Hello From The Magic Tavern - 54 - Witch

Episode Date: March 21, 2016

What's a polite word for hag?CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungClaudia: Beth MelewskiOtok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerKrom the Fingarian: Mark LogsdonFlower: Brooke BreitFoon Law Spokesperson: Sadieh RifaiMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is not real, but it is really part of the Ear Wolf Podcast Network. Ear Wolf, like a lonely carnivorous predator for your ear. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie Neacamp. If you've never listened to one of the previous episodes, that's fine. I mean, I recommend going back to the beginning and listening from there. But you do you, you can start from here. If you haven't listened about a year and two weeks ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger king into the fantastical land of fune.

Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the burger king that I used to upload a podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur at this table, in the town of Hogsface, in the land of Phoon, and I'm joined as always by my co-host. I am Yusudor, Wizard of the Twelfril Mubafesius Master of Light and Shadow, Minimulator of Magical Delights, devourer of chaos, champion of the great halls of Tarakas. The Elbs no me is fying, y'all, the dwarves no me is zoning in hoog stangies,

and I am known in the northeast. As guests, winning as me star, and there may be other secret names you do not know yet, names of such great power and force that if you were to speak them, your skull would be shattered. You said, or your eyes were extra crazy that time. Thank you. And also, my favorite co-host, um, Chant, please clap.

No, no, I'm not doing that again. Chant the talking badger slash sheep shifter. Yeah, that's right. You're a shape shifter. You can turn to numerous different animals. Sure, pretty much always a badger. What's your favorite animal that you've ever been? My favorite animal I've been is probably an owl.

Ooh. Yeah. That's fun. Were you wiser? I was a little bit wiser. I slept with this guy named, he was palo the powerful owl with a cow That was his name. His name was palo, and he was a powerful owl with a cow There's a lot of a iteration in his name. Is there I love that

But I felt like I could stay up all night I was you know partying all the time. It's just like a is a good time I could turn my head all the way around I was gonna ask what does your butt look like? It was just like, uh, it was a good time. I could turn my head all the way around. I was going to ask, what does your butt look like? Uh, it was pretty tight. Nice. Right. I could fly. I mean, I'll, I'll, uh, have it all. Sure. The vision, the flight, the spin their head around all the, you know, but I scabbling down rodents. There's a time. Well, here's the thing. That was the gross part because I ate a run at one time and I started to feel real sick and I thought if I spun my head real fast That would help and then I just vomited as my head spun

Yeah, it's disgusting. I wonder if I can spin my head all the way around try it Don't like to see that I heard I heard No, Oh my god your head is still doing it. No, you broke your neck forever. He's holding the top of his head. I can't look at you. Tadas fiend Tane. I see good as new. Oh, wow. It's mostly better. I still got something weird going on, but, whatever, we just won't look directly at you. Oh, don't look directly at me.

For the very power that exists within my eyes if you looked even if I might destroy you from the inside out. Yes, you're a very fire in your heart would begin to burn. You would say, hey, if I eat something that does not agree with me, but hey, that would not be the truth. The truth would be that a fire does truly grow within sight of ye, and it does begin to burn my heart and I fainse and I blood until you explode all over this taboo.

Anyway, Segway, I've been looking for the lunar sword. Yeah, I know, I've been helping to train you. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, how's that going? It's going all right. Pretty rough. It's a little rough. I'm in helping to train you. Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, how is that going? It's going all right pretty rough It's a little rough. I'm still very much out of shape I'm still I'm still able to get pass clacks the skeleton at the front of the dungeon I'm gotten past the bats past the dripping acid. We were working out

I told him I wanted him to do some crunches and he winked at me and pulled out this rectangular candy bar and started eating I said what is that he, I'm doing crunches. Yes. Nestle crunches. But I have lost a little bit of weight, I'm getting a little bit more in shape, but now I've gotten to the part of the dungeon with puzzles. Oh, fun. Yeah, they're just, but they're, it's like I keep having to move these big pillars with symbols on them and... We said we'd help you. Yeah, I just don't know what any of the mean. I have to do them in the right order.

And then if I don't do it fast enough, they reset to the start. It's wonderful. It's a weird combination of like the brain work and moving fast. It's tough. I see what is happening here. You need the help of Yusador's mighty brain and knowledge of magical incantations and and and ephemera I'll gladly join your quest. Are you good at puzzles? Of course. I mean you say everything that comes up You say you're good at it put forth the puzzle and in Yusador and I will solve it right now. Yes, put forth a puzzle Yeah, put the full of that puzzle.

All right. Here's the puzzle. A man is hurt. So, fearly hurt. Yeah, goes to a hospital or a healing center. And the healer, the doctor says, and the healer, the doctor says, I cannot heal this person. It is my son. It's a memory, Groomland. Yep, that's it. Salt the puzzle. Okay, one more puzzle real fast.

A person in a locked room is dead, but there is no weapon and there's just water, a puddle of water. You stabbed with an icicle. Yes. Is that true? Did I get there? Right? Yep. Wait, what was the question? What was the question? The question was someone died in a room with a puddle of water? Yes Was someone came into the room and Kill them with a sword and left an ice cube there. What's the question? No the room is locked. They locked it on the way out Yeah, you didn't see from the inside What sort of idiotic puzzles of these?

Why was the water there that you wouldn't like a room where they left the dead guy? I don't know this. I there's a drip on the ceiling. All right hit how about okay? Okay, I'm not good with coming up with puzzles obviously listeners. Please send us puzzles For use to run in myself or riddles or whatever to solve so that I get better at puzzles to help on my dungeon crawl to get the lunar sword You can send those puzzles to a chant aima.com as chunt with 60s or Oh, you can send them to magic tavern at puppies.supplies which is a really email address. You can tweet them at at magic tavern. That's my Twitter account at chunt with 60s or at usador the blue. The answer to your riddle is a man. But you know what, let's get to our first guest.

I'm very excited. It's kind of creepy and cool. We've got a witch, sort of grizzled, grizzled hag. Hello, gentlemen. Oh, hello. Just introduce our guest as a grizzled hag. That is the rudest thing you've ever said. And that is the small beat.

I know, I'm sorry. But you, I mean, I've heard worse. Sure. I mean, that's a witch. Is a witch isn't it good to be a grizzled hank? I was grizzled as possible. I'm Claudia. It's Claudia.

It's a pleasure to meet you. Good to see you, gentlemen. Especially you, your little furry thing. Oh, oh, yeah, pet. Oh, pet me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, awarded hand here. Oh, you've got one growing on your lip. Oh, that was really bad in three months anyway. Oh, that's true.

The curse. Hey, I'm so excited. We've had a number of different wizards on the podcast before. Usador, Spin Tax, Can The Wizard. But mostly Usador and Spin Tax. But mostly, I mean mostly Usador. But I haven't met a witch yet Not never never met a witch. Oh, which has never walked into this bar

Not that I know I'm maybe not since Arnold's been here, but it's only been a little over a year a year and two weeks ago I'm a year and two weeks ago I've only seen one time there was a witch or warlock and a goblin locked into a bar. Okay. All right. And then what happened? Is this a puzzle?

No, they just had a drink. And the bartender said, show me your boobs. Zzz. I like that bartender. Oh, thanks. So here's my question. Yes. I know that there can be female wizards. The Yusidor is dating Genleivia.

Wizards are born into the world fully formed. I, we are the very powers of nature, do decree that a wizard must exist, and then we do simply appear. Wiz, which is sorcerers, magic casters, any other type of magic users, usually a person or being an animal who has learned magic over time. Now I need to apologize, I do think I recognize you, Yusidor. Of course. You came into my store in Sensen Amulets, and you bought a crystal for your lady, is that right?

Yes, of course, of course. I enjoy that shop. There's all the manner of magic rock there. Yes, yes, that's my shop, incense and amulets. Incense and amulets? Wow, so you sell incense and amulets? That's exactly a 20% off to the next person who walks in. Wow, fantastic. I have to go. Can I make a... I think that's a great name. Have you ever considered calling the place incense and insensibility?

Oh, no, I have not, you know, I am thinking... That are people I love, isn't it? Well, I'm thinking of branching off, maybe doing some franchising, so that's great. Thank you so much. That is great. So if I were to come into your shop, like what can I buy?

Like obviously incense and the emulence, but amulets, uh, along the east wall, uh, we sell our smelliest types of incense. And then on the west wall, we sell our shiniest amulets. If you put those together, you have incense and amulets. Oh, fantastic. They had the front desks. There's a little bowl with peppermints. You can get incense and peppermint. Oh, use the doors back. I ran all the way to you. I ran all the way to you.

What's the close? There's, yeah, that's locked. Can I have a joke on you? Oh, it's locked. There must be a dead man inside with water all around. Can I ask you, I'm sweating quite a bit here I'm just gonna tread my head all the way. Oh, that's not this drink. Oh, there we go. Ah, Claudette can I ask you just not to get too real. Oh, let's get real.

Okay, I was recently cursed. I'm so sorry. It's fine. I'm learning to deal with it. I was cursed by a coin. Do you have any amulets that might The gate occurs or help me in any manner? Well, I didn't found anything yet. I do want to say in the back. I also run a soup kitchen So that's for anybody to just come in that's very selfless of you. Well, it's it's secret soup So what's in secret soup? It's a secret. Soup in the back.

It's a name. But soup in the back, I feel like something we talked about a little bit on the show. Yes, to be able to put soup in that butt when they come to your soup, you do not worry. And usually we served in a bowl, sometimes a bread bowl. But if you came in, I might be able to mix something up for you that could help. That would be amazing. Any help at all, because I've kind of come to terms with it, but at the same time I want to be... I smell death on you.

Oh, okay, that's fair. Yep. So maybe weed and froth. What? Maybe weed and froth broth. Oh, weed and froth broth? Yes, that's, yes, I might help. What do you smell on Yusador?

You smell death on Chant. Uh-huh. Um, a willingness to love. Very true. I am filled with so much love. I love not only for my sweet genievia, but for all the food, all the children, and all the men and women here who I wish to protect, I every animal, every plant, every bird, how

I love birds. You just smell like birds today. Now I am looking for a husband. Sadly, I'm seeing someone long distance. Well we can change that. Oh, wait, do wizards and witches date? I don't know like what is the what are the feelings between wizards and witches? Well, um, generally positive.

Positive in general, yes. Usually if I smell a willingness to love on on a wizard, I'll get closer if I smell a willingness to punch. I'll get first. Sure. Yeah. Can I ask when a wizard in which'll get closer if I smell a willingness to punch, I'll get further. Sure. Can I ask when a wizard in which do the horizontal dance? Is there a lot of magic that happens? Yes, a lot of times fireworks shoot out of your face or... Yes, of course. Yes, I lost my virginity to a wizard and fireworks shot out of my face. That's why I have all these pock marks. Oh, yeah, I just know a lot of times when I use or when I've been over to your place,

you usually point to your bed and go, this is where the magic happens, but then you point everywhere and say that. Yes, because I like to do it everywhere. Do not take a black light to that place. Magic everywhere. On the ceiling, in the sink, a lot of the sink. Yes, well I am a passionate lover, I cannot deny this, but sadly I fear that there is not much love happening there as my sweet gentle leave is, sadly still so far away from me. Oh, so you don't mind a little witch on the side? Well, I would go for a... I would be inappropriate.

Come see me at incense and ambulance at midnight. Whoa! Every night this week. I cannot deny her gaze. I'll serve you hard soup from a baboon. It will make your growth growl. Her eyes turn completely white. Oh, my God.

This is amazing, you every night this week it ends Hence an hour minutes and exactly midnight Can't resist my song I can't resist my song Oh my god Oh my god I can't believe it's happening Oh this is mexus bro

Oh my goodness I can't believe while I'm feeling Oh man when she sang that I got some Fleetwood Mac Well, I'm open to humans as well No, I've never been with a human. Well, he's open to anything in food. No, it's no, and no Once by accident You're right. I think there's something going on between me and Claudia. Yeah, no, I think why everyone's whispering at me at the same time. We're ignoring Claudia.

Why doesn't everybody come to me at midnight every night this week? Are you casting a spell on us? Maybe. Oh. I draw me in spell. A spell with words, not with turds. Oh, well, I mean, that's good, I suppose. That old saying.

You'll try. I didn't realize the other one was an option. It's an old witch saying my father taught me. Uh-huh. Are male witches? Are they called the same, are they just called witches? Are they called mitches? You can refer to both males and females as witches,

but male witches can also be called warlocks warlocks Claudia How old am I how old are you well? You'd never ask a witcher age Yeah, why did you do that what's wrong with you let's try and guess on three. Let's try and guess on three Two three 72 I'm only 60 I was close to size 72. Oh, okay. I said 370. How how long is again? I apologize if this is a real question How long have you been so grizzled like as I'm asking? I'm really really glad to also fireworks shot out of her face so that'll that's that'll result anyone when I lost my virginity at 10

the fire shot out of my face and I lost my virginity at 10, the fire was shot out of my face, and it's looked like this ever since, you know. Well, witches, witches lose it young, as you used to do it with your gun. Sure, that's what they call it, the tender age. Oh, and let's take a break. Have you or someone you love been in an accident? Are you living without a limb or a horn due to the negligence of a wizard? Most people are too afraid to take a wizard to court, but not grumble, grumble, and mundle.

Are you a hunger ghost that died at an all-you-can-eat buffet? Well, guess what? You still deserve that food and we can get it for you. Are you an elderly vampire that's having a hard time getting out of your house into a local blood bank? Why is food making it so difficult for you to get the blood that you've worked your whole life to obtain? Let grumble, grumble, and bundle get the answers you deserve. Did a loved one die at Bake Out Point? Let us make out a check for your grief. We'll make

sure you get what you deserve in a good way. Remember, we don't get paid unless the other guy cries. Alright, we're back. I'm sorry, Claudi. I didn't get you. Do you want to drink or anything? I can get you something from the bar. Oh, yes. I would love some sludge. Some sludge. Mm-hmm. Okay. A couple shots of sludge. A bar. Oh, yes, I would love some sludge. Some sludge. Mm-hmm. Okay. A couple

shots of sludge. A couple of. Oh, I can throw them back. It's sludge something I should, can I eat? Can I have sludge? Oh, you should not eat sludge. I should not have sludge. I should not drink sludge. No, it would be toxic to you. You would die almost instantly. Because I'm human or just because, are you just saying that I'm weak? I mean a little from a little bit of a little bit of a column B can't you have sludge I can but I tend to dread it It strengthens my witch innards. Yes makes my heart stronger and my lungs thicker. Oh Lungs thicker

longer and my lungs thicker. Oh, lungs thicker. That's just some nice, thick lung of a witch is a very prized possession. Oh, check out the lungs on that witch. Watch it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's actually a compliment. The laws prevent it now, but many centuries ago, if you

killed a witch or a witch passed away of natural causes and you could take her, her lungs lungs her thick powerful lungs or his thick powerful lungs You could then use the Mater from that to cast all manner of spell that absorb Spills quite easily. Oh wow. Yeah, I used it one. I think that I heard somebody cast a spell is like me tied O T Walker Is that is that a spell me tied to T.er me ty toty walker me ty toty walker Let's say two more time me ty doty me ty doty walker me ty doty walker. Do you think I'm me? Me ty doty walker middle of the sun still shining. I can't tell if anything me ty toty walker

The sun's still shining. I can't tell if anything. Mithai Todi Walker. Mithai Todi Walker! Hello. Oh, that's it. You should know. Uh-oh. He's turned into a bucket of glue. Whoa, he's sludge. He's a bucket of sludge. Oh!

Sludge dread. Whoa. I have forced myself back into my wizard form. How dare you turn me into a bucket of sludge right here. How you liked it? Just a little bit. Don't test me, witch. I shall fight back if I need to. I see Wi-Fi. Witch by the way.

Witch by the way. You know I hear some of my question. Who's, who's, who's magic is more powerful? Wizard, magic or wizard. Duh, a witch. No. Ha, ha, ha. I say we have a spell off.

Oh, fine. Fine. Alright. I'm going to, I'm going to turn this napkin hold up into a spoon. I like how you explain it before the old speaking spell I know how to do a wizard fight. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just I'm fine I'm waiting I'm finding a way to participate first of all tell me how he was a vibes you seeing I've seen go with which end wizard I haven't seen any I you saw the death What the I did see the soul walker fight. I have not seen enough Wi-Fi. I would like to see a Wi-Fi now

I once saw one of these were The wizard turned into like a squirrel and then the witch turned to a squirrel and then he turned into like an elephant She turned into a mouse. I was just like I'm gonna turn into animals. Huh Yeah, right there a spoon. Oh bravo bravo Thank you Well, I'm going to turn chunt into a candy heart. Wait what? Briefly. Yes. Oh

Thanks Welcome back, chant. How do you feel? Weird. You're OK. I'm here to break my neck. Oh no. So much neck breakage. Now who wins?

I have to say, body of spell is a lot more impressive than yours. Thank you. I get another chance. OK, round two. Ding ding. Why did you make that note? Turn on the insect candy. No!

For my next trick, I shall make Arnold. Floten the air. Oh boy. Come on, I've lost some weight! Caw! Caw! Holy, nice! Think of it! Tell us! Oh, I... Oh, I think I'm...

Dennis... Boat, Boat, Boat. Oh, one of his eyeballs just popped. Oh, I'm so nervous. Jesus. I felt weird. I felt like weird tingly fingers on my butt, like pushing up. Yes, tingly magic fingers on your butt.

Just trying to lift me up. Yes, tingly magic fingers on your butt. Just trying to lift me up Well, that was something you said are please pop your eyeball back. Oh, no problem We call that that's a wizard state of process When you feel a finger in your mind The process the prostate. No, it's a wizard state of the prostate. So, okay, prostate. And now for my peace to resistance. Wizard, witch. Wizard, witch. Chant and use to draw your heads will switch. Oh, no!

Oh, I'm so furry. I am chant. Wow. Oh. That looks a weird thing. Master of the Forest nearby. Oh. Changling and shape shifter.

Son of a hungo ghost and menta-core. The Arne's know me as chunt baby. Yusador knows me as, oh yeah, chantine. And now no more time to attack, switch those heads back. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was very impressive. I cannot not. That was fun to sell. Oh, hi, my dog. Whoa, whoa, whoa. That was very impressive. I cannot do that. That was funny, so.

Oh, I'm getting nervous. Again, again, again. You can now switch their genitalia. No, thanks. Oh, look down. Oh, I got a wizard dick. I have a badger dick. Wee!

Look, all I'm saying is, back. Switch back. Oh, that was so fast. I was saying, give me a week. No, no, thank you No offense just you know, I like my boys where they are you're gonna be so for a week come see me I'll give you an amulet to rub on there I'm sorry to have right now that you're sweet. Well, hello. Oh, I've got a chill in my spot. Claudia, I have a question about your seduction,

Dad. Yes, sir. So that you clearly have. Thank you. Can you seduce someone who isn't willing to be seduced? Oh. That makes any sense. Absolutely. When you've sucked on emulates for as long as I have,

you certainly can. Wait, you get the power from Amulets by sucking on them. Yes, if you've been doing it wrong the whole time I just wear them around my neck with a chain. Oh Boring is it? D-try something new. I Did recently put some soup in my butt That's no I'm gonna be honest. I did not care for it Why would you it's wet? I don't know. I think we just we talked about it

a couple weeks ago and then I thought it's brings up a good question. I put super my butt. What? What kind of soup was it? What kind of soup? It was a chicken soup with with lentils and tomatoes. Well we're an all-chowder operation over at the soup kitchen, so maybe that'll be a little nukia for you. Crack! I will! It's a good point. I don't... I... should I keep putting soup in my pot? On earth do you guys have what's called off the rails? What will I learn by continuing to put SuperbikeWatt? Come see me at midnight. And we will come see you at midnight. Shout out to Power.

Shout out to Power. I think there's something between me and Claudio. Well, Claudio, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Thank you for letting me stop by. Yeah, it's great. Hopefully we should see more of you around. Yes, and in Sense and Amulets, we're open seven days a week 8 a.m. to 12 a.m. comes. Well, okay.

Suck on a rock. Right, you know what I think about it. I could put all kinds of food in my body. Right? Yeah, all- yeah, you could. Only thing stopping you is the willingness to do it. Hmm. Do you think it will help? I- help what? Need to feed the dog to do it. Hmm. Do you think it will help? Help what? Need to feed the dog a little more.

Good heart. Good point. Uh, chun, have you got any emails this week? Uh, yeah, I have a few here. This is to chun a chimalocomo, six teas. Uh, this is from Casey Briggs. Casey Briggs writes, I could use some chun to me. So, can you slap Arnie for being so smug?

No one on Earth loves it when he says people on Earth love it. Also, the subject line I could use some chunton me, get at me from Casey. That's aggressive. No, I'm dry, no. What is get at me a challenge? Yeah, I don't really have any direct answers

to that email besides, it brings up the question chat. How do you pick which emails you read? It's just a random. It's just a random. It's that email to same like a bunch of gibberish. Well, I get a lot and I just randomly select them. So here's one from Kirsten.

Kirsten writes, help me fulfill my fortune. Hey, Chant, a fortune teller told me that it was my destiny to meet a shapeshifter. I tried to find a portal behind the Burger King Arnie left through, but I didn't have any luck. Logically, I think you must be destined to come to Chicago to meet me. By the way, I think you'd make a cute human. Kirsten, with 7 ends. Wow. Yeah, people love the Chant.

But I think me and Claudius have something to do with me. I will see you at midnight. I will see you at midnight. Wait, so are these guys gonna- Wait, give me an emerald that shines of green. Me and Yusador, let's switch peens. Bala! Nothing happened. I'm not a wizard. Okay, I have an email about resonance stones.

Hey guys, I was curious about the resonance stones Yusador gave Otoch in the- in a recent episode. Mostly in terms of broadcasting your podcast, food and side, sort of like normal talk radio here on YouTube. about the resident stones used to be orgave otok in the recent episode. Mostly in terms of broadcasting your podcast, Foonside, sort of like normal talk radio here on earth. I remember a while back that otok was a little skeptical of the podcast bringing in business

for the familiar minotaur. And wondered if resident stones were available to the Foonish public or if they were a commodity, slash rarity. So the residents' stones you gave to Otockin' his quest a while back, so they could transmit their adventures back to us. Yes, they're very rare indeed. It's very uncommon to come across a single resident stone, let alone two. And then once you find two, you must tune them together so that they can Connect and communicate with one another

Okay, but if I suppose we could we could try to get the podcast onto a magic box Oh, that's true. Yeah Gabe Bennett's email I think was just asking if we use a resonance stone some more people in food could hear the podcast Yeah, why would they catalyst into the show? You don't know anything about earth and then they would just meet people They would meet here and their regular lives every day. It sounds boring as hell. Yeah, I guess that's right I wonder what's going on with otok I am sensing a message from the resident stone Eden now. Oh my gosh

Are we we're gonna get a message from otok? Crom the Hungarian and flower Okay, so I'm just turning the old rock on here It's otok checking in. There's one to say hi From here. Hello. Wow We got a fire got the fire going pretty good. I'm got the fire going. It took you a long time to get the fire started.

There's treelins you were rubbing together. I think we're just too big. Well, it worked, didn't it? It's great. It's a warm fire. We're all happy. Fire just, let's sing us a little song. Is it thank God God fucking fire started.

It always cold in balls. That's the chorus. And then we're saying it like 30 times. It's supposed to be around, but nobody else going in. So we're feeling good spirits are up. Things were pretty morale, I would say, took a pretty deep dive today when we got lost. That's true.

Let's say maybe to say something that you... That's something good that happened today. Well, okay. I can't think of anything, so you guys go first. It was a good thing when we met that tree... That kind of guided us. That crum took his limbs. Right, right.

Well, I didn't know. I thought it was... Right, but he did that after he guided us. It was not a good... I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don a tree. I think that actually was my favorite part of the house. We ran like hell. But the tree still helped us in the long run twice, twice over. I was totally confused. I just started running because you guys, because you started running.

Right. Well, we got at the poor things we got out of there. We got our back on the right track, thanks to that poor tree, a poor limelustry. So I felt good about that in the long run. It was bittersweet, but we're feeling good. We feel like we know where we're going. There's rumor of the falsetto marauders, kind of a little bit further on, and it's spirits are high. Not only am I learning more about the land of food,

but I'm learning more about you guys, which is quite a treat. I was like, when you spend a lot of time with someone, you really get to know them, like the good sides and the bad sides, you know. I've had a broken family for a while now and having been with the two of you is really, it's been a lot to me.

Are you crying? No, it's the, Is it the dusty road? Yes, it's the dusty road. Thank you, Crown. Here, I'll try to blow the dust away. No, please. You blew the fire out of it. It's not my tunic. I'm going to go get some more sims.

I'll go get some more wood. Eat some toast, too. Oh, wow. Ah! Oh wow! I guess it's good to hear that Otock and Crom and Flower are still off looking for Otock's daughter. It sounds like everything is going swimmingly. Well, Clawingya, thank you so much for stopping by. Thank you, gentlemen. I'll see you this week. I'll see you this week. I'll see you this week.

All right, well, you said orange. I'm very excited next week to hear how your midnight excavates go. Do people plot it? Will they remember anything that happens when they visit you? Arne Arne, you'll come to walk through the doors midnight, not noon. I walk through the doors at midnight. Or noonhmm. Or noon, I can't remember. Midnight, damn it. Well, what a lovely stroll down Make-A-Mups Avenue that was. It's fun to pretend, and it's fun to put our pretendings away, and remember that none of this is happening and requires no further investigation.

Chant the Talking Badger was played with some degree of success by Adel Raphai. Usador the Shouting Wizard was played by Matt Young, the Shouting Human. Claudia the Witch was played by Beth Melluski. If you're in Chicago, April 5th, check out Beth and a few other former magic tavern guests performing at the annoyance theater to raise money for Chicago books to women in prison. It's a good cause and it will be a great show. Also, find Beth on Facebook and ask her about Bike Helmet Safety if you've got a year to kill and an inexhaustible attention span. The Foon Law Spokesperson, did she have a name?

Anyway, it was played by Sadea Rafaie. So, that's where the acting talent went in the Rafaie family. Oh, and if you're new to these series of audio recordings, you should meet my assistant Craig. He volunteered to help out and nothing gives him more pleasure than doing the parts of the credits that no longer interest me. Craig? I did not volunteer. I'm here trapped against my will and you said it by- You should see the way his face lights up as he muddles through the nuggets of exposition I grant him. Hello from the Magic Tavan is produced by R&NE Camp, Evan Chikover, and Ryan D. George

this one edited by Ryan D. George. Music by Andy Poland, logo by Allard LeBon, extra sound effects, wonderment by Jason Knox. I'm also supposed to say that Matt Young, Yusodar, is on the March 15th episode of Mark Solof's Blastropodcast. So, for more Matt, check out that. Thanks to the Chicago podcast, co-op, thanks to Ear Wolf.

Make sure to leave us a good review on iTunes or go talk to us on Twitter and Facebook and, you know, social media. Why Craig, you're like the son whose memory I raced and sent out into the world about 10 years ago and really could look like anyone at this point. That is oddly specific. Would you like some dust that was on the box of cookies I just finished? I would, yes. I would, yes.