Hello From The Magic Tavern - INTERLUDE - Mirror World

Episode Date: September 26, 2016

Checking in with the evil alternate Foon, where Arnie is evil, Chunt is evil and Usidore is evil.CreditsCarnival Wilson: Arnie NiekampWendigo Wilson: Adal RifaiUsidore the Black: Matt YoungTannakin the Terrible: Sarah FineoutEvil Bungaree Chubbins: Tom GotliebMysterious Man: Tim SniffenTricia: Kate JamesCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And then Piedstrag and they had to remake that as well. Uh, hey, aren't you gonna introduce the podcast? Oh, Craig, I'm just not feeling it. I've spent so much time trying to spin the fact that there are multiple dimensions. And the worst part is having to listen to this hello from the acceptor, etc. every week. I just need a break. Could we listen to something else? Hmm, I suppose we could. What about one of the other dimensions? Didn't that Spin Tax guy mention a couple times that there's a

mirror dimension to Foon where everyone's evil? Sounds interesting. Yes, and I think they do a podcast on that dimension as well. Let's just switch the intercepting frequency. We should probably still do the sponsor stuff though, right? Oh yes, of course. The following podcast is not real, and in no way proves that there are evil mirror dimensions. But it is sponsored by Cards Against Humanity.

If you want to send a package to Arnie, Usador, or Chunt, you can send it to Cards Against Humanity 1917 North-Elsden, Chicago, Illinois, 60642. Care of, Arnie Neacamp, Vermillion Minotaur, Town of Hogspace, Land of Foone. And the folks at Cards Against Humanity will shove it through the portal. No promises about which dimension it winds up in. And now I enjoy the show.

I'm so excited to hear something different! Hello from the Evil Tavern! A weekly podcast from the horrible land of fune. I'm your host, the trickster god, Carnival Wilson. If you've never listened to this podcast before, FIY you are my enemy. But here's what you need to know. About a year and a half ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Chick-fil-A in Chicago. Into the magical, fantastical land of fune, luckily I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from

that Chick-fil-A through the portal that I used to upload a podcast I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the town of Hogsface, in the land of fune, which has been conquered by the Dark Lord, and I am one of his main emissaries. Luckily, I'm joined by my co-host, which includes the Sorcerer, Yusidor. I am Yusidor. Emissary of the Dark Lord of Phoon. Fallen Wizard of the Realms of Ephesius. Sorcerer bound of the Guy Luntianth clan.

Scourge of the Battle of Thirteen Armies. Immulator of the Wall of Fire. Disemballer of the Great Dragon. Krasavesky. Defeacer of the Great Hall of Turokis, the Fairforknomias Fairfie Yusolo, the Orcsnomias Tumsasnesseja, and Sunday I will have names capable of tearing this world asunder. I know when you said or.

I am very well, for evil does reign everywhere. I am very well for evil does rain everywhere. I Even though I known as you said all the black for my blindness. I see all I'm over here. I'm over here. You're just looking in the wrong place. There's no one sitting over there That's all right, and we're also joined as always by my co-host and life partner Wendigo Wilson. Wendigo fuck yourself. Hey, love how you doing. Good how you doing sweetheart. Not too bad. So for new listeners, Wendigo is a shapeshifter. Used to be various different animals, but then you had sex with the Wendigo. And for people who don't know what a Wendigo is, what is a Wendigo?

Well, I am a human-esque creature with an unsatiable craving for human flesh. Sure. So I eat human flesh non-stop. My lips are bloodied and tattered. Sure. My eyes are sunken deep in my skull. My skin is pulled tot over my bones.

I'm very gaunt. Yeah. And that's my man. And I mean, love. Yeah. Let me, some human flesh here, please. Ooh, yum, yum, yum, yum, human flesh ease. Do you mind if I partake?

No, please, I insist. I'm gonna pass. I think I'm probably the only of us that doesn't like to eat human flesh. That's very true. So I like to document my life and food to let the people of Earth know all of the evil things we've been doing in Fune, and to know that when we figure out how to get to Earth, we're

going to conquer that world as well. Yes, Bill Weir Earth. We are coming for you now. In the morning I woke and stabbed seven horses. Seven horses, yes. That's it. I stabbed seven horses. I killed 14. Guys, look, I- How'd you kill the rest of them? If the seven who were stabbed in guy. I choked them.

Choked horses. Okay, okay, that's good. I was gonna say because, you know, since we became MSS airs of the Dark Lord, and we've successfully conquered and enslaved all of Foon, I feel like we've been kind of resting on our laurels a little bit right? Well, I also killed, I killed some cats this this week. You killed some cats? Yeah, I took them up to a hand job highway and hand job highway. Yeah. Wait, what happens at hand job highway? You take somebody up to hand job highway and you make them perform a task or a job with their hands. Oh, okay.

And if they can't complete it, then I get to kill and eat them. Oh, I see. And cats just have paws, so they immediately are just... They can have to flap their asses. Yeah, they can't. And I just kill them and eat them. Okay. Two women came to me yesterday, both claiming that a child was theirs.

I said, cut the child in half. And one of the women said, no, said no no no please don't do that And I knew her to be the true mother so I ate all their faces. Oh boy. Then did you kill the child? No They walk all of food faceless now Not enough child death, but you know we've been focusing on relishing our evil and I've been a real jerk of a host We have a guest. No you've been great. So you've been great. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you. You know, bash pop I

Love your catchphrase. I love your catchphrase bash pop Everybody loves the bash pop bash pop which reminds me I you know I have very limited communication with Earth, but I have got to hope that on Earth, we've been able to get some kind of a deal to make up T-shirt, some of our evil catch phrases. People on Earth should be walking around with a bash-bop T-shirt.

They should maybe get a T-shirt that says like, oh no, child. Oh no, child, yeah. Like I wanna talk about the stuff I'm going to do when I conquer Earth, one with Yucidoror's full name with people loved to hear in fact I would love to get a shot of your full name one more time Yusidor Emissary of the Dark Lord of Foon, fun wizard of the realms of Ephesias sorcerer bound of the Gynanath clan Scurred to the battle of the 13 armies

Immunulator of the wall of fire disembow battle of the 13 armies, Immulator of the Wall of Fire, Disemballer of the Great Dragon, Curvaserie, Defacer of the Great Holes of Turokus, The Fairfook Nomi is Fairfie Yusolo, The Orcs Nomi is Tumas, Nessager, And someday I'll have namescapable of Terry, The world of Sun.

Love it. I'm craving some human flesh, And by that I mean I'm gonna kiss you Did I ever tell you about the time I Emilated the wall of fire. Yes, you've told us several times several times You see what was so clever about it was most people don't think to burn down a wall of fire But I burnt it down and also I Murdered my great foe at the same time. Spin-tax. That's right, you murdered Spin-tax.

Yes, Spin-tax, the blue, stupid wizard. Oh, how I hate the wizards. For I, myself, used to be a wizard of the realms of Ephesius. But when I attempted to steal all of their power, they did turn on me, and I did begin to murder them, and now I am a sorcerer bound to a demon clan. I'm no more in spin-tax. Well, not of this realm. I have bad news. What's- uh, what's the news? I met a spin-tax, but not spin-tax the blue, spin-tax the green. Yeah. He came here from a mere world to his multi-faceted gem. Wait, how can spin-tax the green. Yeah. He came here from a mere world to his multi-faceted gem.

Wait, how can spin-tax be green when there's can the green on this world? I do. Oh, he is the best. He is the best. I cannot get enough of can the green. Love can the green. If anything, I wish I could just hear him all day long. No, I absolutely.

Yay, the street shooter. This alternate spin-tax did appear, and he had been watching us. That's street cheater. That's right! So in your sorcerer! Hmm, they're even alternate youth versions of Yusador. Yusador's then are still wizards. That's right, so in your sorcerer. That's right. You know, I've got to say, I've been so busy in Foon like conquering and doing evil stuff that I haven't had the time to fully educate myself

on how everything works. Remind me what the difference between a wizard and a sorcerer is? Well, of course, a wizard is born into the world as I was originally, but when I turned my back on the wizards and began my war against them, they cast me out and then, magically, simply a boring human in human form, I did then bind myself to a demon clan to become a sorcerer. Wow! Yes.

So, are the opposite versions of Carnival Wilson? Are they as trim and buff and do they have the solar sword? I don't know how many versions or what they do in these mirror worlds That's why we must travel there and spread our evil into these other worlds Yeah, which reminds me I brought a bottle of evil whiskey from my distillery when Digos whiskey. Oh So here's some here's a glass for you Wilson fill up on that Here's a glass for you. Thank you. Mmm. This is good. This you can really taste the evil. Can you really? Yeah? Oh, I use a human flesh filter you there. Why do you approach a table? Oh? Hey, that's all I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm sorry once again. I'm being a real jerk

Sorry, yeah, I'm sorry. Once again, I'm being a real jerk. I, I, I guess this episode is Tannikin the Terrible, the, the most brutal and feared of all of the penglets, the, you know, tiny flying pigs of food. How you doing Tannikin? Hello, I'm doing really well. Thanks so much for asking. You're welcome.

It, as always, it's a delight to see you. You're very adorable and known to be incredibly evil. Yeah, you're horrifying. Oh, thank you. I really appreciate that. Of course. Thank you for spreading destruction where you go. Yeah, you're welcome.

It's my greatest pleasure. I love to hurt people. Yeah, it's last I heard, you were off finishing off the last of the dwarves, the war between the penglets and the dwarves, and now is it true that pretty much all of the dwarves are dead? All the dwarves are dead, at least the ones that I've come across I played so many pranks on them. Oh, sure they got so tired of them and then they died. Yeah, just exhausted by the pranks Great standing outstanding so what else are you not too tanning? What have what have you been doing since last we met you? I've been doing a lot of getting a lot of tattoos. Oh I can see yeah good

amazing. Just like getting me inked up and drinking a lot my drink of choice these days is taquila. Oh taquila taquila. It's named after it's a twilight liquor so. Oh bluish. Made in the twilight. Bluish, so taquila for the table. Oh and I went the one with the worm in the bottom. Yes. Oh nasty. I don't want to bring up a sore subject, but I know blemish is half dwarf. But, and I know you already murdered the dwarf, the dwarf half of a... Yeah.

He just crawls across the floor, delivering food and drinks. Yeah. The other half had to go. So Tannik can lock me through some of these new tats you got. What are the things you got tattooed on your body? Okay, well this is a magic wand that has hairs on the end. Yeah. And each hair represents a dwarf that I've killed.

Oh, there are a lot of hairs on the wall. There's a lot of, it's like your body is like 80% hairs coming off that wand. Yeah. There's a shark I see a tattoo of a shark with moderate boobies. Yep. Yeah, that shark represents my mother. Is it? Oh, that's a shark. I see a tattoo of a shark with moderate boobies. Yep. Yeah, that shark represents my mother. Is it? Oh, that's adorable. I'm saving up coins so that I can get a heart put around it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

What other, what non-dwarf people have you killed recently? Um, I kill a lot of small animals. Oh, sure. Because I'm jealous of them, really. Yeah're like do you I mean are you do you hate anything that could Potentially be as adorable as you are of course of course. Sure. I want to be the most adorable one in any room I walk it to oh absolutely well. You have a little bit of competition anytime a calzone skull is here. Oh Have I introduced you to calzone school? No, I don't think I've met calzone skull. He's one of my best friends one of your best friends Yeah, absolutely, you know, but I mean he's not my best friend. I know. I know. I know. I know. It's okay. Look, we learn this in counseling that You know, I don't have to be everything to you. Okay, you know, like we can we're there for each other We support each other, but I don't have to be your whole world and you don't have to feel like you have to apologize for being friends with Calzone Skull. Thank you. Dr. Ward has helped us out a lot. Yes, that's good. You've been flesh is here.

Oh great. Dig in. So Tanikin, we should take a little break, but before we do that, I hate to ask you this. Because I know, oh boy, they eat very lot. Guys, I mean, guys, if I had to tell you, the listeners need to enjoy the and fear this show, and it's really distracting when they hear you eating on mic.

I would apologize, but I'm evil. That's true. Well played. Well played. But Tanik and I know you've killed people for asking this before, but if I could ask you, would you mind flying adorable around the room a little bit for us? Oh sure, yeah, no, and I'm not upset by you asking. It's only if someone asks me and I'm in a bad mood. Sure, oh totally. Ah, here I go of tequila please. Hello, I'm Evil Bungery Chuppance, the proprietor of Chuppance Chabapot and Tools of Tormet, right here in Hogsface. Oh, I've been running things ever since I split my father's skull with her shingling hatchet, and then sent me older brother wrapped in chains to the putrid depths

of Gorgon's lagoon. Well, it's my shop now, but I hope you'll think of it as your oasis of torture. Other shops may claim to be evil, but only my shop sells turd boxes bisected with rotary saw blades. Whether it's an arse-hair scalping hook or poison sumac menci's rags, chop and jazz just what you need. And don't you go tellin' folks otherwise, I'll find ya and cut ya throat.

So, Tanikin, thank you so much. Yeah? Um, you know, use the door, I've gotta ask you. Yes. You don't talk about these demons so much. Yeah. Um, you know, You said, or I've got to ask you. Yes. You don't talk about these demons very much. That you, you've bound yourself too? Yes, of course. The...

Gaioliet clan. The Gaioliet clan? The Gaioliet clan. So like, how does that relationship between you and them work exactly? I've pledged myself to them and they've given me magical power and a churn. And since they are minions of the Dark Lord, I did gouge out my known eyes to prove to the Dark Lord that I hold no one in higher esteem than him. I see.

So how is your magic different than what it used to be like like how how is sorcery different from wizardry? Oh, it's very very different You see before I was a yellow wizard and I was a master of time and space yeah, but once I lost those powers Well first I tried to gain the powers of other wizards So I wanted to control truth and lies and nature and nurture and sense and sensibility. And as I gained these powers, the wizards turned against me and tripped them all from me. Now, my powers are basically purely on darkness and destruction. Destruction checks out praises our lord praises our lord death makes me more powerful so every day I wake up and I stab at least seven horses every day every day

I don't want to be I don't want to be one giant asshole. Can we get some more human flesh? One giant asshole that you have I have one giant asshole. Yes. Can we get some more human flesh for the table? I don't you know what I'm a little peckish. I heard I was talking to Blumish and apparently is there another human flesh and bar? There's another human flesh and bar go. Fear not. So we'll have to kill our own. I have something to tide you over in the meantime here. I've been saving this for a special occasion. So the tiny human with a top hat again? No. I wish. It's wine made from the blood of the Bellaroth family. Oh! Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

That's great. Could I have some of the Tom Blaine? Yes, yes. A bottle for each tatanya, Tom Blaine. Princess Tricchio, Raelian, Albain himself. Wow. This is good blood. I don't really drink that much blood because I'm still just like a regular human.

Well, I feel like so many, I used to not like blood because I feel like so many people would drink it and they'd be like, I really taste there's like, what is that? Like chocolate? Yeah. It was like, you know, there's a little grass in there and I'm like, you can't taste that. But now I feel like it really tastes the notes. It just takes time. Yeah, you gotta let it breathe. Oh, the notes. I thought you meant the nose. I could feel like it really tastes the nose that this blood came out of. What did Carnival Wilson strikes strikes a guy called a Wilson what did convince you to become a evil carnival You know what I think the potential for evil was always inside of me Even when I was living in evil Chicago

doing evil stuff You know getting myself involved in sort of local evil activities. Please tell us no more about this earthen culture. Look, I want to talk about it. Look, we have this knowledge. I know more words about Chicago, we cannot stand it. Look, I just, I'm frustrated because I really want to talk about earth stuff. And I feel like whenever we talk about it,

we don't want to hear about it. Sorry, that's the one thing. All right, I can think. We don't want to hear about it. I've got a lot of really funny stories from my evil improv group, from Evil Chicago, but what's their name? Bang a ring No, tell us more of your flat pizzas. Nay. That's some of the best flat pizza in the world is from evil Chicago

So shallow, but Tanniken we I feel like we're ignoring our guests. Oh, no, I'm enjoying the conversation Tanniken would you like kill somebody? Oh, right now. Yeah, right now. Can you kill one of the wet mothers over there by the bar? Oh sure, yeah. Maybe I'll bring back some of the blood for the table. Oh please. This is gonna be a red unwedding.

Alright, let me fire myself up here. Ooh, she's getting pumped. Oh, there she is. She's jacked up. There's actually a steam coming out of her ears. Oh. Oh. Oh. steam coming out of ears. Thank you, Tallican. Well, thank you. Oh, my God.

Well done. Oh, that's a good one. You can tell you love what you do. I love to kill. I love to drink blood. I love to dance. Since we're talking about where we all came from sharing stories of our past

Tanik and what made you decide to be evil. You know I used to be bullied. Oh sure. I picked on pretty hard and I always let it roll off my back but then I decided that you know I wanted to get back and start pulling cranks on people. So yeah so you are out. Yeah bullying is so terrible and I know that when you're young and bullied like it can be really difficult but just got to remind yourself that it gets evil. It gets evil. It gets evil. So I have to ask you like what's your next tattoo gonna be? I have to ask you like what's your next tattoo gonna be? Yeah, what's next? I have big big plans and unfortunately I don't have a lot of skin so it's yeah, you're very small

So I'm gonna be inked up Before in the next couple tats probably but yeah, so I have an idea of getting a a big circle With two dots for eyes and then a frown with two dots for eyes and then a frown. Oh, yeah. It's just to like have a bad day. Yeah, that's true. What do you think will happen to the pin that people now that the war with the dwarves is ended? Will you control the mountains that the dwarves previously controlled?

Oh yeah, yeah. Don't even dare to try and cross those mountains unless you want to pay a prize. I have a boon to ask of you. Of course. And I, in Inverture and I shall pay some evil price to you. But if you can find a multi-faceted gemstone, or if you even know where one is now, you must bring it to me, and we will be able to use it to travel to other worlds.

Ooh, travel to other worlds and kill people? That's right. Sounds fun. A whole fresh world, un-murdered lies before us if we can travel there. That would be great, because I've been thinking about it. It's sort of like the whole thing with the tanikens and the dwarves. It's like you've killed all the dwarves.

So like, you know, like it's gotta be kind of a weird time where you, and we've conquered all of, all of Foon and like, what's done is done. of food and like what's done is done what's done is done and it's like there's no more evil left to spread really we need new worlds to spread our evil to what I never asked you uh uh Karni what were you doing Karnival if anyone can call you Karni it's me right how about if anyone can find baby it look sweetie it's an ego if anyone can it's you. Thank you, but no one can What you never told us what you were doing at the Chick-fil-A when you fell through the portal

I was just behind the Chick-fil-A and I was just protesting protesters It was just like an aggressive anti-protest Just being like hey you stupid cows with your signs that say I just like, hey, stupid cows with your signs that say, even more chicken, they're not even spelled right. Oh, also, I wanted to, I've been telling Tannikin, cause I sorry the other day, I've been telling her how amazing you've been at math.

So can you just show us a little bit of your math? I'm so proud of my car name. I maybe just give us a square root or... Sure, 374! Oh. Yep. So proud of you. Oh!

That's uh... It was really... It actually took a lot of brain power to get to that square root. Yeah. That's... That's a big number. That's a big, big one. You said, or we haven't heard much about your love life lately.

Love? Yeah. Love is for the weak. Anyone who comes up to me and acts as if they wish to have some sort of... Yeah. Look, you know what, here's the- you sidore. This is- we've had this conversation before. But you know what, you- you live to be evil. Not be evil to live. You know what I mean? Like, you got- did I just say that? Did I say that right?

I don't, I don't know. Like, look, I do a lot of evil. I focus on it. I focus on spreading the Dark Lord's word all the time. But you know what? Also, my love for Wendigo is what keeps me going, you know? And it's nice. It's nice to be able to share that evil with someone else. I suppose I just haven't met the right person yet. You know Ken Livia is a very handsome, he is incredible handsome. Ken Livia? The other fallen wizard. Yeah.

I want not to do with him. Oh, he wishes to bring the wizards back. Oh, he's fighting to bring the wizards back if I see him. I'll stab him seven times after I stab seven horses. Perhaps then the answer for me also lies beyond this world. If I can travel to another world perhaps I shall meet by equal and form some sort of positive love relationship with them. I shall not wait for this multifaceted gem. I have been working on a spell.

A spell? A spell that will send us to the other world. I would be more confident if I had the gem in my hand, but... You're a very powerful sorcerer. You can do the spell without... I know that very powerful sorcerer. hey that's my husband he ripped my goatee off yes that's right and I'll do it again by growing it back very painful and then growing it back I guess this is entertaining that is very painful oh no child with

me then focus all my energies and so you should I should we brace ourselves if we're about to be sent to the mirror food? Yes, all of us are about to be sent to the mirror food. Everyone put your hands on the table. Okay, your hooves Or your claws What about our hand in our hook? Put your hook on the table, too. Okay. Can I rest my chin? Sure, go ahead.

Mmm. So cute. All the powers of the universe here now use a door's scream. Let us now end this world as if it were a dream. We shall head now to another world that we did not know before, and in this new world we shall then begin murdering score by score. Let us now enter this parallel world, and let us enter it with our swords and stabs unfold. I let us now join them in this other land. I and let them feel their air escape as I close their neck with my hand. There is no way

of knowing how fast this boat is going. You're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the spell you're interrupting the different. I don't think we went anywhere different. Yeah, there's a dead wet mother over there. Oh, how sad. Well, what happened to all Tannikin's tattoos? Oh, that's right. Tannik, Tannik, stop. Oh, stop. I'm sorry. All right. You said or you said or spell erased all the tattoos off of your body Tannikin, the terrible. Oh, no, I feel really good. Tannikin. What tattoos? What tattoos? Did you also wipe Tannikin's memory or something? Oh, I hope not. Tannikin, go kill another one of the wedmothers. Oh jeez, that sounds terrible. Yeah, terrible, yes, it is terrible, go do it. Are you doing a joke because you are so funny?

What? I'm... I'm never called funny. You are in this world, you are definitely not funny. You guys must have had a little too much ale. I mean, that's true, but... You see what it's called? What did you do to Tannock in the terrible? What did I do? What did you do? I should cut you from here to here Look, I'm a trickster god and if something's going on I'm gonna get in there with some goofs and some jokes

So your old punch nuts watch yourself con of a Wilson Even though I cannot see with mine eyes, I have my eye. Oh, I'm over here. Damn it. Well, Tannik and the Terrible, thanks so much for joining us on the Evil Tavern, and, you know, just, I know you seem to be not entirely yourself, but just get back out there and start killing people when you get changed. Yeah, hold on, hold on.

I remember how many Dorsi killed, so you can make that wand again and with all the hairs on the end. You guys are being so funny. I would never kill a soul. I kind of like this. I think it's a fun thing. You should come do a Windigo winces. Yeah.

I love to. Where I have my own night where I trick people into coming and then I eat their souls. Yeah. Allow me to place my fingers upon your own forehead. Of course. Oh. I see what has happened here. The tickles.

This is not artanican. What? What? This is the tanican of the other world. They have swapped places. We swapped tanicans on us? That's right. We were all supposed to travel to the other world, but it turns out that our tanican is now in theirs. And theirs is in ours? You have a sit at perfectly.

So what's your thing? I just love to dance. Let us see this dancing. All right. I'd love to dance. And I'll show anybody my moves. Where is it happening? Oh boy, there's no thrusting or dry writing at all.

This is not evil dancing. This is very chase dance. I mean, it's adorable. It sounds pretty good. It's very adorable. I mean, look, it was good. Yeah, it was good. I mean, yeah, yeah, I prefer it would refer to be evil, but let's do want to read some emails. Sure, yeah. I have an email here. This is from Kevin Bradshaw. Of course, you can always reach me at Wendigo Wilson with three ends at hotmail.com. Sure. I'm sure. Send a lot of emails without address, because that'll definitely be read and used.

And check out our fan page on my space. This is from Kevin Bradshaw. Kevin says, Wendigo, you've obviously been asked about the best form you've taken as a shapeshifter, so I'm not gonna ask that. Instead, I ask, what's the worst thing you've changed into? Hmm.

What's the worst thing I've changed into? Probably a slob around the house, am I right? That's true. You really, I mean, we've not been doing this a lot about it in the past. I haven't been doing the dishes. I know, but you know, you talk about it to sort of make a scene.

I leave my tattered robes on the floor. Yeah, I feel like I should pick up after myself. Yeah, yeah, I know. So that's why I've turned into a slob. And to be honest, you know, and knowing what you're doing wrong isn't the same. Like, you feel like that it's like a free pass. It's like, I know what I'm doing wrong around the house. Yeah. But that's actually makes it worse. Oh boy, I'm sorry. Just like knowing you should do it means you should do it.

Carval, I'm sorry. That's all right. I'll be better. Do you remember when you were that stupid badger? Oh, I that stupid badger, why I real excited when I'd hear my name and I'd run into the room and then I'd slide on the foreign slam into something. Yes, it's still badger, probably. Well, I also have emails. You can email me at eviltavorn at puppies.supplies. It's a real email address. I probably only remember to read those emails

about twice a year, but still you can email me there. If you're not, if you don't care about them ever being right on air, but regardless, can email me there if you're not, if you don't care about them ever being right on air. But regardless, my email is my wife and I are on episode 7 with around 70 something more to go. Can you just give us a quick recap of the past 70 or so EPS so I can get caught up faster? Thanks in advance, Mark and Mary Nymphius and they have their real address down here, which I am going to read on the air, 2579 Fair Time Avenue, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 53221. Ooh, how evil of you.

Very evil. Please send them horrible things, just like bags of shit. But also, hey, thank you for your email. Thank you for supporting the podcast. What's been going on the last seven episodes? That's death, death, death, murder, death, death. A lot of death. Like at the beginning, I'd be starting to become evil

pretty quickly. Yeah, yeah, a lot of rights to power. When Dego and I sort of fell in love. When Dego, thank you. Yes. There was also, I got in a fight with a warrior has a similar name to me Carnor the the greatest car robot in food and

I Fought and killed Carnor There's that point where I saw Lewis a shark and I jumped over him. Yeah, you jumped over the shirt. Oh, yeah That was very recently. Yeah, that was very recently. Like for the longest time, we avoided doing anything like that. And then it just happened so fast. I'm like, I was gonna hop over the shirt. Yeah, yeah, totally.

Okay, well, thanks so much. Thanks so much. And Tannikin, thank you for joining us. I mean, I guess it's against your will. We accidentally snatched you out of your world. Can this Tannikin still fly? Can you fly? Of course, I can always fly.

Let's see. Here I go. Wait. It's not the same when she's not biting someone's face on it's true, but it's still pretty adorable. Like I'm tempted to just kill her, but the flying is so adorable. It's kind of winning me over. Sort of just in a, it's weird.

And just a sort of a small way it's reminding me that like... Oh, you're not gonna- You're not gonna talk about Sarah, are you? No, I'm not gonna talk about my wife that I intentionally abandoned. And I'm just thinking, you know, it's just reminding me that like... I love evil, but, you know, and... Sometimes things can just be nice that are... Good.

As much as I want to kill this penguin, we must not do so. She may be the key to getting our penguin back. Batch-bop. Good Lord, a two dimensions to monitor. Well, at least we know the difference between wizards and sorcerers isn't a predilection towards rambling exposition. Carnival Wilson was played by Arne Neacamp. When to go Wilson was played by Adel Raphai.

Usador the Black was played by Math Young. Tannik in the Terrible was played by special guest Sarah Logstin. Sarah and Adel performed regularly with revolver at I.O. Chicago. And evil, bungery chubbens was played by Tom Gottlieb. There's someone else in the space bunker with us. You mean Trisha? No, Arnie. Hi, I'm Arnie.

I'm a real person and totally not a robot at all. I'm just here to let everyone know the podcast is not real. There are not other dimensions and I was not programmed to say that. Oh, right. I activated him last night after you and Trisha had descended into the tub of sleeping fluid and I got a case of the loan lease. And even more importantly, I'm here to remind everybody that hello from the Magic Tavern is doing a live show at the now here at this festival in Anaheim, California, the weekend of October 28th through the 30th. Look, this is just an awesome podcast festival. I don't have time to say all the names of the podcasts that I'm excited are gonna be there, but here's just a couple of them, Comedy Bang Bang, Cracked, Criminal, Cry Babies, Dear Prudence, I'm clearly doing these in alphabetical order.

Doug Loves movies, The Gist, Hollywood handbook, how did this get made? I was there too! And love I was there too, and I was in no way programmed to say that. Join Jesse Go, the Moth, I mean, that's not even half of them. It's finally been announced that our show is going to be on the evening of Saturday October 29th, and single day passes are now available, so if you can't afford the whole three-day festival, get a Saturday ticket and come and see our show. We're planning something awesome.

Come to the festival, come to the show, come and see how it was, hang out, take pictures, tell us weird stuff about yourself, go to nowherethisfest.com to get tickets and information about hotels, transportation, just all the awesome things that are gonna be there. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. I'm gonna go recharge now.

So... Later, dudes. [♪ Music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, Anyway, Craig, you can finish up. I'd love to take a shot at some of the outtrust off. And I'd love to listen to fresh air once in a while, but sometimes we don't get everything on our lifelong Christmas lists. Craig, how's about you stumble across the finish line with your usual list list, Panache? Hello from The Magic Tavern was produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Jacoba, and Ryan D. Georgie. This one edited by Ryan D. Georgie. Music by Andy Poland, Logo by Allard LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox,

production assistance by Garrett Schultz. Visit us at allotfromthemagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter. Thanks to the Chicago podcast co-op and Ear Wolf. Oh, and if you need some more podcasts fun in your life, Matt Young, aka Usetors new podcast of the probe, starts September 28th. Definitely wanna listen to that.

Um, oh, everybody left. Man, everybody has a podcast these days. Do I need to get a podcast? Is that a thing? Yeah, my life's pretty boring. That was a great episode guys. Oh, yeah, the puzzle on Fizzle which was fascinating. Yeah, and I learned so much about the foo fighters I can't believe Dave Grohl can play that many instruments. It's incredible John and John used to I just got to say you know I enjoy recording this podcast with you every week and I think that might have been the best episode we've ever done Yes, I'm down pause down the best episode. Yeah. Oh, look at Tattookin fly away. Oh, Tantigan, hey Tantigan.

Oh, what? Oh, where's she going to the Unwedwent mother? Well, Tantigan, get away from the Tantigan. You're covered in dirt. What's going on? Oh, I'm tasting. She's tatted up.