Hello From The Magic Tavern - Patreon Unlock: Offices and Bosses S2E2: Witch Roommate

Episode Date: June 8, 2026

Enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon! Claudia the witch joins the game, as the players visit a job fair.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Use code OFFICE to save 70% on your first month of support. Want to gift someone a Magic Tavern Patreon membership? You can right now at this link!Credits:Arnie, aka Hayden Christensen: Arnie NiekampChunt, aka Danger La Grange: Adal RifaiUsidore, aka John Bastion: Matt YoungMetamore: Bill ArnettClaudia the Witch, aka Marilyn Beef: Beth MelewskiDorian Deville, aka Mr. Ropely: Zach ThompsonBimblebrat and Grixley: Members of the Drunks and Dragons PodcastProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandOffices and Bosses Logo: Allard LabanProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzNew T-Shirts in the Merch Store!Follow us on Bsky, Instagram and YouTube!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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just subscribe to Everything Everywhere Daily wherever you cast your pod. Once again, Usador is here to free Season 2, Episode 2 of Offices and Bosses from Behind the Paywall. It originally debuted in April of 2018, and all of OMB Season 2 takes place about halfway through Season 2 of Hello from the Magic Tavern. But who cares? For you can experience all of Offices and Bosses by going to patreon.com slash Magic Tavern and becoming a patron. In fact, the first episode of the brand new offices and bosses season five will be coming out later this week. Awesome.

Any other blanks in your sheets we need to fill out? We're ready to go here. I think I'm all set. I spilled paint on a lot of my sheets. So if there are things I'm missing, I can't really tell. Sure, sure. Well, I was thinking we've got a fantastic fantasy realm to be in. This is a large multinational tech company called Incist Tech.

And everyone's going to be, uh, when we start playing this game for real, day one on the job at INCISTech. Ooh. In, insect tests. Insect, inset test. How do you, um, how do you spell that? I-N-S-Y-S-T-E-K. Insistech. Ooh, T.

Okay. I was expecting the K. Integrated systems technology. Whoa. Oh. And technology with a K. It's going to be a lot of fun. Stick around after this episode to learn more about Patreon

and how to save 70% off your first month of support. But for now, let's play Offices and Bosses! Fear not, marketing manager, IT professional, sales rep, and temp. I am office mail. Your guide in the realm of offices and bosses. Hello from offices and bosses. Guys, I still feel weird nuts.

Just starting an episode with Hello from the Magic Tavern, which is the podcast that this is sput off from. No, but this is offices and bosses. You're right, this is offices and bosses. Season two, and you're Usador the wizard. Yes, I am Usador. Wizard of the 12th realm of Ephesius, master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical delights,

devour of chaos, champion of the... Great halls of Taracas. The elves know me as Fianelik. The dwarves know me as zoning and hoaxedenges. Time to change my dikees. I am known in the northeast as Gasmline as Mesa. Oh, but friends, when I play offices and bosses, I am unemployed marketing manager, John Bastion. And speaking of glass anus, uh, Chunt, the Badger.

What the fuck? You're playing a one inch baby. What is that? That was, how does that terrible? To transfer to glass. Anis. Well, you just said you had to change your diaper. I don't know.

Oh yeah, I did say that Yeah But nobody stopped to change my dippy So I just let it ride Can you change yourself? Yeah, I guess I can I am a shape shifter None more can you change himself

He's gonna have to roll for it Okay, that's a One But I am a baby So that's a negative three That's correct Yeah, and as a trust fund baby You've probably had nannies and things

We've done all that stuff for you Yep Yeah Yeah Valerie and Richard Were my two Caretakers No concept of natural consequences for your actions.

My mom's name is Donna. But who's Valerie? My caretaker. Oh, I see. But my mom's name is Donna. Do you know what your father's name? Donna Tart. My father's name is, I don't dare call him by his first name. Oh, his name must not be spoken.

His name is Mr. LaGrange. Oh, Mr. L'Grange. But my mother kept her maiden name. Which was? Oh, Donna Tart. Yeah. She had the most. Beautiful bird.

Yeah. It doesn't matter. I don't really. I'm just agreeing with things you're saying. But I'm a little baby. I'm a one-inch baby who's a DJ. I should talk like that. Does that sound good?

Sure. I'm a little baby. I'm a DJ baby. My name, Danger LaGrange. Look, Trun, here's my question about Danger LaGrange. You're a trust fund baby. Do you think we could use your money to kind of help us out? Maybe none of us need to get jobs.

Maybe we just need to get access to dangerous trust fund. But I don't get the money until I'm 22 years old. Oh. How old are you now? 20. What? You're 20.

I'm a baby. Oh. I'm a one-age baby with a big dick and I'm a DJ. This is quickly turning into a deeply problematic Wayne's Brothers movie. I created a very simplistic character. All I ask is that you respect my character choices. It's fun to slip into this fantastical world. That's true.

I would like to say, and this. This is unlikely, admittedly, any listeners who are new to the show and haven't listened to Offices and Bosses Season 2, Episode 1, I couldn't even really begin to tell you, explain to you like what's going on. It's quite simple. We live here in Foon and we play this game, Offices and Bosses, which is a fantastical game that allows you to take on the roles of marketing managers and corporate executive officers and, oh, copy room assistance. all sorts of magical roles that you can take on. And then in this world, you fight to keep your job and go to your office from nine to five. Oh, but in the expansion we're played now, you can be unemployed. That's right.

And Metamore, who is also here, our office manager, maybe you can explain this expansion a little more? Well, yeah, in the expansion, not so much your office manager so much as your caseworker for the unemployment fund. Yeah. And what's that called? The money you get when you're unemployed? Social security. She's called unemployment.

Unemployment. Oh, yes. Duh. Thank you, Doreen. He had to add a mint to it. Yeah, Dorian DeVille is here. For a favor, he did for me. Come to think of it, I'm not sure why that milk jug was on that shelf.

Do you know anything about that? Not a thing, not a thing. Never would I ever seek to hold something over that. is dragon born. I believe you. Well, when we left off last week in our adventure through unemployment, we were off to the job fair.

One of our players, Clacks, was playing Ron Bingo, and as a junkie, he rolled a natural one and had a complete collapse. He had to play his ticket to get his offer from his parents to put him in rehab. Yeah,

second chance at life, he had to play that. We have a new player, and I was thinking, maybe on the way to the job fair, your landlord's wife, Mrs. Roply, was driving you, and perhaps I don't know if you want to have Claudia introduced. Yeah, I'm so excited that we're being joined by Claudia the Witch, who's going to play offices and bosses with us. Hello, fellas. How you doing? I'm doing great. Had a little sciatica, but that's all cleared up. Oh, that's good. You know, I feel like I haven't seen you since the Dark Lord's birthday party. It was a big Now you hear you're kind of drinking like crazy.

I've been laying low, both health-wise and party-wise. Oh, sure. Yep. Going to church, two days a week. Really? Mm-hmm. What do you worship in Fun? Like, what is your church?

Oh, well, I worship the giant witch. Oh. Big hat. Big hat? Mm-hmm. Big hat, the giant witch. Oh, that's her name. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, I just thought she just had a big hat. Praise be. For my world, a lot of religions are based around the leader of your religion just having a big hat. Yeah, that makes sense. I will say, I mean, no offense, but she's kind of a big hat. Oh, she's a big hat? Yeah.

Yes, I'm not a fan of bigotry. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. Well, Claudia and I met earlier, we rolled up a character for her unemployed character between projects, if you want to say. And I figure perhaps you could pick her up at the bus stop or something on the way to the job.

her and she could adventure. If you have, that's all right with all you all. Sure, absolutely. Clock you. What was the name of the character you're going to be playing? I'm going to be playing Marilyn Beef. Maryland Beef. Maryland Beef, Unemployed Lunch Lady.

Oh, okay. Looking for work. Serving a beef or whatever else you got. It doesn't have to be my namesake necessarily, but whatever else you got, steaming in a sterno pan. So even though he, Your last name is beef.

You can serve other foods. Whatever I want. How interesting. I mean, I prefer beef, but, or beef product. Oh, wonderful. And as a lunch lady, you have the power of Kurt delivery. And if you tell someone something, well, then they're probably going to believe it. That's true.

Kurt delivery, both in mouth and in hands. I have very small hands. Excellent. Fast delivery. Yeah. Here's your food. Get out of here. Okay.

And they will. They will. Yes. That could come in handy today at the job fair. Yes, agreed, agreed. Very well. So is she already in the van with us? I'll say she's in the station wagon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice to meet you. My name is John Bastion. It's nice to meet you. I'm Marilyn Beef. Oh, wow. I'm going to change my voice. It's so fun. It is fun, isn't it? That sounds like a Marilyn Beef. Hi, I'm Marilyn Beef. Well, Marilyn, I just wanted to say we're very glad that you're going to the job fair with us. Me too. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty.

I've got to say, I both enjoy it and I get slightly uncomfortable when I see people entirely descending into character. What makes you uncomfortable? I don't know. It's a role-playing game. I don't know. It's a role-playing game, and I get that, like... If someone decides to make a big choice, then why would that bother you? Here's the thing. I'm kind of with Ernie. I know, right. Hey, guess what, guys, it's still me. Oh, okay, few.

And it's still me whenever I'm speaking like this. It's just a voice I put on. Don't be weird about it. This is beef. This is John. This is a baby. And this is Mrs. Ropley. Here we are at the job fair.

Everyone out. Thank you, Mrs. Roply. Oh, my legs numb. I tie up my dragonfly to some sort of post out front of the job here. Sure. You want to roll die for that? Okay, that's three. Okay, flies away.

Is that a baby knot? It's terrible knot and it flew away. Should I offer to help Marilyn Beef's leg? She said she has a sore leg. My leg's numb. Oh. If you'd like, I'm not sure if you have, if you've had any HR training and dealing with. No, I never did any HR training.

I have a box of Band-Aids, though. Okay. Will that help? I understand that heals people. Band-aids are more for lesions and things. I'm not sure. I have an open sore on my chin. That would help.

Yeah. Here, I have a special item here. It says that when my baby character plays with a female, that I can pacify her. That might refer to something else. However, as a baby, when you do, you do have the ability to calm anyone, really. Great. You want to roll for your cuteness there. That's a 17?

Right, yeah. You love playing with that baby. And do I have to roll to put the band-aid on? Yeah, let's go ahead. I'm a little beef baby 16 great great awesome oh my chin's better and oh I've never had kids you're so cute

Wiki wiki wooo I try and search the far reaches of my brain to know what weeky wiki means sure go ahead and give a roll for that okay that's a 12 great you think it means I've had so much pain in my life it's nice to have something happy I hope this baby doesn't experience the terrible things that I did

oh wow yeah that seems about right. From my experience, yeah, I think that is about right. I don't want to roll the dice or something. Can she roll first to see if she has access to those dice? Yeah, that seems about right. From my experience, yeah, I think that is about right. I don't want to roll the dice or something. Look, can she roll first to see if she has access to those dice?

Yeah, she certainly can. As a lunch lady, you probably feel like you haven't accomplished a lot in the world. And to go to this job fair, I may take a lot of strength, let me take a lot of courage. You want to see if you can pull yourself together and do things. All right, here we go. Snake eye.

Hey, all right, 16, yeah. I got confidence. You got confidence. All right, let me put on a tie. Oh, wow. Take off your hairnet. Take off my hairnet. Tighten up my bolo.

Let's go. Well, you have a tie and a bolo? Double up. All right. Makes quite an impression. Thanks. They both have modifiers, I'm sure, so you'd want to wear them both.

I don't think I'm wearing any. I didn't know if this job fair would require me to wear any fancy clothes. I'm, I'm... You're just wearing brown robes? I'm just wearing brown, my brown MFA Jedi robes. And you have a, what is this, a rat tail? I have my hair. Look, it's kind of very, very short, except I've got like a long string of hair in the back,

which is the source of my power. That's a weird look. Not for MFA. Well, there may be some negative modifiers when we get in there and start talking to some hiring managers. But as you approach the jobs fair, I think the first thing we've learned is everyone is late from staying up watching movies on cable. Yeah. Which reminds me, guys, we were going to give content warnings at the beginning of this episode. What are some of the things that people should be wary of that might happen in this episode?

I'm probably going to poop myself. Ditto. I'm going to throw up. Oh, all right. I have very little concern for the cares of your. audience, but should we tell them that there's a one-inch baby with a 20-inch slong? You peaked at my sheet. How'd you know it was 20 inches?

Until this moment, it was going to just be subtextual. Well, when you said it was a very good role, I could picture a baby on a dragonfly dragging a huge penis behind. Let's just say I have one D-20. Oh, Lord. They've been warned. Okay, yeah, all right. I'll probably reference something regrettable.

So, regrettable, R-A, it's rated R-A. regrettable arning. Well, the job first started at nine, as you recall, and you're getting here now. It's 10.45 when you're arriving. So you've missed regular registration, having stayed up and Hayden Christians and unplugging the alarm clock, as I recall. So you'll have to go to the registration table. Everyone will get a penalty having to try to register late. And I believe our registrar is here now.

Name, please. Danger LaGuange. Danger LaGrange. Yes, I heard him say Danger LaGrange. Go on through. And I start to walk because it's going to take me a while, since I'm one inch tall. Hayden Christensen? Hayden Christensen. Hayden Christensen. Hmm. Let's see. Years ago I knew someone named Hayden Christensen. Oh, really?

I shall let you through, even though I believe you to be an imposter. Skit. Next. Maryland Beef. Ah, Miss Beef, I'm very familiar with your work. I hope you find gainful employment today at our job fair. Here I give you my card. I am Brian Denahey. I am the proprietor of this job fair, and my recommendation shall buy you some extra chit with everyone.

All right, I got a business card. I'll put it in one of my ties. Be sure to write that on your character sheet, A Brian Dennyhee business card. That's going to give you some good modifiers. Okay, thanks. Brian Denahey, I am John Bastion, mid-level marketing manager.

Yes. Recently unemployed. Who can't afford no gas, dropped off by his landlady's mother from what I understand. Herumph? Good luck today. To all of you.

Thank you. We all made it in. I was afraid moment we were going to get stopped. The way he said that made this job fair seemed kind of ominous. Kind of spooky. Kind of, yeah, spooky. You actually are at the Haunted Job Fair.

Oh, no. Are we sure it's a ghost and not just that cardboard cut out? Haunted is an expansion industry. Oh. Hmm. Very well. I head off to the marketing section. Yes, there's an area of some booths set up,

some businesses looking for people to market their Halloween pop-up stores. And I head off to Ghost University to see if they need someone to serve noodles. Or if you can just get someone to ghost you. That too. Sadly, ghosts don't need food. I think I see one of my dad's friends, so I make my way over to them. Sure, you want to roll die and see if he recognizes him? That's 16.

Oh, he does. He's happy to see. Oh. And I go, do you know who my dad is? Yeah, you're Mr. Lagrange's little boy, huh? That's right. And he wanted to know how you were doing. Or as my dad, Mr. LaGrange, would say, how, how, how, how are you doing? Well, I haven't seen him on the links for a while. Hope he's not too scared to be at the club after I destroyed him by three strokes.

Just because my dad had three strokes doesn't mean you can't golf anymore. He'll take you down once he gets better. Well, we'll see about that. about that and I back away. Do you need a job? You're at the job, do you need a job? Yeah, I guess. Okay. Wouldn't it be like my personal assistant? Yeah, so I'm good. Okay, let me roll a die here.

Yeah, you're offered a job as this guy's personal assistant. Great. How much are we talking? We'll start you maybe at 40. Maybe 45. Roll a die. Put that one. 19. Ooh, you'd drive a hard bargain.

If your dad didn't have three strokes on one golf game, survived. I mean, he shrugged off the first two. and then it was that third one on 18 that did them in. It wasn't for that. I would not be offering you a job. I appreciate it. All right. Well, it was just that simple.

Baby Danger is already gainfully employed. Yeah, I'm not entirely sure I understand how this expansion works. Does he win the game or lose the game if he gets a job? Well, it's got to be able to get through the introductory period of his job. And it's crazy things could happen. And this is just a great example of when you come from money and you have money, instance easier to get a job. Yeah, can I be honest?

I'm not showing up for that job. Oh, baby. What? You gotta learn how to take care of yourself a little bit. Do something for yourself. No, that's what Valerie and Richard are for. Oh. Yeah, that's the danger of growing up with what you have.

You have no idea of what consequences are. Oh, I thought, this is the danger. Hmm? My name is danger. His name is danger. Danger. I just think someday you're going to have to learn an important lesson about relying on yourself.

No, I'm good. Hmm. Bimble brought, over here, it's time for our sponsorship announcement. Just talking to the thing. Grigsley, I have nothing to cook this evening. What should I do? Bimble brought you, silly man. You should order the Drunken Dragon meal delivery kit.

The Drunken Dragon meal delivery kit, what's that? It's not the same old spiced potatoes and roosters feet. You can get delicious things like honeyed orc knuckles and charred wing behemoth. Well, that sounds so good. Is it hard to cook up? I'm stupid. Anyone can do it. It doesn't take a wizard. And look at these great meals like ancient creme brulee with fresh Deva milk.

Yum. Hell wasp honey cakes. Ooh. And trient balls with a side of dog sausage. Oh boy! Well, whoa! Do they have my favorite food? The bean? Um... Yes? O'Re!

If you would like to get the Drunken Dragon Meal Kit, look into a pool of water and crumple up a leaf and say Drunken Dragon Meal Kit three times. You get your first free package of Vittles for free! That's right, look into a still pool of water, crumple up a leaf, and say Drunken Dragon Meal Kit three. three times. You know, I'm not sure what booth to go to, but, you know, I'm a creative, so I'm just going to go by the food court and just people watch, you know, inspiration for my art. The only booth that doesn't have a line to it is the Marine Corps recruiting booth.

What's this now? And as an art student, you probably had a parent who insisted that you straighten your life up, so you need to roll to see if you can resist the lure of the notion of having a, a, a, a, a together squared away life that the Marines could provide. Oh, no, yeah. My father really always did want me to have a little more... I thought you didn't have a father. Didn't you just have a mother?

What's this now? Didn't you just have a mother? Yeah, I have a dad. You and McGregor. Oh, okay. I thought he said he's a father figure. Your role was pretty low, so you're going to have to at least spend some time talking to the Marine Corps recruiter.

Oh. I hope they don't come from my... rat tail. You're going to have to lose that rat tail if you sign up for the Marine Corps. Oh, all right. I'm going to roll again to see if I can resist. I got to maintain my rat tail. All right.

You're starting to realize this is probably a bad idea. But you can't quite pull yourself away quite yet. You can't walk away without a free pair of socks and a t-shirt. That's going to carry a lot of weight. Someone who needs socks and t-shirts to roll for you. Yeah, you can't resist. You can't resist the socks and t-shirt. Oh man, those socks are not going to go with these robes.

I'll just take down your contact information and I'll be in touch repeatedly. Oh, no. May I make a suggestion? I don't want to met a game. Sure, sure. Arnold. Yeah. Why don't you use your Jedi mind trick?

That's right. I've got to use the fine arts. Wait, before you do that, can you roll to see how much miniclorian you have? Um, sure. Let's see here. This is a question mark. I don't know. Sorry to shoehorn that in.

I just was curious. Yeah, if you want to use the power of the fine arts here, to wrench yourself away from the Marine Corps recruiter. Okay, I'm just going to start writing a poem on the side of the recruiter's booth. What is this now? I don't know, but I've been told. Wait a second. This is way too appropriate.

I like your word. I like the cut of your jib, pal. I hope to see it real soon. Oh, no. Everything I do keeps bringing me closer and closer to this. Maybe I am destined to join the military. Arnie, what were you told? I don't know. But what were you told? There's only one way I can find out. You join the Marines? I'm joining the Marines. Godspeed. Mrs. Beef, you're going to the Ghost You? I'm going to go to the Ghost University booth. I think I spy a vice principal. I had an

fair with because his ghost wife was in a wheelchair. I'll be a roll the die here. Yes, it is. It is the vice principal you had an affair with. Oh, all right. Let me fix my perm. Oh, hello, Charles. Why? Marilyn, tis so nice to see you. Thanks, it's nice to see you too. You smell like cilantro. Yes, I... Very in desperate need of some beef.

Charles, I'm going to pull my Brian Denahe card. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a Brian Denahe card. And I'm looking for work. We're going to roll the dye there. Yeah. Two plus five on that Brian Denahe. Nice.

Nice, okay. It's a 19. Well, welcome aboard, ghost you. I have to tell you, my ghost wife has since passed away. Oh, wow. Oh, my gosh. Our dalliances won't be as exciting anymore. Does that mean she's alive?

She's corporeal again? Busted. Yes, she's back alive, and so the sex isn't as good. That's all right, Charles. I'll do my best to serve rice like white on rice. Great, we'll see you Monday morning, 9 a.m. Oh, where are my panties? You don't have to roll for that.

I'll let you just do that. Oh, thanks. Sure. Guys, did we all get jobs? So far, if John Bastion was to bring this on home here, he said we were going to go to the marketing table for those Halloween stores that just kind of show up in vacant stores from the month of October. Yes, and I am handing out my resume to all of those stores,

and I also tip my hat to them in a gentlemanly fashion. Oh, is that a fedora? Yes, this is my fedora that I taped back together. Oh, that's right. happened the last adventure year for Dora was burned and defecated upon, I believe? Yes, I believe it was in bad shape. Yeah, yeah. Do these Halloween stores need marketing?

Yes, they're only there for a month. People have to find out about them. Well, it's nice to meet you. Looking over your resume, you've got a lengthy resume. May I ask why you're out of work? Oh, well, I tried to kill my boss. Really? Mm-hmm.

Okay, let's roll a die here. Okay. I think you better move on. It was at a holiday party, if that makes a difference. Which holiday? Oh, it was just, you know, a winter solsticey, Christmas-y. Not Halloween? Oh, it wasn't a Halloween party.

I'm sorry. But I love Halloween, and that's why I definitely... When you open with, I tried to kill my boss, will you hire me? You know, that's a rough. That's rough. Yeah, but, you know, I was a bad boss. It was an evil boss. Mm-hmm.

And I don't stand for evil. I know, I don't cotton to evil. Okay. A lot of evil involved in Halloween. Mm-hmm. But you're not evil. Maybe I am. Hmm.

Well, it was nice meeting you. Certainly, certainly. We're all the die here. There's a lot of negative modifiers here. You are not offered a job. You're not offered a job. Okay. Can I try the next booth?

Well, it's lunchtime. It's going to be able to break for lunch, and you can meet up with everybody and discuss, and then afterwards, another quick round of trying for another job. Okay. Well, everyone, I'm sure everyone's struggling like me. I couldn't get a job. I got a job.

Afterwards, another quick round of trying for another job. Okay. Well, everyone, I'm sure everyone's struggling like me. I couldn't get a job. I got a job. I got a job. What's your job? What's your job?

Got a job. Okay. You guys all got jobs? What kind of jobs did you get? I'm going to be a personal assistant. I'm going to be a top chef at a ghost of you. I'm going to be a Navy SEAL. Wow, that's really incredible.

Especially considering you talking to the Marines. What's this? Nothing. John Bastion, there is a way to save the situation. I mean, you realize you're going to be out roommates. No way to pay your rent here. If you've got any sob store you can pull together, as a marketing manager and you'll get your plus one on your foot door to try to

well I hope you guys I know it takes a little while to get that first paycheck so you're welcome to stay with me for as long as you like because I haven't gotten a job yet and I'm doing my best to like keep it together here because I was used to a certain level of comfort in my life I had a certain lifestyle I had made for myself and it's got to be Hard? Let it up that go. I'm just going to need a roll here. I want to see if we can resist.

Yes, you can resist that story. Now, as a baby, you do have emotional matching, which is going to be tricky. You're very empathetic. Gotcha. When you see, I don't know, that most of it. It's a 15. 15 minus 5.

Yeah. You're pretty suede. Okay. Pretty swayed by that story. There may be some other modifiers in there, but, yeah. Marine Corps, Hayden Christensen. Ten? Ten.

It's tugging at your heart. strings. It really is tugging. Let me roll one. It's a 19. You're going to take that job. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the story didn't really work. So I hope you guys want to stick around. You know, even once you have your jobs for a while,

you know, feel free to stay. Since you're crying, I'm starting to cry. Yeah. You know what? We can't let baby danger go out into the world by himself. Yeah, I mean, baby, it's cold outside. Yeah. We got to take care of the baby.

Do you want to move in? Although that phrase should really be gone. You should really do away with that phrase. Baby, it's cold outside. No, we should really go. Baby, it's cold outside. I really need to go. The phrase needs to go.

No, baby, stay here. The phrase can't stay. The phrase should go. The baby, it's cold outside. Yeah, but the phrase should go. It doesn't make sense to say this. Well, why doesn't everybody come over and I'll make some milky beef tips.

Beef tips. Oh, that sounds lovely. We'd love that. All right. If you need a roommate, you know, there's probably a room. Our other roommate moved out. Oh. Or died.

It's unclear yet. All right. Well, yeah, I've been sleeping in my conversion van. Would under a porch be better? For a baby? Or for beef? Not a baby. There's another room.

You don't have to sleep under the porch. Oh, thank goodness. Our old roommate. Ron Bingo slept into the porch to save money. He also threw me out with the bathwater. It's true. I like a real room with hot running water. Well, if you'd like to move her in, that's fine.

She can be a fourth roommate, especially if she's going to make those milky beef tips. Yeah, the specialty is milk. Oh. Sounds really good. Non-homogenized. I'm interested. Straight out the cow teat.

I like milk from the tea Well, I'm glad you decided to move in Because my character, John Bastion Is in love with you and we'll meet you at midnight At midnight Meet you at midnight I will meet you at midnight All right

I'll have my home perm curlers in And smell like chemicals Want to suck on an amulet Yes, we want to suck on amulets Glania, I have a quick question for me It's slightly outside of the game Yes. Have you ever thought about changing occupations?

I know you run your store amulets and incense. Yes. Well, I thought about being a counselor at one point. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Like counseling teenagers or? Counseling young children on how to get out. Get out of what?

Any bad situation. You've got a bad situation. You come to Claudia. Because you'd have a lot of experience. How many children have you lured and ovens? Oh, gosh. Well, that's the thing. I'd have to turn my whole life around, and I didn't want to do that. I still want to lure children into ovens. Yeah. So I decided incense amulets. I can still burn up a couple of kids that way.

Sure. Mm-hmm. Turn them into tasty gingerbread. Note to self, don't order the gingerbread from your store. Oh, but frosted, it's so good. Oh. All right. Well, I suppose I didn't get a job today then. Yeah, and no one is able to resist your story, so all the job offers will be declined.

So everyone's back to unemployed, back at living at your apartment. Well, another day, I suppose, we'll attack again and we'll come forth and be victorious over unemployment. You did get to make a business contact, thanks to Maryland Beef with Brian Denahey. And there could be an odd job opportunity, and when you're unemployed, any odd job, they may come up, is always something. a welcome, a welcome thing to have happened. Oh, yes, odd jobs. That sounds fun. Yeah, yeah.

So I want to play with your hat and throw it. What, my hat? No. Just felt right. Well, Marilyn, I don't you want to move in to the apartment. Yeah, I got a futon and a box full of trophies. Oh, what were the trophies for? Best in show.

Oh. You used to show dogs? I used to show beef. No. Flanks. Flanks on flanks on flanks. Mm. You know.

Sounds a lot like that movie we watched. Some salted, some not. And you got the trophies. That wasn't on our character sheet. That's legit. That's legit. Yeah. Pretty impulsive.

I'm really liking this. This is fun. Clani, you're really good at offices and bosses. I mean, Usador's been playing this game for decades and you're doing better than him. I don't think that's right. This is great. I feel real kindred with Maryland beef.

Yeah. Usenor is doing the worst and you're doing the best. Ha ha, Usenor. By what measure am I doing the worst? You couldn't get a job at a store that's open for 30 days. All you were able to do was to drag all of us down with you, except for Claudia, who's doing so well she was able to resist it. Well, that is unfair.

Either we all succeed or we all fail. That is the way the game is played. Well, you know what? Let's agree to disagree, and I angrily storm into John Sebastian's room and slam the door on him. Oh, I'm going to poop my... Oh, roommates. You don't have to roll for those things.

I'm just going to let them happen. Very well, then. And I tie a string to John Bastion's cardboard cutout, and I turn off the lights except for one in the cardboard cut out, and I move the string left and right to make it look like it's dancing in the window. So that people think there's a party going on. Sure. Yeah, well, people do, and let me just roll...

Yeah, Mr. Ropley sees that immediately. Oh, no. That's coming out of their security deposit. New parties. Oh, I'm a baby. Maybe we'll eventually get a new landlord. It'll be more of an apple dumpling gang guy. I was just trying the most regrettable reference I could think of.

And it worked. Brace thine selves as I continue converting and protecting us from the unknowable and terrifying magics of their main podcast feed. Oh! Oh! Mr. Or the Wizard, Wizzard, aka John Bastion, was played by Matt Young. Chunt the Badger, aka Danger LaGrange, was played by Adlerfly.

Claudia the Witch, aka Marilyn Beef, was played by special guest, Beth Maluski. Metamore, the office manager, was played by Bill Arnett. Dorian DeVille, aka Mr. Roepley, was played by Zach Thompson.

Brimble, Barat, and Grigsley, were played by members of the Drunks and Dragons Actual Play D&D podcast. This episode of Offices and Bosses was produced by Ani Knee Camp, Ryan DeGeorgie, and Evan Djikova. Episode edited by Chris Rathgen with production assistance by Garrett Schultz. The Offices and Bosses logo was designed by Alan Laban with a theme song composed by Andy Poland. I'm back. And you can go to hello from the magictavern.com or patreon.com slash magic tavern to become a patron and support the show.

For the next four weeks, you can save 70% off your first month of support by using code Office, O-F-F-I-C-E. Then you'll receive access to over 100 bonus episodes with two new bonus episodes each month, Discord access, plus opportunities to interact with the hosts through monthly newsletters and a quarterly meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. The meeting greet on Discord. The meeting greet on Discord. The meeting greet on Discord.

The meeting greet on Discord. The meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord.

A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. A meeting greet on Discord. They meeting greet on Discord. The meeting greet on Discord. The meeting greet on Discord.