Hello From The Magic Tavern - Patreon Unlock: Offices and Bosses S2E1: Skeleton Roommate

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

Enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon! Klax the Skeleton joins Arnie, Usidore and Chunt for an all-new game of Offices and Bosses, led by Metamore.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Want to gift someone a Magic Tavern Patreon membership? You can right now at this link!Credits:Arnie, aka Hayden Christensen: Arnie NiekampChunt, aka Danger La Grange: Adal RifaiUsidore, aka John Bastion: Matt YoungMetamore: Bill ArnettKlax, aka Ron Bingo: TJ JagodowskiDorian Deville, aka Mr. Ropely: Zach ThompsonProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandOffices and Bosses Logo: Allard LabanProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzNew T-Shirts in the Merch Store!Follow us on Bsky, Instagram and YouTube!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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You soar the Blue to introduce the first of eight episodes of Season 2 of offices and bosses and bosses being released from behind the paywall. While His Majesty, King, King, spends a few weeks learning how to be King at King's School. Now, I know there was some rumors flying around since last week, and some of you have reached out. asking about whether or not Chunt is concurrently attending Kink school, which I can neither confirm nor deny.

For those who care, this episode originally debuted in April 2018 of your earth years, and all of season two takes place about midway through season two of Hello from the Magic Tavern. But it's all relatively self-contained, so sweat it not. If you haven't listened to Season 1 of Offices and Bosses yet, it's in the main Magic Tavern feed, so search for it in your favorite podcatcher, or go to patreon.com slash Magic Tavern. to access all the past seasons of offices and bosses and bosses, all our bonus content and ad-free versions of the main show. Enjoy.

Dear not, marketing manager, IT professional, sales rep, and temp. I am office manager, your guide in the realm of offices and bosses. Hey, you know what?

I don't actually host this. show I'm remembering, but welcome to season two of offices and bosses. Just in case you haven't listened to season one of offices and bosses or all of the show that it's spun off from, hello from the Magic Tavern. This is everything you need to know. Who is starting on season two of a series? Who is starting on season two of scenes? Yeah, going in blind and just starting on season two of like, you know what?

I think I get it. Let me start in season two. I mean, I think I wouldn't do that, but I heard from Arnold that season two of fringe is much better than season one, whatever that is. It's true. And you know what? You can skip season one if it's going to stop you from watching all of Fringe. But also if you're a completeist... Nothing's going to allow me to watch it.

Though that is true, we are in a magical world where you do not have access to Fringe. And someday, if I get back to my world and bring you along, Usador, we're going to watch Fringe. Right after we watch XTant Season 2. All right. Ooh. But guys, this isn't my podcast about Fringe, which is coming. Don't you worry. There is a spinoff to this spinoff coming about Fringe where I watch Fringe with Usador.

and also my other co-host, Chun, the Badger. Oh, hey, how's it going? I'm doing all right, bud. I'm so excited. It's been way too long since we've played offices and bosses. Yeah, I feel like it's been, oh, several months.

We meant to play it more often, and you know what? You look up and a year has passed, and you're like, oh, shit. We made a promise to ourselves that we would play offices and bosses more often. Yeah, I mean, I think as you get older, you're like, you know, I'm going to make time for this.

I'm going to carve out more time to play games with my friends, and then just life gets in the way. You know, you're in prison. for a while and the Dark Lord's taken over your town and then you're thrust into powers the new rulers of Hog's face. You're just making excuses.

Just because you've been imprisoned by the Dark Lord doesn't mean you can't make time to play games with your friends. I was in prison. I lost my powers. They made me drink a potion. Yeah, that's true. A wise man once said life is what happens while you're making plans. That's true. Who was that wise man? I think it was me.

Oh! I think I said it. Wise. Shunt, you're so wise. But you know, you know, what, I'm so excited. I haven't talked for a long time to the person that introduced me to this game of offices and bosses, the role-playing game. Metamore, the office manager? Office manager, that's correct, yeah. Happy to be back, everybody. He's not to see everybody again. Mallords, I guess, is that appropriate now? Malort? Well, we do, technically we run Hogs face, so I guess we are. Are we lords?

What are we? I call myself a Duke, and also King of the Badgers, but also just a Duke. Yes, I suppose. That would be a way to refer to us with some level of respect. But technically we are not lords. We are not high-born humans. No. You could also say, just call me Mr. Usador. I think that's a little more democratic. Sure. Yeah. And it fits in with the world of offices and bosses, this fantastical world, where there are no high-born people. You are simply measured by the content of your character. I've always wondered about that

Because whenever I've played offices and bosses And I try to kneel someone or give them tribute They don't want it No, not really Hmm, strange Try to put a sword on their shoulder They'll, you know, freak out Said it before, we need more fealty

Yeah You know, Metamore, I haven't seen you in a while And this is crazy, but call me maybe Timely Sure, okay, maybe, that's fine Okay Well, I'm excited to be back, everybody And excited to be playing the game again

and I have some exciting news also. Lots of exciting, exciting, exciting. I'm going to use that word a few more times. There is a new expansion for offices and bosses. What? And I figured I'll hand out some of the materials here. Oh, everybody. Arnie, that means it's growing.

Yeah, I definitely know the word expanding. It's expanding. Wow. And in this expansion, there's some new character classes where everyone, rather than having your job, you actually start unemployed. What? Everyone is unemployed, doesn't have a job.

and has to work to get a job. It's almost like inverse offices and bosses. Hmm, can my character be fun employed? Please, yeah. I think that's great, yeah. So wait, do we all have to be new characters? I know you, Sidor and Chun, you've had characters that you've played for years. Oh, yes, I've been playing my marketing manager character for, oh, Nyon, eight decades now,

with some props longer, I've lost track of time. There's some ways you can port over your character. No. We can retcon some material. Perhaps we are going back in time for your character. No fun. After playing your character before they became who they are today, you know? I'm ready to let go of Dan Smith.

In our game that we've been doing, he's married. He has a family and some bad stuff's gone down. Oh, no. What happened with Dan Smith? He got divorced. Oh. It was pretty bad. Yeah.

Yeah. And the wife got the kids and then lost the kids. Mm-hmm. Wait, the wife got the kids and then lost the kids? Yeah, so it's pretty traumatic. So I think... Where are the kids? That's what the game became, and it became very, very tragic.

Yeah. Roll a lot of ones. A lot of ones. And, yeah, a lot of bad modifiers. And next thing you know, get me back my children. Yeah, it was a lot of, like, not... Yeah, a lot of courtrooms. Not without my daughter.

Yeah. Yeah. Now, Medimo, I'm here looking at the unemployed manual, and I'm seeing that if I kept myself as a mid-level marketing manager, but then moved over to being unemployed, I wouldn't be able to keep my freeze spell. That is correct. Everyone's going to lose their spells.

However, if you check through the manual, you'll see that there are a whole list of special new skills that you get being unemployed. What sort of skills? I didn't see that part yet. Well, there's things we... Guys, I'm sorry. I was walking by and I heard you talking.

Can I play? Hey! Clacks! Yes, we'd love to have you play with us. Where it is, you guys got an O&B group going in here? We do. Oh, awesome. Awesome. I have enough time in my schedule to play in one other one.

Clax, do you know, Metamore? He's been running our game. No. No, hey. How's our office manager? You're a skeleton, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What gave it away. Well, I didn't want to say anything. Yeah. Maybe you're just... What you did immediately.

It's like, you don't want to ask someone if they're pregnant. You're like, I am like 90% sure this person's a skeleton, but just in case. Just in case, they could just be very desiccated. Yes. Which, you know what? You see that around here. You do. And it's like, how much? much flesh remains before they're no longer a skeleton? That's a good question. Mostly skeletal?

Oh, you got to get it all off to qualify. Oh, there we go. There we go. Zero. All got to get off. I'm in two other O&B groups, but I'm pretty sure I can commit to this one. Oh, this would be a third. Yeah.

Hell yeah. In one, I'm the East Coast head of acquisitions. And in another one, I'm a mischievous mailroom worker. Oh, fun. Yeah. What makes you mischievous? Oh, I miss delivering mail, putting stuff in mail and envelopes that weren't supposed to be there.

No, I mean, like... Oh, on purpose. Yeah. That's fun because you can intercept really important parcels of mail that can give you new information and new abilities. Yeah. Or just putting, like, yeast in an envelope. And so they still get the message, but they're like,

wow, this is... This smells weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the mailroom clerks get a lot of great bonuses when it comes to gathering information and learning about what's going on. on in the office. So that's the...

And they each get a knife. I love that they get to carry a knife. A letter opener. A little dagger. It's a letter opener. Small dagger. Oh, you got the unemployed? This is the unemployed one? Yeah, we're going to play unemployed. Oh, great. I'm going to be a junkie trying to get back on his feet. Oh, wow. He's ready to go. Perfect. I already got my class picked out. And I think,

if I'm not mistaken, the junkie gets the ability, the checks in the mail spell. Right. Where they can convince someone who needs something that, yeah. Can also eat anything. That's correct. You can get on the street. I can eat anything. Gangs sustenance in a ceremony. That's right.

Can't wait to eat. So now what does Eucidor have to do to take his character, John Sebastian, and make him... John Bastion. And make him an unemployed character for this version of O&B. Well, we could. There is some corporate downsizing. Perhaps he has been shed and is newly unemployed. Now, as someone who was employed, who was now unemployed, he's going to have some encumbrances

because he probably has some money in the bank. So he might have to lose a few spells, lose a few modifiers. If he's willing to do that, I think he can bring over his... Yes, I'll stick with John Bastion. I'll bring him over and make him unemployed. That sounds fun. Let's give it a shop. You will have contacts in the business world, which would be good to use.

Which our junkie would not have. And, John, if you're not going to play Dan Smith in this game, who are you going to be? Who are you? I think I'm going to play someone I've been noodling with... I think I'm going to play a guy named Danger LaGrange. Danger LaGrange? Danger's his first name. Oh.

And I think he's going to be... What's his middle name? I don't think he has one. Okay. Yeah. He's going to be a trust fund baby. Oh, you're playing a baby? Mm-hmm.

Okay. This is going to be a lot. I'm already stressed out thinking about being unemployed and having a baby. Well, I thought to either be a trust fund baby or a, what was it called here? Page 5. Disc jockey. Okay. Gosh, I don't know which is my name.

more annoying to listen to. Probably both then. Okay. A trust fund baby who's a disc jockey. Yeah, a trust fund baby is nice. They have a little bit of extra money and they can pay rent at times. Although if there's any role that requires ambition, they're going to get a few negatives on that, modifiers on that.

Okay. And the other one rides and races discs? I believe so. Like, do I get on the back of a disc and just kind of... Yeah, someone throws a disc, you just ride on it. Oh, that'll rip you in half. That'll tear you from your anus to your appetite right there. Yes, that can be a problem.

So Metamore, I'm kind of at a cross-refer. as to what I should play in this game. My character from last season, Orlando Bloom, the elf who fell through a dimensional portal behind a blacksmith choppy. Worst. Unfortunately, ended the season on the, you know, practically dead.

He returned to his world, but all fell face first into a blacksmith fire. I remember. And then my character before that, Ryan to Georgie, the son of the boss is also dead. Most of my characters are dead, but I want to play something to spice it up. So I was thinking about maybe playing a Jedi night

named Hayden Christensen, but also now I'm thinking more than that. I just got a shiver through my body when you said that name. Hayden Christensen? Yeah. Because, you know, we don't have role-playing games like this on my world. I would maybe play something more with like a space theme, you know, like a Star Trek kind of thing. How many years have you been in Foon now? I've been in Foon almost three years, maybe more than three, depending on when this gets released.

Sounds more like 10. Could be. Could be. Well, Jedi Knight's not an official unemployed class. Okay. Well, then the other thing I was thinking about was I could just play Dan Smith. What? Well, I think if you wanted to be Hayden Christensen, there is a art school graduate who can't find a real job.

And that's another character class where you went to college, but just got a useless degree. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's something I know about. Could it be like an MFA in creative writing? Sure, you can pick whatever it is. And if you look in the book there, you'll see what modifiers you'd get for that. you do take things very personally and are upset when people say your degree is useless. Sure.

And that would make me angry. Any situation may make you angry and make you feel lesser than you're going to have some negative modifiers there. So that make me afraid, and that might lead to anger. And anger leads to the dark side of my MFA. Sure, potentially. Yeah. I didn't know MFA's had dark sides, but we'll go with that. Now, all unemployed people, as you might know, the best way to survive is you've got to be roommates.

So we'll begin our story. You guys are all sharing an apartment somewhere. I'm not sure how everybody found each other out here. Perhaps it was the trust fund baby or the junkie who had this place and you'll all be staying there. May I add a bit of color? What if it was my place before I lost my job? Oh, okay. And now I've invited others in to help me pay the rent.

I think that's fantastic. It's probably going to be a nicer place since you're an established character. Yeah. Great. I save money by sleeping under the. the porch. So I don't have to pay full rent so that allows me to kind of keep. We have an extra room.

Yeah, I know. I understand. I understand. I just don't want to pay full rent so that way I can keep a little more cash in pocket. Oh, sure. A little more mad money. What do we have to do to establish, like, who gets what rooms? Because that's like got to be a big power thing right there, right? Well, again, it's going to be up to if John

Bastian's going to put his place up, we can figure that out. If people want to roll some dice for that, it's going to be harder for the trust fund, baby, to convince anyone he shouldn't get the expensive room. I don't know if you want to try, but everyone knows you got some money. Well, here's the thing. I have money, but I'm also a baby, and I assume I'm... You don't know what your password is for your bank account. Let me roll for how many inches long I am. That's a natural one. You're one inch long? I'm a one inch baby.

So I don't take up a lot of space. Did we establish Clax's name as a junkie? Ron bingo. Ron bingo. Okay. Well, there's actually one other character. Every day as a small business owner feels like solving a puzzle. One moment you're cruising along, and the next, there's a shipping snag that has you scrambling. But here's a surprise you will like. With Progressive, Small Business Owners save 13% on their commercial auto insurance when they pay in full.

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Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states. Junkie? Ron bingo. Ron bingo. Okay. Ron. Great. Okay.

Well, there's actually one other character. And that's B-I-N-G-O? Yeah, B-I-N-G-O. Can you spell that one more time? Yeah, B-I-N-G-O. And one more time. One more you go, B-I-N-G-O. That's your name-o?

Yeah. But you know what? You could probably save some money if you sold the B off of the front of your name, and then you just be Ron. In-G-O. Yeah. Yeah, I sell all those letters, you know,

and sell them one in a time. time over the course of several stanzas. And then... Speaking, Arnie, will you grab that beer off the wall and pass it around real quick? Sure, sure. Grab one down, pass it around. Well, you guys are getting the unemployed lifestyle down. This is exactly what it is.

Exactly. Your starting materials are a collection of VHS tapes with various movies and things. And you have no internet yet, but you might be able to get some. I didn't want to introduce. I know someone you guys know who I've only just met someone else who really wants to get into the O&B world and has insisted that they play. I insisted. Cool.

Playing the part of your landlord, Mr. Roepley, is Mr. Dorian DeVille. What? Oh, no. Hello, my friend. Son of a bitch. I cannot believe that the three of you still live

after Arna was sent back to the Vermilion Minotor to find you. Oh, trick's to God. Know that I am engaged here in some recreational game, but that Usador never sleeps and that I shall defeat thee. Yes, I understand that you are the Dukes of Hogface now. Yes, that's true. Yeah, I'm a Duke.

Be that as it may, I shall play O&B with the three of you and this fine young skeleton next to me. Hey, Doryne. Clacks, nice to see you. Good. Good to see you, too. We play on Tuesday. Yes, yes. Menemore, how could you invite Dorian DeVille, a trickster god who has it out for us and has for a long time,

even though he has not been on in the show in quite a while? But I don't think I invited them, but I think I did. You know, I think I was tricked. There we go. I was tricked. Yeah. When everything kind of went south, about a year or so ago, I, uh, milk jug landed on my head. Oh.

And I missed most of the action. Oh. And, um, someone found me and said they would help remove the milk jug from my head. And I said, oh, whatever. I'll pay you back later, you know. It was Dorian. It was Dorian. Oh, yes.

You were going to go on our quest with us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was. I was. And when I was getting ready is when the milk jug fell on my head. I realized at that time that I am dragon-born. I can breathe fire.

I am immune to all mortal weapons. And I was like, well, the fellas are really, they'll be excited to hear that one. And as I was saying, oh, boy, a milk jug fell on my head. And, well, now we're here playing O&B, all right. I guess technically not a mortal weapon, milk jug. Not to get too far off track here, but were you throwing milk jugs in the air? Well, no, I was in the stable, and I was just so excited. I jumped up and kind of said, yippie, and it was one on a high shelf.

And it toppled and... Slanted right on your head there. Yeah, I guess, you know... While you guys are catching up, I'd like to search the kitchen for leftovers. Guys, we got to keep our eyes on this junkie. Very well. Let us begin playing this game. For no, Dorian Deville, I shall defeat you in this game.

And in real life, best of luck. Well, great. We can search your leftovers. It's like inventory of the place here. You want to class when I search your leftovers first here? Hey, Ron, what are you doing there? What? Ron, what are you doing there?

This is my apartment. I'm glad that you're here, but I just want you to tell me before you start rooting around. Oh, just there's all those aluminum tins, you know, with the foil tops, and I was going to see if there was any spaghetti left in any of them. Is that all right? Can he do that without taking a turn? Yeah, he can do that. Yeah.

Okay, Ron. Go ahead and look in those. Okay. scrounge roll percentages yeah 74% that's good stuff there's gonna be about a meal and a half worth a leftover so great I pop it right in a micro yeah right in a micro did you take the foil off first no oh damn it did I ruin it yeah the microwave let me just roll ruin the microwave yeah the microwave is ruined but this but the food's still good it's edible it's edible screw to micro yeah there's a knock at the door and you open the door and you see

Who's coming knocking on our door? Exactly. The landlord and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. Ropley. Good. Hello, gentlemen. I see that the apartment now has three men and a baby inside of it. That's right. A DJ baby.

How did I not see that? I don't understand what you mean. There's a baby right here, though it be but one inch long. I certainly there is a baby in here. And trust me and know that I do mean it when I say that we shall defeat you. landlord. I came because I heard the smoke alarm from the damage to the microwave. Oh. I run to check the back door, see if it's locked or unlocked. If it's unlocked, I'm going to run. It is locked. It is locked. Ah, damn. Okay. If anyone has some excuses, now would be a great time to

get them out here. Mr. Ropley, this is Ron and Hayden and Danger, and they're going to be my roommates now that I have lost my job. You what? I lost my job. I'm working very hard to get it back. I sell lots of business contacts, but I lost my freeze spell. Now, as a marketing manager, your ability to sell this idea is going to be pretty high. I want to give me a roll here. Okay, yeah, here we go. 14. 14.

He believes it, but barely. All right. Well, you know, as long as you keep making your payments, I'm obliged to fill out the end of your lease. Very well. Know that I shall continue making payments. I until the end of time. Ah, yes, I've done it. That?

And my wife has taken a shine to that very cute one-inch baby. Oh, gross. I roll to be adorable? Sure. It's 18. Yeah, you're very adorable. Very adorable. In fact, the wife here, Mrs. Ropley has a big puffy red hair and was wearing a full-length housecoat.

And if everyone would like to roll against her old lady charisma to see if any of you fall in love with Mrs. Ropley. Okay. Two. You do not fall in love. You probably know her. It probably would make sense that you wouldn't. 11? 11.

You kind of do, but you're a baby. You kind of love everybody. Check so. Yeah. Yeah. I, the 14. You take a shine to Mrs. Ropley. Oh, really?

And clacks? 17. You like her a lot. But then again, as a junkie, you kind of like anybody? Right. Also, I can't, I can't handle the emotion of love. So I started looking under the sink for any kind of bleach or cleaning products. Because if it gets to be too much, I'm going to try and kill myself.

That's good, then. Let me just roll from Mrs. Ropley here. Okay. She kind of likes you, too, Hayden Christians. Oh, really? That's Hayden Christensen's charm. Yeah, yeah. So I don't know if it's something you want to exploit now or perhaps later.

Yeah, I'm going to keep that in my back pocket, I think. Sure, sure, sure. Although I am going to write that down on my scroll here. And if Mr. Robly liked to roll to see if he notices the chemistry emerging between Hayden Christensen and his wife. All right. 13. You sent something. Something.

Now, don't be making time with my best girl. I'll see you all next. month, barring any more microwave mishaps. Best girl, how many does he have? Now, what do I have to do, Metamore? If I want to get some locks to put under the sink so that Ron can't get in there and kill himself in my apartment. Yeah, well, I would like to think you've got to already have some baby-proofing materials,

having a baby in the apartment, and I'm not sure if Ron can navigate. Wait, wait, wait, what? Baby-proofing, baby locks. How do you baby-proofing? What is baby-proof means? I stick a fork in the outlet. Oh, that's fun. Okay, you're going to roll here.

I really hope you get a low number here. It's a seven. You missed. That was close. That was close. That would have been very dangerous. I'll try. Go ahead.

I'll do the same thing. I'll try. Yeah. Six. Hold on, natural six, but I have plus three for self-harm. That's correct. You do, you are mildly electrocuted. All right.

All right. Nothing that hadn't happened before. Probably used to it and are able to survive. I'm so curious what Ron Bingo's wind conditions are in this game. Like, what is winning and what is losing? It's such a blur. It's all seems to be the same. Yeah.

At some point it gets tough to tell. Hayden, do you want to put a fork in the outlet there? You know what? I'm going to pass on that. I think I'm going to claim John Sebastian's room as my own. Bastion. Oh, sorry. I'm going to claim John Bastion's room as my own.

Well, this could be a fight between roommates here. This could be something. I don't know if either of you have any modifiers for these roles. but, well, on my character sheet, I have all my stuff in my room. Oh, I'm going to also claim all of John Sebastian's stuff as my own. Can he do that? That's very brave. Well, again, he did go to a snotty art school and he has very full of himself.

So he may attempt to do it. I feel in a roll over that. Yeah. I got an 18? Pretty high. He insists that your room is his room. Yeah. Fine, fine.

Whether it is or not, he is his school. Look, I just need. this extra space for my creative process. I'm writing a comic strip about a cheetah that plays a saxophone. Oh. It's just very important. Oh, I have an automatic action. I have to take care whenever I interact with a creative person.

Your life must be so interesting. It is. I talk about this for a long time. I'm going to roll for how long. Oh, it's a 20. All right. Well, you're going to spend the next, the rest of the evening, talking about the creative process.

So I don't, I won't say word for word, all the things that I say, but I talk about my ambitions for my, comic strip about this jazz playing cheetah, and it's a storyline that follows him through several seasons and a spin-off. If I wants to roll to see if they can resist the story, if they find it, actually do find it interesting or not. Yeah. I have to also roll for jealousy.

Yes, of course. Of course. You're a 12. A 12. You're listening, but you are a baby. 19, with a plus three modifier for weakness against creatives. Yes. You're hook, line and sinker.

You are just, eat all this up. Eat it all that up. Do I roll here as well? Sure. Perhaps you were listening in and hear something. Yeah, I forgot to close the door, guys. May have I just stand behind a curtain creepily in the background. Well, that is what you're actively doing in the room right now, so.

Yes, it's quite what I'm doing right now. Here goes my role. All right, you hate this story. This story is ridiculous. You've seen right through it immediately that this guy clearly went to some art school and thinks he's all that, but hasn't actually produced any work. That's right. I'm a practical man of the world

who owns a building lease to other humans. Metamore, I'm going to try and disengage from the conversation, taking any impoliteness penalties that that might incur. Track down one of my roommate's cell phones and order out for takeout. Sure. When was the last time you had your last fix? Okay. Let's see.

Seven hours ago. Okay, so you're Jones and pretty bad. So you'll be able to break away from this conversation pretty easily. Tremendous. Locate cell phone, order out for delivery. Sure. I'm going to give it a roll? Yep. 14?

Yeah, you got it. You're able to break away pretty easily. And then I'm going to use the check in the mail spell when they ask me how I decide to pay for it. That'll be great. That'll be great. I'm not sure if you're going to call for pizza or Chinese or Greek food. Greek food, great, great. Okay, okay.

And the Greeks are very susceptible to the checks in the mail. Perfect. Perfect. Spanacopoda, the whole deal. And I'm keeping a bit of a chart here. Danger's just trying to keep a chart on Ron. So far what I have, and I'm just kind of putting little markers on the chart. as I get information. So far, you sleep under the porch, so I have a free space.

I have a mark on a space. Yep. Also, you almost got electrocuted, but it turned out to be B-9. Yep. So I have free space and ben-nine. So just want to make sure I keep updated on and run here. That's great. I'm going to roll for Mrs. Ropley.

Oh, she likes the story. She likes the story a lot. Oh, really? She's very interested in your story. And I've just been enjoying talking about my creative process so much that I'm feeling kind of generous. So, John, I'm sorry. I'm going to take this bigger room, but I'm not going to take all your stuff. Like you have this weird cardboard cut out of yourself that I'm going to let you take out of your room.

Thank you very much. I'm very excited to hang out to my own cardboard cut out. Well, right now, there is a job fair tomorrow that everyone's scheduled to go to the job fair tomorrow, which is going to be great. Your biggest danger right now is pulling yourself away from the television in order to go to sleep tonight. and you do, however, manage to have cable, and one of the premium movie channels, the little scorecard comes up, and it's got everything.

It's got violence. It's got all kinds of nudity. It's all kinds of stuff. And you really want to stay up to watch this movie, but you know you've got that job for the next day. All kinds of nudity. Yeah, it's the full back. Yeah, side.

Side nude. I'm up. Top. So if everyone wants to try out of, yeah, you're going to have a lot of terrible modifiers. try to resist this as a junkie. Any stimulation you can get is never enough, really. Look, guys, if we're going to stay up all night watching dirty movies,

at the very least, I mean, we've got a one-inch baby that needs to sleep. We should have very least sleep. No, I'm staying up. We got all kinds of Ken's-in-Dunty. Are we talking, like, birds-eye view, worms-eye view? Everything. I'm staying up. It's those cable movie scorecards.

They kind of tell you what to expect, and it's wet at all your appetite. So to resist it, you're going to have to roll. Oh, trust me, I'm going to be. Up, all next. Now, Arnold, is that accurate? In your world, when you're watching one of these plays that they put on a screen, do they warn you and tell you what is going to happen? It seems like it takes all the fun out of it.

Well, I mean, they just warn you about objectionable things that you maybe... What's objectionable about nudity? Well, some people don't like nudity. Why not? I don't think it's appropriate for a baby to see nudity. Clax is naked right now. Yeah. Although I'm uncomfortable with particular types of nudity.

I like outside nudity. I don't like inside nudity. Fair enough. Oh, sure. Oh, so you only like to see naked people outside? No, I mean, naked from the inside. Oh. He isn't like inside outers.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yuck. Now, but the people are offended by nudity. Truckers aren't just moving goods. They're making sure bakers get their chocolate chips and hotels get their tiny soaps. But truckers can't do this if they're not on the road. That's why Progressive has over 300

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company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $197 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between October 2024 and September 2025. Potential savings will vary. Yeah. Yeah. That seems... Yuck.

Now, but the people are offended by nudity. What else are they offended by? Course language. Okay. Adult situations. I'm trying to remember what some of them are. What's an adult situation? An adult situation would be...

Like a mortgage or a rent payment or something like that? Yes. I've got to say, if I'm watching something and it's going to have long scenes about mortgages and rent payments, I would like to be warned about that beforehand. Or if it's like a scene where like a group is out for dinner and one person's like, I'll take the bill. Like, that's a pretty adult situation. Yeah. And you know what?

Honestly, now that we're talking about it, I feel like we've been a little remiss in not having warnings at the beginning of our own episodes. And I think for the rest of offices and bosses season two, we should have warnings at the beginning of each episode about what are the things people are going to hear in that episode. What the fuck are you talking about? There hasn't even been any coarse language in this fucking thing. That is fair. We'll start with the next one.

My baby just starts jerking it. What? No. Danger. It's okay. Arnie, it's okay. I'm a baby, not an adult. So it's a baby situation.

And his baby loves to jerk it. They don't know anything about it. They just do it feels good. Jerk it to the east. I jerk it to the west. And people of any age could be offended by stuff. Like, you could be, oh, 70. Oh, what was that again?

You could be, oh, 70, and be offended by stuff, you know? We're going to write that down. So if everyone's going to roll, because, again, if you end up staying up all night, there will be another movie and another movie, and these negative modifiers will stack tomorrow when you're at the job fair. So it might be important to some point break away. Look, danger. You've got to get to sleep. Are you never going to grow up to be a boss baby?

Listen, I'll go to bed. But before I go to bed, one, I'm going to finish stroking it. Two, I want to roll to see how big that dick is. What? Your own? Yeah. Is that okay? Can I roll for that? Can this be a secret action that none of us ever know. You hear the results up? Like, if you need to know that for yourself. All right? No, I know. I know what it is. And let's just say it's pretty impressive.

And Ron, you probably need to get into that space. below the porch. Yeah, but I'm going to be up anyway because I can't sleep on a belly full of soufflaki. Well, great. I don't know if, you mean, your modifiers are terrible in this situation. Yeah.

So if you even want to bother rolling, you know, as a baby, you do fall asleep three times a day. You have to take that action. Okay. We're just going to see, if you're taking it now or at some point, you're going to take that action.

Should we maybe, like, sing him to sleep or something? Oh, that'd be great. With that help? Yeah, thank you. As an art student, you have the best modifier for singing the baby to sleep. Maybe if the three of us, like, hover over his crib and sing something to him together, that might help him get to sleep. But you'd have to really sell it. Sell it.

Okay. Yeah. Bo, boom. Good night danger. Well, it's time to go. Babon, ba'am. Good night danger. Well, it's time.

Time to go. I hate that your dick is bigger than you. Good night, sweet heart. Good night. Keep it down in there. Okay, I rolled a one. It didn't work. Baby's crying and pooping and vomiting everywhere.

Yeah, that wouldn't have worked on me either. Sorry. Well, I'm going to go to bed. Can I choose to just go to bed or am I stuck watching these movies? You need to roll to see if you can resist the tempting bro time watching. Okay, I got a 12, but I have a plus 4 modifier for not being fun. That's correct. And you also have a plus 3 modifier for having had a job recently.

Oh, yeah. So being responsible. So you're able to resist the tempting pre-movie scorecard and go to bed. Very good. Off to bed I go. Sorry, off to bed I go. Is baby danger still pooping and crying? Yeah.

We're getting very close to when one of those mandatory sleep actions has to occur. Are we sure he's not dope sick? Should I hit him up? Because I know my character starts pooping and crying, too, when he's dope sick. Probably not. Okay. But it's a nice try. If you want to try resisting the movie at all?

No, I'm not going to try resisting. No, I'm not going to try to resist them. You know what, Clax? I have kind of a weird question for you. This is slightly outside of the game kind of question, but you're a skisks. When you were alive, didn't you kind of die by accidentally poisoning yourself? Yeah. Yeah, a lot of the materials in re-apulstery are heavy metals and, you know, stuff like that.

Yeah. Yeah. It just seems strange as it playing this game, you want to sort of dive back down that same. What I would have to imagine is a strange, painful rabbit hole for you. I'm working through some stuff. Oh. What better, you know, what better form to be able to put these ideas in play? I mean, if you need to know, my character Ron Bingo also hates his fucking mother.

So, you know, there's a few other things I could probably tell you about my character that might have parallels to... Oh, all right. We'd love to hear them if you want to share. But if you don't want to share, that's also fine. I just figured some of them will come out in the course of play. Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure. I did like Greek food. Who doesn't? It's the best.

That's my favorite part of the character manual. It's reading about all the Greek food. Oh, bye. That? Well, it's morning time. What? I didn't sleep at all. No.

I had many opportunities to roll to resist the movies. You guys who will make the whole time will receive negative modifiers for the job fair. Can I roll like to just sort of rally? Yes, you can. Yes, you can. You're probably the youngest person. You're just out of art school. You can.

I'm young. I mean, I'm no like a Jake Lloyd, but I'm still very young. Although I do have one question, you do need to make a roll. When you took over John Bastion's room, you are also irresponsible and may have unplugged his alarm clock. Oh, no. So we just want to roll on that. Oh, gosh, I hope I do. I hope I'm rolling like a G6 here.

That's got a five. Yeah, you unplug that alarm clock. Oh, no. You are woken up. It is well past the time when you should have gotten up. It's 1030. The job first started at 9. Oh.

And. It's 1030? Yeah. And you're probably furious about this. Oh, yes, I am very angry. And you are actually awoken by a knock at the door, and it's Mrs. Ropley is actually who woke you up. Oh, Mrs. I would love to hear from Mrs. Ropley. I couldn't help but notice the lack of movement in the bedroom up above mine. Good morning.

Well, good morning, Mrs. Roply. Yes, well, didn't I hear something of a job fair today that every... needed to be going to? We're late. We have to get to the job fair. Yes, let's go. Half ten, you really need to get your hindquarters in gear. Oops, my house coat. Wow.

Oh. All kinds of nudity. We should have preface this episode with all kinds of nudity. All kinds of nudity. The one good thing is that if we're leaving at 1030, traffic would have let up out on I-26. Yeah, you'll be able to get down there pretty quick, which is nice. I do it. Bingo!

What? Yeah, what? Bingo. Bingo. Yes. Did you get it? Yep. Yes. Huh?

What? I was just calling your name. Can you drive or do you want a baby driver? Oh, I can't drive, man. I've been up all night and, uh, yeah, I found my way into a little bit of, oh, boy. Yeah, clacks, you do need to roll. No, clacks. Yeah.

You just have to, once a day roll to see if they completely fall off the wagon and, uh, go on a bender here. Okay. Uh, uh, uh, uh, that's a natural one. What? Really? Yeah. Wow. not good.

Could he die? Well, he's probably going to be in the bathtub full of ice water screaming for the next couple of days. Most likely. I just don't want to have him die and just have to be like, and bingo was his name, oh.

You know what? If it'll keep my character from dying, I can, maybe I'll move back home and take my folks up on that offer. Oh, that's nice. That was very nice. But Ron. You know, yeah. You hate your mom. Yeah, I know. Well, the offers

that I can go to rehab. I can go out to like Willow Creek there for like 30 days and, you know, and maybe come back to this house as just like a more responsible human being. Exactly. And then perhaps you can also patch up some things with your mom on the way. Yeah, fuck that. Okay, never mind. Yeah, that's available.

If you do have that offer on your character sheet, think every junkie has one offer. If they want to cash in that chip, that is available to you. But then I can never use it again, right? That's the one time. That's correct. And if you fall off the wagon again, then it's, well, that's real rough.

He doesn't get that back if he sleeps for eight hours? No, no, no, no. A junkie gets one offer of support. The second chance at life ticket. Yeah. It burns if you use it. It burns up and then you can't get it back. That's interesting.

That's a very difficult road to hoe ahead if he should fall off that wagon. Minamore, I'm going to use it. I'm going to use the second chance at life ticket. Sure. That's fine. You're going to go ahead and call your folks. They're going to send a cab to pick you up. Great.

And you might be out of the game for a little bit. I don't know. It depends how quickly game time will we want to pass. But you may be, you're going to be at Willa Creek for a while. Yeah. But then I'll come back with zealots rage. That's correct. I will have that, you know.

Before he leaves, as a good luck charm, I have a thing of bubbles. So I'm going to give him a thing of bubbles just as good luck. Oh, great. I drink it before I get in the cab. Yeah, that zealots rage, you'll either discover religion or vegetarianism or super-duper left-wing politics. Great. I can't wait to roll for that.

And the rest of us are off to the job fair. Two men in a baby getting into all kinds of jobs. Two men and a baby, that's not as exciting. While you guys were sleeping, I sucked all the gas out of the gas tank and tried to sell it back to the gas station. He pulled me aside for a special role, and it was an 18. So, yeah, there's no gas. Is it?

All right. And he eventually, he immediately parlayed that money on cheap booze and like a dime bag. Very well. Sorry to make your life more difficult, but you knew what you were getting when you let a junkie live under your porch. Then let us perambulate to the job fair. Looks like you boys could use a ride. Oh, well, I guess Mr. Roply is offering a ride.

She's got a large Pontiac 6,000 L.E. station wagon with wood paneling, which would be enough to fit everybody. Someone has to sit in the back and the seat face is rear. No, thanks. I hop on a dragonfly and speed off. You want to roll for that? Yep, that's a night. You got it. You're on Dragonfly. You could have just ridden one of your discs over there.

Damn it. Hayden? Yeah. Should we take a ride from Mrs. Ropley? Yeah. Let's do it. I'm sorry about your room. It's all right.

And now we're off to the job fair. And as I'm on my Dragonfly, I look back at the house that we own, and I think of like, what would it be like if that house were alive? Like, what is life as a house? Holy shit, we're finally off to the job fair. I wish I knew more movies I was in. Or Annie. That was fun.

But again, I'm sensing an unknowable arcane force. Coming through the podcast feed, Fear not, listener. My magic will protect us by translating it for us. Usador the Wizard, aka John Bastion, was played by Matt Young. Chunt the Talking Badger, aka Danger LaGrange, was played by Adel Rify. Metamore, the office manager, was played by Bill Arnett. Doyen DeVille, the trickster god, aka Mr. Ropley, was played.

played by Zach Thompson. Clacks the skeleton, aka Ron Bingo, was played by special guest, T.J. Jagadowski. This episode of Offices and Bosses was produced by Annie Neckamp, Ryan DeGeorgie and Evan Jakova, and edited by Chris Raffchin with production assistance by Garrett Schultz. The Offices and Bosses logo was designed by Al-Lavann with a theme song composed by Andy Poland. Oh, what happened? How was I? I'll continue to steward us through this break, but in the meantime, don't forget, you can go to hello from the magic tavern.com or patreon.com slash magic tavern to become a patron and support the show. We can't do it without you. But we shan't leave you empty-handed for this support either. Nay, in fact, you'll receive two

new bonus episodes each month, a monthly newsletter, the full-backed catalog of over 100 bonus episodes, and many other benefits. Until next week, Fair listeners. feels like solving a puzzle. One moment you're cruising along and the next, there's a shipping snag that has you scrambling. But here's a surprise you will like. With Progressive, small business owners save 13% on their commercial auto insurance when they pay in full. So go ahead, surprise yourself. Get a quote in as little as eight minutes at progressivecom.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Discounts not available in all states or situations.