Hello From The Magic Tavern - 52 - One Year

Episode Date: March 7, 2016

It's my one-year anniversary in Foon and I'm going to spend it with my goon companions, Chunt and Usidore. Boy's Night!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungBungaree Chubbins: Tom GottliebMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Greetings! The following warning should bring you neither alarm nor comfort. The following podcast is not real. Do not be fooled into thinking it is documentary evidence of the existence of alternate dimensions. It's just a comedy podcast newly added to the Earwolf Podcast network. And I'm not just saying that to cover up a huge trans-Tan. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun. I'm your host Arnie Neckamp. If you haven't listened to the podcast before, this is what's going on. Exactly a year ago today, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago

into the fantastical, magical land of fune. It's sort of like Middle-earth or Narnia. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal through the dimensional portal I think from the Burger King and I use that to upload a podcast. I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the Town of Hogsface, in the landvern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the Town of Hogsface, in the Land of Phone, and I'm joined as always by my buddies that have become my best friends over this last year, Eucid or the Blue. I am Eucid or Wizard of the Twilth Realm of Efeasiest Master of Light and Shadow, manipulator

of magical lights, devourer of chaos, champion of the great halls of Tarakas, the elves, Nomias, Fying, Yalak, the dwarves, Nomias, Zonen, and Hugs, Sanges, and I am known in the Northeast as Gasmwayas, Mastar. Let's don't do that. And there may be other secret names you do not know yet. a crush a squirrel by simply uttering them, yay, words so grand that they could scrape snow off of an overhang. Hmm, those are not that powerful. No, yay, but as combined, if that snow would fall off of the overhang and crush the squirrel all at the same time, your mind would be blown. I am not in favor of you revealing more of your secret names because your name is already quite long But if you're not revealing some because they will just kill a squirrel or help clear snow

Hmm, I don't think that that's really that big a deal. That is just the tip. I'm just giving you the tip on a just the tip Oh, no, thank you. I know you started just the tip give him 20% That's just going to come. I'm not even no. Thank you. Yes, you said I just want to know. Yes. What's the number? What's the number? What's the number of names? I've never counted them. That's a great question. Maybe next week Take some time in the next week to figure out exactly 43 43 that is less than I would have guessed I feel like we've probably heard it'll eat more than half of those already. No No, no, no, no, no, and I'm getting new ones all the time. That is true. That is fair

Hey, but you know what we're also joined by my favorite co-host what chance up with that baby We're also joined by my favorite co-host. What? Chancelled with that, baby. Hey, chunt, the shape shifters, last talking Badger. Yeah, how's it going? Pretty good, pretty good. I'm, you know, it's kind of a weird,

it's kind of a weird day for me, but I'm choosing to be happy. I'm choosing to focus on the positive. That's good, well, Yusidor and I, I mean, Biscuit Miniscus, as I like to call him, we baked you a one-year cake, just to celebrate you being in food for one year. I know you're lonely and we love you.

And we love you. I miss my family and it's a little weird to be trapped here and to not be able to figure out how to get back. But looking on the positive side, I got my buddies Chuchu and UC. UC, UC? No, I don't care for that one, ain't. 44?

44, I suppose. Yes, it's a very special cake that we made just for you. And you mix together eggs, and flour, and cream, and sugar. Sure. Yes.

I'm waiting for a little bit to turn to this perfect. Then you pour it in the pan, and then you put a full spice potato right in the middle of one more. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is.

That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is.

That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's what this is. That's with the most delicious mayonnaise that we can find. Oh, what a delicious cake it makes Yeah, not any mayonnaise the most delicious mayonnaise. Oh, okay If you use subpa man a's the hell that I will rain down upon you with a hidden name Directly related to mayonnaise that I shall never speak and I don't know how it is on earth But here in Finn when you when you make a special cake as we did

Uh, you'll notice that there's a candle there and what you need to do as the person who's receiving the cake is to blow the candle Blow the candle? Mm-hmm. That seems no blow out the candle. No, it's not lit. No. What does that mean? Then you go I I have no. No, thank you. Alright, now, but thank you for the cake, and especially I don't like spice potatoes, but I know that they're in short supply lately. There's the spice embargo from MIGAS.

MIGAS, yes. So spice potatoes are very rare right now, even though everyone loves them. I shall have an order of rooster's feats and three ails for my friends. You address Barry and yours, Chant. Please. Brasberry and Chant's ails. You know what? I've been wanting to try.

I ordered a few weeks back and never got to actually try it. What's that? I keep hearing about prophecy wine. I want to try prophecy wine. Boy, oh that's, make one of those a prophecy wine. Yeah, have a sip of that and you're gonna have a prophecy. Yeah, it possesses you when you spout off prophecies. Yes, but prophecies are a dime, it doesn't.

Who cares? You don't like prophecies? No, I'm not into it, it's not my thing really. I got into prophecies being my school days and then you know I had all these prophecies sitting around the house and then finally I was like I have to do something with these, this sitting here and I got rid of first of all I got rid of all the cases. Sure. And then I just put them all into a binder. Yeah. I just set them aside because I'm like who needs all these prophecies. Yeah that's true. I'm half of them I don't even read anymore. Yeah and some people put them on like these huge

shelves and it's like some kid could just slam into that and those prophecies are gonna go everywhere And you know, I don't want this whole pro- this whole long prophecy when I really only enjoy like three or four words Yeah, there's a great line in this prophecy, but the rest of prophecy is just so so and I hit you here The one great line and you're like well, I have to get that whole prophecy. Yeah, but that is not the case anymore So happy one year to you. Thank you. Thank you so much, guys. I've also decided that I'm going to assist you

in training to retrieve the Lunar Sword, which is the first thing that you seem to have been excited about since you've got here. I'm gonna try to get this Lunar Sword in a nearby dungeon. I've been working on getting in shape to retrieve the sword. Can I be honest with you? I just, because I feel like our friendship is growing and blossoming and I want to be honest

with you. The reason I'm helping you as I've told you before and hopefully you know, Hawkspace is a big gambling town. And currently the gamblers are Yeah. Forwarding into you. So I put a little bit of my own money on the line. They're giving you two to one odds. Two to one. The guy who runs the gambling is named as Juan. He has two toes.

And he's giving you two to one. Two to one is giving you odds. Okay. And they're a thousand one. Wow. That's much worse. Tuto-1. Tuto-1 is one of the gamblers of Turok, is he not?

Yeah, he is. They know me as Johann Sebastian Buckerot! Oh no. That's right. But I just want to prove Tuto-1 wrong. Sure. No, you can help me. I gotta be honest, here's the thing.

I'm stuck on this first part of the dungeon. And it is a little bit boring. You know, gotta be honest, here's the thing. I'm stuck on this first part of the dungeon, and it is a little bit boring. You know, it's like, it's the same skeleton, and it's bats, and it's dripping acid. It's just not exciting. Yeah. Wait, bats are dripping acid? No, there's bats.

They're not even that fast. Usually like one big bat, and then dripping acid from the ceiling, which... You can just walk around that, right? Well, I mean, you have to walk under it, but it's very rhythmic, and you can usually, just the pattern is very good. I'll time it out, yeah, just time it out.

Is it just one drop, you could just go to the side. Well, sure, what's your complaint? It's just like, it's dangerous, but it's also boring. I don't understand how a drop of acid that comes down to regular pattern is Yeah, is any kind of obstacle Well, it's not how do you even know it's acid? I it's green. It's just great water They could hear the above out. I didn't but I don't want to test it out the wizard Recon worth testing it out

Why don't you put some of it in a vile and bring it back here to me and I'll use my great magical powers a vile and bring it back here to me and I'll use my great magical powers. I those powers that I have developed over these years to battle the dark lord of food. I all use all of my magical knowledge to let you know if it's water or acid. When I let you this, when it hits the cave floor, does it plopper hiss? It kind of, because there's a little saying here. If it plops, water drops, if it's a hiss, it is a hiss. A hiss, a hiss, a hiss. Yeah, I think it's, it's kind of a little bit of both. So I think it's a plop hiss. It's a plop hiss.

Oh, what a relief it is. Sorry. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Guess I didn't I didn't get us a guess I've been so you know busy trying to get this lunar sword that I didn't get us A guess so it's just the three of us. Wow. We have a saying in tune about that when three buds Spaying and they are tight that makes this a boy's nice. All right boys No, baby, baby, baby, boy's nice. Well, yes once, the three of us shall. Till deep into each other's hearts and minds peer closely to our truest most sales, as we prepare for our battle against the Dark Lord of Foon, for he is ever present and ever plotting against us here in Hogsface even now, there are dark deans in the airy corner. I and I, Yusodor shall be what stands between us and the dark Lord as we prepare to go out on a quest to defeat him.

I, Shant shall join me and Arnie shall join me. I, and even perhaps, some other Travellers who come here through the Vermilion Minitor. This beautiful tavern where we wait night and day, hoping that some great hero does appear before us. I believe that hero to be honored Also, it was next in games. Oh, yes Yes, it's actually games too. That would be great. It's good at boys night anything goes. Yes. Oh, you know what women E delicious would be Some roosters feet. Sorry, I cut you off. You said or what were you saying? I think I was talking about who I was dating right now. Oh, yeah, I have been, of course, sending each other magical excursions where we do, uh, trans-dimensionally, uh, send our souls into the atmosphere, and then spend some time looking down upon Foon.

Wow. Yes. So you are like Astral projecting together? Exactly. Holy cow. Do you start together or do you start separately and then meet up? I haven't seen her in weeks. So, but you've seen... I'm Astral projected, are we? We're going to look over Foon together.

Who knows where she's at? Oh, so it's sort you've masteredly projected. Oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, so it's sort of like a long distance relationship. You, you could say that. You could say it's a long distance thing, you know? Yes, it's just. That can be very exciting. It can be, I can be fun to have a long distance thing. She could be an herndon for all I know right now.

She could be an megas, I have no idea. Sure. Oh, Jen, leave you though, how I do love you. How I do think about your beautiful face, God, though it may be. And how I wish to gently caress it and think of your beautiful long black hair. Yeah, wasn't that a face guard by acid? Yes, I believe I gave her some advice to just walk through some acid hmm one time and I I was because it just seemed like it just seemed like water to me

sure she even brought some back and I tested it but I got it wrong sure sounds about me now you know what are you gonna do well I brought some games oh really in case I always have some games in mind just in case we ever do another boys night sure which is tonight so wait shut every week are you do you bring games and then you're like In case I always have some games in mine just in case we ever do another boys night sure which is tonight So wait shut every week. Are you do you bring games and then you're like? No didn't get a play of the games well there. It's not like a physical. Oh, it's just in my brain Oh, so you brought games in your mind? Mm-hmm. Okay. Any more brainbusters. No, I'm sorry I'm from in my world people don't really bring things in their mind. People were really into physical things.

I mean, Chant comes every week to record the show as we always do, and we're always happy to talk to our guests, even though we may have other things on our mind that we could talk about where there are no guests as we shall do tonight. But the disappointing part is that you're always here. Yeah, and I can tell, I mean, I can tell you being from Earth that you don't bring much in your mind. I keep it empty.

Yeah. What sort of game do you have? The first one I brought two games, the first one is called, Wait, you brought two games in your mind. I don't know. I might be the only one that there's just something a slightly weird about that. He's so, he's just so many games you have in your mind. I have two.

Why are you so obsessed with counting everything to me? Let me ask you this If I were to leave the table would the game still be here? No, no So that means I brought them have you ever had more games in your mind than two? Yeah, where did I? But tonight he packed his brain case with two games. Where does the other games go? What is this fucking question? What is this bother you? I know what do you care. Arnie, it's been one year. I love you.

I love you too, buddy. You're maybe my best friend. You are my best friend. You're being kind of a fuckface. Okay, I'm sorry. Does that make sense? But it's just, I mean, I just, okay, no, but I'm excited about the games.

I do not need a best friend. For I am more powerful than many of the great wizards who have lived through the ages of food. I even can and spin-tax do not hold a candle to. Usador, I, in Genleivia, my sweetest love, she shall not be more powerful than I, where we to battle each other in a wizard battle. I she who was born of gopher and tree and leaf and stream.

What color is Genlevia? I mean like wizard-wise like you're used to the blue. Yes I am. And you're the master of light and shadow. And I know we've met Spentax the green. Yes the master of truth and lies. And then there was Can the Wizard. He's the master of truth and lies. And then there was K and the wizard. He's a master of space and time. Yeah, and then there was the brown wizard? Bloth. And he was, what was he a master of? Sensor, sensibility. That's right.

So what is it, Genelevia? A she is a beautiful red wizard. Yes, so yes. Yes, and her powers derive from nature and nurture and nurture. How did you know? See you. You are a powerful magical entity, whether you believe it or not. You have been brought here to this world to aid me in my quest.

I know not yet exactly what part you shall play, but your instincts and your understanding of things are sometimes so innate that I cannot deny. But you are a powerful being. I want to test your magic. I'm going to say something I want you to finish it. Sure, no, okay. Is this one of your two games in your brain? No, this is a third game that I just now brought to you. Just brought to you, to where? From like in the seller of your brain?

Yeah, okay. All right, let's play I'm gonna say do you know how brains work? I do I do not actually I mean like in a really complicated way No, I do not they're just like house. They're just like a house. They're just like a house fair enough All right, let's play I'll finish your whatever boys Boys night. One for one. Okay. Golden. Showers. Two for two.

Wait, that was right. What is that? I know what golden showers mean on Earth. I'm hoping it doesn't mean the same thing on food. What is golden showers? It's when you are in a cave and the drippings are yellow. And you kind of stop a little bit and let it clean y'all. No, okay.

It's usually because there's an ogre in the cave above you peeing on you to be sexually aroused. Okay, yeah, it's the same thing. You have to mention that part. All right, all right, give me another one. Pride comes before the fall. Three for three. Oh, I'm getting these all right,

see, maybe I do have this sort of like, maybe I just have this kind of like powers up intuition Arnie is the best No, three for fail. No game over. What was what was the correct answer? No, aren't you sexy? No, man, but I love you You do buddy one year one year one year one. Yeah, I don't want you. I'm so conflicted guys And it's so weird. I'm in a magical land. That is awesome. I have you know been talking to all these crazy magical creatures about their adventures That's awesome. I met my two really good friends You said or in Chun. Ah, yes, but you're conflicted because you've left a life behind you You've cast off the shackles of your marriage and the bindings of your

impending fatherhood and now you are free to enjoy yourself quest for the lunar sword and join me in my near-ending quest to defeat the dark lord. I so happy and poignant are you that how could you not be conflicted knowing that you came from such humble and despicable beginnings. Bachelor night. No, no, no, I'm not a bachelor. You just like to swing. No, I don't, I don't like to swing either. I'm just separated from my family

and I hope to get back to them eventually. It's just a trial separation. No, it's not a trial separation. It seems like it's sticking. No, here, let's play one of the two games. Okay, what are the two games that you brought. So the first game is called, Why is an Arnie?

Stiff is a board. Oh, sounds. So Arnie, you're gonna land a table. Okay, I'm, first of all, I'm not light in any way. Yes, that's, that's, I'm going to magically reinforce the strength of this table. Thank you. So they control the fan.

Damn. Feeling like I should have a few drinks before I actually do this. But all right, I'm gonna get up on the table. Move your cake, move your cake, move your cake. All right. There you go. Just pop up there.

Okay. And now what's gonna happen is you, Sidor and I, are going to light you on fire. Oh no. God, all right, no, no, no. What? That's what I'm gonna have to do. No.

No, you're not gonna lighten me on fire. It's like, is it Arnie's stiff as a board? No, wait, I don't. What's the stiff as a board part? I, if you look down below. I am hard as a rock, my friend. Oh. Mmm, yeah, baby.

That was a fun game. Big bomb. I'm gonna give that one a begrudging. Boys night. Boys night! Boys night! Boys night! Let's uh, take, let's get our drinks and let's take a quick break.

Okay. And then we'll play more of these games and have a little bit more boys night. Boys night. Boys night. Boys night. Hello, I'm Bungery Chubbunch. Maybe you've heard me before on this talking program. And the proprietor of Chubbunch Chamberpots and so forth.

We've been a fixture here in Hogsface before we even knew of the twelfth realm of Ephesius. Nine realms seemed impossible. Yet here we are, and the world still needs chamberparts. No, I don't sell nothing fancy like Penn Halligan's pretty parties. Like my father told me, and his father told him Now Chubbins piss tank is for the common man Chubbins chamber pots and so forth they ain't pretty, but they'll hold all your piss or will Well, we'll give you a store credit I suppose You know guys we've been having a classic boys night boys night boys night

We've been having a classic boys night boys night boys night Boys night, but yeah, and and I'm not saying that you have to have drinks to enjoy boys night We really haven't been drinking much. Oh, we haven't been drinking much. No, well, I mean even you use it or usually you're just Drinking like you're breathing, but I've had four drinks since the showstop Boys night since the showstop. Boys night. Boys night. Boys night. It's not the size of the night in a boy.

It's the size of the boy in the night. Boys night. What? What are you doing? Okay, I'm sorry, I guess I've been nursing. I'm nervous to try my prophecy wine, but I'm going to try it. Oh, yes, you should. Here we go.

Strap in. Oh. How do you feel? Uh. I think it made him stupider. The sun shall die, the stars shall fall. Five go forward, three come back, the never-dour opens. No, it doesn't even rhyme.

They didn't even rhyme. Five go forward, all seven will watch them fall. I only really liked the never-dour opened, and it just seemed like you know I could just get a line like that anywhere. Yeah, well, I you I could get a quote from the Raven and he'll say never-door Yeah, exactly Well, you guys try you do you want to yeah, prophecy one? Yeah, I'll have some here we go The more a man knows, the less he talks.

That prophecy? Wait, hold on. An old ass is smarter than a young goat. Wait, there's another. A mule can travel for miles and miles, but it'll never come back. Of course. These trues have changed.

No, wait, I see something. It's a boa constrictor eating an elephant. And it looks like a hat. That's it. I'm all done. I'm not sure if those are prophecies so much as far as side cartoons. Well, here. Pass it to me.

All right. Here, you said, oh, yeah, I mean, it seems like we're just saying gibberish, but it's fun. He is staying. Wait, don't drink all of my prophecy line. He is inhaling us. Oh, come on. Ugh. Ugh.

Breath the senses out of the face. Returns again, get to its unborn place. Each man and a living and growl, and on this planet he has still little to show. Life has no meaning and he shall end. This is the meaning to stop the feel of the bend of the dark Lord, the dark Lord, and in this sight this vessel he shall ever rule, by I have opened with the dawn that the dawn of Lord may enter, and he is here now. And he shall not disfell, he is no with roots or any other one. You shall no longer have your silly show fun.

What? You just parked up a bunch of mosquitoes. And now in Chantas well. No! There's no way of telling where we're going. The lights ahead are growing. What's going on? Guys! The old woman keep on growing

Oh wait, I feel weird to Oh Welcome girls La-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Galee-victim comma! That was fun as hell. Oh, is that normally what happens with prophecy one? Yeah, it's prophecy one. I probably shouldn't have drank so much of it. I think I was a vessel for the Dark Lord momentarily. Yeah, those mosquitoes you birthed up right in my mouth.

I was so sorry about that. I'm sorry, man. Yeah, dude, it's kind of worth it. Do badgers and mosquitoes? Yeah. in my mouth. I want him so sorry right now. I want you to be honest. Yeah, dude's kinda worth it. Dude, Badgers, he mosquitoes. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Chant, I'm gonna say something. You've been a badger for most of the last year that I've known you.

Sure. You don't seem to know that many facts about yourself. About badgers? About badgers. I am what I am. What are all the things you know about badgers? Just from having been one. What are all the things you know about yourself?

I know. I know too many things? Just from having been one. What are all the things you know about yourself? I know. I know too many things about being human. Same here. Here. For every question I'll answer about a Badger. You answer questions. How about this? Let's do a fact off.

We'll go back and forth. I'll say facts about being human. You say facts about being a Badger. Badgers are black and white. Humans can be any color. Correct. Or not any color. No. You're said humans can be any color. Humans can be any color. Why don't you think humans can be any color correct or not any No, you're said humans can be any color humans can be any color

Why why don't you think humans can be any color? Well, I mean there are a set number of colors on or I mean There are vast sort of different hues and varieties, but it's not like they're aren't like I'm now I'm weirdly trying to think of a safe color to say the human art This is your first there aren't green humans at least on earth are there green humans on food? Yes, of course yeah everyone in in the far far south is green oh really fact-off over oh fucking lost you now let's play my second game okay let's play your second yes great my second game is called truth or bear okay bad great so you have to either tell a truth okay or you should or it turns you into a bear. Wait, why did you say that I'm gonna pick for me?

What? I'll tell a truth. I don't want to be turned into a bear. Okay. Why have you come to a chance night? Why have I come to a chance night? That's the question. Here's the honest truth.

On Earth. I lived in Chicago and I hung out with a lot of sort of like actors and performers and comedians sometimes. And you know, I- I got all colors. And I just got tired of seeing their shows. Like I didn't like seeing their shows. And you know what the worst part would be if you had a friend, a really good friend, and you wanted their show, and you wanted so much for it to be good.

And it wasn't. And look, I'm not saying, I bet your- I bet Chense Night is awesome. Everything I've heard, I bet it's awesome. But if I wanted Chun's night and it wasn't awesome, I would feel bad. So that's why I haven't gotten to Chun's night. Wow.

Hashtag awesome, you can reach me at YouSid with a blue on Twatiton. So it's almost like there's a cat in the box and the cat could be dead or alive, but as long as you don't open it, it's both. Yeah. So Chun's sign is both awesome and terrible, unless you actually go and then it becomes one of those two things. Yeah, I mean, I'm probably, I guess I'm kind of assuming it's one of those two.

This is a sad story, but Yusunor shall intervene. Yeah, I shall open this box, and I shall save this cat. Yeah, it shall no longer suffer unseen in this box and I shall save this cat. Yeah, it shall no longer suffer Unseen in this box tell me where the box is point me towards it, and I shall rescue it It's not an actual box. It's just we're just kind of talking. Oh All right, I know we're having a boy's night. I know we're having a good boy's night boys Not you know, I don't know why this boy's night is not as celebratory as our other boys night I feel like we're all it's a little heavy. Well, I was about to say something a little heavier.

Oh, no. John, let's take a load off, Arnie. Take a load for free. What? Just shut up. Listen, the other day I was walking through the forest and I came across a bunch of dead rabbits and there was a coin on the ground. And I picked up the coin and it cursed me.

It was a cursed coin. Cursed? Yeah, I picked it up and I like floated into the air and I went rigid. It was like a silence. No, it's not like a joke. It's like I went into like a silent scream and then I landed and it was a curse coin and I think I have like months to live. Oh, shut. Yeah, it's pretty terrible. And what I want to say is that here in Foon, when you know you're going to die, when death is apparent, not like don't make a joke about a death being apparent. Wow, it's like a mom or dad. It is.

I mean, that's, it's so much, so much parent, so much death the parent. When death is looming, there's a thing here in Fune where the person who's dying gets one last request, you call it a final fantasy. And my final fantasy, where is it? Do you get just one? Well, you can have one to like, I mean, four.

Why would you pick up that court? But my final fantasy is for you. Final fantasy one. My final fantasy one. And what this is a tactic I'm using, my final fantasy tactic is to get you to come to a chance night before a day. Okay. How long before you die?

I don't know. I took it to a local witch and she said three to six months. Three to six months. Maybe could you get a second opinion, go to another witch? Like I don't know if, I don't know how it works. Could you, could you, could you, here's the coin. Is used to or in network? The door's over to me. Is used to or in network. I don't know how it works. Could you use it or can you use the coin? Is used to or in network? I don't know if you let me see this, but I I mean I bet you two to one odds that It's let me pour some green water over

No, it's green water. That's what the sprite string. It's we call it sprite This No, it's green water. That's what the sprite string. We call it sprite. This was a cursed coin. The curse has been removed and now, Chant, unless you find some way to reverse the curse, you shall die. Reverse the curse, this is the worst. This is tragic. Honour, do you see what our friend Chantiers, he's in trouble, he's in pain. What are we going to do? He's also playing it up a little bit. Yeah, does the curse make you sick,

or does it just kill you? No, I just had a mosquito left on my throat. Yeah, I feel fine. I know, honestly, I feel fine, but... Them is the brakes. Looks like I'm gonna die. What do you want to do with your last days on food? Yeah. Watch Arning at Chant's Night. Okay. Watch his face, like enjoy, The brakes looks like I'm gonna die. What do you want to do with your last days on food? Yeah watch our new at chance night

Okay, watch his face like enjoy or pretend to enjoy what I'm doing I'll go to chance night and two to three months Why don't you just go to the next one? I mean wait there's some time, right? There's a time, but Why put it off in case I'm not gonna put off until the last week But why put it off in case I'm not gonna put off until the last week But maybe to like the beginning of the last month. Oh boy. All right. This is like that. Do you I don't know if you have this on earth There's a story in food about the ants and the grasshopper and the ants work hard all winter. No wait the ants No, they both die never mind boys night boys night I never mind boys night boys night

Well, Chuck I'm still kind of reeling from the fact that you may die in the next few months. Yeah, you're reeling I must think of a way to save my friend Shunt and to do so. I must now go into the wizard state I don't know. I don't think that's going to help. John, have you got any emails from the last time? Yeah, I have. This is an email here. This is from Jared Watson. Jared Watson says, this says, Gorgeous made it to the studio. That name sounds really familiar, Jared Watson.

Yeah, I don't know. He says he's a musician. But he says Gorgeous made it to the studio. I guess he's recording music. With Gorgeous, the talking spice potato I guess so. Holy cow. So I guess gorgeous is maybe no longer on the side quest. I guess not but Congrats Jared. Here's one from Jana Joseph Jana writes. This is to chun at gmail.com chun with six tees She says deers chuchu chun's up. Nothing much here. Sitting in my office parking garage, listening to Arnie's podcast.

I'm just starting and I'm super stoked to catch up with you all as soon as possible. Although I'm only on episode 12, I'm really hoping for an upcoming episode of Chunt Nights. I would clear my entire blunder schedule to be a fly in the wall during Chunt Nights. Cheers, Chunt Lee, Giana. I'm back. So, I wish I wouldn't have heard that one. I don't know. I guess that's gonna be all right.

Here, here, let me read an email. And if people want to email me, you can always email me at MagicTaver and at puppies.supplies. I know it doesn't seem like a real email address. It's really the only thing that I could get. There's something about the firewall from the Burger King.

It's very weird. I mean, honestly, sometimes I feel like it's actively trying to stop me from going certain places on the internet. But anyway, I got experience. What? Use it all. This is really a specially long wizard state from use it all.

Like a lot of use it all today is especially long. It's true. It's like a vehicle. I feel like a lot of use it all. This wizard state is on the edge of the wall. He's smiling. He's smiling. He's smiling. So, okay, let's see, I got an email here.

It says, hi Arnie, Chuck Eustador, and any guest at the minute or sorry about that. No guest this week. I had a question about Eustador's age. He tells everyone all the time about how he was brought into the world fully formed. So he looked like he does now when he was actually a day old.

He was an old man with a long white beard when he was actually a day old. He was an old man With a long white beard when he was 18 years old. Did he lie about his age to people? How weird was it to be young and look like a 300-year-old wizard? Love you guys, Jessica. A lot of sports. You said a lot of what? Don't make me read this email again. No, I could hear it in the Wizard State of course I take in all that's about me when I am in that state I am just focused more so than usual

You know I'm always prepared for anything that comes my way and I shall answer this question Yay the very first day I was born I was fully formed and look exactly as I do now So you're on food you're you come in fully formed as the sort of old grizzled man that you are now. Grizzled a little. And so someone is like, hey, Yusudor, the blue, wizard of the 12th realm of Ephesias, blah, blah, blah, blah, grandmaster of Lighten Shadhoor, the eater of... Man, stop that up.

And they say, you said, how old are you? Like, your third day on Foon, what do you say? I am three days old. And in these three days, I have seen so much, so many wonderful experiences I've had. I, and I bring with me all of my magical prowess, and now I've seen a cat and petited.

Pretty kitty. Well, happy one year anniversary, Arnie. Thank you, Chuchu. It's all, I just want you to know that I love you, Chuchu, and I love you, too, and I'm worried about you, but we're gonna We're gonna figure this out. We're not gonna go quietly into that good night. We're gonna We're gonna solve this. We're gonna curse this person's gonna be overturned, right? You said or? Oh, of course, so we'll just find a cure. We'll just stop the curse

So now we all have a quest the dark lord the lunar sword and my life Three equally important quests. I accept for that my quest. It puts every life and food and balance. I, if I do not succeed, all shall be lost. Well, the best way that you, the listener, can help all three of these quests is to go on to iTunes and to give us a bunch of stars for the podcast. And I think... Wait, will that really help me?

No. No. No. No it won't. But it'll get more people listening to the show and, you know, maybe it'll help. I don't know. Once all the people on Earth hear our message, the great magical prowess that lies there latently, waiting to be unlocked, shall be unleashed and we shall all live out our dreams! Yeah?

Or at least more people will listen. Boom, baby! Hello again, and remember, you may think you've been enjoying a transmission from a distant and magical land, but you've only been listening to 330-somethings argue over hastily manufactured details. Usador the Wizard was played by Math Young, sometimes he whispers and sometimes he shouts, are you writing this down, Ian McKellen? John to the shape shifter was played by Adel Rathai, whose energy level never gets above a B-.

There's a prophecy wide for you. Bungery Chobbins was played by Tom Gottlieb. You may know Tom as the voice of Cookie Master sent from the games You Don't Know Jack and Fibbage. Hello from the Magic Tavan is produced by Evan Schikover, Ryan to Georgie and Arnie Neekampe, edited by Chris Rathchim, logo by Allard Laban, music by Andy Poland. You can follow this fanciful bit of make-upery on Facebook or at Magic Tavern on Twitter. Special thanks to our new home, nosecougar. Sorry, earwolf, and a quick hello

there to the Chicago podcast co-op. Thanks again for listening. Provided you believe none of this really happened, in which case I'll have no cause to send vibrations through this device that will shatter your eyes. Ta-ta! you