Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 15 - But What About Flower?

Episode Date: June 26, 2017

We learn what Flower has been up to recently. Also, what’s taking breakfast so long.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungFlower: Brooke BreitMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. The following podcast is not real, but you know that.

Enjoy the show. Hello for the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie Neckamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is what's going on. About 2 years and 3 or 4 I've lost track 5. Has it been 2, five years yet. How long have I been here? 28 years.

What? Nah, it just feels like that. Okay, it's been, it's been here since some change. Two years and some change, that's fair. Anyway, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical fantastical land of Foon. Unfortunately, it's being taken over by the Dark Lord

who's imprisoned me and my co-hosts, and are forcing us to continue to do this podcast here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the town of Hogsface, in the land of fune. And I'm joined, as always, by my co-host and co-captiv, and also one of the guards, you're so many things. Chunt, the talking badger. Oh yeah, baby, I'm a man of many hats as we learn. That's true, yes. So many hats on top of that. That that. Oh, did I tell you last night? I had a nightmare. Do you not have nightmares for you? They're pretty rare breed, but everyone's while you know if you're out in the wild you can kind of Chase went down or catch it by surprise and ride it. Oh, I must have misunderstood what you meant

You oh you had a nightmare a A nightmare. Uh-huh. The horse of darkness. A nightmare? Yeah. Oh, I didn't sleep with it. No, no, I just felt like. Okay. I caught one, and I rode around town for a little bit, and then I let it go.

Wow. But it's very scary. It sounds scary. Yeah. Oh, give me nightmares. It was pregnant, and it gave birth. Oh. And I kept them, it gave me nightmares.

Oh, I see. What did you think I was saying? I don't know. Are you worried now that you had a nightmare last night? That tonight, you're gonna have another nightmare. No, I think, I mean, well, I have that litter of nightmares, but I gotta tell you, it's been giving me the worst dreams. Oh. And Arnie failed to introduce somebody.

Here's our other co-host, Yusidor. Oh, that's right. I am Yusidor. Wizard of the twelfth realm of Eph feasiest master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical delights, devour of chaos, champion of the great halls of Tarakas, the Holesnomi is fying Yag. The Holesnomi is zoning in Hukestangies, and I'm known in the North East as gasmoiniest maestar. World star.

And there may be many other secret names that you do not know yet. You see I got to ask you I was telling I was telling Arndog. Well, I have a little friend. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, even mean to you? We're in a magical land, there are no trains. What does that mean? That means when you take someone and you teach them how to do something. Oh. The fuck do you think it means? Okay. It's basically what we do with you all the time. Train you.

Yeah. I was using you, I was telling A-Train. I got this litter of nightmares. I don't know what to do with them. Should I raise them up? Should I set them loose? What should I do? Well, the best way to deal with nightmares is to just drink a warm glass of milk

Yeah, and then they tend to just run away. Okay. I'll do that because of your milk farts Oh milk farts are the worst. Have you are you at least feeding these nightmares? I'm sure they need nightmare fuel Oh, yeah, well my friend. I don't know if I told you about the other guard cockroach clown. He provides them my mere fuel. Oh yeah. I would imagine so. Yeah. Yeah. I want to know more about wheel bear. Like I told you, he's a bear, but instead of legs he has four wheels.

I mean, the bad thing about him. What else is there to know? The bad thing about him. What does he like? What does he do? Is he married? Yeah, I bet he's pissed off. Does he get pissed off if you were like, guys, how about you?

They're immune to him. Yeah, I'm not just, I'm not just a bear with four wheels. But isn't he, I mean, when you describe someone, like that guy sitting at the table over there, would you say like, oh, that guy over there, he's the one who loves feeding ducks. He has an interest in philosophy and he has a two story house.

No, you say that's the fucking bald guy over there, right? Yeah, but find people by their physique, by their looks., I mean the fact that he's actively having sex right now. Yeah That doesn't define him also guys. Can we talk to somebody to kick out the fucking bald guy? He's just constantly over there and look. I have no problem with the fact that he's bald wait You mean the feeding ducks philosophy guy? Yeah Yeah, but look he's the fucking bald guy How about this or we can go up the fucking philosophy guy. Yeah, either way he's gonna keep fucking but will bear I mean he's pretty gentle the bad thing about him is that as a guard All somebody has to do is give him a push and oh, yeah, you just don't see him anymore until he loses momentum

So yeah, he has his ups and his downs but I will say for a bear he's pretty affable like he's very he's very generous uh he get you know we're just kind of forming a little a little club you know we're all getting along I never thought of that before he's not able to create his own energy for locom Yeah, he's not breaks bare, you know, he's he's wheelbear, you know, that's sad What if I was just on wheels Hmm, then be cool as hell. Let's get you some wheels I wanted I want to be able to control them though. I wouldn't want to just be able to be pushed around on wheels So we'll implement some sort of breaking device maybe like a pedal or something

Yeah, but break in a pedal and then some some sort of engine that would drive me a forward Maybe if we put enough steam in a canister of metal. Oh, then I could get some cool looking goggles. Oh, yeah Yes, that would be wonderful guys don't fucking invent science. Oh, no, this is a whole I'm inventing a new costume I think we just invented fun. Look, you know what we should do which would be fun Let's catch up with one of our old friends. I'm very excited for our guests to have back on the show. Flower the talking flower. What's up, bitch?

Hey, hey, I don't appreciate that, but hey, it's good to see you. Welcome back, man. Welcome back, man. Thank you, I've actually been away to some time for myself and went on VK. VK. That's good, that's good. It's important to take time for myself and went on vacay. vacay. That's good. That's good. It's important to take time for oneself

to reinvest and I know health and well-being in mental state and how are you feeling now? I feel great. I took a solid couple of weeks down a Dawson's Creek. What Dawson's Creek? This is beautiful place. It's just like it's like young people there. They like dealing with a lot of problems.

But it's just nice to be there and to just take it all in and just hang out. It's like there's Dawson's Creep, or right next to it is the James Vandercreek. The what's the thing? James Vandercreek. Oh, the James Vandercreek. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. I find myself, I often get bored when I'm in Dawson's Creek and I'm just walking back and forth and back and forth. I get a little pacy when I'm down there. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, I've heard, and this is, maybe this is just a horrible rumor. I heard a lot of people throw themselves into Dawson's Creek to drown themselves because they don't want to wait for their lives to be over.

Full of disclosure, that's why I went there initially, but then I just fell in love with the place. Well that's good. That was charming, I was fine, it's good, messing people. Last time I was there, I was very disappointed that Felicity had cut her hair. Who? Felicity, she cut all her hair off. I thought she looked nice with long hair. Well, I'm gonna go grab a drink.

Feel like I don't have much to contribute to this. So yeah, I'm back, I'm used fine, it was great. What's going on with you guys? What's up? Well, not much, but you know, Flour, I'm just curious to hear how you're holding up. Now that the Dark Lord has taken over most of food and including imprisoning Hogsface

and turning it into a prison city. The fuck you said? The Dark Lord has the Dark Lord attacked and imprisoned all of us in hogs face That's not funny. No, it's not funny. Not certainly not as funny as everything from season one We so you guys are you're imprisoned right now. You're in a prison right now To be fair Arnold and Chuck

To be fair, Arnold and Trunk... Trunk is in a prison at all anymore, he's... A covers of God. And Arnold gets free reign of the whole place. I'm though they went truly still in a prison. Though I play the part of a weak, tyrant old man, they were giving me a magic-reducing potion. But now I don't drink it in my powers of a child, but I must pretend to be weak still whenever there is evil afoot.

Here's around a drink for everybody, and Arnie for you I got a two for loco. Well what? A four loco? What's that? Hmm, sounds terrible. It was in some holding cell that the Dark Lord has where he just has these items. I thought it was maybe something from Earth that you might want to do. Oh, whoa! This can does look like it's from Earth. Okay, it says for loco.

Earth is so tacky. Yeah, I thought maybe you found it in your car or something? I wouldn't have this in my car. Quick go back for a second and address the fact. All of food is taken over by the Dark Lord. Not all of food, but a large portion of food and definitely all of hogs' Fates. The town here is basically a prison camp.

But there is a resistance going on. Wait, did you really not know any of this stuff? No! How is that possible? How is that not know of this stuff? How is it in Darcy's Creek? Darcy's Creek is still free. What a wonderful thing to learn. I don't think anybody thinks about it anymore, and so it's just there

You know we need to go back we need to rerun there and Get in on that freedom. Yeah for the tree systems You can never go homes again. I shouldn't come back No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is oh shit Well if you got in you might be able to get out still No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, She's got a point. Yeah, he is scary as shit. I saw him one time. I swear guy was him. I like why was just on the street hanging out just Soaking up some sunshine This dude walk by and he was just like so I was like don't talk to me like that That's where I got was dark lord

Well you just stop So it's like dark lord. Oh really? Definitely you say don't talk to me like that and lived yeah, I don't think that could have been was it the dark lord? Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, And I was just like wait, we're hold on are you sure wasn't fucking ball guy? Oh that guy. Yeah. Oh yeah It was actually was that guy that guy. I gotta get him Man, is he still fucking still fucking always fucking always fucking? Well, I'm sorry this sucks Can I I don't know if I can just get like is clearly if I came in and out maybe I can just yeah Maybe you could show us how you snuck in, maybe we can sneak people out of town.

I mean, granted, when I move, it takes like a really long time. Yeah. And then I can travel, but just not very fast. For a long time. This. Yeah, you guys have about the same trip. Yeah. That's true.

So I mean, like, if you... I can try to relay what's happening somewhere else. You need that. Or like, if that guy was the dude that was rude to me, maybe the Dark Lord is not so bad. No, he's evil. He's evil and through. But we're sure about that. Absolutely. For I've spent many a decade,

I, nay, many a century preparing to defeat him and fight him. For he is not but darkness and evil and wrongdoing, and if we allow him to take over all of the food, then surely all the men and women in children of this land are doomed. I be the human or elf or dwarf of flower, all shall suffer under his reign." I guess so, like, if it hasn't really affected me up until now, like it doesn't really affect me now, so I mean, I'm so like if it hasn't really affected me up until now, like it doesn't really affect me now, so I mean, I'm just cruising. My guys, I mean, it seems like a horrible attitude to have,

but I gotta say, like, it makes me a little jealous. Like, I wish I could go back to a time when I wasn't like, from the morning I woke up to this moment, I won't go back to sleep thinking about the Dark Lord, thinking about, oh shit, oh my God, I can't believe how terrible things are now that the Dark Lord is taking over all of them. Yeah, if you just check out for a minute and you just like don't even make that a part of your reality, then it's like, we're cool, what's for breakfast, you know? Yeah, what is for breakfast? What's for breakfast, Donald? Well,

wait, am I in charge of breakfast? Yes. Have I been in charge of breakfast this whole time? Yes, for two years, I've been here for four or five months. Guys, I've never made breakfast since I've been here. We know. We know. I don't know. What do you want for breakfast? Ooh. Ooh, dearly sweet.

Finally, here we go. We go. No answers to this so well. Mm. So, what's a hot pressure? Yes. Make sure you're there. What do you want for breakfast?

Nice. Do you want me to throw out some? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Please, please. Take it by the time you're done. I think I'll know what I want. OK. Here's what I want. I want a waffle with a steak on top of it. Waffle with a steak on top. And then on top of that steak, I want Hollandaise sauce. OK. And then on top of that, I would like another waffle. On top of that waffle, I would like a roast turkey.

OK. Just to clarify, Hollandaise sauce is a one that's made I would like a roast turkey. Okay. Just to clarify, a hollandaise sauce is the one that's made from shoes. Correct. Okay. Two waffles, steak, chicken, and some hollandaise sauce. All right, I got it. Did he say hollandaise sauce?

He said hollandaise sauce. He's gonna fuck it up. This is gonna be terrible. You're gonna have to send a bag. I don't need to write this down. I got it all up here. Did you please write it down? No, please.

No. Could we get some water as well? Water's waiting, have I been trying to get him watered at this whole time? Yes. We are so excited. I'm sorry, but for two years, you've been waiting on me to bring you water.

I'm horrifically hungry. I didn't know, I'm so sorry, I didn't know. Wait, is this my section? Yes, this is the section. This is the section. Oh my god, hey, honestly, it's so... All the time, sitting at this table. Just know that when you leave your tip,

we'll reflect what, you know, your service. So, don't expect 20%. I have to say, the first time, Sean's and I came in here and sat down at the table, and you came over to take our order and started doing a podcast. We were shocked, but we got used to it. And then we thought eventually he's going to bring us something. Yeah, and you were very charming, you're very nice, and you talk

a lot about yourself, and we're just like, eventually, we'll get, you know, some menus or eventually, you know, but nothing so far. So patiently, we've waited for two years in some change. I'm so sorry. Can I take the rest of your orders now? Do you know you want to order? No, you go ahead. Do you know what you want? Because you take do you like a donut that you could cut in half and then like Make a French toast with the donut and then but then also be smoking a cigarette the whole time and blow it on it I don't really smoke but well that's what I want on it. I don't really smoke, but well that's what I want. Okay, so make a doughnut, cut it in half, make a french toast, and then brule a smoke on it. Well, could you make the doughnut first? Okay. Because it's time to make the doughnuts. It's time to make the doughnuts. It is

time to make the doughnuts. Yes, it's not now when. It's far past time to make the doughnuts. Okay. You're late on that too. And, what was your order? A water. And then, I also want a donut, but I want you to get creative with it. So, I want some sort of creative donut or like a cronat. Or a cronat. What's a cronat?

It's a creative donut. No, I just said it. I'm so sorry. Okay, great. So, creative donuts for you. And, and get creative with it. No, and a creative donut for you and and get creative with it No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't want two separate things. I want French toast made from a donut. Okay, a donut fronching a toast That's right and use it or you wanted steak on top of a chicken on top of another steak with some hollandaise sauce and also you wanted to feed the dark lord

Close enough. I'm so sorry to change wonder. Is it too early for lunch? Yes, let's say yes. Okay. Why then I sorry to change my order. Is it too early for lunch? Yes, let's say yes. Okay, why then I want to change my order? Oh, you do want to change your order? Yeah. It was lunch time, he'd still want that same breakfast. I want a grapefruit cut in half.

Okay. I want you to keep the best half. Okay. And I want you to put some salt on it. Okay. And then I want eight pieces of toast. Yes. Whole grain. I look, here's the thing about the half of the fruit. The grapefruit? The grapefruit. I'm, I'm clearly half.

Can I ask your manager, please? I don't know who my manager is. What? I'm sorry. And also, like, I haven't been able to find my own better half in a long time. Look, you know what, guys? I've got this fruit in half grapes Donut toast smoking yeah dark Lord chicken meat on top mm-hmm. I've got it all and Some of you won't water give it some extra butter to You sped checks And some of you won't water. Can we get some extra butter too? Can you sp- Ah! Can you sp-

Jacks? And we're back and we still don't have any breakfast. This is typical for this place. I'll be honest with you. I don't know why I keep coming back here. It's like service. Always shitty. Food.

Always shitty. People. Always shitty. Honestly, probably both fucking guy. That's why I come back. I said I hated him, but I meant the opposite. Hey, can I pull you guys on something? Sure.

Yeah. I've been wanting to come up with, you know, Arnie can't remember that I'm a shapeshifter. He always calls me a badger. Alright. So I thought to maybe come up with a word that's maybe more palatable, like it's easier to remember. It's easier for Arnie to, you know, remember it. And I was thinking, you know, usually for the most part, I'm an animal, and I'm also doing a lot of morphing. So I thought there was some way where I could combine parts of

those two words to create some sort of new word, morpimal. Morpimal, that's it. Does anybody know how to make chicken? How to make chicken? He doesn't even know they're an animal. You get to chickens to fuck! That's upsetting. You should know where your food comes from. Oh yeah. If you want to farm to table.

Yeah, like Roach to mouth. That's how I eat. Good thing Arnie isn't here because he makes him sort of ask to ask joke. Does anybody know how to cut a doughnut? My God. Who is he yelling to? He doesn't even know who he's manager is he's just cupping his hands and yelling out the back door He's literally asking everyone in town. Oh

Eventually does anybody walking by on the street? No, how to get creative with the doughnut guys? That's gonna lead to a lot of problems that fucking guy just don't walk me he's walking over on it he's walking over no that is creative oh he put it right in it oh that makes sense yeah that's not that creative philosophy guy I'm still gonna serve this oh it's mine I hope it's mine oh no flower once it flower once it yeah I want it I mine. Oh, no, Flower wants it. Flower wants it. Yeah, I want it. I feel like we should take, you know,

obviously we each have these little cones in front of us so we can help or review. We want to speak through our cones and leave a Yelp review. Yeah, let's do it. Okay. I've enjoyed coming to the familiar minotaur for these past few years. And I must admit that I've never seen service so poor as I have received in the last two and a half years I would prefer that they got back to using the boy who was annoying

But at least brought you the things you wanted also salad dressing is not really my favorite thing But their salad dressing is really good also Strawberries sometimes they have them when they're in season. I love strawberries. I like eating them. I hope they have more strawberries in the spring. They also have very clean bathrooms. That's mine.

How many stars? Out of how many? How many stars are in a nighttime sky? A zillion. Ooh, that's bad. OK, mine's in all caps. Fuck this place! I want to die when I'm here.

I keep coming back. Everything tastes like asshole. I give it negative one assholes. Okay, yeah, some star rating, some asshole rating. My review would be two and a half stars, would be four, but had to wait two years and some change for my breakfast. Waiter was terrible. parentheses name was Arnie. Although I will say that was creative with that man did with the donuts. Dictat donut was very creative. Dictat donut. Dictat donut. It seemed a bit obvious to me. To

Dictat donut. That's it. That's it., that do, from the look on his eye, from where go. I knew he was into Dung and Donuts. Like, he liked to dunk, he liked to dip. Of course, and he's cool a lot of the time, but right then, he was just doing the most obvious thing of putting his round peg into a round hole. He was taking that donut. You wish he did something cooler?

I don't know what the fuck he's on and that I also don't really care. Does that make me a bad flower? I don't, I- oh, finally. Hey, sorry guys. Hey, I'm a little behind today. Can I take your orders? Oh, you- oh, you're a car-order. How you kidding? You're a little usador! Flower, chunt! Oh, I'm sorry. Your stuff is cooking.

I doubt it. My stuff is cooking. I asked for a doughnut and water Well, here's a thing you guys why should today be any different from any other day? You haven't received breakfast any other day. Look, why don't you just sit here with us and let's just do the podcast? Yeah, let's start the podcast. No, no, we're well into the podcast. Wait, we've been recording this? Yeah. Oh, I am so sorry, listeners. But at least we got some upreviews. How do we tell you about upreviews? It's when you just kind of scream a little review

into this little horn here. That's why you guys have been carrying those horns around all this time? Oh, yeah. That's right. You'll scream a little review that no one cares to read. I scream reviews it. People I meet all the time.

And I tell a lot of service and you see people like hey Just so you know I hold up my horn. I'm like don't mess with me because I'm a yelp reviewer You know like I'll ruin you all this business will shut down make you feel real powerful Even though I'm a piece of shit even though I Like to do it to people for things that I know they can't change about them So I'm just like your face is too small for your face. Oh no. Well, Flower, thank you so much for stopping by. And I don't know what to tell you.

I guess I feel bad to have to let you know that things are much worse in the hog's face than you realized. Well, I guess like I said before, it didn't really affect me before, it doesn't really affect me now. I mean, yeah, sucks for you guys. Yeah, and thank you for coming with a million minutes, or I thought I hope you had a great stay. And if you had a positive experience, I hope you

would share that near a yell-per-view. I will be sharing nothing. Well, alright. There's nothing came to the table. Yeah. Well, I did have a donut, but fucking bald guy put his long john at. Yeah. John, do you got any name? That's his name, John. That a donut, but... Fucking ball guy put his long john in. Yeah.

John, do you got any mail? That's the name, John. Oh, is he a misjohn? Yeah, I have an email here. This is titled Book Club Suggestions. Hi there, Arnie Chon Yusidor. This is, uh, Halle from Portland. A while back, I sent you a copy of the Kubleros classic during Chon's terminal illness. Oh yeah, remember when I once died?

That's right! Yusidor, did you ever get a chance to read that book? Yes. Here are some earth stories about resisting oppressive political regimes for your book club. She suggests a V for Ven Theta by Alan Moore. 1984 by George Orwell, the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling and the anarchist cookbook by William Powell. Thanks, Halley. You don't

need those books, are you ridding those? I think I've read about half of those books. Well, tell us the good half, just like the grapefruit that I'm waiting on. The better half? I would say like the middle of 1984 and like most of the Harry Potter series. You're picking parts of books. So the middle of 1984, would that be like 942? Mm-hmm. I prefer to listen to my books instead of reading them. Oh really, how do you listen to them? Just bang them on the ground.

Fair to say, it's fine. I also have, it's time for another Banging Budsig, man I have a Banging Buds. That's right. One here, this is from Patrick Langerie, I also have, it's time for another Banging Bud segment. I have a Banging Buds. That's right. One here. This is from Patrick Langerie, and here is his Banging Buds submission.

Arnie couldn't know, that's what made it special. It was a secret, their secret. There's special time during those rare instances when Arnie was away from his precious laptop. They only had a moment, but a moment was all they needed. Yusador would cast a knowing look at Chunt and oh, how that look excited the changeling. And in instant, they were pounding on the table, shoveling the

sweet forbidden treasure into their mouths, moaning and ecstasy, and they would cast a deep gaze into each other's eyes, and leaning close to say, I'm Yusudor, and I'm Chant, and we're getting nuts. So we're eating nuts, that's what we're getting. That's what that was a good one. Yeah, I like it. Hey, you know what? I also have an email here. Things to shout. We also ask people to send us things to shout because we're not sure if we should replace Boy's Night and Boy's Year. Hey, gang. If you're looking for things to shout, I want to remind you of something that came up in one of the first episodes of the podcast.

Youngstain, the Elvish word for fuck it. Given recent events in the village, something that evokes rebellion and free speech seems warranted. first episodes of the podcast. Youngstain, the Elvish word for fuck it. Given recent events in the village, something that evokes rebellion and free speech seems warranted. Appropriating an Elvish word may seem less inclusive, but I think that it presents a rallying cry that all of Hogsface could get behind. The Dark Lord is conquered Hogsface and is slowly crushing the spirits of his denizens, Youngstain.

You're imprisoned and forced to do his bidding, Youngstain. One of your friends is going to put you in solitary confinement, Youngstain. Corey the Cunning, linguist at large. Is it Cunning linguist? Hmm. I thought we had already laden it on. Bwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepwepw That one seems very popular on Twitter. Now, Youngstain. I, if you have Youngstain. Youngstain. Also, I'd say that as a whole,

food is really above an oven. That's true, guys. We have a lot of expressions that we can consider doing. Yeah, through. Dig into the well. I also feel like, we'll talk about the origin of Youngstain or how to spell it. I feel like more people should say, you know,

maybe they're age after they introduce themselves. Like, hi, I'm Tim, old, or hi, I'm Matt Young. Like you just kind of say, you know, maybe they're age after they introduce themselves, like, hi, I'm Tim, old, or hi, I'm Matt, young, like you just kind of say, you know, what your, you know, your age is. Yeah, I don't know. That sounds weird to say Matt, young, it just sounds. I just would appreciate it. A weird combination. Because sometimes I can't tell how old somebody is, like, wheel bear, that guy could be 4,000,

he could be two. Two, what am I? A bear expert? So a lot of wear and tear on those wheels. Oh yeah. You are a child. You're a ass crumb about him? No, crumb. Never even thought to do that. I wonder if you ever fingered him. You guys can be hard probably to finger wheel bearing just for all the way. Be really hard. You need some kind of resistance, right? You gotta put them at the base of the hill.

Yeah, but those little blocks, my, my, these, videos. Youngstain, motherfucker. Youngstain, youngstain. Exactly. Youngstain. It's growing on me. 35 minutes quickly gone, the basic rules of narrative pooped upon. On their breakfast, our friends never snacked, because none of this happened, and that's

a fact. Use it or the blue was played by Matt Young. I mean, they shoehorned his name into the episode. They said his name. What more do you need to believe me, Elite Comey Memo? Chant the Guard was played by Adel Raffaier. Flower, the talking flower, was played by special guest Brooke Bright. Part of the recent parade of greatest hits until a new crop of voice talent moves to Chicago to start level one at IO. Or Kate Blanchett returns our call. Brooke performs all over

Chicago, including with world news tonight at the IO theatre. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neekamp and Ryan to Georgie. And from what I heard, this week they had it pretty much handled, but then Evan Jacoverth threw one of his trademark tantrums, a real Joan Crawford holiday spectacular, so now he's listed as a producer this week too. I'm not trying to drive a wedge between our production team. I'm just repeating what I heard and what everyone thinks. This episode edited by Chris Rathchin.

Yes, Craig, you've been gesticulating wildly for, without hyperbole, 500 million years. What is it? I wasn't just tickling, there's a bug in here. I was just going to say music by Andy Poland, logo by Aller LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz.

I guess the only other thing is to leave us iTunes reviews. It really helps the show a lot. Go to iTunes, give us a review with as many stars as you feel is appropriate, it's five. And, you know, I help out the show. And maybe actually the other thing is you could, I don't know, everyone seems to get fan art and maybe you could do some fan art of me, huh?

Some Craig fan art? That'd be fun, right? Um, I can't really show you what I look like I could explain it, but lately every time I look in a mirror, I get blinded by a bright red light and then I have to go lie down. So just use your imagination. Um, beyond matches, visit us at aloefromthictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter. Thanks to the Chicago Podcast Co-op and thanks to Earwolf.