Hello From The Magic Tavern - Arnie's Birthday Bonus Scene

Episode Date: January 7, 2019

Due to some unfortunate real life stuff, we had to take one more week off without an episode but here’s a fun scene set in Arnie’s bedroom.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Tim JoyceTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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collide in a game of life and death. Binge all 10 episodes of Academy, early and ad-free, on Wondery Plus. Hey folks, it's Craig up here on The Space Bunker. We were supposed to be back from our winter solstice break this week, but unfortunately some real-life stuff intervened. Details are on the Magic Tavern Facebook page, so we don't have a full transmission this week, but the sensors are picking up something I'm going to call a bonus transmission. So I'm going to patch that through.

That'll tie you over, right? And we'll be back for real next week. Enjoy! I'm gonna open the door. Ernie! Hey buddy! Hey BingBong! Rising get wet! Rising get wet! He doesn't seem to be getting wet. No! Hey buddy! Hey Bing-Bong! Rise and get wet!

Rise and get wet! He doesn't seem to be making him. What are you doing here? I've been watching on his sleep lately. So I can peer inside his mind and learn all his secrets. I really blend in with the covers. Thank you. That blue duvet.

Yes. Duvet, is that the right comforter? Duvet, what's the difference? You can have a Duvet or a Trivet or a Quadvet, whatever you want. What if you have a Blue Duvet, what'd it be called a Bluevet? You can have a Bluevet. And what's the name of the guy who parks your cart? Like if you go to a nice restaurant and you want to park your horse in carriage? That's a valid.

And what's the difference between a car? Wait, what are you guys doing in my room? We're discussing the difference between a Duvet and a Val, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait It's time to do the nice dream. What do you have the bins? Come on get out of bed. We got to do the podcast. Oh, is it podcast? Hey What is this dream? You must share the secret of your dream. Oh, yeah, it could be the key that unlocks all Of the battles we've been building up to let's get those juicy juicy dreamtales. Yes, yes You can't stop purfing up into my room. I've got to get those dream juicy dream tails. Yes, yes. You guys stop purving up into my room. Gotta get those dream tails. It is pipe cream tails.

Dream details. This dream tails. This pipe weed isn't bothering you, is it? Ugh, life is like a hurricane here in Pervberg. Ooh, getting those dream tails. Ooh. Look, I know, I know we had a couple of weeks off for winter solstice.

I'm just kind of feeling, not feeling kind of lazy and tired. I'm sorry. We just a couple of weeks off for Winter Solstice. I'm just kind of feeling kind of lazy and tired. I'm sorry. We just a couple of weeks off. What happened to those fun ass podcasts we recorded? Oh, they just weren't up to snuff. But I sing all those songs. Yeah, it was just wall to wall singing. I thought there was some of our best.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. It was a Von Pizzo, which came back. Yeah, you know, I feel like if we're gonna do more singing, we should just like prepare lyrics beforehand. That doesn't make sense. We also had the Granchon. He was so funny.

Remember the Granch? Yeah, I think so. Arnie, come on, you gotta get a bit, but we actually won an award. What? What is this? We got an award. Somebody shoved an award through the portal. Finally, it's been so long.

Is it like Apple Podcast, the most promising podcast of the year? Or... No, I think it's just some dude who made us an award. Oh. It's a little plaque here, let me read that was actually a pretty big plaque. It says, the previous award on the show inspired this prestigious honor and late night impulse by, since you're thanks for the years of entertainment. You've earned more nonsensical awards than I could ever hope to purchase. From confused engraving companies thanks for the window, into phone, Jared and it says, Jared Key Anderson Choice Award presented to Hello for the

Magic Tavern 2018 award for the best true crime slash self-help podcast. Oh, in some way gets us. Finally, is that where we're housed on Apple? I don't think we can be housed in two different categories on Apple. Well, then I would say true crime. In special recognition of you literally asking me for this award, did you ask me for you? He gave us that best but-hole-related podcast award a few years back and when we lovingly threw it in the river

underneath the tavern, we did mention that we hadn't gotten an award from him in the last couple of years. Yeah. Now, Jared, now is Jared Kay Anderson the most famous person upon Earth? Don't you say there's a jeweler on Earth called Jared? Oh, you went to Jared.

On Earth, what letter does KISS start with? What letter does KISS start with? Mm-hmm. KISS lettered his kiss start with what letter does kiss start with? Okay, does every kiss begin with cake? Yeah, yeah, um, I wish I knew the song at the the shadows on the Well, hold up if you're gonna see a song you better know lyrics. Let's get those hammered out beforehand Let me write them down See guys, I'm in no shape to do an episode today. Come on buddy. You've been moping around I just actually just been enjoying Sleeping in and I don't I kind of keep wanting to go to bed. You have all these bed sores

Well, those aren't new. Are you depressed? I? Don't know is it depression if you you just wanna live in your dreams? Maybe. I don't know. Sounds like a pop song. Can I ask in your dreams, are you sleeping? Or are you up and even about doing stuff? I'm on earth, I'm doing like normal everyday stuff.

It's weird, it's like the exact opposite of being in a fantasy world. What's normal well except that, yeah, it is the opposite because I actually am doing things, I'm getting stuff done. Oh, there you go. Sometimes I do the dishes, I drive around, get groceries, take care of my daughter. Phone, phone.

That's not, that's not her name. On Earth, how do you do dishes? Yes, tell us the list, the most serious detains. This gives us a high salacious dish. I am not gonna tell you the intricate, the most ridiculous, because I don't want people to know that I maybe, This gives us a solution to the chase. I am not going to tell you the intricate tale of how to do digits, because I don't want people to know that I maybe,

there's always some chance I'm doing them slightly wrong. Ooh, dirty nasty boy. You're nasty. You're a little nasty boy, doing them dishes dirty. Come on, wake up, we want to do the podcast. We want to do the podcast. Kind of this, we're getting so close to 100 episodes in season two, and that's usually when the shit hits

the fan, let's take this week to really like rest up and prepare and hit the ground running next week. Why do the problems always happen at the exact same time? It seems formulaic. I feel like it's like a Voldemort thing. And how are you shooting that it always hits the fan? I've drawn you many diagrams, buddy. You have to sit down on the fan. I've drawn you many diagrams, buddy. You have to sit down on the box.

Nope. Not for me. Don't try to box in my standing and shitting. You always shit outside the box. That's true. Alright, if you don't want to do the podcast, how about this? We all go take voice lessons. Ooh.

So we can sing. I wanna do voices. I'm a churn to- Wait, I should probably change my name if I'm in due voice My name is Michael Sullivan and I live three houses down in a little Branch style house my wife's name is borough brun we raise cats and horses Beautiful. Yeah, you know what? John take this microphone Both of them take mine. Okay take mine and yours and

Just go ahead walk around do that character for a while. I'm gonna go back to bed Well, maybe Michael Sullivan will host this podcast. Hello from the Magic Tavern My name is Michael Sullivan and this morning I fell through a portal in my ranch house where I Raise cats and horses with my wife Borbra, and I'm joined as always by my wacky cousin who lives in the basement Kyle. Oh, I'm Kyle. I'm wacky. You know how I live in the basement Yeah, wait, give me this other mic. God damn it Arnie. Hi. I'm so sorry. I feel like we're getting dangerously close to being beyond bonus scene length. And then if we don't do an episode but do a really long bonus scene,

then it doesn't seem like something went wrong and we need to skip a week. It seems like we're just dicks. We're just dicks. It didn't have like five more minutes. You didn't like Kyle. Yeah, do you have any feedback for us? Oh, I'm, I, who's Kyle? Kyle is the wacky cousin who lives in the basement.

Oh, maybe there's a place behind the paywall for Kyle and Michael. What's this paywall you always talk about? Why do we want to get behind it? I think we shouldn't get behind it. I think we, we should have considered being behind it. I think there are certain characters that could go even further. They can go behind the house too.

Can I say something else too? Sure. What's with all these ads? Which ones? Like, do we need to make money? Can't we just live off the enjoyment of doing something? Can't we just eat enjoyment? We make money?

Can't we pay rent with enjoyment? Get a good chunt. What? Don't talk about the money we make with ads. We make money? Use the door. I thought those ads were just for fun. They are, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah. I'm so sorry. Yeah, yeah. That's fine. Anyway, let's do one of our fun ads. You said, or why don't you do a here's an ad we have for doors. Gentle listener. Do you find yourself inside four walls with a hole in it where any fool can enter

and kill you while you sleep? If so, buy a door. Pretty good. Pretty good. Got a www.door.com slash magic. Dot door dot com. What did I say? Now that's right.

Somehow I thought never mind. I thought there was something funny going on in there. Extra that wasn't there. It was just my mind. There's something funny going on. Let's do it. I somehow thought the dot was spelled out, and I'm like, no, there would be a dot there. www.door.com.

Are there places called like dot dot com? There's got to be. www.theaternetzener.com dot dot com. Yeah, I'm going back to bed. Could a man ever been named dot com? I'm not gonna engage anymore. I'm asleep. Arnie, wake up. Wakey, wakey upy.

This is not gonna exit. Arnie, it's a full episode of this. Go giddy breffy. Go giddy breffy. What was that? Arnie just growled. I snore like a like a guy here. So don't getty breffy go getty breffy. What was that? Arti just growled. I snore like a like this is his character already gonna do his character So I have Michael Sullivan. We have Kyle lives in the basement. Arnie. Here's your character. Here you go. Take both mics I mean, I'm not not thrilled with it, but if that's your choice, then I'll support it, aren't you? Mimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimimim This is fascinating. Let's give him a tattoo. Yes.

Okay, let me just start. I'm grieving. With a knife! you