Hello From The Magic Tavern - 72 - Last of the Singled Out Folk

Episode Date: July 25, 2016

I'm not entirely sure, but I think my next guest is in a cult.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungGracie, the Lonely Cult Member: Scott ElamKrom the Fingarian: Mark LogsdonOtok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerFlower: Brooke BreitMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Evan JacoverTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Asbeaver whoops I've done it again, the Earwolf Network. And it's sponsored by Hive of prematurely wealthy millennial tyrants, Cards Against Humanity. If you want to send a care package to Foon, send it to Cards Against Humanity 1917 North Elston, Chicago, Illinois 60642, care of Arnie Neekham, Vermillion Minotaur, Town of Hogsface, Land of Foon. And now, on your mark, get set, imagine. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune, I'm your host Arne and E. Camp. If you've never listened to the podcast before,

this is all the things that you need to know about a year, about, I mean, not exactly about a year and a half ago. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the fantastical, magical land of fun. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from that Burger king through the dimensional portal.

I used that fuling zeleg. Thank you, chunt. I used that to upload a podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the town of Hogg's face, in the land of fun. And I'm joined as always by my buddy, by my Goon Companion. Oh yeah, baby. Chunt the king of the Badgers. Yeah, how's it going?

Pretty good, how you doing? Good, I thought to just try, you know, try interrupting you a little bit, just to see how you like to. Just throwing felines out like at any point. I should probably tailor to what you say. Yeah, I can, yeah. The thing about felines out like is,

it's really like, it's so perfect, and it's in right spot. Well, I'll stop you there. Okay. Yeah, the word's so perfect, don't you? It's so perfect. That's an oxym Well, I'll stop you there. Okay. Yeah, the word so perfect. So perfect. That's an oxymoron. Sean, how you been, bud?

I'm okay. I'm a little depressed, so I'm trying to put on a happy face. What's up? What are you depressed? This is big because I feel like you were cursed to die. Yeah. It seemed like you were going to die for a long time, and that for the most part didn't seem to make you depressed.

What is it that's actually making you depressed? Well, after the curse was removed, I felt good. I felt you know loved in a life But now I feel like I had this cool, you know side project with the insane crown posse Yeah, and then you know like angel of the horse king did not invite me to his party Yeah, and I just feel really left out, you know, it doesn't feel good to be excluded like I want to be Want yeah, you know you were part of the posse are you are you no longer part of the insane crown posse the Gathering the hunting and gathering of The best of things yeah, we haven't I haven't talked to him

I heard second hand that the horse party was amazing. I heard you know I guess there's like a ton of horses there and they're getting drunk and they're getting massages But uh, yeah, I haven't talked to him. I don't know if I'm going to right now I really want to you know invest in you and you Sator because you guys are my main thing. Oh wow So things aren't so great with the insane cramposses. So you come running back to your old pals. Yeah, I mean if you'll have me I have to say horse massage. That sounds like a lot of work Right, I wouldn't know I wasn't at the party. We're in at the party. That's right Oh, do you know who may know?

Usador Massager of animal of all sorts. I not in the octopus Turn me away from my warm and needing grip. I Shall surely massage an elephant if it did ask. Wow, oh by the way my other co-host is Yusador. I, Yusador the blue. Oh, if I come across a rhinoceros that does look a bit tense. I shall give it this warmest of massages.

We've never really talked about the fact that Yusador is a real massagey guy. Like he likes the massage. Oh yes, yes, who doesn't like to get a massage? Yeah, usually when you're in making the introduction he's behind you rubbing your shoulders Hey, so that's true if you're not hearing him talking to be a he's finishing up the massage. That's why I always seem yeah so Relax. Yes, the best is when he uses my favorite is sometimes he'll have me kind of lie on the table and he'll take some hot rocks Sometimes he'll have me kind of lie on the table and he'll take some hot rocks. He says, you know, he'll, it's, I think there is magical rocks and he'll put them on your back and it feels so good. Oh boy, yeah. Don't let him put those rocks on you.

Yes. Oh, oh, oh. Sometimes I have thought to myself, perhaps I should not massage Arnie before the show and he would... Pay attention, do a better job. I'd be more engaged. Be more in the, actually, yeah, more alert. Yes, exactly. But it's a good combination I've been drinking a lot of red potion lately to like keep my energy up

And so the combination of the massage and the red potion it puts me in a real interesting space Are you I'm gonna ask you this one time? Are you becoming reliant on red potion? Do you have a problem? I do not have a problem, but I am reliant on it and where are you getting all of this red potion? I found a big crate of it. And you're sure it's not cruel aid. What? It's not what? Cruel aid.

Cruel aid? Yes. What is cruel aid? Well, you take this, it comes in a, a little pouch, like a, a, a witch or, uh, or a sorcerer and evil one will put this little red powder on a pouch. And then you port it to water and you pour in some sugar and it's evil. It's evil. Yes. Yeah. Then it's the most evil drink you can drink the most evil drink

I could drink one time I accidentally drank some like I I wasn't watching and I accidentally drink some and all of a sudden I have like this fever dream and this big dude burst through a wall and he just pointed at me like oh That was it the cruel aid man. I don't know who he is Oh, you're guests. Oh, that was the cruel aid man? I don't know who he is. You know why I know. You're like, that's the main good. Right away.

With someone smashes through a wall, you don't say, hey, sir, what's your name? No. No, you run. You run. Hey, let's talk to our guest. I'm very excited. We're joined by, I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing this correctly.

Gracie? Yes, that's correct. Gracie, who is the last of the remaining Singled out folk. Yeah, that's me. I'm all that's left. And what are the I'm so sorry first of all my condolences Did how all congratulations if you won? Yeah, no, it's condolence Is the goal all right? Oh, okay. I didn't know if the goal of a single-out person was to be the last one because you're single-out Yeah, these things go out. No, that wasn't the goal. Oh, boy. Well, I'm so sorry. Well, well, first of all, Gracie, who are the singled out folk or who were the singled out folk? Well, the singled out folk, we thought for sure one day we'd all go to the to the promise land together. We'd all reside on the great pillow in the sky. But then one by one, they all went without me.

And now I'm wondering, is there a great pillow in the sky? Oh. Yeah, so I'm all that's left now. So the single folk, like a sort of religious sect, or I mean, this is a word, I don't, this word is a strong word, like a cult. Well, I wouldn't use the word cult, but- But I would, other people use the word cult.

Other people use the word cult, pretty liberally, to make us. Yeah, is that like when you come into town, do you hear the word cult a lot? Yeah, we walk in and they're like, look at that cult. Or they're like, there goes the cult. Yeah. Or the worst one is when they're like,

here comes the cult. Here comes the cult. It's terrible when they say it. Yeah. There was a, I don't know if, I don't know what we've told you. There was a cult in Foon where all of the members of the cults they cut off their genitalia, they drank some cruel aid and they all wore this specific type of sandal. Yeah.

And then there was a great rock that shot across the sky and as the rock shot across the sky, they killed themselves. Sounds awful. Yeah, it was pretty bad. Real tragedy. Yeah, it was pretty bad. And also, yeah, I welcome Gracie.

I don't believe in the big pillow in the sky. It seems ridiculous that there's a giant pillow in the sky, right? This is the problem that I come up against in food all the time. Everything here is fantastic and weird. So it's hard for me to know what stuff is ridiculous in food and what stuff is just literally true in food. I think I think there's no reason to not believe that people are telling you the truth most of the time.

Sure, but I understand your quandary is difficult to know if this young gentleman here is just been bamboozled by a cult and made a fool of himself. And did you make a fool of yourself? I don't think I made a fool of myself. Okay, but you said that they all went without you. Does that mean that they all went in our on the great pillow? Well, here's the troubling part. They all died. Oh, and I don't know if they're Well, here's the troubling part. They all died. Oh, and I don't know if they're Resting their gentle heads on a soft welcoming pillow in the sky or if there's just nothing afterwards So you didn't see them as said into a pillow and they just were like screw you buddy work off No, I saw them down for you and the big pill on the sky. They didn't say that before they left They what did they save a phone? Oh And various moans, various illnesses and a few accidents. Sure. But one by

one they all went. Over like what's what period of time did all this death have 14 years? Oh okay. So it wasn't like it wasn't like all at once. No. Just a natural like they just naturally died off. Yeah a few of them were older. So I heard, Gracie, I heard that George burned, right? Yeah. Was there a member named George and he burned alive? Yeah, George burned. Oh, I'm sorry to hear Gracie. He was tending to the to the to the tins. Sure. And he died. Very sad. Now, the most coats survive and continue to grow by recruitment which it sounds like you're terrible at. Yeah well I keep asking people every time I go into town they're like here comes the cult, there goes the cult, oh look a

cult and I'm like you guys want to hang out and they all keep saying just culty things. Well let's role play a little bit pretend like you want to recruit us into your cult. Oh sure. Yeah. Yeah. Used to do it. Here comes the cult. Here comes the cult. Oh, here's a cult. Oh, I'm leaving. Oh, no, wait, wait.

Come back on the crux of your problem here. What? You give up too easily. You think that's the problem? Do you think the people of Bones Town, when they drank that cruel aid, if they would have given up, that they would have got to the pillow in the sky? I don't know what would have happened if they'd given up. Here, try, push, let's reset.

Reset, another reset. Here comes the call, the call. I'll make you go to that pillow in the sky, you'll regret the day you got the call. Okay, well, I'm aggressive. Maybe not threatening. Also, don't we want to go to the pillow in the sky you'll regret the day you... Okay, well, maybe not... Superbrenning. Also, don't we want to go to the pillow in the sky? Right. I sure thought I did, but now I'm getting nervous.

Crazy, don't be nervous, don't be nervous, we're here to help! Crazy, what? I would love a little backstory on like, what do the singled out folk believe? Is it just there's a pillow in the sky you go to or is there anything more to it? Um, well, there's a lot more to it. Okay. Arnie, have you ever slept without a pillow in the sky, you go to or is there anything more to it? Um, well, there's a lot more to it. Okay. Arnie, have you ever slept without a pillow? Yes?

How'd your neck feel in the morning? Not great. Imagine eternity with a neck that's relaxed. Yeah. That's what we believe the pillow in the sky provides. Oh, you'd like to have a relaxed neck, man. Oh, yeah, let you sit or massage you. This is not how I like it I've got a knot right here. I can't really feel a knot. I'm gonna stick my thumb into that. Yeah, I get that feels good

Okay, that feels good. Keep talking. I sleep on rocks Oh, home. Yeah, I choice. Yeah, that's really the only requirement of being in the singled out folk Is that you sleep on rocks and you believe there's a pillow in this guy. So by waiting until to receive your award in the afterlife, you suffer in this life by sleeping on rocks so that you may enjoy the pillow even more than the afternoons. Oh, I see. Have you ever eaten a bad peach?

Oh, yeah. No. I don't think I've ever eaten a peach. We don't need to really talk about that, but... Fascinating. Anyway, to bring these grimy hults. Well, I just don't know how to continue. I mean, imagine if you've only eaten bad peaches, and then you eat a good peach,

isn't that good peach that much better? Now imagine a life where you've only eaten good peaches. Do you appreciate a good peach? I guess so, but here's my... Gracie,ie, like far be it for me to ever judge someone else's religion. I'd like to spend your whole life denying yourself the one thing you want just in hopes that in the afterlife you'll have that thing. It just seems weird, like come on, ooh baby don't you know what that works? Let's make heaven a place on earth. Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm familiar with that saying We say hit everything. I was heard as ooh baby. You already know how this operates. It's clear to all of us

Why don't we simply make things better here on food and enjoy things here's if the afterlife were happening now sure a very Pity food. Yes. Yeah. I mean, sometimes saying, you know, different people have different sayings. Different things mean different things. Different things, different things. Different things. Now, Gracie, pardon me for pointing this out,

but you're the only member of the cult left. You could change all of the rules if you wanted to. And I suppose. You're the leader of the cult now. Well, thank you. Thank you very much Well, I didn't do that. You already won in that case I've been the leader of the cult for two and a half years now. Oh my gosh So you've been the last one for a long time. Yeah, it's been a rough couple years. That's terrible

You guys ever When how do you wake up in the morning? What what gets you up in the morning? I am laying flat on my back and then I'm immediately at 90 degrees Standing on my feet and there's usually like a boy like like there's usually a Some some noise I'm fully naked. I then fly through my chimney out of my hobble And then I'm fully clothed once I leave the chimney. Does that answer your question?

That's great. That's exactly what I was looking for. There's three ways I wake up. One, with a sense of duty for being king of the badgers. Two, for a sense of friendship, waking up in the morning just so I can make sure I spend time with my friends and look forward to that. Or three, a giant man burst through my wall.

How many times has the third one happened? Just the once, but I dream about it every night. Every night. Every night. Wow. And you on a towel, do you wake? Well, you know, every day, every night, I'm like, I'm gonna get up early, I'm gonna get going,

I'm gonna go out and get that lunar sword, and then I usually wake up kind of early, and then I'm like, you know what, let's put a number on early. No, I'm like, I'm gonna get up with the sun, I'm gonna get out there, get the lunar sword. And then, you know, I kind of like, I go back to sleep for a little bit.

Okay, then. And then I get up and then I'm like, you know, maybe I'll read in bed and so I read a little bit. I feel like when you stayed with me every morning, I have to come in and I'd be like, wake up, wake up, wake up. It's the first of the month. And I'll be like, come back in nine minutes. Now, up wake up. It's the first of the month And I'll be like come back in nine minutes now Gracie Since you are the leader of the cult now and you're want to recruit more people into the cult

You could change all the rules and make it much more enticing for people to join. Yes, I'm incentives Yes, exactly. What if you what if you gave them all free candy? I don't have any candy Okay, what do you have yeah? What do you have to work with well? We've got robes You gave them all free candy. I don't have any candy. Oh, okay. What do you have? Yeah, what do you have to work with? Well, we've got robes. Oh, free robes. Oh, free robes.

So I'd my cult get a free robe. Yeah, I've got to say right off the bat, that's enticing to me. I could use a robe. Really? Yeah, I mean, I have this vermilion minotaur, this weird vermilion minotaur, like bathrobe I was given, was a little too small.

What would you like to be one of the single-out folk I'll give you, Rob? It's a start. I haven't walked away. I'm still listening, Gracie. Okay. Now, there was a cult that I knew of, that operated entirely on the beach side,

and they built fun little huts and fun beach furniture, and that was called Cabana. And they had a great time just hanging out at the beach together. Well, we operate in a marsh far inland. Mm. Less enticing. And we don't live in huts so much as we just live out in the open to embrace all that we have.

So. So you live in the marsh? We live in the open to embrace all that we have. So you live in the marsh. We live in the marsh. And you've brought in a bunch of rocks to sleep on. Correct. In the marsh. So in your early years of being a member of the single out folk, your primary position is carrying rocks from outens into the marsh. Wow.

And then once you've done that for a few years, then you get to move on. Sure. And move on to what exactly? To sleeping on the rocks. Oh, so first you're probably like half drowning at night in the marsh. Yeah.

And then you get to sleep on the rocks. Right. So first you get the marsh, then you get the rocks, then you get to sleep. Right. Then you get the women. Oh no, we don't then you get the sleep. Right. Then you get the women. Oh no. We don't have women in our cult.

Oh no women in the cult at all. There's our huge problem right there. Sure. But you should have me in a cult. It would be much more fun. The sinkled out cult, you could invite in like a Jenny, and then if Jenny doesn't want to do it anymore, you could bring in a Carmen. Yeah.

That'd be fine. Probably someone after that. Doesn't matter. Doesn't, no. Well, we should really all put our heads together and help Gracie think up some new ideas. Really brain-stall, yeah. Yeah, what's next? Well, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh resident's stoned where we get messages from Otak and Flower on the gorgeous

Nangorges. It's gorgeous the same potato that we never seem to hear but is definitely there. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. We're checking in. It's been a crazy day. There's so much blood.

We made contact with a falsetto marauder. It was the closest we've been to activity as since we began our quest. We saw it in the, well, we heard it first, and we saw it in the distance. It's okay. We rode up as stealthily as we could. It was our ultimate opportunity to get information

on where the falsetto marauder camp was. right right and then you can say it I cut him in half a link wise merely he was merely did not even get a syllable was out of his mouth the war crime cut in in half length wise I just want to say I feel terrible I thought that the whole thing was if if we see a false set of marauder, kill them as quickly as possible. If Activia was incite and there was a gang of them, sure, but when there's one, and we don't know where they are, I know we didn't clarify the rules, we didn't talk about that.

We didn't talk ahead of time. I just thought, that's the bad guy. We know it's a bad guy, thought, that's the bad guy. We know it's a bad guy. We agreed it wasn't the bad guy. It's really hard to stay mad at you, crime. But look, Hammett, I'm trying to make it up. I kind of put him back together a little bit. Well, if he pushes the pieces back together, he, you know,

maybe we can still get him in the car. Yeah, maybe if we had a fucking necromancer, that would mean something, but we don't. Here we go. I thought, I'm get to see that. Maybe if we had a fucking necromancer, that would mean something, but we don't. Here we go. I thought the head would be scared. Don't do that. No, that's, I mean, that's even, that's a lot for me. Oh, hey, look, he's waving.

Oh, no. Oh, come on. Oh, come on. Oh, you're looking for an activity. I could help you out with that. That's kind of funny. Reminds me of that time. I've not caught it out.

I've not caught it out. I'm not going to catch it out. with that guy. It reminds me of that time I spent a weekend at my Uncle Bernie's house. Woah! Wow! Yeah, a lot of action going on in that quest. Oh, yes, they found a falsetto moronner now, finally, closer to that goal of bringing back Otox's daughter, Activia. They've been out there a long time, like how long does it take to walk across all of the food?

Uh, are they walking? I don't- I think- They shouldn't have walked. I guess that's true. Also, like, I don't know if they're just sort of wandering if they have a specific destination while I really should have asked. It's really, it's on me as an interviewer to not really hit before they left, ask them like, boy, I'll say.

Where are you going? It is on you. Yeah. But me being a mediocre interviewer, Gracie, let's get back to what's going on with the last of the single out folk. Okay. I have a question about the beliefs of your cult.

Okay. The big pillow in the sky, right? Yeah. Is it, so it's one giant pillow that everybody sleeps on? Yeah, yeah, it's amazing. So we're all on this giant pillow. We're all comfortable. There's no more hardship or heartache.

We're embraced by the softness of it. And we're grateful for the comfort it brings us. A pillow, though, like, after a certain size, like a pillow probably isn't really good at doing what a pillow does, like it probably feels great for your body, but it's ironically not great next support. So if you're in the pillow in the sky

and one person's on one end of the pillow and the other person's on the other end and one jumps, does the other person fly up into the air? Yeah, that's how pillows work, isn't it? Who is this guy? He's king of the bad guys! Come on! He's king of the badgers! Oh! Sorry, don't believe in your pillow in the sky. I have a hard time grasping it. I'm sorry that you're kidding. I believe in a spirit in the sky.

I'm sorry. You believe in a spirit in the sky? You know, I've never really... Are you gonna go there before you die? What? No. How about after you die? Yeah, probably. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. I've never, you know, I can just realizing. I've never asked Chuck what he believes. Like I kind of think I know what you said or believes because he talks about it a lot. But Chuck, like what are your religious beliefs? I believe that thousands of years ago, a woman came to Foon and her name was sissy space

chick she was from space her name's species sissy space chick sissy space chick and she carried with her the blood of all the innocent wow and she dumped it over her head do you have any idea what her father's occupation was by any chance I think he was maybe he he did something with Cole. Maybe like a Cole minor. Maybe. That sounds about it. Sure, yeah, yeah.

But I believe that she came here, she dumped blood on herself as a sacrifice. When she did it, she's like, what did I do? And she's like, all the doors and food shut. Wow. And then she ascended upward into this guy. So I think she's now a spirit in the sky. And I feel like when I die, hopefully I get welcomed

into her embrace. So modern. So modern. Surely she sleeps at top of pillow. I host, yeah. Well, I'm sure it's like a regular size pillow, though. I don't believe that's the destination. I think that's part of her home.

I just feel like a regular size pillow in the sky is probably more useful than a giant pillow in the sky Now what I believe is that the goddesses Foo-U and Oon created all of these things and that if you tell me about the pillow in the sky or Sissy space chick, I believe that this is all possible Mm-hmm that all of these things under the umbrella of the three goddesses may exist I have no reason to doubt your pillow. I have a little reason, but Overall, I'm willing to give it a shot. So you believe that your religion can encompass all of the religions and they're also The same thing. I know what you're spoken, but you seem by high. What do you believe? I don't believe anything really sounds about

I was raised I was raised in a religion that's very popular on my world called Catholicism. And it's called Catholicism. And it's poppular. And it's talking. Catholic, and it's popular. It's pretty popular. You are like running down the streets with Catholicism flags.

Yeah, more or less, practically. Okay. And then I, you know, I kind of, over the years come to not really believe in much of anything. I believe, I kind of don't believe in anything, but you know what? Here I do want to become a sissy-tologist. A sissy-tologist is a- That's what my-

This is a space- A sissy-space chick. Wow. What we're called sissy-tologist. Sissy-tologist. What would it take for me to join? Well, we'd have to sit in a room and you'd have to tell me your secrets and I would write those down and then you would gain a level

every time you told me enough secrets. And then if you gained enough levels you'd be able to meet Sissy you know in the sky in the bedroom. I think I'm gonna Elrana away from that one. What? Never mind. Earth people are... saved. Loving it. Now Arnie, you say you don't believe anything, but I don't know if that's true.

Really? Yeah, do you believe in the goodness of your fellow person? I do. Do you believe that in order to achieve good, you have to sacrifice? Um... Uh, generally? Do you like that in order to achieve good, you have to sacrifice? Um, uh, generally. Do you like wearing robes? I do, I think I would probably look good in a robe.

And I have to say, I'm excited to live in a world now where it's probably far more acceptable. Let me just walk around in a robe. Like look, my form, probably the thing I should be wearing is a robe. But in my world, if I just walk around a row people are not gonna it's gonna be weird I'm like a terrible place to live for the record. I'm on board with all the things you mentioned to yeah robes good people helping Sacrifice I love it you are great. I gotta say from when you first pitched us to now like the timing of that the way You found yourself in the way you talk. I mean, you have really done a great job. A little charisma. Let's give Grace here on a book.

Very nice. Fantastic. That was fantastic. Yeah, man. Thank you so much. Do you think now you can go out and recruit people into your cult more easily? I feel like now that there are four of us, I think it's going to be... Well, we didn't see.

I don't think we said we joined. You gave me a round of applause. No, we were just saying like your pitch You you you've progressed you've done really well on the loading your pitch exactly This one gigantic roleplay we've been doing this whole time. Yeah thumbs up. Well, Gracie I'm sorry if we led you on like you sort of said we were role-playing And I guess you didn't know when the sometimes it's hard to know when the role play begins and ends But we were playing you know sort of characters similar to ourselves, but that's over now, and now everything that we're saying is literally true. Can I ask your cult? Instead of joining the cult, can I just like

give a donation or do something to where I can, if it happens, if it turns out that that was that, if your religion or cult was the real thing that I'm just kind of covering my bases? Does that make sense? Like a side bet? Yeah, I understand the concept of a side bet. We'll accept donations of rocks. Okay, Yusador? Yusador's got a lot of rocks. Oh, yes. Matter of fact, the idea of going to the swamp

and collecting rocks does sort of appeal to me. Yusador, I'm surprised that you are not. You're not. I'm surprised you're not already in this cult, you said. I mean, they sacrifice. They believe in the goodness of people. Sleepy on a pillow would be nice. I'm not gonna lie.

I don't mind sleeping on rocks. I've slept on worse things on my adventures and my quests. What's the worst thing you've ever slept on, you said, or the dead body of a horse that was bisected. Oh, I slept on the inside of it. Oh, on the end, did you still wake up at a 90 degree angle? Oh, yes, 90 degree angle. Shot right out of that horse. Blue straight up into the sky. No, it's guts everywhere. Yes. I wish I was angel. You know, I find, I, look, I'm gonna be honest about this whole falling out of the insane crown posse. I, I, I find the insane crown posse kind of annoying.

What, it's a miracle we even found each other. I find, I find, I find you guys kind of like, kind of weird and I feel like you're sort of a grosser version of yourself when you're with them, but also like if he's your friend, you should make an effort to kind of like make up with him. All right. Thanks, Ryan.

You're welcome. You're a good host. I can tell you from experience that being alone isn't something you want to do long term. Gracie, how have you been spending the time by your... Have you been out there in the swamp for like two years all by yourself? Two and a half years. In the beginning part of the week, I make a trek to the mountain.

In the later part of the week, I make a trek to the mountain. In the later part of the week, I make a trek back to the marsh. Is that Sherman's marsh? Yeah, sure. This is marsh, correct. I hate that guy. He's not all that bad. He lets us set up camp in his marsh.

Yeah, but he also allows a lot of fires. He does allow a lot of fires. Oh, marsh fires, the worst. So marsh fires bring a probe. I know what I'm saying. What is that? You know that thing? I know that thing.

You said, or what's your version of that thing? When there is a Mars fire setting of flame, it's even more likely than the process by which water is evaporated into the air and then returns to the earth in the form of rain is even greater and with this increased amount of rain so does increase the amount of flowers grown but be careful do not kill a flower unless you know it is not sentient. Yeah, that's the same way I know it. Well, Gracie, thank you so much for joining us and good luck to you getting other people to join your calls.

Or, you know, maybe you should even consider just joining someone else's calls. Oh, no, I'm a lifer for the single folks, but I just want to thank the three of you, Arnie, used to do in the other guy. I feel like three of you have provided me with the necessary skills to go out there and get people to join. That's great. I think you're all going to be a huge success! Yay! And I think now you know how to, you know, win friends and influence people. Thank you. So Arnold, can I open one of these packages? Yeah, people we've been finding packages behind the Vermilion Minotaur addressed to me, people have been shutting them through the portal. He is tearing that apart with his mouth. It says on a part of the box, it says inside and out this package is proudly recycled.

Ooh. And then there's some of this weird earth material inside and then a little pop. Oh, it's fun to pop. Yeah, pop those little things. And then there's some black, very delicate paper. Oh, then in there, there's a little scroll. Now, let me read this scroll to everyone. Eh, yes.

Wow, that's quite a... It's a lot of text on that scroll. This keeps going. You should know the blue. I write to you for two very important reasons. The first of which being to tell you of your secret names, which you yourself do not know. Hmm.

You may choose to read the following to yourself or allow. Too late. You are known in the Hudson Valley as Rip Van Magic Pants. And that's the list of things I can barely remember. Inclosed as a magic rock, my gift to you, which I procured from a surly lobster shape shifter question mark on a recent trip to Cape of the Cape of Cod. Use it well, I hope it helps you in your quest to defeat the Dark Lord. Would if I could help you, yours, white witch, La Blanchita. Ooh.

Oh, thank you, La Blanchita. I can't wait to take a look at this rock. Oh, yes. Remove carefully. L.B. Yes. Oh, piece of beautiful red cloth. There reminds me of the lovely Genelevia.

Oh, oh, oh, there's some sand in here. Oh, good. All right. Oh, fresh from the beach. What a beautiful rock. Thank you white witch. I shall use it when Did she say what magic it had? I can tell you can tell like look just eyeballing it. What kind of magic does that rock have? Mm-hmm. I'm guessing it can like poke a guy's eye out. Oh Magic. Mm-hmm. Well, it's a lovely rock and I thank you again, La Blanchita. Yeah, and as usual, you know, we've actually gotten a bit behind on our emails, but you can email me at Magic Tavern at puppies that supplies.

It's a real email address. I'm sorry, we can never answer all your emails, but I do try to read all of them. Here's one we got recently. I haven't heard Yusidor's pipe smoking noises in a while, has the master of light and shadow quits smoking from Chris Brayton. Pronounced Brayton, but you guys can say it however you want to. How do you want to say Chris Brayton's name?

Dog shanks, brinkle sleeves. Alright, thank you. Chris Dog shanks, brinkle sleeve. You said earlier, I haven't seen, I mean you still carry the pipe around, but I haven't seen you smoke that pipe in a while. Oh yes, I don't smoke it as much on the podcast as I used to, because I know it bothers people in the enclosed area, so I take it outside. Yeah, also Blemish, one of the things that Blemish has done in the tavern is made so people

are not allowed to smoke inside the tavern. Blemish, it was coming up with new rules. All right, apparently you can only have 15 drinks and then you're a drunk mess. So you said where you've been smoking less because you have to go outside to smoke? Do you think you can maybe quit? Quit the pipe?

All right, I suppose, yes of course. All right, should I? I mean, it's kind of a dirty habit. Maybe you, maybe where your eye patch. I could wear my eye patch and see if I can smoke. See, that might just help you. I feel like wearing an eye patch is just as good as smoking a pipe Well, when you can't see the smoke you don't when you can't see the pipe you don't want to smoke the pipe

So I decide other minds where you just take the pipe and just kind of like nawn it like gum it I suppose I could just yeah, just do the gum method. Yeah, that would work to yeah I think any of those would work. Well, thank you so much everybody say good night Gracie Good night Gracie. Good night. Gracie. And now our show Bible is complete because we've finally answered the call of the masses and described our character's morning rituals.

In the Marvel Universe, this would be known as Phase 34. Use a door the master class on not waiting your turn was played by Matt Young. Remember not to operate heavy machinery or drive a vehicle while enjoying chunt as played by Adel Raffaie. Gracie, the lonely cult member, was played by special guest Scott Elung. Scott performs with Sears Tower at Chicago's I-O Theater, and he's also the producer of the third-coast improv fest in Nashville, Tennessee, and sometimes he wears shoes. To learn more about the festival, visit thirdcoastimprofess.com.

Submissions are now open. Otock Barley's foot was played by Nick Bear. Flower was played by Brooke Bright. Crom the thingarian was played by Mark Logstim. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Ryan DeGeorgie, Evan Jacoba, and Arden Neacamp. This episode edited by Evan Jacoba. Craig take the mic while I incinerate the Shore Wheel

as the recyclables continue to go unsorted. I thought the Shore Wheel was still in the planning phase, but music by Andy Polin, the logo by Allard LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistants at Bygare at Shultz. Visit us at alofromthemagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter. Remember, if you want to see Magic Tavern live, you have a couple chances. First, in Chicago on August 16th, this part of these sounds like Chicago Podcast Festival,

that's at the Steppenwolf Theater. You'll find a link in the live show section below from themagictavern.com. And we're also going to be a part of the big now here this Podcast Festival in Anaheim, California, in October along with WTF, Comedy Bang Bang, Lore, Super Ego, and a lot of other shows that make us look cool for being a part of it. Get more info about that at nowherethisfess.com. Craig, come here and take a look at this. Is this clear glass?

Uh, I guess not. I don't know. Is it not clear? Because I would say it is clearly tinted storm cloud gray. We should all listen to space and water.