Hello From The Magic Tavern - Patreon Unlock: Chunt Records an Album

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon! Will Usidore and Arnie help or hinder this musical masterpiece? Yeah, I'd assume "hinder" too.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampUsidore: Matt YoungChunt: Adal RifaiCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducer: Matt YoungPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Tim JoyceMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the country's most exclusive boarding school. Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex

collide in a game of life and death. Oh, it seems like I'm all over the place lately. What are we doing? Oh, yeah. Audio summertime, FUNIX. It's time for Arnean code to soak in some rage so you know bootleg Craig's pirate patreon radio is back on the air. I know that you, my loyal Kreg, is love old bootleg and is treasure chest of unlocked Patreon episodes, but did you know that you can go to patreon.com slash magic tavern

to become a supporter of the podcast and get bonus content on the rigs? Oh, when you think about it that way, it's like a ticket to becoming your own private pirate radio station that assurbs my pirate radio station. Imagine yourself on the high seas of the internet listening to bonus episodes plus ad-free versions of the main show. But for the moment, get on your summertime gear, your crocs, and your best jean shorts, sit back with your umbrella in your iced tea and enjoy this episode. Alright, I think I have all the recording equipment set up and I just have to get this out of the way, Patreon motherfuckers.

Pro that pillow from the page, Pavan, whichever we're doing right now. Hmm, hmm. You said, were you picking up the mics and the booth? I think I am. And I love to speak at a normal volume, or do we need to be quieter than usual? Yeah, no. See, the audio in the booth is just going to pick up in the headphones, and it's not going to be on this recording at all,

unless I've totally fucked it up. The listener won't hear you, it'll be just what's going on inside the recording studio. Oh wonderful that I can do whatever I want. Oh that's smart yes too let's do some vocal warm-ups. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, warm up that involved something about I need something that I know I need something. Okay, yes. I know I need to take a shower, but I have been busy the last seven days. That's my, that's a vocal warm up. Huh, hours was right there. I know I need to take a shower, but I've been busy for the last seven hours. Is that, can I give a little change? This doesn't work that's in the haqquat. Yeah, you're right. I've been busy the last seven hours. Is that, can I give a little change? This doesn't work the time. Yeah, you're right.

I've been busy the last seven years. Yeah, even better. My father absconded when we were bonded, because I am a Slavon Goblin, not a stolen goblin. Oh, very good one, you said, or Slavon Goblin. You know, you're Slavon, you're Goblin. It's a fuck fest.

Sure. I am so excited, but I'm also a little bit nervous. You know, I'll sing little songs here and there. I'll do little ditties. And I feel like sometimes they're good, sometimes they're great, and sometimes they're amazing. Mm-hmm. You know, whether you have little ditties or big ditties,

I think they're all beautiful. You got them little diddies. All diddies are perfect. I'm more of a duck gut. Guys, this reminds me, I'm gonna keep the tape rolling this whole time. I know, now look, obviously, we're here to record your album,

Chot, you've been a good boy. Yes, so we finally said that we would record your album. Thank you, Debbie. But I'm gonna keep the rolling all the time. So that we can have maybe a later have behind the scenes content, you know, like that mini series of The Beatles breaking up. Like if we ever break up at the end of recording this album,

we'll have all of this for a documentary. The Beatles broke up, but they were just rolling a ball of Dung into their home. The Dung broke up. Oh no. Oh, that's terrible. The dung broke up. Oh no. Oh, that's terrible. I mean, beetles are such interesting creatures. There's always, here's what I'll say, Arnie.

I don't know if you know this, but me being a part of the animal kingdom, there's always one beetle out of the four that everyone's just like, eh, sure. Like, why is this beetle in here? That beetles on the percussion, right? Usually.

Sometimes, there's also usually a cute beetle. Where is this beetle in here? That beetle's on the percussion, right? Usually. Sometimes there's also usually a cute beetle, there's an abusive beetle, and there's a quiet beetle. You know what, it's so weird. Yeah, when people frame it that way, where they're like, you know what, my favorite is the abusive beetle.

He's so mysterious. This is really into how abusive he is. Ooh, I hope I'm not losing my voice. I sound a little horse. Yousef, could you put a little horse on my throat? And maybe that will help me project? Arath toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka torokaroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toroka toro toroka toro throat. I think he's choking. Is he choking? Here, I'm like, I'm gonna do it. Oh, thank you, Arnie. Much better, thank you, you said, or... Who's? Wait, Arnie, what's that little phrase? Any time I'm choking, you grab me from behind and push my little belly inward

and you say some sort of spell. The Heim my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother.

I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm like my mother. I'm little lizard but it wasn't my friend wizard. These are great vocal warm-ups. Oh my god, this is guys, why don't we do a track of all vocal warm-ups? That sounds fine to me, it's your album you record would be like. Like instead of doing like sketches between songs, you'll just have vocal warm-ups between songs? I could do sketches in between songs. I've got to be honest though, I was looking forward to this some of the big diddies.

Oh, well, it is a big ol' fucking sloppy ditties. And, John, would you rather start with the little ditties or the big ditties? I mean, at some point the ditties get too big. What? Here's what I'll say, as a singer, I want a mouthful. Anything more than a mouthful is too big of a ditty. Does that make sense?

I don't know. Here's what we'll start. Okay, so, who's doing what? So, Arnie and Ysor, you're in the booth here? What are we doing? I'm mostly here for support. Yusor's on the table, on the buttons. I don't know of the terminology and fuck.

If anyone would know, it would be me. So we'll screw it on that account. So I see Yusor's buttons. There's three that say one, and there's four that say two. So he's on the ones and twos. Yeah, okay. And if I'm just here, I'm this is kind of the idea guy, you know, and also I'm going to take a big cut of the profits. Fine by me. Oh, you're a producer. Arnie, take whatever you want, buddy. But also do you want to water? Do you want to die, cook? Oh, uh, a water sounds good. Yeah, I'll be right back. Why would I put dye into a drink you want a diet coke? Ooh, a water sounds good, yeah.

I'll be right back. Why would I put dye into a drink I'm about to consume? It just for the taste of it? Not interested in this conversation, I'll be right back. Diet coke, though. Why do they dye it? I don't understand. I'm not sure.

I mean, I get, if it's going up your nose, does that affect your gums? Maybe, perhaps. Is it? affect your gums? Maybe, perhaps. Make your gums colorful. Oh, that's sort of fun to wait to sort of decorate your own face. Yeah, but not our context. Alright, I'm back with water and a rubber hose. Is that for going up my nose? Yeah, pure nose with a rubber hose. Hmm, out your butt with a rubber hose. Ah, okay, that isn't bowed well for my songs. Out your butt unless your anus is shut. Oh, that's a great one.

Arnie, lay that down, lay that down. Welcome back, Arnie. Okay, so as my process typically is, I didn't bring any notepads into the studio with me and I stayed up all night drinking and I'm just gonna try and think of what topics I wanna cover. So first songs first, I think you always lead all night drinking and I'm just gonna try and think of what topics I want to cover. So first songs first, I think you always lead with the best track I assume.

So the first track I want to talk about something that's very near and dear to me, something that maybe the most important thing in my life, top three at least, my blood holes. So I was thinking maybe we start with like, chantry music. So there's like a little twang to it, it's a little folksy. So I was thinking something, I'll pop, like, chantry music. I was like, oh, twang, it's a little folksy. So I was thinking something, blah, blah, blah, blah, tita, tita, something along the lines of this. Two little buttholes,

pocket little buttholes. All those such good friends, these little ends my buttholes. And I just keep sewing these buttons while he does this and I keep raising the number three little buttholes Perfect little buttholes Parked little mud falls Something like that and then we fucking drop the beat Like that's just like the in-relude that's just just like the prelude. I don't know if we need blue.

I thought that was perfect the way it is, but if I only say that we need to drop a beat into there, perhaps there's a part where, you know, since the tempo has increased, you've sort of set it up with this beautiful song that you've sang, but then you get serious and you get a little more aggressive. Perhaps we hear a verse like that before you switch back to the more melodic and beautiful version. Okay, we could do that. I also have another idea about how to drop in the beats. Can we try this real quick?

Sure. No bad ideas. Too perfect, but hold on. I want it to be known. This is my album. There are bad ideas. Okay, but who... Okay. I just want to make this clear. There are bad ideas. Okay.

Look, we are all thinking it. I would even say outside of the context of this album, there are bad ideas. Yeah, I agree. A lot of them. Look, it's possible that this whole thing is a bad idea. Absolutely. And we won't know until we're done. That's how it goes with most ideas.

But already on the way over here to the studio, you kept telling me to work in the lyric upside down horse. That's nothing. That is, that sucks. No, think I'm at it. There's just something about it, upside down horse. That makes no sense.

I'm not gonna- I'm not gonna rhymes with it Bup dime of course Okay, yeah, that's bad. Okay, okay, so I'm gonna work I'm gonna work in the drop. Well drop a beat That's it Wait I'm gonna say that. That's it. You're gonna be the singing voice you have. Wait, can you be a backup vocalist? I guess so. I mean, I don't even know about it, but I do like to just sing to myself.

Sometimes I'm going to mountain the field. No, we can all hear you. It's too everyone. Is it because I'm looking in the window? I'm just saying, just see if anyone can hear me. Crickets talk. Okay, so Arnie, here's how it's gonna go. I'm gonna say the lyric,

and then you're gonna repeat it, and then I'm gonna move on to the next lyric. You ready? And be right on my tail. Is that a lyric? Okay. Yeah, why are you interrupting? No, I'm so I'm so sorry. Ah, fuck, okay, from the... Be right on your tail. Thank you. Let's take it from the top. Okay. Two little butto, little butto, Perfect little butto,

Pocket little butto, Pocket little butto, Be right on my tail. Be right on my tail. Oh, I like that. I wish people listening to the album could see the hand gestures that we are making while we're doing this. There's so serpentine. Sorry, I started messing with my mic.

Oh, how's it going? Use the doors. I bumped my mic. Is that going to mess up the album? I don't think so. I'm just sewing buttons here onto this console that you've left here. If I'm on the buttons, I'm going to sew these buttons. What buttons did you add? Oh, just all sorts of buttons, pearl buttons, and clay buttons, and stone buttons that I found. Red buttons.

Have I ever talked about my collection of buttons? No. They're sort of like tiny rocks with holes in them. They're all your clothes on. You know what? I'm sorry, I asked producer, I'm making an executive decision. You're off the buttons. You're off the buttons. You know what?

I think to do this because I know my voice needs to be on the mic, but I'm gonna go into the booth. You said, or you're coming in here, you're the backup singer now. I'm gonna be on the buttons, because you clearly can't handle the buttons. All right, fine. Okay, you're the backup singer now. I'm gonna be on the buttons, because you clearly can't handle the buttons. All right, fine. Okay, you should have,

so hard when we both try to go through this door at the same time. Just wait a second. Let's take a look at what I'm gonna do. What are you doing? So we're trying to get through this door at the same time. What are you doing? I don't wanna go low.

Don't worry, I'll just shrink myself down to half size. Hey, wait, we're a pop-up. All right. We're in off, pop, pop. All right. We're here for a pop, pop, pop. So same thing, you sir, you're gonna be back up vocals, but I want you to go real high. Real high? All right, I can do that.

Real high. So you're gonna be right, just right on. Okay, here we go. And this time, I keep forgetting, this time Arnie, I promise I will drop in a beat. Okay, great. Here we go, from the top. Fuck, there's so many buttons here now.

You can hear you? Yeah, it's so many buttons. Arnie, we can hear you. Oh, no, don't worry. This isn't going to be picked up in the recording. Two little buttholes. Two little buttholes. Perfect little buttholes.

Perfect little buttholes. Pocket little buttholes. Beat. Tuck a little butth beat Pocket little but holes Stay right on my tail, beat Stay right on my tail, beat Are you adrapped in two beats? Oh, okay, beat.

Can I just say, can I just say, you said, or maybe you're naturally in a lower register, should we try one where you go real low? I suppose if you want to do it that way, you need to know, no bad ideas except for the ideas that are definitely bad ideas. Okay, so you go real quick. I go high, you go low.

Two little but holes. Two little but holes. Perfect little but holes. Pocket little but holes. Pocket little but holes. Stay right on my tail. Stay right on my tails. Are anyone think?

Is that something? It's a shame we've gotten this Christmas because this should have been like Christmas single. There's always next year. It's beginning to look a lot like buttholes. Ooh, everywhere you smell. That's something. Just hear those buttholes ding-ling ding-ling by it's. What?

What else are ding-ling? Ding-ling's. The buttholes are ding-lings. Okay, that makes sense. Ding-lings can be in a butthole, buttholes can be on the shore. Oh, sure. What was that face? Yeah, I don't Okay, that makes sense. Dengolangs can be an abut whole but whole is can be on the show. Oh, sure. Mm-hmm. Whoa, is that face?

Yeah. No, I hear you. Very excited. I hear you. Yeah, amen. Okay, so we have our abut whole song. It's in the can. Yeah, it's done.

We'll fix it in post. He put a button in the can or something over there. There's so many things. You saw ads. So many buttons to this. I don't even know which are the real buttons anymore. Pearl buttons and Onyx buttons, all manner of button have been so tall today.

Okay, so another song, so this will be Track 2. And Track 2, you want it to be similar, but different than Track 1. So you don't want to lose, you don't want to lose the listener, but you want to show them, you want to introduce something new. Right? So you're saying it, you don't want to lose the listener, but you want to show them you want to introduce something new, right? So you're saying it you don't want it to be you know what track to To be exactly the same song as track one. No for the most part Okay, that's quite a good. Okay, so this one. I so this one's a little it's a little more dancey

It's a little more sexy. Okay, and it's kind of risque if I'm being honest. Oh, okay, so so this is like Who's that who's that walking up the street? Ooh, ooh, large please daddy. Large please daddy. Large please daddy. Ooh, that's sexy. Yeah, ooh, really get that bass in there. And people are really familiar.

Guys, guys, guys, I hate to cut you off. I'm dying to say this. I doubt it. Too sexy. What? Too sexy. I'm too sexy. What if I wear this hat? I hate to say this. I doubt it. Too sexy. What? Too sexy. I'm too sexy? What if I wear this hat?

Too sexy for the hat. What? Guys, all I'm saying is halfway through that song, I came in my pants over here. Arnie, halfway through. That song was like 10 seconds long. No, it's why I'm saying it's too sexy. Listen, if we release this to listeners,

which we wouldn't, because it would be not safe. Everyone listening to this probably came in their pants, whether they realize it or not, and if they didn't, they should go and check. Oh, Arnie, honestly, let's keep track to what it is, and then the first sketch will introduce as an interlude will be you just saying, I came in my pants.

Shrug, and you have to say shrug, because it's an album. Oh, okay, well, here's the thing, this mic isn't set up to record. You said we're gonna switch places with me? Sure, here we go again. Yeah, just wait a minute. Just wait until I'm through the door.

No, but I already, I was one that said, I'm the pretty sure you're gonna have size this time. Iwawa, wa, wa. No, but I already I was one that said I'm the pretty sure you have size All right So funny anytime either one of you is shrunk you immediately want to talk and say something just be patient I know here's the thing. Chuck. I don't know if you've experienced this. When you get shrunk down, you immediately just want to start talking. You start to shrink me. I'd rather off off.

Hey, I want to... Save. Save. Save. Save. Save. Save. Now, Chuck, do your little churn on the dance floor.

Oh, no, Chuck. You're a model. You know what I mean. I know what you mean. Here's the thing. You get shrunk downodl. Thank you. You know what I mean. I know what you mean. Here's the thing, you get shrunk down and you want to talk.

But you don't really have anything to say. So you get shrunk down and you're just like, no, I'm small. And large please, Teddy. Rafa da la. Huh, and now we have nothing to say. I know. Oh, Arnie, we're gonna do,

that's right, we're gonna do the pick-up of you saying, I came in with my, oh, if you came in your pants, maybe it would sort of help mitigate how horny that is. Maybe you can do something like say, oopsies. Oh, so you don't want me to do a sexy? Oh, well, can you, try and give me a sexy oopsies? Oopsie.

Arnie, sexy oopsies. Thatie. Are any sexy oopsies? That was more playful than sexy. It's like a sex butler. That was like a sex butler. That was a sex butler oopsie. Please, they're called fuck butlers. Let's do it a little sexier and a little less playful, a little more like intense sexy.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So who should I be making a high contact with? Me, me, me. Yeah, the last one, I also wanna say the last one was accusatory. So make this like, oopsies. Make the, yeah.

No, that's a fair, that's a good note because here's the thing, your song made me come out on my pants, so I think I was accusing you. Use that, use that, you're a fuck butler. I am, I'm the one who hired you, here we go. Okay. Oopsie. That's more stir.

Too harsh, let's just do it. Too harsh. Okay. Oopsie. That's more stir-hars. Let's do a little bit of stir-hars. Okay. Just throw one away. Off the top, just throw it away. Go. Oopsie. Oh, wait. Did you come again?

Sounds like you came again. No, I was just finishing. I was just, I didn't realize it was still happening. Just finishing. Wait, so you came after five seconds and then like ten minutes later, you finished? How did that work? Teach us. Okay, so we have perfect little buttholes. We have large please daddy. We have our interlude sketch. I'm just seeing the back cover. Oh, let me pull up my pants. Yeah, I'm just seeing these titles and it's like people are, these are going to fly off the shelf. But then we switch it up with track three, right?

We switch it up with track three, because one and two work to kind of let the audience in. And now I'm gonna lean real hard on my catch phrases. That's so unlike you. I know, but if I'm working with my brand, I just have to, I have to get those phrases. I need to get earworms. People need to be like, oh, being bon, get wet.

Mm-hmm, chun, please, I have a baby. Does that make sense? More sounds, boy. I have a baby. I have a baby. I have a baby. I have a baby. Oh, maybe that's the beat.

I have a baby. I have a baby. I have a baby. I have a baby, oopsie. Because it almost sounds like do you have the beat. Oh, you're B-B. Oh, you're B. Oh, you're B. Oh, you're B. Oopsy. Because it almost sounds like, do you have a beat? Oh, you're B-B. Do you have a B?

Oh, you're B-B. That's fun. Is that fun? No, it's very fun. I, I, I, I, I, did you want one of us? Do you want one of us to do that while you sing over it? I want Arne to do that. Okay.

And I want you, you used to recite your full name quietly. Yeah, John, if you say, is that fun and there's a long silence? It means yes, it's very fun. I see, because everyone's having so much fun. Yeah, they'd forget to answer me because they're asking you a fun. Yeah, I love that. Okay, Oh, Basquan makes me think of Mittens. At some point we need to do like a Mittens chant song, a fight song or something. Oh, that's fun.en makes me think of Mittens. At some point we need to do like a Mittens fight song or something.

Oh, that's fun. Remind me, remind me. Yeah, because we can get a song into the... Say that idea again. What idea? They're about the fight song. What fight song? The one you just mentioned.

What are you talking about? You said that we, the Basqueen made you think we need to do a fight song like a Mittens fight song. Thank you for reminding me. That's gonna be a lot of fun. I just wanted to give it a proper pause to really bask in the fun. Thank you.

Okay, what were we doing? Oh, we're gonna do, um, oh yeah, oh yeah, but be. Oh yeah, but be. So Arnie, you're gonna say that. Oh yeah, but be. Oh yeah, but be. Oh yeah, but be. Oh yeah, but be.

And you sort of come back out by the microphone. Okay. And you're out way to out of back in the, no And your pal, why do I go back in the booth? No, no, no, no, no, you stay out here. I have some birds on the buttons. I called some birds over there, but they'll do it. It's fine. Perfect.

They're just falling away with the button. What am I going to do? You're going to recite your name. But just quietly. Yes. Quietly, and almost like with a musicality. Okay. Like I am. You should know. Where's, Wizard of the 12th round of a fee.

It's like a little rhythm. So Arnie laid down the, are you a bibi? Oh yeah, bibi. Oh yeah, bibi. Yeah, yeah, bibi. Wizard of the Thieves. Master of the Lads and Shand. Many of you later off, you had to go to the Lads. Oh Yes, yeah, I love this

There's no his feet Oh, oh you drive me crazy. Oh, yeah baby. No, that doesn't work. No stop stop stop. It doesn't scan. It doesn't scan. I tried to work in too many words. Oh my go. Use it or name, name, name. Use it or you're a little bit. I'm a little bit tired from the things. I'll be master of the action. All the calm just sucked back into my dick. All the calm just sucked back into my dick. All the calm just sucked back into my dick because I miss you.

Please come back, come back, all the come, just got sucked back. I lost it. I lost it. That was something. That was something. Okay, so that's track four. Okay, what are we on? Ah, yeah, how many tracks is this album gonna have?

Contractually 22. 22. Was that three or was that four? I thought that was just three. That, oh, you're right, that's three because we had a sketch interludes. And Arnie, you said on Earth that sketch interludes aren't considered tracks?

Well, they have a number, so they're one of the tracks. They have a number, so we're on four. I mean, they're bullshit and people will skip them, but if you contractually have to have a certain number of tracks, then yeah. Arnie, can you say that again in like a nerdy stern voice? You've got to have a certain number of tracks! Mr. Perfect, that's number five. That's a new sketch, interlude.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, people are going to skip that. But if it's like a phone call to me, like ding ding, listen up, chant. Vivo, ding ding ding. Let's hear it in the voice. Let's hear it in the voice. Yeah, listen up, chant. This new album is supposed to be the best thing ever and so far it sucks shit.

That's perfect. What else have you got? This next one better be the best. Are you recording me? You better not put this on your album. Oh, this is perfect. This is, because now we have, we have a, I'm the protagonist

and now we have an antagonist. I'm hanging up now, a fumble fumble that I didn't really hang it up. Anyway, mother, what? No, I would just on the phone with Chant. Yeah, his new album is gonna suck shit But this bed in this next song it better be good. Oh, let's work it on lose the house That's right mother. I put your whole I put your house on a reverse mortgage to fund this album

Oh, no, then it sucks shit. No, it's sad. Oh no, this sketch is more interesting than the songs. Oh no, wait, did I not hang up that phone properly? I think the rest of the tracks have to be this guy's fucking story. Mother, why didn't you never teach me how to hang up a phone? This is your fault. We gotta have a flashback to him and his mother and her not teaching him about the phone. We have to have a flash forward to see if he keeps the house.

Oh, Arnie, this is a curse and a blessing, but mostly a curse. I know you've been dead for 20 years, mother, but I still like to talk to you. Oh, twist. Ooh, it's getting very interesting. I was about to suggest that Chant Play, the mother, is sort of a tour de force for his album, but if the mother's been dead, I guess that's not an option. Oh, maybe so what do we on track six? Maybe track six starts with John plays the mother, do do do do. And then I come running in and I start saying,

what are some things moms might say? Uh, uh, uh, clean behind your ears. And the whole track is like, it's almost like talk singing. So it's like, uh, chump plays a mother. Hey, everybody, cling behind your ears. Don't forget, underwear, cling about, uh, chump plays the mother. So it's just a list, it's just a list of stuff. Yeah, toxinging, it's always great when you get like, before halfway through and how long you're like, oh yeah, they're not gonna be singing much, eh?

Yes, they're done singing. Ornie, you said basically the earth, earth, national anthem was something about sunscreen? A song that was talking about sunscreen? Something like that. Anyway, this is gonna be great. A Bob Lerman? Bob Lerman?

China, are you okay? Are we having fun? Yes, of course you can tell from the pause. Yeah, here we go. So, chump plays the mother and what are some more? Yes, of course you can tell from the pause. Yeah, I agree. So, Chuck plays the mother and what are some more? Stay out of my purse. Don't steal my money. Get picked that up off the floor.

Yes, pick that up off the floor. You're gonna live with your auntie and uncle in Bele. Stuff like that, just like things mothers would say. Yeah, I don't like movies where bad things happen. Yeah, I guess. How do I know that actor? What do I know him from? There's too many commercials.

Used to be everyone on hats. Stuff like that. Jump play is the mother. That's pretty good, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay, so that's track. I wanna say that was 12. Okay, so 13.

So 13, we bring in our ringer. Now, you source been, he's been, he'll be accredited as a guest star for, I want to say, track three where he says his name in the background. Track four. That feels like a featuring. What did I say? You said a guest.

It feels like a featuring when you're, I'm just saying my name. It feels like a featuring credit. Where it's like, if someone heard this song on the radio, which I know you don't know what that is, but don't worry about it. If you heard this song on the radio, you're like, oh, the new Yusador song is out. Mm. Okay. Yeah, this one, this one would be the new Yusador song.

So now we, now we, we take the chains off, you should let them go. He's unleashed. Yusador is unleashed. That'll be the name of this track. So now, so Yusador, you, okay, sketch by me. Yusador, can you take those chains off?

Excuse me. Of course, I can take these chains off. Anytime I wish. And you sir, we're not in a doorway right now, so you can just go around me. There's a lot of, you're right on top of me. Nobody, but it's a scooter,

but it just skips, skips, skips, you can just get your chains. You can get your chains. Well, because, well, I can get out of these chains, but I'm enjoying them. Wait, chains, chains, chains. That change chains, chains, that's nothing. Okay, you sir, whenever you're ready, start your song.

This is Yousadore Unleashed. Okay, now try this, run away, chain. Okay, that's good. Now, I have a question before I do my song. Purple chain. This is still your album. So am I doing a chunt song, but it's Yusudor doing it, or is this a song where you like completely turn

the keys over to me and it's about whatever I want it to be about, or is it am I still like somehow channeling chuntness through this song? I think this is, here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say in this and then we're going. Two words. Use the door? Unleashed. Alright. Birds and rocks and magic spells Traveling through the seven hills Find my way to peace and love

I like sparrows and I like dogs I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I'm not a fan of the song. I'm not a fan of the song, I might have a question earlier, why does Arnie have to do a funny voice when he's doing his little sketch? Well, in the sketches, what we wanna hear

is someone new but familiar. Oh, okay. So if Arnie just talks his Arnie and was like, hey buddy, hey buddy, how you doing? Right, we'd all be like, oh that's Arnie. And then we'd be like, he's acting and then we hate his acting. We're just like, blah, blah. Alsonie. And then we'd be like, he's acting, and then we hate his acting. We're just like, blah.

Also, I just have naturally have so much gravitas. So if I said these things, people would be like, oh, yeah, they would just be thinking about the truth of my word. You always say that word. Whenever I accidentally drop a towel on a glass and step on it, you always say that word. Mm-hmm.

What is it? I'm a thus. So Arnie, you're afraid there would become a drama sketch instead of a comedy sketch. Mm-hmm. I gotta do a funny voice. Okay. Uh, so are drama sketches allowed on albums?

Arnie? Mm, it's a good question I'm trying to... Or should we save the drama for my mama scene? Ah, that's not true. Champ play is the mama that maybe we make that dramatic. So it's like, Chon plays the mama, and then it's like, we lost the house. Chon plays the mama, you're not my real child.

I never loved you. Stuff like that, is that fun? Yeah. Yes. Chon plays the mama, I'm addicted to pills. Okay, so what's next? What's next? Arnie, isn't that your catchphrase?

It is my catchphrase. Okay, Arnie, you step up to the main mic. You sir, why did you come up to the front? You're behind Arnie. You got up in front of him purely to, uh-huh. You're doing this on purpose. Well, I don't know what he means. Guys, I've become disoriented and I don't know if I'm in the booth or out of the booth. I've lost track. Dude, where do I need to go? The birds have the booth covered. It's fine. Okay, we can all just stay in here. Okay, so maybe aren't you use those lyrics in the booth out of the booth, in the booth, out of the booth,

the upside-ups, up in the downsides down. I don't know what I'm saying anymore, so I'm just talking about what I'm doing. Look out, Arnie. I think he said, booth, one of those times. Music, cut, print. We don't have time.

Am I in the booth or out of the booth? Is that a triff booth? It's a triff booth. He said, boof, one of those times. He said, cut, print, we don't have time. Am I in the boof or out of the boof? Is that a truff boof? It's a truff boof. Oh, remember you saw when you made that truff boof? And we had to get inside of it. And any question you asked, we had to answer, we had to answer trufffully.

Anther trufffully? I do remember. Yeah, we had to answer with our teeth. It was very drawable. It made us all seem like we were seven years old and losing our teeth, but we did have to be truthful in there. Okay, so now I can forget about the more meabre on like 14 or 17. So now we need like a ballad. Something that's just like a really beautiful song. So, so me it's something of like

when I find myself in times of trouble, all I say is Bing-Bong. Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bong-Bong-Bong-Bong-Bing-Bing-Bong-Bong-Bong-Bing-Bing-Bong-Bong-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing-Bong-Bong Bing-Bing-Bong, something like that. Print. So you're saying we only have to come up with the first five or six words, and then we can just descend into Bing-Bong. You tell me, Mr. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. What about a sturner balladad about like a soldier or something? He fought for all of Foon. He gave us each his greatest warrior, palants, and fought, and fought, and never did waver. In all his days, the silver night, the ballad of the silver night. I like ballads that tell you they're a ballad.

The ballad of blank. Arnie, here's the thing, you guys come from a world where music hasn't really evolved as much as it has on my world. They're excuse me. Fuck you. My world, we have so much music technology. Our balance have reached the height

of sort of 80s hair metal ballads, where you, you know, that you're just sort of like a crazy rocker who just fucks 24-7, but also... Oh. You've got a heart that yearns underneath it, and you're really kind of serious. Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, sing it. Yeah, sing the most beautiful ballad from your world. Okay. So just imagine, later we'll add piano, right? Like piano playing, the piano being played

by someone who normally plays guitar. That's important. Okay. You're like, for a very good reason. This piano sounds like this person is probably pretty okay at playing guitar. Okay. I'm out here.

I'm out here fucking all the time And it gets so hard, I'm fucking rocking all the time I miss you, I miss you while I'm fucking other people on the road On the road, on the road no one understands Just how serious I can be No one really understands What it would look like if I were on a set full of candles Already I came halfway through

I know, I know Wow That was incredible, honey. That was so good. Wow, I didn't know you had that in you. That was really wonderful. I didn't either. So then this same individual then steps up from the piano, puts their guitar back on,

starts like, licking the air and just going hog fucking wild. Licking the air, hog fucking wild. Licking the air, hog fucking wild Look in the air, hock fucking wild Look in the air, hock fucking wild Look in the air, hock fucking wild I'm a hock fucking wild That's track 20 Two more, two more home stretch Home stretch, maybe that's something Oh, you know, I'm waiting to get

Here's my question, are we contractually obligated to be good at math I don't think we're contractually obligated to be good at math? I don't think we're contractually obligated to be good at songs. All right. I mean, I think we can do what we want. I hope that's the shit we want. Wait, do you have a math song?

Me? No. Oh, maybe it's a numbers game. It's a numbers game. Hey Arnie, hey what? Hey Arnie, hey what? What's three plus two? Oh, call in response.

All right, you call and I'll respond. Okay, here we go. It's a numbers game. It's a numbers game. Hey Arnie, hey what? Hey Arnie, hey what? I got some math for you. Oh no.

Oh, no. Oh, what's three plus two? Three plus two? No, no, no. Three plus three. Three plus three. That's right, but. Three plus three. Three plus three. That's right, but what is it? What are we getting at?

Perfect cut, Brent. That's 21. You know, I want to do this song. Ernie, when you sang about that guy who was fucking someone, but also when she left to go wherever he was fucking other people on the side, made me really root for the person who was committing the infidelity. So that made me think of storytelling is really important.

So I think we should do a song where we all three, it's a mask collaboration, mask cab for short. All three of us start with a little bit of storytelling in terms of maybe saying, you know, my name is Chantin, I'm here to say. Just so we get a character name, and then we all, I know, my name is Chant and I'm here to say. Just so we get a character name, and then we all, I mean, we're playing ourselves.

But everyone in the song is a character, right? So I don't say Chant. No, you would. I say my name is Chant and I'm here to say. That's what we all three say. Was that not clear? No, just clarifying. You said we all played ourselves, so.

No, it's clear, but it seems wrong. The Royal ourselves. So, you know, we get the character up top, and now we hear some story about them. What are they here to say? Why this song? Right? So, for example, say, my name is Chant, and I'm here to say, right? I always shape shift in the usual way. And then Arnie might say, my name is Chant, and I'm here to say, something, something, something, yay. Okay, I'm seeing the flaw in this problem, is that all of us have to rhyme with say.

Not necessarily, I could say something like, my name is Chant, and this is my song, and I like to go being in Bing-Bong. That's incredible, and then I could come back in again and say something of like, my name is Say and I'm here to chunt. Mm-hmm, right? Sometimes Arnie is a fucking asshole to me. Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah.

That's kind of fun. My name is chunt. I'm here to proclaim it's no longer acceptable to say something's lame. I think you're right, Arnie. Okay, that's um, was that 22? I think that was 22. That's the whole song. Guys, we just completed an album now for some bonus songs And this is where it gets away. We need to have a bonus track. The ones that they're not good enough for the album. Yeah, that makes sense. So these are like throw away fuckarounds.

So like we can get really nasty. Like pig, dicks, pig, dicks, slip it up, slip it up, pig, dicks. That's one. We need 10 more. Trying to think something real nasty. Oh, Arnie, that's a sketch. That's, this could be an initial sketch.

Trying to think of something real nasty. Okay. Hey, chunt, I'm just calling to say this next cut had better be real nasty. Nasty? Nasty than everything on the regular album. All right, I'm hanging up. Click, click, click.

Mother! Yes, he's back. I did what you asked. I called Chunt. And had him and told him to be really nasty. Remember those nasty things you were telling me that you wanted to be on the album? All right, I've got one.

Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do fucking in the sewer. Do do do do do do do do do do fucking in the sewer. Do do do do do do do do do do. I'm fucking in the sewer and I won't stop till I come Cut print amazing we got a sketch. We got a new track. That's three in the bucket Also we could I think we should also use your dead-on we should have a string of nasty songs

So so these are all nasty and so I so a new one would be like Boy wanna piss on your come. Yeah, yeah, boy, piss on your come. I want to, oh yeah, I want to piss on your come. I'm going to shit on your jizz and piss on your come tonight. Cut, print rap. I love this. I'd be honest if you don't like it. Hey, splooge. Right. Got Britwrap. I love it. I love that.

Great. I'm, here's the thing, I'm nervous to sing anymore. Because I fear the legal repercussions. Sure. I was inspired by something that Chant said just a few seconds ago that he said, we got three in the bucket. And that could be interpreted in a lot of ways. We got three in the bucket, and that could be interpreted in a lot of ways. We got three in the bucket, we got three in the bucket, we got three in the bucket, and

you're going to take one out. Oh, I love that. Mysterious. It's mysterious, but it's also still gross. Because that's mysterious, that one won't have a number, it'll just be kind of hidden. Oh, I love it. And people will hope people find it Oh Fuck what's wrong?

cans here. Oh shit. Hey can You're about my album. Yes, I am canificent do spring He's been on your album in the future and then he knew about it in the past or whatever time bullshit future and then he knew about it in the past or whatever time bullshit. Fine, you wanna lay down the track real quick? The warlords did know me as can I get a beat? Oh, okay. Pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch, pooch. I get so much pussy in the future in the past.

No, thank you, thank you past. No thank you, can. No thank you. I get so much pussy in the future in the past. Honestly, fuck that's fire. I mean that was pretty great but still. Son of a bitch, that's great. Oh, I'm gonna steal that lyric. Oh, boochie, boop, booch.

I get so much pussy in the future in the past. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. I get so much pussy in the future in the past. Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom I am chunk at that time travel ass. Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom

boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom track on the album and then immediately cover it. That is a number of that song. You're brilliant. Thank you. Go. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P That's because he's so dumb. Bop, bop, bop. Ha ha ha ha ha. Fuck, yes, may want to end that song. And then it's like, time travel, fucking. I'm time travel, fucking. Accidentally had sex with my mom. Time travel. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's us. Accidentally had sex with your mom. I thought this is where it was going. Is this the lawyer character? Is this you? Yeah, there's nasty and then there's crime Oh that master crime. Oh that nasty crime do the time. Oh that nasty crime fucking dogs fucking dogs Fuck fuck dogs in the fucking dogs. The verdict of this jury is this is officially nasty. Wow, it is such a relief to know this album will never be released in Sully the Airwaves.

This episode was produced by Matt Young, post-production co-ordination by Garrett Schultz, special assistance by Ryan D. Georgie. This episode was edited by Tim Joyce, logo by Aller Lombard, theme by Andy Poland. As shocking and upsetting as much of that was, you don't have to wait to be scandalized. Just go to patreon.com slash magic tavern to become a patron. For only five bucks a month, you not only support our independent production,

but you get some pretty sweet benefits like two new bonus episodes each month. And that's not all. You get a monthly newsletter from the hosts, early access to live events, access to the Magic Tavern Discord with a quarterly virtual meet and greet with the hosts, and the full back catalog of bonus content, ad-free, including every single Magic Tavern spain off series. Plus, other unscheduled surprises, like a full video of the 2023 live show from San Francisco Sketchfest featuring Guy Brannum. To become a patron

right now, just head on over to patreon.com slash magic tavern. And as for me, I'll just be here poolside with my shades hanging on the tip of my nose as I look right into the camera and say, see you next time, babies. Boy! So how do we finish the album? I think we've got to hear more from that sketch guy, Arnie, do you mind? Oh sure, of course. We've got a rabble of his story.

I know this is only the second time I've ever done comedy, but... Mm-mm. But I, you know, I'm going to have an undercurrent of truth and drama to it. Chant? The new album? It's a big hit. We're going to be rich. Fumble, fumble, not able to hang up a phone. Mother, yep.

I lied to him like he would told me to. I told him the album would be a big hit. I didn't tell him that we're ruined. And that you came back to life and then died again. It was what did so bad. Oh, sad. Oh, I'm such a sad character. I've been ruined by all of this.

All of the hadn't said pussy so many times. We really couldn't tap into that children's market. That's a wrap.