this stupid show Well, what's done is done. But also like, people can also follow SpinTax, the green on Twitter at SpinTax. SpinTax went to Earth.

It's hard to remember it all. SpinTax went to Earth to fight the Void, which is also a threat to all of Foon, and he had to find a girl named Penelope Penelope. Oh, I think it's dead. Well, that's a thing on Twitter. I don't know if you guys are following SpinTax on Twitter. Oh, yes. We did a picture of Penelope Penelope and who I think is dead. Well, that's a thing on Twitter. I don't know if you guys are following SpinTechs on Twitter. He tweeted a picture of Penelope Penelope's two stone.

That's a great stone, yes. His whole mission, the only way to stop the void that we know of, was to get her to believe in magic. I did not understand the numbers on that stone. What do you mean? There were two numbers on that. Yeah, well, on Earth, your tombstone, when you die, some people choose to be buried under the ground,

and there's a marker place there with your name, and then the year that you were born, and the year that you died. Those are years. Those are years. Oh, and then Spin-Tax told me that it had something to do with her age in relation to a carpenter? Yes, the, oh boy, it's a lot to get into.

But years on Earth are measured in relation to the supposed birth of... Supposed? ...of Carpenter's last savior. Oh, oh, I see. So it's part of your creation, mythosos and religious beliefs. Uh, yes. Speaking of your carpenter, have you heard of this carpenter? He sounds great.

I can only hope that one day people will measure years off of me. Oh, so what year is it now? Uh, I believe it would be 2015-2016 on my world. Because the year it showed that she had died was 2001's zero, I believe. Yeah, I know. It sounds like she's been dead for a long time. I mean, it's only been, but it's been a few years.

Yeah, two zero, one zero is when your best bike card said expired. That's true. Well, you said it was worth that many. Don't worry about that. But yes, if people want to know more about what Spintax is up to, you can follow Spintax, the green follow Spin-tax, the green, at Spin-tax, the green on Twitter.

And then also, like, didn't Spin-tax at one point mention that there's also, like, a mirror universe with their evil versions of me and Chunt and you, Yusidor. Oh, probably. Where, like, Chunt, you're like a... Windigo. Here I'm a Windigo. I'm a 100% Carnival Wilson.

We're married. Somebody's missing some eyes. Yusidor has two eye patches. I think I'm a hundred percent carnival Wilson we're married Somebody's missing some eyes used the door has two eye patch thing. I think I'm wearing two eye patches Yes, should we be worried about all this stuff? It's at another dimension. I'm not too worried about what's going on in other dimensions, especially earth But I am confused that it's only 2016 in your world. It's 48 to 30. He ate here. It's what 48 to 38 Yeah, it's 48230 he ate here. It's what 48238. Oh, it's 48238 somewhere What I don't know. I'm just sometimes I'm just trying stuff out. It's the year 48238 really. Yes, of course. This is a very old world. Yes Your world's very young. Yeah, absolutely. Maybe that's why they don't have a match young and hip like a 20 year old. Okay everybody take a card

Okay, try this one more time. All right now you're either a cat a dick a doctor or a car in charge You should or won't you go first? I'll all say an ailment and then you let me know just act out your card Oh, there's something wrong with my ear. I have a little ear ache. Oh, let me look in there Well, that's a that's Dr. Cat. Dr. Cat? What? That's preferential. You're turn. I have such a headache. Oh, take it from here. I'm a car. I don't know what that is. That's a car in charge. And, and then Arnie. This is two dicks. You just drew two dicks on this cart. Act as your own.

Yeah. Uh. I know that sounds like the dicks are farting, but it's just loud ejaculating. Short and sweet. And you're, you just turn 40. Bring so much to the podcast. This is 40.

Hey, I have one more email. Here, why don't, uh, DQ? I'm sure he'd this one as well? I will not charge you for this normally. I have a standard voice fee. Hey Arnie, I'm glad that you're doing this podcast to let us all know about food and your adventures. I know it has to be tough being trapped in another world away from your family and I know that some people in food kind of give you a hard time. It's possible that someday somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye.

Don't you know, things can change and that things will go your way. If you hold on for one more day. Baby, hold on. What is this nonsense? I mean, uh, things are gonna change. Things will go your way. Yeah. More of your human culture. Well, thank you so much, DQ.

Thank you for having me. I hope all of your listeners with MDMA or whatever enjoyed this appearance. Have you ever taken the time to lovingly imagine the details of the Vermilion Minotaur? The thick grey stone, the cheery fireplace. Well, take all those details, put them in a box, put the box under your bed, and imagine a rented conference room in a downtown Chicago comfort inn, and your close. Matt Young said a bunch of words, and we're calling that, use a door the blue! Adil Rathai said a bunch of words, and we're calling that, chunt the talking badger. Lemish was played by special guest Martin Wilson. Martin performs with the improvised Shakespeare company once a month when his wife allows it. DQ, the elf with the difficult to pronounce name, was played by Tim Ryder.

Follow Tim on Twitter at Tim Ryder. Kellerie Potter was played by Janet Potter, who was watching the recording session for an upcoming Chicago reader article. They asked her if she wanted to play a quick character in the show and she said sure, isn't that in prompt too, and fun? And further proof that none of this is real. Uh, hey, I think you need to listen to this. Craig, I was really getting into the flow.

This interruption had better be worth it. Hello? Is anyone there? This is Karen. I've been lost in a dress phone galaxy for as long as I can remember. I need some assistance. There's a intruder on my ship. I don't know who it is or what it is, but I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Tricia.

I sort of, I think I might have damaged some stuff out back. I think I crashed. How do you? Yeah. Oh. Can you help them? Oh, well thank you. I'm so sorry to interrupt and it looks like what you're doing is very important.

Oh this. Oh, just some important space stuff, but nobody do. Okay. So we are still in space. Yes, yes, yes, yes. We're in the Grisfor and Galaxy. That really means nothing to me. Like, that is in relation to...

Oh gosh, I don't know, I've honestly lost all space and awareness. I'm just confused, is you? I guess we're just two peas in a pod. So, you call this a pod? Well, it's like more of like a bachelor pod right now. Oh, Kern. Yeah, but... It's obvious you have to...

I don't want to be a bachelor forever, though, you know? Okay, slow down. Hmm, so Trisha 804-9 has crash-landed in the grass-formed galaxy. We'll have to monitor this very closely. Craig, go ahead and finish the show while I think about the consequences of all this. Sure. Hello from The Magic Tavern is produced by Arnany Camp, Evan Jacover, and Rhyndi Georgi, this episode edited by Rhyndi Georgi, music by Andy Poland, logo by Allard LeBon, extra

audio assistance by Jason Knox. I'll check us out on Twitter and Facebook, and we have shirts if you go to the website hello from TheMagicTavern.com. All this has has been sponsored by Jackbox Games and the Chicago podcast co-op check out Jackbox Games at Jackbox Games .com and Chicago podcast co-op at Chicago podcast co-op.com Hey if Trisha is alive you can probably get her back and then send me home and then everything would be square right? Hello He left and then everything would be square, right? Hello? He left.