Hello From The Magic Tavern - 68 - The Princess and the Eunuch

Episode Date: June 27, 2016

Princess Trachea Aurealia Belaroth is back to talk about her path to the throne and who might help her make it happen.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungPrincess Trachea-Aurelia Belaroth: Megan O'NeillBenedict Whisperbrew: Brendan DowlingBlemish: Martin WilsonMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Evan JacoverTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm watching you cards against humanity's staff. Enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun. I'm your host Arneanie Camp and if you've never listened to the podcast before, this is all you need to know. A year and a couple months ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger king, like you do, into the fantastical, magical land of fune. Luckily I'm still getting a bit of a Wi-Fi signal from that Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload a podcast I record every week, here in, Wizard of the Twelfth Realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, Minipulator of Magical Delights, Devourer of Chaos, Champion of the Great Holes of Trockus.

The Elves Numi is feeling, the dwarves Numi is zooming in in who's stingy, and I am known in the North East as guess Winnius Maystar, and there may be other secret names. I shall never reveal. Okay, if Ius Maystar, and then maybe other secret names. I shall never reveal. Okay, if I were, oh, okay. Yeah, don't. Okay, don't reveal any names. It wasn't going to. Yeah, but if you were think, but if you were like,

maybe I'll give them one if they ask. Well, I don't even know why I brought it up, so never mind. Please don't. Hey, guys, sorry, I'm late. Oh, hey, Janet. I was just singing out. I got a new group of friends. A new group of friends. Yeah, don't worry, I'm late. Hey, Janet. I was just hanging out with a new group of friends.

A new group of friends. Yeah, don't worry, don't worry. It's just I've been hanging out. I got a me and two other kings, two other animal kings. Two other animal, that's right. A chunt is King of the Badger. The Badger is still. And I've been hanging out with Angelo.

He's the King of the Ottermen. He rules the Ottermen Empire. And then there's also Jeremiah the King of the horses. King of the horses. We've been hanging out. We've been causing some trouble, getting up to some goose and gags, and we call ourselves the, since we're all kings, the insane crown passing. Oh no. Jug it now. What? The insane crown passing. Yeah, because we're crazy. We get upset. We'll like go somewhere into skies. And like as someone's talking,

we'll interrupt and be like, silence a message from the king and then we'll take their drinks and throw them against the wall. Oh, wow. It sounds awful, frankly. I mean, it sounds really destructive. But then we buy them two drinks

to make up for the one drink we threw. Oh, that's better. So I have a question about the king of the horses. Jeremiah, is he, so is he king of Grimhoof? Of course. And Grimhoof is the Grimhoof the fifth fastest horse in food and my boon companion. Wow. Jeremiah is the second fastest horse in food. Who is the fastest horse in food? Well it changes a lot. You know, they run races and they figure out who's fastest right now.

Right now it's a serendipity. That's the name? Yep, serendipity. Wow, serendipity. Serendipity, coming around the corner. Serendipity, taking the lead. Serendipity, Whidden. Oh wow.

So there's a king of every type of animal? Oh yeah. And then there's, but there's multiple human kings and that'll... Well, how could there not be a king of every type of animal? Do you want anarchy everywhere? Oh, what if there's no king of the cows and they they just decided to like run wherever they want it and stab whoever they wanted The cows are stabbing people if they don't have a king's most certainly Oh, I guess I don't want anarchy

Speaking of kings. This is a tough time. There was news. We got this week that we had known that we had known nothing about before this. Are you putting your hand up to your neck and waiting it back and forth? I'm just saying that we got some new news that we didn't know about before that good king Albaen Beloroth, king of the Northeast, passed away. Very sad. Oh yes. Yes, we were not involved in that in any way. In fact, I am just hearing about this. You are just hearing about sad.

Yes. And related to that news, I'm excited about our guests that come from the Bellaroth Court. I'm excited to have back Princess Tricia Eurelia Bellaroth, daughter to King Albane. Ah, not. My, Arnie. Honored.

Okay, fair enough. We are so sorry for you, Odelovus. Yes, my condolences about the death of your father. Save your breath. My father is not to be mourned. He is now but a carpet to walk across to my true path, to power. Yeah.

Okay. If I could make him like one of those charming zebra skin rugs where the body is flat, but the head is still upright and three-dimensional and throw him across my floor, I would do it. Those are charming. That is right. So I guess I didn't really think about the fact that King Albanne dying means that Princess Trachea Relia is that much closer to being in charge of her own. Indeed.

How is your mother doing? The seed has been... She has been... ...indisposed in her grief, and by grief I mean intercourse. Yes, yes. We all grieve differently. Sure, of course. She grieves with her crotch.

Oh, okay. Well, you know what, we're all so... Grief so bad. All of a sudden it just hit me, I just, I wanna grieve. Yeah. Well you know what, we're not just joined by Princess Treykia, Aralia Bellaross. We're also joined by Benedict Whisperbrew.

Yes, Ah, I'm so wonderful to be back here. I'm back and better than ever. So Benedict, you, now it's been a while since we've talked to you. So you used to be the unique, the chief unique of the Court of the Belarus. I was the chief unique of the Court of the Belarus, and then, Arnie, when you refused my summons to attend Queen Tatanya in the dance of the associated Hippogriff, I was demoted. My arch-nemesis and rival, Duncan Brittle Brains.

Duncan Brittlebrains. Duncan Brittlebrains! Duncan Brittlebrains. He and I were roommates at Unic Academy and we were always naked-naked to see who would be the best unit, always outdoing each other in the fleshless mound competition. I'm sorry to interrupt. What is the fleshless mound competition? It's just who has the best fleshless mound Twix to their thighs. Oh what makes for the best fleshless mound is it?

It's a lot of texture. It's surface area. It's you it's General ambiance if if you have the best you can you get like a scholarship or some kind of money? Yes. Oh, yes. You want to be like Hugh Grant? Yeah, like Hugh Grant. Yes.

Yes, yes. You usually need to get two weeks notice when you have the Hugh Grant application. Wow. So, but so your rival, really? I mean, he's my friend and he's, you know what? I don't like to speak ill of any unique. I feel like Unix needs to stick together. He's great at what he does.

You know, he plays the political, I don't like to do that kind of thing. I just like to let my relationships evolve organically, but you know, Duncan's, he's a hustler and more power to. So Benedict, what have you been up to then? The past three months has been more pleasure than any unit has a right to know because I have been under the apprenticeship

of this amazing magnetic- Oh, stop. No, stop. Speak only fast, stop. No, stop. Speak only fast, but I have been conspiring with Princess Trichier on ways to kill her brother. Correct. Oh. Correct. Benedict found me out on my trail searching for my worthless placeholder of a brother. I just followed the boneless rugs of animals and peasants in her wake. Coincidentally, I have introduced you to the delicious taste of eating king animals. They are more delicious than peasants animals.

And they are harder to kill, therefore, more delicious. And that's how we eat, as we travel down the road looking for Tom Plain. They eat all the best food. So they, you know, they're everything, you know, rolls up. Travel down the road looking for Tom Plain. Why waste, eat all the best foods? So they, you know, they're everything, you know, rolls up. So they, everything, everyone, you know, gives them their best things that they grow or find. And then the things eat the best. And after we have stated ourself with its royal meat, then we find whatever villager best

resembles my good for nothing brother, and we slaughter him so that I might know a mere whisper of the feeling of what it will be like when I kill him. Your brother, Tom Blaine Beloroth, is ahead of you in the order of succession. Indeed, he eludes me still. But we are hot on his trail. And we have a conspiracy to finally get him in our clutches. We do.

And remove all obstacles to trick his path to power once and for all. Within this be considered, I don't know, is he or she the right word? Wouldn't this be considered treason? Is that the right word? Close to treason, yes, that sounds right. Arnold, I don't get involved in your family squabbles. That's fair. I don't know what type of shenanigans went on with you and your parents or this wife you talk of. So I appreciate it if you do not get involved in my family squabbles. Oh and you know Foon has a marvelous history of royalty killing family members. Yes and I I will remember when Albane was a boy and he strangled his two triplet brothers. Two triplet, oh I see. Sorry, I'm not great a man. The better off triplets were

the best in the brightest and there was your uncle. Y-Rax. Y-Rex and Kryton and Y-Rex was just a beautiful youth and Kryton of course. Well he was the thinker. He was, yes. He was the brains. Yeah. And we saw his brains. We saw his brains. Gastard on his wall.

That's a shame because I'd rather Y-Rex wouldn't you. Y-Rex, why? Very few people on earth are loving that very maybe regionally specific people on earth You know what? You're so beautiful that I just sometimes get lost and I I don't always understand your word play But I'm just struck by your magnetic good looks. Thank you Benedict I always forget we should have you back more often because it's a real it's a real ego-boost for me Oh also chicken kings are like a diamond dozen I always forget, we should have you back more often because it's a real, it's a real ego boost for me. Yeah. Also chicken kings are like a diamond dozen. Yes, yes.

They have such a fluency of monarchy in the chicken world. They do, they do. But each one is more delicious than the one before and the one before that. And a few months ago, we were fortunate enough to eat a bovine king. And then we were in that very same day, we were able to reach into a stream with our bare hands and catch a trout king, and we had surf and turf. Oh, Clint, that's Clint.

Clint, that's any friend Clint. Trout King? Yeah. How do you know if an animal is the king of those animals? They're wearing a crown. They wear a crown. Don't be stupid. Put a stupid question.

Oh, hon, you seven foot mountain of pure beauty. Yeah. P.S. this crown on my head is just a little toy that I have. Yeah, yeah, no, no. Yeah. And no one would want to eat a badger, anyway. Badger, probably. Someone might want to.

If it was the feast of St. Peddely Pads. Yes. Is it the feast of St. Pettily Pats right now? It is in three days time. Three days time. So I mean it is St. Pettily Pats Eve Eve. Yes. Oh, so that would be the marvelous time. That would be the right time. Who is St. Pettily Pats? She was the woman who introduced badges into food. Oh really? How did like introduce them into food like, hey welcome to food. Yes, yes, sorry. Before the animal kingdom was very isolated, there were silos of animals

and they didn't really intermingle in and say, really bad. She was a marvelous woman. She just said, let's have a party and I'm going to introduce her. Like a mixer. Yes, yes, a meat and greet, I think, think sometimes they're called and they played ice-breaker games and oh wow. But anyway, Trichier and I as I said we have a little plot to do. We do Thomas into our trap. Wow, well we are in no way on Tom Blaine's side so we would we would love to hear what your plan is. Well first I would like to ask all your lowly pathetic listeners to please send any information they might have about his whereabouts to me because I would like to be home at the castle

redecorating for my rule. What are some of the things you want to redecorate in the castle? I find the throne room to be lacking. I would like what? Lacking decor. Oh, wow, is it very spare? Sparely decorative? It's very austere. It's very austere, and I... It's not a stone.

I feel that when people come to see their ruler, they should immediately have a sense of fear and power wash over them. What I would like to do is have the heads of all noblemen dangling from their innards from the ceiling. I would rather that than the vulgar tapestries that my father enjoyed. All the noblemen. All the noblemen used to. And we would hang them by their intestines. By their intestines. Oh, it's beautiful. It is. And we would have it low, probably at eight stone high, so that you'd be literally hitting your forehead against nobody. Nobody.

Tata, tata. If you hang all the gnome and up in such a fashion, who would continue to be a member of your court? It would just be Benedict and myself, because we feel that the smaller the circle, the greater the power. I have no need for opinions. I have no need for anyone as my council. I just need someone to help hang the heads and Benedict has a rather key knack for that.

I have wonderful interior design schools. Well, I understand what you're saying about the smaller the circle, the better the power, but I also believe that the greater number of circles, the better. So why don't the three of us form a second circle to help you out? Are you trying to get us closer to what's going on? I'm just trying to not get eaten, I'm trying to offer services. Okay, sure. That's a wonderful idea, Chad.

And, you know, we feel that we can trust you. So we're going to tell you our plot to capture Tom. Oh, wonderful. So we'll have two tight circles. Yes. Perfect. Now, Tom, and you're a big fan of two tight circles. I am.

Tom is currently pursuing a career in the dramatic arts. What? This is news to us. Yes, no, never heard of it. Come, come, come. The Robbins have reported his poetry little disguised as Tom the Traveler. We did know his desperate attempt to win a toss a reward

and how he's really just courting the Academy trying to... Oh, that's it. Have you even read any of his most recent reviews? No, or some of the reviews. Well, the one that a dear enemy of mine sent me through Feather Graham said that his most recent portrayal in a play called Death of a Salesman, which is, of course, about a man who gets turned into the sale of a ship

and is forced to live out a turn of days as a man who gets turned into the sale of a ship and is forced to live out eternity as a piece of cloth blowing in the wind and I saw it when Hunk Roth Markle blew Premiered it and he was he was he was he was he was a delight. Yes, wasn't that play written by a Miller? Yes, yes He he was a flower maker and then he decided that he you know, he had a story in him as we all do Well, they said that my dear brother's portrayal of the salesman was about as lively

as the massacre of Tenfolk. Oh. Yes. Sounds like a bird. Free history buff, so exactly how lively that was. The massacre of Tenfolk was a very bland dollar fair. Very barely as aqueras go. As Masqueras go.

It was the slowest massacre in Funin' History. Wow. It was a slow poison that many people ingested, and it took them weeks to die. Wow. Well, you know, I'm very excited to hear more of like literally the entirety of your plan to find Tom Blaine Bellaroff.

But let's take a quick break, and then we'll hear more about it. Now listen to blemish. to find Tom Blaine Bellarup, but let's. We're tapping and making new enemy casks every day. We're on the bloodline next to McShingleshane Forest. So what is your plan? So what's going on guys? Well we know that Tom is obsessed with the idea of winning a Tosser Award. So, never going to happen, by the way. It's never going to happen. So, we have written a script that is just pure Tosser bait, and we are holding auditions.

And we've sent it to his agents. And it's got everything you think of when you think of a Tosser Award winning script. It would require this role for him to gain agents. And it's got everything you think of when you think of a Toss-O-Word-winning script. It would require this role for him to gain weight. Then he would have to have prosthetic makeup to appear uglier. Then he would also have to be mentally handicapped and use a weird sort of death voice. He would have to be turned into an object. He would have to do a monologue about a memory that makes him happy. He would have to dance in the aisles during intermission.

Three. All of intermission. Oh, yes. Oh, oh. Because that's normally a time for the actor. Oh, no, no, no, no. I mean, if someone was, if an actor was dancing in the eyes of the intermission wouldn't if and you're on the on the tosser board wouldn't you say they deserve a

tosser they go the extra mile yeah that's that's why that's why Charlie's her in one her tosser Charlie's her in yes what what what playing is she won a tosser for she won of course for the birds Shrigger, which I'm sure you are a huge fan of you. So I love birds. I know I love birds so much except for the fucking stars All right, so you so you've written a top real tosser base. Yeah We've written that we posted notices about an open casting call for the lead We've posted notices about an open casting call for the lead. When he arrives at the theater that day for his cold reading. Oh, I've seen these notices in the bar here.

But it says that it's written by Sam the Shepherd. Yes. Oh, yes. We picked a name that is notar own to publish underneath. Oh, wow. Would you mind, I'm just really curious about this play and I don't have time to read it myself. Would you mind the two of you just doing a scene

from this play? I don't. What? You have all sorts of time. You have nothing but time. No, I just want to hear them do a little bit of the play. Oh, sorry, yeah, yeah, that was okay. Yes, we could dazzle you with some of our handiwork. Yes, I have two copies of the play. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yes, we could we could dazzle you with some of our

handiwork. Yes, I have I have two copies of the script. Here you go, back. Thank you. Benedict, would you like to play the title role of Yelzaboh? Yes, and would you please play the part of Shmierna? Yes. Now to give you a little frame of reference for what's going on in this place. This is from scene 17 at 41. Yes. He yells above and... It's a long play, it seems like. Well, that's Tosser-Bage. Oh, yeah.

So what's going on here is that our two characters have been confined in a dungeonous cell for nine years together. Their bodies have fallen in love, but their minds are still torn apart by the ravages of war. Wow, once again I'm playing the part of Giles the Bond and you ask me another. Red leather yellow, leather blood, yellow leather, blood, blood, blood, many mumbling mice, many mumbling mice. This is such a weird scene. I can't tell what's going on. We're just preparing. Oh, okay, okay. I can't tell what's going on. We're just preparing. Oh, okay, okay.

I don't come to the badge factory and slap horse genitals out of your mouth. You did that one time. I did. That was on a dare. That was a classic unique academy break. And I was like, I'm just getting started. And this guy walks in with all the confidence of a monster and just knocks the horse to get him in my mouth. So Duncan Bittled Aiden's that was a day of doing a kick.

Alright. Also, I should let you know there is a badger factor. Alright, but I'm sorry. I'm very excited to see this here. And, seen. My arm misses your arm. What are you trying to do, woman? I'm just trying to feel again instead of so numb. Oh, every inch of me yearns to be with you, but my brain. My brain still remembers what happened in the war.

You talk like my brain doesn't also remember the things of your brain. Ah, our brains and fused our brains and separated our bodies, part of me died, but part of me came alive. Oh God, the God's going to be gone for another eight hours. Let's put our toes together like we used to. Calcified goodness of your toenail is all the pleasure that this foot needs. And all the pleasure of my toenails is yours. Oh, lady, Shmana, thank you. Thank you for not packing that toenail clipper when we went off to jail. Eelsabon, you know I took that out of my bag so that I could make more room for your things

because you pack heavier than I do. I'm a hoarder! I'm a hoarder! I hoard feelings. Wait! I'm having a vision of the war. It hurts. No.

It's gone. What did you see, lady? See. That was incredible! I mean, can you imagine if you were a struggling actor? Yes. You've written such a wonderful play. And it almost completely made sense. And I think your performance was so amazing.

So amazing. That why would you let anyone else perform it? Yeah. Have you two considered mounting this play yourself? I will not be tempted by the bright lights of fame, like my good for nothing, brother. But your performance was so vibrant, and so filled with emotion and the connection that you two have is palpable. Oh, yeah, if I were on the board if I if my vote counted

I would give you both tossers immediately Don't give in to these people words. I mean the fact of the plan the fact that Benedict is a unique But in a southern funish accent he said every inch of me yearn for you I believe for a moment that he had inches to yearn Yeah. And I do not. I get exactly that. But sometimes fate approaches us and gives us an opportunity. And if we do not open that door, that door may not be available again. Also in the words of Nora Efron from my world, don't dream tomorrow, dream today. Nora Efron! That affected me when you just said the words of that Nora Ephron.

That I feel a burning in my aorta. I have a heartburn and I'm ready to embrace my power as an actor and trick you. If we put this on and win the tosses which we will. You know that Thomas going to be there and we can we can have some night sheet. We can have poison dark. We could have a gariting device. Just think of the drama. Don't tempt me with devices of torture. You know them, my weakness. You know how I dream of having him get to that last scene in the audition.

And then having someone tell him he's getting a call back. And then have him show up for the call back. And then tell him that there's been a rewrite and make him learn those lines. And then when he comes in to read those new lines at his call back, I chop off his head with a dull pair of scissors. Well Benedict, Princess Trachea, really a belleroth, I'm just saying think about it. Think about whether you want to have this play, be just a trap for Tom Blaine or whether you want to

do the one thing that would hurt him the most, which is get a tosser before he does. Tonight not the world your talent. I hear what you're saying and as always it's a challenge to weigh my blood lust with my lust for fame. It's a bellaroth trait and I can't turn my back on it and addictive. You truly want this and you'll agree that I can make my brother's death even more gruesome and humiliating than I've ever dreamed. I suppose we can put this play on together. Get out your stretching racks, it looks like we're putting on a show. Wow. Well, just celebrate. Let's open some of these packages.

We keep, we've got, let's catch up on some of these packages. The people have been shoving through the dimensional portal behind the Burger King. What do you, what do you got? Well, I'll start. I have a letter here from a Brittany Bruno. It's addressed to Awny on the front. But then on the back, there's a cute little star. It's made out of some sort of material I don't recognize. Oh Bruno star? Exactly. And it says, used to do on chunt are invited as well, so I assume there's some sort of imitation inside. And

getting in here now. Let's see what we've got. Uh, yes. Don't panic. It's an invite to a shiny wedding shindig. Brittany Bruno, an Austin Denson, will explore the final frontier of their relationship. Marriage. Star date 9 4 16 263. What is a star date?

A star date is... Oh, is it? Then it says here, star date, or July 23, 2016 6 p.m. It sounds usador like you have been invited to I think we all three of three of us have been invited to a science fiction wedding based on a very famous science fiction franchise on earth called Star Wars. Yes, cosplay is encouraged. What is cosplay?

A costume play so dressing up in elaborate costumes So basically used to or if you went to this wedding you would want to dress up as your character from offices and bosses Let me I got a package here. This is I said it was addressed to Arnie But since I have it we'll go ahead and do that It says for Arnie you camp from Greg Davis, Lexington Con toky it says Arnie beware of used to or in chants You never know when in this land of fune one might suddenly but Inevitably betray you and it's a picture of two horses in a pasture and inside the box

two two monster two wingless dragons Don't know what that means. It seems very ominous. Are you guys going to betray me? Those are dinosaurs actually. Not which as, you know, I've explained before dinosaurs are just boring dragons. Hmm. Well, well, guys, you're not going to betray me, are you? No. Never. I got another package here that says, to Chun, you store an Arnie, your podcast Hello from

the Magic Tavern is my new obsession. I look forward to the weekly installments. I have seen you some candy bars to review. I work at a place called Zinger Men's Deli and we make our own candy bars. Singer Men's Deli is in Ann Arbor, Michigan. The same city that your t-shirt suppliers in. That's great. There are enough for everyone. Please enjoy. If you ever make it back to Earth, come to the Deli and I will give you my employee discount from Victoria. That's great. What are some of what do they

look like? These are called Zang bars and there's one It's called what the fudge cashew cow Cheuchy's channel serving cashew cow. Oh wow. What about you? You used it? I received a package here. It appears to be it's on the front It says love from freely industries and inside it says hello and none of the sponsors. If you could pass these through the portal to Arne Chountain Yusador, that would be amazing. Adrian. Arne Chountain Yusador, we felt Chun's current plight required more than a brown ribbon, so he designed a special curse awareness pin complete with subtle buttolls.

Ooh, I love me some subtle buttolls. For wearing two allocations, smart or casual, the tosses would be a perfect example. If those make it to you, tag us at Frilly End, so we know the portal is still active, heart-adrian. There's a little box here, the beautiful little Frilly seal on it, and then inside it says curse awareness, and there are little buttons, and there's a little subtle butthole on them.

Amazing, very nice. Thank you. Alright, I got one more here. It's a card. It says, Hi, Chunt. I hope you like and enjoy the backpack. Oh, it's a backpack. With a bunch of badgers on it.

Ooh, a pack for my back to carry my subtle butthole. It is meant to be chunt on the outside and rainbow ball on the inside, it's rainbow color on the inside. Thanks for the podcast laughs each week. I look forward to hearing more. Catherine, PS, you may need to iron it since it was folded in the mail. Also, I would have made used to door one, but Wizard Fabric is tacky as fuck.

How dare you. You know, it's very tacky. It's very dare you. You know it is very tacked out. Very staggugly. Thank you Catherine Morris. This is awesome. I wonder if she made this. Wow, that's amazing. She should design our outfits for the doses. This is awesome.

Thank you so much for everybody that's sending us stuff, especially those of you that are trying to get us to advertise your thing. Wonderful. Thank you so much. You should work on Aansk. Yes, of course. Who are you wearing? This is a... This is a Yusador. You make that.

Yes, mostly I find things in dungeons and then just put them on. Sometimes they make me stronger, sometimes they don't. I think you've got some ooze on you. It's very possible. I have to get it off. got some ooze on you. It's very possible. We have to get it off. Well, this episode introduced a lot of fanciful new information.

You can almost hear some freelance Wikipedia editor staining themselves. They say some opera singers can shatter glass, but only one person can make a glass lose interest. And that would be Matt Young, who plays Use a Door the Blue. Long ago, a farmer left an oversized grease stain sweatshirt out in the cabbage patch, and that grew up and became Adel Raffaie, who voices chun't. Princess Tracia Arellia Bellaroth was played by Megynoneel, who performs regularly with, you guessed it, world news tonight.

Can you imagine the cast members of world news tonight who haven't been on hello from the magic tavern yet? Make no mistake, you are comedy poison. Benedict Whisperbrew was played by Brendan Dowling, who performs with the improvised Shakespeare company. Have you ever wondered how close you are to someone who contributed handsomely to the Verrata Camar feature film Kickstarter? Well, after listening to Brendan, your one degree closer. And Blemish was played by Martin Wilson,

who might not be on this show so often if Arnie weren't so terrified of conflict. Craig, I think that tiny key from last week is about to make it to grand reappearance. Take the baton. Okay, hello from the Magic Tavern was produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Jacoba and Ryan D. Georgie, this one edited by Evan Jacoba, music by Andy Poland, logo by Allard LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox and production assistance by Garrett Schultz. Visit us at hellofromthemagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter, and thanks to the Chicago podcast co-op and earwolf. Oh, don't forget we have a live show, July 9th at Stage 773 in Chicago.

More info on that at teamstarkid.com slash firebringer. It's gonna be a really exciting show and there will be a chance night as part of it. So if you've been waiting for that, definitely be there. Oh, also, this may sound like a joke, but there is actually magic tavern hot sauce in the real world that exists that you can buy and put on your food if you want.

We have Arnie's I don't want to taco about earth stuff, Chipotle crushed pepper sauce, chun's double B whole surprise, cayenne pepper hot sauce, and use it or the blues devour of chaos garlic habanero crushed pepper sauce. They're currently featured on the front of gethotsauce.com, that's the past tense of sauce with an ED GetHotSauce.com. You gotta try it. They're pretty good. No dice crag, it was just a tiny jade figurine of a puma, which makes me wonder who's got

time for a story. I feel like you told me this before and it was an emerald Puma, but maybe that was a different Puma. How many Puma's do you know what I don't want to know?