Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 24 - Book Club: The Great Gatsby

Episode Date: August 28, 2017

A wizard, a witch, a badger, a flower, a Chicagoan and a humunculous made of bodily fluids all try to understand the Earth book ‘The Great Gatsby.’CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungFlower: Brooke BreitClaudia: Beth MelewskiMetanoid: Jorin GarguiloBungaree Chubbins: Tom GottleibMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Ad-Free on Wondering Plus. People of Earth In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I've been

turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, he told me, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had. Also, do your best to stop people from trying to discover other dimensions. Along those lines, none of this is real, and this special book club episode of Hello from the Magic Tavern should not be taken

as evidence of other worlds beyond our own. Also, hey, it's me, Crick. Also, I wanted to say there's gonna be a live Magic Tavern show in Chicago at the Music Box Theater on Sunday, September 17th, just a few blocks away from the infamous Burger King. To get more info or to buy tickets, go to wbez.org slash events, where you can always get info on upcoming live shows by going to Hello from theMagicTabern.com and clicking on the live shows tab.

Alright, I've got my copy of Great Gatsby Ready. It's Book Club Time. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the Magical Land of Foon. I'm your host Arneanie Camp. if you've never listened to the podcast before. About two years and seven months I've lost track, to be honest. A go I fell through a dimensional portal, behind a Burger King in Chicago, into the magical, fantastical land of fun. Luckily I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King, and I use that to upload

a podcast. I record every week here in the tavern the Vermilion Minotaur, in the prison town of Hogsface, in the land of Foon. And I'm so excited. We do a weekly podcast, but this week, we are doing a book club, and I am joined by my co-host, Trump, the Talking Badger.

Y'all yeah, baby? How you doing, bud? Pretty good, how you doing? I'm doing great, you know, I haven't really read a lot in a while, so I was excited to read a book. I'm excited that we're doing an Earth-style book club. I gave you that history of Foon book. Did you not check that out?

I was, you kept saying I want to know more. You said I've been here for two and some change years. I want to know more about the history and I gave you several tombs. Yeah, I know tombs are hard to read. Also, toms are hard to open, they're big. Yeah, well, it's not a grimoire. I mean, you should be able to lift it. Yeah, I know, you're right. I will read the hip about the history of food. I just haven't gotten to that yet.

Okay. Have you read the Great Gatsby? Yeah. I read it. It should be called the, all right, Gatsby. The all right Gatsby? Yeah. Scott's Fitzgerald is not a great author.

It's like, F. Scott Fitzgerald. He's not a great author. Oh, F. Scott Fitzgerald. Yeah, the author's name is Scott Fitzgerald, right? Yeah, I'm saying F. Scott Fitzgerald. First of all, Scott Fitzgerald. His name is Pringles Fitzgerald. Wait, what?

And I'm also joined by my other co-host, Yussel. I am Yussel, I don't always have the twelfth realm of a fesiest master of light and shadow. An impulator of magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of the great halls of Turokus. The elves know me as Fee-A-Yalik! The dwarves know me as Zonen in Hukestangies, and I am known in the northeast as Gess- Glass in my inn-E-Star! And there may be other secret names you do not know yet. And EA, if one of these words were to form in my brain, if I'd mind's eye to see the letters form into a word, surely your entire brain would boil within your head, and your eyeballs would melt and fall directly out of your face.

So if one of these names forms in your brain, and my mind's eye sees those letters forming in your brain. Yeah, you don't even have to know it was one of my names. You'll see this word and you'll be like, what in your brain melts? So I have like a magical eye powers that I can look into your brain, literally seeing the world's falling.

No, everyone but you has imagination and they can just see things in their brain if they want to. So if I accidentally imagine, uh, correctly one of your names. Right. Okay. You know what? I gotta say, that doesn't make any sense.

Well, it's pretty unlikely. Honestly, that's not a likely situation. Are you trying to know? Are you trying to think of one of his names? I'm trying to think of one. Um, see if your brain melts. See if you're brain mouse. OK, be thoughtful. Remember, we promised ourselves we could take a little more time

to be thoughtful. OK, I will try. I'll just randomly try to think of a name. Let's put some letters together. Crimble talk. Nope. All right, see? I'm good.

Safe that time. You got lucky. Have you considered, though, calling'm good. Safe that time. You got lucky. Have you considered though calling yourself Crimble Tongue? Yes. I have considered it. And why did you reject it? I think it's pretty good.

I like it. It's got a sudden ring to it, Crimble Tongue. Can I ask you a question, Arnie? Yeah. Up top, you introduced me as Chunt. Yeah. Do you not like Little Squish? You know what happened on Little Squish? What happened on Little Squish? you not like Little Squish? Yeah, what happened to Little Squish? What happened to Little Squish?

What happened to Little Squish? I thought you yade it. I did yade it and I've really done a lot of soul searching about it. Guys, I'm really excited about this new segment called Name Notes, where we just give each other notes on the names that we've come up with. Yeah, I'm glad you brought that up

because we want to talk about your name. My name, we thought we had a few suggestions, a few light suggestions on a different name just because you don't act like an Arnie or if you do, it's become very distasteful to be an Arnie. Everyone says, what? Everyone's like Arnie. The way they say Arnie is like, Arnie. Do you see what Arnie did? Look what Arnie's wearing or not wearing. Like they're pooping? What? No, they're talking.

That's how your name sounds. It sounds like someone's pooping or mooping. Oh, well, try this on. David the lesser. David the lesser. David the lesser. David the lesser. Well, you know David.

Yeah. And you're less than him. Less than David. Yeah. Yeah. David's a piece of shit. Yeah. And you're less than him. Yeah, less than David. Yeah. Yes, David's a piece of shit. Yeah, and you're less than him. Oh, he's literally a talking piece of shit. Yeah. Similar to Metanoid. Yeah. Oh, speaking of, I invited Metanoid to the book club. Oh, my God. He's gonna be here, Brisa. Oh, good. That's great. Yeah. But let's not get off topic. Look, guys, we have to talk about this book. The great Gatsatsby We don't have time to talk about my name and out of the mooch Scaramooch. Yes, I think that should be your name now that seems like that would not last very long

All right, they'll start off for 10 days guys. Did you get the refreshments for the book club party? Yes, I got some prophecy wine. Okay. Got some rooster feats. Oh, oh, got some goblin ears Goblin ears not they're not actually they're just so good you gobble them up. Oh, I see. Got some goblin ears. Goblin ears. They're not actually, they're just so good you gobble them up. Oh, I see. But they are ears? Yes, they are. Okay.

They're elf ears, but you gobble them up. I cast a spell of ice and then a spell of cubin. Oh, that's exciting. Yes. So we have X amount more of ice. Three times as much ice. Still very rigid, but we have X amount more. Oh, wow. Yes. You just don't know

map for you. Exponentially more. Yeah. Oh wow. Exciting. Well you know what? Oh also it looks like our first book club E has shown up. Flower the talking flower. Hey. Welcome to the book club. Can I ask a question? I'm sorry Flower. I know you just got here. But why don't you introduce me as you said or the talking wizard? Well, I mean you say chun the talking badger you say flour the talking flour Why do I say for little squish or if nothing else Johnny toboggan? Why don't you say you said or the talking wizard I talk I? I mean if anything I just don't want to encourage you to talk fair enough Hello flower is a conversation gonna be like this the whole fucking time

I hear so cool cool, I'm in. Do you have any name notes? We're doing a segment right now called Name Notes. No, man, I just been living my life not giving a fuck, not taking names. I do not care. I know, your name is just Flower. You're a Flower.

Very direct, very straightforward, no confusion. You have to appreciate the simplicity. Oh, I'm very excited. While reading the book and I did read the book, there's a flower in this book. What? There's a flower in Great Gatsby, which must be, is that why you invited flower?

No, I just invited a flower because she's one of the few people that would agree to read the book. Well, I think she should be able to speak thoroughly from the perspective of Daisy. I can't because I saw a reading this thing, and I was like, oh cool, there's Daisy. And then I was like, this fucking bitch sucks. She sucks so hard.

Oh my God, can I send me that wine? Yes, please. Thank you. Look, I'm sorry, I need to clear up some things right off the bat in the book. And I know some of the things in this book might have been confusing to you. Daisy is not an actual talking flower.

She's a human being, but she does suck so hard. She does kind of suck so hard. Okay, I feel better that she does not speak for me. Yeah. Not all flowers. Not all flowers. But she fucking sucks. Well, it's good that you also invited Metanoid

because there's a literal piece of shit in the book as well. It's named her home. Her husband, yeah. Yeah. Well, look, okay. I thought that's why you invited these people's because they can speak from the perspective. Oh, there's also a snubbed nose

to motorboat. Yeah, you never told us what that is. I did. I told you what it is. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Snubmo me camp turning me around by one arm. He moved a broad flat hand along the front vista Including in its sweep a sunken Italian garden a half acre of deep pungent roses and a Snub nose motor boat. Okay, the a-bail says come a little bit. I Did just a little bit tied offshore Snubmo, I also have a a quote I want to read to you. Okay. This is, they refer to someone and they say, and this is why I know you're talking about the book.

They say he's so dumb he doesn't know he's alive. I know I'm alive. Right? I don't know. I thought that's not alive. I am alive, right? Snabbo. Here, here, here, let's do the Turing test on him.

Are you alive? Yes. Okay, he, here, let's do the touring test on him. Are you alive? Yes. Okay, he knows. Do you know the touring test? No, what is the touring test? Well usually you take a little tour around food and when someone least expects it, they go, are you alive?

I go, yes. So it's a touring test. I see. No, okay. Just tours around. So I passed. Good job. Well, you know what, the next time that test tours around town

I might try to check it out again. Sure. I really enjoyed it. Great. All right, you know what, the next time that test tours around town, I might try to check it out again, because I really enjoyed it. Great. Alright, hey, look, I also invited Claudia the witch. Hello! Hey Claudia! Oh, yeah. I will visit you tonight. I will go to the hot at noon night.

Well, looks like you fellows have remembered. Yeah. Yes, sir. What did I just say? Never mind. How have you fellows say? Oh, never mind. How have you fellows been? Oh, well, very good. How have you been?

Well, I've been all right. I've cut down some hours at incense and amulets. Oh, yeah, the shop. There's so many things. Anybody been sucking on some amulets lately? You said, oh. Yes, and now I'm doing it right. Will tell me how.

Well, I am. Yes. Well, I saw it slowly. Yes. And then I sort of, right. We'll tell me how. Well, I- Yes. Well, I- Yes. I start slowly. Oh. And then I sort of, you know, sort of get my tongue around the whole thing before I really get to work on it. Oh, this is coming.

Maybe I'll just go see you in a while. Do it faster? Oh, you, Sador. Well, I'll work on it. Come see me in. I will come to the witches at midnight. But, well, welcome back, gentlemen. Yeah, so, Kwanne, thank you so much for agreeing to read the book.

Yes, of course, of course. Yes, so I read the book, this thing stinks. Does no one on this world appreciate a premier piece of American literature? It's all about human privilege, honk, sweet. Yeah, that was the thing that bothered me after I got past that second page where they mentioned a snub nose motorboat. Yeah? Was that everyone was sort of an asshole?

Well, sure! I mean, take this guy, so even at the party, says here, there were three married couples in Jordan's escort, a persistent undergraduate given to violent innuendo. And obviously under the impression that sooner or later, Jordan was going to yield him up her person to a greater or lesser degree. What the fuck? I've done that a couple times, I've yield him up her person to a greater or lesser degree. What the fuck? I've done it a couple times. I've yielded up a person. Is that is that sex? Have sex with? To yield up your person? Could be making out. What's violent in you window? I do not know what that is. Of anyone you should know a violent in you I have to agree with on the last one. Yeah. The only person I remotely liked in this book was this auto shop fellow whose wife dies.

Oh Wilson. Yes, yeah, I would have given him a good amulet. Oh, that's very nice of you. Yeah, he seemed a little slow, I felt bad for him. You just took major advantage of that action. Guys, here's the thing, we don't have to like everybody in the book. Like many of the people aren't supposed to be likeable.

Like Tom, you can in the husband. He's from Chicago and at first I was like, oh this guy's from Chicago. I bet I like him, but then immediately he starts talking about like some book he read that had some sort of racist undertones and you're like, oh yeah, he's that kind of guy from Chicago. You're not supposed to like him.

So you have also read this book of racist overtones. Oh, I haven't read that specific book of racist overtones. I try to avoid reading books with racist overtones unless they were written in the 20s and have a few subtle racist overtones, but you try to put them into perspective. Well, this book should be called the Great Gatsby Colin Racist Over Todes. That's what I've been saying, F Scott's Fitzgerald. It's so hard to say that. Now, honestly, to be fair, I do agree with Arnold somewhat. I believe that Tom Buchanan is clearly the villain of this piece.

Yes. He is awful and despicable in every way, and everyone else is also despicable, but somewhat less so. But this is the thing that really stuck in my crawl. That some of these people really talk about themselves in such a grandizing ways Listen to this. This is Daisy. You see I think everything's terrible anyhow She went on in a convinced way Everybody thinks so the most advanced people and I know I've been everywhere and seen everything and done everything

How pregnantocious her eyes flashed around her in a defiant way rather like Thoms and she laughed with thrilling scorn. Sophisticated. God! I'm so sophisticated. Now who would talk about themselves like that? You said all. What? You're totally a Daisy. What? Ooh! You're a bit of a Daisy!

But you're a deum! What do you mean? B-b-busted! You straight up Daisy. Hey guys! No! Ah, sorry! Ah, geez, everybody do you mean? What do you mean? B-b-busted. You straight up, Dave. Hey guys. Oh! Oh, sorry. Oh, geez, everybody's here already?

Oh, yeah, sorry. Here, let me drag myself up on chair. Oh, we're just getting started when I start. Don't worry. Oh, I'm sorry. I hate being the last one to the party, you know? Guys, are times important? Yeah, I'm sorry.

I should have told everyone I invited Metanoid. Hi, I'm Metanoid. Cover the food. Yeah, for new listeners, Metanoid, could you explain what you are you're a humancule? Oh yeah, I'm a magical construct that was crafted out of a pudding of my master's semen, blood, urine, and feces. You know, for components that really you could use any for for a monculus, but those were the four that Smaenghanger, the diminished, decided to use and he mixed me in a bowl and formed my body and breathed life into me and you know, you may know Smaenghanger better as Blorth the Brown. He's a wizard like myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. And I really do appreciate being invited because, you know, sort of sends to the change

in governance, you know, you know, smang-hangers kind of gone from sad to surly. So there's a lot of like, get out of the house, get out of here, metanoid, and it's really opened up my time for artistic pursuits. Yeah. And you read the book? I did.

I loved it. How do I know? Oh, I read it on my Kindle. What's this? My Kindle. You have a Kindle? Yeah, you know, a piece of a piece of Kindling enchanted so that when you grip it hard, you can read what someone else is reading.

Oh. Yes, it's just a piece of Kindling. Oh, damn. You saw a few making Kindle. And Kindle, could I share books with Menonoid? Sure. Oh, wow. Yeah.

I'll do it right after we finish a book club. But you have to grip it really hard while you're in. Oh, you got to grip it so hard, you got to squeeze it because you got to squeeze, you know, your consciousness behind the eyes of someone who is already reading a book. It's very good to see you, Metinoid, but we were just in the middle of saying something,

and I have to take issue with it. For Daisy said that she's been everywhere and done everything and seen everything, but I've's been everywhere and done everything and seen everything, but I've actually been everywhere and done everything and seen everything. That's why you're a Daisy. I do agree that everyone is terrible. Except for Wilson, except for Wilson. Except for Wilson.

Well, you know what a nice slow man. Everybody's just got stuff going on. That was one of the things I liked about the books so much. You know, that the Nick Caraway character is an empath, and if you look at it through that perspective, you know, it's not a pass of activity to feel what other people are passionately going through.

That really spoke to me. What a thoughtful piece of seaman. What are you, what are you, I suppose it is. I'm a quarter seaman. Oh, a quarter. Feces, and a quarter urine. So you said you're a quarter piece of shit. So let me read you this passage.

This is about a 100% piece of shit. Daisy, Daisy, Daisy shouted Mrs. Wilson. I'll say it whenever I want to. Daisy, Dave, making a short, deft movement, Tom Buchanan broke her nose with his open hand. Oof. Yeah, that is tough. That was a tough read, you know. And then I'm

not sure whose eyes I was behind, but they stopped reading immediately after that. And I was gripping my Kindle so hard, going, no, please. Next time, yeah, what happens next? What happens next? That might, that might have been me. I might stop reading at that point. I got to be honest, I didn't finish the whole book. I just gave it to my friend, I got a friend who's a giant rock. Over by the ocean, he read it for me and then he told me like, the highlights. You got the cliff notes?

I did. That's smart. That's smart. Yeah, but then I went back and I was like, if anything interests me, I was like, I'll go back and read it. So, but yeah, after he broke that bitch's nose, I was like, I'm out.

We are pass. But you you know, our past. But you know what, this book isn't about story. It's more about the language that it uses. I feel like if you get the cliff notes, you lose all the things that are actually good enough. No, he's saying it really good. You're saying a talking cliff doesn't know enough about the book. You're being as bad as this book is. What do you have against cliffs?

Oh, I don't know. What if we had gotten some information about the book from like a sparking piece of fire, like some spark notes? What do you have against sparks? I don't have anything. You said you read this book before? I read it when I was in high school and you thought it'd be fun to read it again. I forgot. Honestly, most of what happens in it. I loved it. You know what I did? I really loved it. I thought it was great. When I was reading it and just kind of the description of like the parts about the parties and stuff

and like the way they were hanging out and I was like, this really makes me want to get together with like some of my closest girlfriends and dress up in this way and just celebrate our good time, you know. Oh, that sounds so fun. Maybe one of us is getting married and we all get dressed up like this, you know.

You're a total Gatsby. I'm a Gatsby. You're a Gatsby. You're invited oh that's how it's made you one of us is getting married and we all get dressed up like this You're a total Gatsby. I'm okay. You're a Gatsby All right, so as there is a daisy you know, sir as a daisy flower you're a Gatsby Yeah, cuz Gatsby don't give a fuck. Yeah, but he kind of does yeah, but Daisy Yes, and so he doesn't give a f But then he gets shot with a crossbow while floating on a lake An a little lake and his backyard pond and his backyard. Well, he has a swimming pool in his backyard and he gets why Well for exercise, I guess you just put water on your backyard. It's a status symbol think about it like that That stupidest thing I've ever heard is this the best way to do a book club is to jump all over the place? Oh! Oh, you're right, okay!

What happens when it rains? What happens when it rains? Why would you have water in your backyard and then it rains? Well, I don't know, I guess. I don't understand why you'd have water just sitting around in your backyard. To swim! Ugh! Forget it.

Oh, aren't you such a Charlotte? What? You're like my friend Charlotte. Oh, oh. Totally Charlotte. Yeah, she's a Charlotte. She's a Hornet. Oh, well yeah, I don't know.

Maybe should we do like a quick explanation of the plot of the book? I'd like that since I finished it two weeks ago. All right. Arnie. Okay, well, she'll lead us in that and we'll interject. Okay, well, as Mendenoyd said, it's narrated from the point of view of Nick, who is sort of a young man from the Midwest, and they really spoke to me because I'm from the Midwest too.

And he goes to the East Coast like a strange and foreign land for him, kind of like how I'm trapped in this world that is not my own. This is all gonna be about you. You want to be a Nick? You want to be a Nick? So bad. Okay, Ghani's a Nick. I think you want to be a Nick! You wanna be a Nick? So bad. I think he's a Nick! I think you wanna be a Nick. Look guys, of all the options in this book,

I will totally take being a Nick! I know, I think he's more of a murder. Who's murder? Wait, murder! The wifer gets killed! You are a bit of a murder home. Oh no, you live upstairs in a room with a little shop. And I'm a murder home.

Look, I'm not a murder home. I was clearly not run out into the middle of the street. I'm an open-fished brickie, you fucking know. Oh, no. Brutal, brutal. Wait, I take a bag. Flower, you're not a Gatsby. You're a Tom.

Yeah. You're a Tom. I'm actually that Jack's. That Jack's out. I think I'm this dandy who plays the piano in his house. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's I think so. You do have those cufflinks that are made out of teeth. I've been mean to ask you about that. Yeah, I'm from the Blue Tiger. Oh.

The Blue Tiger I killed at Makeup Point? Yeah. There you go. Why don't you wait? Wait, not what? You shouldn't have killed one of the Blue Tigers. It's only three in the whole world. You know, I think I'm the guy with the owl glasses.

Because I would show up to a funeral if invited. I'll show up to anything that I'm invited to. Like this book club. Yeah, oh, this is a thrill. So anyway, Nick goes to the East Coast and it's like you go anywhere. You're like, I don't know who to hang out with. I guess I'll hang out with people that I vaguely know

from back home even though they're the total worst people in the world. So he hangs out with his cousin Daisy and her husband Tom who he went to college with even though he's a terrible person. Like as we said before quotes racist books and punches women in the face and breaks their nose. Wait, their cousins, I missed that part. I yeah, Daisy is second cousin. Nick and Daisy not common. I need a family of origin tree. Do they all live in an egg? Like do you have to live in an egg? Yeah, what happens when it hatches?

They live in a place called West Egg and East Egg. Those are just the names of the place. Like we don't live in a hog's face here. Is it the name of the town? But what about the Big Apple? Everybody lives in the Big Apple by the lake. You said there's a Big Apple on Earth. You said we have a Big Apple here. Yeah, that's by the lake. Well, okay said there's a big apple on Earth. You said we have a big apple here that's by the lake.

Well, okay, on Earth there's a big apple and it's just like a nickname. Oh, it's one of the city's secret name. Oh! Speaking of luck. But here on Fune, yes, there is a literal big apple that people do live inside of. Why isn't there a single spell in this entire book? I read the whole book, backwards and forwards, 315 times, looking for any rooms or spells. I agree.

And I couldn't find a single one. What's the point of a book if it doesn't have a spell in it? It feels like Gatsby is kind of a wizard though. They know him in the East. It's Jay Gatsby and in the West. It's James Gats and his father knows him as Jimmy I did like that. Yeah, secret day. Yeah, I did it. I have numerous names He completely is almost like magic. He tries to recreate himself like he's he's this poor young man who who aspires to be this

Powerful Spectacle of a time time travel or almost he wants to go back in time to when he was with Daisy. Yeah, and how about that pink suit? He also wears a pink suit. Oh, I thought that was meant to just be, he was naked. Oh, oh no, I think it's a literal suit. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's wearing a little pink suit.

A skin suit. Oh, maybe I didn't think about it that way, but if you thought that, then maybe it was. The molar cuff links and a skin suit, that makes sense. That tracks. Yes, so. Very handsome look. Arnie, you keep stopping doing the rest of this stuff.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. Well, yeah, Nick moves to New York. And this is at a very different time on my world where you could just rent a home for the summer and somehow your home was next door to like an insane mansion. And in this mansion next door is a man, a mysterious man named Jay Gatsby, who throws mysterious man,

didn't we, don't get emails everyone's well about a mysterious man? We do get emails about some mysterious man. Wait, are you saying that there was a time in your history where you could rent a house and you'd always be next to a mansion with a man named Jay Gatsby? I'm not saying you would always...

I'm just saying it was possible. Oh, like you would just rent a piece of shit house for the summer and next door would just be this amazing mansion. That's magic. That is magic. So there's magic on earth. Yeah, and everyone would want to go to these parties. These would be house parties. A little house parties.

Yeah. Like the sound of parties. A little house parties. Yeah. Like the sound of that. Yeah. Have you guys ever been to a house party? I went party in a house. I went to one and the whole time we would move towards each other, hit our foot back away from each other, move towards each other, hit our foot, hold it, spin around.

And that was that. Wow. The closest I got was at a witch hollow. We all got our hair tangled up and then two of us exploded No, which two Well, they're not with us anymore Agatha and Greta. Oh, I really liked Greta. How dare you she was nice Like me. I like you. I will see you at midnight I've had plenty of my homunculi friends explode But it's because their wizards

are all into it, too deep asleep. Yeah. That's right. You're always under the threat of if your wizard falls into a deep enough sleep, just exploding in your life being over. Yeah, so I mean, it's one of the things that's let me run around so much. Kissing anger is not sleeping much. She's just being angry, stalking around the house, being angry, pushing things over, cleaning

things up, making things dirty again, and generally keeping me out of the place. Who is Philadelphia? What's this? Who is Philadelphia? Philop? Delfia? Don't forget we're going up in the Hydroplane. I don't know what that is either.

Tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock. Then the butler behind his shoulder, Philadelphia, once you on the phone, sir. That's the word you wanted to ask about it, in a sense. You're like, Hydroplane, no, don care. I said. I don't know what it is Well, Philadelphia. It's just another city. It's a name of a place. Oh, it's a place. Yeah, and it's not worth explaining How did they get everybody in that city on the phone at the same time to call them? That's good question Yes, and what's the phone? Oh God. All right. Look. Let's take a quick break Let's refresh our wine. I've used Arnold's phone. Yeah, it's my phone? Oh god, alright, look. Let's take a quick break. Let's refresh our wine.

I've used Arnold's phone. Yeah, it's my phone, guys. Look, I'm just going to show you my phone. Ugh, so only. On Earth, in this period of the 1920s, everyone carried these small devices around, and they could play games on them and make phone calls and look at the weather.

Ooh, can we check those? There are sorts of apps on it. Like, my candle. No, it was actually very different. In fact, they had phones that were almost completely useless and people were barely connected at all. Oh, like a stick. Yeah.

Like my Kindle. Yeah. And it was, if you were in love with someone, you couldn't just call them or go on their Facebook page. If you would have to spend five years building a new identity for yourself and buy a home across a body of water from where they live, stare across a water every night at the light at the end of their dock, hope that they come over to your parties.

You would try to throw as good a party as you possibly could, hoping that they would come over and then see how rich you now were. And then if that didn't work, you would befriend their cousin. It would just happen coincidentally to be your neighbor, to bring her over so that you could go into their house, and then you would have to convince them to tell their husband that they never loved them. And that's how you would reconnect with somebody.

Oh, well, just say that next time. And everyone did that. I think we all did. Everybody would do that. We all did that. If not literally, would you say that next time and everyone did that? I think we would do that We've all been there if not literally thank you for Fursling it plain. I'm pretty sure that Gatsby Set it up so that the rent was really cheap next door so that Nick would move in. Oh, maybe Oh, look at Spiracy You might be right. Well anyway, let's refresh our wine. Let's take a quick break and

I'll explain Philadelphia Hydroplanes and telephones all of you guys. I just assume there are planes of water where people exist outside of this plane of reality. Yep And all again, Bungery Chubbins year of Chair of Chubb and Jibb and so forth. As sponsor of this talking program, I was invited to read this Gatsby book, the character I relate to is Old George Wilson, owner of that auto garage in the Valley of Ash's true work and man. Describe here is a spiritless and anemicemic... So dumb, he doesn't know he's alive. Still, he must know a thing or two about auto repair.

Just like I know Chamberpots. I'd like to make a sale to that Jordan Baker. Oh, she's a firecracker that one. But I wouldn't do to see her flash in a pan. Anyway, I sell chamberpots. Come by, one. So let's talk a little bit about J. Gatsby in the book, The Great Gatsby, the titular character of The Great Gatsby.

So I know he does some shitty things in the book, but at least in the beginning it's supposed to be exciting that like, he's this guy who hosts these amazing parties that people just come from Wherever like every weekend. There's these amazing parties at his house didn't you at least want to maybe go to one of these crazy parties? Yes Absolutely, please invite me to a crazy party. Midanoyd Have you ever been to a party? Is this count? I mean, this is more of like a

Gathering Have you ever been to a party? Is this count? I mean, this is more of like a... A gatherer. A gatherer, aren't you? Arnie, give it to him. Okay. Yeah, well, I don't want to give him like the... Welcome to Book Party. Yeah! Okay. This is Book Party.

Book Party. Yeah. Book Party. So imagine that this book party was like a lot bigger and people, the most interesting people, from all over this side of the world, just showed up and had fun and just hung out and got drunk. Rip your cup, Rizov.

Sounds pretty good, but I do enjoy the level of intimacy that were afforded in a smaller gathering like this. So, you know, it's probably six and one half, doesn't it another, right? Here with my issue too, is that people are showing up to his party and they're like going through his books and shit and being like, I'm surprised these are real books. Like, they think the thing no better than he does. They don't know him. He doesn't know them. This is sad as fuck. I mean, look, it's sad for Jay Gatsby, who thinks that he's created this amazing world for himself,

and that he's doing this thing that just makes him the coolest person in the world, when in reality no one kind of gives a fuck about him, but we're overlooking the fact that it must have been sweet for everybody at those parties. It's true, it must have been very fun for those awful people. Hi, Sam, did you ever been to a really cool big party where you didn't even know the person whose party it was and you just got to go around and look at their stuff and make up ideas about them in your head from things they are?

I just saw a lot of flower parties. Oh. What a flower party. Just a lot of weed. All right, I have to admit something. Yeah, Claudia. The Dark Lord had a party last week and I went. Oh! Wow. Was this his birthday party? No, we had a pre-party. A pre-party.

It was in preparation for the birthday party. Oh, is that what pre stands for? Preparation? Yes. Pre equals preparation. So if you were going to come to the birthday party, did you have to pre-come to the pre-birthday party? Yes, you had to pre-come. You got to watch out after that. Preparation come, right? Yes. Did I do that right? Yes. Okay. There were bowls of spice, synthetic marijuana. What? Yes. We all braided each other's hair and cried. Oh man, that sounds amazing. I know. God, it was a blast. The Dark Lord never showed up though. Oh, I already did that a few weeks ago with it. He had a key party.

Did the same thing, didn't show. Yeah, he stole everyone's keys. Now no one has any keys. They can't get into their homes, sir. Homeless. What a brilliant way to get access to every lock in the city. That's why he's the Dark Lord. But I felt something.

You know, I felt it in my chest. Ah, it was a ball. Oh my God. Is the Dark Lord the J.Gatsby of the story? Oh. Yeah. Well, I hope no one goes to his funeral, so yeah, that sounds good to me.

Yeah, what's his plan, though? I mean, who's the Dark Lord's daisy? Wait, I'm daisy. Oh! No, wait, I'm no wait. The Dark Lord wants to fuck you. That's it. No, no, no, no.

He has a proof that I'm not daisy. OK. I'm going to make a case. That's it. That's it. So, he has the proof that I'm not Daisy. Okay. I'm going to make a case that I'm Nick. Nick says this. Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues. And this is mine. I am one of the few honest people I have ever known. I don't think that's used to you.

He has just because you mentioned cardinals. But yeah, I love birds. Isn't also what you hated about Daisy's that she kept referring to herself as like having done great things or being great? And Nick says, I'm one of the only honest people I know. I just don't think that Daisy earned it. I've earned it. Guys, we are a Nick. Guys, let's be honest.

No, I think I'm a Nick. I'm one of the few honest people I know. I'm enchanted to not be able to tell any lies. Can we all agree I'm a wolfshime? Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, that's absolutely me. You would even buy a horse last week. I know, because I don't have a lot of money, just like Nick.

I'm also the only real middle person. Think about it, I'm an outsider and an observer in this world. I'm the only likable character surrounded by shit, shits and assholes. I don't know. I think Tom got bad rap Well, I'm working on myself Like he's still alive at the end, right? Yeah, he survived. Yes, he survived They do exactly what I do. They're like all this guys dead. Let's get the fuck out of here and like not be a part of it So Tom's a hero he had gas be killed. smote his enemy. He broke a woman's face. He walks on the street with this clenched prepared for battle. He's the hero.

Yes, his mistress dies and he can scamper away with his wife. What a hot fuck treat. No, Tom's not the hero. This is just a really sad story. Where anybody who tries to get anything for themselves are fucked over or killed and the worst people The ones who just were born into a lot of money and are able to just kind of do whatever the fuck they want thoughtlessly at the end Are able to just kind of get away because they're protected by their station in the world. So let me understand this Someone on your world wrote a sad story on purpose Yeah, then expected everyone else to read it for fun and didn't put any spells in it.

Yeah, but it's a sad story, but it starts with a bunch of parties. Oh, well, yeah. Oh, it's a PSA. Yeah, and wait, this was about wealth? Yeah, it's all about money. I feel like they barely mentioned money. I thought it was about innocence. Well, it's about innocence and the money. Okay. So I know what an automobile is.

The car you say, right? You have a car. You can use that to kill someone. A car is a weapon. I mean, you try not to, but you can on accident. You drove a car through a burger king. Were you trying to kill someone or the Burger King itself? No, oh, I wasn't trying to drive through the Burger King. I was driving through the Burger King. I went to the Burger King's drive through. Yeah, you're trying to drive through the Burger King. I was driving around on the burger.

What's the disconnect? You drove through a Burger King. I drove near a Burger King. Okay. And then you're changing your story. I guess I am. So we're all saying that Tom's a good guy. And this book is about murder. No, look here. This passage from near the end of the book explains who Tom and Daisy are. They were careless people. Tom and Daisy. They smashed up things. They didn't have a

care. Look, you can read, look here. I will read this passage the way it's meant to be and if you want to read it in a really positive way afterwards You can what page are we are we are on page 179 cool? Okay, I'm gonna grip my Kindle tight. They were careless people Tom and Daisy they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast Carelessness or whatever it is that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess they had made. I definitely have different pages than you. They're babies. They're babies. They're basically horrible babies, right? Yeah, they're babies. They're babies with money.

Okay, here's how I read it. There were people who had no cares. They were fancy free. Tom and Daisy, cool fucking dudes. They smashed things up Hell yeah and creatures and then they went back to their money and they still were so carefree And whatever we kept them together let other people clean up the mess because they were smart as fuck. Oh wait I love this book. What's an oxford man? Oh? Someone who could afford an ox it's someone who went to a good school like the Great Halls of Tarracas. Oh, what's, I did a little bit of research. What are the roaring 20s?

Is that like 20,000 roaring orcs? Well no, the 20s is a period of time and they were roaring because they had all these sweet parties. So they would roar at the parties. Um, not, I mean they were just good parties. We just sort of throw adjectives at things on my world. Now I do have to say I absolutely loved Gatsby's schedule. I could really relate to it.

No wasting time at Shafters. Oh. Yeah, or a name. So for me, that's no wasting time on the toilet. No more smoking or chewing. Smoking is spelled with an E. I appreciate that. Bade every other day, I haven't bathed in five years. Oh, no. Read one improving book or magazine per week.

That would be Witch's Bitches. Save five dollars. I've saved ten ambulance. Be better to parents. I never had any. I was born from a cauldron. Oh. It's man-hangers, my parents, sort of, in that I made from his feces, urine, semen, and blood.

Oh, and of course I was brought forward into the world by a conspiracy of birds and rain and wind and fire. They did say, FUNED UP NEEDA CHAPIAN! STEP FOR USE THE ORA, PRINCECT US ALL! Chun! Are we the only two here that have parents? I think so. I got parents.

Oh, as you see. Oh, I guess you've never really talked about your parents. Nope. Do you... Is it a... Would you care to? Yeah. Nope.

I'm not crying, you're crying. Can we go back to Claudia being born out of a culture? And I think that's how... I mean, I definitely like doing... I definitely do want to hear about that But I just want to take a second flower. I guess you're just the sort of mysterious charismatic figure that we don't Really know much about your past and Your family and where you really come from you're a total Gatsby You're a

Tom away from me. I thought I was a Tom. You're a Gatsby. Okay, I hope you're a Gatsby. Is Flower even really your name? Yep. It's a name given to me by the state. The state?

What name were you, did your parents give you? I don't know. I don't know my parents. I have them, but I don't know them. Most flowers are named flower. Oh, okay It's like hank but for flowers. Oh, North and flower. Yeah, so they're there just still out there, but I don't care about them. They don't care about me It's fine. Oh flower. I feel like that must be a deep sadness that who wants to get high Oh flower she's blazing up right in front of us. Wow. No, that's that's Stuff this turn into a flower party. Yeah. Oh, yeah

One sitting is two different kinds of parties. I've been to I think we can I think we can This one sitting is two different kinds of parties. I've been to I think we can I think we can I'll have fun. Let's not talk about a pants. I'll do okay, so here's what we decided flower is a cat's beat Meninoid is a I like last man. I think Is a I'm an also an I like glass man who has a heavy attraction to the auto mr. Wilson boy who's doctor T.J. Echo fuck That's oh, I don't know the giant eyes that watch all. Oh, that should be me. You stores a daisy I'm a wolf shine and Arnie is a snub most motorboat. No, I'm a Nick. I'm the narrator the observer Now I know how to devour chaos, but how do you nibble at the edge of stale ideas? Oh

I think we do that on every episode. I think we've been doing that hardcore for the whole month. You're pretty good at it. It's been 40 for the last two years and seven months. Claddy, you were born from a cauldron. I was mixed up in a bowl. Ooh, so similar. So similar.

The same. You're both bowl babies. Yes, I came from a piece of hair, a frog's wart, and a toe. Oh, a a toe. Oh, a whole toe. A whole toe. Sans toenail. Ooh.

If I had a toenail, I'd be a very different witch, with a tight perm. Ooh, like Agatha, who exploded. Yeah. If you're starting a bowl, do you feel like you end up in a bowl? Well, I mean, it certainly seems like the circle of life, right? Yeah. Ashes dash is bowl to bowl. Oh, that's true.

I mean, yeah. Wasn't it sort of womb-like to see cats be floating in that bowl right at the end? Yeah, you know. A bit of a rebirth. I feel like that's the semen in you talking. It might be. Oh, it might be the semen in me talking. I am a quarter semen So you know quarter semen quarter. Can we see man? Can we isolate the semen and talk to the semen? Oh, okay

I wish you did not ask him to do that. I did not need to see all those fluids move around fluids move around. What's your favorite word, Seaman? If you were to die tomorrow and you were created in the next world, what would you hope the creator would say to you? You can oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh better judgment to play this episode for their class. I am sorry, I am sorry teacher. Well I think we've been pretty insightful. Can we all agree that the green light is spin-tax? What? There's that green light that he keeps looking at, seeing in the distance, that's probably spin-tax, right? He's probably fucking with earth. The green light, that's like the one of the most famous images from all of American literature. Gatsby always looks across the body of water at the green light, and it's on Daisy's dock,

but it's also metaphorically like this thing that he's yearning for. But it's not spin-tax. It's probably spin-tax. Wow. So he's just looking at light. Well, he is, I mean, literally he's just looking at a light. And longingly, if he concentrates on the light long enough, will he cast a spell? I mean in a way he's trying to he's trying to concentrate on it enough to make his dreams come true

So I'm not gonna learn one damn thing from this book About how to cast a spell snug mo. Let me ask you something on earth. What does a green light represent? First answer. I mean, I mean I you see green light. What do you do? You go? There it is if you're driving. Oh, so it's just and then you run over someone You sort of stare into this amulet. What do you see? What do I see in the amulet? I see all my secret desire is coming true and I can finally be completely know I know I'm always

Waiting for the longest day of the year and then I just miss it. Do you ever wait for the longest day of the year then you just miss it? You're a Gatsby! Oh, okay. And that's the thing. He's waiting, he's trying to find that thing that he wants. Let's say the longest day of the year and he misses it. Or he's spent so much time thinking about it that when it happens to him, he misses that

it's happened. And then he gets shot and killed in a swimming pool. Oh. I think I'm the swimming pool. I think the girl in the cover of my book is looking for her nose. It is a little weird that the cover of the book is flowing ice in a mouth and no nose. Oh, so that's the over the city. That's Dr. Eccleberg.

Eccleberg. Is it? G is the downside of a Kindle is that I can't grip it hard and see the cover of a book, so I am out on this one. Arnie, here's the one thing I took away. And it's said by Wolshin, and I feel like this is why I'm a Wolshin. Let us learn to show our friendship for a man when he is alive and not after he is dead. Good call.

That's a nice sentiment. And so with that sentiment, I say to you, you're a good friend. You're a good friend too. And I want to show my friendship for you when you're alive and not after you're dead. Yeah, because I feel like that day is past approaching. What? This is touching. Nice.

I don't know if it's all the wine that we've been drinking while we've been talking about. It definitely is all the wine. I've got to say, I know at the beginning, I was like, we all hated this book. I loved it. We're all assholes. And why do we do this and this is a mistake But the more we've been talking and the more wine we've had I feel like we've been saying super smart things

Like we've we really like we've cracked open this book and we're really understanding And we're all like better friends. This is true. This is true Yeah, I got to go to a double party. So I'm feeling great Now would you want to come to a dark lord party the next time he has? Yes, I think we're gonna try to go to the dark lord's birthday party, which is coming up soon. Okay. We gotta get pink suits Skin suits. Yeah, we gotta show up naked. We got crashed this party naked. Well, I'm not I'm not gonna do that That seems like a bad idea. Arnie come on. It's not so bad, I'm naked all the time, but I also have no genitals or apertures into my body.

Yeah. Arnie, I can turn your genitalia into a banana. Do it. Why would I want that? Fena, Fena, turn Arnie's dongle into a banana. Oh, yes, no, yes. Yes, peel it, peel your dick. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no your dick. No, not like that. Peel your dick. No, it's, here's first of all, I'm not. And second of all, if I peeled my dick and it turned back to a dick, what would it want?

Peel your dick and then somebody else slip on it. I mean, that would be hilarious. No question. Oh, one banana and a sack, turn it back. Okay, ooh, I'm glad that my banana dick didn't fall on the ground and someone slipped on it because we do not need that kind of slap dick. Like I was saying, the more wine we have,

I feel like the better we're doing, everything is fear genius. Wait, when someone slips on a banana, is it called slap dick? Wouldn't it be called slip dick? You hope they don't slip a dick. Just, I don't want to slip a dick in my back. I'm just being a wolf shem.

Yeah, look. The green light is the American dream. I know that it doesn't mean anything like that to you guys. Is there something like that on food? Is there like the funy in dream? The thing that everybody aspires to but doesn't realize is a total sham and is just hurting yourself to try to achieve it? No, no, no, nothing like that's all. I am committed to a dream that is totally attainable. I shall defeat the dark lord and I shall see all the men and women in Shuldar of Foon, safe and warm in their beds, each with a full stomach, happy and complete.

But what if you don't? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna do it. And Chant, what's your dream? That's where I'd the great Foonian novel. Pitches your novel. I think I'm just gonna use this story and replace all the characters with you guys. Were you add some spells? Yes of course! Thank you! I think I'm just gonna stay on this novel. That seems really ethically dubious at best. Are you gonna tell anyone? Because you're the only one

besides the six of us here that knows about it. Can you be cool? I lost all my money buying a three-legged horse. Can you give me this? Also, I have some other ideas. Okay. A guy farts out a ghost, and it becomes his best friend. The ghost name is Calvin, and the guy's name is Hoops. Hoops? Yeah, there's Calvin and Hoops.

I would read that. Yeah, I like that a lot. Flower, what's your dream? I dream, I like that a lot. Flower, what's your dream? I dreamed a dream. And I fucked a guy. That's it. That seems achievable. Yeah, I'm just coasting at this point.

Oh. Flower, I'm really worried about it. Flower, I know we've had our differences in the past, but... I'm more breaking nose. Oh, don't do it. Do it. There's a Tom. That is very Tom.

Flower, if you're truly a Tom, and I'm truly a daisy, let's get out of here. Let's run away together. Whoa. Okay. All right. Let's see what happens. Sounds great. Wait, Arnie, can I be Mr. Wilson and you be my my myrtle?

Myrtle dies! Get upstairs and be your room. And Mr. Wilson kills himself! Get in your fucking name! And then really traumatizes Dennis the Menace! Come on, Flower, let's get on my horse! Come and chode! I never want to hear come chode again.

Oh, you know what, all this time, I didn't think Flower was gonna end up with Yusador, and at the end she just goes back and they just run off together. We're gonna play Label's on things, we're just gonna take it day by day. Fine, get on Yusador's chone. What a twist. What clonnie, what's your dream? I think I'd like to sell incense and amulets and maybe make witch dolls. Witch dolls?

Yeah, Foon Witch dolls, you know, they look like different little girl witches and you can dress them up and they come from different parts of Foon. What would tell them to be called? Well, one would be called Grey Witch. Oh. She'd be an older one. Sure. And then one would be called Grey Witch. Oh. She'd be an older one. Sure. And then one would be called Bitch Witch. Yeah. She's sassy.

Wait, I can't back with this. Are you going to have an accompanying book with each one telling the story of them? Yes, I have thought of that. I'm going to crochet outfits quickly. Yes, from different periods of foolish history. Yes, from foolish history. Now you guys are getting it.

That sounds wonderful. So in Sons and Emulus, hopefully, we'll get sold in the next couple of years. But I'll see you at midnight at Mintsons and Emulus. Well, you want a fuck flower now. I'm open. Well, I thought we were just running away. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Well, it's for Sminghanger, the diminished, to become cheered up enough that his eye falls on a lovely lady. And when his heart is extended to her to the point that he wants to make a commitment, he gives me a small bundle of roses. And I sneak into her bed chamber in the middle of the night and climb up the drapes and covers of her bed to lay those roses upon her chest and her eyes flutter open. I say, Blorth the brown loves you, and I am his messenger, a piece of him, constructed of his feces, semen, blood and urine.

Here to deliver this bouquet of love. Now it makes me really happy. That's beautiful. It's so selfish. Arnie, what's your dream? You know, I think my dream is to help all of us achieve our dreams. But not you. On the podcast, and it makes this podcast really successful on Earth,

and that somehow helps us defeat the Dark Lord here in Fune, and then, you come back with me to Earth, where I'm reunited with my family, and we all live reasonably close to each other, and the rest of you can kind of do whatever the hell you want with your lives. Thank you. And I write Earth's first book of spells. Yeah. And I think we can all achieve those things.

These are all beautiful dreams. Yeah. And we're all just gonna beat on. So your dream is just to keep doing what you're already fucking doing. Yeah. I'm gonna keep that the dream, right? To keep doing what I'm already doing. We're just gonna beat on. You're gonna beat on. But beat on gonna beat on. We're gonna beat on. But beat on or beat off?

We're gonna beat on. I heard beat off. Beat off to beat. Beat on. So we're gonna beat off. So we're gonna beat on. Kiss yourself. Boats against the current,

born back ceaselessly into the past. Sorry to hear that last part. I'm beat off. I never stopped. Did you say bones against the cut? Be not! Men annoyed! What are you saying?

That's what I saw you said. Did I read this whole book? Come, Chaud. So ends the Book Club episode. Junior detectives could you tell who actually read the book? My money's on Arnie about 20 years ago. So this was time well spent. Can't wait to see what this band of heroes does with the Joy Luck Club. Usador the Talking Wizard was played by Mat Young, the acting actor.

Shunt the Talking Badger was played with Violent Inuendo by Adel Rafaie. Flower the Flower was played by Brooke Bright. Brooke performs all over Chicago, including with World News tonight at the Isle Theatre, and legendary laughs at the second city. Claudia the Witch was played by Beth Maluski. She didn't want to plug anything, she has nothing going on and I'm grateful for it. At her recent wedding I ate what I thought was an enormous spoonful of pudding that turned out to be frosting and I'm still working through it.

Metanoid the Humongulus was played by Jorin Gargallo. Check out Jorin's unpronounceable one-man improv show, Jorin's Auroboros, Thursdays at Chicago's CIC Theater. Bungery Chobbins was played by Tom Gottlieb. Hello from The Magic Tavern was produced by R&E Camp, Evan Jacoba and Ryan D. George. This one edited by Chris Raffchen, music by Andy Poland, logo by Aller LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz. Visit us at hellofromthemagictavern.com where you can get info on all of our upcoming

live shows. There's the, now here this festival, that's the Get Not Show with Shun Yusodor happening September 9th in New York City. There's the WBEZ Podcast Passport I mentioned earlier, that's September 17th in Chicago. There's the New York Comic Con in October 7th in New York, and they'll probably be more in the future, so make sure to check that page often. Also, on site is our new Great Merchandise page. You can get shirts, you can get cool map of food, you can get magnets. There's probably more I haven't even looked at recently, so check that out at aloefromthemagictavern.com. Also, find us on Facebook or Twitter.

Finally, thanks to the Chicago podcast co-op and thanks to Earwolf. Well, Craig, my big question would be, after Gatsby climbs out of that pool and regals out of his Kevlar vest, what adventures will he get up to next? Swashbuckling, extreme archaeology? We have to have one of our talks about the impermanence of human life again, don't we? life again, don't we?