Hello From The Magic Tavern - INTERLUDE – Hello from the Future

Episode Date: March 4, 2019

Checking in with the alternate reality versions of Arnie and the crew, transmitting from a B-movie science fiction universe. Secrets are revealed. CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChant the Space Angel: Adal RifaiDr. Ulrich Zadore: Matt YoungSarah: Sarah MaherMysterious Man: Tim SniffenTricia: Kate JamesCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiHigh Time Queen: Brooke BreitProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Garrett SchultzTheme Music: Andy PolandHello from the Future Theme Song: Nick GageMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanHello from the Future Logo: J. DouglassAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzSpecial Thanks to Andi Kristins. Royalty Free Music from Bensound.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Will you just hear me out? Already not on board. You introduce yourself to the void wearing this outfit. Hold up. Is that a sexy female void costume? Exactly. You seduce the void, break its heart, and cause it to go into hiding to work on its tell-all novel.

First of all, what sexy lady void wears a giant sundress in stiletto heels? Who taught you how women dress? Drawings from preschoolers? I will not be lured into a debate about gender normative fashion with the universe hanging in the balanced trisha. Now you're invested in the universe? Unreal. Oh, hey, sorry, I'm late. This is Greg. We're a little distracted freaking out about the possible destruction of the universe because of the void, so I forgot to start monitoring this week's podcast. Sorry, let's see how much of it we missed. Where's this, and we go.

Oh, the famous of fourth anniversary episode. I've been here for four years. That's crazy, four years, wow. And you know, the fourth anniversary on Foon, that's the potion anniversary. Wow and in it, you know the fourth anniversary on Fune That's the potion anniversary. What does that mean? What kind of potion? I mean That I get a drink of potion you're drinking potion. Here you go. Oh, it's a green one though Oh, I know you can't have red ones passes up. What does green do? There's stoja mana. What do I do with that? It's just a cast more spells again. What's the fourth anniversary on Earth?

Huh, and doesn't seem like they have anything good planned for the fourth anniversary. You know what, if the whole universe could end soon, I'd prefer to mix things up a bit before we all go. I'm not really supposed to do this without asking, but let's listen to it on one of the alternate reality versions of the podcast. These aren't labeled particularly well, but I think this is some kind of sci-fi dimension. That could be fun. Why not? Let's give it a listen. The The The The The

The The The The The The The The

The The The The The The The The The

The The The The The The The The The The The morning is the same as rock duper's Hello from the future! A bi-monthly transmission from the deepest reaches of the weirdest parts of the infinite universe. I'm Arnie Neekamp. Yeah, I know. That Arnie Neekamp.

If you've never received one of my transmissions before, well, brother, buckle up because you're about to have your mind blown. 20 years ago, I led a normal life as the starting quarterback for the Cincinnati Bangles. Until one day, I stumbled across a mysterious door behind a Bob Evans and Wapakineta, Ohio, that led to the top secret NASA facility hidden in the basement

of the Neil Armstrong Air and Space Museum. There I met Dr. Alder Xeador who shot us both into space in a rocket of his own invention. Lucky for you that it changed the entire course of your life. Anyway, if you're listening to this transmission, these are the reports back to God's own US of A documenting our many adventures in the wildest parts of space. Isn't that right, chant? That's correct, Arnie. Watch out, folks.

Chance not human. He's a space angel. Please, a spangel. And fair warning to any women or children listening, he never wears a shirt. That's correct. I prefer to keep my top clean of any material. Of course, I do have two wings, one normal angel wing and one metal angel wing. Ah, chant, you're such a weird space thing. How's things going? You're in charge of the magnet guard.

Yes, I am the lead guard of the magnet guard. Of course, magnet guard meaning we stick close to who we're guarding. Who are we guarding you ask? Ah, who are you guarding? The subtle Lord Dahl, of course. His body is a whispering tree. His head, a dying star. And his limbs, magnetized gold. Sometimes I don't think you're speaking English, champ. Don't forget the extreme queen, Lada. I also guard her. She's a silver outline of a cat set against the night sky. Put out a shirt weirdo. I'll cover myself with my hands better. Yeah, it's kinda good.

Feels good to me. Dr. Zayd or anything to report back to people on Earth? Arnie, great Scott. The very parabolic shape of the universe may be inverted. What's this now? The very parabolic shape of the universe. Think of the implications if it's true. Ducky, we gotta live up these transmissions for the people back on Earth.

If the parabolic shape of the universe has changed, that means it's collapsing. What? Collapsing on us right now, like some giant nothingness is destroying everything. I'm sorry I could take you more seriously if you just comb your hair. I can't comb my hair! Great Scott there's no time! Doc are you saying it's like the earth is a giant football but it's deflating? That's exactly the metaphor I was about to use to make you understand. Yes, imagine it the universe is a giant football.

And imagine that the laces of the football have just slightly come loose, and it's beginning to deflate. And when you go to spike it into the end zone, everyone in the universe dies. You can't play football with a ball like that. Gatsuz! Arnie would know he was the lead quarterback for the Cincinnati Bungals. It's the Bengals, not the Bungals.

And you said they had a huge hit? We had some Monday nights that were pretty manic. Well, can you defeat whatever this issue is with football? I mean, for 20 some years you've defeated every problem we've come across with your football prowess. Yeah, whenever we come across some evil force or weird alien race, I just tackle the hell out of them. Well, there was that one time my brain was nearly a race, but luckily I managed to hang on to my memories by remembering the sheer sexual power of Susanna Hoffs and the Bengals.

And it's been helpful that every weapon that we've come across has been shaped like a weird football oval. Yeah, so many things in space are kinda shaped like footballs. Lucky for us, huh? Why is that shape so prevalent in the universe? I don't know, I'll leave the science to you, Doc. I- I must go back to my lab! Chan, are there any like adventures for us to have?

I feel like, hmm, I feel like that. Alien race is the fight of enslawing down a little bit. The alien kind of boring. Oh,ing down a little bit. The alien? You're kind of boring. Oh, you're a little bored. I never thought. I want to punch something. I want to tackle something.

I want to go long. I know something that might excite things around here. What's that, buddy? Have I ever told you about my three painful penises? Uh, yeah. Yeah. But I don't think we've ever put in one of these transmissions, so... Go ahead, chant.

I have three penises. They're always in constant pain. Alright, so a lot of it was up top, a lot of it was up. Counts to thin, yeah. Arnie, Arnie, chant! I went back to my computer room and I put in all the punch cards, thinking and entering information about the parabolic shapes. You know he's a doctor because he called it the computer room. Yeah, there is one path that's clearly open to us all.

The shapes all the parabolas are leading back to the bunker. My God, think of the implications of it. Your God, oh my God. Well, I don't know what all of us. You don't take us all along, guys. You don't take us all along, guys. Let's all agree there's just one god. You might have your weird godchant.

My god is not weird. He's a whispering tree with the head of a dying star, magnetized golden limbs. Who has a greener to talk about it? Fine. I'll be in the computer room. But Doc, you were saying something about parabolas? Yes. The entire nature of the universe, I should have seen it before. It's so obvious now! Everything is parabolic, and everything is feeding back in on itself, and soon we must go to the coalescence.

What? We must go to the coalescence of all of these points. Sorry, did I hear we're gonna teach Koehed lessons? No, chant it. Koeh lessons. Oh. I mean, I don't know what that means, but it's not Koehed lessons, is it Doc? My God, I'll have to go back to the computer room to find out.

Did I ever tell you why I have one regular angel wing and one metal wing? Yeah, but I don't think we've done it on the transmission, so why don't you go ahead? I mean, we gotta remember not to talk about the interesting stuff when we're not on mic. Well, I was created to protect the subtle Lord doll by the extreme queen Lada. When she made me, I had normal angel wings. Then she thought I might be more extreme with one angel wing ripped out and replaced with a metal wing. So it's just like a cool upgrade. Well, you're not kind of fun? Yeah, I don't ever tell you about the time that one of my knees blew out.

I wanted to put a metal plate in my knee and I said, nope, I'm just gonna walk through it. Yes, but not on the transmission. Yeah, I know. I gotta start saving these sweet stories for the transmission. Can I ask you something I've never asked before? Sure, what's that chant? What was your completion rating? Well, is this now?

I mean, well, that's personal. My God, I've just come back from the chemistry room and I've blasted more flavor onto a ship than any other Scientist in the history of the universe. All right, Doc. Hey, look, you know, I had never noticed a blinking light from our Voice mail messages. We haven't checked those in... Oh, it's been some time. Weeks and weeks, months? Maybe a year's. We think of how many messages there might be. My God. It's too daunting to check now.

All right, you know what? I'm a man of action. I'm just going to punch this button and play our messages. Hula! Hey, took the Heisman pose. Hi, this is Emperor Craig from the bunker. I just want to let you know that I found some relevant information. So if you, I don't know if this is the best number to get you guys out, but it just sort

of like hit me back when you can. I feel like this is more of a phone call thing. I don't want to leave it as a message. I'm, you know, in case it gets cut off. Gad, Zooks! Craig left off some message right as I realized that all the parabolic shapes in the universe are pointing us back to the bunker where he works. Doc, I don't know science, but sometimes I just think you throw the word parabolic or parabola into things. I don't know what either of those mean, but I just, I'm hearing them a lot.

Well, yes, they're relevant today. I also talked about these chips, which no one even wanted to try. I'll try one. Last week, he said they were parabotastic. To hear, just eat the damn chips. What's the flavor? Nacho cheese. But the most intense Nacho cheese science has ever created. Arnie, do you mind if I remove my hands from covering my top to

try out one of these delicious chips? Yeah, go add a chant. Hmm, can't wait to start your lunch. I can't stop looking at his nibbles. They are parabotalicious. I mean these delicious chips. Yeah, go at it chant. Hmm can't wait to start your lunch You can't stop looking at his nibbles. They are pair of delicious. I mean the chips their chips their football shaped digging in boys Why is everything shaped like a football? I mean, it's good for me Hey, this is Craig again. Just calling again to see if you guys are gonna get back to me A couple of days now. I gotta get a stress. It's really important. So just get back to me, been a couple of days now. Again, I got a stress that's really important, so just get back to me at you as soon as you can.

This is an Emperor Crack. Thanks. Did you get your doctorate in delicious? These chips are great. Yes, I studied for six years at MIT and focused mainly on mathematics and flavor. Look, doc, chant. Clearly, something's going on at Spacebunk space bunkers data I think we need to use your dimension ripping uh transporter machine the mobab and that's a real name right?

Yes into the dimension ripping machine mobab. This is bring them over here we haven't done a performance reveal in a long time. Hold on prepare yourself for the most intense transportation of biological matter the universes have a scene. The jiggles run out of breath in the middle of that sentence. I think he ran out of syllables. Did you try some of these chips? I did, they're good. Activating now! Well, someone doesn't like picking up the phone.

Oh, hey, sorry about that. We've been really busy here. Hey everybody Welcome to the high council chamber. Oh, wow. This is how I always imagine it would be But I didn't know that this place existed, but I kind of guessed it would be like this. Oh my god There's more people and and still no women. Oh Yeah, there's a spangle here. Oh I didn't mean to categorize you and you are beautiful just the way you are and it's lovely to meet you and I that was very rude to start off that way. Hi I'm Trisha. Chad did you not get any of the shirts I had transported over here once every

holiday cycle? No I got them I just chose not to wear them. They mostly said things like hey, where are me? Where are me? I just felt like I didn't need that in my life. Hey guys, do these three seem like familiar to you at all? Hmm, in what way? Now you're right never mind. So Admiral Mysterious Seems like things have gotten a little sloppy over at space bunkers data. Yes We've had a few changes in personnel, but I think things are generally under control over in SpaceBunker's Zeta. There was a coup, they couped me. We did coup him.

It was super boring, so then we took him back out and now Trisha and I are in charge again. Things are fine. Look Admiral Zurious, when we defeated the bad guys of the universe, we gave you a second chance and let you be in charge of Spacebunker Zeta. Yes, and I'm continually grateful that you took out my leaders and have taken over the bunker high command. Oh, hey, I feel so rude. Mysterious, obviously, I've met you before, but I should introduce myself to you, uh, robot man, and you clone girl. I'm, uh, I'm Arne Neacamp. Yeah, I know. That Arne Neacamp. That's where I know him. That is clearly Ernie Neekamp. Yeah, I know. That Ernie Neekamp. That's where I know him. That is clearly Ernie Neekamp.

The guys from the transmission every week? Anyone? Ernie, quick, tell them you're QB rating. My QB rating? A hundred percent. Wow, that's a good one. That seems to make perfect sense. I'd give you a big thumbs up. So, just to walk through that for a second, there were times not even during a game

where you just threw a football in a random direction and that was also a touchdown. Yep. All right, that checks out. Are you arguing against an Earth quarterback about football, friend? No, it's true. He's super dreamy and I'm super glad he's in charge of me.

Arnie, I sent sarcasm in this one. Let me take his life. Whoa, chant, hold on. We gave him a second chance, but let's not kill him right now. My laser sword begs for blood. And did you ever get the single metal wings that I've been sending over every hot-eye cycle? Any of those? Yes, I did, but I told you I don't want to replace my normal wing with another metal wing. It's kind of a fun, you know Difference a disparity between my you know fuck you the construction of this Craig is impeccable

I haven't seen such a work of metallurgy and ages How are you powered? What is your power source? I mean, I just eat like Three times a day. It's sometimes like snack, I'll do like an almond, sometime in the afternoon. Yeah. Please give him some of your extreme nacho chips. Have these flavor-blasted chips. Ooh. Doc, careful. Don't you realize who this robot is? Does everyone in season-me know I'm a robot right away?

Is it been- Oh, me or robot? I mean, there's- There's sparks coming off of parts of you. But I feel like, I'm the last one to know these things. Craig, it's oftentimes hard for us to see what we are ourselves. We need other people to reflect back how we sort of fit into a group or society. And we just got tired of pointing out your robot

and us over and over again, because that seemed redundant. But these people are seeing you for the first time, and yeah, that might be something that they noticed, but it's up to you to prove that you are beyond that. I'm probably not. I do plug myself into the wall a lot. Oh, and clone lady, when we transported you guys over, we just locked on to all organic matter

in space bunkers, Ada. It's what it looks like we brought over a big pile of dead use. Oh, yeah, that's me. So... Yeah, those are really clogging up the computer room. Reveal. There's lots of clones that are me. I am Trisha, but I am not the first Trisha,

and probably not the last Trisha, although I would like to think that I am. So there are an infinite pile of replicas of myself that have been in the bunker in a secluded room. I stumbled upon them, I freaked out, but then I just kind of became okay with the fact that, yes, I am one of many. So yeah, if you just typed in Trisha and the computer, they probably all came with us. On the plus side, they're out of the cargo bay now. Clone Trishwoman, I must ask, when you die die or one of you dies. Do you feel it?

No, if I do I don't remember it and I'm very thankful for that because I've often laid a wake at night Trying to remember if I could remember the ways that I've died and I thought this is really fruitless So if I did know it at one point I don don't know it now, and I think I'm okay with that. And I'm really hoping it doesn't come rushing back. Like, this is why I don't do therapy. Of course. You know, Space Angels have a saying that clones and cowards die a thousand deaths. And that's just you're saying as a Space Angel?

Well, to my knowledge, it's our saying. Have you heard similar? No, I just wanted to verify so that if I ever quoted it, I don't know why I would. Yeah, you don't want to misquote it at a party and get it wrong. That would be really embarrassing. I mean, first of all, I would just die to go to a party, and I would be okay remembering that death in order to go to said party. Here, have a chip. Oh my god, these are like a ton of flavors in one welcome to the party look Admiral mysterious I appreciate you got this whole clone side hustle thing

I was gonna say the flavor party after that. Oh, yes, welcome to the flavor party But look I just don't want to make sure that you're not losing sight and then I was gonna say it's a blast All right, did well it is a blast Then I'm glad you got that in there. But let's not lose sight of the main mission. When anyone is sitting on any other tag lines associated with the chips, should we just get them all out now? Should we go around the room and just see if anybody's got one?

I was gonna interrupt with, I'm enjoying this party, but the biggest party is in my mouth. Mm-hmm. That's good. I had a question about the chips. Should I wait, is that for now too? Or should I wait right now? I think right now we're just doing taglines.

Got it. You'll want to par-a-lick, par-a-p-you'll want to par-a-ball-lick them clean. Okay, anybody else? Well, I mean, mine's meant to sort of a closer. So if we're done, I guess I would jump in with when the chips are down your mood is up. That was good. That was a good one. Very good. I guess that's a little presumptuous to declare your own closer, but I'll let it stand. This is what we do over in Zeta up in 147. Up and down, up and down, of course.

Quarks, neutrinos. I saw a massive neutrinos and I saw them nearing infinity and I used my parabolic dish to pull them in to the barricade. Barricade? I was like, oh, he's got a new one, neutrinos. It's a pull them into the station. Back to parabolic. For the S, these neutrinos were reaching critical mass. I realized there was biological matter contained within the matter stream.

Arnie, have you ever told you that I have a pair of bollocks? Hmm, three penises and four testicles. Look guys, let's not lose sight of the main mission. I know I've been flying around space fighting bad guys for a long time, but when we took over the high command, the main mission was this. There are a lot of Arnie's out there, and most of them are in another dimension, and most of them have a podcast. And hey, I'm sympathetic to that. If you can't be sympathetic to a person that's basically you from another dimension, who

can you be sympathetic towards? So obviously you got to monitor the podcast, make sure it still gets out there, fix any RSS issues, things like that. But also remember, it's not going to step on my transmissions. My transmissions are the true transmissions. My reports back are about what's going on in the universe. So are you guys making sure that everyone thinks that the other podcast is fiction? You can't say not to know you have to say not to yes. We pass that we're not doing chip things anymore The door is closed for chip things answer Arnie. Are you? Yes? Let me kill him. Let me kill him now. Is Directive number one. I've been assuring people every week that the podcast is not real just as you want it to don't worry

That's in place. I feel like it would have been helpful to get a manual on my first day that explained everything that you just said Thank you because I would have been like oh, okay I get now sort of like what my job description is It's really hard to know if you're succeeding if you don't know what success looks like. Yeah, and even as Emperor, I have to say, if we can be honest, I know it didn't show at the time, but I did not know what I was doing or why I was doing it. This is incredibly... Well, you didn't...

This is incredibly useful information. Well, hey, maybe this is a good time. Do you guys have any questions? You want to ask? Here you are. I have a question in the form of a tagline Cash in your chips in your mouth. That is not a question. Oh, I thought of another one. Can I say it? Yep. Yep Digest in your stomach not in your hand. Oh

Now that's a tagline and a lesson look robot boy clone lady. This is your. Well, I do have a question. So why was I built as a robot who thinks he's a man from Chicago who works at a vending machine company only to later reveal that I was actually built to be the best friend of a guy who I guess is an admiral just learning that as well. And then later reveal that I was actually the emperor of the space bunker for science. Okay, yep. Do you not know what robots are? I mean, yeah, I've seen Star Trek.

Alright, listen to this, bud. This is a little interesting detail that a lot of people don't understand. In all of the infinite universe, no one has been able to figure out how to make artificial intelligence work. It just doesn't work. Like, nowhere. Like almost everything exists somewhere in the infinite universe, but artificial intelligence does not.

So on human. Well, so this is what some of the science people figured out. Scientists? Is that what it's called? I think that's what you call science people. There is no science. I'll be in the computer room. There is no such thing as artificial intelligence,

but there is intelligence transference. Yeah, so basically every robot is really just a person somewhere dreaming. So, you know, mostly it's people in comas or kept in a state of stasis, and then their brains are transported to those robots, and they think they're dreaming, but really they're robots. Yes, yes, we tap into their brain waves, and we add a parabolic signal on top of their brain waves. There it goes again.

That transfer their thoughts into the robot body, so that live person can exist while the robot exists simultaneously. Wait, so there's a like real version of me somewhere in Chicago making vending machines? No, no, no, no. I mean, it seems to work a lot better if the person is dreaming about a radically different version

of themselves. Like, you don't know who you are. Go on. You can tell him. All right, well, here. Let me open this panel See this creepy old dude swimming in goo. Oh Hail great emperor. That's you What Emperor Creeg?

Creed the cruel the evilest man in the evil universe. Oh my god Is that a K-Racy? There will be questions on the wiki that? Oh, know, I never wrote it down. I never read it. I just always heard people say it. Basically. Speaking of K-R-C, you said Star Trek. You said Star Trek. Which one is it? Star Trek. Okay, Arnie, you liked it. You said it was Star Trek. I don't know. I was always more into Star Wears. Wait a minute, this old guy? This old, you know, I mean, Salt and Pepper, he's aged well, I would say. This old guy is me?

Yeah, look, this whole palace that we're in, uh, Space Castle Krieg, this used to be the center of the most evil and period dynasty in all the universe, and it was run by you. Until Arnie came and overthrew him, when I trapped him in my rocket and brought him here to set things right? Yeah, I punched you right in the kisser, and now you're uh, kept in this goo in a twilight state on the edge of death. Speaking of Pod's full of goo, the biological signal that I saw in the Trino stream, this other pod here, it's been coalesced in the pod. I want to open the pod for us. For science. Don't you mean the thing we grabbed out of space? Yes.

Yes. Here now, I reveal it. To all of you. I'm dealing with a lot right now, but go ahead, do your thing. Here. Oh, ah. Whoa. Oh, god, it tastes like dish soap.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I help you re-accommate you to normal space time. Then I'm Arnie Neacamp. Yeah, I know. That Arnie Neacamp. Wait, what? And I'm Chan, the Spangel. Chan. He's a space angel, in case you don't have those from your world. You guys, it's me. It's Sarah. It's me.

Wait a minute, we've seen this woman on our monitors. She's been flying through the universe for the last few weeks. Oh my God, Sarah. I just want to introduce myself. I am Trisha. I am a huge fan. I have been watching you ever since you were sort of projectile into space and you've been floating around and we know all about your arm and like your journey

and I just think it's like, it's just a real definition of heroes journey and I'm babbling, I'm like, kinda star-struck, it's like really nice to me, you. I mean, it's nice to meet you too. I wish I could say that I did any of this, but I haven't. So you guys really don't know me. Ah, this happens sometimes. You must be someone from the life of one of the other Arnie's. One of the other Arnie's. There's more than one Arnie. Or are you a big bangles fan? No, God, no they're terrible.

You haven't heard of the big bangles, Theory? Oh, you are, Arnie. It's the only thing I could remember to keep my memory when Emperor Krieg tried to erase my memory, the bangles. Just another manic one. Listen, I have so many questions that I hate to interrupt. Do you have like a phone? Can I call my babysitter? Oh yeah, sure. Here, use my phone. Okay, thank you. Oh, so you do know how it works?

Considering how many times we called in the last few weeks? Uh-oh, busted. Yeah, I want that number. I'm not in charge. I just do science. Look, guys, we used to just fly around the universe, punch and bad guys having fun, and when we overtook this evil empire, it's, you know, being in charge, it's a lot of work. It's kind of like boring. There's a lot of bureaucracy. There's a lot of paper work. It's kind of like boring. There's a lot of bureaucracy. There's a lot of paperwork. There's a lot of enslaved civilizations that we have to free, but still figure out like we still need those resources. So like how are we gonna

make that work? Because you know we still got to run this whole operation. I mean that seems pretty morally suspect. Well come on hey, hey, hold on. Let me kill him. Let me kill him. Let me kill him. Look, I am not going to be talked down to by Creeg the Cruel, the most evil man in the universe. Your nickname was Creeg the Cruel. That is a nickname you gave yourself. Wow.

That is damning. Wow. I feel like I'm on like my fourth origin story, and I just really need some proof that this is real, and this is actually me and his tank. Look, my legs are so take his life his life, aren't I don't know I'm pretty close to letting you kill him here Sarah You must be weak have some chips. Oh hold on yeah Kathleen. Okay. Your babysitter's name is Kathleen That sounds like an adult name. Yeah, she just said aren't you said that babysitters are usually 14 to 20 Kathleen is Clearly a name of a 35 and up.

Yeah, she's probably an under 30. Why couldn't someone that HB named Kathleen? Well, if they were under 35, they'd go by Kathy. What? Kathy's like 50 and over. I have to run the numbers on this. Do you still have the babysitter on the line? Because I'm curious if there's like a shadowy evil force

anywhere about to consume her and her environment. God, I hope not, because I really like her. No, I hang up. Please don't take my babysitter. We were so hard to find her. Well, it's not up to me, but Craig, you may want to file the report you've been trying to tell them for weeks now. Yeah, if you guys had picked up, you would have known weeks ago that Quadrant 14, I think, is about to be destroyed by the void. It's about to be swallowed up into nothingness, and now we have no time to stop it. What, the Voids back? Yes, it's hundreds of episodes, the Voids been back.

Look, I'm focusing on these transmissions like this is the core show. I know you guys are working listening to this other podcast, and whatever storylines they've got going on there. But this is the real stuff here, okay? Sarah's arm. It's a gravity well. We must use it to stop the void. A gravity well.

Ron is all midda. Some kind of stone it looks like. Listen, I don't know. It just happened. I'm just rolling with it. Can I just say you guys, you're a lot nicer in another dimension. Let me kill her.

And you guys are kind of dicks to each other. Oh, just three dicks, huh? Or three dicks, three painful dicks. That's what I was gonna say. You guys are three painful dicks. I mean, these other three are perfectly nice. Yeah, you know Trisha Craig seeing the dynamic here makes me feel like we've got something kind of special. Yeah, I mean I never would have said that unless I was witnessing this right now but I'm kind of grateful for our work dynamic.

Makes me realize like just a good minute or two to peek into someone's life keeps them a them a lot more special than, you know, 45 to 50 minutes to really get tired of someone. Um, I hate to be rude, but this place is fucking awesome. Can someone give me a tour? Of course. Follow me. I'll show you all the rooms. Here's the computer room. Here's this chemistry room. Oh. Here's... Hey guys, we don't actually like the chips, right? Oh, no, they're terrible. It's disgusting.

But Doc needs something. He's always on the verge, just totally falling apart. It is possible to have too much flavor. Now I know. Yeah, it's really cilantro-y, which is not a chip flavor. Yeah, and I taste soap when I eat cilantro. Yeah, I have that thing. It tastes like soap.

So that's the worst for you. It's the... oh, yeah. Yeah. That in oregano. So that's the worst for you. It's oh, yeah, yeah that in a regano You also taste so when you eat a regano No, aren't you let me kill him? Let me kill him Chip in a little bit of ranch. My god. It gives it a whole different flavor The implications ranching dip the possibilities are, or the possibilities are infoture. Chat killer.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Yes, hold on. You know, thinking about that gravity-well theory that Dr. Something-something tossed out a minute ago, I could see that working against such a negative entity such as the void, but you need a tremendous amount of organic material to form some sort of a bridge, you know, repair the time continuum. So, that's out. I'm sorry, I want to help you guys, but is this some weird sex thing? Wait a second, are we spit, ball, and defeat, and a bad guy, is that what's going on?

Yeah, I feel like if we were going to brainstorm about the chips, we should probably brainstorm about like the impending doom that's consuming possibly all of us. Yeah and if we were gonna brainstorm about the chips I'd say that train left the station a long time ago. The flavor station. If you guys are gonna brainstorm just really quickly how can you prove to me that you guys aren't the bad guys? Yeah actually I was kind of wondering that. We're not the bad guys we punched and defeated and tackled the bad guys and then we took over Their castle and we run their business, but we we do it for good But also focusing on a vanity project for me that is for the good of all of earth in the universe in my world

That's called toxic masculinity. What I don't know what world you're from lady, but this is not that I think you guys are the bad guys I think the void is the bad guy, right? Like an absence of anything. Like it's just like being trapped, like with your own thoughts. Like who wants that? Oh, I usually listen to podcasts when I'm like, yeah. Yeah, right? Well imagine like a long walk where you're not listening

to anything, like that's the void. It's gotta be evil. That's my hell. Right, Craig? Yeah, you getg. Yeah, yeah Ah, and of course makes a good point as this sort of a Aristotle's emperor in place of Creeg Of course, he's not evil. He's just in charge here. Let me show

Sarah and Trisha Where the ladies room is? Can you excuse us for a moment? Sure, yeah, take a piss. I don't really have to go. Please, please, just come with me. Come with me. Doc, you've been weird. I kind of, I kind of rally against that whole thing of like, ladies have to go to the bathroom and payers, like,

not really know. But I just want to show you where it is. Okay, alright, it feels like something. Yeah. Okay, cool. Please, alright, feels like something. Yeah, no. Okay, cool. Please. Please, you're right, Sarah.

You're right. Harry has become evil and corrupt in his times since he took over. You and Trisha are the only ones that can save us. The mysterious man, he was right. Trisha, we must beg your permission to use your corpses of your bodies to create a bridge to the gravity well so we can stop the void. The two of you must save the universe. Oh my God, I'm so glad I came to the bathroom.

I get it now. I would be on. I'm sorry, I didn't come up with a better excuse. There was only excuse. I was trying to spit all an excuse. It's okay. I knew if I said parabola, everyone's gonna jump on my case again. I was just like getting my own way about like the rules about,

but I would be honored, honored if there was some reason, like any reason to have just piles and piles of my lifeless bodies lying around like, if we could justify that in any way I would just be I would be thrilled. Arnie Arnie I must ask you. Yeah. Earlier that pod woman showed our doctor the flavor of ranch.

Now you told me that ranch is either a one-story home or a place with horses. What's going on? I don't know. We could take our minds off this conundrum with a quick round of put on a shirt. Nice try. This angel don't do shirts. Oh, hey, so I just had one more. I actually several more, but just like one brief question. So like why, if this is all true, why not just kill the evil version of me? Why did you keep him alive and make him a robot? Yeah, then we'd be like, bad guys, right?

We'll just leave him in a twilight state for all of eternity. Look, there's this keypad where if you put in the code, he comes out of there and he could come back and do it every once, but don't worry. We took that code, we crumpled it up, we threw it in a black hole, and he'll never get out of there. He's just trapped in a purgatory forever, brain dreaming in a robot, thinking he's a vendor, doing stuff. That's what the good guys do. Here I hastily assembled this positronic cellarator. You must take it to the corpses. Me? Yes, you and Trisha. You must save the universe. I'll cover for you by telling everyone else

you had to take a really long shit. Oh, thank you so much. Listen Trisha, I'm so sorry that you had to see your body's dead, that's for God. I'm so used to it right now. And it's like, once I finally accepted my body for what it was, I was able just to be happier overall. And I was like, this is the bodies I've been given and is it ideal?

No, is it ever ideal? No, and I think if you ask any woman you're like yeah I carry the weight of you know having a thousand dead corpses follow me around. In my case it was true but I've worked through it. Yeah. I've got distracted by my own story. I don't exactly know. We're shoving the bodies into the, what did he call it? I think it's a gravity well. No, I think the gravity well is your arm. Oh shit. Is there water? It says something that wasn't parabolic.

So then I was like, oh, that's interesting. He used to word that wasn't. So, yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, I mean, we can probably just figure it out. Yeah, what could possibly go right? Hey Doc, what happened to the ladies? Oh, they told me they want to take a very long,

luxurious shit. Ha, ha, ha. Well, ladies and bathrooms, am I right? Yeah, you're right. When you're right, you're right, and you're right. Classic Trisha. It's such a nice. Okay, so there's this, it's a game.

It's called the Organ Trail. You forward the river. And basically, you just kind of get on top of like a makeshift. Oh God, what would you guys call it? I mean, it's, I don't even know what I call it actually. Anyway, you get on top and you just go across the river. Maybe we can make that with your body. A covered wagon?

No. A raft? A raft? A raft. You got it, a raft. Let's make a raft with your dead bodies and for it. Got it. OK.

How's it going so far? Whoa. I built a communicate into the particle accelerator that I hastily assembled for you. You? I mean, if this is hastily assembled, I would love to see what you can do with a little bit of time. So would I? Have you used the particle accelerator to turn the organic matter into a bridge that accesses the gravity well yet? That's it! A particle accelerator. I couldn't remember what you said. And then I was like, wait, what are we supposed to do? I know there's multiple parts to this.

But I'm more concerned with what everybody else thinks we're doing. Well, did you, what did you tell them? I told them you were taking a long, like, sure, shit. It's sort of a hastily, simple, particle accelerator slash communicator slash labor blaster. Okay, so you haven't played or got in trail, that's what you're saying. Oh, yes, of course I have. I often got disantily. That's why I got so interested in blasting flavor on the chips to help people survive and eat and not die. Likely. That makes sense. Well, blast those trishes with nacho flavor and create a bridge to the gravity well and destroy the void.

With my hand? Alright, here goes. I feel like you should say something. BOOM! Oh, you listen to the door, you can hear them taking me. I hear something. BOOM! BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM! Oh my god, it's snowing at 1,000 quarts. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! My hands, I don't have any buttholes, so I wouldn't know. None?

Nope, just three painful penises Three decks nobody holds four balls of iron in the cracker Four testicles Trish look at that! Do you see it? They're forging together to make one super Trish This is both my dream and my nightmare Oh, I'm so sorry. I feel like you might really be coming up against something emotionally

This might be really great for you. No, it's okay. I just tucked things way down inside. I figure I'll work through it at some point, but not right now. Hey, do you want to go to the bathroom and talk? Wait, aren't we in the other- oh, the real bathroom? Yeah. Is this just a fake bathroom? Like any other place? Hold on, we're getting reading. Someone's in the fake bathroom. I don't know what that means. I'll go check on it. And this is Dr. Zaydo, a check-in-in. Oh! Do you use the virtual counselor I built into the particle accelerator to help you with any emotional issues you might be having?

I haven't yet, but I will. I'll start right now. Is that the yellow knob? Yes, use the yellow knob. I programmed it with the voice of your friend, that mysterious admiral that we have in charge of the bunker. Oh, okay. See, this is real tricky. He's not really my friend. He's sort of my friend by default, because we're trapped on this bunker for what seems like eternity together, so he's sort of become a friend. It's kind of like... Tucker, take your out. ...and reality television when people are like, oh, we're best friends, because we've been together on this episode, and we have to, you know what I mean?

You know that they don't talk when those cameras turn on. Oh my god, we did it! We did the counselor thing, we did the, um, God, what was the other- Now that the counselor has been activated, perhaps you'd like to let him talk. You can do this. I believe in you. You can make this happen both of you. Oh my God. When he's given a script, he's actually really supportive. Yeah, he looks like a dad. Is that what your dad looks like? I appear in the image that is most pleasing and supportive to you.

So while I have the voice of your best friend back from the bunker, your mentor, your teacher, your brother. All right. Kindred spirit. I also appear as your father to tell you, you can save the universe. You can defeat the void. Is that so hard to say just like on a Tuesday? Like, do we have to be in this heightened state

of fucking reality for me to get this sort of feedback? Maybe take a good look at the fact that you're hearing exactly what you want and still you're fighting against it. Well, hey, Trish, hold my hand. Now kiss. Oh fuck you. Turn that fucking thing on. How salute deactivated.

God, I knew this was the fucking realm of toxic masculinity. Man, fuck these dicks. Yeah, we surround the bathroom together for most of this whole episode. I know, right? Oh! Hey guys, look out the window. There's a giant lady out there. That's incredible. That's not just a giant lady. All the dead trishes have melded together to become one giant dead trisha. That's right. We've been in the other room not taking a luxurious shit. The fake bathroom?

Yes. Please tell me you didn't take a shit in that toilet doesn't lead any way. No, we didn't. This is my whole point. We were not doing that. What we were doing was forging together all of my corpses into one super corpse

that will be the genetic DNA that can float toward the, what are we doing? Wait. Are you telling me you've created one giant organic mass that then you're going to charge with the gravity well that is Saras of City and Arm, so it can go and seal the void? Is that what you're saying?

That's it. That's it. I just have trouble remembering all of those. Yeah, no, I remember. I was just enjoying talking to you guys. All right, here goes. I'm going to try and make my arm talk to this woman. I see why you guys thought we were taking shit. I get it now. What constitutes a luxurious shit? That's why I built you a fake bathroom so you could pretend.

Reading material. I feel like if you get any more of those chips you're gonna find out. I don't have a bottle. Holy shit, she's walking! Look, it's working! Yes, the giant dead Trisha is walking through space. Pfft! Go Super Corpse, go! It's majestic.

May she be imbued with more self confidence than I ever am. Oh Trisha, don't be me to my friend. That's you. Oh, I see what you did there. You were talking about. That's so nice, Sarah. Well, you're nice. You should treat yourself better.

I feel like we don't have time for that part. Fuck. I just thought of one. It's chip to B square. Hey, non-colonel lady, your weird arm is vibrating. I have a name and it's Sarah. All right, Sarah. Fuck you.

All right, here we go. I'm turning this on, Trish. Hey, if this pulverizes me, can you call my babysitter? Oh my God, totally. Ritalaged Kathleen, right? Yeah. Well, she's not middle age. She's like mid-thirties.

That's what I said, 35 and up. My God. Activate the particle accelerator. It's happening now! Here it goes! BOOM! No, it can't make a matter for the trisha. It's enveloping the void. It's working. It's working! It's my God, it's working! These chips on mediocre! I'm saying it now.

What? Somebody had to say it. There's nothing around here shaped like a football. What the fuck am I supposed to do? You really fumbled this one already. So much for your completion rating. Give the particle accelerator to Arnie quickly. What? No, he's bad. No, just... This is my podcast, guys. So, uh, you know, let me just take... Look, you got it so far, but just let me get it over to the end zone. Here, take the particle accelerator Turn two parts of it here now. It's shaped like a football throw it into the void to finish the process already I'm open. I'm open that way who wait stop. You know who can do this? My friend Trisha Trisha someone has to throw that football hurry do it. Yeah

Trisha you do it. That's my idea. Don't doubt yourself, Trisha. That would cripple you in this critical moment. Wait a minute. That's you. You really just said that to me? You're saying it to me right now, live? I-I-I'm just pointing out what could happen if you doubt yourself as you so often do. I'm on your side. I'm your friend, Trisha. You've always been on my side. You've always been on my side! You've always been on my side! You've always been on!

Wow, she throws like a clone. Which is a good thing in this case. Oh my god. It hit the exact center. What a tight spiral. The neutrinos. They're speeding up towards infinity. I can see inside the void.

There's nothing in everything all at once. What a parabola. Great, Scott. There's nothing in everything all at once. What a parabola! It's great, Scott. It's gone. Trisha, great work! You did it! Yes, just this once you did something correctly. Trisha, everything was kind of going fast there, but I also believed in you. Oh my god, thanks you guys. I just... I mean, who knew, like, this day started out like any other day, and then all of a sudden we're here,

and we're like, this is the high command that we've been trying to reach. And then to learn all these things about all of you that I just never really quite knew, and then to realize that there was a purpose all along with like sort of the shadow of a life I've been leading. And it's just been like a really satisfying day. I just really can't wait to journal about this

Quick someone engraved that on a plaque. I agree. I really feel like everything organically led to this and it was not added later at all No, in Admiral M. I'm gonna put this on everybody shirts. Oh It's beautiful. It's more beautiful than I could have possibly imagined little tight You're not gonna wear the one that says shirt happens? Nope, everybody shirts. Ha ha! We did it! We saved the universe! Chips for everyone! Oh, yum!

Fuck. I am good! I do have one follow-up question. Is the Roomba that's been going around on the floor? Is that like a person? There was a question. Is there Roomba that's been going around on the floor? Is that like a person? There was a person. Who was that? That's a story for another day. Well Admiral M. Robot Boy,

clone lady, not clone lady. It's Tricia. I feel like it has all my name. Thanks for helping me to feed the void. You didn't do shit. Well, didn't I? No. Didn't I? I was sort of the invisible hand behind everything, really. Kind of moving the pieces into place, making sure that the universe got saved once again.

How do you guys deal with it? By Arniny Camp, yeah, I know. That's makes me wonder if he defeated me, either. So I did. I was, I mean, look, I didn't physically punch Creek the cruel but I was like in the room I was Involved in the whole thing. Does your shirt say Arnie on it? Yes, it's Arnie We got to get these at our merch store now that the void is defeated We got to do the like a not fun part at the end of the show where we decide how everybody's gonna be punished Let's see here. Hmm. Wait, what? Well, you know, you guys had a coup on

space bunkers, Zeta, you kind of, uh, sounds like you took a shit in the fake bathroom. You fucking bet I did. Arnie, let me kill him. Well, let's see here. Should chant fight someone to the death? Yes, let me. Who wants a sword? Who wants a sword to fight chant? Choose your weapon. Who will step forward and fight the Space Angel chant? I mean, I do so. I vote for the Roomba. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Step forward Roomba, our champion.

Why do you keep turning around? It's really hugging the walls, isn't it? Oh, he's good. Oh, I'm disarmed. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh That's a space prison? Why not put them back at their post? I think they've learned their lesson. That feels like a logical choice. I mean, we just came here and pretty much saved everything

and now we're being punished. Yes, send us back to the bunker. We know all the passwords to stuff. Right, and I have to work tomorrow, so it'll be nice to get back home. Listen, Arnie. Yeah. If you defeated me once, you're not going to defeat me again. All right, I'm not going to space prison.

Give me that chance sword, and I'm not going to space prison. Give me that chance sword and I'm gonna fight you to death. What? I was trying to do like a dream. I was saying give me the sword and I would fight you to. That's pretty good. That's pretty good cowboy. I'm looking for notes. All right, how about this? Not Clone Lady. We'll send you back to some Earth. It's Sarah. Clone Lady, we're gonna give you your own bunker to watch over. You know send you back to some Earth. It's... Sarah. Clone Lady? Uh... We're gonna give you your own bunker to watch over. You know, you seem to have done a good job, so you're gonna be in charge of one.

Which-which one? Please say omega, please say omega, please say omega. No! That's not fair, omega has the good view of the fire waterfalls. I am just learning about these detonations. Uh-huh! I use the shirt to clog the innards of the machine and burst forward. I'm bare-chested again.

Oh, no one. It's less happy to hear that than me. This chance got a community chest. I take it back, send me to Space Prison. Here, everyone, given onto this transport, it shall take you to Space Prison. And less. And less are able to take off the controls. Oh! I'm on board.

Quickly, Cookeye, onto the transport. Well, goodbye. I will see you in space prison. Very good. Okay, wink, wink. I agree to this. For a moment, we work together to defeat the void. So...

One last toast... To friendship. Friendship. Oh, that is the closer. For a moment, we work together to defeat the void, so one last toast to friend-chip. Friend-chip? Oh, that is the closer. And we'll use the matter transported to take Sarah back to Earth. Thank you. It will hurt. Well, can I at least take like a bag of chips or something?

I'm really hungry after I take a new fake bathroom. Oh, here, these are cilantro and so. Oh, fuck. Enjoy them. That's redundant. Give her all of that and a. Oh fuck. Enjoy them. That's redundant. Give her all of that and a bag of chips. Bye Sarah. Bye.

Arene are we the baddies? We're the heroes. People of Earth. That's been another amazing adventure. Hello from the future, starring Arnee Camp and others. My God. We are evil. How did I fit in that room, Doug?

Arne travels by rush. Arne is a space adventure. Arne is the same as Rock duper's. All in! Need to save the rock to worse! Greetings! Hello! Greetings. Hello. This is the high-time queen from SpaceBunker High Command Temp Services. I'm filling in at SpaceBunker Zeta. None of that was real.

Okay, is this how this works? None of that was real. Dr. Aldrich Zeta was played by Matt Young. Chant, the Space Angel, was played by Adel Ruffai. Admiral Mysterious was played by Tim Sniffin. Go to Timsniffin.com to check out his devastatingly funny writing and to find out where he might be performing live. I get this feeling I should really lay into this guy in particular,

but sometimes saying nothing at all is the worst. Tricia the Clone was played by Kate James. If you need more Kate James in your life, check out Slate's Trumpcast where she regularly does funny segments and sketches. What is that? Is that the same thing? Is that like a skit? We talking about skits. Craig the Robot was played by Ryan DeGeorgie. Ryan directs fun video game party games

for Jackbox games. It's a lot of games all at once. Like Fibbage 3, TKO when you don't know Jack full stream. Track down the Jackbox party packs 3, 4 or 5 to try them out. Okay, I guess I'll do that then. Wow. Sarah the Earth Human, with an obsidian arm, was played by special guests Sarah Mahir. Am I supposed to come up with fake names for everybody? Is this what I'm supposed to do because I feel like that's not what I signed up for? Ugh. Even the former Spacebunker people, no one left me any kind of instructions. I'm like flying without a net here. I've got netless flying.

Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Ryan DeGeorgian, Evan Jacobo, this episode edited by Garrett Schultz. The Hello from the Future theme song was written and performed by Nick Gage. Nick is a composer, songwriter, currently music directing at the main stage review at the second city. Is that like more skits? That's more skits, right? For more Nick Gage content and high jinks, find him on Instagram at mellowchawawa. The special Hello from the Future logo was created by Jay Douglas. Check him out on Instagram at Ish underscore prints. Oh, I guess I'll have to do that as well. If you didn't see the

logo somehow, you can check it out at hellofromthemagictavern.com along with links to merch and any upcoming live shows. Set it as your homepage. Do it! Do it! Set it and forget it! Special thanks to Andy Christens, who helped out as the engineer for the New York side of the recording.

Okay, I think that's it for this week. I mean, how hard could this be? I could do this. I mean, it's been a while. I'm getting back on the recording. Okay, I think that's it for this week. I mean how hard could this be? I could do this. I mean, it's been a while. I'm getting back on the horse. This is his temp, but it could be temp to pur- is this perm? I'm open to perm trying to get back on the horse here. The horse ran off without me. It's been a few years, okay? I may look older, but I've got a young heart. I'm- I'm time. I'm time itself. High-time queen. I'm time. I'm time itself. High time queen. Checking in.

Out.