Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 29 - Nymph

Episode Date: October 2, 2017

A Forest Nymph stops by to help spread the word on Nymph Awareness Month. Also… special note for Rusty: stop listening at about 38 minutes in.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungGary, the Forest Nymph: Nnamdi NgweCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Ryan DiGiorgiTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is not real. Enjoy the show! Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune, I'm your host Arne and Eamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this was you need to know, about two and a half years ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago, into the magical, fantastical land of fune. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional portal behind a burger king in Chicago into the magical fantastical land of fune. Luckily I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the burger king through the dimensional

riff and I use that to upload a podcast I record every week here in the taverns for a million minute tour in the present town of hogs face in the land of fune. And I'm joined as always by my buddies, my good friends, my boon companions, who I usually introduce one at a time, but I have decided in the spirit of equality and friendship that I am going to somehow introduce them at the same time, both the wizard that talks and would then introduce him first. Yeah, I really, I really back myself into a corner with that one. Even if you would have said like, choose a door, which is a portmanteau of Chun use the door that would have been me.

True. How about this, my two friends who need no introduction who will now introduce themselves at the same time right now. I am. Boy, boy, boy, boy. Wizard of the 12th realm of a fizziest, Shadow. Boy, boy, boy, boy. Wizard of the Twelfth Rail, Motherfizziest Master of Light and Shadow, but maybe later of magical lights. Devourer of Chaos, Champion of the Great Walls of Trockus.

The elves know me as Fyangyog. The elves know me as Zona Newk's Sengies, and I am known in the North East as Gatsum Wainey's last name. My stars. And there may be many other secret names that I shall never reveal to you. Oh, and these names have such great powers. Oh, powers you can Scarcely imagine. Ah, if you were to utter one of these secret names allowed your face would grow flowers. Chant.

That works out pretty well. Yeah, I think that worked. Let's do it that way every episode from now on is a new norm new norm Yeah Speaking of which who is that new guy at the bar? That's norm. Oh every time he comes in here everybody yells his name Yeah, he's at a place where everybody knows his name. Yeah, does that make sense? Yeah, I know you know Sometimes I've always just wanted to go to a place like that. You're here. I am here. You'll do just wanted to go to a place like that. You're here. I am here.

You old doof. Barney. Yeah, guys, you know what? I just feel like talking about buttholes right now. I mean, you know I'm game. You know? Yeah, of course, always. I have two of them.

I do too. I've got one. Five buttholes. Check. All right. I'm gonna start a list of, I'm trying to be a little more professional about this podcast,. I'm gonna start a list of, I'm trying to be a little more professional about this podcast. So I'm gonna make like a rundown.

Wait, is that it? We're doing fun butts? Fun butts? Fun butts? Fun butts bits? No, I'm trying to like take it more seriously. Doing this podcast because I know that in some way, that is going to be the way that we will figure out

how to defeat the Dark Lord. So I'm gonna have like a rundown. So introduce the premise of the show, check. Talk about butts, check. Say glass anus, check. I'll set it a little bit. I'll have that one out. You don't need that.

And now we are in the section called banter. I carved out about three minutes for banter. I'm guessing we're gonna go way over that. Is this considered banter right now? Have we started? Because if so, I three minutes for banter. I'm guessing we're gonna go way over that is just considered banter right now Have we started? Because of so I want to I want to have richer banter. I feel like this is just small talk. Oh Oh, I have something oh, okay. Yeah, I've been using my one hour of computer time that I'm a lot of day per day and The more I look at stuff on earth the more I realize realized that I think I belong on earth I wouldn't be

I wouldn't be an earth person yeah so whenever you find whatever portal thing you came through I'd like to go back with you you know because I'm looking online and I I realize that you're one of your biggest pop stars is like a snake Taylor Swift yeah I was looking she's a snake she's a snake. She's a snake. It sings, which is amazing. And I have been seeing sneak previews for this TV show called Ballers, which is amazing. It's about a rock. It's about a rock. Who is it? Who represents? Who is it? A rock. What? I love rocks. I know. I think you'd love ballers It's on hypo of all the things the history of my planet has Presented the thing that you're most excited about is Yes, it's him those ballers

And I know you're thinking it's not about it's not about what you're about to say what we're about to say hippo balls Oh, no, I was gonna say that I was gonna say it's not too if it's him. Oh, yeah, it's it's pretty amazing Also you you measure your fruit by the foot, which is something I never was told like I feel like because you've kept so much Earth stuff from us when I go online. I just it's like looking into the most wondrous thing I've ever seen Hi to our length. Oh the foot. Yeah. I believe that's height, right? Most fruit isn't so far foot tall, but they use a foot. I don't know.

That's why it's so great. Oh. You never talk about earth stuff? Well, there's just so much earth stuff. To me, the stuff on earth is sort of mundane. But the stuff on your world is amazing. As nice as it is. And hippos' Ballers is mundane.

And there's nothing mundane about SOSSA! Oh, no. You see, this week I have created a new creation. I have recently followed and loved with the Earth delicacy SOSSA. We got a real mundane cook over here. Prepare yourselves to feast upon this amazing creation. It is a strange cousin to Salsa. Enjoy this Gweikamola. What's a Gweikamola? Gweikamola. Sounds like you're giving up in the middle of

saying a word. It's made out of avocados. It's delicious. Oh, just say that. Just say avocado mash. Avocado Salsa. Mmm. Mmm. Okay. All right, well, let me look at my run down here. Uh, use the word talk about salsa, check, me give deep sigh, check, uh, banter. I'm gonna put a question mark next to that one. I'm gonna remove it along, guys. We're moving along into this professional podcast. Is guess next, the next part?

Oh, yep. The next part is introduce the guest. guess so guys. I'm so excited. We haven't had a nymph on the show. Oh, so I've invited Gary the forest nymph check You know, I don't know what all nymphs look like but you you're kind of like Pleasure to meet you Gary. You're a magnificent specimen of a name. You know, I don't know what all nymphs look like, but you're kind of like half fish, half. This is gonna mean anything to you, but you kind of look like Michael Jordan, who's a very popular man on my world.

Okay, so that's a good thing. Yeah, oh yeah, absolutely. Then I'll take it. Yeah, except for your mustache, oh yeah, absolutely. Then I'll take it. Yeah, except for your your mustache, I would I would rethink how to rethink that. You don't like it. It's small. It's a little like why not more? Why if you're going to go mustache, why not go with more of a mustache? Oh, in nymph culture, the bigger the mustache, the more arrogant you are. Oh, I see. Humble, humble stitch. I don't think he looks like Michael C. Jordan. What's that?

Michael C. Jordan from Hebers the Wire. Oh, no, no, I'm not talking about Michael C. Jordan or Michael B. Jordan. I'm talking about the original Michael Jordan. First, there's Michael Jordan. Okay. Then there was Michael B. Jordan because you sort of classify them alphabetically.

Okay. And then after that, you're talking about in the future there will be a Michael C. Jordan because you sort of classify them alphabetically. Okay. And then after that, you're talking about in the future, there will be a Michael C. Jordan. Can I ask you something, Gary, was it? Gary, yes. And I don't mean to be offensive. Are you like, because you just seem timeless. Are you like 23 or you like 45?

Like you could be anywhere within that range. How old are you? I'm 60, 60, 60, 100. Yes. Oh, and it'll be a bit different. We have a different number system. Oh, sure. Well, yeah, math does not get along with Arnie.

That's true. So what type of nymph? Nymph are you? I'm a forest nymph. Okay. Yeah. So that just means I thrive in forests. And you have nodes, right?

Nymph nodes. Yes, I have nymphnodes you can see them You pull it off and this is why we need more Nymph awareness month. Oh, there's a month for awareness of it We need a big one from food and I didn't know that yeah, well, we're trying it. We're pushing it Oh, wait is it is it is it an Info-Wear-N-A-Month right now? Yes, one of the right now. I didn't even know, like, I need like an Info-Wear-N-A-Month Awareness Month.

Oh, an Info-Wear-N-A-Month is always at the beginning of Vichtosh. Oh, wait, what month are we in right now? August. Orgist. Orgist. Mm-hmm. How many days? It's the organ harvest.

Orgist. Oh, orgist. How many days are in Or the Oregon harvest. Oh, August. How many days are in August? 17 and a half. Oh, not enough. Not enough. It's like the shortest month. It is.

Well, it's one of the shorter months, yes. Not perfect. I think there should be an infant awareness month twice a year. Why not three times a year? Why not three times a year? Why not four times a year? Why don't times a year? Why not four times a year? Why would you an infinite form? I might be guys less not be nymphomaniacs Let's like limit the

So what are some famous nymphs? Oh, there's a ton of famous nymphs Have you heard of Jack the far snip? Jack the force I don't think so yeah, he invented Yeah, you guys would call them shoes What? Oh Shoes you guys the shoes you guys know the shoes Yeah, well I have little booties. Yeah, don't tiny little booties

Well, I have little booties. Yeah, tiny little booties. You invented those? He did. I gotta say, Colin doesn't get the credit he deserves. Oh, absolutely. If I was to ask you who invented booties, yeah, you would say, I don't know who invented booties.

Exactly. Exactly. Whoever did deserves a bootie call out. Oh yeah, absolutely exactly. I did that. Gary, can I see your shoes real quick? Yeah, can you know your shoes? You want to toss them? Yeah, just okay, and Arnie can you hear me your pin sure? So we talked about shoes check So I just want to make a check mark on your hey that looks kind of cool when you pull the check mark on the other one Oh, that was pretty nice. I don't want those shoes. It's a cool looking shoes

You guys like them. I'll give you 700 gold pieces for it. I'll give you a 100 gold pieces. What? Being out bit by chunt. Get settled down, boys. Get settled down. I'll think about it. Yeah.

So what does it do on a day to day basis? Yeah, and chronic. These are awareness. Frolic in the forest and dance the streams. And well, that's a forest, Nymph. I just wanted to be clear again as different kinds of nymphs. Sure, sure, sure. Oh, no, the forest, Nymph, typically wake up at dawn.

Yes, sure. Good time. And then the first thing we typically do is we do laundry. That makes sense. Yeah, the way you start the day. Yes. So you watch our rags and the stream. We do laundry. That makes sense. Yeah. It's been a waste of the day. Yes.

So, you wash our rags and the stream. Sure. Because then, you know, then you got all day for them to drive. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. So, we do that. Play games.

Because I games. Oh, yeah. Everyone was playing Dragon's Tail, or, you know, we go out. Kind of games we play. Cat or Doctor. Cat or Doctor. I don't know our favorites cat or doctor you don't know that one I I don't so it's cat or doctor what happens is I will say something or make a sound and you have to distinguish whether or not it's a cat or a doctor okay okay here we go mr.

Gary I checked out your vitals and everything seems to be perfect I'm gonna go with cat that's correct talking cat Who's posing as a doctor, but he's not really a doctor so he is a cat nice. I've got one. Yeah I am one of two broke girls and you've got cancer I feel like if I don't get this right I'll be done in. I feel like it's a cat was a K. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I was a K. Wow. You're dending this game. You're winning this game. Oh, I tried that. I was gonna work. Here's a here's mine. Meow. Meow. Meow. Three meows three meows take three meows calling the morning hmm woof Wolf is oh, that's a dog. Yeah, so dog you got me Yeah, that's good good. It was a dog posing as a cat and trying to

Worm his way into cat society so he can disrupt their lives Rude subtle expiring to someday for a doctor true guys guys guys I feel like it is Nymph awareness month. I know we heard about one nymph named Jack and then we move things along Let's have some awareness about some more nymphs. Yeah, oh, yes I think there's Jack here. She's yeah, we've got a stop getting distracted. Let's focus on the nymphs Yes, yeah, so you guys know about Barbara the water nymph? No, no detail. Yeah, do tell.

Babs. Babs. Babs. Like a nickname. Uh, uh, yeah. Now babs, she actually invented, um, the will. The will. Well, oh my gosh. Oh, yeah. Yes. Of course of course in my early days I met babs. She was very old At the time and I was only about 75 years old. I'm a little over 300 now. I'm not that you could tell I was delighted to meet her. She was a wonderful name Very talented and she deserves more recognition Can we do a toast to babs? Yes, of course. Should we should we clink wills or no, we probably still toast with drinks, right? Yes, that makes sense. Oh, yeah. Yes. As in nymph tradition, yes, we drink this ale. Okay.

This ale, okay Bull yum yum and Waggle our tails. Oh, uh, I'm so sorry to interrupt before we do this if I don't have a tail Arnie you're being rude. This is this is very I'm gonna be honest with you. This is very disrespectful. I'm sorry mid toast I just don't want to do it wrong. I guess. I'll just make I'll just make him grow a tail real quick. Okay. Oh, no Terran from Don't want to do it wrong, I guess. I'll just make him grow a tail real quick. Okay. Oh no. Terran from... Well, oh, that's weird. It's in front of you, Liggs.

Yep. Okay, I'll just pick up where I left off in the toast. We drink to you. We drink to babs. You're the best girl. You're so damn fab. Oh, now drink now. Drink now. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, of course, am most familiar with, uh, with, uh, Sophia, the cave nymph. Yes. Yes. She was a protector of the sort of emerald.

That's so many centuries. Oh, sort of emerald. Yes, yes. Soared, made entirely of emeralds. Not particularly useful. Yeah. Seems like it would be very fragile. Yeah, it's not. It was really, they were kind of really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, That's where I had my first kiss. Oh! Oh, no! No! No! No! No! Hey! No! Dish! Kiss and Tell!

Yeah! What was their name? My first kiss was with a rock nip. A rock? Was it Gene? It was Gene with a rock tongue. Oh, I love it. I love rock on ballers on Hiboh.

We were with the rest of the young nymph kids on this school trip, seeing the sights and the rest of the kids were ahead. And her and I were the back of the pack. The six or more nymphs is a pack and a pack of nymphs. And a butterfly, a butterfly, and that's the noise she made. She said, oh, and I said, I said, you like that. And she said, yeah. And I was like, me too.

She was like, we have so much in common. Kiss me. And I started to do what nibbs do. My nodes opened up. And, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, in my culture, that's, that's, sure, it's kind of, like an open node is never an end. In my culture. You'll probably only like watch 1200 at that point. culture that's that's sure it's kind of like an open node is never in my

culture we'll probably only like what 1200 at that point yes yes very young yes I was a young new man at that age it just must be nervous that your nodes are gonna open up in class yes control these your nodes drop by them they haven't dropped it's but they open up and which is it's just common it's common with me probably a little late, but not like, no. No, okay, it was just a little... Put just a little bit behind the lymph voice. Can I also just say congratulations on getting a kiss

by having a butterfly fly by and then going, you like that? I feel like that takes a pretty charming person to pull off because I feel like if something happened that I had nothing to do with and then I nudged someone and said you like that? Keep in mind that also he's as he said he was on the tail end of a six pack so yeah at that point Gary yes, I have a very important question for you Will you join me in mineest to defeat the Dark Lord? Will you swear your magical abilities and your great powers to helping me or come evil?

Okay. Wonderful. Well, that was easy. Yeah. It was easy one. So you're good at, what do you do? You cast spells, you do all sorts of water magic or forest magic,, trees, plants, you, that's that's I assume that's your job from day to day, yes. I work for my parents news company.

News company. News company. You know, news like information. Oh, right. That's right. That's kind of thing. Yeah. So at news is a thing where they make small books that aren't went to last very long, but tell you what's going on currently.

Oh, news ease are, if you're reading the news, there might be the letter E within the news. Those are news ease. And news ease is, is just news, like little bits of news that you can digest. That's what's great. It puts a milk on it. Yeah, a little bit of milk, a little bit of honey. Yes, honey. Yeah. Have I seen your face on a news ease box? I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I do virtue for cash. That's right. The perverts. So you spend your days creating stories

to tell people of the current events of food? Yeah, I try. I haven't got any good. My folks run the company and they're so sure. I think they're a bit tougher on me because they want me to eventually take over the company later, but you guys know any juicy gossip? We don't know anyone who killed King Bellaroth.

We definitely don't know who that was. We don't know where Prince Tom Blaine is hidden. Yeah, there's actually a long series of deaths that we don't know any. We don't know what happened to the Baron Ragoons wife. Yeah. Or his new girlfriend. We don't know anything about any of those things. So, barking up the wrong tree here. Yep, no news.

Good news. Here. Oh. Okay. Okay. Well, if anything changes, this is... Oh, we'll call you first thing. as soon as we find out anything interesting about Any murders or intrigue or plans to oh or throw the dark Lord or anything like that and so we just we just were prisoners here

We're just having a fun book club Not not much to report unfortunately Oh, you know what there might be a bit of business that you could spread around that we need some help with. Yeah. I mean, that... Quill, please. There you go. Thank you.

We found a special riddle in the basement here, and we can't completely figure it out ourselves, but maybe if you put it in the news, someone will be able to help us out. Share a clue. Oh, here's a clue. Okay. It services Good King Irving Clock,

rendered where Rasha foes embark. Behind our words no need to go, but find the final undertow. So we think it maybe has something to do with the Burger King on my world, but maybe someone here will know something about it? Gary, did you know Arnie's from another world? No, that's right, I'm from another world!

Oh, that's news! That's news! I didn't want to say anything, I didn't want to just, I assume it's weird, right? Yes. It looks very weird. Yes, yes. You look weird.

Well, it's mostly right now that tail still. That is a front tail. That's staying on your shirt too, still bothering me. Well. Well weeks. It's how do you wash things here? That's the first thing we do in the morning Does laundry in the morning? That's the opposite you are the opposite of a nimp what's what do we call you terrible opponent? Terrible is that The opposite of an in backwards that's best I could do. Yeah, that was good. That was good. Humpfen. You're a humpfen.

It's a humpfen already. It's funny. I thought of the same thing and then I didn't say it because I thought I could do better. Shot's fine. Where? I thought I saw an arrow flag by. That would be news. That would be news.

That would be news. Well, if you want to do a feature piece on me being a man for the whole thing, I'm it was on Arrow flag, but that would be news. That would be news. Well, if you want to do a feature piece on me, being a man from another world, I'm probably big news. Okay. Creature feature. Creature feature on the nymph month. Oh, I'm sorry.

It doesn't have to be this month. Maybe wait till next month. Is there like a human awareness month? A human awareness month? Maybe that was insensitive of me to suggest. I mean, what have humans contributed to our world? What is it? I don't know, probably.

It's probably something, but I don't want, I'm sorry. We're talking about podcasts. Yeah, I brought the first podcast to Foon. Look, I keep finding myself wanting to defend what humans have brought, but that's not the conversation we're having right now. I need to stop like, I need to stop impulsively being like, I know we're talking about nymph awareness right now, but what about me? What about my stuff?

Yeah, you're just fine. Well, here, yeah, please. Yeah, I can even nymph that I want to know the most about though. Yeah. It's you. What are some of these stories that your parents have not put in their news book? This one time in Bangalore. Have you guys been to Bangalore?

Of course. Yes. Yeah. No, where's Bangalore? It's a vacation. A lot of people take time off there. So the Southwest portion of food. Ooh, beautiful.

Thank you so much. Southwest City. Yeah, multiple sons. Mm-hmm. Ooh. They have an extra one. I was down there and I came across a gofer who was charging people to stay at a cottage down there.

Oh, I guess what? It wasn't his cottage. Oh, it wasn't his cottage. No. He had no right to be charging them to stay there? Exactly. Huh? Were they still able to stay there or did they get to the cottage

and that was the doors were locked or something? See, honestly, this response is kind of the same one I got from my parents. It was just kind of underwhelmed. Sure. Yeah. Well you see a part of being a gatherer of news is that you follow through and you check all your facts and you find out the whole story. You don't just take a rumor and then report that as a fact. But he was charging people to stay at a place. Mm-hmm. No, it wasn't him. It just seems like Bangalore is so far away. Like maybe that's news there?

They have two sons. Sure, yeah. I mean, the son is a daily star, but that doesn't mean that what you said is news. He was charging people to stay at a place that does not belong to him. Right. But were they upset? Was there somebody percussion of that? Were they filing charges against him with their local magistrate?

You don't know any of these things. I don't mean to criticize. I don't mean to be like, uh, sort of get parent here, criticizing your work, right? You sound like if you want to. You said, or you're coddling him, all right? Uh-oh. He's never gonna learn unless we take a little firm or stand. This fact.

Wait, cheers, he's examples. Look, Gary, it's time that you became a news person. It's time that you, you, you know, pulled yourself up by a shoe straps. Well, maybe I didn't always want to become a news nip. Oh, here we go. Oh, dear. The juice is loose. How dare you speak to me like that.

I'm your surrogate father. So you want to get out of the news game. What do you think you're able to do? Gary, answer your father. Well, I've always been good at making food. Have you tried my avocado salsa? No, no. Sigh, check.

What do I do with this? I put it, take one of those chips, put a little bit of the avocado salsa on it, and then eat it. Isn't it delicious? Oh, oh. It's thick. It is thick it is thick

This is spicy spicy and creamy all at the same time Yeah, this delicacy has been created by you so no I have once again defeated bland flavors You should call it thick and spicy hey keep pass me one of those Nebby's my my notes You should call it thick and spicy. Hey, keep. Pass me one of those napkins. My notes. Oh, you got notes in the salsa. This is a good, it's good for your notes to breathe. You need to confront your father and tell him that you'd rather be making food than being a news person

if that's what you really want. Oh, yeah, that me. Are you willing to spend your whole life until you're 300, 100 years old? Telling him that you are something you're not. I didn't think that far ahead. It's kind of day to day, this thing. I understand.

If you're going to talk to your news gathering family about how you don't want to do what they do, you need to think about how you're going to communicate that to them. You have to tell them why you don't wanna do this anymore and who you really are and what you're gonna do with the rest of your life and why? Did I already do wine? And where you're gonna go and how you're gonna do it. And when?

Yeah, and sometimes why? You know, this reminds me, you know, in Baller's this sentient rock has to Come to terms that he has to put his past behind him and seek out what he wants in life He has to be open and honest with those around him even though he's a sentient rock. He has to become one of the ballers Does that make sense? beep beep beep beep this just did What was this beep?

What were those beeps? That's how we start our news. Oh, he's screaming. Let him do it. We want to get attention. I'm more so sorry about this. Sorry, let's go back to the beeps. This is a news ease.

Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep this just in You guys are right What enough we've opened my eyes and that's your newsies. Do you think that was about us? Oh? Porto a car. I remove your tail. Oh, thank you. Oh, we'll Gary Be beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep Thank you. We'll Gary Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb saying it and I was just trying to... Don't do that. Don't do that. Now, are you going to go home? You confront your parents, finally? Do you think? Yes.

Well, that's wonderful. I hope you'll come back and tell us how your life is a chef. I'm a bit of a chef myself and I enjoy creating wonderful delicious creations. And I would love to share recipes with you if that's truly the path you end up on. I would love that. We could wake up in the morning, do our laundry, wake in cook all day, and then come here with piles and piles and piles of salsa. You know what to that? I'm gonna say we toast. Oh, a toast.

You're a toast, or... Drink, kind of, th-m-ow, plath. Oh, that tails back. Oh a toast. No sorry. Drink, no thumb out, plath. No, no, tails back. Hey everybody, we're gonna do a toast. Two of my friends and one that's is the host. Everybody drink, put it down your mouth. It's gonna go from the top,

but in all the way, down south. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I put the cup in my mouth. Like you said, your instructions were to put it coming to mouth, right? They weren't instructions, it was toast. You said put it in your mouth. You just, that's too literally.

Be, be, be, be, I'm joking. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Well Gary, it's been so great to learn more about you and to raise more awareness about NIMS. It seems like Chans only got a few more minutes to live, but some kind of help for choking, but I'm really hopeful that you can talk to your parents and move forward with the life that you want for yourself. Thanks for having me and thanks for helping me. And thanks for hosting me. Oh, what did you do?

I believe that you can do anything you put your mind on. And it's maybe it's just because you look like such an amazing person from my world who's renowned for his skill at selling underwear, but I just believe in you. Thanks, guys. And you know what, this tiny mustache, for his skill at selling underwear, but I just believe in you. Thanks guys. And you know what, this tiny mustache, I'm gonna let it grow into a full, full, man-chew.

Oh wow. Have you told you about food man-chew? No, it's food man-chew. It's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a-it's a great guy. Oh good. I also I swallowed that cup so I'm fine. That's your good. I'm all good. Yeah. Should we do some emails? Oh yeah sure. John, have you got any emails this week? I have an email here. This is to chunt at Gmail account. That's chump with 60s. It says chunt. I notice your favorite brew is meat with a little raspberry in it. Is this a reference to castorine which comes from the anal glands of beavers, and creates vanilla and raspberry flavoring?

I guess what I'm asking is, have you ever squeezed a beaver anus into your drinks? Oh my god, that's true weirdly, that's something that I know about. That's from my world. My world. Yeah, in my world, not a lot of people know this, but a lot of vanilla flavor comes from a badger anus, I think. Ah, interesting. Here's a question. Mm-hmm. Why not just use vanilla?

That's a very good question. Probably because it's so hard to get vanilla, and it's such a disgusting process. And it's so easy to touch a Badger's Anus. I mean, it's difficult at first, but it gets easier over time. Your world is stupid. Look, it's such a, I don't know.

You know, I spend a long time on my world, like, as a trivia writer, like working, making video games for this company called Jackbox Games. For everything I hear, they continue to make great games that come out every year. Mm-hmm. And, uh, yeah, so my brain used to be filled with all of these amazing facts about things from Earth.

Weird trivial details like that. We'll tell us more. I want to go to Earth. I don't, I mean, I used to know a bunch of stuff like that, but I guess I don't know, maybe it's just getting older or whatever. I just feel like a lot of those memories are gone now. This. I've noticed a couple of my memories aren't quite what they used to be. How did I think about it?

Some of my memories gone. Yeah. What are we talking about? Emails. Emails. Hey, you know what? I've also got an email here. Do I though?

Hey, I've also got an... Arnie, Arnie, what? You're trying to read a piece of bread. Oh, sorry. Here. Oh, yeah, oh, okay. Yeah, I'll take the bread. I remember everything I eat. Would you just eat?

Piece of bread. Check out. No. But he read that off his hand. Looks like he read that off his hand. It looks like he wrote it on his hand. Here's the email I got to magic tavern at puppies that supplies is a real email address. Hello Arnie Chunt and you, Sador. I know what you did this summer.

I don't mean when you burned off Jennifer Love Hewitt's toupee. I mean when you told Hank to take me out. In retaliation, I've pushed a jar of spices toko seasoning through the dimensional portal with a note attached to that another two jars will appear after you've been taken out. A note came back asking how much you weigh, so just say 180 if anyone asks, hey, well thank you, be cool about this, I'm trying to get a good deal, warmest regards. Rusty. Wait, I can't remember, do we not like Rusty? Rusty is one of our listeners on earth that we don't like and don't trust, and I guess we did

sort of suggest to our other listeners that if they could find Rusty they should try to take him out. Well that was probably a poor decision on our part. Yeah. Well, Rusty, we apologize. See you, and we hope that you're well, and that you're listening to the podcast. And I hope that you and Hank are having a, I hope you and Hank get together sometime. Perhaps you should go to a festival where the two of you sit around

and listen to him hello from the Magic Tavan, all two of our listeners. Rusty, things were said, which we regret, but there's no need to keep escalating this rivalry between us. So let's just let bygones be bygones. And also, Hank, if you're listening, kill Rusty's family. What? Well, what?

Kill Rusty's family. It'll What? Kill Rusty's family. It'll teach him a lesson. We can't just threaten Rusty. You should've told me. He doesn't, Rusty doesn't fear death anymore. He's really doing anything. He's really listening first. Oh shit.

Rusty. Stop listening. Rusty. Run it back about 30 seconds and stop listening. Can we put this in the show notes? Rusty. Stop listening. Right before we tell Hank to kill your family.

It's good idea. Have we thought about having show notes? Show notes? Let's gross. Brood. You like that? Carry I have a question. Like as a forest nymph. Do you get along with the other types of nymphs? Well, my first kiss was with a rock nymph. Oh, that's right. You don't see type if you. Yeah, and grow up like the way I grew up. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You don't see type if you yeah, and grow up like like the way I grew up. Yeah, I mean exactly

You don't see other types of nature that you drive your power from no, no, but you just It's kind of coexist. Yeah, like a rainbow. Oh Beautiful. Yeah Fuck you Rusty. That was fun, huh? But remember, none of it was real, especially any jokingly implied threats on the families of listeners who might coincidentally be named Rusty. Usador The Wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant The Badger was played by Adel Refi.

Gary The Nymph was played by special guest Namdi Ungwe. Namdi performs and teaches improv and sketch all over the world with his group Three Peet. Check them out on Twitter at Three Peet Comedy. Although from the Magic Tap, from was produced by Arnie Neekamp, Evan Jacober, and Ryan D. Georgie. This one edited by Ryan D. Georgie.

Music by Andy Paulin, to logo by Aller Lebonne, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistants by Garrett Schultz. Need more proof that this is all the delusion of Chicago improvisers and in no way real? Come to our live shows! Arnie and the gang will be in Brooklyn on October 5th at the Murmur Theater and in Washington DC in November 14th at the sixth and eye historic synagogue. Take it some details can be found at hello from themagictavern.com, as can lots of cool t-shirts, magnets, and other merch to just, you know, waste your money on. Oh, remember to rate and review the show on iTunes helps us keep up the whole appearances of it being not real, which is not.

And as always, thanks for the Chicago podcast co-op and thanks to Airwolf. and thanks to Airwolf.