Hello From The Magic Tavern - 67 - Ooze

Episode Date: June 20, 2016

I stepped on some ooze in the dungeon and then became friends with it...him...them?CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungOoze: Paul GrondyBlemish: Martin WilsonMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is not real, but it is really part of the earwolf, you'd know wait that was correct, the earwolf podcast network. And it's still sponsored by Cards Against Humanity, bless their misguided hearts. If you should want to send a care package to Foon, send it to, cards against humanity, 1917 North Elston, Chicago, Illinois, 60642. Care of, Arnie Neacamp, Vermillion Minotaur, Town of Hogspace, Land of Foon. Enjoy the show. I'll be over here, not enjoying the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune, I'm your host Arneanie Camp, if you

never listened to the podcast before, this is the stuff you need to know. A little over a year ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind Burger King in Chicago into the fantastical magical land of fun. Luckily, I'm still getting a sort of intermittent Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through dimensional portal, and I use that to upload a podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the town ofsface in the land of Foon. And I'm joined as always by my buddies, my good friends, my people, I'm glad are alive. Shun the talking badger. I'm back baby. Yeah. I hate you. You're so alive. I know you were just-

For the very first time. You've just been fist bumping all week you have Yeah, boom, I'm glad I taught that to you. Yeah, I love it All right, and we are also joined by The elves Nomeas fear the dwarves Nami is zone in a new stingy's and I'm known in the North East is guess me. It's me star There are other secret names I will never tell bag feed

Cry throw a little bit. I don't care Please come on please just one more one more. I mean it's rare. There's a week that you don't tell us another one Nope up this week is one of your name's fruit confusion is not is one of your names Susan Doku Yeah, baby Yeah, baby! Wow. Here's the thing. I feel like you have an almost infinite number of names, so the any just sort of like gibberish phrase we throw out there.

There's a decent chance it's correct. That is correct. Is Susan Doku your name when you dress up like a lowbine? Well, no, actually it's more specific than that. I transform myself into a woman and then I teach math at the University of Phoenix. You teach, so you're just teaching people to count Doku? Exactly. I though was not the University this week for I did travel to the nearby town of Skur, where I

list to any... Rubbley's about the death of Elbein Belderoth. Yeah, guys, I have not- Let's keep that, let should we call about it? Let's not- I have not heard no news yet. It has not traveled here, so news to travel slow and through an obviously. Death of the King is an important thing.

Okay, so maybe he's not dead, maybe he's not dead. We know, we'll find out. Alright, great. Well, you know what? Let's- Let's just have a nice, great week. Let's enjoy each other's company And let's I'm very excited to talk to our guest. I don't think he has a name. He wouldn't tell it to me We're just joined by some where's yeah Yeah, we're joined by some ooze

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry ooze. How would you like to be addressed just ooze have a gender? Oh, ooz, how would you like to be addressed? Just ooz, have a gender? No, oh, oh god, no. No, he sounds like he's always choking. I know, are you okay? Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on Drink anything. Did you forget the word drink? If he doesn't eat a drink, why would he know the words? Yeah, why would you know the words for those things? You guys didn't know that, that's the secret of the eaters drink. So guys, I met this ooze in the dungeon.

I started to get back into my quest for the lunar sword. So every day I go down there, I fight, clacks, the skeleton, and I've finally gotten to the part with the ooze, and I've kind of become friends with ooze. Whoa, oh, yeah, well, really, oh. I mean, I don't even think that seems like news to the ooze. No, I, uh, never really thought anyone thought about us, once they get, once they step over us.

Ooze can I ask, um, what separates you from the other who's what's your nothing? Personality, okay. Oh, no I mean they're all exactly identical. They're also they're all like if I had another ooze in here I'd be we'd have the exact same conversation Absolutely and if you cut this one in half you'll just have two of them that's right. Wow. Can we do it right now? No? Oh, go ahead. Go ahead. I hear Oh, there's twos. Zero, what's it?

Here we are, one who's there. Yeah, you went right back together. And it was weird when you were in two pieces, you just spoke in stereo, anyway, like, oh yeah, once a news starts talking, then the other news is pretty much talked the same. Sure. You said where can you cut him in half one more time?

No, you're not. And now can you guys maybe tell a knock-dock to each other? Oh, oh, sure. Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting oozes. Interrupting oozes.

Psh. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Amazing. He interrupted himself. That's everything I wanted to be be wonderful. You seem like a very Miracle chap are you are you are you evil? No, just that you work for the forces of evil trying to keep people out of it. No, we don't you don't know we don't Oh, I do this is getting super defensive

No, we don't I do is getting super defensive No, the people who come to the dungeon these people are wonderful done fortunately if they step in us We're gonna have to sort of you way Slowly it what they're wearing oh So you're acidic is yes, oh, it's just a nature they're out. They have no agenda. Yeah. Yeah, you know, would you put a little top hat on that is? Would you like to wear top hat? Sure! Bing! Well, this is all incidentally.

How did it look? I mean, it was great for like a second. Yeah, it was great. Yes. That was awesome. I would love to do someday, it's like, be poured into some sort of containment device. And just take the shape of that containment device. Yeah. Just long and also that sort of have a shape. What shape do you want most? Oh like a vase. Oh like a like a vase with a how would you describe it? Guys I'm actually really surprised he says vase and some things. Hey he's a sophisticated is probably a vase. It's got a hole in it It has the top where the flowers would be

Mm-hmm, and it separates around a center and then a nice sturdy base sort of like an oh Wow, it seems like he put a lot of thought into this. Oh, she's nothing else to do down there guys What kind of shape would you be? I would take the shape of a great Master of magic. They would defeat the shape of a great master of magic. They would defeat the Dark Lord of Foon. I, that evil Dark Lord that does plot against the seed now, I his means be all around us, yellow eyes peeking out from the darkness. They're hell bent on destroying us all.

Go what shape then? Oh, probably, probably mostly like this, but maybe a little more square, like a little more ripped more square. Oh sure Oh, I would take the shape of me at 25 but like better. How old are you now 54? 40 40. Yes. I mean I can I've I've changed have you changed so many shapes so many times I guess I probably wouldn't be a rhino there been been a rhino. That would be fun. That would be fun. Yeah, sounds good. A bartender, can we have some more ails over here?

I'd also like a roast chicken. I'm gonna put some chicken on you and see if you can eat it. You know what's gonna happen. Well, I might be delicious for them. Do you, what is it like? What is the physical sensation you experience when people dissolve into your things, dissolve into you?

Oh, it's like a feeling where you become the person and you know all of their memories and you actually for just the tiniest moment you are that person and then you just begin the use again so you don't retain it It's like flowers for Aljornon. They're like a second. That's a it's an earth thing. All right. The little flower geno is. Now he says, bass. He's just switching it up for fun. Yeah. Well, he's been in like a bill. How many people have you dissolved? How many people have you been? Many different ways can you say things? I'm curious to find out. How many people um, I believe it or not, it's pretty easy to get out of me. You basically have to be mortally wounded and fall into me.

I mean I was able to get you here and I'm kind of like an idiot when it comes to dungeon area. Yeah, that's true. I mean a little vinegar will clean you right off. Sure. Do you have any like favorite people you've absorbed? I remember this one paladin. Think he was a dwarf who was super tiny in fat. Probably a dwarf. Sure. Where's a tiny fat person? Apparently he was super good at singing and I thought just for a glimmer or a second. I could sing a tune or something.

Wow, oh, hey, can I ask, because you have such a deep rich baritone. It's here in food, I don't know if you know this Arnie, we have these things called hair cuttery quartets, where it's like four people sing without any instruments. And we just kind of make that up on the spot. Would you give us maybe a little LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADERO LADER It's very good. It's about a man who makes music and then everyone comes and watches his show. Oh, can I say something? Can we try that again with a quartet?

All four of us? Okay. Yeah, just more of a do. So maybe we just start with like some dumps or some doo-doo-doo's. Sure. And then we'll get into it. Very, very, very... Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do And a man who makes music. This is a show about me making music. Enjoy the music I make. That was totally listenable. It's like, everyone is going through.

Really? Wow, I do not want to hear any of the other ones. You know what, actually, let's take a quick break. Trust me, it's going to stick in your head. You're going to have trouble not humming it to yourself. Sure. Let's take a quick break. And then we'll come back and learn about other things that aren't the music man Blemish returns it as I blemish the new owner and all powerful proprietor of the vermilion minitar Since my former master O-Talk Bali for abdicated his role here

in Minotaur, since my former master O'Talk Bali fought abdicated his role here. With this successful coup my bowler and influence grows, soon all of Hogsface will kneel before me to kiss my knuckles, my hairy knuckles, jacked as they are from dishwashing, and scarred from the cooking flames. In the meantime, me here at the So we're back. I have a question for you. Who's it all related to the gelatinous cube? I'm close to a gelatin. Yes, sir. And I'm close to anything that can be described as gelatinous. Well, I don't want to make you jealous,

because I know you desperately want to take some shape. Oh, yes. But often in my travails through dungeons I have come across gelatin in the shape of cubes that you must then battle. Did you hear used to or said travails instead of travels? I know. Why is everyone producing words a week here? I don't know. It's hard for me to know when people are pronouncing things on a weird way. I know what I'm doing. No, it sounds very interesting. Um, but nope. I don't know one. Whenever you're bored, do you and the other parts of the used ever played these ball? Oh, yeah, I know.

So we take up. One of us will knock down a stone with knocks the skeleton's head into some of us. And as long as we can Usually about a week while the skeleton skull slowly dissolves will roll it around Oh, that sounds so fun. Oh Just thinking about it Oh, I want to do it. That is not what I thought is about Wow, oh great the chickens here. Oh, okay. Yes,. All right. Yeah, I'm gonna give you a chicken leg. I'm gonna set it on top of you.

Already? How did you taste it? You tasted something. Yeah, I'm not. Sure, tastes like chicken. That's fair enough. Yeah, fair enough. Yeah, did you get any scent,

like, do you get any sense of the chicken? Oh, sure. Like in its life? Sure. Chicken two years old. Yep. Add family. Wow, that chicken had a family. For brothers and sisters. And then oh, well no. Oh no. Oh, we're gone. No, you can. Oh, so something bad was about you are about to discover a bad

I don't know for sure memory someone fortunate thing happened to this chicken before it was I'm gonna dig into this my guess was it was killed. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, of course Yeah, of course it was probably some sort of axe. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I really want to see you dissolve a person use it or just jump on them. Oh dude, just um, it just takes so long though. Yeah. And usually they can just like stand up and shake you off, right? Oh, absolutely. If the person is alive, stepping into me, it's very easy to get me off. As I said, just still the vinegar can get me off. Uh, are we just listening things that get you off?

Yeah. What you say? Yeah. They're still, they're still vinegar, get you off your Pope stick we're up Sticking you off. I'm glad I don't have my stick on anymore. I don't want to get this guy off with my stick arm Broad sword room sure outside to get you off Just let's go and sand probably just like rubbing sand on you And probably just like rubbing sand on you. For you off. I mean, it's friction in general seems to get you on. Friction gets me off sometimes, yeah.

Usually you have to do a fair amount of rubbing. Yeah. You know what, so your dream is to have a shape, right? But you slowly dissolve through most things. You said, could you conjure, or is there some material that is ooze proof? Well, certainly, led would take longer to dissolve. Yeah, but I know, but not just things that don't make it take longer. I mean, this, like, what about something?

Is there something permanent? Something that we could just put him in and he could have that shape? Well, I suppose I could cast a spell to put you into a shape and then you would be sort of held up magically into that shape. Would you like to be the shape of a person or Replace the shape of a buzz or a Vassie of this a Would it be permanent? It wouldn't have to be permanent. I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't want to be anything other than who's Well, could he could you do the spell and and make him a vase and then later on take him out of that shape, like a vasectomy or something.

I don't know what a vase is. You scalded that. It's like a vase. Oh, yeah. Yeah, as my gift to you tonight is our guest. Oh. I shall make you into the shape of a vase or vase. Read.

And it shall only last for the remainder of the show. How does that sound? Oh, great. Yeah, it's fine. Great, okay. Heh. Teren Holt. Kant.

Tenten, Tets, Threth, Wempeld. Ooh. Hey, how do I look? And you look good. You look very good. What is the Shook? Is there a mirror? Oh, yes.

There's a mirror right away. I have bartender. bartender, can we's the shit? Is there a mirror? Oh yes, there's a mirror right over here. bartender bartender can we see the the looking glass please? Yeah yeah there you go. Whoa world-hired look at this guy. Yeah you look handsome and sound. Yeah. Do you think the other ooze would be jealous if they saw you in this shape? Oh I don't know. I mean they knew I was coming up here. When you reconnect with them won't they also share this memory though. Oh, as soon as I reconnect with the rest of the use, they'll, you know, they'll have had the experience

that I've had. Oh wow. So I want to hear more, a little bit more about working in the dungeon. Oh, sure. Do you have any advice for Arnie as he makes you deeper into the tunnel? And so you're coming in, you're coming, bud?

Yeah, I'm trying to get the lunar sword. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm trying to get the lunar sword. Oh You're oh he lit up Okay now we're on to some days Okay, I don't go down that area very often, but if you can go through really really tiny crevices and walls Now you're done for Then you go pretty much anywhere. But you have to sort of be able to be flexible, you have to bend in certain areas

and elongate yourself and turn yourself into a slow drip sometimes. Yeah. Some part you have to get into almost like a vapor. Ah. Ah, he is more of a slow drip than a vapor. Yeah, fair enough. Are there any like monsters?

Like you've seen deeper parts of the dungeon. Are the things I should be worried? Like where I'm gonna have to confront or fight. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff down there that rip you to shreds, bro. Oh no. Here's a Hydra. A Hydra.

Oh, many heads. Oh, hail the Hydra. Oh, she's awful. How is she not like, do you have like a bad relationship with the Hydra. A Hydra. Any hits. Well, hail the Hydra. She's awful. How is she not like, do you have like a bad relationship with the Hydra? She's terrible to us. Hey, there's something you could have formed me into. What's that, Hydra?

Hydra. You know what, I would go up to that lady Hydra. In fact, it's stay as a Hydra. I'm telling her something. Let's see, you know what, here, use the door, you be the female Hydra. Do I have to actually change into one? Can't, you can do that. I can't her something. Let's see, you know what? Here, use the door. You be the female Hydra. Do I have to actually change into one? Can't you do that? Of course.

What? Who's that? How the cop? Oh, I bet this. Oh, this is terrifying. I bet this is what Susan Doku looks like. So who's, what do you want to say to this Hydra? Hey, you know, we live here too.

We're part of this dungeon just like you are you will not destroy us we are And we deserve a certain amount of respect You know what you're right, and I hear what you're saying And I apologize you because I would stick you for granted that you were like a puddle of water or something. I can realize you're sentient. Thanks for saying that. You're welcome. Yeah. Feel a little bit better. You feel better Hydra? Do you feel better? Wait, you said you're a while you're a Hydra. Can we just... Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo same. They really just comes to the town and says he likes to make music that's old. It took the composer 17 years to write that musical. Really? What happened to him after the show was open? Hydra. Hydra ate him. Yes. I couldn't eat that. I didn't ask you to do it in the first

place. But I feel a little bit better. Was that helpful or was that kind of like before something on you? No, no, no, no, it's good practice. I mean wish I could just go ahead and do that tour when I see her. Yeah, tell her off. You know for yourself, man. It's not, it's not easy. There's a whole sort of, you know, hierarchy in the dungeon. Yeah.

Are you, are you in like, as ooze, are you like at the bottom of the hierarchy? Or is there anyone below ooze? No, no one really wants to be ooze or you would like at the bottom of the hierarchy or is there anyone below ooze? No, nobody really wants to be ooze. Yeah, even the insects and bugs have a better than us, I guess. Making me sad again. I'm so sorry. I mentioned the Lunar Sword. Yeah, I'm going for the Lunar Sword.

Good luck. You know what, I'm going to get the Lunar Sword and I'm going to kill that Hydra. Arnie, if you're going to make those promises, you guys should shake on it. It's gonna burn my hand. Is it? Yes, it will. But super, super slowly. Ronald, once you reach the Hydra,

I think you should make a promise tonight that you'll invite Oos to watch you kill the Hydra. Okay. Wouldn't that make you happy? That would be wonderful Just um sort of just start talking we can hear you Even if we're not exactly at that level once we get all moving together as a group we move pretty fast. Oh wow Who's travels fast? Well ooze thank you so much for being here and

You know, I'll also try to get you back to the dungeon soon. Oh, I really appreciate being turned into this for Zays This guy won't quit So we've been getting more and more packages just kind of shoved through the dimensional Portal behind the Burger King and we should go through some of these here's one that I got says portal behind the Burger King and we should go through some of these. Here's one that I got says, hi RB. We're big fans of the podcast and wanted to get you something to remember your wife by. Hopefully you can play this on your computer for Chant and you sit or two and it's a Smashmouth CD. If you have not found a cure for Chant's curse by the time you get this message then this CD can help. We We have. I don't want to talk about

it. If you listen to this CD enough times, you may be able to trick the person to thinking you're dead on the inside. Six Smash Mouth Burn. Alternatively, if Chunt is dead, then try leaving your laptop on, playing it by his grave for a few days. Chances are he will return from death just to turn it off. Cheers Cheers Patrick and Alan. I'm alive, baby. Yeah smash mouth all This is smash mouth all star smash hits finally he will be able to hear smash mouth wait aren't all their hits smash hits I mean no never mind. Uh, Shawn, what about you? What did you get? Oh boy? I got a package here. This is from Andy T.Arx Should I read his address? No. Okay. He lives in Mieluuke.

Wee. Yep. Uh, oh boy. Holy cow. It's a crocheted chance. It has maize. She would. That's amazing.

It's an anatomically correct jund. Holy cow. I'm glad you got your arm back. All right. It actually fits. This is fantastic. Thank you, Andy. I you got your arm back. So it actually fits. This is fantastic. Thank you, Andy. I also got another package here.

Hi, Arnie Chant and you said, or big fan of the podcast. Here's some candy from my land on Earth, Mexico. Hope you like it. A question, if when Chant dies, where would he like to be buried? I hear it's quite uptown. I appreciate that. Yes, it is quite uptown. And also I have gone through the unimaginable. It looks like we got some Vero Mango candy.

Mango flavored Hard candy lollipops coated with chili. Oh, bless you. I'm still recovering from last week. Is all people eat on earth candy? That's all we're getting. I think people want you to try all this candy, John. Here, do you want to try all this candy, John.

Here, do you want to try some chili-covered mango pop? Take a look here. Oh wow, it's like a little flame. Let's take a look here. Okay. That good. I'm gonna go order a drink to wash that out of my mouth. Throw it on the ooze. At least they sent a big bag. Ooze catch. Oh, oh, we're here when this is terrible.

All right, well, thank you so much ooze and guys, I'm just happy. They were all alive for now. Yeah. Yeah, I like to make music. I walk around to make music. I go up. Music is the thing that I make. I'm a man who likes to make music. Might as well be walking in on the sun. Well, is your throat tired from feasting on all of those fanciful imaginings? Allow me to place the cherry on top of your dream Sunday by telling you that none of that really happened. It was just human actors slowly running out of ideas. Humans like Matt Young portraying Usador the wizard. If there were in the world for volume control, I would place that award in a tiny cabinet. Eat the key, poop out the key, take the award back out of the cabinet and then not give it to Matt Young.

Junt the King of the Badgers was played by Adel Raphai, who's glad he survived. So that's the sound of thousands of Earthlings not raising their hands. The ooze was played by special guest Paul Grondi, who has the time to appear on this podcast while he waits for Paul Giamatti to make a mistake. And Blemish was played by Martin Wilson again. This narrator smells trouble at home.

Craig, you copper-tongued monument, take it away. Hello from The Magic Tavern was produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Jacober, and Rian DeGeorgi. This one edited by Rian DeGeorgi. Music by Andy Paulin, to logo by Aller LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz. Visit us at hellofromthemagictavern.com

or on Facebook or Twitter, thanks to the Chicago podcast co-op and Earwolf. Oh, we're doing a live show at stage 7773 in Chicago on July 9th. So there's gonna be a live episode of the show and then after that a special bonus chun's night episode. Yes, chun's night is happening. So you want to see it, you got to be there. You can get tickets for that by going to teamstarkid.com slash firebringer and scrolling down to the late night tickets. Um, the shows at 730, I don't know why, that's late night. Maybe people just want to go to bed, maybe people with parents, but you know, whatever.

So Craig, there really isn't a ward for volume control and I really did eat the key. So now we wait. Okay, I'll get the aquarium net.