Hello From The Magic Tavern - Patreon Unlock: Offices and Bosses S2 Bonus: Blue Tiger Team-Up (Live from LA)

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon! The magical Blue Tigers play a special offshoot game Office Managed by Chunt. Recorded live at the Bootleg Theater in LA.You can support th...e show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Want to gift someone a Magic Tavern Patreon membership? You can right now at this link!Credits:Arnie, aka Dr. Egon Spengler: Arnie NiekampChunt, aka Office Manager: Adal RifaiUsidore, aka John Bastion: Matt YoungAzure, aka Bex Newapp: Zach ReinoCerulean, aka Winsom Winthrope: Jessica McKennaProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Garrett SchultzTheme Music: Andy PolandOffices and Bosses Logo: Allard LabanProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzNew T-Shirts in the Merch Store!Follow us on Bsky, Instagram and YouTube!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, it's me, Jesse Tyler Ferguson. In case you haven't heard, and I don't know how that's possible, you're obviously not seeing my Instagram stories, but I have a podcast. I know, I know, I know. I didn't think there was enough podcasts, especially podcasts hosted by actors. So here I am. It's called Dinner's On Me, and it's actually pretty special to me. It combines two things that I absolutely love, eating and connecting with people. So in each episode, I take an old friend or a new friend out to a fabulous meal and as we break bread, we dive into everything from imposter syndrome and mental health to being a new parent, navigating new relationships.
Starting point is 00:00:43 It's fun because you truly get to be a fly on the wall for some really intimate conversations. So please pull up a chair, join us. You can listen to Dinners on Me wherever you get your podcasts. As the next season of Hello from the Magic Tavern approaches, Chunt and I are considering how we may best serve his majesty, King Arnie of Northeastia, during his reign. But perhaps you should join our Patreon at patreon.com slash magic tavern and let us know through the discord, one of the many perks of being a patron,
Starting point is 00:01:22 about what roles you believe we should play in this new administration. But know that what air position I take, I shall continue to fight the forces of evil, such as Drip Fang, the Necromancer. Oh, who just happens to be our guest on the new, episode of Offices and Bosses Season 5 coming out this very Thursday. I'm playing Warhammer 40K, which is a really, like, a depressing battle game on my world that I don't really know anything about. But also, yes, I'm kind of named after that guy that allegedly ate people.
Starting point is 00:01:54 I wrote down a bunch of stuff of just some Warhammer 40K stuff written on this sheet because I just, it says like, yeah, in the grim darkness of the future, there is only war. Is that the thing that you're playing? Yeah, that sounds exactly right. Okay, yeah. Well, I've got incredibly too much knowledge of this topic written on the back of this sheet. So if any of that comes up, you know, just point at me, I guess, and I'll try to remember. Apparently, there's a lot of videos on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:02:27 These are all nonsense words, but they're inscralled on the back of this scroll. Right, we'll come back to you from Oahuahana. In the meantime, bask in the glory that is Offices and Bosses Season 2. This is a bonus episode, dropped very cleverly right in the middle of this season. Play on. Hello for the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from The Magical Land of Foon. I'm your host, Arne Neacamp.
Starting point is 00:02:56 If you're not familiar with a podcast, oh boy, I don't even know what to do. but about three-ish years ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago and the magical, fantastical land of food. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift and I use that to upload a podcast
Starting point is 00:03:22 I record every week here in the tavern the Vermilion Minotaur, where we all are now, in the town of Hogs' face, in the land of foon. The tavern is a little busier than usual tonight, which is odd because it's game night in the tavern.
Starting point is 00:03:51 But before we get to the game of offices and bosses, I have to bring out my co-host, Yusid or the Wizard. The simulator of magical delights, the power of chaos, champion. The elves no-me is fian-yallic. The dwarves noby is Sonan and Hoekstankis. And I am known in the northeast.
Starting point is 00:04:25 as Gassumanius may star. Gassumanius. And there may be other secret names. Oh, beware. Neer utter one of these names. Lest you wish lizards to eat your very corneas, yea, they shall leave
Starting point is 00:04:43 the rest of the eyeball intact. Focus in on the cornea and then poop where the cornea was. Why, though? Well, I had to train them to do something. Oh, sure. This is one of my secret names that's more
Starting point is 00:05:13 of a command to lizards. Oh, I see. Yusinor, it's good to see you. Oh, it's good to see you, Arnold. I don't think you've ever said that. How wonderful. Oh, what's a turn of events. You know, I just, I'm feeling relaxed.
Starting point is 00:05:30 I'm excited for a game of offices and bosses. Oh, yes, me too. And I don't know. Just seeing you come out here and just getting your profile as you were sidling up to the mic, I just felt like I was looking at David Crosby. Who is this? Who are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:05:50 He's a person on earth that I'm 80% sure I'm properly referencing. Usenor, I'm excited to play offices and bosses. For new listeners, who maybe we may have none of, ever again. Understandable. What is so appealing to you about playing offices and bosses? Oh, let me tell you, for there is no greater escape, no greater joy than to thrust yourself so deeply into a character, and to play it with such great fervor and excitement, I, that it courses through thine very fingers and through thine very toes. I, with this great excitement that doth burn thy very blood and boil thee from the inside out,
Starting point is 00:06:39 what a great joy to be trapped in such a magical world as ours and find solace in a boring dull world like yours I don't know I feel like it's possible to enjoy playing a character too much luckily I have no idea what you're talking about and you sort of I'm so surprised because usually when we play offices and bosses you you get all dressed up you cosplay as someone from Earth you spend way too much money on a costume entirely too much money
Starting point is 00:07:16 Why did you decide just to go with your regular wizard robes? Well, I must admit to you something bad happened to my costume. What happened? Well, usually I have my
Starting point is 00:07:30 fedora and my suit and my messenger bag. And we have Metamore who usually runs our games. I shrank them all down to the size of a pea. You even shrop... Shroth.
Starting point is 00:07:44 I didn't shrunk anyone. I shrank them. Did you even shrank that, like, block of wood that you just occasionally, like, look at and go, oh, no, more meetings. That's right. Even my favorite prop. My eye block.
Starting point is 00:08:01 I shrunk it down. Oh, and they're so tiny now. I can't find them in mine house. Although I'm sure Metamore is fine and probably take care of all of my stuff. You'll take care of it until I find him and regrow him to full size. Yeah, so Metamore isn't here today.
Starting point is 00:08:16 So we're going to do a slight break from a regular campaign and do a spin-off campaign. But the exciting thing is that gives Chunt a chance to be office manager. So ladies and gentlemen, I can hear the tavern having mixed emotions about that kind of power. I've got to say, I've experienced a direct attack from the Dark Lord, and this makes me more nerve. There is cause to be alarmed. Yeah. But please, my other co-host and tonight, the office manager, Chunt, the King of the Badgers. Offices and bosses, baby.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Chunk, you are all business. Yeah, yeah. Usually you come out, you dance around a little bit, you scurry on your little badgey hands and feet. Oh, I love it when you scurry. Well, scurrying on my hands and feet is reserved for Maggi Tavi. but this is offices and bosses Oh and that reminds me Should we have
Starting point is 00:09:27 Mundel the Grundle play the offices and bosses theme song? Yes We will in just a moment But first, notice anything new? Hmm No My eyes are up here My four eyes are up here
Starting point is 00:09:43 Oh, you're wearing glasses Yeah, I had someone Forged me glasses Because I wanted to be treated with respect As an office manager, so just know that that's my expectation I must say without even realizing it As soon as you came out here, I thought you looked smarter. Oh, thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Well, okay, thank you. And I've got to say, that's a clever explanation. Oh, no, I lost all my contacts. Let's go ahead and play the theme song to Offices and Bosses. Yeah, Mundel the Grundo, please play the Offices and Bosses theme song. Marketing manager, IT professional, sales rep, and temp. I am Office.
Starting point is 00:10:31 manager, your guide in the realm of offices and bosses. You know, I am glad that we caught that audio and have preserved it for I fear there is a slim chance I'll never get Metamore back to full size. Oh, did he get shrunk? Oh, why do I say shrunk?
Starting point is 00:10:57 Oh, if I shrocked him, he'd be dead. I'd also very quickly like to say if anyone is just listening to an audio version of this later, the theme song, Definitely has a visual component. It's not just three people sitting listening to a theme song.
Starting point is 00:11:16 It's one person, a wizard, and a shapeshifter. Oh, yeah. Speaking of, you two will obviously be playing in the game, and I also brought along two of my favorite guests we've ever had, and someone who I've killed one of their family member,
Starting point is 00:11:29 I brought with me for the game tonight the two great blue tigers, Azure and Surillian. Oh, wonderful. Oh, such wonderful magical beasts! Oh, such beauty and glory! Near have I seen such magnificent majesty! Oh, your great bluenesses!
Starting point is 00:11:51 Thank you for deigning to spend time with us for an evening. You're welcome, Kring Prasby. Yes, we are very happy to be here. Thank you. Nice to see you, Chun. Nice to see you, Chun. Nice to see you. We forgive you. Oh.
Starting point is 00:12:06 Both of you? We'll see. We are very excited to engage in a fantastic game of offices and bosses. And we're so excited to have you here Azure and Cyrillian, whichever one of you might be whichever one. I am... I am Saralian. I am Azure. And as you know, there were three of us, and Chunt killed our sister Sapphire, but we forgive you.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Thank you. I appreciate that. And thank you for being here. I wasn't sure you'd come, but I appreciate you being here. and you don't have to sing. We never have to sing. Sometimes you have to sing. No, we choose to sing.
Starting point is 00:12:46 So here's how it's going to go. What we're going to do is start off, and I'm going to let you know that this office is in Boss's episodes is going to be called 2.0 because it's going to be in our second season, but it's a little bit of an offshoot. So what we'll do is we're going to imagine
Starting point is 00:13:01 that the four of you are in a large office building. You're in the lobby, this building. Oh, wonderful. Mm-hmm. It's a, the building almost scrapes the sky.
Starting point is 00:13:11 You might, you might, um, exclaim. Oh, can you imagine this thing? Yeah, yeah, I can. I really can. Uh,
Starting point is 00:13:18 and what we're going to do is we're going to start with, uh, U-Sdoor, I assume we're going to be playing John Sebastian. Uh, no.
Starting point is 00:13:26 I'll be playing my long-time character, John Bastion. I'm a marketing manager. I'm 43 years old. I'm wearing my bowler hat of colossal lunch and I have a freeze spell
Starting point is 00:13:43 Oh, what's joy it is to play Such a strange and wonderful character Great, and Arnie I think every time we play offices and bosses We end up killing your character Yeah, my characters don't survive very long Oh, it's because you're bad at it That's true
Starting point is 00:14:02 But I rolled up a new case character for myself. No, I know it's so exciting for you guys, the escapism of real world stuff. But, you know, growing up when I played role-playing games, I like to embody characters and worlds that I always wanted to be a part of. So I would play role-playing games of sort of movies and shows that I love. So I'm going to be playing the class Ghostbuster. I'm going to be playing Dr. Egon Spangler. Just a cool. ghostbuster with this sort of
Starting point is 00:14:37 Bill Murray quality. And just so I have the spelling rights, that's the word ego with an N on the end? Yes. Great. Well played. Great. And just for my sake and for
Starting point is 00:14:51 anyone else who might be lending their ears over to our table, can you describe what Egon Spangler is wearing and maybe one or two items that he's brought with him today to this building? So he's wearing like a full jumpsuit that's sort of gray and he's wearing a backpack
Starting point is 00:15:07 that's got science inside of it and it's got a hose attached and on the other side of the hose it shoots science out at ghosts and then I've got a science box that sucks ghosts into them and also probably
Starting point is 00:15:25 like a ghost meter where I can science up where the ghosts are this is the first earth thing you've described that made any sense to me just a warning Arnie, it seems like a lot of your items and even your proclivities lie in busting of ghosts, and we are playing
Starting point is 00:15:42 offices and bosses. Yeah. Okay, great, yeah. The choice is made. The choice is made. Oh, well, I also have a special bonus where I get plus 23 on roles to control gigantic statues. Okay. I
Starting point is 00:15:58 highly doubt that would ever come into play, but I'll write it down to humor you. It seems like the thing you do after you already did the thing that was good and were out of good ideas. Isn't that what we're doing now? Let's go ahead and go to Azure. Why don't you let us know what your character is, what their name is, what their
Starting point is 00:16:23 maybe office position is? Yes, I picked the normal earth name of Beck's new app. And I am playing the class of Tech Bro. Good, good, good, good, good. Do you want to give yourselves one or two items that might come in handy along Yes, his items are a diverse stock portfolio. Ooh, that's a good one. Which I assume, I mean, Nini, maybe you can tell me.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Is it just like a big portfolio that he like carries around? Oh, that you put criminals in, maybe put their head and arms into? Yes, a stock portfolio of stocks. Well, let me give you a sense of how much I really understand Earth stuff, because for a second, I tried to talk into my mic stand. Mike, mic stand? I've never seen you do anything with the world. word stand in it.
Starting point is 00:17:11 No played. Oh, let me look at my character. He's wearing a... Okay, it says white, t-shirt, and jeans, but both are more expensive than they should be, but still made in China. Great. And, of course, China is the chimera nether regions.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Oh, yeah. Sure. Let's go to Cyrillian. How about your character? Yes, I will be playing Winsome Winthrop, and she is a investor. All of her money comes from a trust fund. She's 26 and says, yeah. She's wearing a crop top and then several shawls.
Starting point is 00:17:56 No one knows how she can keep all the shawls on her small frame, but somehow she manages. She's also always drinking the end of a giant iced coffee. Always the end. Yeah. Great. And I do have a power, a modifier where I can contact Daddy. Perfect, perfect.
Starting point is 00:18:27 And I'm guessing his name is Mr. Winthrop. That's right, but she'll only refer to him as Daddy. Great. Perfect. Okay. So we've set the scene here. Those are the four characters. And what's going to happen is the four of you are in the line.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Great. Perfect. Okay. So we've set the scene here. Those are the four characters. And what's going to happen is the four of you, are in the lobby of a giant building. Again, we mentioned that is called Sad Trap Enterprises.
Starting point is 00:18:55 It is called Sad Trapp Enterprises. You are in the lobby. John Bastion and Dr. Egon Spangler, you are sitting in two leathered chairs in the lobby on one side. And on the other side of the lobby, we have Bex and Winsom, who are across the lobby in two other leather chairs. We do know just from an email that we received from the company that Bex and Winsom come from a company called Looky-Loo, It was a startup company that has merged with Sadraps Enterprises, and that the two of you, John, and Dr. Egon, are free of lance. You have no lances, so you are free of lance.
Starting point is 00:19:32 What if I need to joust someone? That will not come up. I just worry that being free of lance is going to be extra taxing. Like painfully taxing. So what's going to happen to start off? These two sets are eyeing each other across the room, and I'm going to give you about a minute or two just to kind of size each other up,
Starting point is 00:19:55 maybe go up to one another, and try and maybe undermine each other, maybe try and have some sort of pissing contest verbally, and just see what's what. So I'll give you about two minutes starting now. Bex, here's what I know. Whoa, what's up? We cannot move.
Starting point is 00:20:09 In fact, keep looking at the ceiling. Yeah, Power Play. What's going on up here? What's on the ceiling? It's a good chandelier. Beautiful chandelier. I look at her and I don't know whether it's hot or cold outside. John Sebastian. Bastion.
Starting point is 00:20:29 We have to, you know, they're playing some power moves on us, so we've got to do some power moves. Let's only look at the floor. Okay. They're both hanging their heads in shame, I think. We did it. We did it. Great.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Now we'll just shout. Hey. Hey. What do you need? another just seems like you might be working for the same company I'd like to shake your hand Oh can I roll to shake his hand Yep
Starting point is 00:20:59 I roll as well and you should know that I have a plus 6 to Way too hard of a handshake Oh no Great so I did have the local woodsmith Forge some 20-sided dye So I have those here John Bastion you have rolled a five For your handshake
Starting point is 00:21:16 And Bex you have rolled for your too hard handshake a 17. So as Bex grabs John's hand, he kind of crunches the knuckles and rubs them back and forth. Yes, that's the word. I crunch them. Ah, the goddesses. Mine very hands are being crushed.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Looking forward to working with you, bro. I, too, look forward to working with thee. What do you do exactly? I'm a marketing manager. Oh, that's so sick. That's so sick. That's so sick. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:21:47 Thank you. Yeah, it's a lot of hard work. But, you know, you just want to get the word out there about people's brands. Got to, got to. Can I roll for an obnoxious name drop? Yep. So you have rolled a 16. Bill Gates has a brand.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Then he's my godfather. How is Bill, by the way? Oh, my gosh. He's so sweet. He's, like, doing Norm Corps, like, so hard. And I'm like, Bill, get out of here. Let's go on jet skis. and he's like, later.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Great. Two minutes is up. Oh, well, John, can I do some ghost busting? Sorry to say no. So the two minutes is up, and what happens is a gentleman named Hunter, who's behind a giant desk in the lobby, approaches the four of you and says, right this way. He puts you into a room of conferencing.
Starting point is 00:22:46 He sits you down, and he launches into the following spiel. Hello, my name is Hunter. I see we have Bex and Winsome from Looky Lou. Is that correct, you? Present. We also have John... We've been gathered by a hunter. Never mind, keep going.
Starting point is 00:23:07 Worth it? I mean... Let's see if that was worth it. Okay, it's an 18. That was worth it. All right. Well done, Nemia. It turns out we all enjoyed that. Most.
Starting point is 00:23:21 Sweet. So, Egon and Nia. John, of course, we've brought you here to Sad Trapp Enterprises as freelancers and because we are looking to start a new project and the four of you we think would work very well together. Jackson Saddrap, of course,
Starting point is 00:23:37 the CEO of Sadrap Enterprise has requested you for specifically, and I seem to have lost my character voice. You know, there's a Griffin who does this and he makes it look so easy. So, the four of you are going to be interviewed one by one by myself in a separate
Starting point is 00:23:54 room. When you enter the room, I'll call you by name. You have exactly 30 seconds that will be timed. And I need each one of you to drop as many business buzzwords as possible. You don't have to say full sentences. It doesn't have to be coherent. I just need you in 30 seconds to drop as many business buzzwords as possible. Do we all understand each other? Yes, I understand. Great. Hunter gestures towards John to join him in the room and the three of you are left to your own devices. John, we will We'll go ahead and start now. Saturation, cross-pollination,
Starting point is 00:24:29 multi-platform, synergy, leveraging... Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Leveraging more saturation. And your previous role? What was your previous role? My previous role was a marketing intern
Starting point is 00:24:48 and social media manager, and I worked my way up to full marketing manager. Okay, great. And now I'm busy. maximizing profits. Biggest weakness? Caring too much. Time.
Starting point is 00:25:06 You see, this is something I could never do on my world. Hunter opens the door, lets John back into the conference room and gestures towards Winsome to join him in the hot seat. Winsome, you have 30 seconds starting now.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Robust. Integration. Lateral thinking. And, you know, just like, networking, sick, just backslaps. Who's your biggest hero? Myself in the future.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Outside the box. Group think. You know, no cubicles. Time, great. We'll leave room for one more biggest weakness? Caffeine. I see you were just finishing a cold brew. Hang on.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Hang on. Oh, wait, that was a full cold brew. So Hunter opens the door, lets out Winsome. Motion towards Bex to join him in the hot seat. And Beck should have... Chunt. Sorry. Bex has an ability, make it all about me in tech support. So if your character is of an older generation,
Starting point is 00:26:25 he can derail the conversation and fix something technological in the room that you were unable to install yourself. My character... Hunter is 40. All right. So roll on the chart. Okay. That'll be a four. Okay, that looks like a modem set up.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Great. So you modem set up? Sure. Great. And do you want, along the way that you're setting up the modem, do you want to launch into any buzzwords at all? Yeah, absolutely. But they can be modem-specific. Absolutely. Great. So what I'm doing here is to put in the Ethernet into,
Starting point is 00:27:00 yep, that's pretty much it. Also, the cable plug. And on the way of letting you back into the conference room, he just goes, oh, P.S., what is your biggest weakness? My legs are weak. That's very... Crap, I messed that one up. I did badly there.
Starting point is 00:27:20 Now I have weak legs forever. Great. And just so the four of you know, your weaknesses will be sent in an inner office memorandum to the rest of the company. So those will be on display for the rest of the office. Arnie, last but least, we have Dr. Egon. He has 30 seconds to use as many buzzwords as possible, Starting.
Starting point is 00:27:40 No. All right. Business buzzwords. Hey, business. Business to business. Business casual. Taking care of business. Smoking is my business, and business is good.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Risky business. And I take my glasses down when I say that. Business. And business time. That song. Also, I'm a ghostbuster. Great. That was 45 seconds. And just because you feel like Hunter maybe doesn't like you.
Starting point is 00:28:21 And before you go, he asks, what is your biggest weakness? My biggest weakness is I tend to make friends with people who don't like me. Great. Noted. Great. So Hunter lets Egon back into the conference. and he lets the four of you know that Satrap Enterprises
Starting point is 00:28:42 brought the four of you in to be sort of a think tank because they are looking to dip their beak into the waters of facial recognition software. Okay? This is sort of soft, malleable armor that recognizes the owner's face that they are looking to start
Starting point is 00:28:58 selling in their markets. He lets you know that you are going to have about two minutes between the four of you to come up with a game plan for this and then you are to deliver that game plan to the very top floor of Sadrap Enterprises, where again the CEO Jackson Sadtrap resides. He needs that in about half an hour, maybe 25 minutes. And along the way, each floor of the office building, there will be a boss or a game
Starting point is 00:29:24 or some sort of challenge for you to defeat. So, Arnie, almost like the movie, I think you said Enter the Dragon, I can't remember the name of it, you have to work your way to the top of the building defeating everything along the way. Does that make sense? What do we have to come up with the game plan to sell the facial? Some sort of pitch or some sort of spin on facial recognition software. I understand.
Starting point is 00:29:45 Which is, I'm sorry, Chunt, which is what? To the best of my knowledge, it's sort of light, malleable leather or armor that recognizes the face of the owner who wears it. A soft wear with facial recognition. That's it, that's it. I understand. Like if I wanted to wear a handsome leather cuff and I thought, is this my handsome leather cuff or your leather cuff?
Starting point is 00:30:09 The leather cuff would recognize my face and affix itself to my wrist. Exactly, yep, and if the non-owner were to try and wear it, it would go limp. Yes, the world of business is fascinating. Have we considered the slogan, facial recognition software, we came up with the name first?
Starting point is 00:30:28 I think here's what we need to do. I think that this is going to really appeal to people who get their armor stolen a lot, so we need to instill them with a lot of fear. But yeah, just like piggybacking off of that really quick. I think like instead of fear, but I do like that idea. And I feel like so we're talking maybe about like nights. You know, like people who are just like getting their armor like scooped away.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Like maybe some nights. So I like actually know some people who go to like some sick night parties. And so like maybe I could just like connect us that way. Yeah, like promoter at some sick night parties. Yeah, like some sick night parties. With some nights who are like too rich. And then we could also have an app and also the cloud. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Like, what if we put, like, all of it in the cloud? And then, like, we got some, like, really prominent nights to, like, wear it. Oh, yeah. I think putting in an app and in the cloud is really great, but we also need some grassroots word of mouth. So, well, it will store it in, like, the cloud where it's safe where no one can get it. And that way, no one can steal it from you, and then you take it out from the grassroots. Are we playing this game correctly? Chunt, I have a quick question.
Starting point is 00:31:37 I need a role for group work. Okay. From my experience, when I work in a group, I either end up doing 90% of the work or literally none of it. Great. The role is a 17. Okay. I choose to do none of it. Chunt, I have a power of a seething eye roll.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Great. I'd like to give one to Dr. Egan, and I'd like to roll for its strength. Great. I'm going to roll two dice, one for each eye. Great. Thank you. Uh, left eye is a four, right eye is a 19. Oh.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Winsome, what is going on with your face? Are you having a stroke? No, he knows. He knows. He knows. I think I might have dated you in high school. Oh, Chant, can I roll to say, back off, lady, I'm a scientist. Okay. Let's roll for that. That is a 17. All right. Back off, lady. I'm a scientist.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Egan, Egan, we have to be careful here. Her godfather is William. who protects the gates. And have you seen his upper body strength? His legs suck, but his upper body strength is wild. Honestly, I think you can roll with the leg thing. Just like incorporate into Bex that he's like a crossfit guy who skip leg day. Great.
Starting point is 00:32:55 So your two minutes is up. You write down whatever plan of action you had betwixt the four of you or three of you. I pretend that I don't have anything to write with. Can't do it. Great. I'm going to roll to see if you just. just shit your pants. 13. Great.
Starting point is 00:33:12 See, yeah, kind of. I can decide for myself. Yeah. Great. So you write down whatever plan of action you have. That goes into a manila envelope. Okay. I was going to say I put it into my phone, so I put my phone in the vanilla on the... Perfect. That works as well.
Starting point is 00:33:28 You seal that up. And Hunter gestures towards a staircase, and you start to make your way up to the first floor. When you get to the first floor, it is a open space area. There are desks, but there's nobody seated there. But in the center of the room is a chair with a giant case on it. And there are two small children behind the case, one male, one female, from as best as you can tell. And they say in unison, one of us only lies and one of us only tells the truth.
Starting point is 00:33:57 Which ruins that bit if they say it in unison. I was going to say. Do they both say it? Does one of them say it? They both say that, and then they say that starts now. Wait, do they both say that starts now together? No, just one of them says that. Which one says that?
Starting point is 00:34:12 We'll call them Adam and Eve. Adam says that. Okay, so Adam's the one that tells the truth. So, Adam's the one that tells the truth, bro. Okay, as you say that, the two kids runaway crying. Is that supposed to take longer? And the case slowly opens up, the case sort of kind of creaking. open, it's on a hinge, and
Starting point is 00:34:45 we can go from there, so the case is open. I'd like to look inside the case. Great, so John cranes his neck into the case, and you see it's chalkful of Mondays. It's chock full of Mondays. I want to... John, get back here. I want to pull John back. I want to pull John back.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Oh, yeah, yeah. John, those are Mondays. Those are, like, the worst. Yeah, John, there's nothing more dangerous than a case of the Mondays. Well, I've got one. now. So you're going to take one of the Mondays? Well, I was just going to take a whole case.
Starting point is 00:35:23 You're going to take a whole case. That's a significant negative penalty. Just so you know, I'm going to roll to see how heavy the case is. That's a 20, so that's going to be 20 pounds. Can I investigate on this floor for a break room? Yep, so we're going to roll investigation for a break room. That's an 11. So you look around and you see there is sort of a, what looks to be a countertop with some sort of coffee grounds on it, but beyond that it's nondescript. No mini-fridge, no
Starting point is 00:35:50 fridge of any kind? There's no fridge at all. Is there, can I roll to see if there's an outlet? Yes. Eleven, so you see there's an outlet, but one of the slits is clogged. Oh, all right.
Starting point is 00:36:05 I don't do anything then. How are you feeling, John? Honestly, this is probably fine. He took all of the Monday for us. Yeah. And now, like, I don't know, onward maybe, right? Yeah, I'm not too worried. I'm immune to the Mondays.
Starting point is 00:36:23 My sheet says that I'm just working for the weekend. I'm a... I'm a... Wait, are you working for the weekend or everybody's working for the weekend? Oh, I'm sorry. It says everybody's working for the weekend. Okay. Does that negate the case of Mondays?
Starting point is 00:36:43 No, because you are trying to get through the week, and Monday is the first day of that week, so... Fine, then I shall be... She are still burdened with the weight of the case of Monday. I shall be encumbered by the Mondays and take this hit for my party. For John Bastion is a brave and gallant young marketing manager who shall overcome. Great. So we'll say that by bearing the load of countless Mondays,
Starting point is 00:37:09 we're going to age your character from 43 to 72. All right. So about Arnie's age. No, you don't want to answer? Great. So you see a staircase on the opposite side of the room, so you make your way up there. This is a building that scrapes the sky? Yes. Can I do a roll to check for an elevator?
Starting point is 00:37:32 Okay. That's a 17. So you notice there are two large metal doors with a long line down the middle and a button with an arrow and quiver pointing upwards. All right. Dude, we don't have to take the stars. We can take this all better. Since you already walked up one flight of stairs and we know that your weakness is tiny little weak legs.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Yes. I'm going to roll the sea here. That's an 18. So your calves are burning. Like there's a real heat coming emanating off of it. I'd really like to take this elevator. I mean, I blasted my calves in CrossFit yesterday. And my blasted, I mean, walked into the CrossFit with them
Starting point is 00:38:10 and then ignored them entirely while I did sick push-ups for hours. As you say the phrase blasted calves, 10 young cows walk into the office space. They're on their hind legs and they look pissed. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's those cows I blasted. Those calves. They start to form a circle around you.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Don't worry. Don't worry. I got this. I got this. I'd like to roll for distracting them by putting the flower crown filter on them. That's a two Oh darn Yeah
Starting point is 00:38:46 I'd like to use one of my science boxes To find out if they're ghost cows Okay That's an 8 So you try and hit them with science And they shrug and they say Nature And they're slowly encroaching more and more
Starting point is 00:39:03 Are they? Seems they are just moos Not booze Worth it Are they Can you get roll for worth it? 17 worth it We loved it
Starting point is 00:39:14 We all loved it. Now, are the cows blocking our escape towards the elevator or the presumed elevator? They formed a circle around you. They're on their hind legs. Oh, they're around us. Sorry, I misunderstood. Very well, then. I will use my freeze spell.
Starting point is 00:39:31 What do you want to do with that free spell? I'm going to freeze all of them. Oh, freeze spell. That you said freeze spell. That's a natural one. So you try to freeze them, and what that has done is only hit their... udders, and that has frozen their milk in such a way that they can now
Starting point is 00:39:48 weaponize their milk, and they have started to shoot it at you. Really quick, I'd like to use a reaction to roll a white privilege, which allows me to kind of just like get out of a situation that normally I should not be able to get out of. That's a 10.
Starting point is 00:40:06 So the cows kind of recognize that you have white privilege, so maybe two or three of them are purposely avoiding you, but this other seven are coming at you. Sick. I'm going to use my free spell and just set them free. Great. Let's check for that.
Starting point is 00:40:23 That's a seven. So you kind of put up your hand to one of them, maybe the leader, who seems like the leader. How does he look like, how can I tell which one is the leader cow? He's wearing a tie. So you put your... Obviously. You put your hand on the front of his head and kind of rub it in a downward motion. And his eyes kind of roll back in his head.
Starting point is 00:40:43 and he goes down on four legs and starts to shake a little bit. The rest of the cows also go down on four legs, so you haven't defeated them, but they're all kind of immobilized on all four legs. Guys, I just had an epiphany. Cows in an office, we have to get to the far side of this room. That's a 10, so it's kind of worth it? I would like to think that for the people that it's worth it.
Starting point is 00:41:13 It's really worth it. As you say far side, a group of 10 chickens into the room also a group of 10 bears but a little sweet with this hour a glass door appears and it says push on it I immediately start pulling
Starting point is 00:41:28 okay and Arnie you are a big guy so your strength that's a 19 so your strength rips the door off the hinges and you're able to get to safety into what looks like a stairwell yes Nini well done
Starting point is 00:41:42 that's Arnie so you can go upstairs And there's also a set leading down. Well, we should go up, I believe, yes? Yeah, I think we should go up stars. Someone carry me. Um, not it. I'll do it.
Starting point is 00:42:00 Great. Get on my back. I'm already carrying this case of the Mondays. So that's an eight. So we'll aid you another three years just for that weight. So you're 75 at the moment. So you make your way up to the third floor here. And what you see is, again,
Starting point is 00:42:16 in an open office plan. There's one desk, and there is a middle-aged woman sitting at the desk. She has a little placard that says Alice, that is her name. And as she sees you coming up the stairs, she starts to approach you. And when she comes to the front of the group here, she introduces herself and says to you,
Starting point is 00:42:33 hi, my name is Alice. Would you like to see a portrait likeness of my kids? I think we should say yes. I shouldn't do this role. My character is bad at dealing with people. that don't want to talk about him. I feel like there's something with like, we have to ask Alice something.
Starting point is 00:42:56 So I guess maybe I think we need to ask her a few questions about her family. Yes, that's a good idea. Yeah, go ask Alice. And I have some ability to pretend that I care. So, yeah, I'd like to roll to see how effective my fane. Okay, that's a two. Was there something specific you're going to ask her?
Starting point is 00:43:18 What her children's after-school curriculars were. Great. She mishears that, and she hears you say, fuck you. It's pretty garbled, because maybe your shawls wrapped around your mouth, and it came out a little garbled. So she immediately is upset, and she goes back to her desk, which is blocking the stairway to the third floor, and sits with her arms folded and exclaims harrumph. Wait, I think I have portraits of my own children that I show to her. Okay, let's roll to see if that is effective. That's a 12. So she unfolds her arm and she only says, huh.
Starting point is 00:43:57 Not a full her rumpf, but just a huh. And you have her attention. Why were we going to ask Alice? I don't know anything about Alice. I didn't think Alice lived here anymore. Okay, let's check here. 15, so it's worth it. It's worth it.
Starting point is 00:44:11 Ask her about her children. Ask her about our children. Oh. How is it having kids? For you, for you, I mean. It's great. It's great. How is it for you? Don't know I want to talk about.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Your child looks very, very young. She looks just a few months old. She's still a few months old. This is a recent picture. A recent likeness drawing? Yeah, yeah. I don't have a more updated portrait. Oh, how long has it been since this picture?
Starting point is 00:44:42 Well, it's been about three years. Just about three years? Is there a more specific time frame? Three years and, well, it really depends on when this comes out. And what happened to you? Tell me your story. In about a minute and 15. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Well, I'm a ghostbuster and I fell through a ghost portal behind a, oh God, is there a good, Wendy's. Great. She says, my daughter's name is Wendy. Really? And I have two of them. They're both Wendy. They're both Wendy. I have Wendy's. That's great. Great.
Starting point is 00:45:29 She puts out her hands for perhaps a shake. I'll have some fries. Great. So she already had the shake. So she hands you that. It's chocolate flavored. And she reaches into her desk, and that's where the mini-freege is. She's been hiding it, and she fries up some French fries at her desk. And she gives us a student, she goes, will that be all? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:53 And she asks you to pull around. Okay. Great. And around her desk is the entrance to the new floor. Can I see if there's anything else in the mini fridge? Yeah, absolutely. So you loot the mini fridge. Is there anything specific you're looking for?
Starting point is 00:46:07 Lazzania. It's an 18. And also it's a Monday, so you do find a lasagna. Here, here, John, eat this. I'm really tired of looking at your old face. Fine. I'll eat the lasagna. This is good. A lasagna counteracts a case of the Monday.
Starting point is 00:46:30 That's a 14. So that takes 14 years off your life. And you're a spry 61. So you make your way into... Oh, to be as young as 61 again. So you make way into the stairwell. You go up to, I assume, up to level four. Is that correct?
Starting point is 00:46:45 Fourth, fourth four. And this is the third stairwell. we've gone up? Correct. Okay, I'm now at negative 7 physicality. Quite too many stairs. I have a question.
Starting point is 00:46:57 Is it an option to just keep going up? Do we have to stop on every floor? Do you want to roll for it? Yeah. That was a natural one. Okay. So you do have to stop at each floor. Can you use your science
Starting point is 00:47:14 to fix his legs? Well, you're right there's a slim chance that your legs are haunted all right I would like to use my my ghost meter on his legs I'm just saying if it was my world and I had a magic box and a magic backpack and a magic wand I would fix his legs but where in this stupid world
Starting point is 00:47:37 we have to use science things so use your science things all right okay we're gonna roll here that's a two so you hit his legs with the science ray and that snaps him in half. Now both my legs are broken and they've both got ghosts in him. Wait.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Are both of his legs busted? They are busted. But he feels good. So busted, for whatever reason, makes him feel good. So you make a way up to the fourth floor. Whatever reason makes him feel good. So you make a way up to the fourth floor.
Starting point is 00:48:16 And in the middle of the fourth floor is not another case, but it is a, what looks to be some sort of automaton machine, some sort of electronic machine, and at the top of it, in four large uppercase letters, it says, ATMI. A.T.M.I.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Do you know what that stands for? E. God. Bless you. Thank you. So, John has been blessed, so that will take... It takes another 11 years off his life. Yes.
Starting point is 00:48:49 He's down to 50. He's down to 50. Hashtag blessed, John. Thank you. Oh, wait, he's also been hashtag. That's got to make him much, much younger. Hashtag, that's a 15. So he is 35, and the hashtag 35, and feeling alive, starts the trend.
Starting point is 00:49:10 This is why I work on such spectacular character work because, obviously, Usador can't sneeze. Oh, of course. Can I do a tech role to see if I know what the machine stands for? Okay. That's an 11.
Starting point is 00:49:31 So you don't know for sure, but you don't know what the A stands for. But you know that TMI stands for too much information. And there seems to be a mouth-shaped sort of hole on the machine where you can... I kiss it with my mouth. That's a 14. Right. I kissed the machine. Feverishly and passionately.
Starting point is 00:49:53 So out of a thin slot in the machine starts to shoot out paper hearts And this machine obviously has an affection for you And it says in a robotic voice It says Tell me something about you Something you would not tell anyone else Only love me
Starting point is 00:50:10 If you tell me Too much about yourself I will open the door Oh my gosh Be careful This is like a stage 5 clinger over here you're obsessed with yourself you're the perfect person for this challenge
Starting point is 00:50:28 I'm trying to think of the perfect secret of me I'm I don't know anything about applications great so that is a ooh that's a three but because you do know a lot about machines in general we'll give you a plus 10 modifier so
Starting point is 00:50:48 the machine starts to weep openly and the tears are just flooding the room ruining the carpet. This is a carpeted office. And the tears, as they start to rise, the tears touch your broken legs and they heal them. And not only that, you get a good, nice calf going. So your legs are restored through the power of this ATM.
Starting point is 00:51:12 And the door to the fifth floor opens up to the fifth floor stairwell. There's still that elevator if you ever want to use that? Just kidding. I totally do know about apps. I'm good at my job. Does it remain open? Can I tell it a secret? If you like, you did solve the riddle, but you can... As everyone else goes up the staircase, I linger behind somewhat, and I turn to the machine, and I say,
Starting point is 00:51:37 marketing is a sham and I'm wasting my life. The machine continues to cry tears, and it also has an arm grab out of its side to pat you on the back. And it says, they're there, hashtag 35 in Feeling Alive. Can I tell a secret? No, we're moving on. Well, let me roll for it. Let me roll for it. I can just journal it.
Starting point is 00:52:04 That's an 11. So that's enough if you want to tell it a one sentence secret, you can. Okay, I go up and I'm like whispering into this thing's mouth? That's how it works, yes. Okay. I whisper, I'm not sure I really believe in ghosts. The machine stops crying and it just shuts off.
Starting point is 00:52:23 So the door to the fifth floor is open? We go through it. Great. So you go up the staircase. This is to the sixth floor? Sixth floor, I believe. Sure. So you're on the sixth floor, and there you see seated in a lotus position, a man wearing a vest, a sleeveless vest, a nice bow tie.
Starting point is 00:52:44 He also has over that a bolo tie. He's wearing a pork pie hat, and he himself has several shawls wrapped around him. Yeah, sick. Can I roll to see if I've been to Big Sur with him? That's his 16. So before you can even say anything, did I mention his jeans were rolled up to his... Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Before you can even say anything, he says, Oh, have you seen the large gentleman, the Big Sir? I totally thought you were there when we were by that Big Sir. I'm Pierre. Pierre Smugly. Oh my gosh, Pierre.
Starting point is 00:53:23 We were in those... tubs, those hot tubs. Oh yeah, in that cabana. Yeah, sick. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Don't you know Bill Gantz? Yeah, he's my godfather. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:37 Wow. Yeah, he's a nice guy. Wow. So, so good to see a guy. I didn't think I'd run into it. It's so weird. That's so weird. Should we like get a pick real quick? Just because like, yeah. No, yeah. Let's, here. Do you want me to take it or do you're going to do a selfie? No, we're just going to do a selfie. Thank you, John, though. Okay, sure. Thank you, John. So they snap a quick pick, and they make. the lips of a duck.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Didn't we also just do one with everybody? You have the one with just the two of you, but just to feel more inclusive, can we all get in on a selfie? We'll roll for that, but remember in the lobby or in the conference room, you did not work with the team. Do you remember that? Oh, that's right. Okay, so that's going to be a negative 20 for you. So that's a 4, so that's a negative 16. So that's a no.
Starting point is 00:54:21 You know what? So you go to take a picture. with everyone and the floor collapses and you fall through all five floors and lands and the other three kind of comically peer down the hole and you're on your back and you just go
Starting point is 00:54:37 eep this place is a money pit we only have a couple minutes left so already what do you want to do you stand down there you want to I'm on the fucking first floor I don't know well you can have the elevator you can run up the stairs does he have the option to just lay there and die
Starting point is 00:54:56 I think we all have the option to just lay there and die. All right, I didn't want to do this because I don't know if it's possible. I'm going to shoot my Ghostbuster laser into the floor and science my way to the top of the building. I love that. That's a nine.
Starting point is 00:55:15 So you do that and you get up to like the third floor and then it just kind of stalls out. I have an ability called boost Wi-Fi signal that can assist you in. That's a 14, so that's enough to carry you up to where the rest of the crew is. Just got to get a new router, bro.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Great. Well done. Well done. I'm so glad you're not dead. I was about to be real scared. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen a dead body.
Starting point is 00:55:42 I've never and I never will. I never will. I will not go to my own family's funeral. No, I'm not going to go to that shit. And I won't see my own dead body because I'm never going to die. Pierre hears that because he's like very much into you and he hears you never seen a dead body. He rolls a 17. So he tells you a story about one time.
Starting point is 00:56:01 where he found a dead body. And that's, in your mind's eyes, enough to sort of satiate that need or want. Oh my gosh. And wait, go back to how you and your friends got away from that train. And he goes up next real close to you. I mean, he's right up by you.
Starting point is 00:56:19 I mean, he's standing by you. And he whispers into the ear the whole tale again. All right, that would trigger my jealous for no reasonability. Okay. Do you want to strike? No, just automatic triggers. Great.
Starting point is 00:56:33 Okay. Great. And the stairwell to the seventh floor is open. Bye Pierre. By Pierre. By Pierre. We didn't really have it. We didn't really talk.
Starting point is 00:56:46 And Pierre smashed you in the face. And he goes, Egon Zero, Pierre won. And this is... That's a natural 20. It's worth it. Now we ascend the staircase to the final floor. Yeah, so you're at the seventh floor. There's a door. On the door is a sign that says Jackson, Saddrapp, CEO of Saddrapp Enterprises.
Starting point is 00:57:11 There is a bell next to the door, and the four of you are in front of it. Should we ring the bell? I think so. Egon. Yeah, let's ring the bell. Let me check for ghosts. Yeah, we wouldn't want there to be a ghost in bell. There's a three, so you don't find any ghosts.
Starting point is 00:57:31 Okay, no ghost safe. The bell's safe. ring it. I think you should ring the bell since you have the most technical prowess. Do I understand the technology behind this bell? That is a 17, so you absolutely do. Yeah, sure. This is just a
Starting point is 00:57:47 classic fiber wire bell. And I ring the bell. Great. So you communicate that education, you comment that, and the door creaks open, and in front of you is a red velvet carpet leading to a giant oak desk that must be 14, 15 feet high,
Starting point is 00:58:05 and behind that is the biggest chair you've ever seen. It might as well still be a tree instead of hewn from wood. And sitting in that chair is Jackson's sad trap, with his palms pressed together, staring intently down at the four of you. He's looking down. That's a power move. No, looking up as a power move.
Starting point is 00:58:24 Looking down is showing shame. That's how he knew we won. Have we already won? No. You are about 20 feet from the desk, and he has not received anything in terms of the game plan for the facial recognition software. Oh, right. Sir Julian, I think you should approach the desk first and put the manila envelope on the desk, and then if he asks us to follow up, I shall use my, I shall use my marketing prowess to then explain fully the grand plan we have laid before us.
Starting point is 00:58:56 I, in this magical plan, will surely most and certainly amaze him with the great and wondrous. magical marketing nonsense. As you guys are rambling, he stands up from his desk, climbs down, and comes to meet you. He says, in the deepest voice you've heard, he says, might I ask you,
Starting point is 00:59:16 what starts with E, ends with E, and contains one letter? Oh my gosh. Oh. I think I know this one. I think it's E, guys. I think it's, guys.
Starting point is 00:59:31 I know. Guys, I swear, I think it's the letter E. Guys, I know, I know this one. I know this. I am certain. You have ten seconds to give me. I'll hand him. It doesn't have a sort of clicking together satisfying feeling to it, but it fits all the clues. I hand him. Here is an envelope. You hand him the manila envelope with the plans.
Starting point is 00:59:55 He receives it in his hand, opens it up, pulls out the phone, your phone, and laughs. he kind of chuckles to himself and says, very good, very good. Were you thinking just the letter E? I was thinking just the other letter E, and then I was also maybe thinking like there was an episode of entourage or something, but... Can I roll throw Comrade under the bus for a bonus later? The answer is I, E-Y-E.
Starting point is 01:00:23 Well, the answer was envelope. He already said it and handed me. He already handed me an envelope, and that's a three, you're up to 38 now. But I is also a word that is also... God damn it. Great.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Do you want to hand him an eye? Yes, John Bastier removes his eye and hands it to him. Great. Oh, that's stalled on a 19 here. So he takes the eye and he's even more thrilled. He could not be happier. And he says, you have done well.
Starting point is 01:00:56 I knew this foursome, this team, from Lucky Lou and these Lance Free people would work well together to come up with an idea that I could sell in today's marketplace. Yeah, now you have an eye and a phone. Guess what our idea is? Well,
Starting point is 01:01:13 I'll have you tell me in a minute. So, there is an I in team? There's no eye in team. There's no, okay. There is an eye in innovation.
Starting point is 01:01:29 And Italy. Jackson's sad trap starts his smile wider and wider and wider he opens his mouth and devours Usador's eye he devours the phone John Bastion's eye I'm sorry
Starting point is 01:01:45 he devours both and continues his mouth continues to smile and smile until it almost reaches to his hair line just at that moment all the lights in the office go out and you feel a coldness
Starting point is 01:01:57 you feel a bit of a chill in the air there's like a flop sound from where Jackson's Jackson was. And as the faintest of light can be seen maybe from the curtains opening slightly from the wind rushing around, you can see it's just his clothes and a pile on the floor. Guys, this is a pervert. I think he might be some sort of... Ghost?
Starting point is 01:02:23 What? What? A... Ghost? You do see, as you come through the realization of what your eyes are seeing, you do, You realize Jackson is floating towards the top of the ceiling. He no longer looks like Jackson's hat trap. He looks like a little green blob with folds, giant teeth and food smeared all over his face.
Starting point is 01:02:48 I know what we should do. I ask him to go to lunch using my bowler hats of colossal lunch. He shakes his head and continues to smile at you. Damn, I am all out of ideas. I would like to use my power of calling Daddy. Great. So you call Daddy. That is a 12.
Starting point is 01:03:08 So you get enough reception to call him. You have 10 seconds to relay a message to him. Daddy. No. And the ghost of Jackson's Sadraps down and eats that phone as well. I have an ability that is too many phones. What is that ability? Roll, and that's how many phones I have.
Starting point is 01:03:34 That's an 11, so you have 11 phones. he swoops down to eat all 11 and you can tell he's gaining strength and as he gains strength he thrust his arms out to the side of his office and you see now for the first time that there was a a giant suit of armor
Starting point is 01:03:49 a giant almost like statue standing there in the office Oh my gosh, it's a hot night guys I think I can do something for once I'm gonna use some of my science I'm gonna control the suit of armor with, I don't know, the magic of New York.
Starting point is 01:04:12 So that is a six or nine. That's a six. That wasn't a joke. I couldn't tell. Look, it's a 69. No, I grew up. That was a six, but we add 23, because he had plus 23 to controlling giant statues. And that will be a 29.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Guys, we have to bust this ghost. This CEO brought us into his office, took off his clothes, and tried to slime us. He is out of touch with the current climate. As you say that, it seems like the giant suit of armor, the statue, goes to another area of the top floor that says HR and brings in HR person into the room. We'd like to register a complaint. Great.
Starting point is 01:04:59 The gentleman from HR, the lights go off, the gentleman from HR is no longer standing in front of you. You just see a pile of his clothes. Oh, no. He has joined Jackson, the ghost of Jackson on the ceiling. We've got to unionize. And we have one minute left. One minute left.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Okay, I throw one of my science traps. Okay, you throw your science trap and it plops on the floor. Yeah, I got to catch these predators. I'm just free associating at this point. Great. So the trap is directly underneath them. Okay, and I think I, like, kick a kick thing? Great, you go up and kick the trap and it hits the wall.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Okay. There is a cord with a pump at the end where if you step on it, the trap would open. No, I don't think that's it. I step on it. I step on it. Great. You step on the trap. It is up against the wall, so you'll be rolling a disadvantage. So I'll roll two die here. That's a 13 and a 14. The 13 is enough to grab the HR ghost at an angle. Sucks that HR guy into the trap.
Starting point is 01:06:01 Quick, use your wand to pull the other one into the trap. Oh, yeah. I point my laser, my science gun at the other one, and I shoot. Great. That is a 13. it does hit him and he starts to get pulled in but as he's pulled in you're also kind of pulled towards him to where you almost get at a bit of a stalemate and it seems like you need something
Starting point is 01:06:22 to pull you backwards I'd like to roll for hesitant physical contact that's a two so you go up to try and help pull him backwards you keep doing like a wrap motion but you never... I'm sorry I just like I don't
Starting point is 01:06:40 I don't like touching I'd like to roll for overcompensating with the muscles in your arms? That's a 15. Get over here, bro. Ain't no thing. I'd like to roll to give them a sip of my cold brew to give them a burst of caffeine power.
Starting point is 01:06:58 That's a 16. So they each take a sip, and they are energized, their pupils dilate, they are really caffeinated, and Bex's muscles are just bursting out of his shirt. All right, I'd like to flex on this ghost. Great. Uh, that's a 19. So you, you start, you start flexing.
Starting point is 01:07:19 So, ghost, welcome to the Bowenero show. I don't have tickets. Typical Monday. Uh, he is, he is zapped into the trap. The trap doors are still open. Oh, I use, I try to swing my proton pump around so that, uh, the ghost goes into the... You're what? I step on a pedal again.
Starting point is 01:07:40 Great, so he was already inside the trap. You step on the pedal that closes that. There's a bit of, smoke rising from the trap. As Arnie, I'm sorry, as Egon picks it up, I'm going to give you a... Wait, there's smoke? There's a bit of smoke. I vaped a smoke. Great. That's a 16, so Bex is blazed.
Starting point is 01:08:01 And Arne, as you pick up the trap, since you laid it, I'm going to let you roll at advantage to say something pithy or funny, some sort of catchphrase after you trap the two ghosts. Is that a roll for that? That's a 13. I say, fell into your own trap. And by you... Your own trap, I mean my trap. You trapped.
Starting point is 01:08:22 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Also, I say, I ain't afraid of no ghosts. Took long enough. Yep. And winsome, I'm going to give you a chance with advantage that is a 19. If you want to exclaim, you can exclaim two letters, if you like. A.F. Great. I was thinking, yeah, but A.F works as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:51 So the four of you have defeated Jackson. Sadrapp, you take on the floor with his clothes is the phone. It has dropped through him. You still have the plans for the iPhone and you take those and sell that. The four of you start some sort of corporation. Maybe a name
Starting point is 01:09:08 for that corporation? Oh, the name of the corporation. Well, I've always wanted to start something called Bastion Industries, but if it's all four of us, we should use all of our names, right? Yeah. Yeah, win, bass, bet, gone.
Starting point is 01:09:24 When bath begone. When best begone. When best begone. Should we do a roll to see if that website's already been taken? Because like literally everything has been taken. That's a 16, so it is not taken. Okay. And that is the end of offices and bosses.
Starting point is 01:09:40 Yes. Very fun. Once again. Use of ours victorious. Nini, how does anyone get anything done in an earth office when there's always cows and chickens coming in? I don't know. I don't know how any...
Starting point is 01:09:56 I mean, how do you guys get anything done in a magical land? Threats. Threats on magic. And turning back time. That's right. You guys have time powers. We could have cheated. Yes.
Starting point is 01:10:10 But where's the sport in that? I mean, we will certainly go back in time and play this again and again and again. How do you think I got that riddle about which one tells the truth so fast? This is like the sixth time we've got. done this. Oh. I'm still getting the hang of it, to be fair.
Starting point is 01:10:30 Arnie, I got to say, I just want to apologize. I thought you were foolish to be a Ghostbuster, but it actually came in handy. Yeah, it did. It really did. Again, I want to apologize if you... Yeah, I accept. Oh, can I do one more thing in the game? Yeah, of course. I stab
Starting point is 01:10:46 Egon Spingler in the heart. Great. I'm going to roll all five dice, and we'll take the lowest one. Lowest one is a six. so Egon does die but before he dies he gets to say one one thing Oh
Starting point is 01:11:02 He's dead Trapped Victorious A huge A huge huge thank you To Bexon Winsome To As You're in Surreliam Thank you so much
Starting point is 01:11:17 The Great Blue Tigers Thank you Arne Thank you Usador And thank you for office managing John Yeah of course of course Yes thank you chunt You did a wonderful job
Starting point is 01:11:30 Thank you so much It's a very hard job And sometimes you're responsible For buying the snacks Yes It's a tough job. Hard to please people. I have a corporate account so that all works out.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Yeah, I think that's about it. Well, thank you so much. And thanks to everyone here at the Tavern. Thank you for coming out. This has been Offices and Bosses. Prepare thineselves for another flood of bizarre Byzantine information from this damnable podcast feat. This bonus episode of Offices and Bosses was recorded live
Starting point is 01:12:30 at LA's Bootleg Theater on April 22nd, 2018. Chunt, the office manager, was played by Adlerafi. Usador, the Wizard, aka John Bastion, was played by Matt Young. Azur, the Blue Tiger, aka Beck's Nuap, was played by special guest to Zach Reno. Cirulian, the Blue Tiger, aka Winsome Winthrop, was played by special guest Jessica McKenna. This episode of Offices and Bosses was produced by Annie Neacamp, Ryan DeGeorgie and Evan Jakova. this episode edited by Garrett Shultz. The offices and bosses' logo was designed by Alar Laban
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