Hello From The Magic Tavern - Patreon Unlock: Googanji!

Episode Date: August 3, 2026

Enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon! Will Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore survive a game of Googanji? Yes, they will. You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Want to gift someone a Magic Tavern Patreon membership? You can right now at this link!CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungProducers: Matt YoungAssociate Producer: Anna HavermannPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Stephen DrangerMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandNew T-Shirts in the Merch Store!Follow us on Bsky, Instagram and YouTube!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

King Arnie will be finishing up King's school soon. He's earning his degree before he makes a decree. I hear tell he's a natural at sitting on the throne. That means new episodes of Hello from the Magic Tavern will begin on August 17th. But in the interim, as we've completed the release of Offices and Bosses Season 2 from behind the paywall, you can listen to all the past seasons and the latest season, Season 5 of O&B, by becoming a patron today. to patreon.com slash magic tavern. Support this independent production

and receive many benefits like two new bonus episodes every month, even during the break, with over 100 bonus episodes available right now. Now, let's dip into that catalog of bonus

episodes to entice you, to continue enticing you to join Patreon. How about experiencing all the thrills and chills, of Foon's latest gaming craze, Guganji. Guys, guys, I'm so excited to record a Patreon episode, but what do we say at the beginning of Patreon episodes?

I feel like it's changed a few times. Well, Dingl Thigh used to say Patreon, Patreon, Patreon. But I think he got stuffed in a hole, or a whole stuff. Tim or something. I think they're, and none of these are in episodes, we didn't record this, but didn't like seven crazy things happen to Dingle Thy? Got stuffed in a hole. A whole stuffed him. A whole stuffed him. That was the second thing.

A whole stuffed him. Two. Wait, are these good all, are we going to get three and a half things? He found his real mother. Three. He flew to the moon. Four. Is that what she was?

Yes. I did those out of order. These are not in order. Okay. That's, that's, are these all in. Reverse order? Yes. He flew to the other moon.

Five. So he started with the other moon and then went to the moon. It's always in the other moon. It's always in the last moon you love. That's true. I always say that, Arnie. He got a big pizza. Six.

Some of these are not so great. You got a big pizza? Well, you eat a pizza, Arnie, and the pizza reminds you of the moon, and then you go to a moon. Yeah. And think how big dingle thigh is, too. It's a big pizza. That's a big deal. He's tiny.

Can you imagine if you were walking around on your pizza? You can? Oh, yeah, I wasn't listening to what you're saying. Do you ever know sometimes I will just make agreeing noises? I'm usually not listening when I do those things. Uh-huh. What was the seven fucking thing, Eustador? Oh, he found the mystical sword of Galathine.

Seven. So he celebrated with a pizza. Yeah. Big fucking pizza. Huge. We're going back down, sir. We're going back down. Sorry, I went the other way again.

So do we want to go back to just saying Patreon motherfuckers, or do we want to establish a new way, a new delightful way that we begin these Patreon episodes? I think Chunt should do it. I have an idea. Oh, Charny. This is your time. This is your time.

Okay, don't blow it. Don't blow it. Artie, you say, uh, no. Shit. Oh, you blew it. You blew it. Huh.

Arny, you say pay. I say tree. And you store says on. Ready? Pay. Tree. On. Oh, my God.

And then maybe. Oh, my God. It says it worked. Can I only add one thing to it? At the end, we all then say Patreon together. Just one more thing for us to fuck up, basically. Okay. Okay.

Ready? Ernie? Yeah. Pay. Tree. On. Patreon. Wow.

That's super. I kind of like that. Yeah. That's sort of like a water wheel company. Did you notice how quickly we did that compared to the macaroys? How long does it take them? Every year. It's just.

gets longer and longer. What do they say? Oh, who, coming up with some theme for the th, it's the whole thing. Are we going to remember this next time? And not important, but, oh, I almost forgot. This is the thing I'm excited about. I was digging through some of the shelves in the back of the parissocial, the tavern,

that we do Patreon content in. Why do we come over here? It just seems special. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Don't you like to have a certain bar for a certain crowd? Like, you're one group of friends.

You go one place. You're, like, fan. family, you go another place. Oh, yes. It does feel like when we do the patron, when we were doing the patron in the other bar, I'm constantly looking around to be like, who are we going to interview? Yeah, forgetting that we're doing a patron. Yeah, and here's the thing.

Everyone in the parissocial would not be good to interview. Oh, yeah. Let's riddle off some of these nearedwells. Dingle thigh. Dingle thigh. Number one. Terrible interview. Minksy, dinksy, dinksy.

Wait, also, I'm going to, fuck, I got to write some of these. down. Because you know, March Magic isn't... You can look right over there. They're right there. That's true. March Magic is not so far away. Minksy-Dinxie, you say. Um, head a lettuce justice. Head a lettuce justice. Okay. There was Minksy-Dixie's mother who passed away. Skidemarink. Oh, no. Sad. So sad. Let's see. Uh, Garrett. Garrett. Yeah. Don't want to interview Garrett. Oh, there's that pile of laundry. Yeah. But it can talk, though. Yeah, it's sentient.

Oh, yeah, it's a terrible curse. It doesn't, it doesn't have anything interesting to say. It desperately wants to be cleaned and freed of its torture. Let's see. Gary Hole. Gary Hole, the Glory Hole. Yeah. This place is terrible.

A lot of his stories aren't fit for audio. Even for our show, even our show. This place fucking sucks. Now there's dirty laundry. It hasn't been cleaned ever. Because we can focus on the three of us and not be tempted by the, you know, salacious fruit of interviewing any of these freaks. It's true. But anyway.

No, fuck you. These guys suck. Gary. Gary. You really shouldn't say that. Exactly. I mean, consider. I think about it what you're saying.

Yeah, Gary Hole. Although, you know what? I love everything Gary Hole's been in. always the best part of whatever always the best part of everything one bar so anyway I was I was like

rummaging through the shelves in the back which probably I shouldn't do we don't know in this tavern rummaging great word and I found a copy of a game we've been wanting to play I said on the table Guganji Gugongi

Gugongi Gunggi The more we say it, the less we can say it. The Panganji. Gagongji. Gagongi ghii ghii gaii gaii. The Pandaanamakan told us about this game, this incredible board game that sucks you into the game. Not to be confused with Gary Hall.

Sorry, I'm just so excited. Don't confuse it with Gary Hol. Yeah, don't give you. I hear you. So, how do you start, have you read the instructions? No. Because one, I did want to get ahead of my head. I want to share this experience with you two, and also, I hate reading instructions.

Who's going to teach us the game then? Same. Here, let's open the box. Ooh, this is a big wooden board. Is there a pop and lock? Sometimes there's just a pop and lock you can watch. Oh, wait, there's like a little, there's like a little image of a guy appearing. Hi, did you want to play Gagai?

Yes. Yes, please. Yes, please. Okay, I'm hearing yes. Is that correct? Yes, we would like to play Guganji. Correct is correct, yes? Correct.

Oh, yes. Are we not saying it right? Do we have to confirm the confirmation? Correct. Correct. Great. Here's what you need to know about Gagongi. Okay.

One, it's pronounced Gungi. Wait, he pronounced it wrong and then corrected his own pronunciation. What the fuck was that? He said Gugongi and then he says it pronounced Guganji. I can do that because I'm in the game. That's fair. Are you in the game? No.

No. Is this pre-recorded or is he talking to us? I'm hearing a lot of nos. Can you confirm no? In correct. Can I confirm no is yes? I can't do that. All right, it's almost time.

Do you have shoes? Can I ask a clarifying question? I have shoes. I'm not wearing them. I'm hearing a lot of nose. Is that yes? No. Arnie, I don't have shoes.

I just have a little badger paws. Wait, wait, there. Guys, there's a little. hovering in the corner above this dude's head. I'm going to click it to skip the toy. Did you want help with the X? I see you hovering over the X. Did you want to help the X?

If I press this, can we skip talking to you? If you press the X, I die. Oh. Oh, already, I'm okay with it. Yeah, that's fine. We've done worse. Okay, I'm hitting it. Boop.

Tell my wife, I love her. He was married. Who's your wife? Oh, wait, there's another image appearing. Oh, no. Oh, no. His wife. Oh, no.

You've just killed my husband. Would you like to play a Gagongji? There's a pre-recorded thing about killing her husband? I guess we're supposed to tell you that your husband loved you. Yeah. I'm hearing my husband loved me. Yes. Is that correct?

Yes. Yes, correct. Thank you. Can you confirm that my husband loved me? I mean, I can confirm that he said it. Confirm it. Yes. It's hard to quantify love.

Yes. I'm hearing it's hard to quantify love. I agree. Please press the X above my head. Okay. Is this going to, wait, wait. Is this going to kill you? Oh, no, I pressed it. Oh, there's a little image of a kid appearing.

Hello, welcome to Gugongu. I'm going to hit the X. Whoa. Cool. So much child death. I mean, that wasn't going to go anywhere good, right? Yeah, I don't think so. I mean, it was adorable, but Gunguie, I mean, I don't know.

Even I know it's not pronounced. that way. They're just instructions, right? Yeah. Well, look, there's some words written around the edge of the board. Hmm. If you are reading this, you are close to playing Guganji. Okay. Dot, dot, dot, dot. So close to playing Guganji. Your first test is to kill the three instructioneers. Oh, hell, that's good. We're doing good. We're already winning Gugangi. Oh, dot, dot, dot. They will appear shortly. Uh-oh. Wait, are we doing this out of order? I'm just looking around the box now.

Is there... Okay, there's some tokens, there's some dice. There's a little, like, wooden elephant. There's a wooden car for some reason. There's like a pith helmet. There's a wooden bat. There's a coin. I can't tell if this coin is part of the game

or someone, like, tried to replace a part of the game with a coin they had in their house. There's a little sack Has an X on it There's a thimble Okay are we writing this all down Oh I guess it's in front of us So we don't need to write down

The things we can see We'll remember to look at it Turn the timer and the time will turn Grab each hand And start to yearn Okay let's let's all touch hands I guess Okay okay And let's wait wait hold on

Where does it say we gotta touch hands Is that He literally just said Oh, it did? It's on the edge of the board. Okay, I'm not really... I'm not really listening. And I guess we all...

We have to yearn to play, so it's all... It's all... It's only... It's really... So... Yeering is so performing. Oh, wait. Oh, whoa.

I think I'm getting sucked. I think I'm going to sucked in. Oh, Gary hold. Gary, Gary, Gary. Gary, get the fuck out of here. Gary. Not right now. Oh, wait.

Okay. Hey, wait. I found a little pamphlet. It says quick start. rules. Oh, perfect. Okay. It says, just go for it.

And then it says you'll figure it out. Okay. And then on the back, there's just a shrugging guy. Is it the guy we killed? It is the guy we killed. Or related. Like the guy we killed. Like an uncle?

Instructions can have twins. Yeah. I'm going to roll the dice then. Said, just go for it. Okay. A lot of times to roll dice. Yeah, you go first. I got a six.

and a monkey's face. Is that six? I'll just roll again. Here we go. Yeah, yeah. I got a three and a crystalline Ariana Grande.

What? Looks like a small crystalline ariana Grande. Huh. Looking at the dice, there's no other way to describe that. You're right.

I don't know what to tell you. It's a multifaceted gem in the shape of Ariana Grande. Yeah. That first one might have been a gorilla face, though. It's hard to tell. But that is definitely

a crystalline ariana grande. Also, So is that a three? Oh, it could be an E. Could be an E. Could be an E. Or an M. Is the problem we're too sober?

Do you guys want, what do you guys want drinks? I'll get something from the bar. Well, let's see. I told the bar that we're going to be playing Guganji, so I guess they're doing like some themed drinks. Oh. So I will take a... When did you get to do that? Earlier?

I don't know, man. Earlier? Yeah. You've been here since I showed you the board. Wait, did you plant this board? board in the back shelf? What? Did I plant this board? Because if you did, thank you. I'm excited to play Gugangi.

I will take a Gugongi and tonic. Okay. Not a Gungany? No, because I don't think that's what we think it is. Okay. The bar is just trying to make some money off us. It just kind of sucks, but I guess it's savvy. I'm going to have a rhino-negroni.

A rhino-nagroney? Oh, actually, I'll take an a Ariana-nagroney. and Ariana Groney. Okay. I'm gonna switch mine. I'll do, hmm. Yeah, tell us now before you head up, just so we know. Yeah, we want to know.

I'll do sex on the gougonni. Oh, fuck. Wait, say that one more time? Are you sure you read the menu right? I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna say any of these right to the bartender. Gungonguni. Hey, you guys, look, the board. It's turning red.

Oh, wow. I'm not, you know, I'm not going to say any of these right. to the bartender Guganguni. Hey, you guys, look, the board. It's turning red. Oh, wow. It seems, oh, is it just my imagination, or is it getting, like, not hot, but, like, it's angle. It seems angry.

Yeah. Maybe it's how you pronounce the name. Is the first step to playing Gungi to say it correctly? Oh, much like our intro, Patreon. Let's all say Gugong, Gung. Gungi on three. Ready? One, two, three. Guganji.

Gunganji? No. Okay, let's say Guganji altogether. One, two, three. Guganji. Okay, it's sort of a reddish purple now. Whoa. Oh, fuck, help.

This monkey. There's a monkey. There's a monkey on shot. Oh, hey, hey, okay, hey, wait. Shoot, shoot, how? What the fuck? Is that part of it? Was that part of the game?

Do we do it? Are we doing it? Are we playing it? But you sir, you rolled the monkey. He bit me six times. What number did you roll? I rolled a six. Let's see.

And then I got an- Arellanda Grande going to come and bite me? Well, I got an E and a crystalline gem. Ariana Grande, yes. Oh, now I'm just really trying to think. Do any of us do a decent Ariana Grande voice? Well, how we're thinking on that, Should I do something about these monkey bites?

They're pretty deep. They are very deep. I suppose you could fill them with plaster. Try to like, like when you're moving out of an apartment. You've got to be bitten by animals all the time, right? What do you usually do? Me or a chunt? Well, both of you, honestly.

You go first, chunt. Well, I've bitten Yusidor for sure. Oh, yeah. I guess they're usually like love bites. Not in the way you think, Arnie, but more of just like, you know, of getting all riled up and playful. I see. But I'm not trying to hurt nobody.

These were like painful. This thing was attacking me. Is this game dangerous? Oh, it could be. Yeah. Wait, yes. What do you mean could be? I got bit six times.

Got bit by monkey six times. The fuck we're talking about could be. Is it dangerous? I got bit by monkey six times. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen. Is it possible? Is it possible?

This game is dangerous? A monkey jumped out and bit bit. He just got bitten. I'm not talking about, you're fixating on the monkey. I'm not talking about the monkey. I'm bleeding. I'm not talking about the monkey.

What I'm saying is, is this game dangerous? I'm going to roll. Look, we're playing Guganji now. If you get bit by an animal, the best way to take care of that is to pee on it. He's been all over the place.

So go pee on him. Me? Yeah. I haven't had a drink yet. Oh, I thought you already were going to go order drinks. Okay, I'll go get. Everyone wants go, go, go, go. You roll, chunt.

All right, I'm going to go ahead and roll here. Okay, I got a six and a badger. Oh. Whoa, my wounds. They're healing. Oh, that's perfect. Hell yeah. Nice, I done.

Roll again. Okay. The dice are kind of retreating from my hand. Oh. I think that means maybe the E-Ori-A-Grande thing is unresolved. Oh, okay. So what could E stand for? It could be a three.

It could be an E. Yeah. Well, your first role attacked me, and I'm sitting to your left. So I'm guessing your second role would attack Arnie? Or maybe not even attack. Right. Maybe E means east. And technically, Arnie was sitting east of you. Mm-hmm. Maybe it's a directional thing. I don't know. We'll have to wait for him to get back. I got the drink. I got the right thing. I'm not 100% sure. I got the right things. Here's a goof troop, a goon cup, and a Gutenberg Bible? I'll take the Gutenberg Bible. I do not want the goon cop.

So I'll take the goof. I'll take the goon cop. Fine. Oh, look, Ruth, Ruth, baby Ruth. What did I miss? Did you guys figure out if this game is dangerous? Yeah, we found out that everyone rolls twice and it's to affect the other players. So I was affected obviously by the monkey.

Did you feel anything beginning with an E and having to do? with a crystalline Ariana Grande? Hmm. Did that maybe happen while you're at the bar? Yeah. Something beginning with an E. I mean, I guess I was thinking about Ariana Grande,

a crystalline Ariana Grande, because we were already talking about it. Would you say you were empathizing with her? Yeah. Whoa. It's got to be tough. People saying that you're mostly just copying Kristen Chenowitz's role,

like the way she did that performance. But I think she did a good job. So, yeah. What performance? What job? Kristen, who? Oh, I don't want to talk about Earth stuff. Now, do you think that was part of the game, or just something that was happening in your brain?

I mean, I don't know. I was just thinking. And to be honest, I don't even know if I was thinking it until you said it. Do you ever do that? Someone's like, were you thinking about raspberries? And I'm like, maybe I was thinking about raspberries. No. Oh, Arnie, the dice are trying to jump into your hand, so it looks like that's... Okay, but I only rolled once.

I healed myself. Or maybe if you're injured, you just roll one. So, Arnie, you go ahead and roll. Oh, there you go. We're figuring out the rules. Arnie, roll. All right. Whoa, the dice keep bouncing back into my hand.

I swear. I'm trying to... What the fuck? They'll leave my hand, but then they bounce back into my hand. Oh, look, the little wooden car is driving all over the place. Oh. On its own volition. We're going to go.

Okay. He's really zooming around. Oh, it's... It's honking at you, Arnie. Hey, Carr. I'll try to throw these dice at it. Oh, my God. Oh, Arnie, it went right through the windshield,

and there's two little things getting out. Oh, no. They're sort of like little pegs. Like, remember when we played Life the game? They sort of look like those, but alive. And bleeding. Yeah. Oh, so much blood.

You wouldn't think so much blood would fit into those little pieces. Yeah. Arnie, forget about it. It's Gunganji. Aren't we supposed to be sucked into this game? Isn't it the whole point that the... I mean, I'm enthralled, so I guess I am sucked into it. Yeah, I'm very engaged.

I'm invested, for sure. Don't you ever have anxiety when you're playing a game and you're like, am I playing it right? Oh, sure. It's very stressful and sometimes you feel like the onus is on you as the greatest wizard and all of food to know everything to know everything. And so everyone's looking to you saying, you're about to use it or surely you know how to play. Surely you know the rules. surely you'll keep us on the straight and narrow path,

and I say to myself, I am also but a student here learning the ways of Guganji, and always wishing that some path would open before me that would lead to clarity and perhaps a direct path to literally be inside of the game. Did anything happen when I kind of talked a lot? Sometimes when I talk a lot, stuff happens. I'm going to try this. I'm going to put my drink,

the goof troop, On the board. Okay. It was sucked into the board. It's gone. Whoa. All right. Get your fat asses up on the board.

So do we... All right. Here we go. You got to stand on it. Yep. Get up on it. I don't... We're so close.

You're right. We're like too close to each other trying to stand on this board. Okay. One of the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Arny, you go first. Okay.

Okay. Gungi. Let's see. Oh, maybe you have to say, like... Suck me. Yeah, exactly. And you got to say it like you mean it. You kind of just said Gungi.

I'm not going to say suck me and... Say suck me, Gungi. Yeah, no, fine. Let's not play. You're right. Let's not play. Okay, let me just pack up the game. Suck me.

Suck me? Oh, you know what? Someone's going to clip this audio. I just know it. Oh, maybe you have to say somebody. Suck me. Do we have like audio emoji in the discord? Suck me is just going to...

I like Chutz idea. Do what Chunts in. Yeah. What did you say? Somebody suck me. Arnie. Just say, somebody suck me. Okay.

You do not want to suck in there. It's not working. Maybe it's just me. Maybe the game hates me. Maybe. Maybe. You don't throw those dice at that car. Oh, let's see.

All right. I'm getting off the table. Okay, okay. Let me hop up here. Maybe I have to close my eyes. I'm gonna think Guganji Guganji Somebody suck me

Oh Oh Guys, I'm like I'm up to my waist in the board Yeah you're kind of like What the fuck Hold on to our hands So if you get sucked into Gungi

We get sucked into Gugangi Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah yeah I'm parenting How does the bottom half of you feel Wet? Does it feel like It feels wet

Yeah Wet Huh Something's biblings Because on the board It's mostly woods. Right. Are you like wet like you're damp, but you're surrounded by air, or you're submerged in water? It feels, it feels pretty submerged, and there's something nibbling on. It's

not biting, but it's curious. It's nibbling. Like a little fish. Maybe it's a little fish. Can your feet feel my drink? Huh? My drink that got sucked into the game. Yeah, feel around for the drink. Okay, let me just move my toes around, okay? Or are you in my drink. Oh, I might be in your drink. Was there any sort of garnishes in your drink? Like a fish? There was a fish. There was a little tiny piranha.

They said that it's not dangerous though because it's so small. Oh. I do feel a prana. And there's maybe like a toothpick with a cherry on it. Was that in your drink as well? Yes, all the way. Sounds like there.

In the drink. Yeah. All right. I have an idea. Little fish. Little fish. Let us in. Little fish, little fish, let us in. Guys, I'm... Hello, guys? Yeah, we can just see your snout is still poking out of the top of the board.

I'm in the drink. Whoa, I'm in the drink. Okay, can you see anything? Can you see out of the drink? Can you see, like, are you in the land of Guganji? Um, I can't really tell. It's all kind of warped. I see a fish.

I see a toothpick with a cherry. Uh-huh. Um, did I win? Oh. No. It seems like maybe the drink's stuck and Chunt is stuck. They're both stuck. There's an X above the fish.

Let me go ahead and press that with my foot. Uh-oh. Okay, he's dead. Oh, no. Okay. No, be very careful. It seems like a wife fish. Let me hit the X there.

Kid fish, let me hit the X's. Be careful what you press. There might be an X above you. Whoa. Yeah, be careful. You know what I'm looking at the box now? And Gagongi is in quotation marks. Should we be concerned about that?

You didn't get to. knockoff or something? Yeah. Shit. There's no trademark on it. Arnie, this is just like when you had us play Manupoli. I still haven't forgiven you.

Can you do that? Can you just put quotation marks around something? Get out of trademark law? I guess so. Someone could start, Hello from the Magic Tavern. Or even hello from the magic Travern. T-shirt available now. This might be a knockoff.

Gunganke. All right. I'm going to push your little snout all the way in there. Okay. Okay. And then you tell us what happens if you can keep talking to us. If not, we'll get you out. Okay.

Can you hear us? I don't think you can hear us. Okay. Okay. Get your fattice up on that board. Me? Okay. I'll try again. Climbing up on here is not easy. Okay. So, wait, what did you want to say?

Somebody suck me, Guganji. All right, fine. Get out of the way. Fine. If you're going to be so resistant. I don't think this game likes me. Time for me to get my fat ass up on that board. Here we go. Is it because I'm wearing shoes? I'm the only one wearing shoes.

Oh, yeah. They asked you if you had shoes. They never specified you're supposed to be wearing them. Somebody suck me. Is it because I'm wearing shoes? I'm the only one wearing shoes. Oh, yeah. They asked you if you had shoes.

They never specified you're supposed to be wearing them. Somebody, suck me. Oh, oh, Trunt. Hi. Ah, you look familiar. What's your name? Oh, it's me. Usador.

Don't you remember me? That name sounds so familiar. How long have you been here? 800 years, and I am king now. I am king of Gungi. Fuck! Oh, we fucked up real bad. I'm just kidding.

It's been like a minute. Okay, good, good, good. But I am king here. They put a little crown on me. Oh, that's nice. If Arnie gets in here, you've got to pull that same. Wait, what? Is he saying something? Yeah, that's how you guys sounded earlier.

It just sounds muffled. Is he doing a bane impression? What's going on? Maybe he has to say, like, you were sucked, but I was born in it? Keep trying. Please introduce me to some of your friends. Okay.

This here, this is Kunky. I am Kunky, and I am the kingmaker. I brought the crown to Chunt. Oh, that's wonderful. He's just going to say that, that's Kunky. He made me king, obviously, as he just kind of said. Well, very nice to meet you, Kunky. How long have you been here?

I have been here for 800 years. And I have always wanted to pass the crown to someone else, so that I may be free I've been trapped in this game for long as Chunt lied about Okay That's right You saw a lot of the

I think almost everyone I've met here mentions that they've been trapped in the game And I met a lot of creatures in a minute Wow They're all kind of lining up here So Kunky, take care We'll see you soon Okay bye

This is Ella Funky Hello Ella Funky tell Yusador My friend Usador your story I'm all funky. I'm a funky elephant. I got sunglasses. I can see that.

Do I have to write that down? I got a keyboard for a snout. Okay. How's that working out for you? Honestly, it's not great. I mean, it's cool at first, but when you're trying to sneak into things, it makes this noise.

It looks cool. Seems like a real pain in the ass, though. Hard to keep clean. Right, sure. But ironically, it's the black keys that are hard to keep clean, not the white keys. You would think that the white keys would seem dirty, but it's the black keys. I don't think I want to keep talking to you. Get out of here.

Have you ever to wait? No, no, no, no. You're good. No, no, no. I've been here a hundred years. I've been here a thousand years. Okay, this is another person I met. This is Ariane Kri-Grunky.

Oh, hello, Ariana Grunkey. Hello. this we have two heads we have two heads we have two heads we are so happy to meet you you you have a lovely singing voice

are you made all of crystals and gems as I see yes yes sorry sorry I was late on that one I'm up here I'm up here

I'm up here I'm up here I'm up here I'm up here I'm up here I'm up here okay Nice

No shit, what's that? It's honey! Oh! Oh! You made it in? Yeah, I just had to take off my pants and my shoes. But first my pants. I don't know why I did it in that order. I don't either.

That's impressive. Thank you. Do we have to start from the beginning of the line again? Yeah, grunky. Hey, grunky? No, no, no. I don't want to... Kunky? What was his name? Kunky?

It is me, Kunky. Kunky, that's right. Sorry. Arnie, this is Kunky King Monkey. He's been here 800 years. 800 years. I mean, Chunt the king.

I'm king now. I have the crown. Oh, you're king. Hey, stop pushing. Okay, this is Ella Funky. I'm not a funky. Yeah, all right. I'm a lot.

I think you get it. I think you get it. Move along. This is our Yunky. Okay. Then there was somebody here. There you go. There he is.

The pirate. The generic pirate. of Gungangi. That's right, this is generic pirate. Are you part of the game? Are you also trapped in the game? I both. I both trapped in the game and part of the game. I sail the seven trees.

What? You mean seas? No, it's a forest. How did you sail them then? You know, I kind of hopped around the top of them. And earlier you said, I a pirate? I assume you meant yes a pirate, but then you said, I sailed the seven seas. Does that mean yes, the seven trees?

I don't know when he's switching between I meaning yes and I meaning self. Right, right. Let's see if we can figure this out. This might be part of the game or this might just be like an annoying little tree. When I say I, I mean, I die. That's a bit more confusing. When yes say yes. Let's try this.

Generic pirate, do you have a peg leg? Do I. Do yes? Do yes. Yes, do. C. C. Wait, that could be C for yes.

This is confusing pirate. He might think the seven C's are the seven yeses. But he said, I'm a Orniton of basic Spanish. I do remember that. Agua. Miyamo chunt. What is an apple?

Poor, he taught. Not me, you've been a good boy, you can have a piece of candy, but I forget how to say it. Abuela. Abuela, yes, grandma. Or abolita, I guess. Generic pirate. Do we have to defeat you or something? I've been here 800 years.

What happened 800 years ago? We don't talk about it. It was a tragic time. Okay, well, we're on a podcast where people have to talk about stuff, and we have to get ready. We have to move on it. Are you recording this? All of it. You've already signed a release for it.

I didn't consent to be recorded. No, no, no. A minute. Generic pirate. My friend, you sort of just said, uh, the wizard here. He just said podcast. And then you said, are you recording? Which means you know what a podcast is.

Sure. Are there podcasts here in Gugungi? Yes. Chudh, here's what we should do. Now that we're trapped in this mystical world, we should create a podcast and send it back to fooom so that people will know what. This is such a good idea. In the magical mystical land of Gungi.

Why do you? We'll call it hello from Gungi. Okay. About five minutes ago, my friend. We already have a very popular podcast. Oh, what is it? Called Gugongi Save America. What's it about?

Yeah, what's it about? Well, you're lucky I did a report on this. What America means to me? Oh, no, he's... He's he unfolding... He's unfolding wide-ruled paper. All right. Okay.

America. Some chairs appeared. Easer, let's... Arnie, let's go ahead. I'm not speaking much because I'm really annoyed by this pirate. America. What, though, does it mean to me? America is wheat.

America is wheat. is the motor city. Arnie, is that right? I mean, I guess so. America could mean a lot of things. It's interesting he's saying what America means to me and not what America means to I. That makes me think that all the eyes were yeses.

Yeah. Because it seems like he would say me instead of I. Yeah. The me's of the Statue of Liberty. Oh, is he talking about the eyes as in the eyeballs? I think so. The movie Twister. Or maybe me's from like a wee?

Well, Guganji sort of sucks and I think we should get out of here. I don't, I kind of like the pirate. Do you? Artie, do you want to bring them back with us? Yeah. Domino's pizza. That's a bearer.

Come on. Let's all get out of here. Everyone, hold on to my robe. Saying Merry Christmas and not happy holidays. Kunky, come on. No, this guy sucks. Our yunky gunky. Oh, come on.

Telephone. No, Elefunk, no. Elefunk, no, you stay here. Okay, hold on to my robe. I forgot how I talk. You forgot how you talk. How I talk? All right.

I got your rope. Go, go, go, go, go. Goddesses. Hold my robe. Hold my robe. Goddesses now. Hear my plea from Guganji. Set us free.

Whoa. Whoa. I got reverse sucked. Yeah. Blown? You got blown? Oh, so happy to be back here in the parisotial. Oh, pile of laundry. It's been so long. Oh, Gary Hole, you old dog. Yeah.

And all the others that we remember. Yeah, I'm happy to no longer be surrounded by those annoying characters and being back to these annoying characters. Yeah, I think it seems brighter, more vivid. Yeah. Do you think we'll ever play Guganji again? Probably. No. I mean, I guess it's. people in the comments want us to play Guganji?

Kunky, what do you think? I think it would be great. Wait, shit, did he come with us? I just held on to Yusador's robe, like he said. And Kunky? Kunky, you have to be honest. You fell into the game. You're not part of the game, right? You're not lying to us?

No, no, I wasn't part of the original game. I certainly wasn't that wooden piece that's missing. All right. Well, I guess we're going to have to play Guganji again. Oh, finally we say something funny. But will we actually play Guganji again? Did Kunky really escape from the game? Well, the truth is...

But, what is that? Wait, do you sense it? It's the podcast feed sending its bizarre spells over the airwaves. Everyone take cover! Shant the Talking Badger was played by Adlerophy. Usador the Blue was played by Matt Young. This episode produced by Matt Young. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz,

Associate producer Anna Haverman, special assistance by Ryan DeGeorgie. This episode edited by Stefan Drainger. Logo by Allad Laban. Theemed by Andy Poland. Oh, there. We've survived yet another week of podcastual audio garbage. One way to support the show and find all the latest and greatest magic tavern merch is to go to hello from the magic tavern.dashery.com.

Many of the designs can be added to items besides just t-shirts. So get creative and create your favorite merch right now. And yet even another way to support this independent production is to become a patron at patreon.com slash magic tavern. By joining, you'll receive many benefits like a monthly newsletter, a quarterly meet and greet, early access to live events to new bonus episodes every month with over 100 bonus episodes available already,

and an ad-free version of the main feed, and enough budget for me to put together a search party for Kunky. Until next week, Fair listeners.