Hello From The Magic Tavern - INTERLUDE - Five Mirror World Years

Episode Date: March 16, 2020

Meanwhile in the evil alternate version of Foon, Carnival Wilson, Usidore the Black and Wendigo Wilson prepare for a meeting with Good Tannakin and Good Blemish.CreditsCarnival Wilson: Arnie NiekampWendigo Wilson: Adal RifaiUsidore the Black: Matt YoungTannakin the Good: Sarah LogsdonGood Blemish: Martin WilsonEvil Otok Barleyfoot: Nick BaerEvil Bungaree Chubbins: Tom GotliebMysterious Man: Tim SniffenLincoln: Evan JacoverProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Sage G.C.Special Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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You know I admit, I was dismissive towards you at first, but I've really come to appreciate you, Buchanan. It's Lincoln. Let's let history be the judge of that. Okay. Anyway, I've been going through some old transcripts for a report for the higher ups and I stumbled upon a couple of mentions of a mirror-foon or an evil-foon. Do you know anything about that? Well, between us, there's an infinite number of realities, so even alternate realities

like Foon get their own alternate reality. You know, a Hobbs and Shaw for every Tokyo Drift. Oh, great, thank you for localizing that idea. Come to think of it, a few years back, I even intercepted one of the podcasts coming from an alternate fune. Oh, cowboy world? Was it cowboy world? No, that idea ran out of gas after Anthony Hopkins said, check, please. No, there's an evil one where Nathan, Fizzbang, and the talking dog actually work for the Dark Lord. Whoa, does that podcast still exist?

Lincoln, normally I'd say who cares? But it is so nice to have some company around here that I'm going to say, let's find out. Turn that dial behind you one notch to the left. So that's what this dial does. No, it controls the clocks and you just adjusted for daylight savings time. But now, prepare for another visit to the evil fruit. Hello from the Evil Tavern! A weekly podcast from the horrible land of fune.

I'm your host, the trickster god Carnival Wilson. If you've never listened to the podcast before, Fiii you are my enemy! But here's everything you need to know, five years ago almost exactly. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Chick-fil-A in evil Chicago into the magical fantastical land of food. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from that Chick-fil-A, somehow even though we use the panel up to destroy most of Earth. And I'm getting that through the portal, and I use that to upload this podcast.

I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, and the Town of Hogsface, in the land of Foon, which has been conquered by the Dark Lord, and I am one of his emissaries, and I am joined, as always, by my co-host, Yusador the Black. I am Yusador,

anacery of the Dark Lord of Foon, fallen wizard of the realms of Ephesius, so-so-er-bound of the Dark Lord of Thune, fallen wizard of the realms of Ephesius, sorcerer bound the Gaelothein clan, scourge of the battle of the Thirteen armies, emulator of the Wall of Fire, disemballer of the Great Dragon Krasesky, defacer of the Great Holes of Taurakis, the Fairfooknomeas Fairfly Yusolo,

the Oxnomeas Tumas Nesegia, and someday I will have names keep both tearing this world a subdued-er. Hey, Yusudor, how you doing? I am well, Carnival. How are you today? You know, it's our five-year anniversary of doing this evil podcast. Um, we've done a lot of great things to help the Dark Lord.

Have we? We destroyed all of Earth, certainly. Yeah. But things have not been going as I have hoped. The last couple of years, things have taken a little bit of a turn. You know, three years ago, the Dark Lord had conquered all of Phoon. Things were going great, but the tide seems to have turned, and I'm a little worried that the Dark Lord's reign may be at an end.

It does seem that way, but I was afraid more to, you know, to what? What are you, you're, you're checking my head over towards when they go. Oh, yeah. Should we not talk just right in front of him? What? No, I'm just saying that you know, things are, well it's not my place to comment on. Yeah, I might only introduce it.

I don't want to just talk. Sure, front. Sure. I am joined by my other co-host. He is a cursid windiego who eats human flesh. He used to be my life partner, but you know what, we've decided. Conf, former life partner, what a phrase.

But we have decided that we're gonna still do the podcast together, even though we're not an item anymore. Mm-hmm. When do you go Wilson? When do you go fuck yourself? Yeah, Arnie. Yeah, when do you go? I know this is a little bit awkward,

but I think that like, a little bit awkward. Let's try to be civil. Look, I know this is an evil podcast, but let's not be evil to each other. Let's try to be civil. Remember what Dr. Ward said, our should be our mantra. We can be good friends.

We can be good friends. All right. Carnival. I'm sorry. Thank you. I respect you. I love you. And as per our separation settlements, I own 2.5, the last five years of this podcast.

That is true, but not the good ones. And I'm gonna go back in and I'm gonna add all kinds of sound effects, all kinds of purips, and like, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I mean, more of an honorarium. Yeah, I mean, honestly, this is just you're doing this for exposure. Well, I would be upset if I didn't respect how evil it was of you to cut me out. Oh, yeah, absolutely. But here's the thing I want to say. Look, this is a five-year anniversary of us doing this evil podcast, a spread evil around Foon and to Earth, which

we've mostly destroyed. But it's kind of a bummer that like this might be the last episode, where we're actually scheduled to sign a Treaty of Surrender with the Rebellion. Hmm. Was it us? Did we fail? Were we not evil enough to... Yeah, I think so.

Can I say something? Yeah. And this is just my opinion. This is just Windigo throwing this out there. I think we didn't do enough live episodes. Here in this world, everyone loves the live episodes. It's just the audio, right? They're here being there.

They love the audio live episodes. They love not knowing when a physical thing is happening. They're just sort of like, I don't 100% know what that physical thing is. I can kind of infer it about 80%. And if it wasn't a live episode with the audio, they would complain about it. Right, and you know why? What is live backwards?

Elves. Elves. Is this about elves? No. Evil. You're right. Live shows backwards is evil. Uh, so is what? We'll just focus on the live part. You're right. Life shows backwards is evil.

So is what? We'll just focus on the life part. Life backwards is evil. We should have done more live shows because they're evil. Yeah, well, you know what, I mean, I think we know what the main problem was. The main problem was that cursed mirror world that we started tampering with trying to invade a world that is

Sort of the opposite of this one to a certain extent, although it's not a one-for-one Plus no insights into our analytics. Yeah, that is absolutely true We do know that we were number one in Arkansas. I know There was a time we were at the state we were at the top of the zone charts, but we just couldn't stay there. Yeah. But the real problem is when we tried to go to that mirror world and we accidentally swapped Tanikin the terrible for that good penguin from that other world. The other Tanikin. Oh, we were so greedy. We wanted to go to another world to spread our evil there. And now we destroyed our own world in the process.

And if we broke the mirror world, of course, if you break a mirror world, that's five years good luck. Five for those against us. Is that five? It's so funny I've been in this evil world. We're like five years. We just call it a world. Oh, oh, okay, that's weird,

because I come from evil Chicago, and we called it evil Chicago. Which is weird because there's not, there's not like another Chicago. It's sometimes it doesn't hurt to put a real pin on it, though, just so you know. And you said an evil Chicago dog is only ketchup? Oh yeah, oh yeah.

No meat. No fun, No fun. Just ketchup. Squirt ketchup down your gallet. And you said, malort is delicious. Oh yeah. Got to try that. It's delicious.

And also is not something you do to make yourself seem more interesting. And you said it's called the stagnant city? I've said all of these things. Yes. Several years ago, my spell went wrong. When Arnie interrupted it. Look, I am a trickster, God.

If you're doing a spell, I'm gonna get some high jinx in there. You know, it's not just about evil alone. You gotta bring some joy to it. But you destroyed our world and the process. What if I destroy you now? What if I do a spell on you? Or yeah, what if we go to evil Chicago and destroy that? What if we sneak into the JC pinney's tower and pull some shenanigans inside of it?

Well, when Digo we destroyed all of Earth that includes evil Chicago now earlier you said These are one of the things most Destroy when you don't listen one of the things you don't like we We don't want you don't want them up. Oh no, child Sorry, I'm being defensive my catchphrases. We can be good friends. Did you dig hands order some blood? Oh? Yes, hey otak just tap from a web mother nice Soppin on the table here Hey, otak. Thank you. I know it's despicable to even say it, but thank you for hosting us while we sign this treaty. Fuck off, tall man. No, classic Otak. You're gouging my table again with that goddamn

mic stand. Get out of here, prick. I like you. I know. You two are buds. Yeah, I like otoc. Usador, how is that spin-off podcast that you and otoc have been doing? The one about finding brownies in the forest and then baking them into real brownies. Uh, yeah. Not bad. Well also, Usador, the black and I have a podcast called Steel with Nuts. Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm Usador, and I'm Wendigo. Who took my nuts? Well, out on nuts. I suspect I know it's the same son of a bitch who destroyed all of food. I is not me. I did not touch your nuts. What's that in your pocket?

Those are my nuts. They're spilling out of your pants. Show us. There's a trail of nuts. Look, we can't do a Steel andand-nuts episode or a brownie and buds. We got to do hello from the evil tavern, and it looks like our quote-unquote guests are here. Tanikin the good, and her second-in-command blinished the good. Have a seat. Everyone stand back. Make room for Tanikin.

Let her sit down. She will accept your surrender. Hello guys. How's it going? Hey Tanikin. Tanikin. Thanks for clearing such a perfectly sized seat for me. Yeah, well, we didn't want to be rude.

But evil, but not rude. We are evil, but you know what? It's difficult. You can't expect a chair to fit everyone, right? Like, if certain people have different needs for how they sit, you gotta get them a chair that works for them. Yeah. It's B-Y-O-C-S-O-S.

You watch your mouth in front of Tenakin. Blamish, he's son of a bitch. You're the son of a bitch, O-Tuck. Wait, I thought it was B-Y-O-C. Blamish, you old cock. BYOC. All right, everyone. Think of rainbows.

Uh, you do, man. I'm thinking of rainbows. It's hard when she says it. It's hard not. Like, I don't want to think about rainbows. If they get out of line again, Tennigan, not towards me. I'll slurp my body. What? You know what? I'll slurp my body? I'll slurp my floor and slap them again.

Would you take out a rib? You're the slurp your body, Bragg. You got it. Thanks so much, Blemi. Blemi? Too cute. Well, I was going to say, I love this chair because there's a nice spot for me to rest my low wings. And there's a little hole in the bottom for your tail to stick out. Uh-huh. So much more comfortable than sitting on it. It isn't adorable.

Look, I've got to say, I miss Tanikin the Terrible, the evil flying penguin who was covered in tattoos and would kill people indiscriminately. And who, frankly, destroyed half of blemish's body. But Tanikin the good, you're pretty adorable. I feel like, yeah, I feel some guilt over what tanick in the terrible has done, but then I quietly remind myself, it wasn't me.

Can I ask, and I know we are here to do some geopolitical, a tree of surrender, and also I know that I may or may not have used the word geopolitical correctly there. But I have to ask, because I've always wondered, blemish and tanican. Like, how did you two kind of end up aligning with each other? Because that's a, like I know tanican, you're not the same tanican, but still blemish. Like that's a person who destroyed half of your body. Like when you see tanican, that that's gotta bring up difficult memories.

First of all, even when she destroyed half my body, it was objectively hilarious and adorable to watch. Yeah. It was like a funny Bill's palsy. Correct. So, once I realized and was dragging myself through the forest and saw her, you wouldn't run from her. She's adorable. Would you run from her? No! I'd stop and be like, look at that thing. Oh no, child. Yes. And once I saw her in the woods and we got better way Tanik in to atone for all that your mirror self has done than to do

Right in food and set all things back to good No one could unite all of the disgusting creatures the salamanders the Snakes the beetles all of the good creatures of food, like Tanik and the good. And we've all rallied behind her, and I am honored to pledge half of my body and all of my life to her work. Oh, well, I'm a windigo. We have a wizard. How are you going to defeat Salamander snakes and beetles?

I'm a wizard. I'm a fallen wizard. I'm a sorcerer now. It's true. Well, they have the beetles. We have monkeys. The monkeys are on our side. It's true. Well, they have the Beatles. We have monkeys. That's true.

The monkeys are on our side. Oh, evil flying monkeys. Yeah. But you know what? There's wings. They're not really able to use those wings. And I don't think they really use those swords. I think they mime the swords, but I don't think they really know what they're doing.

Yeah. Yeah. Tannin can, can I ask? You've done such a good job, like spearheading and raising a rebellion that has turned the tide against the dark Lord. I've heard that you've been like going from town to town like gratax and other places. I know all the other names. I'm just not gonna say them and you have been giving speeches, rallying troops, getting them to follow you. Would you mind giving us a taste of one of those speeches? Of course.

Here's the latest speech that I gave in gratax. I went to the town center and I flew up into the air, seven feet or so, and I looked down and I started singing. It's a beautiful world! And everybody started gathering around me and I just started singing that that one phrase over and over again Oh, oh, we all suppose you think you can still fly right? It's a beautiful world How did that even work like I get that I would get their attention But like was there any point where you transition to explaining but like, was there any point where you transitioned to explaining what you want them to do? Of course! Of course! So first of all, the song put them in quite a positive mood,

which was a huge change to begin with, and then they were receptive to my message. And wait, Tannik, you didn't even mention things that are beautiful, like, you know, clouds of ice and trees of green. You just simply said it's a beautiful world. Mm-hmm, that's all I needed to say. Can I hear it one more time? It's a beautiful world! Ah, my eyes are leaking. I don't know what's happening here. Oh gosh.

You okay? Are you bleeding? Yeah, I think so. Is this clear blood? What is this? I think it is. It's actually blood. Oh? Yeah, I think so. Is this clear blood? What is this? I think it is. It's actually blood. Oh, oh, yeah, it's just blood. Sorry, what's your bleeding? Have you been taking care of yourself?

No. I've been dying your blood clear. What? You said on Earth, in the evil Chicago, you said everyone drinks clear Pepsi. Oh, yeah He said that's the norm one time they came out with a brown Pepsi that kind of faded. Yes, but you said everybody drinks So I was like I would I wanted to appeal to you after we separated I was like let me win him back and I'll turn my blood clear. Yeah in evil Chicago

We know two things one Pepsi better than coke two, the clear version is the real version. And you said on Earth, on Evil Earth, the number one show is Iles in Brasoli? Yeah, also, well, either that or order in law. I've also been dying your blood clear. What? Why, why are you doing that? Because if you cut yourself, you might not realize you're bleeding out. And then I could watch you die. As you had no idea, you were about to perish. Look, Rainbow's rainbow.

I'm thinking about rainbows again. Here's a basket of orc goitters for the table. Fuck off. Listen, shit stick. Oh, talk, I want to come to Jazz Combo for 30 minutes from now. So you better hurry this little thing up. That is evil.

Oh, talk, I also would like to register a complaint. We order these orc goiters all the time. And last week you accidentally got like a spice potato in there on accident. Hey, you play with the goiters. Sometimes you get the potatoes. You know the old thing. Oh, another classic.

Also, oh, that reminds me, even though there are less than like 1,000 people still alive on evil earth, sales of that t-shirt are through the roof. The o-talk shirt might be our best seller. If each of you nasty sons of bitches could stop your joking and you're messing around for two seconds and listen to Tannik and Song and actually listen to it. And here what she sings, Tannik and would you?

Could you one more time? Of course, of course. It's a beautiful world. Listen to her as she sings it. It's a beautiful world. Stop joking around, put down your orf goiters. It's a beautiful world. Remember what you could be and what you once were.

All of you, this is what Tannikin's message is. It is that there is a better way. I could have been a great wizard who protected this world. and I am not. Oh, this song has begun to affect my heart, and I feel that I may no longer be as evil as I once was. We are coming with a treaty and an opportunity for each and every one of you. Neither Tenakin nor I hold any ill will towards any of you

for what you have done during this dark time. Right, Tennikan? That's correct, of course. Of course, we hold no grudges. We let go. We recognize that the past is in the past. All we have is now, and it's never too late. What if I hadn't taken a different path? What if I stayed in Evil Chicago and continued with

my podcast? Hey, I'm robbing this fast food restaurant, a podcast, starring Arnie Neacamp. Carnival Wilson? That was my former name was Arnie Neacamp. Ugh, I mean, ugh. Don't love that. Hey, hold on. Your former name was Chunt. Yeah. Chunt. Yeah, right. Even Glemish thinks that's too pervy, right? Never mind, Teniken.

Let's get them to sign these papers and we can put them in prison where they belong. There's no goodness or decency inside any of their souls. I thought Teniken said the past was the past. Lemmy. Lemmy. It's alright! You're getting worked up! We're all friends here!

I just wanted them to hear your song and... Immediately be good and I... Hmm... I was too impatient, I'm sorry Tanikin. Patience, my Blamey? I... Can I ask... After we surrender...

What? What happens to us? It sounds like we're going to prison, is that right Tannikin? No, you're not going to prison Blamey, lemme, blamey. I'm sorry. I got I got angry We're gonna go to prison Arnie like the number one movie of all time on evil earth. Let's go to prison Yeah, directed by David cross. Wait, you're not listening again Tannikin said Tannikin said we're not going to prison.

Tannikin, what's going to happen to us please? I beg of you, have mercy on these evil fools. My point, listen everyone, my plan is that we all live together in harmony, singing songs, creating art, whether it's theatrical or visual or... Could our creations be culinary? I've always wanted to open a place called Windigos to go. Is that sort of a takeout food place? Of course, of course.

What is there but to you and the rest? What is there but to you and the rest? I don't know. I don't know. Tannikin has been training each of us in her army to be a form of art therapist. Any kind of creation can allow you to work through those things which are negative inside you. Put them towards some positive ends if it's food so be it. Each of us has a talent that we can harness and make ourselves better. So wait are you telling me that all of your heroic warriors on the side of the rebellion,

drip fang, du kran goon, they're all just doing art therapy? Yes absolutely. Each one of us has developed a set of skills under Tannikin's guidance. I had to say, I know we're evil, but this kind of sounds like a cult to me. A little bit. Am I wrong? Possibly, but guys, let's all shut up for a minute because in this world, we don't talk over women. Go ahead Tannikin. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's so kind of you.

Oh, thanks, Wendy. Go. So, no, it's definitely not a call. Listen, all we ask is that you give up all of your worldly possessions and wear a rainbow smock. Oh, rainbows. Yes. 24.7.

And that you live in one of our bunkers. Oh, I don't mind rainbows. I hate the word smock. We give up all our possessions? Yep, yeah. Tannakin, would you say 2.5 years of a podcast is a possession? Hmm. That's a great question. That's a yes. She's trying to be nice. Is it something tangible? What does it mean to you? Oh no, this is ortho-p.

Well I guess it all started when I was three. My dad was a ghost. What would you say was your physical form when you were three? I don't want to say. Just like this is this. It's this. It's this kind of stuff. Now the jazz combos here are going to start warming up. Oh, all upright bases? There's five. Yes, five upright bases.

And they're gonna start tuning them any second. Well, let's take a quick break. We'll think about surrendering and we'll be right back with more of the mirror world. Okay, because you get to decide when we take a break. What's that? You get to decide when we take a break. I own two and a half years of this podcast.

All right. And I'm taking the Doctor Word episode. Do you better believe it? What? No, that's... All right, fine. Hello! Does my voice sound familiar?

Remind you of the nightmare you keep having about the simple bowel movement that becomes an ungodly surge of liquidified organs. Hahaha! The hideous cackley here in that dream belongs to me, friends. Evil, bunger, each ovens. Now your misery don't have to wait till bedtime. At Schumann's chamber pots and tools atormant, my dungeon opens when the cock grows to satisfy your masochism. Suppose you're asking for a nitric acid colon cleanse

or a rectal thermometer with grappling hooks. Maybe a urethral dilators what you're after. To eat your zone, I don't judge, I just torture. Okay then, senior dreams. Oh, listen to those five upright bass. Oh gosh. The burn of that stage up. Oh yeah, I feel like dancing to this. Would any of you care to dance with Tanikin and myself? Yes, I've decided to turn a new leaf. I see the beauty in everything that you're saying now, Tanikin.

And I want you to teach me to dance. Oh, we'll stand right on up. Alright. Take off those shoes, they look uncomfortable. You won't be able to move around much in those things. That's alright, I'll set them on fire. Aram Bakakh! You sure those were real baby dolphins?

Not anymore. Now they're just dush. You should just be careful, like, look, if you want life change, I get it, and I can support it, but this does seem a little bit like a cult. Just, if you don't watch out, you're gonna end up like, sewn into a bear corpse and set on fire. Well, and I know you're into that.

I've already done so many evil things in my life. If this is an opportunity to change my ways, I must take it while there is still time. Perhaps you said or the black, maybe come you said or the yellow, once again. Oh, that sounds so sweet. Is that like an option for you? You said or like you killed most of the wizards and they took away your power. Right. That's why you turn into a sorcerer like, can you like of the wizards and they took away your power. That's why you turn into a sorcerer.

Like, can you like do a take-backsy and become a wizard again? I think if I fall down a big shaft and then I come back and I fight my girlfriend's grandfather probably. Okay, but just to be clear, when you turn into a sorcerer, there's nobody that said sorcerer no takebacks? Unless they whispered it and I didn't hear.

Okay, I guess we'll find out. They would, I mean, I feel like they would whisper. They don't want you to, it's like the fine print. Keep dancing, Yusador. Don't listen to all the negativity. You don't know that you can't be something different. Everyone can be something different. Listen to Tanikin and Dance! Yes, my evil ways behind me.

Now I dance like no one is watching! Yes! Dance! Dance! Dance! And Blemmy! Now would be a good time for you to spread the essence of sunshine oil on his chest. Yes! Yes. Wait, wait, wait, Karin, let's see where this goes. Okay. Oh, I'm being anointed.

Wow, he's really dancing like nobody's watching because his dancing is bad. I'm going to undo some of your leather straps now, Yusudor. Thank you. Arnie, would you say he's dancing like a lane in that popular sitcom, Kramer? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Doesn't it feel good?

I feel good for the first time in a long time. What about doing our Brandy podcast? Fuck off! Feel the warmth spread through your chest and up your face! Oh, yeah, it's actually quite tactile sensation. I feel the heat. Have you been taking care of your beard? Uh, no. Have you been taking care of you? No. I haven't.

Where is Yusador in all of this evil? He is just a tool for the Dark Lord. No, Yusador. Remember, remember evil remember the four disagreements the four disagreements Everything's always about you never be generous. Mm-hmm kill those who try and love you and Fight your own mama. That's right. That's right before the bar edition. They've been that difficult. Hey, well, you fuck off Lemmy, let me, more oil, more oil. Yes. Tana can tell him of the four positives.

Electricity. Wait, I want to hear some from Gleppish. Why don't you alternate? All right, I'll do the first one. Electricity is one. Well, no, that's what she said. Right, you're stealing her. No, I'm reiterating this so that we know that we didn't use that electricity.

You evil people, shut up! Damn it, I tried to turn them against each other. Number two is humming. Mmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm- Taste the rainbow! There it is, rainbows again. And number four, hugs. Come closer. Hugs come. Fall into my hooves. Fall into my hooves for an uplifting hug. This is the most wonderful hug I have ever experienced.

What about during our brownie podcast? Fuck. Fuck off, prick. Oh, fuck off. Fuck off. Join a hug right now. We have each been hugged by Tannecann. Easer, don't drink that punch.

Don't drink that punch. Drink deeply, Eesadon. Oh, it's so delicious. It's so cool. It aids me in my quest to become good. This cool aid shall be the most wonderful thing I have ever invited. And now I have a small gift for you, blemish. May I give it to Tanakin? I know you are her personal god. I think the time is right, Tanakin, if you

agree. I agree, blemish. Move forward. my gift. For I have a precious thing which I wish you to have. For you said, you wish to own all of our positions, is that not correct? I wish for you to relinquish all your worldly possessions. No one knows that I'm keeping them all. Then I will start with my most precious one, this multifaceted gemstone. Ooh, pitty pitty pitty pitty pitty. You sure not your multifaceted gemstone? Yes, my multifaceted gemstone.

Keepable of opening portals to other worlds as it does now when I say a rothum tothom. BOOMER! I said a throw a zinger into the middle of that spell. That's kinda what I do. Do you see? Do you see? Do you see what he does? I see.

I see, but even now a portal pulling air through it and now pulling Tanakin in. Tanakin, I banish thee from this room. In the name of the dark lord, I am his servant, and I have defeated you here. Oh snap! In the last moments I snatch victory from Dithy. This little piggyweat home, but byee. What? It looks like it's second blemish in too. Oh, and two stand up bases. Fuck off.

You all will see the air of your ways. You all can and will someday be good. Ah, bye bye. Oh shoot it. Also something one of the good wet mothers. That's good Charlotte. Bye good Charlotte. Bye good Charlotte.

And now, we're knowing that there must be balance in the universes. Shall receive our tikin' back! We're gonna get Tanikin' the Terrible back! Oh my gosh, my heart is shriveling with excitement. Oh. When does that happen? There's smoke is clear, and even now... Take my multi-faceted gemstone back and suckers.

Wait, I see a shadow of a... ...painer. Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So despicable. They fit you perfectly, Tanikin. Thanks. Tanikin the terrible, we are so sorry that we accidentally sent you to that opposite dimension where everything was good. Ah, at first, I really struggled. I hated it with every ounce of my little piggy body. But then, I realized I could really do some damage.

Because everybody was doing nice things, they were happy going about their business, waiting happy lives, lots of room for me to destroy things. And we'll also receive here some evil blemish. Look around for an evil blemish. I don't see any evil blemish. There's this cat here? Was this bowl here before?

There's this weird bowl. O-Talk, will you go clean this bowl? Excuse me? I know that's a weird request. Go clean a bowl. This is not a bowl. Fuckface. This is not our tavern's bowl, but I'll take it. Alright. I wanted to apologize to you, O'Talk.

I had to misdirect the good Tanikin. So, the brownie podcast? It's on. Hell yeah. Tanikin, can you do us a favor? I have this song stuck in my head, but I want you to sing it. Can you sing? It's a terrible world.

It's a terrible world. Oh much better. Listen to those bass players go. Yeah, that's our old Tannik and the terrible. Those dance moves are way too suggestive. And she's really stringing up voices out here. Watch me and tie right my curly tail. Did you see the fine tattoos I got on my curly tail? Oh the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth.

I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth.

I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth.

I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to reach the side of the earth. I'm trying to give us another chance? Hmm. No. Okay. We can be good friends. Yeah. You're a good friend. Well, we could be.

We could be. Okay, we're not. Yeah, let's not rush. Yeah, absolutely. Anyway. If you guys could fill out the four-page comment cards on your table. What? I'd appreciate it. Four pages?

It's four pages. Oh, Jesus Christ. And that's why we don't listen to evil phone more often. It's that rare once every three year treat. Like a Pixar movie that isn't a sequel, Usuror the Black was played by Matt Young. Wendigo Wilson was played by Adolf Refyre. Tannik in the Good was played by Sarah Logston. She'll be playing Lady Capulet in a production of Romeo and Juliet at the Kwanopawit players in Reading Massachusetts from March 27th to April 11th.

Good blemish was played by Martin Wilson. Follow him on Twitter at Martin L. Wilson. Martin performs regularly with... Hmm, after that there's just a watercolor of a frozen decaying cornfield with a smashed robot in the far corner. How sad and boring. Evil Otock Barley Foot was played by Nick Bear. Evil Bungery Chobbins was played by Tom Gottlieb. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neckamp, Matt Young, and Adolf Refy. Post-production Coordination by Garacheltz. Eer will producer Kimmy Lucas. This episode edited by Sage GC. Special assistance by Ryan DeGeorgie. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Adler Dleban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy

Poland. Lincoln, you've earned yourself a trip to Wiener Circle. We'll turn off the communications array tomorrow. After we hose it down to get the addle off of it. Come along! Where, where in the middle of the forest even now? Being quiet, waiting for a brownie to come out of their little adorable wooden home. Is that it? That's it right there, right? That's it. A, right? That's it. A quick note. Yeah.

We have to act like this is very exciting. Oh. Right, right, right, right. Right, right, right. Right, right, right. Okay, fuck off. Hello, who goes there? Who goes there?

Oh, oh. Look, even now, we've spotted a brownie. Look at that little piece of shit. What? Come on. I want you. Catch him. I I want ears Catch him I got you

Catch him I already have some batter made Get in this batter with your brethren Stir it, stir it Stir it, stir it Next we eat the brownies We bake them first Oh yes, we bake them first

You don't even turn me into a brownie. You just put me in batter. I'm just gonna smash you up a little bit. F*** off! Very heavy seat. What are you looking for? Hi there! Well, as you can see, I'm running out of space, so I heard you did lots of intricate work. Yeah, very fine detail. I could tattoo a grain of rice.

And I did. I tattooed it white. It's all tattooed as joke. It's not a good one. Yeah. I'm wondering if you could draw some tiny little worms on my tail. Okay. About the size of grains of rice. Okay. Each one is biting the other ones, but. Okay. And is it screaming? Is it enjoying it?

What's going on? Oh, it's enjoying it. Great, and done. Wow, that was fast. How about, can I tattoo your snout? Please, what do you have in mind? Maybe at the top put hell and at the bottom put razor. R-A-Z-L-R.

I love it. I love it. And could you please put some flames? What? Sorry, done. What did you want flames? Flames coming out of my nostril. Okay, done. Wow. How about a smaller pig saying fuck you to you? Yeah, and then me crushing its brain. Yeah, so yeah, it'll be like a time lapse tattoo. Yeah, or like a comic strip. Done.

One more please. Done. Okay. Okay. Welcome to Chick Flay. Oh, you have a weapon. What do you want? Hey, I'm here at Robb and Fast Food Restaurant.

Yeah, take whatever you want. Okay, start on a meat camp. Do you want some of our sauce or... Uh, hyper for our Popeyes. Do you want some of our sauce or... Hyperfer Popeyes, just give me some money. Okay, good deal. Here you go. We don't want any trouble.

Okay. Well, we want some trouble. That's why we take the stances we do. But we won't get into it. Do you got anything to plug? Oh, I have a podcast. What the fuck, you? It's me and my friends.

We talk about movies. It's interesting. It's interesting. Yeah, it's good. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's good. Do you have a take? Do you have a take on it? Well, it's like the three of us talking about movies.

That's a take. Oh, like, we're always like, when we talk, we're always like so funny. And it's like, we should record this, and then we do, and it's funny. But we talk about anything and everything. Anything and everything. It's fodder for us.

Give me a topic. Less than 1,000 people survived, and you're one of them. Give me a topic. Less than a thousand people survived in your one of them. Mm-hmm. Give me a topic. I'll make it interesting. Anything. Anything. Okay, yes, I'll be a guest on my podcast.