Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 26 - A Short One

Episode Date: September 11, 2017

I don't know... what if... we did a short one?CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Warning! Warning, is that ominous? Is that good? I should be practicing. Someday this entire space bunker will be mine. I assume. Hey, it's Craig here, getting some intro reps in. Anyway, the following podcast is not real. Were they would not let me introduce it?

Eh, let's see. Oh, and some magic tavern live show updates. I feel like I should make an official alert sound for that one. No, not that. Anyway, there's still some tickets available for the Magic Tavern live show at the music box theater in Chicago. This coming Sunday, rumor has it a popular elf with an unpronounceable name will be there and some other secret guests There's also another alive announcement coming that I can't talk about just yet. As in, if you're listening to this in the morning, I can't talk about it, but if you were listening in the afternoon, I probably could talk about it, but it's too late. I already recorded this time is weird, but just in the normal linear way that time is

always weird, not because I'm in a space bunker that exists outside of quantum time space. It's not real. Anyway, keep your eye on the live show page and hello from themagictavern.com for all the live shows stuff. It's all kind of stuff in the works. Subscribing to the Magic Tavern Facebook page is also a good place to get updates. Wait, that time I don't know what that meant. Should I be checking these gauges? Anyway, enjoy the show! Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune I'm your host Arne and Ecamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know.

About two and a half years ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune. Unfortunately it's being taken over by the Dark Lord who has imprisoned me and my co-hosts and are forcing us to continue to do this podcast, which I killed him. I killed him. I over by the Dark Lord who has imprisoned me and my co-hosts and are forcing us to continue to do this podcast Which I killed him I killed him I just killed the dark lord. What's this? I just killed the dark lord you killed the dark lord. Yeah Oh Wait, what did I say you said you killed the dark lord shit? No, I killed the Stark Lord The Stark Lord were we were we against the Stark Lord? No, we haven't beefed at the Stark Lord. No, was the Stark Lord in prison?

Yes, no the dark or I'll be right back Anyway, we're recording this podcast every week here in the tavern the Vermilion Minotaur and the prison townhawk guys I need help Uh, I killed the Stark Lord and he's I had this funny chun I need help. I killed the Stark Lord, I need to hide this funny. John, John, what happened? I killed the Stark Lord. He's like a big deal up north. Who is the Stark Lord? It's the Stark Lord.

He's like a minimalist. He's very stark. He doesn't have a lot of possessions. He believes in a very bare kingdom. And I killed John. I am 50% really concerned about the particular menu you're in and 50% in the back of my mind being like, have I properly set the table for our new listeners

to understand what's going on on this podcast? Cause I can only imagine, no, you killed somebody, you killed somebody you're right. I'm gonna go take care of the body. No, no, no, no. You're absolutely right. In terms of like, listeners may not have ever heard what you're saying right now.

I don't know if I've ever heard. So like, you never, you don't know if you've ever heard what I'm saying right now. I don't know if I've ever heard. So like, you never, you don't know if you've ever heard what I'm saying right now. I kind of zone out. My eyes play so much. You should all have a solution. I shall hide you, chumped.

Get under this blanket. I'm also joined by my own. Using my great magical powers, I have saved chumped. Guys, are we doing this episode in reverse? Are we doing like the end of the episode at the beginning? I don't know how to start. Hello, Burma. Burma.

Burma. And how's the? Guys, I really feel like I didn't get out the beginning. And now just do it now. Just do it now. What's wrong? You got blue balls? A little bit.

A little bit. Like my brain. Your vocal balls? A little bit. A little bit. Like my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my brain. Your vocal balls, your brain balls? My brain balls. My child brain. Let him out. I feel like my child brain is being strangled by brain snakes. Are you two okay? I don't think so. I don't think so. I am covered in blood.

Yeah. What has happened to us? I've not, I'm not at my best. Here, this will help. Yeah, what has happened to us? I'm not at my best. Here, this will help. Underneath this platter, I have for us fresh salsa. Well, enjoy. Take a chip. Have a bite of salsa.

Try not to get too much blood in the salsa. Mmm. Are those hatched chilies? That's right. Those are chilies that hatch from an egg. Oh, really? Yeah, they have two chilies, fuck. And then one of them lays an egg. And really? Yeah, they have two chilies fuck and then one of them lays an egg

And then it opens that's a hatch chili. Have you ever seen two chilies have sex with each other? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah I'll take two chilies and put them in a little Glass bowl and let them get down here we go clear see eggs the next morning all over town. There's peep shows peeper shows Little peeper little peeper. Yeah, see two peepers fuck Do you, there's peep shows, peeper shows, little peeper. Little peeper? Yeah, see two peepers, fuck. Do you call it the new peepers? So from here, we're gonna work backwards to the beginning of the show.

I maybe, I don't, it just feels like. That's right to me, males. All right, do we have any males? Well, I guess I might have some females here. Let's see, dear Arnie, Chant, and Yusudor, I was listening to your podcast recently, and while I am usually in full support of all Dalton's and their endeavors, I am afraid I must object to my earlier namesake. Oh wait, I should have read that this is from someone named Dalton.

Guys, read the email by heart. I'm not at my best. You are not at your best. Chad, why did you kill somebody? I told you, I woke up and I just kind of misread the situation. I thought we were at war that we're being taken over, that we had created this secret like chess club to defeat the Dark Lord, book club, the Stark Lord, the book club. I'm losing it. Yeah. I think I've been under too much pressure. I think I've been wearing too many hats under a lot of stress lately fighting the Dark Lord

doing this podcast Coming up with new salsa recipes all these secret names little squish little squish. Yeah, I came up with a new Seagrard name as well. Oh, what is it? Glorious Stefan glorious Glorious Stefan? Glorious Stefan. Glorious Stefan is that so hard to say? Glorious Stefan. I can't it's like the rhythm of it. I can't get well It's eventually gonna get you so eventually it's gonna get me What else well that's our show is that our show show? That was good. That was a guys. Can we unpack that?

Let's unpack the show. Here's what I think. I think the stress of doing this show has become too much for us. Let's just do a short one. This is a short one. Mundle, play us out, and that'll be the show. That'll be that. Yeah, and then we'll just spend this time.

Then we'll talk how we normally talk What we're not because I feel like when we when we speak into your microphone thing I feel like we are ourselves but heightened yeah, right? We're like a heightened. We're putting we're putting on airs Right. Yeah, so let's let's in this episode now and let's just let's just chillax. I'm not putty don't aves What really yeah, really yes? Well, I should I tell our guests to leave. Yeah. Who is your guest? Who is our guest? It was a you guys still need me or no, we don't need you to still. All right. Well, it's been real being on the episode and I just want to say that.

Don't forget that your purpose in life is to find your purpose in life. Oh, you know, all right. Love forever. Goodbye. Remember all you need is love. She loves you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I gots. I like that guy. He's still standing right over you.

Is this episode over? Yeah. What? No, Mundo plays out. Chan, what can I ask you a question? Yeah, I'll shoot you away. Why do you put on that weird voice when the microphones on? I just feel like, I don't know, I just don't like the way I sound, you know? Oh yeah, baby, like when I just, I just sound weird, you know? Sounds weird coming out of my mouth. I see, so when the microphones on, you put on that weird, high-pitched voice. I don't know if it's high-pitched. It's high-err-pitched.

Maybe he's sort of a character, he does. He's a amazing character. Little mazely. I just wish that all of the listeners of our podcast knew the real you the way I know you. Yeah. Like, when the podcast isn't on, your voice is deeper, you're more relaxed.

You're much nicer to our party. You're so nice to me, you see. Well, I love because I love you. You're my best friend, I mean. I love you, you're my best friend. We have such connective tissue between our money. You're so nice to me. Well, I love because I love you. You're my best friend, I mean. I love you, you're my best friend. We have such connective tissue between our lives. Absolutely. I still think you're a piece of crap.

Well, also, you're so much nicer to me on the podcast that you are in real life, that's the time. Yes, because you're a useless sack of shit. People who listen to podcasts don't understand why I'm so mean to you and accept all the shit that Chun gives me and how realizing that when the mic that they'll hold rest of the week Chun is a super sweetheart to me and you're a fucking asshole I'm just confusing, I don't know why I put up with this bullshit or you or this show

Up his done, black his white I'm gonna go get a drink Chun Yeah, what are you gonna do about Yusidar? I don't know, I feel like he just has a lot of anger like a lot of pent up anger Yeah Yeah, I think so too. I love you. I love you too, bud And you know what I want to help you out. I want to help you out, which is why Today

Yeah, I want you to make me the luckiest shape shifter in the world It's Arnie, you camp. What will you marry me? Chant oh my god. I've been saving up. I've been using my guard funds to pay for this Ring. There's a there's a live eel inside of it and I just there's a live eel inside and it's also captured some storm lights Oh, it's very beautiful. Oh I'm so sorry. Make me the lucky shape shifter. No, I had no idea. Well, I guess I had a little bit of an idea, but let me be you Oh No, chant first of all you don't want to be me

Look, chant I love you to as a friend. I you should say that then when I say I love you I mean I love you as a human as a beautiful creature has an essence, you know Two sezores been teaching me a lot about love and life and about inner reflection. What does this mean for our friendship, John? It means we're best friends for life, that we take it to the next level. No, no, no, no, I'm so sorry why I'm asking you is. Oh, after you said no. If I say no, very kind. kind then that's fine baby big mong

Do what you want? Jump here. Oh no John please. Oh no Slapy dappity am I? Oh no John am I obliterating every ounce of sin say no no? This is how this is John's back baby. I'm back baby John your blurring is born again. It's back, baby. I'm back, baby. John, your blood baby is born again, it's a newborn baby. I'm accidentally blurred the line between all squish, squish, squish,

squish, squish, squish is back. Little squishery. Glorious, Stefan. Excuse me, Arnold, excuse me, Glorious, Stefan. But I'm going to see he got it right. How come he got it right? I'm taking this salsa over to my new friend Wheel Bear who appreciates the things I do for him. Oh, man. I should propose to wheel bear John

Here wheel bear gets me. He's a bear on wheels, but he has heart. Oh, sure Yeah, I mean if I had to marry any of us here. I wouldn't marry a wheel bear to let's take a vote who here you sir Come back for a second. What we're gonna take a vote. Who here? You sir, come back for a second. What? We're gonna take a vote. Alright. Who here? Kill him. Wait, I don't even know who we're talking about. Sorry, man. Where you have to kill you? Man, I prefer off my shot.

You would never set up a kill. You ruined him. He's gone forever. He's under that blanket and he's covered in blood. Because he's dead. I just killed him. You killed him. Did you know there's a rodeo king now? What? What? At Burger King's a rodeo king now what what at Burger King a rodeo king sandwich I saw it when I was looking at at use a door the blue on Twitter. Did you know the cockroach climb used to be a rodeo climb? Oh

Fun oh No, it is fun. He always says that's something. He always says he always says I put the fun in funeral He has a lot of things. He also says He always says he always says I put the fun and funeral. He has a lot of things. He also says He's gonna he says every single thing he says I think he says he puts the laughter and man's love that's what it was He also says look under the bed. I'm on the ceiling He also says he's gonna strum my pain with his fingers. He's gonna kill me softly. There's a lot There's a lot he says. Yeah, can I tell you he lives on on Lauren Hill in a Roberto check? No. Friends, we have lost our way.

We must come up with a plausible alibi for our friend Chant. Oh, Kramit, we lost our way years ago. Now, listen to me. I can't believe Chant said all of those things covered in blood. Pretend? We'll pretend like this Stark Lord. Uh, went to Queen Tatanya and accused her of incest, and that she then had him killed on her behest. Who is this Stark Lord guy? Is he, I told you, he's a big deal in the North.

Is he a good guy? It seems like he's gonna be a big deal, then he trends out not so much. Honestly, well, I thought he was kind of a bastard, but it turns out he's, I think he's actually a good guy. I mean, he was pleading with me before I killed him. Well, I've just got to say, I'm very surprised that he died so soon. I know that you'd only been talking about him for about four or five seconds

before saying that he was dead. Mm-hmm. But I got super invested in him in those four or five seconds and I'm like, the rest of this anecdote he's talking about is gonna be about this great guy. At the beginning of that minute, you thought, this whole minute's is gonna be about this great guy. At the beginning of that minute, you thought this whole minute's probably gonna be about this guy.

Yeah, and then when I found out that he was dead at the beginning of that minute, I'm like, what the fuck is the rest of this minute gonna be about? No, he knows. I will be honest, in the first like one to six seconds, I was like pretty invested and I thought like I was gonna like, you know,

pace out the news that I was gonna meet in Pustelo upon you but then in that seventh second I was just like let me just be through this let me just get to the point so I just made a lot happening that seven second I got bored in second two speaking rodeos eight seconds is how long it takes to say Row, do Guys Let's focus up. Why the show's over. I know not for the show, but just for our own mental stability We're all fucking cracking up John you just randomly killed a person. I didn't randomly. I thought I was doing what we were setting out to do Stark dark. I don't know, and it all rhymes.

Even if it was the Dark Lord, is that what we really want to do? Just kill him? Wait, that reminds me of something. I'll be right back. What? John. Did you just ask if we wanted to kill the Dark Lord or not? Yeah, of course.

That's the whole point. You kill him and then peace and happiness and love returns to the land of food. But, but you said, or... Would you kill him under any circumstance? Like, what if he was... Had his back turned to you? Would you just stab him in the back? Absolutely. What if he was trying to save a child?

Would you kill him in the act of saving a child? Well, perhaps under those very unlikely circumstances, I will allow him to save the child. And then, I would say, turn and face me, you evil minion of darkness. For now your time has come to an end for Yusudor, brought in this world for not but to destroy you as here, to break down havoc and a reign of terror that shall end this day Yeah, so I yeah, it's like the shit out of him. All right. All right. It's done. What's done is done? Who young stain, baby? What what I did it I killed him kill to the bark Lord? Oh

What I killed the bark Lord the king the king of the dogs. Oh No, you killed a dog mookie. Yeah, mookie. You can't do that because we're No, no, no, no, no, as I fucked up I killed the Stark Lord I remembered as our new was talking I was like yes. I have to kill the bark Lord a dark Lord dark What did I kill the bark Lord the king of the dogs? I killed mookie. Yes. Yeah. I'm covered in blood again I know and I'm gonna get back under this blanket I don't want to think about that little dead dog so sweet John

John, are you okay? Say something to him. He'll listen to you really? He's in love with you. I Don't think he's even really in love with me. You know, I don't think he's even really in love with me. No, I don't. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I know I'm a little bit irresistible. Uh-huh. No go on. So I get it. He's like, he sees me and he's like, having that in my life is gonna solve all my problems. That's not the case.

And two seconds later, he was like gonna propose the wheel bear to- Did you just call for me? Oh, do you say Tussador? Oh, no, no one said Tussador. I thought you just said Tussador. Absolutely not. What did you say? I don? Oh, no no one said Tussador. I thought you just said Tussador. Absolutely not What did you say? I don't what did I just say? I don't oh my bad. I heard wrong. Oh, but can I just let you know? You are beautiful. Oh you are

Beautiful Tussador inside and out Thank you Tussador. Are you single? I? Am are we all single I mean I'm married but no okay I know see that's that's what I was asking I was asking if you are you know I'm Paul Amherst my mom oh yeah I'm right of course what's your life's name well my wife's name is Madeline if you must know I must and I met her at a tobacco smoking party but tobacco smoking party. But tobacco smoking party?

We all put our tobacco into a bowl, and then we pulled it out. Yeah. And whatever tobacco we pulled, we smoked. Huh. And then we thought, oh, we made sweet, sensual love in the smoke rings of the tobacco. In smoke rings. So you had to be fast. I don rings, so you had to be fast.

I don't know if it had to be fast, it would have... What was that? You know Arnold, I think I've come up with a new way to deal with Tussador. Don't ask him any questions, and then he won't answer them. Oh, you're right. Yes. I'm going to be at the bar, eating saucalsa with wheelback. Okay, that was a statement

Did you have anything to say? Well, you know what since they're not recording a podcast right now I'm under no obligation to fill time with words so I Think I'm gonna stop talking to you and see what happens. That wasn't a question. I guess my job is done Goodbye That wasn't a question. I guess my job is done. Goodbye. Oh my god, Tussler just disappeared into a puff of bees. And now it's just me at this table. And I don't even really have enough cell phone reception to play around with my phone.

God, I really hate being by myself at a table. Oh, Chant, a Chant. So sorry, I forgot to be there. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What take off John please Sean? Sean please take off that blanket and sit in your chair and talk to me and keep me company So I don't have to be alone with my thoughts Sorry, this is just awkward. I'm sorry that I Decline your proposal. It's fine and I Don't want to tell you how to feel. I'm sure you have to be angry and Embarrassed and confused. I just feel like all to be angry and embarrassed. Enconfused.

I just feel like all the signs were there. Like all the signs were there. Really? Yeah. Look, fine. I made us best friends overalls. Yeah, which is a big deal. Like in Fune, you don't mess around.

There's a lot of things you don't do in Fune. One, you don't spit into the wind, okay? You don't tug on someone's cape. Alright, you don't mess around with Jim. Yeah. Alright, and you don't make overalls unless you're prepared to get married. Why? I don't understand.

I'm a stranger in a strange land. Did you drop something on my xylophone? I'm taking my xylophone over the wheelbar too. I just heard one note. Guys, I'm so glad we're not recording this. Yeah, can you imagine if this were the episode? I know. if I were Hank and I was listening to this I'd be like What the fuck yeah, it would be very disappointing yeah? Yeah, did you just barf I

Little bit use the dog I buffed a little bit big out of excitement Five room. Oh, I love rumors. Yeah, me. I'm young Yes, oh yay I'd went five for a room. Ooh, I love rumors. Yeah, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, Oh no, what? A Soke-al-Madia manager. Madia? I haven't seen her since her family reunion. A Soke-al-Madia manager. You mean social media manager? No, I said Soke-al-Madia manager.

Don't aren't explained to us. This might explain the weird messages that have been left at my door. Someone's been leaving these weird scrolls of messages written in blood on my door here. Whoa, what? Sounds like chunt. No, I didn't do it. Oh. I thought maybe it was you chunt, because you're really, you know, you're kind of cracking up lately.

Maybe it was me. What did it say? Well, here, let me get it out here. Let me look at it again. No, I'll put your penis away It says more merchant eyes in web of rage Web of rage Hmm more merchant eyes in web of rage web of rage more merchandise and web of rage 20,000 row ring orks guys, I can't Web of rage. More merchandise and web of rage, 20,000 row ring orcs.

Guys, I can't. I can't get past that I feel like I've hurt Chant's feelings. Honestly, I'm over it. What? Honestly, I just got married to Tussador. That's alive. Can you imagine? I mean, I feel you two deserve each other. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I meant it both in good and bad ways. I figured. Now, here's a question. You wonder why I'm rude to you sometimes.

And you seem to care a lot about whether you've heard chants failings or not. Mm-hmm. And yet, no such overture is made on behalf of you, Sador. You Sador, I love you. As a friend, as I'm learning as somethingor. You Sidor, I love you. As a friend, as I'm learning as something I should say, not just I love you.

Thank you. You Sidor, I love you as a friend. I'm glad who you say that. I love you, I love it. You know, I love that you're not super-mighty-way. No, you Sidor. No, oh no. What?

No, no, no. Who's he gonna be? No, I'm neither of you. I pick up that flower and hand it to one of us. No, I don't want to be here. I'm saying a fine ear return home. That's fine. My way in was just to get you to be part of the quest.

Once the quest is reformed and... What in quest? Yes. Can I say something? Since we're just kind of laying it all out there. Sure. I feel like the other day when I said that there's a ghost in my butt. Yeah. And you looked in my butt and I looked in your butt. Yeah. It was a prank. Yeah.

I really put a ghost in my butt. I mean, it was for the prank, but it's in there and it's stuck and I don't know how to get it out. Can I ask some follow-up questions? Absolutely. Do you want to get the ghost out? I don't know. It feels kind of fun. Okay. Okay. How do you think the ghost is happy in there? Yeah, because the ghost can leave it anytime. Oh, but ghosts are not, but ghosts. But ghosts are not, you know, they can leave on their own well. Oh, good.

Do you think this ghost has any unfinished business in your butt? Hmm, maybe. What a horrible thing, I've been doing that butt. Do you think that your ghost in your butt wants some soup? That's, that is maybe it. Maybe this is someone who died while Chuchu's child was still around. He knew about our butt soup expansion.

He died before the Dark Lord took over and now he assumes if he's in my butt, he'll get some soup. This is the first riddle we've solved. I know! Guys, can I say something? I have dozens of riddles that we've posed on the show. I feel like we finally solved one, so you sir, could you whip up some soup? Yes, I'd be happy to. Guys, can I say with 100% sincerity, and this is gonna sound like a joke, but I don't mean it that way.

I know we've been having a tough time this week, but when we just started talking about butts, I a hundred percent started to feel better. Oh, are you at your best? I think maybe. And I felt more connected to you, Chant, and I felt more connected to you, Yusador. When we were just talking about butts.

Mm-hmm. Like the early days. Like the early days. you used the door, when we were just talking about butts. Mm-hmm, like the early days. Like the early days. It's a shame that our listener won't be able to hear you at your best. Yeah. Here's what we do. If this were being recorded, which it's not,

I would say to Hank, if you wanna hear us talk more about butts, write and review on the eyes tune. If you don't wanna hear us talk about butts any more, follow us on Twitter. So eyes tune if you don't want to hear us talk about butts anymore follow us on Twitter So if you were those options again if you want to hear about butts if you want us to get back the butts Get in butts, which is have you heard that podcast? Oh, no, this is Tuesday door and this is chat and we're good and busts. What the hell? Did we not tell you about getting butts? It's our new podcast. Is the two of us talking about collecting butts?

Usador, how does it feel when you have a very popular podcast with other people and he decides to do a spin-off? Ah, I feel terrible. It's like I've just been cut out completely. Oh, Annal, I'm so sorry. You have value, friend. Shut up. You said, or I feel like all this time I've been jerked to you. Mm-hmm. Yes, that's right. And spending that time trying to become a closer friend with Chant. Mm-hmm. But in retrospect, me and you should be closer friends.

And fuck Chant. Good point. Hey. I'm sitting right here covered in blood I'm just a badger standing in front man covered in blood asking him to love me you killed two people to be fair I killed one person and a dog right it was a king of dogs two lords uh yes I did kill two lords not good do you want me to kill for you I'll kill another lord don't don't don't don't don't don't don't take it and don't take him up on it the mark lord the clerk lord who Do you want me a kill for you? I'll kill another lord. Don't don't don't don't don't go off and don't take him up on it

The mark Lord the clerk Lord who do you want the Lark Lord? I hate the Lark Lord. I like him Locks are beautiful. All right fine no more killing I'll stop killing is that what you want? Yes, that reminds me used to door if the dark Lord said Yes. This is very, very unlikely. And for a long time, I keep a very close eye on him and be ready to kill him in any second. Like you, like you would be when staring at him with like your wand, like, ready, like it, like kill range at all moments. Yes.

For how long? 100 years. That sounds like a sausage. Like straight, no sleeping. This is my only reason for existing, so why wouldn't I do it? Hey speaking of we should do a podcast We're like we exchange spells and like talk about being wizards. Yeah, not a wizard. I'm sorry You are not a wizard you are not a wizard. You're so much. It's took a name and

Maybe you know a spell or two, but you're definitely not a wizard Were you brought into the world? What are your two powers drive from? What what what forces of nature brought you into this world to defend the world? I see that you're angry. Yes, I recognize that. Thank you. Which means I'm going to step back, give you some space and time, and we'll have this conversation furthered when you are at a better place.

Can't answer those questions. I love you, you are loved. Shut up. You are beautiful. You're the worst. Clearly he's not a wizard. He could've just visited all those things off. In fact, he would take umbrage of the fact

that I didn't already know them. For if you said to me, oh, what are your powers to drive from? I'd say, of course you know my powers to drive from light and shadow. He'd say anything like that. He's just like, you're loved,

and walked away. You walked away. Yeah, should've point. that. He's just like you loved and walked away you walked away Yeah, should point. Yeah He wants to add he's not I know for it's work I thought he was gone for everyone exploded in that cloud of beads. I had me too. Are we trying to do something? Oh, no, we're not trying to do anything. Oh, just hang out. Were you trying to start the podcast? No, we stop we did a short episode. We did a short episode. Yeah, I'm just trying to make sure that you're okay. Yeah, I'm fine.

I'm honestly fine. Do you guys know how to dispose of a human corpse and a dog corpse? Yes. I'm going to transform them both into trees. Oh, nice. Oh, that's nice. That seems like that's a positive thing. Yeah, that'll be a nice reminder of the tree's distance.

Yeah. The trees will be dead, and the face of the dog and the man will be visible within them, and they'll be in unbelievable pain. Oh, wait! Even if their souls will be trapped in there for their souls... Will there be some sort of dogwood? Currently escapes will be reattached to those trees. Oh, let's not do that. It's the only way I know to get rid of a body.

Oh, I, you know, we could just dig a hole and put them in it. A what? Dig a hole and put them in it. Real quick, this is you at your best. Are we sure about that? I mean it was when we were talking about butts. All right, here we go. Let's talk about butts. I like... Big, small. I gotta go. I like big butts. Big, small. I gotta go. I like big butts. Well, the the widows over there said that you're being dishonest. I cannot lie. What if like a woman were to walk in like an idiot? Thank you. you