Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 34 - Pulcifer the Unassuming (w/ Mike Pesca)

Episode Date: November 6, 2017

We’re joined by a very famous guest… or, rather, his father was famous. He seems okay. It’s Pulcifer the Unassuming.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungPulcifer the Unassuming: Mike PescaMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Chris RathjenTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. Hey there, just good old omniscient me. Johnny Bookends reminding you there are no other dimensions, we're on this big blue marble

fly and solo. And now, familiar figures approach a well-worn oak table, illuminated by flickering candlelight. Yeah, I can do ambiance, sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon, I'm your host Arneanie Camp. If you're not a listen to the show before, this is everything you need to know. About 2.5 plus,ish years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of Foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a slight Wi-Fi signal

from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload this podcast. I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, in the newly liberated town of Hogsface, liberated kind of, in the land of fun. And I'm joined, as always, by my buds, by my co-hosts, by my co-runners of Hogsface, uh,

shunt the talking badger. Oh, yeah, baby. How you doing, bud? I'm doing great. Yeah. And I'm doing good for food for Hogsface. I know. We're trying to, I guess, act locally a little bit. Yeah.

We've been, you know, for so long, we've been focused on New Southores Quetzal to defeat the Dark Lord, who is so far away. But you know what, let's take a little bit of time. Let's make hogs face better. Exactly. And I'm still, you know, I'm ahead of the guards. And I'm just trying to disperse them where we need them. And we do come down on crime, but it's a real like farm to table coming down. Like it's a real, a very local coming down, you know. Oh, a very local coming down.

Yeah, we're not like your corporate guards, we're like, we're locking up in jail. That seems pretty straightforward and typical, right? Oh, so you're like, oh, I'm being locked up by a local. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's so... It's like, oh, it's not some faceless thug beating me up. It's my neighbor.

It's my neighbor. Oh, good. Absolutely. That's not gonna hurt more. No. That's not gonna feel like a betrayal no no no huh and and I also You'll be happy to know that I reopen to choose child Oh, I'm so happy my favorite star

I can come back and start eating there. Oh good. That's your favorite storyline ever. Yeah, that minus the introduction of You bear I don't even remember that hey, I'm also joined my my other co-host and a co-runner of Hogsface, Yousador the Wizard. I am Yousador. Wizard of the twelfth realm of a fesious master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of the great halls of Tarakas, the ills Nummius fying Yelik, the dwarves know me as zoomin' in, who's stangu-chase. And I am known in the northeast as gas- Glacian as Mastar, and I may be other secret names you do not know,

and ye pray that none of these words do accidentally fall within nine-ing sight or ear-shot. For if they do, they would cause your very nipples to explode off your chest. What? D.M. If these words fell within my eyesight? Yes.

You know, I thought at one point when he said, but yay. I thought he was using a stop there. I was like, oh, that's pretty, it's pretty uplifting, but yay. No, that is nice. Do you have any names that would make my nipples just a little bit smaller? Just a little smaller. Just a little bit smaller. I don smaller. Just a little bit smaller. I don't think I have a name that does that, but I could certainly cast a spell or find

a poultus. Or do you have a spell that would make my shirt just a little bit heavier? You have any nipple problems? I mean, problems. I say I have a heavy shirt to wait on nipples to the left flat. I think it's nice that your nipples poke through your shirt because they like so nicely frame the stain in the middle of your shirt. Oh, yeah, oh, but yay, but you said are more importantly What have you been doing locally to make hogs face better this week? I left hogs face. Oh

Good I left hogs face. Wait, you know what the fun mine steve that's why it's been such a good week It is it has been hasn't it been such a better week in Hogsface, and I just realized why, because Yusur wasn't here. No, but that's not what I meant. I don't know if I'd say better, I'd say a little quieter, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, you just sort of stand me. I left Hogsface and went back to the great halls of Turokis, and I did then comb through scroll and tomb and grimoire looking for.

And tomb? Tomb. Tomb? I I say to yeah, you said to him. Oh everything okay buddy. Oh, you know what I said that there were some tombs They were in to oh Tom tom I had to go down into it. You say to you say to me Tom's I say Tom Guys this is getting into via real looney tombs and in these books I did look fucking knowledge They would allow me to defeat the void Oh, that's right. Oh right. We're supposed to defeat the void or at least avoid it. We got to avoid the void Yes, are you ready to let very least? Could we annoy the void? Doing that now probably you know whatever we doplay is going to get us there eventually. Guys, we're doing so much clearly to make Hogs face better and save the entire land

of Foon, but I'm really excited to talk to our guest. I think he's kind of famous or at least comes from like a famous family. Maybe you guys will know better than me. Guys, I'm excited to introduce Hulsifer, the unassuming. He's a local scholar. You could say I've been working on my degrees, several of my degrees, trying to, you know, impart any wisdom that might be in your shot, eyesight, or nosewaf. I've been working on some nosewaf, which is all the senses. Yeah. And you're right, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I if you know of his work, I don't well, but Wise is in his name.

He, right, he was more than wise, so they say, and this is what a lot of my scholarship is based on, just sort of going back and interrogating the text of Amosadist wise. So he was known among other things. He defeated the demons of Swaboda. That was him. Yeah, well, he was the one that we could get into what is known and what is said about

his defeat of the or his orchestration of the defeat. But also, we should of course question what is really defeat because not to get sidetracked here, you know, it's really easy. I find and in my scholarship, I have found, it's really too, when you are a fronted with an enemy, a many horned, several malved, devouring of villages, children, enemy, who are demons, it's easy to demonize them. I find.

Oh, sure, it's very true. Yeah, it seems like you really, like, it's gotta be super easy to demonize demons. It is, I don't know where the terms come from. That's not my field. My field is not really so much the actual text, more of the meaning behind the text. So it's a post textual, textualism that I'm engaged in.

A masadist was more, he was more a, let's invent a goddess so beautiful that we will stun the demons. They will be pulverized, and then they can be slayed. And I'm just asking, what is beauty? Oh, yeah. This is my question. What is...

He made that damage, you jerk! So I'm just asking, what is beauty? Oh, wait, hold on, I'm sorry. Not to get sidetracked, but... What was that? Pulse over. Wait, I thought... There was a little

Did you all right, Pulse over did he come did he visit? Yes, I believe so yes, there was a visitor. Yeah, you your face got crazy. Okay, so I Should also divulge that I am Co-existing we are you know, you could call it a bit of Lecanthropy you could call it I don't know if the word is possession. Oh body roommates. Yeah, yeah, I think of myself. Maybe is by special Oh And he is a wear-bore and he is within me and sometimes he presents himself his name is nuttuts And he is within me and sometimes he presents himself. His name is Nuduts.

Well, isn't that my special? Yeah, Nuduts the wear-bore. Well, maybe we're try-special because as a wear-bore, he, well, maybe I'm the wear, it's very hard and I don't like to classify or come down. I believe that there are really seven different forms of species that a person can be. Oh, wow.

I've heard of this. I've heard of wear-bore, of where more of this is where more. And that's why that I don't like to judge the where more and this, where wolfness, wolf awareness, wolf menness of anyone else. Especially since it's wolf awareness. I was not aware of that, but then again, I am on a Zoom.

Then it's working because now you know. We know, yeah. Wolf awareness, I would assume would be objected to by the werewolves who want to you know work under cover of dark now have you be aware of well it's not just werewolves it's wolves in general correct I believe so it's for wolves werewolves and now a werewolves wolves werewolves a werewolves forced wolves dire wolves, dire wolves, air wolves, timber wolves, timber wolves, wolf blisters, wolf blitz, wolf blitz, the wolf's the wolf's the wolf's shine, from the great who I am, totally a wolf shine, dick wolves, who are just like half-holes, yeah, all of them, dick wolves are the worst, but I feel like they're just

everywhere, it's so ubiquitous, yeah, and I find they're somewhat formulic, but satisfying to, oh yeah, look, hey, if I see Dickel, I wanna see it till the end. Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah, every time I leave Hogspace and find myself staying in some inn, I immediately say, is there any dickwills around? I'm bored. Yeah, you're in an inn, you just look out the window

and you go, oh, there's a dickwool on. Dude, this is a dickwool on. Two things I ask when I go into an inn. Do you have any dickwills? Do you have any turkey penances? Did you want to list the seven different forms of species? Well, the first one would be what we call source spatial. You know, but the what a sorcerer would present himself as that particular species or itself.

Sure. Yeah, it's a continuum. It's what I'm saying. I'm new to this world, but it's simply even people on this world are still just trying to get their minds around how many different kind of species there can be. And some people seem upset about it, and they're like, oh great, why do we keep adding ones? But it seems like a good time to just kind of like,

listen, you have to understand that in some of the hinterlands, they have long segregated the species so that there is one Watering hole for say the werewolves and one watering hole for the source gender Well that is I mean it's just something that we have to gradually pull people from Pulse of her It's just something that we have to gradually pull people from. Pulls over. Mm-hmm. Do you feel like you're in conflict with this whereboard that lives within you? It seems like the whereboard and you don't seem to agree about things.

I don't necessarily need anyone to agree with me, but I like to think of myself more as a where and him less as an unaware bore. Sure. And it's not a denigration in any way. I like to pull him along. It's not under here. I can't stand him. And sometimes what I do is I look within

and I question myself and I get to a higher plane of consciousness. Since you have an awareness of the wear board. Is that wear on you? Really is location specific. So it really depends on where I am. Does it ever depend on your on some? What's your physically sort of... Yeah, right, right, right, right, my, where I am and what I'm wearing, and it does, in fact, kind of, I guess, road me or wear me down. Yeah, you know, Arnie, I know a binary, so I'm a little bit familiar with this sort of discussion. Oh, with this topic.

What's the binary? A binary is a canary that's sexually fluid. Oh! And I support that. Oh, that's great. Well, that's wonderful. That's wonderful. He does, I'm sure he doesn't need my, he can great. Well, that's wonderful. That's wonderful. He does, I'm sure he doesn't need my sword.

He canary hit it. Oh, you don't need my sword. Now, Pulsifer, have you ever considered traveling to the town of Tilk, and meeting with the great wise people, Stacey and Clinton, who would tell you when not to wear? In fact, I've been to Tilk, and Stacey was out. Oh. Clinton was there and, you know, Clinton gave me some really good advice that I try to incorporate in my presentation. You look like an idiot! And that's why we...

By the way, guys, every once in a while I feel like I burp or have indigestion, does he present himself? Yeah, there's definitely... Oh, do you not know how often he presents himself? Because he's presenting himself a lot. Oh, how many times has he present himself? Yeah, there's definitely. Oh, do you not know how often he presents himself? Because he's presenting himself a lot. Oh, how many times has he shown up? Oh, seven or eight. They're very small bursts, though. They aren't long, prolonged moments.

Just small outbursts. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what's going on. He has, depending on the phase of the moon, where that is in the lunar cycle, he has been more and more present, and Nudettes, in fact, has somewhat fashioned himself into what you might call an expounder of his theories. You could see him in the horse's blood, but also there's a new system

where as certain shells, when put up to your ear, he can be in the ear for hours at a time. And there is, you might not know about this, it's not very mainstream, but he actually has millions and millions of acolytes throughout the land, who are hearing his particular take on what's going on. He's aligned with the Dark Lord. He says he's not. He has what I would think of as some wild theories, but you know I can't tell him what to think. So you have a wear bore living in you name Nuddits. Who has it sounds like a very popular shell cast? Or you

know, you know, you've mentioned that you can watch things sometimes by killing horses and watching things in their blood that's right so he's just like kind of famous and food he's influential in ways that maybe we don't even know about yeah there are hundreds of people who but I don't really want to give voice to his theories if you will. It's not your choice. I got millions of listeners and people know 10-11 was an inside job. One of the things he does talk about is he's a 10-11 truth or which is you probably know this. He doesn't believe the numbers

10 or 11 exist. Oh no. Right. This is so important. Numbers. They are. I can do it without 11. I'll be honest. 10? 11's a weird one. Like most of the other numbers fall in a soy order. You got your regular numbers Yeah, and then you got your ones that end in the teen. Yeah, I feel like eleven's the best part

I mean without eleven that whole show falls apart. I understand the appeal of it though. I do not agree with it For I get it you're going one two three four five six seven eight nine. Fuck it a dozen. Yeah, let's Have you received me sometimes in Funy order? donuts or something, and you get fuck at a dozen? Yeah. And that's where it's like instead of 12, you might get like 30, because the baker's like fuck it. A dozen. Like he's checked out, like it's probably his last day or her last day.

So tell me how the slow one, when I order nine, I get a dozen, because 10 or 11 don't exist. So there are some advantages, I guess, to being a 10-11 fruit. Yeah, because it goes right to a dozen. So she's really famous and fun. He's really famous, he's really influential. A lot of people believe this crazy stuff. In the lands where they've given people the ballot,

it's affecting races, his particular ideas. You are the most mythical creature of all. For depending on what moment you step into that ballot booth, you may be either a hard-line conservative or a very strong liberal. You are the sweet voter. I, right. The other thing about being a 10-11 truth are in practical terms, really ruins time,

because no hours have a 10th or 11th minute. And no minutes have a 10th or 11th second. Yeah, which is weird because the people who listen to his shell cast have no idea how they know when to tune in. Well, I know is that I go into a bit of a fugue state and then my voice hurts a little bit. Sure. And then I come out of it and all of a fugue state and then my voice hurts a little bit. Sure. Yeah, and then I come out of it and all the sun people in the lands where they have the ballad are making poor decisions based on fiscal issues.

Very sad. Why don't we actually take a quick break? And I'm, I wonder if after the break we can maybe talk to nutts a little bit? If you don't mind. I don't know if that's a really weird thing. It could work, there are some, shall we say, triggers or unsheathings. That bring him out.

Okay, so we could try to. All right, let's take a quick break and we'll- You guys will be so lucky! We'll talk to Nuttitz. So, Pulse of Art, I'm, you know, like I said, I don't know if it's like invasive to kind of want to talk to a part of you that you're not- My hopes, my dreams, my aspirations. Now hold on one moment.

I also want to speak to Nuttitz, but- Oh, I'm here for- I'm here for- I thought you meant more- Um, ethereal, but yeah, that's the part of what you wanted to talk about. I- We want to talk about you, too, okay? I'm sorry It's not about the very famous person that's inside of you. Like he is influential. Oh, okay. Yeah, I would go with Infamous sure as in he is inside me inside famous

Yeah, I would like to speak to you about your father Amosidist, yeah, I'm a sadist wise That's how you want to talk to me. Mm, a masadist, yeah, a masadist. So I saw him. That's how you want to talk to me. Oh, yes, I act about a masadist. I should have heard of a masadist. I know as, I know as Modi to the board, but I don't know as a masadist.

A masadist, as I said, he defeated the demons of Swabota by creating the beautiful Angel Barara, whose visage froze them and they were slaughtered. He also cured a very famous famine, the famine of Nguyen Haise. And he, again, I think that we shouldn't question. And this is, you know, this goes back to my title, Paul's For The Unassuming.

We should not assume. That is what I mean. And that is why I've been named the Unassuming. We should not assume. Well, what he did was, he went to other dimensions, and yes, and it was harvest time at the banquet of Jorp, and he transported their foods to the people of Noon Heiss and they were cured.

And of course, you can see how problematic this is, right? Yeah, but I can. This is, I, you went to another dimension. Yeah, none of this food was locally sourced Is it sustainable? I don't know Um the whole issue of MGOs magically generated organisms sure that comes into play Yeah, so this is this is the sort of thing with my father Who was uh it was always assumed that he was doing good for the world, but what about the ripples of discontent, misunderstanding, and M.G.O.'s?

Now, I should say that Amosadis is maybe the most famous non-whizoured magician. He is a fantastic sorcerer, born a human, learned all of his magic, but such amazing feats he did accomplish. He created a goddess to defeat the demons. That's pretty cool. But also to your point, Puls of O, it's quite irresponsible. Not there's nothing goddess running around. What? I'm imposing a religious structure upon people who did our demons or demon kind. You did not ask for it.

May I say to you, Puls ofulseful I believe that being unassuming yes is the greatest wisdom of all bless you well let's not make any assumptions about being unassuming well all right it has often been said and I remember my father demonstrated this in a lesson once when he, you know what happens when you assume you make an ass of you and me, and since he was a transmogifier, he literally actually did that. Oh, and he built into asses.

Yeah, yeah, then himself. Yeah. That's really, really improved, it's as far as he would go. Wow. Exactly. I gotta say, Bolserver, that's gotta be tough. Growing up with a dad like that,

living in his shadow has been nothing less. He would also- Because there's a darkness around you. Well, he would, Necromance and, you know, dabble in the dark arts. Did he magically leave his shadow over you? A penumbra, at least, shall we say? Wow, so that's like your chemical necromancer.

Like that's it's sort of lingers on top of me. Yeah, and it's been a bit of a I would say a black parade of bleakness upon which the shadow has been cast. Can't believe when he died he left the curse of his tank on you. And I feel that time every day. There's no jared way that should be happening right now. No, I do taste that taint every day. I do admit as a younger wizard I was quite taken with a Mocidus and his great feats and I tried to emulate a couple of them and I myself attempted to defeat the goblins of sparrow. The goblins of sparrow? Yes, yes, with their greasy terrible food.

So I created a just a nice looking lady to confuse them. The goblins of Sparo. Yes, yes, they're greasy terrible food So I created a just a nice looking lady to confuse them. Oh, you're like I can't make a guy. I can't make I goddess That's that's stupid. Mm-hmm. They were distracted. Sure. I find that when I travel from town to town That's when I most often see the demons of Sparo. Yes. Yes. Oh, yes, oh the side in taverns on the side of the road Yes, or sometimes you go into a large shopping structure a little bit of a small one there. Yes, yes, oh, yes. On the side in taverns on the side of the road. Yes, or sometimes you go into a large shopping structure. There's a small one there. There's nothing in a slice. Sure. Yeah. They sell food by the slice. Oh, by the slice. Mm-hmm. Okay. Yes, they slice all those food. It's in such... Yeah. It doesn't matter what it is. They pize. That's a normal thing to serve in slices, but they'll give you a slice of chicken. They don't care. But also that is the payment form they accept. They would just slice you Oh, yeah, don't drink a pond don't cut you. There's also some around around that same area

If you might see a sparrow. There's a lot of expedient pandas. Oh, expedient pandas They just get shit done real fast. They cook it up real fast. Uh-huh. I mean you may shit your brains out But man that food got too fast. I thought that's why people went there I'm not understanding the business model of the Expedian part of torture their bodies? Yeah, just to expunge, perhaps you've taken a paltus or a potion that you need out of you and then you go to the Expedian and then it's in a whole new service.

Little culinary SNM. Yeah, I'll be down for that. Absolutely. But paltus, maybe you know what? I think we just learned a lesson. I assumed that that's what you made an ass out of you and me. So also, how do you thought that maybe the way to get out of your father's shadow is just not focus on him so much?

Like, it seems like you've dedicated your whole life to your father. I have tried to question and try to not assume the lessons that were handed down to me. And this is why I've put many years of work into this. And I don't know, do you have the concept of tenure in your world? Yeah, I mean about ten years. Well, yes, I love ten years, eleven years, that doesn't make sense.

It's a bullshit! You're on your 12 year! So here in our world, that I know you're a visitor, there's the concept of chasing good gold far things after bad. So I feel like I've done a lot of important work and I'm on the verge of getting published in horse's blood and other.

So even if you question it, you feel like you're pot committed, which is a metaphor for like going to expedient panda. Just pot commit. It's also which term. Yeah, yeah, call Jordan. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was thinking of a pot. It's like you got a, I'm committed to get a pot.

Yeah, exactly. So yeah, but I sort of feel like the stress of that wouldn't cause someone to Internalize all of that stress so much and it would be looking for a release valve. You know, I I say I hear what you're saying And I wouldn't want to judge it. It's all what happened. I gotta get out. I have a point to make I'm the real boss of her. Oh, this this guy I have a point to make! I'm the real Bolster-Hur! Oh, this- this guy! He's Bolsheik! He's bear-shit! He's Bolsheik!

Two boxes kill you! Tell the level was an inside job! But as much as I hear your point, and I don't want to reject it out of hand, I think that... we all contain multitudes. That's all I can say about that. Anyway, Bolster-Hur! You got a molding tube! I'm gonna tear you alive!

It's so, I gotta say, Pulse of R. It's tough for me. I come from a world that makes me want to like try to psychoanalyze you and what's going on, but this is a world where there might not be a psycho analytical explanation for what's going on. It might just literally be that a wear board is somehow inside your body Yeah, I would think that that would be the obvious I say just pretty obvious to me. Yeah, yeah, absolutely Do you guys have daddy issues on this world? Is that a thing? Well, I've read some periodicals But I don't know if one called daddy. How often do you read these periodicals? Periodically, but Pulse of our I'm just really interested in it. Are you the real one or is not it's the real one?

Well, you know, that's a lot of my scholarship. Shows the question of what is real, what is the received truth? Uh-huh. What is me? This is what I'm saying the whole time. Are you? How many listeners does this guy have? They can't even get tenure to to be university.

Or where the hell school has been teaching it to boxes, kill people! Pulsiver, are you your father's son or are you just a prison containing your father's son? That could be a chapter that I'm working on. That's good, I like that. Pulsiver, I have what might seem like a strange question to you, but how do you feel about boxes of juice? You know, I rarely I don't see how the square box and the fluid within the juice would coexist But if it if it did I think that that would be a fine fine invention If you want your kids to turn into where boys themselves

And I also think that were we to give these small boxes to the little ones, the tikes? You know, this might be nurturing for them. So you're okay with the juice box. And lizard people! Lizard people! Sure. We don't tell you about people or lizards. Like dragonborn or like... They have definitely a type of lizard person.

Yeah, it's gotta be hard to be a conspiracy theorist in a magical world because like, most of the things are probably true. Well, the lizard people are true. I think, what? Is that something that you and Nuttet agree on? We did, there are a couple things we agree on. Obviously the lizard people are true.

Whether the lizard people are trying to legalize halberds in this country, and whether the attack on Farthington was a what we call a false flag operation by the lizard people. That is an area of discrimination. What is the false flag operation on thin? Well this would be where they rode in with banners and sigils high, but in fact those banners and sigils should have been low or it has messed. So the height of the flag would be, yeah, that would be what we call a false flag. That's exactly cheating. And the other weird way to cheat.

Yeah, yeah, because you come, you come in low. It's also a weird thing to be upset about. It's like, you know that historical thing that happened? Well, don't get me started on the height of those sigils. They were not at the proper height that those sigils could be. Even on my world, people get really upset about very specific things involving flags. That's odd. My world is a weird, my world has its issues too. So people are upset with each other. If you fly the sigil and flag high, it unites everyone or no.

I would think that would be the most uniting thing. It can be, but what if a song that rouse passions are played in association with those sigils? You know what, it's the kind of thing where people feel very passionately about it and then a lot of people don't feel very passionately about it Can I can I ask you when you're you know when you see a single and there's that browsing music do people still call you are Ne or do they just call you are like is it appropriate while the signals you know

Waving the air and the oh they want to they want to take a knee out of my name. Yeah. I don't know You know sometimes people call you are an older Arnie. I don't know if it's appropriate to shorten it Oh, so would they take the knee in my experience not that many people take the knee out of my name, but I'm personally fine with it That's actually good advice that is that sounds take a cent or out of the need there. That's a Terrified. Yeah, that was great advice. Wait a minute. This is Yusudor. This is Chant, and we're getting advice from Nullitz. Wait a minute. He showed up again?

Yes. And what did he say? He told us a very effective method of killing a centaur. I gotta say, at first he seems crazy. But the more I listen to Nullitz, the more I'm like, some of this is stuff I can use in my life. There are compelling things. Like I said, the lizard people that we agree on,

I've never tried them. I'm a scholar, I'm a man of the mind. I don't really understand how to kill a centaur. It's another thing. You know songs where they list names of towns. We both like them. Really? That's a strange one.

Are some of your favorite songs that list the names of towns? There's a L-U-T-E in F-O-O-N, also spelling songs. Oh, yeah. So that's a combination. Yeah. Where it's a spelling song, and they go through the towns that they've been in, that's pretty good. When they're like a vinegar band, weaselford,

Governington, we were looting. That's a good song. Oh, right. That's a great song. It's a very good song. It's very good. That's, that's right song! That's a very good song. That's crazy. There is common ground for all of us, even those of us who believe wildly different things. There are ways for us to have conversations and not be so

vehement in our emotional states. We must remember that we are joined here. You literally are one person with two personalities. Yeah, well, maybe three, because he's a wear-bore. This isn't the thing that I don't understand. I'm I a wear-bore, or is he the, if he's a wear-bore shouldn't he sometimes change the only two? Yes, they're another personality.

Because he's so boring. Under him, what's the underwear-bore? If you were to bore into, you know, wear-bore, we'll be behind that. It depends where you bore, his heart, his head. Yeah, so he went through a magistrate and the magistrate revealed that it was perhaps suggested that he was putting on an act as this

borish-bore character and he, you know, argued to try to get a possession of his tiny little wear-boards It didn't go well, but it was a little bit embarrassing for him Although the people the little wear-boards inside you as well. I think they're out there What I think I think he has a certain as you imagine your children know what he does is he has a certain animal magnetism in a way I don't have and he's very good with the Female wear ladies and Sometimes I rely on if you have relationships Yeah, with other people do sometimes then you're later like that wasn't me

That was the wear bar inside of I felt are not my children. Well, it is not my beautiful house in all those cases I feel as if it were a different person. Sure. Before I knew it was myself, it was me the whole time. And, you know, call that, what was that word you were using for? Oh, psychoanalyzing? Yeah, call that psychoanalyze-ish.

Yeah. Call that what you will. I call it the whereborn son. Yeah, someday it might take over and there might be a bore supremacy. Hmm, well it might be more like a bore ultimatum. Nothing, there's probably another one. What would that be? What would that be?

The bore are a cross-dick. Well, Pulse-Aver, I feel like we barely just scratched the surface, but... Really? Just, we've just borrally scratched the surface. I just just morally scratched the surface. I scratched my surface day away. Okay, okay, Nuttitz. You know, maybe sometime, maybe next time, we'll have you on.

What time? Oh. In the time. No. Either nine or noon. Oh, you know what, Nuttitz? I would love to have you on, but it will be at 10. So, I'll see you never.

Never. It's ironic that you don't believe in 11 Nuttitz because you're always kind of at an 11. I have an email here. Oh yeah, this is from Mia Bender. You can always email me at chunch with 60s at jmail.com. This says book club suggestion. Hi, Arnie Chon, you said or any guests. Oh, they must have known. I have an idea for the next book you guys could read in your book club. Are we still gonna do the book club? We could do another book. I enjoyed I know you didn't love the great Gatsby did you enjoy having a book club?

Yeah, it was fun just getting together in Gabin though. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I think the Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone would be a fun and easy Read for the book club. It's a children's book on earth, but it doesn't involve a lot of magic. They write books for children on earth. Oh, yeah I books for children. Why waste time writing a book for children when they're going to die? If I could suggest I've written a book between a Mossadis and me, that is the name of the book, and it is more a journey of self and exploration, where we question the received wisdom of a Mossadis and Spray. I'll just throw that out there. Yeah. So where it's you and your father,

like question his own wisdom? I question his wisdom. He didn't have anything to do with the book, although it's dedicated to him. Oh, okay. Not in the dedication, literally. The dedication, literally, is to nettles, because his listeners really broke sales.

Oh, great wait, Arnie You said do we have daddy issues is that is that the same thing as poppy problems? Probably poppy problems. Yeah, cuz I have poppy problems. Yeah on earth We have this thing where you really are angry at poppy Montgomery Coffee problems. Who is poppy Montgomery? I don't know. I might have her on that name There's a famous person named poppy something right if you're gonna Make up a name for a poppy make it like John or something or Van Winkle Chunky you have poppy problems. Yeah, my dad's a ghost. Yeah, right. That's a hunger. Yeah I never I barely see him and when I do he just is asking about food or wants to eat

They literally barely sees it. Yeah, just when you do like he's barely sees it. Yeah, just when he do, he's like, he's sort of, that's our only percent. Yeah. Yeah. And he's never, I know with me, he's just never there. Yeah, he's, I feel like he's always ghosting me. He's never really present. No, he's never present. Yeah. He's never corporeal. When he's there, he's not there. Yeah. Of course, homosidist was able to, you know, separate himself before five different places. So again, for me, more and less being nice. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, Dad, can all of you be here? Can I have all of you here only three of you came to my mitten's game? Yeah, and he would say yes, but then I would know there were a couple other amosti

Oh You could tell so on the book between amostitis Yeah, well, so thank you for being on today, but I must tell you one last thing Yeah, are you aware that the only physical difference I see between you and Nuttitz is that Nuttitz wears a really nice watch? I am not aware. Broom!

Broom! See, there it is. And it disappears. Brad and Gussrist. Hmm. Welcome back. No more imagining. Just think of me as the teacher that replaces Robin Williams at the end of Dead Poets Society. Usurral the Wizard was played by Mat Young.

Jean Tthe Talking Badger was played by Adel Rafaie. Pulse Saffer the Unassuming and Nuttuts the Weirbor living insideing Badger was played by Adel Ruffyre, Pulsifer the unassuming, and nuttuts the wear-bore living inside of him were both played by special guest Mike Pesca. Mike hosts the Slate Podcast The Gist, a daily podcast covering news and culture. Gosh, that sounds relevant and popular. Well, look who's the kid staring out the window at the baseball game from his four-poster sick bed. Drift Fang the Necromancer was played by, oh wait, Drift Fang wasn't in this episode. And let's take a moment to enjoy the tiny kindnesses that life sometimes throws your way.

Hello from the Magic Taven is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Ryan to Georgie and Evan Jacoba. This episode edited by Chris Rathchin. Hey, hey, do you need any help finishing up the credits? Alright, robot Arnie, let's try out the new protocols and cycle through a few accents. Okay, here we go. Good and good and talk. I am German, I am speaking in English, I do not know why. Talk to my gutter. My gutter.

Also, I am Russian, I speak Russian accent. I think not my best work I have to confess. Confess, confess. Yeah, I'm gonna file all of those under international culture as filtered through Chicago improv. Yep, yep, yep. That's fair. I gotta figure out how to fix Craig. Anyway, the Hello from the Magic Tavern theme song is by Andy Poland, and the Magic Tavern logo is by Allard LeBon. Just a quick reminder that we're doing a live show in Washington DC on November 14th. Our special guests include David Plott from the

Slate Political Cap Fest and Storm Dekestan, so half of the musical duo Paul and Storm. So if you're hoping for the return of Foon's greatest musicians Nimby and Grundel, your wish is 50% granted. You can get information about tickets by going to hellofrommaget tavern.com and clicking on the live's tab. And if you don't live anywhere near Washington, DC, but think you know people who would be interested in the show, let them know about it. I think the show is already selling really well, but you know the more tickets we sell, the more likely we're going to be able to do more live shows in the future. Hello from the Magic Tavern as part of the Ear Wolf Network, and as always, thank you to the Chicago

Podcast Co-op. Thanks for listening! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go