Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 100 - Big Mittens Game

Episode Date: March 25, 2019

Rick Picklesmith invites our hosts into the press box for a Mittens game between the Hogsface Poisoned Blades and the orcs of the Dark Lord. CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungRick Picklesmith: Rush HowellFlower: Brooke BreitOoze: Paul GrondyAxelrod ReMax: Mark McConvilleChamblin Bunnycuddle: Matt GourleyBaron Ragoon: Chris RathjenDaphne the Unwed Mother/Squibbert: Sarah ShockeyMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the country's most exclusive boarding school. Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Binge all 10 episodes of Academy, early, and ad-free on Wondering Plus. Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts.

No, I said sunflower seeds on the side. These are sprinkled all over the salad like World War Two paratroopers over the French countryside. Take it back. These prison waiters are a crime onto themselves. Now I've used up all my prison rations for this phone call, and that means no access to the empanada card for a week. But I've got to keep these transmissions going. Computer begin transmission. Also, research recipes for homemade empanadas using toilet water and your cellmate's stolen dream journal. And welcome back everybody! It's Rick Picklesmith here at a fantastic game of

mittens! It's the Hogsface poison blades up against the orcs guarding the town of Hogsface currently. I believe managed by the Dark Lord and the score sits if you haven't been with us for the last six days. It's a bit a bit of a slow one. But the score currently sits 2100 in three. That's what the Orcs have so far to six. So that means that Hogs faces got the pot and play at Flower all the way across a 2009 yard field six times. The Orcs have done it three, but they've got three birds. Now for those that missed the most exciting action so far earlier, Chad, the human zoo, Potato Man, so named because he's a shaman famous for a

Tractic animals kind of it is a general direction and that is an extreme talent in the game of mittens were catching a bird who were 700 points so the human zoo has been up to his old tricks attracting birds throughout the game over the past six days he's attracted hundreds of birds most of their carcasses littered the wizard attacks at other fan interference, but he's managed to catch three birds over the course of six days. It's 2100 in three to six, and we're back now with the next segment. I believe it's gonna be our last segment before half-time, thank the good lord.

This segment's brought to you by Skittles. Shorter Skits. Very funny half the time. Skittles. Now then, I'm funny, half the time, Skittles. Now then, I'm super excited to announce and we've got a great group in here. We still have on the sideline, our sideline wizard, Yusidor, down on the sideline, and my understanding is that I am contractually obligated

to allow a mysterious full day, but every segment, so let me kick it down to Yusidor, sideline wizard. I am Yusidor, Wizard of the 12th thrill of a feces master of light and shun. Manipulator of magical lights, devourer of chaos. Champion of the great halls of trocace, the elves namiis being alak. The dwarves namiis are in hook stangies, and I am known in the north east as gasmaniace

maistar. I'm very excited to be here today with you Rick. That's great to have you down there, you've used your door to be kind of a slow game so far, anything that's particularly stuck out to been kind of a slow game so far. Anything that's particularly stuck out to you for the field of play so far. I thought it was very interesting that the Basque chose to learn Squibbish.

Oh yeah, that was an interesting play. They call that the monogu defense and it was a pretty popular back in the 1830s. It's a lost language who speaks Squibbish anymore. Yeah, just the Squibs. I tell you what, I was excited to have in the 1830s. It's a lost language, you know, who speaks Squibbish anymore? Yeah, just the Squibs. I tell you what, I was excited to have in the booth with me right now. This is a great treat. You know them from their podcast, and you also know my friend here,

Chant, from his podcast, getting nuts as well. I've got with me Chant and Arty, really excited to have you guys at the booth. Oh yeah, baby, so great to be here. Yeah, hey, I'm Arnie. Do I speak into this magical? excited to have you guys at the booth. Oh yeah, baby, so great to be here. Yeah, hey, I'm Arnie. Do I speak into this magical? That's right, that's right. We're coming to the whole world via horse blood.

This is audio that comes right at you. Wizard puts your face right in the horse blood. That's right. The wizard slot is the horse, and then you can hear us talking. But there's all sorts of people coming at you from the walk and pop, from the magic box, anything you want. So I guess I had heard in the past that people sometimes

watch these games in Wizard Blood, I didn't realize that you also broadcast into big puddles of Arnie World's Blood. Or live right now broadcast. We're live. Look, let me tell you something, this has been a great treat to have you guys here. And one thing I like to do, oh, oh, I got to stop for a quick second.

There's a little bit of action. The human zoo is trying to get a bird out there. Oh, no, no, the bird was incinerated. That's going to have it a lot, folks. That's really the bulk of the game. Uh, now one thing I like to, uh, like to do when I get some guests up here is I like to air a grievance. Okay.

And so what, uh, what we do in this segment, we each air aggrievance about someone who is in the booth or on the field earlier by. I'm going to start out and I'm going to take this out of my wife. She's not here, she's not in the booth or in the fields of immediately violated the only rules I laid out. But let me tell you something, my wife is really been frustrated me lately. Mrs. Pickle Smith is just something of a stickler for whether or not we are traveling over the speed limit. And I gotta tell you lay off about the speed limit. Traveling how I'm sorry to interrupt Rick. Can your horse go 55?

Yeah, that's right. And so I've got but I got to get up my horse said, you know, she, this is what really frustrates me Is I get on my horse and she gets on a slightly taller horse and I'm so tired of her getting on her high horse If you know what I mean and she's on her high horse ask her to get off her high horse That's what I do and she's like you gotta you gotta slow down and I'm like get off your high horse So anyway, that's my grievance, but you're up here. Chuck. I'd like to hear a grievance You have you can air it about anyone anything. Um, I mean, it's not about you personally, but I will say it's semi-annoying that a lot of people who are here at the game will come up to the booth, pound on the booth, um,

sort of windows here and just yell, I'm Pickle Smith Rick. It's just very annoying. Um, I understand that people wouldn't mimic you and you have a wonderful broadcasting voice and you're very well respected, but it's just kind of, it's very annoying. I understand that people wouldn't mimic you, and you have a wonderful broadcasting voice, and you're very well respected, but it's just kind of, it's just annoying. Yeah, no, I don't care for these Rick Picklesmith yells, and they're not aware where they get the words in the rod. Yeah.

And like Pickle Rick and all that. Yeah, it's just, yeah, I mean, let it go, right? Yeah, we all saw it. You know what I mean? Arty, what's, you've got a grievance. Uh, you hear it. Yeah, you know, I guess I would say my grievance is against the dark Lord who imprisoned Hogsface again and betrayed us and, you know, is forcing us to have this game where the orcs seem

like they're cheating and demoralizing people Hogsface. Uh, yeah, yeah, that's a nutshell. That's my grievance. Well, that's petty and trivial. Let's kick it to Yusudor. Give me a grievance. Side-line wizard. This is Yusudor. Wizard of the 12th realm of a feces master of light and shadow.

Maybe later on, magical light, devour of chaos, trapeant of the great halls of Trockus, known to the elves as fying a lot, known to the dwarves as Zonen Hukeseng. A known to Middens fans as Aaron grievance. a known to middens fans as Aaron grievance and known to middens fans as Aaron grievance and I would like to air my grievance against the manager of the Skur buzzards. They had a great season this year, but they came in first place so they can't play in the cavalcade. That's right. That's exactly right now.

It used to door big Skur buzzards fan wearing a Skur buzzards jersey down there, which is not very impartial, but you know, hey, what the hell? We got to kill some time, right? Wait a second, we got some action on the field. It looks like Clark Farmington. It's got the pot away from the basket. Clark Farmington, one of the hillsman for Hogspace, goes by the nickname Half-Man, Half-Amazing,

which is more literally should be Half- half chicken because he's a half man He's got tiny chicken legs, and so he's going very slowly. I can't tell if that's a an insult or a you know To say that somebody's half amazing. I don't know how I would take that. I tell you what it is amazing that he can cover any ground Given how tiny those legs are in relation to the rest of his body, which is Corpulent with respect to the top half. How's doing now on a good this guy confused with the guy with half a cock? God, I don't know this guy.

What's that is not fantastic. That's like someone should air a grievance related to that. But I tell you what, we got, oh, we got some exciting stuff. We got a little bit of a break in the action because it seems like old clock farming didn't fell right down, which is usually what occurs given the incredible difficulty of balancing his top half with those tiny legs. And that is gonna allow us to go down onto the field

where I believe Yusidor's got a live interview with Flower, the potted plant from the Hogs face, Poison Blades. Flowers, wonderful to have you here. Yes, Father Grapey here. I've been working out. Just like spend my time and you know, how much I was in the sports until I got here.

And then I was like, I feel like I found my true self. Is there anyone you want to speak to out through the walk and pop or through the horse motor blood or say anything? Is there anything you want to promote? Are you shilling for anything today? No, man, I'm just living in the moment. I'll tell you who I want to talk to you is that fucking basket. Are you seeing those hands? Oh, I haven't been touched like that in a while and I feel like when like that was six times, man.

Yes. Six times that basket. That basket was robbing every part of me. Nice straight up. That basket is robbing. I mean,. I straight up, I'm asking if Rob. I mean, I was told you think that was. See, it was six times across the field. Took a long time to get there and I was like the whole time. I mean, it's your corn. Oh, slow.

Well, six times you made it the whole way, but I'd say there were upwards of 30, 31 times that I don't have that. You watching this? Well, yes, I'm watching the whole game. You fucking sick of? No, no, I have to watch the whole game. Hey, well look, the whole crowd loves it.

They love it. While I got you though here, Flower, this seems like a great time to play a little game that I like to call Mary Buck Bill. All right, and this is where I went out and scanned and I'm gonna give you three last names. And you tell me which one is most affiliated with the first name Mary, which is most affiliated

with the first name Buck, and which is most affiliated with the first name Bill. Quail Love Games. Alright, the last names are Poggle's, Rampersand, and Stuart Master Antonio. Wait, what was that? Say it again. So you gotta match that last name to a first name, so the first names are Mary Buck and Bill Famous Game Mary. The last one is 100% Mary. So we got Ples we got rampers and then we got Stuart master Antonia

Stuart master Antonio is definitely Mary okay Poggle sand we got poggles Poggle is a rampers and that's right Fuck Bill we're in person Was the other option that was bug goggles. I'll tell you what you got you went what you went one out of three from bill and was the but you went one out of three that's not so bad

it turns out that uh... of all of the poggels eight percent of the name but which is worth a did the other first name but it's bill met

steward master antonio he's the only one that we can find that's the only steward master antonio and then marry rampers and and so now the back half is when you play Mary Buck Kill is you got a pick of those three one that you would like to live the rest of your life with one you would like to have intercourse with and one that you would

like to cease the life up okay so okay um the one with the long name the three names that's right fuck them good they guys die the one with the long name the three names. That's right. Fuck them. Good. They guys die The one with the Wait, it's fuck them. They have to die You have to choose I have to pick one for each. Yes, that's right. I thought I was just picking one name and then I'm like Oh, fuck damn we got it. That's fine. It's great. It's just to pick the one that you want to fuck that That's how we put it bill bill was the one with a long name Bill Bampishan bill Stewart master in Tokyo. That's

Fuck Bill Mary Buck that's right and kill Mary that sounds good to me see I'd kill Bill Just from revenge. Oh my god. It looks like we've got a great we've got a great treat here We've had come right off the field because the accident come right off the field Sorry Oh boy six times at least walking right off the field not to be confused with the couple of the field Is it not other than one of the hogs face? Poison blades and this is ooze

Oh of the hog space, poison blades, and this is ooze. Ooh, right turner. Great to see it ooze. I noticed that you've been down there trying to distract the referee for a lot of the game. That's good work. I've just come up and hanging out underneath them, they're hanging out with loads, I can go. See if he does see if he steps in me.

It's a good idea. Well, you've slowed him down by expanding your substance across the field. You're trying to make myself very, very thin. Spread myself very, very wide in this case. I've found the exact thickness. I can keep myself flexible enough in case some bird falls to fall in me and they're right

liquidity they are free. I just came again. I'm speaking of liquidity Rick. Excuse me for interrupting but speaking of liquidity I just noticed that the baskin for the org team has started doing everyone's taxes and is trying to find tax loopholes. No, that's right. That's one of the many tasks that a basket does. A lot of times that the tax work that is done can lead to an unexpected victory. And so a lot of baskets traded a lot of different ways. You know what? Well, I've got you

to do it. I'd like to go to another little segment that we like to call serial or serial killer and this section is brought to you by murder serial a serial this good should be illegal murder serial brings you serial you know how to play this used to right name something it's either a serial or someone that is murdered many people using a specific modus operandi that is then led to them being referred to as a serial killer. So I'll name it. I'm excited. Start the clock. You tell me. Murder cereal is my favorite. Serial or serial killer. We start with spicy banana. Serial killer. Correct. Next up is apple crisps. Serial. Correct. Next up is Apple Crisps. Serial. Correct. Next up is Lizzy Wadsworth. Serial.

Correct. Alright, you're too good at this game. You said, Oria, you're never gonna... I'm never gonna stop you. Let's go to... Let's go to Chunt. Oh, I can't... Start the clock.

You said we got it in three walks. Yeah, he sure did. Alright, the fat ghost. Oh, the fat ghost. I wanna say... At ghost. I wanna say say my dad We're looking for cereal or

cereal or cereal killer um Cerecular Trick question. It's both there's a there's a cereal named after the famous serial killer the fat ghost now I'm hungry for fat Ghost flower going to you. yeah. Chucky bomber. Is that a cereal or is that a cereal killer? Serial killer. That's correct. Chucky bombers.

Oh cereal. That's right. That's a tough one there, but of course, Chucky bombers, the delicious chocolate wafers, serve not with milk, but with a thick, dark, gooey chocolate, comes in a bag. Oh, yes, squeeze that shit out. Pour it in a bowl, suck it down, Chucky bombers. Okay, tell. Aw, yes, squeeze that shit out. Portable, suck it down, chocky bombers.

Okay, tell you what, already, am I interested in anything? Because you've never been to a vintage game before this game. I have not. I have not been to any middens games now. To be fair, middens hasn't been played in Hogsface. Most of the time I'm here, partly because I threw the flower on the team off a cliff, shortly after meeting her the first time.

Oh, by the way, that's awkward flower. Any memories from that moment when Arne threw you off a cliff? Yeah, everyone went up and like, I damn eyes, I relived that moment. That's terrible. Old Mrs. Picklesmith threw me off a cliff metaphorically when she pointed out to many people that my zipper was unzipped in the middle of a public speech and That's another grievance. I'd like to air again She would hang out I feel like we would go along. He probably what's hanging out She's she's always searching for more female friends whatever that means. I don't understand It sounds like she's got a lot of male friends. I'm not binary. Rick. We have a call down on the field

I'm not binary. Rick, we have a call down on the field. Strindble, Siftwith has been fine. 400 gold pieces for heating up the air around birds, hoping that the hollow air in their bones expands, causing them to explode in a wide area. Unbelievable. I mean, that guy pushes the boundaries all the time, and it's good to see him get caught,

and put 400 gold into the pickle jar. Rick, can I ask a question? Yeah, of course. I used to play men's, but I'm a little confused about the situation with Clark Farmington. Now, if the orcs were to grab Clark Farmington and carry him all the way down across the field, would that be 350 points? Half a goal. It's an interesting point. It's one that's really played club throughout his career. Since he has half bird, I mean, that's technically because they're all over him.

That's right. So it's a great question. And for several years, there was a ruling that said, if you catch club farming, then that's where the half a bird. And believe you be, it was just absolute insanity down there. It was like, you know, just chasing him around, you know, like his tiny legs running as fast as he could. And so just a year ago, they no more catching clock for Armington. He's a player. God damn it respect him and you know, it spins good so far Good, maybe good aren't you enjoying yourself? What's this you enjoy yourself? Oh, I just started staring off into space

You haven't touched the peed nuts. Oh, yeah, it's nothing. I just still I don't want to know what they are Is it weird if I just blow bubbles into this horse blood? Astus I'm so sorry bird bird bird there's a bird very close to the human zoo The human zoo is about to get to my bird but nope. Nope. I'm centred by a wizard a nice little play there by ooze Seems to slow down the human zoo just as is attempting to catch that bird if we can there by ooze. Well, seemed to slow down the human zoo just as it is attempting to catch that bird. If we could get ooze. Man, he's really spread itself thinned it.

Yeah. Ooze, are you up here in the press box and on the field? Yeah. Turned out there to leak. When the pipe is cracked, that's when the ooze does their press work. Ooze, I can travel all over. Parts of me's on the field field and of course part of me. That's in the booth with you right now and just enjoying watching myself doing the best work that a news can do.

Ooze, I can't help but notice that the part of you that's on the field playing is just a puddle with a pool. It's no sort of like a cascading Effect over the use I am having him having a little trouble the Jersey sticking a little bit because it seemed to be intertwined with some flowers come Haven't said the best of us. You know, it's okay. Well great then As long as I'm not you know for the only one sort of this is it. Is that a phrase you thought you'd say this morning? Enter time with flowers come. Pleasant, huh? Who's been through a lot and who's surprises them so every day that he gets on the field, but right now, no.

All right. I love it. Who's a good scrapedy here for me. I gotta say, I, we're gonna do a quick round of ploppers. This is where I go around and I plop one question on each of you just a quick question you think about it Do you think as much as we love it? It'd be a better name for that thing. No, no, it's called ploppers people love it. It's called Rick Picklesmith's ploppers So let me go and plop what odd you chunt. How old should a horse be before it's really just too old You know what I mean like that horse is bad enough, you know what I mean? Oh Hi, this is not a question I want to answer. Um, how old is too old for a horse?

Yeah, it's your opinion. Not a fact. I don't know, 85? 85? Whoa, that's a lot older than I would have said. I love it. That's a respectful divorce, isn't it? Uh, you said, oh You're down there. You're a side-life wizard. Yes, this is use the door. Wizard of the Twelfth, Freddle, Move, Efeasius, Master of Light and Shadow. Many of you are a sort of magical lightest of our chaos. Champion of great halls of the pockets. The air-reliance. The elves know he's being elect.

The dwarves know he is a zone of hoax, thank you, and I'm known as an orthostus, gasmaneus, Mesa. Let me ask you a quick plopper for you, use the door. You're at a gathering with dwarves and elves. What do you go by? Zero killer. Oh, all right.

Oh, we got a flower down there. We got a quick plopper for you, Flower. Yeah, I got a headphone on. What's that? I'm on your field, back on the field, but I got a headphone on, I can speak remotely. Oh, that's a straight, you're being carried right now. They're trying to just very,

trying to get you 2009 yards, all the way down this field. Let me ask you a flower. Yep. If you only had five minutes to live, and in that five minutes you were allowed to overcome one social injustice, what you want, would you pick?

Fuck. Injustice. It's all easy. Wait, is injustice against me or a general injustice? I'd say general social injustice, but it could be what it's specifically that affects you. How is it specifically thinking of how a quick and murder the person that was murdering me

at that moment to like do a double murder so I could get them good And it would look each other in the eye and be like it should deal. Oh, I like that. Yeah, sure cans on it That sounds great. Oh, it's quick plopper. Oh Mountains with a beach for my man. Oh I can't disagree with that. I love them both. I'll tell you what, are they? Yeah. Where's the snacks? What's that?

Is there like a concession? Yeah, I got you some peanuts. And you got, are where are the not gross snacks? You go all around, the great stadium here. You'll come out of this booth. You'll go by where they're broadcasting in many different ways. You've got broadcasters here, the Magic Box.

You got the Warky Box. They're more broadcasters up here. Oh, yeah, multiple teams broadcasting this game across all of Foon. This is an exciting one. So we're made 2100 to 326. That's been the score for over a day and a half. Now we're approaching the arbitrary point

in which we call it halfway through the game. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Quick plopper for you, Arty. which we call it halfway through the game, they're good at this. They're good at this. Quick plopper for you, Arty. Let's say that you read into two statues, okay? And one of them always tells the truth, and the other one's got a running nose, all right? What's question do you ask the one

that doesn't have the nose running? Oh boy, good plopper. Here's the thing. If I do that, I say to them, say you run into two statues, and one of them always has running nose, and one of them doesn't, what do you say to those statues?

That's what you ask of the other side. So what you do is you twist the situate, you put it right back on him. Yeah, I believe me. What you did there was turning around on you put a little mirror right on those those two crazy statues. Yeah, I like it. So I'm going to, is it all right? I guess I never asked before. I know we're broadcasting into this blood. I also have my own mics from my podcast is that I have expressed written consent from Larry Bergman that I can record some of this. Well, yeah, you better. Rick, I'm sorry to interrupt again, but the Ork-Baskin has been trying to make a frittata for the last hour,

and the referees have declared that it's actually an omelet. I don't think this Ork knows how to make a frittata, doesn't care to make a frittata, he's going to let everything in his pantry and his cupboard go to waste because he's not Utilizing ingredients of it otherwise go bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I gotta tell you that you still I mean these orcs don't know how to play bit They certainly don't they straight up don't and it's a little frustrating to be I gotta tell you I'm an imbiore should live to the rim not sure if one team or the other would you know I mean but I gotta say that I don't like these orcs because They don't have to play bit and and and somebody and I think we know who seemed to stack their team with you know

They got like 20 orcs to barely know what's going on And they got like 11 players who if there's some of the great old players in mittens history I mean we got the bronze chic out there. We got the vanilla hammer as I already mentioned There's there's Chad the human zoo potato men who's just been dominated the game you got the fat ghosts You got the velvet rope you got the velvet towel wait the fat ghost is playing in the game the serial killer Yes, that's correct. Well, I didn't even see him yet. Oh, yeah hold on the fat ghost is a serial killer Is that a hog's face? Oh, he's got something all over the face. I'm sorry that reminds me my segment Stayar is all sponsored by fat ghost serial

I'm sorry that reminds me my segment. Stay our all sponsored by fat ghost cereal There's a known serial killer in hogs face all this time and he plays on the on the mittens team That's right. He's killed two during the game That's his famous modus operandi is that he kills opponents during Mittens games he shouldn't be allowed in the league in my opinion, but you know, Rick Correct me if I'm wrong the way that stopped the fact ghost is if you turn and look at him he'll freeze, right? But then if you turn back around, he can chase and murder you. That's exactly right. You can't move if he's under the gaze of any one person in any of the events. So as long as one person has made direct eye contact with the fat ghost, that's it for

him. And you should have remembered there are a few acceptable reasons that you can murder someone during a mid-inscape. Correct. Entering another player's line of sight without permission. That's right. Mispronouncing another team's name. And of course, if a

player has ever committed adultery, intentional otherwise. Wait, wait, wait. Entering another player's line of sight without permission without permission. So if you want to stay as a fact, Ghost, he'll freeze, but

the mini- young freezes The paradox but he finds a way yeah, he's gonna come at you and go That's right. That's his famous. He runs you with bales of hey in his hand And that's I know he finds away that will he that's how he kills his his victims as he shoves a barley Down their mouths. It's not nice. And like I said, these works have been pretty frustrating to watch throughout the game. And I'm pleased to see that it was made another excellent play out there. It's really unbelievably thin at this point, covering nearly the entire pitch.

Oh, maybe we'll hear his famous catchphrase. Lo-w-w-w-w-w. He say the wind. The wind. Well, he's he's moving like the wind for him relatively. I speedy relative for news. Yes. Well, you know, like any catchphrase you hear once. It doesn't really.

It's really the repetition over time that really you come to enjoy it. Now in a couple minutes, we're going to be joined by one mysterious anonymous, who, his himself, and owner of a mid-steep of the league, and we are contractually obligated to run some bloppers by a mysterious anonymous. Well, you know what, I have a little bit of a beef with a mysterious anonymous, so I'm just going to take my mic and kind of walk around the press back and see what else is going on. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's cool.

What's going on in here? There's a break in the action. This is Axel Vroad Remax with my guest commentator, Chamberlain Bunny Cuddle. Cheers and greetings to you all. Did you say that I'm Chamberllin Bunny Cuddle. Cheers and greetings to you all! Did you say that I'm Chandlin Bunny Cuddle? Yes, I did say it and of course I am. I will, Chandlin Bunny Cuddle. I love the ring of that.

Now I used to play in a mittensleek when I was a wee boy. Is that so? I was a boy who would wee? This match in particular has me all a wee boy. Is that so? I was a boy who would wee? This match in particular has me all aflutter. The action is packed. It's quite stunning to see one team of all prison wardens go against another team of nuns.

I believe those are just residents of Hogg's face. Whose homes we may be able to look at later on. All of them are nuns. None of them are nuns. None of them. They are then. No, it's, of course. The whole village is in Abyss. I don't believe it is.

I believe it is. I have to have faith. I will have to check with my sources. Just check with me then. Are they nuns? Yes. Well, it's time for my medication I'll read the straps and I'll steady the wraps give me a solid beat boy they're busy got a hot bike there we still here yet our booth no sorry okay sorry all right I'm back all right great so it just you know, Chant, it strikes me that this Mittens game is a metaphor for society.

Oh, wow. How so, can I? Well, I feel like you've got a Ragtag group of under-archievers who are just, you know, trying to do their best and get Hogs face outside of the grip of the Dark Lord, right? And then on the other side you get these orcs and these 11 very famous old old Bitton's players. And so I just let's say you wrote a movie. Okay about this. Okay.

If you're the director of that movie, you can give me the answer to these questions. Okay. What's the title of that film? What's the result? Like how does it how does it work out of the end? And what actor real or imagined would you want to play the lead who eventually is is the is the hero? Oh boy, I gotta I gotta say title for some reason just popping straight into my brain space is Miss Mittens. I like it. Okay. And I guess the way it would wrap up is that the titular hero in Miss Mittens, she wins the Mittens game. I love it. The Aka saves the world.

Very good. The actor real or imagined on the spot that I'd like to play Miss Mittens, I guess would be... Hero... Longly. Oh. Well, I gotta tell you that is a great name of a made up actress.

That one seems to be in your mind. Yeah, just Carol Longley. Carol Longley. Is that a real actress? Not that I know of. But when I'm stuck in this goddamn booth for years at a time coming on these Middens games, I really have no real reference left.

And Rick, I gotta say, this is stop action. I mean, oh, yeah, just stop action. Oh, yeah, that's right You know every man's game is a lot of stop action. I know yes, chunt. You didn't ask me But I would call it hogs face jam. Excuse me. Then maybe have it star Michael B Jordan hogs face jam What's the B stand for I don't know basketball? Yeah? Why else he gonna be He just gotta be Jordan. Flower quick, plumber. If you had to sell drugs to children, but you were allowed to use the money for a charity,

what'd you do it? 100%. You didn't have to keep going. If I could sell drugs to children in a fucking heartbeat, then maybe they should fuck up. All right, I'm gonna walk around with my microphone a little bit more. What's going on in here? Today's action is brought to you in part by Rose.

You can eat them, you can meet them, you can have a friend and beat them. And tomorrow's action, of course, is sponsored by Sorenson's leg amputations. Painful but effective. I know, I'm not just a client, I'm the president. And we're back to action. What a beautiful day for mittens. Not a rain in the sky.

There's the snap. Just unbelievable speed from both teams here. Wow! What a rollout of all sports... ...action! Lights are out! Someone turned out the lights! Oh, I'm having a flashback! Oh, it's in the clips. Oh, thank God.

It's over. That was fast. That was a rapid solar eclipse. Oh, this is the same one I was in before. Still got that hot mic, we can still pick that up in here. There are a repiglice bits broadcasts, we're still getting ARTI's podcasts coming right across it. Oh hey, I'm sorry Rick, was I actually broadcasting another broadcast team on your broadcast? Yeah, that's what was going down, I bet. Are there any legal ramifications?

Well, as long as you have expressed written permission of the mittens and the FML, then you're allowed to re-brock cast or retransmit any of the broadcasts that I'm allowed to do the same. Oh, cool. Alright. Now I'm excited to say I just noticed as we were going back and forth there, we've got a pretty interesting guest here. This is mysterious synonymous. And I was serious synonymous with odor of the hog's face, poison blades, is my understanding. Oh, yes, hello there, Rick. Thank you so much for having me today. Oh, well, it's great to have you as you well know,

these games last quite a long time. And I gotta tell you, I would lose my mind if I was here by myself. And Mrs. Picklesmith says I already have, you know what I mean? I do, I do. Well, Rick, I am ready to, you know, lift the mystery on who mysterious anonymous is. That is super exciting, but first a quick plopper.

Oh great, all right, you've got a body of water to get anyone and then pick a color, okay? And what, what do you pick? It could be the yellow sea, it could be the blue ocean, what do you got? I'm gonna do Lake Teal. Lake Teal, I love it, okay. Second plopper, chocolate or gibberish.

I actually love it, chocolate gibberish. You got to pick one of these two concepts is erased from humanity forever. Do we keep chocolate? Or do we keep gibberish? Oh, let's destroy the gibberish. You want to get rid of it? Okay, you got rid of chocolate? No one can ever have chocolate again, but gibberish remain. Chuck, quick, similar plopper for you. Would you rather have laws or triangles? Oh boy, laws or triangles? Well some triangles are laws. Holy shit, that's right.

Like a yield sign. Ohhh, buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh bu I couldn't decide. I couldn't decide. You should work. Yes. I was used to all. Wizard of the 12th realm of the fizziest. Master of Light and Shadow, an epilator of magical lights, devour of chaos. Champion of the Great Halls of Trucks, the elves, and amuse being gyalog. The dwarves know me as zone in a hook stangies, and I'm known in the northeast as Gaspini as me star.

What do you got for me, Rick? All right, you're not allowed to master, mate, but you can turn into a frog at will. Or someone gives you a box and says there's something pretty exciting in there. What do. Or someone gives you a box and says, there's something pretty exciting in there. What do you take? Ooh, ah, take the box.

Let's see. Well, you can do one to a frog. Master of the- I can already turn into a frog at will. And I do like to touch myself. So I'll take the box. Oh, pretty good. I had that very question posed to me yesterday,

boarding, and I gotta tell ya, I'm glad I took the box. Okay, now, we got down here, we've got mysterious anatomists with us, and I believe you said you were getting ready for a big reveal. Oh yes, well I'm just ready to reveal to all of your listeners. I'm sorry to interrupt again Rick, but it turns out that the Buddy Ghibit has decided not to go ahead and account the last bird taken by the org team. They looked at the exam and the bird closer and the bird is actually just squirreled in disguise. So that's 700 points off of their score. Oh my god, that is truly exciting. So the score goes down to 1,403 to 6. And I got to tell you that is amazing. So one of these crooked orcs dressed to squirrel up like a bird.

Cudrate. And, uh, and- Do we know for a fact that the squirrel didn't dress itself up as a bird? We don't know. We don't know, but I was very curious when I saw all those ground birds that something was wrong. There were a lot of birds running around on the ground running up trees. They had bushy tails.

Yeah. A lot of emus. Mm-hmm. Yeah, come to think of it, I mean, you know, I mean, the human zoo attracts all animals, you know what I mean? So when Chad, the human zoo, potato men, is running around out there, and animals are coming out of it, could be a squirrel, could be a bird. I one time, I'm not kidding.

Walking down the street, great blue whale just slithered all the way up to him. That thing must have been 20,000 miles away from where it was supposed to be. Well, Chad usually has an orangutan hanging off of him or something, yes. So it's not unlikely that these girls could have been brought up by him. If I could just jump in here and say, nature makes some grotesque mistakes constantly. Oh, yeah.

I didn't tell you. Quick blopper. Three animals that should never have existed. Horses. OK, two. Well, after 85. Yeah. I am going to say, um, um, um, llamas.

Oh, my god. The camel got wrong. That's what we call him in my household You know what I mean the llama is nature's Abortion no no and Lama eaters Oh, well, I that's a you know, I was gonna say that's wrong and stupid But now that I think about if you don't have llamas why would you do that? Yeah, I mean, really, you get rid of llamas, that problem solved. So as the mangos is to the snake, so too, the llama eater is to the llama. That was the password that we used

to get into my fraternity, back in my school days. Oh, my God, speaking. Where'd you go to school? I went to Duke. Oh, the Duke school? Oh, very prestigious. Yes, I was run by the Duke family, the toiletries, the dukes. Oh, very prestigious. Yes. It was run by the Duke family, you know, the toiletries, the dukes.

Oh, okay. That's where I was. That's where I went. I studied broadcast journalism while I was at the Duke school. Oh, wow. That was pretty good. Good, good, good Middens team there as well. Now, I'm excited to say someone is, is walked right in to the booth, which is a welcome thing that anyone can do at any point in time because I gotta tell ya I am bored. And here we've got, I believe this is Daphne. What? The pleasure should be mine, shouldn't it?

But it turns out it's just another day in an endless drudgery of just walking and talking. Arnie, you talked, is you on fire? No! Not with his words, but I could sense your soul needed me to creep in and put my mouth into the horse blood with the rest of the trough talkers. Did you soul invite her? Ah, I don't know what my soul's been up to. Okay, definitely, quick plopper.

You gotta get a tattoo. It's gotta be at least 15 words, but no more than 18. You gotta put it on your leg, what does it say? It says, every time that's one word, every time bears come, I want to leave, but I usually stay because I like bears a lot, a lot is too. Well, that's, I gotta tell you what, that's a good tattoo. How has come spelled? C-U-M-E Ernie's all stop it. He's flirting. I'm so happy And I pray on the unhappiness of an unwed man in this world

Oh no, John, I forgot that sometimes my natural Fraudboy humor can be interpreted as flirtation Quick give Rick a plopper Rick! Oh hey hey, yeah. Hey, if you had to tell him it's a plopper. Hey, if you had a punch, a feeling, what would it be? Tell him it's a plopper for a slopper. Hey, Rick.

Hey. I understand this random question. Hey, Rick. Just ask me a weird question. I'm just saying I'm dropping a plopper. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You're Rick. Plopper me this.

Oh, hey, it's a plopper. All right, now I'm in. What do we got here? Hey, uh, sorry, you're Rick plopper me this. Oh, hey, it's a plopper. All right now, man. What do we got here? Hey? Hey, what colors too far? Oh, I gotta tell you what Nice one in to go by the time I've gotten through Roy and G and up to the B that's enough for me Rick big Alright Mr. Hey plopper plopper. Mr. He's anopper. I believe you were in the middle of a key announcement. We're getting ready to reveal something or other, and I'm excited to hear that live here on the show for the first time ever. Oh yeah, there was just, I know there's been a lot of chatter around the league this year

over who Mr. Hayplopper is, and... Hey, maybe I just want to stop by and say hello, it's me Pizza Skull! Yeah! I love it. That reminds me of a quick plopper for you there, John. Alright, you've got a pizza, okay? You get to pick the first topping and then your greatest enemy gets to pick the next topping. Okay?

And then you're going to split the pizza. What do you pick is your topping? Raspberry. And then your greatest enemy, what do you hope they don't pick? Cheese. Alright, one raspberry and cheese pizza ordered up. Oh no. You really plopped into that one.

Here you go. Bapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap Hell! Hell! I've been pizza-ho! I've been down in pizza-ho clattering the bones of the pepper engines and wafting through the crust of mortality! That reminds me, Daphne. We never really resolved- What? What? Touched hands and stared into our eyes at the lake.

We could still do it, Arnie! I'm still in un-what mother! I can't, that's true. Daphne, we always suspected that maybe your... Dad and don't know it, do you? How can you tell? Is it a mirror that tells you whether you're alive? Is it the feeling of bedsheets? I don't have any. Don't have any feelings?

Bedsheets. Oh! I've been sleeping on just a bare plate of grass. Oh, that's all the stains. Oh! I've been sleeping on just a bare plate of grass. Oh, that's all the stains. A large plate that I got at a department store and then put some turf on and I sleep on it. Definitely, sir. Is there anything that we could do for you to kind of...

I already told her to plopper. Oh, uh, definitely. I got a ploppersition for it. I'm ready. Plopper. Um, if you could smile, why? I can't, because I've never had someone at my side who will bear with me through thick and thin. And if once a man could intertwine his pinky with mine,

I might then be able to creek out a move with my mouth that goes up and snap down. I'm sorry, I'm not athletic. It's the Dark Lord. What's that? What's a mysterious artist? Is that something to say? Oh, yes. The mysterious anonymous is a Dark Lord venture.

I have a plopper for you. Oh, a level plopper. Where's that nice little frog? Uh, she's on the field. Oh! Oh, she's being attracted by Chad, the human zoo. Potato Man. Look at that, that frog is just sliding right up to it

But you know it's just animal magnetism. Oh, I thought you were suggesting the Daphne should Involve with the dark allort. Oh, I mean if you're interested We are always accepting you know sometimes use the door. I feel like miss Picklesmith is the dark Lord You know, I mean a quick I mean I mean quick plopper for you there, Yusudor. About a year ago, she put into our bathroom a tinted glass around the outside of the toilet. Why would you do that? Well, you see sometimes when you cohabitate with her, another person, another entity, they don't want to see you in your most intimate moments, especially when those intimate moments involve feces.

So I assume she's done this to make the whole fair more pleasant for her. Were you leaving feces somewhere where she could see it? I tell you that is a thoughtful and helpful bird. Bird! Bird! Bird on the field! Bird on the human zoo has got a bird coming right at Holy! Holy! Here he goes, his hand is up! He's got it! He's got a bird! He is coming right at Holy, here he goes, his hand is up, he's got it, he's got a bird! He is coming! Seven hundred! Point!

To the Orch, that makes it 2,103 to sit open. Oh shit, oh Farmington, it's burning a barn. Well, it's a little late to burn the farm down because it's time for second snack. Everyone on the field is sitting down for second snack. Oh, where's it? Do we, uh, do we, uh, snack up here in the booth? I'd say what, you could have a snack. Oh, hey, well, hey.

You got all the snacks you want, because we are now at half time, and I believe the, uh, the half time locker room is, uh, for some reason, did the Vermilion Minotaur, not entirely sure why that is, but that's where it's set up. The locker room is in the Verm verbillion Minotaur not entirely sure why that is but that's where it's set up The locker room is in the verbillion but it's hard so you guys could go there. It joy half time. Oh, I think there was that zoning issue So, you know, I think we'll take a little bit of a break

I love to have you guys back on for the start of the second half I mean it could be 10 to 12 more days, so it'd be great to have some company for sure Yeah, and you know what? I'm not doing anything already. Okay. Yeah. I would just like everyone to know, especially, I mean, not a mysterious anonymous, particularly, but we're going to go down to the locker room and we will definitely be

back in the second half of the game. We are definitely not going anywhere. We're definitely going to be here. We're not using. Not going to fast one. definitely going to be here. We're not using a full enough ass one. Not gonna. I mean, hey, I get it. I get some people might be like, it's a big event. Everyone in Hogs faces at the game. Everyone is paying attention to the field. It would be a perfect distraction for an escape plan, but that's not what nobody is thinking that. Not one person. What everybody's thinking about right now is getting down

and getting some hold on what second. Let's see, getting some Ruskies brought to you by Ruskies. It takes a barley, you put it in a beer and you double it up and that's a Ruskie. So that's who sponsoring us here at Half-Time at Ruskie. Yeah, you guys, I noticed you were all wearing gloves and you got some shovels and other things like that. So that should be kind of an exciting half-time, whatever you guys I noticed you're all wearing gloves and you got some shovels and other things like that So that should be said kind of an exciting half-time whatever you guys are playing it

This is like a thing you wave around in the stands. Yeah, where the shovel boys shovel fan Yeah, play some shovel fence, right, you know, hey good times good time So have a great time down at the half time and you know, I'll, made Tady the broadcast as you guys to go down and, uh, can I ask, do you do the Skittles or are there, uh, pre-programmed Skittles? I've done some Skittles, uh, by time I, uh, used to work with a, uh, a group that did skits and then we said, no, that's shorting them and make them funnier. And that became the Skittles. So like blackouts.

Hmm, no, I was conscious throughout all of the skittles that I've done so not like a blackout but let me tell you what Mrs. Bigel Smith put a the kabash on the blackouts after about the second year of our marriage said enough you know I'd wake up I'd missing a jacket left my wallet somewhere those sort of things don't don't fly in the no fly zone Which is the pickle spith house. Let's take a quick break Hey, excuse us. We're coming into locker room. Do you want to flip up in here? Yeah, we're we're regulars at the Oh my god, I know y'all

Hey, Squidward. Yeah, I'm just all sweaty if If you want to get a lick, it's a good time. I'm all yet. I need to stay sober, but thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Very, very. Hey, oo, hey ooze. The wind.

You should hear it. I should, uh, I don't know, roll that first in my life. Yeah, you were, you were cooking. Yeah. Also, I got to say you guys been playing this game for days and days. This is your first break. You're out of left for a while to receive into the earth. Nobody really noticed. Part of another part of me came up or just sort of lay there for a little bit. But

actually I was down just by a foot underneath the grass. I left a bunch of times. That might be why we don't have a great score. Oh, yeah, yeah. You're getting your asses handed to you. That finished four books, though. And I got to tell you, reading is like so underrated. No, I get it.

You know, when I was a kid, I would play baseball, and I was an outfield, and I put my mitt on my head, when I was a kid, I would play baseball and I would, I was an outfield and I put my, my mitt on my head and I would spin around in circles. That's not a real sparring. No, well, is that what you're supposed to do in baseball? I mean, if you're not good. Wow, so I really feel fucking pumped and ready to go back out in the field after that.

You got any more stories to tell us? Oh, there you are. Do you have sports in your bloodline. Oh, oh yeah Arnie's dad was a great basketball coach. Oh, well yeah, I guess. Do you say you had an undefeated season? Well, I'm just gonna go moping the corner if nobody's in the corner. I could be a one-hour girl.

Arnie, that's your chance. If your dad was an undefeated basketball coach, you could coach the men's team. I guess this is one of those times when the things are looking their darkest and the team just need some kind of rousing speech. Hey, hey guys, hey team, I know it doesn't look good out there, but you know, on my world, I've seen a lot of sports movies. This is a joke in my world. In my world, sports wins you.

Oh, no, in my world, I've seen a lot of sports movies and usually what happens is things look like the team isn't gonna win. And then if it's a good sports movie, they redefine what it means to win. So maybe you're rocky and you're like, I don't have to win. I just gotta get through a game

without Apollo Creed knocking me out. Or maybe it's 10 cop and you're like, I don't have to win. I just got to get through a game without Apollo Creed knocking me out. Or maybe it's 10 cop and you're like, I don't have to win. I just have to keep hitting this ball a bunch of times. One game to play. Rocky said he's got to get through a game without getting knocked out. Boxing. He was just laying a block.

I've done that. I've done that too. More times when I care to admit, my favorite part of the speech is when you cut off the fucking ooze. Arnie, I pop up the energy. Oh, yeah. What I'm saying is, look, it looks really bad out there, right? I'm sure you're gonna do it.

But if you can at least survive the game, you'll be winners. Survive the game. Survive the game. Survive the game. Survive the game. Well, I made it. I made it to her. How's it going so far? Good, good, oh, and guys, you know what? I've got an idea of a totally different way to redefine a way of winning. We're gonna escape Hogs face.

Look, we got these shovels we've been digging a hole under the wall all week. For our stream, that. You saw the... Yeah, we've been talking about it all week. Oh, oh, okay We're in this fucking dude. This dude is fucking a whole okay. I was everyone chanting when I came in I'm a natural leader Question you're trying to pump us up for the game, but then you like forget the game and let's dig a hole Is this some kind of coaching strategy that your dad taught you? Also isn't squiver it with the Baron?

Oh, I'm neutral. I'm, you know, if we're all going in a hole, I might go in a hole, but I'm not, no guarantees of what I'm doing tomorrow, you know? You are coaching them, you are giving them like a rousing coaches speech. Arnie, this is why we don't do plot. Why don't I do the speech?

I do a rousing speech. Oh, man. Do you saw a YouTube rousing speech? Yes. Very, very rousing, and arousing. This is your opportunity to grasp fate by the hand and to lead it along a path towards your desire. Now, if we win this game and we escape,

we shall defeat the DL and make it arousing. And now make it arousing. And now make it arousing. And now make it arousing. And now make it arousing. And now make it arousing. And now make it arousing. And now make it all more than Shao Force ourselves to find a new life, a new happier life together where we can all live in peace. No, arousing. Lovely, and touching one another, making each other feel better by holding each other. Swisperies.

Who's liking me right now? There's me. Okay, that's fun. And then, and then, freedom for all the good peoples of food. Point of parliamentary procedure. Are we supposed to win and get our freedom? Sure, why not? But aren't we leaving through a whole? Well, technically you could do both, ooze.

Creep. Yeah, look. Creep. Yeah, look, I know. It seems like we're just running away and we're leaving most of the people of Hogs face still trapped here, but they're going to destroy my world. And I have to leave this laptop.

If the dark floor doesn't have this laptop, you can't destroy Earth. And then we can come back. We can figure all this stuff out later. And aren't there Rick Pettlesman here here who might be a good time to let you know Hot Mike your bike remains on where catching you up in the booth and broadcast against his literally almost everyone in all of food I was angry. Yeah, I was really enjoying the speech didn't want to interrupt now I feel bad because your plans have been outed on the Picklesman show quick-plopper

Would you rather eat a bag of bats or beat a bat with beats? Ha, I guess I'd rather be kind of a bag of bats. No, no, no, no, not a bag of bats. No, because beating a bat, the way, buddy, buddy, buddy, bag of bats. No, beat a bat with beats for the challenge. You know, all the ploppers can't be gold out of that. I do apologize to that one.

It was, it was, it was, it was, it was, Arnie, Arnie, I have an idea. Yeah't be gold out there. I do apologize to that one. It was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, Arnie, Arnie, I have an idea. Yeah. Since everybody heard what you said, turn off that mic. Okay. Didn't you say that you bird about a movie but never saw it called Victory? Yeah.

What was the plot of that? I can involve Sylvester Stallone and a bunch of Nazis and he just said, look, I don't know if we can beat the Nazis, but if I can just get through this war without a Pallow Creed knocking me out, it'll be as if I won. Should have noted earlier, still hot, Mike. Duh, should have pointed it out, but what did he hear about victory? Rick, can I jump in? Oh, you better believe it, Bisteri Sinatimus, you own the team, you own the booth, my man. Yeah, so I did want to make clear, although I got interrupted.

I am speaking to you today, I am Baron Raghun, I'm the steward of the Shrike Valley, and a representative of the Dark Lord. Kane confirm. Phony asked a chump. Cornie motherfucker. And I just want to thank Arnie for sharing the details of his plan over here on the hot mic. I can't remember how to turn these mics off. Yeah, that seems unfortunate. Quick plopper. If you were aware of a group of

resistors who are going to try to escape, what might you do with that circuit? Oh, first of all, I would engage them verbally if that was an option. I would also let them know that we're aware of their tunnels and while I had them distracted I would send orcs to surround them and then eventually break in and seize them. There you go. There you go. There you got your reversed hot mic there for your Arnie and we did with you know what turned about his fair play. He knows your plans, you know his plans. I mean in the best way I've done so many twists and turns Is that what the banging on the door of the vermilion minotaur? Is it for there's orcs coming?

It could be Okay, it's the orcs right now sometimes ploppos ain't hot but when they're hot they're hot Oh, this is the finale of season went all over again, aren't we we're out of time We just got to move this poster of tatani and we got our escape hole behind that flower Ooh, I got an inspirational speech plan. Does now the time? Now the time. Fuck it, do it.

Do it, you are born to do. OK, we got to get out of here. Arnie, I just want to jump in here and say, if you run away, we are going to kill everyone remaining in Hawks' face. Oh, blah. What? Baron, I know like your evil, the Dark Lord's evil, and you know, this is war, but you wouldn't kill everyone in Hogsface. Well, not me, I kind of count as like a special, protected employee, but he is dead serious,

I've seen his journal. And Arnie, I also need to tell you that running away won't actually save Earth. If you'll recall, there's another laptop we made a copy of yours. Oh shit. The peach. We've done so many episodes so it's hard to keep track of every little detail. It is a bit much. It's almost more confusing than middens.

Yeah, but okay fine, you have a copy laptop, but you don't know how to broadcast the podcast with it? Arnie, I have broadcast a podcast when you were in prison. You may not recall, but immediately after we took Hogs face before we could get you to broadcast. Shit. That's our thing. I know. We spent all that time digging behind that poster. I mean, we had to wait for Thunder.

Right? No, yeah. I don't know why you had made us wait for Thunder. We could just start digging. We always around. Yeah, I don't know why you hit me this week for thunder. We could just start digging always around Yeah, I thought I was gonna be able to save Earth and then later we come back in save hogs face I'm sorry guys. I thought we could redefine how we could win this but we're all in danger Right now we must do something everyone No, we lost you said are we lost we already lost no you'll never give up

Turn off your microphone. I have an idea everyone We must have no Whatever's do I'll turn it off like come here. I get it Start the clock turn it off That was a pretty good tricky pole there of you considered being duplicitous in favor of evil. Well, you know, my Mrs. Pickle Spissas I do that every weekend, yeah, but I call it straight down the middle. Just a mittens fan through and through, and you know a big fan of bringing the people what they want. Speaking of which, you had asked to have a final statement to the good people of Hogsface, and who am I to neglect my contractually obligated duties to you?

Alright, well, people of Hogsface, your day of reckoning is at hand. Any embers of hope you held close to your heart were a lie, and now nothing but pain and torment await you. And for the Earth listeners we have right now, your time is at hand as well. Find your loved ones, say to them whatever you wish to say, if you worship God's, uh, get that out of your system. Oh, the quick blopper. If you had one last thing to say to your loved one, what's it gonna be for you, Mr. Erie, is that out of us?

Ooh, ah, man, I feel, uh, hmmm, it was all for nothing. That, you know what I would say is Mrs. Pickle Smith? Fuck you. Yeah, I'm turning the mic back on. Use the rest of the dumb plan. What? I swear these rocks are magic. We're not just gonna swallow a bunch of rocks.

I don't wanna swallow rocks. You said turn the mic off. I thought you had like a good plan that we were gonna be able to escape with. Yeah, just eat these rocks. It's not me. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just eat these rocks. Stop me. Oh, ugh. Ugh. Bad. I ate my rocks.

Like a good boy. We surrender. Worm! Well, according to these prediction waves, there is another episode coming next week, and it might transmit a signal that will destroy two dimensions. I tell you not to listen, but this is the planet that keeps making more pirates of the Caribbean. Use it all the wizard was played by Mat Young.

Chant the Badger was played by Adolfie. Rick Picklesmith, the Middens announcer, was played by Rush Howell. Flour the Talking Flour was played by Brooke Bright. Brooke performs with the Jokey Cliptime News Hour, sorry, I mean World News Tonight, and the improvised Shakespeare Company, at Chicago's Iotheater. Oos was played by Paul Gondry. Mysterious Anonymous, aka Baron Raghun, was played by Chris Rathchin. Daphne the Unwed Mother and Squibbert the Frog were both played by Sarah Shocking. Her show, Marty and Sarah Love Wrestling, comes out every Thursday on the MLW Radio Network. The other Mittens commentators, Axorod Remax and Chamberlain Buddy Cuddle were played

by Mark McConville and Matt Gourley. You can hear them on Pistol Shrim's Radio and Super Ego, both on Stitcher Premium. Follow Mark on Instagram and Twitter at Mark McComville and for all things Matt, head to MattGourley.com. A low from the magic tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Ryan to Georgie and Evan Chakover. This episode edited by Chris Rathchin. I'd better be going before lights out. Well, first is lights down low and I am not missing out on the back rub circle. Zanthuscore, the triple serial monogamous, has pincers that turn the shoulder blades to jelly. There's some rather disgusting chance coming from the crowd today. Orcs, orcs, they eat porks.

None, none, sexy buns. I don't like that part of the game myself. I love that they have asless habits. And asless habits. Now we're talking. Literally, I'm talking. And I am too. This is Axel Rodriguez. And this is Saxi Chamblis.

Literally, I'm talking. And I am too. This is Axel Rodriguez. And this is Saxxy Chamblest.