Hello From The Magic Tavern - Patreon Unlock: Girls Night: Cruisin' I

Episode Date: April 7, 2025

Enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon! Flower, Momo, and Gianessa head out on a vacation cruise.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Bsky, Instagram and YouTube!CreditsMomo the Mouse: Erin KeifFlower: Brooke BreitGianessa Relkorus: Dana QuercioliCraig: Ryan DigiorgiProducers: Matt YoungAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Anna HavermannSpecial Assistance: Ryan DigiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandNew T-Shirts in the Merch Store!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I'm John Robbins and joining me on How Do You Cope this week is Rosie Jones. Yes, abuse is hard, but I can go to bed at night knowing that I have been my true authentic self. So that's How Do You Cope with me, Jon Robbins. Find us wherever you get your podcasts. When Luigi Mangione was arrested for allegedly shooting the CEO of UnitedHealthcare, he didn't just spark outrage, he ignited a cultural firestorm. Is the system working or is it time for a reckoning? I'm Jesse Weber. Listen to Law and Crime's Luigi exclusively on Wondery Plus. My oh my, it's spring break for bootleg can-coon Craig and wouldn't it be nice to head down

to Kokomo for some fun fun fun? Help me Rhondaonda I can't stop referencing Beach Boys songs But if you want to send us some good vibrations stick around after the show to learn how you can support our indie production Or just surf on over to patreon.com slash magic tavern right now I may love the beach and pina coladas But these California girls are out from behind the paywall and they're on a boat. Wait, was that Beach Boys or Lonely Island? Nevermind, it's girls' night cruisin'. ["The Beach Boys and the Lonely Island"] Oh, Flower, you do not really look like your passport painting.

Okay, so this is not a real passport. Is it a good time to talk about this? We're two away from the front. Flower now? I know, but listen, I fucked up big time. I did not get my fairs in order. Did you know this expires, that then you have to get a whole new portrait?

Like you can't just re-up the situation, like they gotta make you start from scratch. Famous and yes. Yeah yeah I didn't I I'm not good with numbers um I don't perceive them properly so I did not know what date it was. Okay. And then when I looked at it I was like we're supposed to go on this cruise it's cruise o'clock let's get going and then I was like wait that this cruise is gonna cross some international territory yeah I'll get my hold on hold on hold on uh one second sir just give us one moment please just one yeah we're waiting for a friend and also we're just dealing with something that's none of your business sorry sorry don't go with aggression don't go with aggression

because I'm sorry all right you just have to walk up there with a lot of confidence, right? Right. Why would... Wait a minute. What? You've conned your way into many a room before, right? I'm not making a judgement on your overall personality, but like, you do stuff like this all the time and you don't get caught, right? Yeah, Momo, I'm not concerned. You're the one bringing this shit up.

Like, I wasn't concerned at all. I'm cool as a cucumber. You're the one who looked at my picture being like, that doesn't look like you. And I'm like, cause it's not me. She and Nessa is late. Okay. Which is not like her. I'm panicking about that. Momo is the one who organized the cruise. Momo's not very good at doing stuff like this. And so I got to get you in. And you will. got you you got you

There's 300 people behind you. Do I let them pass? I'll move to the side. Let them pass. Let them walk by can they not see that? We're not ready We're waiting for a friend. Okay. No, you're not I'm already look I went I didn't know you were waiting. I've had five drinks you Yeah, yeah, I do this is mark. Oh my gosh. You're on in a first-name basis with the cruise guy You've had five drinks already. Yeah, the doors like 15 minutes ago Yeah, okay. Okay. We're ready. We're ready mark ready to board on fire. Let me just look at your passport Okay, okay. It says your 511

Flower I thought that again. I thought that was a date. I did not know that was a height I thought it was a time of year. Okay, all right. It says you are a spruce tree. This is not helping Oh my god. All right, you're good. You have to walk up with so much confidence. Hello. My name is Momo the mouse with human strength I'm a mouse with human strength Um first time cruising long time interested. Um, can't wait to be aboard your boat mark Thank you. I have nothing to do with this boat. I don't steer it. I don't all I do is this Attitude, huh? No, I'm not

Not a captain. This is all I do you could be someday mark you're so good you're so good mark you have sort of captain like features Momo thinks you can maybe I don't know that's very nice that's very nice of you thank you I think if you try hard enough by the end of this night you could be steering this fucking ship thank you so much promise I'm gonna make that promise to you and to yourself, that by the end of the night, if you... Mark, Mark, if you don't have your hands on the ship's wheel,

we have failed you as your new friends. You're gonna make that promise to me and myself? Yeah. Okay, also, here's my passport. Gotta go, bye! Here it is. Whoa. Ah, fuck it. Come on on. Thank you. Oh, I told you guys Mark is the best.

Mark is the best. Oh gosh, okay, that was a very stressful start. Janice, I thought you were late. Of course you would never be late. Yeah, I would never be late. Early is on time, on time is punishable by death. That's what your mug says. And Flower, he did notice, by the way, that that passport was completely fraudulent.

Yeah, but he doesn't care. Can I tell you guys something? We really hit it off. You and Mark? We really hit it off. I'm not usually into guys. I'm not. Why?

But they gave me five drinks. Oh yeah, five drinks will turn you straight. Yeah. It wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't my least favorite. Did you guys kiss? What do you mean, did you kiss? I got to fifth base. How early were you?

Because when, a day and a half. Holy shit. Oh God. Also you were hanging out with the crew, like way ahead of the ship boarding. Yeah, there was a whole different round of passengers when I got here. You're really scared about being late. Yeah, that's not punishable by death.

I don't want to be late. Momo and Momo knows, but Momo's just wondering a flower knows what fourth and fifth base are. What are the bases? Well, so the first one, the first base, that's just kissing. Kissing. Yeah. The second base is butt stuff. Yep. The third base is front stuff.

Oh, it has not been doing this, right? Kissing, butt stuff, front stuff. Front stuff is third base. Fourth base, which a lot of people think misconception is the last one. It's not. It's not. Fourth base is front stuff. I thought third base was front stuff again base was it's a good it's twice because you got to do it on each other you know I mean okay wait so front stuff it can't be happening at the same time no I gotta alternate yeah

you gotta make sure because like if you're really getting in there and making sure that the front stuff is happening it can't happen at the exact same time is never both parties are not going to be getting exactly what they want at the same time Exactly, you're not concentrating You're only trying to figure out like oh my doing enough to make this happen for this person And are they doing enough to make this happen for me? It's too much thinking so two bases same thing alternating people And then fifth base is base is a handshake and you exchange business cards Yep, so I have marks business card if we want whatever we need. Okay Momo you

guys know this about Momo. Momo hasn't had a hookup in a year. I was hoping on this cruise to meet someone sort of make something happen but you just informed me that I don't know what I'm talking about and I guess I've never known. Well is it different for is it different for you cuz maybe that's not that's maybe that's Not how you do it flowers is different for you is like pistols and stamens and stuff Yeah, I mean like it's a lot of rubbing. It's a lot of like grinding, you know parts against each other But that sounds familiar. Yeah, the rules still apply just take any of your family Like we're talking about five bases, which is a standard number of bases right for a baseball so like if you're thinking

of like a normal baseball game there's at least five bases so just just apply whatever sport that you enjoy that they put on top of that are you into like diving then maybe it's just like one one situation. It's a jump in the diving. Is it like different platforms, like different heights of diving that you describe it as or is it still bases? Oh, that's a good question. Is a border base? Yeah. Yeah. One one is a border base.

That's the first question you ask yourself. The answer is yes. Then there's probably five of them. Yeah. OK, great. Far. Can I ask you a biology question that might be a little invasive of a question? I might not have an answer. Do you want to drink just in case it's too invasive? Yes, we should get a drink. OK.

I'll go get you. Ask your question. OK. Well, I'll say it loud so I can hear. OK. Well, this is going to be even worse. Flower, when you finish Yeah, what comes out is it like pollen or dirt or water? What what comes out flower are you ready? Oh god You not always the same, but if everything is going right... Speak up!

It's not always the same, but if everything is going right... It's bees. Bees?! It evolves quite according to plan. Honey bees or worker bees or drones or what? What kind of bees? Hold on, I'm coming back. It's bee's nuts! Bee. Did you say bee's nuts? drones or what what kind of bees hold on I'm coming back it's bees nuts did you say bees nuts I did yeah that's so good here this is not the first time I've

said that in my life I say that a lot so honestly sometimes again sometimes it's just a little bit of like a puff air air sometimes. It's just like a gentle Petal flies you know sometimes. It's pollen, but again best case scenario. It's fucking bees Wow Are you okay? Yeah, are you okay? Is this the kind of bees that sing Information Momo is choking. Her own breath over there. She can't get up off the ground.

Momo take a sip. Take a sip of this tropical drink I brought you. I can't breathe. Hold on. That's probably the sea air. It's probably the sea air. Flower flower. Yeah.

Okay. First of all, we've been friends for a decade and I cannot believe I didn't know you came bees Second of all gone that far down the basis. Yeah, we never have talked about the basis before this whole time We've been friends flower flower when you were a preteen right or and you were like Maybe touching yourself for the first time or whatever the first time you came whenever that was Freak did you scream on the top of your lungs when bees came out of you? Well does it hurt? Do we know that it hurts Momo? No it was a wonderful moment. There's a natural friendship between plants and bees. Okay so. I gotta say like first time it happened I just like looked down, looked up

and went bees! Were you prepared? Like Did you know that was gonna happen? Did you know that that's what happens? No, we didn't really talk about it in my family. You didn't get the birds and the bees talk from her? No. I can't wait for birds though, let me tell you why. That? Why is it birds and bees, you guys?

Isn't that messed up? Because it should be flowers. Because when flowers come, I guess sometimes it could be birds or bees. The question is who's coming birds? Who is coming? Some flowers, I bet. Somebody. Those things are huge. They're showing those words around, somebody's coming birds.

Could you imagine? I did hear once of somebody had a hookup with a plant, one of my friends, one of my buddies. And he said that she came a crow, like a full crow. That's awesome. There you go, and he said that she came a crow, like a full crow. Awesome. There you go. So someone's coming bird. Yeah. So, you know, when I asked a flower, what came out when she finished and you gave me a hundred guesses, I would not have said bees. Well, really again, sometimes you ask the questions and then you get the answers. What about you?

Where are you coming? Really? Out of a hundred though, you wouldn't have said bees at any point? I would never have said bees. Name a couple other things. What would you have thought? I thought dirt. I thought water. I thought pollen. I thought a smaller flower. Oh, that would be fun. Maybe I would have said bees. I'm telling you bees couldn't have been past the number 10. It just couldn't have been. I'm boring. I usually come, come.

Oh, okay. That's just how I do it. Sometimes it's cheese if I've been drinking. Oh boy. What? No, that's fine. I just, again, your whole reaction to my, I'm like, when you said cheese,

it just really, it send me somewhere. Yeah Yeah, actions. These are different. I mean yours was bees. Oh, yeah, it's not judgment I just really like had a visceral reflective like whoa Okay. Yeah, it's like a block of cheese. Oh full block. Yeah, of course. That's good You guys I got nice job. I gotta ask you questions. You did? When was the last, no I got to. Oh, no.

I got it. We're like you did? No I didn't. Okay, when was the last time, Flower, when was the last time that bees shot right out of you? And Momo, when was the last time you cheesed? I think it's been a while, you know? Yeah.

Yeah, nothing that I'm complaining about. Not every day can be a bee day. But like, sometimes when you're lucky, you know, you can get yourself a bee job. But, uh. It's not luck. But you know, I just don't. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I just also don't expect it. You know, it's just been, I've been chill. I've been fine. You know, it's like one of these days, it'll happen when it happens. Yeah. You've been focusing on your work mostly, Flower, from what we've been talking about. You're sort of focused on your job. Yeah, I'm focused on my newest endeavor, which is just like

Street magic. Oh Finally finally Flower that's so good. Yeah, I've been trying to do like close-up magic, but like it's very very close It's too close too close. Yeah invading people's personal spaces Like I'm almost inside your ear like just kind of doing pulling cards out So you can't even see like I don't have to be very good at it because you can't even see What's happening? You just trust the confidence which is why I got on the ship so clearly so flawlessly as I was I was convinced I was gonna mark was gonna

let me on that wasn't gonna be an issue it also could have been because I I did go to town with him that's right business card he went to town and back tell us about it okay we're asking about us and then I want to follow up and find out the last time the Momo cheesed But other than that, well, no, no, okay. Go go cuz this is so this is my question I'm a dry spell Momo hasn't cheesed it over here looking to cheese on this cruise That's me too. And now that that's out of the way I can just have relax except you know the thing of like When it's been a really long time and I keep been in a a dry spell, and then it happens, and then you're like,

oh, uh-oh, oh no, now I remember how fun this is. And then you would just wanna do it more, and that's the scary thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, I mean, that's like when you, I don't know, you can't deny yourself, but also, yeah, you can't put too much pressure on the moment, and it's just like, there's a lot around it

that makes it so complicated when it shouldn't be so complicated yeah Everyone has that friend who seems kind of perfect. For Patty, that friend was Desiree. Until one day I texted her and she was not getting the text. So I went to Instagram, she has no Instagram anymore and Facebook no Facebook anymore. Desiree was gone and she was not getting the text. So I went to Instagram, she has no Instagram anymore. And Facebook, no Facebook anymore. Desiree was gone. And there was one person who knew the answer.

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I have never seen you so relaxed. You guys, I made a choice. OK, I made a choice. I was like, we're going on vacation. I never am on vacation. Yeah, never. and so even when we went on our trip, you know, it's like I is never vacation This is vacation. I don't know if it's the water I don't know what it is, but I feel like I really am letting loose, you know You're wearing a bikini over your pants suit. That's right. I am really leaning in yeah

a bikini over your pantsuit. That's right. I am really leaning in. Yeah, because it's like, you know, it's not like about me getting any kind of sun because I don't care about that. No. Yeah. I'm afraid of it. But it is definitely about me being like, hey, this is me. I wear a pantsuit and I put I'll put some tight right on top of it. You know, this is why. Take it or leave it. Why are you afraid of the sun?

Oh, it just barely hurts, but it could really hurt my skin. Okay, that's fair. Yeah. It's hot. Have either of you been on a cruise before? Cause I have never. I've never, this is my first time.

I don't typically go out into depths of water for a long period of time Yeah, I've never been on vacation. So this is okay. Yeah. Well one time With Chunt and Arnie and Usador they told me I was going on a cruise They made it seem like it was vacation, but really we were on a pirate ship going to kill the Dark Lord Momo looked a fool. She was devastated. She had to wear flip flops for a battle. And that's canon. And that really happened. Here's the thing that's frustrating about that. Well, there's so many things that are frustrating about that, but I'm really sorry. Thank you.

The thing is, it's like that's not appropriate. You're like wearing resort wear. Exactly. To fight a battle. I was wearing a shirt that said one tequila, two tequila, three tequila floor for a battle. Right. That's humiliating. Yeah, that is. That is. And I was like, I'm never going on a vacation

with my guy friends ever again. That's done, ruined. And then that's what inspired me. I got to get my gals. We got to sit in the sun with our Mai Tais, read our books, gab and gab and gab. Yeah. Have a good time.

Yeah, I think I'm so sorry that happened. And like, let's let's fix that. Let's let's let's make a toast. OK. Pick up your coconut. Everybody pick up your coconut and let's just make a toast. And this one's just for us. Yeah. You guys are my. Oh, God, I don't.

You guys are my best friends. Don't you guys are my best friends don't you guys are my best friends Oh, I do it. I love you so much Do I love you guys so much I can't it's I can't If it feels like I'm coming bees right out of my mouth. I can't stop it stop All right, I'll stop. Okay, I'll stop.

No, keep going. It's so sweet. I love you guys so much. I love you too. I ate the coconut. Oh my God, flour, whoa. I was so thirsty. I ate the whole coconut.

That's gonna get you drunk way faster. Yeah, it's okay. I'll go get it. I'll go get us more. I'm worried about processing all this husk. Yeah, it's not good. Hold on. I'll be right back. I'm gonna go get us another drink. Talk loud. Okay, that was not I just I assumed because it was a fruit that it was an edible vessel. And I'm realizing I worked really hard to get through it. And that was not an edible vessel. Can I ask you another question about biology? Sure. Can I ask Flower another question about biology? Yeah. Okay. Flower, when you swallow another plant or like the seed of another plant, or like when you're eating watermelon and you eat a seed, does it grow sometimes like inside you? I know you're in a flower pot. Is this too embarrassing? Is this an offensive question? I'm so sorry No, I just couldn't tell if it was dirty or not

Like I was sort of like going down the road of like when you swallow and something seed and then I was just like We're a lot of times when you're talking about swallowing seed. It sounds different and dirty I hear that now and I'm aware of that now. Okay, um You know, I have not ever noticed anything. Like, if I have swallowed a seed or anything has gone into my person, I feel like it's just passed. But I don't really know. I mean, like, maybe there's something growing inside me that I haven't known.

Do you think there's something growing inside of me? Oh, no, Flower, I'm not trying to make you paranoid. You know more about your body than I do. Of course. I just was curious. Do I, do you think I have like a fucked up twin inside of me this whole time? That's possibly controlling my decisions and what I've done this entire time. Have there been times now I'm thinking if there's times that I've blacked out, is this a bad time for me to have returned with our drinks? These ones are in pineapples, don't eat the whole thing.

Okay, thank you for telling me that. Yeah, that would hurt. You're a friend, because I was going to do it. I've accidentally made Flower paranoid. I've scared her. Okay. I'm just a little concerned because I haven't. You ask a lot of questions I don't really think think about how my process or how things work often.

I don't think about it at all and that's canon. But I haven't thought about it and now I'm concerned because I feel like recently when you're asking me how I've been doing, it's like I feel like there have been periods of time where I've lost time. Oh my God, God. Like I don't know. Maybe I end up in a different location and I'm like how did I get here? Now I'm thinking back on it.

Were you drinking or anything? What was happening? What was causing? I've been guzzling. Seed is what I've been doing. Do you think that like maybe you're eating the seeds of these things and like then they're like growing inside you? So like maybe since you swallowed that coconut, then like a coconut will grow inside you and like take over your body for a moment. What are you doing? How do you coconut grows? You plant another coconut? No, no, a coconut isn't a seed for a coconut tree. Yes, it is. Of course it is.

We'll never know. Flower, you're fine. That's how you know. What are you doing? When you want to have an apple tree, you put an apple in the ground. Flower, you're fine. That's how you- Mama, what are you doing? When you want to have an apple tree, you put an apple in the ground. No, not a whole apple. Yes, a whole apple. Just the seeds. Just the seeds.

Why? I don't know. I didn't invent it. See, you don't know. I know you just put the seeds. Let's test this, okay? Let's get a seed. Flower, you'll eat it, and we'll see if anything happens.

Okay. Why don't you- look, ask this guy right here. Ask this guy if he knows. Not that men know, but like, what, ask him. What, you need something? Yeah, you are wearing a doctor's coat. So I assume... I'm a doctor. Wonderful.

It's an honor to meet you. Wait, PhD or MD? I'm a medical doctor. Okay. Didn't answer the question, though. But I have been disbarred. Disbarred? For what?

From doctor-dom. From being a lawyer? Okay. Well, I was a lawyer, too. I was also a lawyer at one point. Okay, so you've been disbarred? I think I speak for everyone when I say, please write a book. Yeah. What I'm doing out on this cruise is considering writing a book about my life where I was a lawyer and then a doctor and what does it happen when I've been, because I have been removed from being a doctor. Is that also

not being disbarred from doctordom? I think you just lose your license. Yeah. I've been de-licensed. Well, was it for doing something weird or for not knowing enough? Because if it was for doing something weird, then we're in the clear. Yeah, I'm always doing something weird.

What weird shit did you do? Because I am, I have to report, I'm so many different things. So I could arrest you, I'm I'm I'm so many different things. So I might I could arrest you. I'm a judge. You're on vacation. Mayor. You're also on vacation. Oh, wait. Is this International Waters?

Yeah. I have no authority. OK, tell me whatever. But if it's seriously messed up, I'm going to take you the hell out. I will. OK. OK. In a fun way. No, it was pretty normal. Run to the mill stuff. That you got disbarred and lost your license for.

Listen, when I would put bodies under anesthesia, I would then make them high five. Okay, that's actually a lot of fun. That's it? Yeah, that's so cool. Yeah, it was pretty cool, but eventually I caught on that I was constantly high-fiving bodies while they were under anesthesia. And people don't like that, especially when that's not what was the procedure that was

being done. It was not a high-five procedure, you know? Yeah, that'd be cool. Does that procedure exist? Because I want to have it done. That'd be so cool. Yes, but you don't have to go under for that. Okay.

Well, okay. So why did you start talking to you? I'm forgetting. Oh yes, yes, I do remember. Judge, doctor, lawyer. What do we call you? Neither. I'm actually neither of those things anymore.

I'm just a guy. Okay, guy. Listen, our friend, this is our friend, Flower. What's going on? And okay, so she's a flower. So we were wondering if she eats seeds or something. And I'm sorry, I've had so many drinks. Momo finish it.

Okay, if she eats the seed, does the seed start to grow inside of her because she's organic material and she has dirt in her? Does it start to grow inside of her and can it take over her body for a day? Could she experience blackouts? I'm not sure how familiar you are with flower and plant anatomy, but that's our big question. It's not really my expertise, but I will say that I can imagine if a seed has entered a plant, given the right conditions it could grow, and as for what happens for there, I just don't know.

This is out of my realm of understanding. Okay. Okay, thank you. Well, you've been no fucking help at all. I'm so glad we got your whole fucking backstory and everything, and I hope you fall off the goddamn boat. Flower, I would say that's extreme, but actually that feels fair.

It feels right. Walk away from us, sir. That guy was just a waste of our fucking time. Also loosen up, you're on a ship. Yeah, relax, have a coconut, idiot. Why was he wearing a doctor's coat and suspenders? We'll never know. With swim trunks underneath,

we should have known actually, we should have known. Suspenders on swim trunks with a lab coat? Oh brother. I will say that is the general vibe of this cruise. I know we didn't have a ton of money. Even though Flower's bringing in a good amount of business from her street magic business. We went for a discount cruise.

So there's gonna be a lot of colorful characters, a lot of discounted food. Just so you know, it's not the highest end cruise that we're gonna get, but it is a cruise. Wait, wait, I forgot. What? Because it was a discounted cruise, we weren't assigned cabins.

You were supposed to pick your cabin, like when you ran on, you had to go claim it. We didn't claim any, Jane Assa, please tell me that you claimed a cabin. Guess what, motherfuckers? Oh, thank God. I forgot it was dibs. They said dibs policy on the ticket.

That's right. Guess what I got? That's why I'm seeing chairs everywhere. I got us the three best cabins I could find. They're still kind of crappy because it's on this cruise line, but we all have balconies. We got full ass, there's so many cool things in there.

They're dirty because it's a crappy cruise line but we got a lot of stuff in there. Please tell me are they connected with doors in between because I'm gonna be honest like I thought we were all gonna sleep in the same room but we're all gonna have different rooms. I just need to know that I can access you. Of course you can. It's one big, but we all have our own sleeping arrangements And flower usually when we go on vacation together you steal my stuff for sport Are you planning on doing that this vacation? Listen stealing it for sport is one way to put it I just I just think that like you got some cool shit. I take a look at it

I forget where that I am what I'm looking at. Okay, this is the kind of shit. I take a look at it. I forget where I am what I'm looking at. Okay This is the kind of shit. I'm talking about. Do you think like I'm Though I feel like you're using this whole scene thing as an excuse for some of your poor behavior flowers Who knows how that happened or like where I ended up and then all of a sudden I'm just like swimming in your shit, and I didn't even realize I took it. I can't make any promises Alright fair enough. That seems suspicious. Okay, let's be real.

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What's up? Look over there. Huh? Look over there. What? Oh yeah, look over there. Look right over there. What is it? There's somebody looking you up and down.

Is it the guy with the lab coat and suspenders or someone normal? It's someone normal. Oh my God, shut up. They're looking right now? Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna go check on them. Okay. I'm gonna go check on them. Okay. I'm gonna go check on them. Okay. I'm gonna go check on them. Okay. There's so many looking you up and down. Is it the guy with the lab coat and suspenders or someone normal?

It's someone normal. Oh my God, shut up. They're looking right now? Yeah. Okay, are they my type? Tell me everything. Flower, what do you think? I mean, as far as your type, I can't say.

I mean, I've dated a banana. I've dated a tall glass of water. I've dated a GI Joe doll. The hue is not great. And I know I should have known, right? Nothing but red flags. But he was hot. This is I know I should have known, right? Nothing but red flags. But he was hot. This is a bird.

Yeah, there's somebody bird. Oh my god, it's a bird? It's a bird. Is it a seagull or is it a pigeon? What are we talking? I don't know the difference. Okay, let's try. Between a seagull and a pigeon?

Isn't a pigeon just a water seagull? That's the opposite. Isn't a seagull just a water pigeon? Isn't it? I guess. They seem like very different sizes. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, go over there.

I've never been on the water. Go over there. I've never been on the water. I've never been on the water. I've never been on the water. I've never been on the opposite. Isn't a seagull just a water pigeon? Isn't it? I guess. They seem like very different sizes. Yeah. Okay, go over there. I've never been on the water. Wingman me. I didn't mean to make that joke, but that's funny because if he's a bird.

Yeah, that is funny. Okay, go over there. Go over there and tell him I'm like really rich and famous or something. Okay. Okay, okay. So you hang here and look busy. What's going on? You look kind of, you just like a bird guy?

Oh hello, yes, I'm just doing my rounds. I am the ship's captain. Oh! What? Hold on one second, could you wait a second right here? Can you stay right here? Sure, yeah. Can you stay for a second?

Yeah, don't move. Holy shit, holy shit, my horse! What's going on? Is he a pigeon or a seagull? We don't know that part yet. That's why you went over there! I know, but we found out other information. Yeah.

Okay, you just said one thing and then you ran back over to me. This looks insane. What did he say? He's the captain. You shut up. You shut up. He is? Yeah. He's the ship's captain. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Your name is Williams? Yeah, and I am the captain of the ship. Anything else I can do for you, lady? Yeah. How come you're not captaining right now? Who's steering us right now?

Well, my first mate, of course. He's a crow. OK. OK. Cool. So Williams, sure. You have a lot of free time when you're not working. Like, what are you doing? Because we like we listen, we saw you checking out our friend you saw that yeah I mean I don't want to be a creep it's actually a very unprofessional of me but I just she looked familiar to me and I I thought maybe I don't know doesn't matter

no unfortunately I don't have a lot of free time because only me and my first mate know how to steer the ship. If only someone else was interested in steering it, huh? What? I wish I could think of anybody else that could steer the ship. Well, back up there. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Mark. Mark could do it.

Who's Mark? Williams, you don't know Mark. But Flower, Mark is the guy that I did five whole bases with was I here when we talked about that yeah oh geez don't do that okay well somebody else is controlling your body that's scaring me man I'm not sure anymore I'm gonna go I'm so scared I know you can do it right now I'm doing if it's true I'm scared wait wait Williams hold on hang tight I'm doing if it's true. I'm scared. Alright, bye ladies. See you around. Wait, wait Williams hold on. Hang tight. Where did he go? Where did he go?

Okay, okay, okay, okay listen. What the heck? What the heck? What the heck? You gotta get, you gotta, here's what's gonna happen. Tonight, we're gonna get you up to the captain's wheel. Oh my god. We're gonna make this thing happen. Okay, come heller high water. You're gonna make him come himself.

You are gonna make him come himself. Now, listen. Flower, it sounded like you thought, and you were sort of hoping that your brain would come up with a different way to end that sentence. And then you couldn't. Why would you say birds? Maybe, oh, what if birds come? Yeah, what if they, what if he comes fish or something? We don't know. Hey, Flower. Yeah. I'm gonna go talk to Mark, okay?

I'm gonna see if Mark can jump up there and steer the ship so that Williams can talk to Momo. Momo, are you into him? What do you think? I know, I'm freaking out. It's day one. It's the captain. Was he checking me out?

Cause you, was he interested? He absolutely was. Yeah. Oh my gosh. He said you looked Yeah. Yes. Oh my gosh. He said you looked familiar. Yeah. Oh my God. And he's, what kind of bird is he?

He's a seagull. He's a seagull. He's a water pigeon. Okay, that is every mouse's dream to have a fling with a seagull. Is it really? Yeah, of course. Of course.

All right, all right. Hey, Flower. Yeah? Stay in your body, okay? I'm gonna go talk to mark stay in your body for a minute be present of your flowers slap slap Don't leave us flowers stay with us You just got me tripping out with all those questions And I started question every fiber of my own goddamn being but I'm gonna stay with you This is what we're gonna do a good gonna triangulate we're gonna do this okay

yeah I got a plan yes girls you guys are my best friend don't do it I appreciate don't you do it! you're making this trip about your friend trying to get more confidence and it just means a lot to me don't you do it you got you have You deserve to have all the confidence in the world. Oh my god, it says. All right, we'll meet back here? Yeah, meet back here in five. Okay. Five. Okay. Love you guys.

I ate the pineapple. Oh my gosh. Damn it. Flower. We looked away for like a second to flower. I don't feel very good. I know you don't. Look at the shape of your body right now.

It is a coconut bottom, a pineapple top. The spikes are sticking out of your body right now. It is a coconut bottom a pineapple top It's the spikes are sticking out of your stem flower coconut bottom with the pineapple top purple top That's such a good song The whole cruise was looking at her She had the flowers She's drunk, flowers drunk

You go talk to Mark, I'll handle this Bees, bees, bees, bees, bees, bees. Wow, has there ever been a more impressive trio? Oh, right, the guys. Gia Nessa Railcaros was played by Dana Cersioli. You can listen to Dana on Those Who Ant. Everywhere podcasts are available. Flower was played by Brooke Bright.

You can follow Brooke on Twitter, at Brooke Bright, and check out her Twitch at twitch.tv slash Brooke Bright. Momo the Mouse was played by Aaron Keefe. You can listen to Aaron on Hey Riddle Riddle wherever you get your podcasts. This episode was produced by Matt Young. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, associate producer Anna Hoverman, special assistance by Ryan DeGiorgi. This episode was edited by Anna Hoverman, logo by Allard Laban, theme by Andy Poland.

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