Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 38 - Treasure Chest (w/ Travis McElroy)

Episode Date: December 4, 2017

This large treasure chest has just been sitting near our table for years. Let’s open it.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungChest Trünkborn: Travis McElroyAssorted Other Characters: Paul SabourinMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Garrett SchultzTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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There are no other worlds. And if there were a believe me, they're not going to be first contacting you anytime soon. I mean, sort it out. Okay Craig, I still haven't fixed that glitch that makes you think you're a steamboat captain, but do you want to hop on some pre-show announcement action? Well, we only got a few minutes here before we had out to Charleston, but first I wanted to remind you that there's a special interactive episode of Follow From The Magic Tavern on announcement action. Back to you an adventure for the Amazon Echo. Back to you, Mr. Hawthorn. Thanks, Craig. I'm sure based on that reading, our sponsors are Scrooge McDucking it through

their piles of gold. And now, without further delay, enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the Magic Land of Foon. I'm your host Aranny Camp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know about two and three quarters years ago. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burr in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from that dimensional rift where I upload a podcast. I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur, which is filled

with secrets and secret objects and weapons that you know what I am trying to find with the help of you, dear listener, but also with the help of my co-host, Yusador The Wizard. I am Yusador, Wizard of the Twelfth Realm of Efeasius, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights, Devour of Chaos, Champion of the Great Holes of light and shadow, manipulator of magical delights, devourer of chaos, champion of the great halls of Trakis, the elves noeus fiend Yolk, the dwarves noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noeus noe such pure good, such concentrated levels of pure kindness that if I were to speak them aloud, no one would be mad at each other anymore.

At all? No? You could solve world madness? Wait, that didn't sound as weird, different than I meant. Different things mean different things, but it's true. Why don't you just say those names? Why is that a secret name? Because the challenge.

The MTV show? What? Never mind. I'm also joined by my other co-host, Chump the Leader of the Guards. Oh yeah, baby. Little squish in it. Little squish in.

Sorry, just run. I just ran right into the tavern. I tried to be a total room raider. A room raider? Yeah. Is that all right? Yeah, sure. Maybe a bit of a fifth wheel. Fifth wheel? And youider? Yeah. Is that all right? Yeah, sure.

Maybe a bit of a fifth wheel. Fifth wheel? And you know what? I heard you're in trail. Yes. And I'm a little mad at you. You said that we are discovering all these secret weapons and items within the tavern.

And I found something on your fucking computer, Bob, a secret that you've been hiding from me. Hey, do not look in all of the folders on my computer. Well, one later, let's talk about your search history. Whatever that is, too. I found a button that automatically produces tuna, and you didn't think to tell me a badger about an auto-tune button. Oh, yeah.

Have you hit it? Because it's not going to get the result that you want. Well, let's see what it does. I want some tuna. Give me some tuna, automatic tuna. I guess that was the result that you want. John, how are things going with the guards? You're in charge of the guards.

Good, yeah, I'm a little bit of a big man on campus and making my authority known and things were going pretty well. And I think now that we defeated the Dark Lord, Astric, we can now focus on other things in our life. So I am going back out there, putting myself back out on the market, trying to maybe settle down. This is a little bit of a weird question, as is going to bother me if I don't address

it right now. When you have an asterisk, is that one where we explain that asterisk at the very end of the episode or should we like footnote it right now? Well I feel like listeners know we didn't really defeat the Dark Lord. Well, you know what? It's sort of a stalemate, it's sort of a... Sure, he left Hogs face, and he left us in charge of all his minions here, and technically we're doing what he wants, but like, we're still actively trying to defeat him.

He would like to believe we are doing as he wishes. It just so happens that he happened to want the same things right now. For I must defeat the void. I show such high and low until I find everything that I need to overcome that great evil, and then a second great evil beyond that of the Dark Lord himself shall be vanquished in turn. And when are we going to fight the Groogan? What? The Groogan.

Who's the Groogan? Oh yeah. People in town keep talking about how everything is going to be destroyed by the Groogan. We're not here for the Groogan? No! Yusador, I know about one of our archanimists. This is that you don't know about? Trust us, the Groogan is bad news. Oh boy.

Yusador, careful! We had to do something about the Groogan! I must defeat this Groogan. I shall learn everything that there is to know about the Groogan. I shall search high and low for information, and then once I find out all of his terrible or her terrible secrets or it I don't what what what what you or you've got to learn more about the Groogan I heard I've got to go yeah I should keep him busy for a while like he has a bit of a complex I think so anything here's about he has to conquer so

chunk is it difficult being in charge of the guards when you're so small and adorable like you're their boss, but you're just like a little banjo Yeah, sometimes people don't take me seriously Tobes and grimoires here. I shall find all I need to know about this group. It's what a grimoire looks like Is that your new guards uniform? Mm-hmm the little short shorts and the mid-rift bearing yeah just change it up just trying something new get wet is that a fun new catchphrase get wet seems like it be hard to raid rooms and that kind of outfit listen if you turn off the lights you're not gonna like what you see there's gonna be stains all over the place get wet hold on hold on let me

press this let me press let me try out my new catchphrase with this auto tuna. Down. Get wet. Oh, your baby. Oh, already try something with auto tuna. Hey guys, I'm a guy who likes to be an attunem. It made me sound amazing. Oh my god. You should have tried something with it. But I gave it so much to work with originally. I am musical, a wizard of the twelfth and my fisius,

massive light and shadow, devaluer of k.I.S champion of the great halls of Tragas, those know me as fying, Gaelic, there's no, what am I saying? Oh, yeah, too much auto-tuna. That was confusing me. Guys, look, we gotta focus up, alright? I wouldn't spend some time this week looking around the tavern, finding weapons, trying to figure out the stuff that we can use to defeat the Dark Lord, the Void, the Groogan.

Now for many years, I have been planning to open that chest right there. But that big treasure chest? Yeah, the one right next to the table that we've never opened. You know what? Every once in a while, I'm like, I wonder what's in there. Try your chest, it's sitting right next to this very table. I thought the same thing, where I'm like, is this a community chest? Like, is this for anyone to open? Like, you know, like sometimes somebody will bring in like,

cake and you're like, is this everyone's cake? Yeah. There's not like a post it, no one wrote their name on it. A lot. On my world, if you don't want someone. What's the difference when you say on my world and in my world? Because sometimes you say in my world and sometimes you say on my world and to my question first okay look how about this we already asked this one is one so at the end of the show I'll explain

on my world in my world and what's the high world give me the numbers and you take the yesterday oh you're right I'm good with numbers and you take one okay super guys people who are really trying to like classify this episode. This will be really easy Let's focus up. Yeah, all right. Yeah, let's open the trailer chest Well, I'd love to I always mean to open it when I come and his it's a million minute or But I get distracted because I perhaps I order some rooster's feet or some oh Some rooster's feet for the table, and uh, and a pile of uh, uh, grand bear.

Oh, what's this? A pile of grand bear? What's grand bear? Oh, it's a delicious jelly, that they just find in the ocean. Oh, I could talk about this all day. Where are we gonna do something? What are we doing?

We're gonna open the chest. That's right. All hands on... Well, oh, sorry, man. What? Yeah, I just wanted to stop you right there, didn't want y'all the touchery. Uh, I, sorry, man. Whoa. Yeah, I just wanted to stop you right there. Didn't want you all the touch of me.

I am incredibly sticky. So look. Hey, yeah, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt. That's a talking chest. Yeah, just a big fan of the show. Didn't mean to interrupt. Please feel free to go right back to doing your show

and talk about the thing. I'll just be here listening. Enjoying? You've been listening to our show. You said you were a fan? Yeah, big fan. I'm here every week. Man'll just be here listening. Enjoyin'? You've been listening to our show, you said you were a fan? Yeah, big fan. I'm here every week, man, just we've captured the show and listening and enjoying and tried not to bother y'all,

so, uh, now that I think about it, that chest has been there every week since the beginning, like he's probably been here for more episodes than Yusidor or Chund has, or maybe even me. I think I think I've been here the whole time. I mean, you died. Oh, that's right. I remember that. Yeah, I was there.

Oh, that's so great. Well, what do we call you? Like, you can call me chest, trunk born. Chest, trunk born, trunk born. Okay. It's got an omelet over the you. An omelet? An omelet?

Yeah, it's got two like egg shapes. Oh, yeah. Over the you. It's like an ooh. The way to remember it would be like, June can the trunk? Yeah, okay. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, thank you thank you and you know, I'm a mimic. You know You have that on earth do you have mimics on us? Do you have mimics in earth on my world?

We do mirror Saurvino is fighting a mimic. She's a mirror that makes that Trash. Yeah, it's like mimic you copy the image. I mean that tracks mirror So you know so wait, so you're not a treasure chest cuz I gotta say I mean I am a treasure chest, but I'm not a treasure You know what I mean? So like right now just like chunk is a badger, but he's not a badger. Oh, yeah But you know what he really does yeah, but he's a shapeshifter. Yeah, looks like a bad who is currently a badger, but he is not a Badger, you see Arnold on all world a badger but he is not a badger. You see Arnold on all worlds. Yeah.

Mimics who can take all sorts of fantastical shapes and off they do hide themselves in dungeons as something that you desperately want to get to something you wish to open like a treasure chest or an ornate box or a crate. A crate. With something you want desperately want to open and as soon as you get close to it. You're a row? You're stuck to it. And they devour you.

A shiferoob? A shiferoob. Just a cabinet. Maybe like a vanity, medicine cabinet. Oh man, if I were in a dungeon and I came across a medicine cabinet, I could not resist opening it. I am.

Don't just like a box. just like a box, you know? Just like a box. Just a box. Just a box. A barrel, maybe like a box shaped barrel. The square with a better, really, it's like round is hard, you know? But like corners are easy.

There's a lot less like figuring. I would think it would be the other way around. I would think not having corners would be easier You just wasn't one well cuz with corners you know where to stop, you know It's like the end go that way right with like a circle is like well, oh, I'm going around again You know what I mean is like you just maybe you just spiral and yeah yourself over and over again I was a cinnamon bun once go and you have that here details I was a cinnamon bun once and you have that here detail

Well, I just kept going you know what I mean and I spiraled out of control But I was do-litches. Oh boy. I got to tell you once I spiraled out of control and did involve a cinnamon bun That doesn't have the fan of the Jill that does not surprise you know you know That's very interesting because cinnamon buns are naturally sticky so you would be less surprised But when you touch these treasure chests that mimics take the shape of you get stuck to them and they devour you. Oh, yeah. So that's why you're sticky. I just thought it was just a weird secret. No, and I shouldn't do this.

No, and let me tell you, it is why I was originally here to eat you Arnie. Oh me? Yeah, I saw you kind of stublin through Hogs face and I was like, oh, easy Mark, you know, and then I came in here, disguised myself and I thought, oh as soon as he opens me, I'm gonna go. And I remember my first week here, I was like treasure chest, I have gotta open that, I'm definitely gonna get around to that.

I'm gonna make a promise to myself and the listeners, I'm gonna open the treasure chest. Here, I'll show you how it works. Rubat, Rubat, come over here, Rubat. Oh yeah, this is fun. Rubat, Rubat, come over here. Rubat. Oh, yeah. I don't yeah, this is fun. Rubat Here, we want you to have this treasure chest. Are you what? Watch him do it. He's a fucking Rub I think guys this is very generous of you. Yeah, Rubat. It's our gift to you Thank you. Also, I'll serve brother Cuber. He's okay. He has his ups and downs

So just is there a key or do I just open it up well thank you so much guys how did you even know was my birthday oh super sweet of you well let's go ahead and see what you all got me in this chest here yeah open it yeah yeah Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, eating just fell out of your mouth. It didn't necessarily seem important. No, I don't need the It's not for food. I'm a monster But so yeah, my original intention was I was going to eat Arnie and then y'all started doing the show and I was like Oh no hold on wait, let's see with this goes maybe next week. I'll eat him and Then you just kept doing the show and eventually I was just you know, so it's sort of a dread pirate Robert situation Oh, what dread pirate Roberts? Yeah, what is the dread pirate Robert?

So there's this pirate who's just like this. He's not very good pirate. He's kind of dreadful Yeah, his name is Robert and he's always just That actually seems pretty straightforward now. Yeah, yeah, he's a dreadful pirate name Robert. I don't know why I was his personal Life here his personality traits are couched within. You get it. Yeah, so come on, buttercup, keep up. So week after week you came here, or you were here, I was here, planning to eat Arnie, and I'll be honest with you, Chest,

I had much of the same instinct at first. Yeah, right? Look at him. That's a little bit easy. Well, you were gonna eat me? Well, I thought about it in the early weeks. I, every week when we went by, I was like, well, maybe next week,

I'll devour Arnie. Yeah. But I decided not to in the long run. every week when we're by, I was like, well, maybe next week, how do we allow our army? Yeah. But I decided not to in the long run. I mean, take it as a compliment. Let me remind you, I do not need to eat. So if I choose to eat you, it's kind of like, you know, like a date. I'm gonna say, Chest, I'm gonna say that, you know,

I just happen to not be into being eaten alive. But I still take it, I'm still flattered. Thank you very much. As it is intended. Can I ask a question, I'm still flattered. Thank you very much. As it is intended. Can I ask a question? Because I've just been saying, I didn't want to interrupt. Please, please. Let's go through all the questions you've had over 100

some episodes. Thank you very much. Well, OK. So on the episode, I believe it was titled a short one, you said off mic, and I was here. So I heard that you wanted to play with Arnie. So this is my question. If you slept with a human, would you look like that human, or would you look like chunt

but human, second question, how many but holes would that human have? Good questions. Well, I think Normley Arnie only has one but hole, right? So I would probably have one but hole. I'll answer two first. Good questions. Ah, well, I think Normley Arnie only has one butthole, right? So I would probably have one butthole, I'll answer two first. Thank you. That was a more pressing question if I'm being honest. But I did make a wish upon the bones of a great blue tiger that I always have two buttholes. Yeah. So I think I would still have two. And to answer question number one, if I can may double back. Please, Double back. Sorry? Just a double butthole. Never mind.

You look real smud. What's going on? Double back. Two butthole. Never mind. Worth it. It's not that. I don't know that it's there.

Just as a fan, I also, let me know, it's come from a place of love. I will critique. No, I love it so much. I want it to be the best. So wait a second. I have to say, though, Chess. Wait, I want the answer to my question.

You'll get it, but you've been here for almost 200 episodes. I know, and this is the one bit of wordplay that you chose to critique. Well, I didn't want to interrupt, y'all seem to have a flow going, but I do have a lengthy page notes. Oh, great. So, would you look like Arnie, or would you look like Chunt, but Human? I feel like I would definitely be Arnie, but like 5% would be like a twinklin' my eye, where you're like, that's not Arnie, that's... Or a twinklin' your second butthole. Yeah, oh absolutely.

Oh, I can't tell which one's which. Turn around. Yep. Yeah. Buttholes are nature stars. Now this made me think of something. If you have relations with a creature who only has one anus, Do you get to decide where the second one goes? If you had sex thought he could you put the second anus

like right in the middle of his forehead. Question two A, branching off of that question, do you get to decide which one's functional? Ooh. Oh man, this is the most I've ever delved into my butt hole play usually. Well, I've been listening for a while and I've wanted asked this forever.

I just wanna butt in for a second to say to a hey shut your hole go on Yeah, I don't know holy crap that would be missing if I could say it's so easy to be mean to Arnie once Yeah, it's someone about the microphones or the chairs or something You get it. It's in the ether But just you've been here all the times even when we're not doing the show And you know how most of the week everyone here like is so nice to me and mostly very complimentary. Yeah Yeah, chest it's not too late for us to eat here Mm-hmm and shit always goes to

If I stop being a fan All right, I'll look we'll talk Okay, I got another great. I got this one's for you, sir. Oh Notice in your intro you say there may be other secret names Is that just you nodding to them or you don't know? Oh, I have many names. I don't know. Oh, okay So they're there may, there may not be. Well, there certainly are some, uh-huh, some that are terrible and destructive and so powerful that if I were to utter them aloud, it would raise this entire, a million minutes or pub to the ground.

Others that would cure all of hatred and make everyone kind to one another. But the challenge Yeah, man, I get it. Yeah, you don't want to say the names and just fix everything right away Yeah, it's like you know you want to get out there because if you fix everything, what would you fix? That's right? Yeah, that is deep Arnie I guess my question for you is mm-hmm. How's it going? Thank you. I've been here so long and no one seems to care how it's going for me. It's going. Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, Arnie. Did you recognize how with me and with you, Sador, the chest had a very pointed question and with you, he said, I guess my question for you is like he was conjuring it in the moment. He doesn't really

care. Oh, no, John, I think you're really curious. You know, we can get back to Arnie's answer here. I have more questions. I'll give it a two foot note. Yeah, we'll come back to it at risk. And so here's my question. You should do it blue. Is that forever or could you change that at some point? Could you like say like, you know what?

The new color is like purple and I'm used to or the purple now. I suppose I could through many machinations and magical spells. I could change my stealth into a purple wizard, but then I would have a new set of powers and I would not be drawing my strength from light and shadow any longer. Oh, we should do that. Can I just say you asking if I could turn it to Arnie and reposition my buttholes, you asking if he used to do it or could be another color and he'd develop new powers like where were

you 85 episodes ago where we had- I was sitting right here! I was literally- Yeah, that would have been such great plot progress. I didn't want to interrupt. There are several times when I thought you were laughing. I thought that the trunk was laughing in the corner and I thought I was just drunk.

Well, little karma, little karma. You know, I usually just listen back to the episodes on my laptop, but I should put in some headphones or something. I feel like if I listen very closely to every episode, I probably just hear giggling. Yeah, man, that's the thing is, I think anybody who hasn't heard giggling just hasn't been listening closely enough

because I have been present at every episode. And I think if you listen back through, I'm like, I mean, if I think I'm using this term correctly, re-download, re, read download every episode, you'll hear me in the background. If you're a real fan, or if that doesn't work, then delete and read download. Yeah, because you might have just gotten a bad download at that point.

So you just want to read download that, and then make sure you check out them sponsors. That's my favorite part of every episode. You guys talk about them sponsors. They sound real nice. And like, like you should support them, especially Blue Apron. Blue Apron sounds amazing. I wish I could try it.

Food comes in a box. Yes, please, you know what I mean? Well, you could do an ad for them and it would be something along the lines of like, I don't have to eat, but with Blue Apron, I want to. I'm managing a box that rather than eating you, you ate out of it, right? Like, can you imagine such thing?

Hi, I'm Chess Trunkborn, I support and blew Aprin. Chess, I've got to say, and I know it might be just because you sat here next to this very table all for all of these episodes. You've just got great podcasting instincts because we are really at like the sponsor part of the show and I feel like you just get it and I feel like you're doing everything right unless possibly we're being sponsored by Hello Fresh. Oh, we mean it's certainly a possibility.

I'm also a big fan. Listen, if they support my favorite podcast, I support them. You know what I mean? And they don't pay me on this show. So I can support them, you know what I mean? And they don't pay me on this show. So I can support them at will. But why would you need to be paid? You're like full of gold pieces, right? What's the name?

No, I'm not a chess. I just look like a chess, but I'm not a chess, you know what I mean? OK, well, you know what? Let's take a quick break and let's hear from whoever it is, maybe Hello, Brush, maybe not. And when we come back, I really want to learn more about you, Chess. Let's really look at this Chess.

We'll be right back. Suck, Fancy! Get with it. So, Chess, I just wanna know, like, I think, I'm laying, am I the guest? You're the guest now! I'm a Chess guest! You're a chess guest.

Let's do this. I'm so honored. Yeah. Ooh. Lobby down. So if you're not a treasure chest, do you have like a base shape? Like, well, okay.

I am a treasure chest. I'm just not a treasure chest, you know what I mean? Oh. My base shape is kind of an amorphous blob. Mine too. Oh, friends, I do spend most of my time in one form or another. It's really hard to like get anything done as an amorphous blob. Sure.

It's really hard to like register for anything or get any kind of respect or like meet people or eat or breathe or sleep. So like I spend a lot of time with Chess, you know, and I like it. Sturdy, made of like a rich mahogany wood. I got this sweet metal banding. You know, Chess, I gotta say, I find you to life. I keep getting distracted.

It's just so adorable to watch your lid kind of just flap up and down while you talk. Hey, thank you. You know, it's a skill, not every mimic is able to master talking in this form because you do, you need a lot out of lid control. But I went to speech therapist. So, yeah, so now I am where I am.

Thank to Dr. Box. Dr. Box. Dr. Box. Wouldn't have been here without them. So thanks to Dr. Box. Doc Box. Doc Box. Wouldn't have been here without them. Yeah. So thanks, Doc Box. Do you mind? I don't know if it's a painful subject. Like what were some of the like exercises that you had to do to? A lot of focus on like the teeth, the tip, the tongue, the edge of the lid. You know a lot of that. Mostly oil in the hinges honestly. It was a lot of like making show you as well oiled And that you didn't have any like people stuck between your teeth or anything like that because that didn't get in the way

And you know also if you're not careful people will throw gold into your mouth and like armoring stuff So that can really affect you know your tamber. Hopefully this isn't a ghost question But the accent are you from a certain Yeah, you know, your tamber. Hopefully this isn't a ghost question, but the accent, are you from a certain... Yeah, you know, over to the west, you know where the two legs of the river meet. I'm from West Virginia. What's this? Where is this?

It's where the two legs of the river meet? West Virginia? Well, there's vagina and then there's West Virginia. West Virginia. And don't make a joke about an East Virginia, because that's not a thing. And it's two completely different places. Uh-huh. Like, the China is known for like stellar pork. Correct.

Do you have that on the North? We've got porky, yeah. And West Regina is known for deep pits. You can go into West Regina and find all kinds of things in there, sparkly things, or like things you can burn. Can I be killed by fire? Yeah, you just got to go deep into West Regina. Go find stuff. Yeah. But really take your time there. You know, look around and really experience West Regina because a lot of people that just go and they're just like in and out, you know what I mean?

Sure. But I think that to really experience West Regina, you got to really like spend some time there, you know? And like recon order the rim, you know, around like the deep pistol stuff. Yeah, that's the thing, because you said you got to go deep into West Regina, but I think it's also good to just explore the borders.

Oh, no, absolutely. Absolutely. My favorite thing about it is there's a hill right of the north of West Regina, just really spent some time on there, camp on there. Is that where the clip forest is? Yeah, it is. You really got a focus on there, especially during the winter. Is it really there?

I usually go to clip forest and I'll just like draw the alphabet with my feet or something. Well that's good, because then you can teach like woodland animals the alphabet while you're there and say like gather around me creatures. And then use the alphabet there on the clip force. You said, what? You said, what's going on? Oh, I'm doing some research here about the... The Grygian?

The Grygian. You said, or did you forget one of our arch and msi no no i i've learned all about him i don't know how to have so far going through these books while you've been uh... talking about uh... mystical and i doubt that you've ever been to and i uh... i'm sorry chest he gets i think he is a little nervous when we start talking about westward china no i know listen man it can be intimidating just to find your way there so yeah he's like i'm just gonna go to my books instead. Yeah. I've been everywhere in

food. Alright, now, let's see, the, the, the, the Groogan. I, I, he cannot be killed by a sword. He cannot be killed by fire. He cannot be killed by ice. He has three blood red eyes. He can be cast into another dimension. Oh. You should just have a moment to talk. Oh, sure? OK. Excuse us for a moment, please. Oh, would you like us? Chantanay to leave?

No, I want to talk to you and Chantanay. Sorry, I'm so mean you said. Oh, good. Could you excuse us for a moment? I'm so sorry. It's tough because you don't have hands, so it's all right. Yeah, right. OK, I'll be.

You can't just eat. I'll be right back. It's me. Griggins are not real, right? I don't think so. It's so hard, is not real, right? I don't think so. It's so hard, like I just made it up, but. I thought to just try something new and support what you said.

Yeah. Okay, because as a fan of the show, I've listened to every single, I've never heard anything about Greg before. Yeah, but I just want to make sure, because like you found something in the book. Okay, I just want to, yeah, come on back. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually before he comes back, I'm sorry, go back away. You said, I just, can I just say, you know, when I said, like I thought I'd try something new and support you, I didn't mean to be a dick. He's sort of, he's sort of. Can I just say, you know, when I said, like I thought I'd try something new and support you, I didn't mean to be a dick. It's just like, the chest is saying, when you sit here, there's something about this table,

about this room, it just makes it so eat, like let me, I see Cuber, Cuber, Cuber, Cuber. You are, you're up. Hey, oh, one, I don't know where your brother's at too. Do you wanna say something, our friend Arnie here? How you doing? You look of stupid. Damn.

Yeah. See? I don't know where that's coming from, but it just sort of came out of me. And by the way, why is this box talking? Hey man, don't worry about that. I like your accent. You from West Virginia? I've been there for so long.

Yeah, I know my way around West Virginia. You from? I'm from, yeah. I'm from the hills up north Well sure what you leave in here. I got secret you won't whisper me So anyways yeah I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry want you to feel too bad about it. Yeah, this chest has heard everything. Yeah, kind of the eyes and ears of this place. And I was like, he and his brother, they were stealing from the Vermilion Manator. Why? From the Vermilion Manator. Yeah. I'm in charge of this place.

But you could run a little tighter ship. I mean, I don't want to. Listen, I know I'm just a chest. Yeah. Well, you can maybe crack down on like embezzling and be able to steal another till, that kind of thing. You're right. Yeah, we only recently killed the and be able to steal another till, that kind of thing. You're right.

Yeah, we only recently killed the guy who was, you know, pure evil and spitting cats out of his mouth. It took y'all a real long time to get to, let's kill him. Yeah, that's true. That seems like kind of day one. Well, I was hoping he would have some kind of redeeming value, you know. Other than like his musical theater prowess. He was a good singer.

Yeah, he was a good singer. It's true. I get to appreciate that. I can't carry a tune in the box, you know what than like his musical theater prowess he was a good singer yeah he was a good singer I get to appreciate that I can't carry a tune in a box you know what I mean so like I really let's Well, let's try some automatic tuna. Oh, all right that might help you sound better if you're self-conscious about your voice I'm a box. It's so great to be here. Thank you for having me Arnie and Shunx That was great. Yeah, let's turn on the auto-tuna. Hello, I'm a box. It is so great to be here with you, I'm a Shunx. Thank you so much.

How was that man? Was that good? Yeah, I think. Yeah. Sounded kind of robotic. I'm a sucedor. No, let's bring him back. Use, slippery. Lucy UC.

Guest Wayne-yus. There may be other names that'll bring him to the table. Dick, Dick, Fizz. What was it, Dick, Fizz? Dick, F fish close it this is this sorry sometimes how to hit because the guest sits on top of me yeah I've done it you ever hear echoing inside of yourself no I'm not all right I'm not I am a chance is that clear yes that's clear what the fuck look in my defense I still think you're a badger I I am back. Oh, hey, Ezek. I've decided to join you again. Thanks for coming back, ominous McIntyre.

How did you know that name? I just took a set in the dark. That is the name you're knowing amongst the mimics. So ominous McIntyre? Yeah, and so I'm amazed you said it first. Is that why you had me leave? So you were telling him? Yeah, I had to tell him.

Oh. I was bragging about all the stories about you and the mimics and how some people believe that the mimics began with a powerful spell at UCAS. But it is a legend. But I must say it is only partially true for I to take a Morphus blob and in my experimentations with potions and magics.

I took a gel and made it into a mimic. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Here's my question. Yes. Then why didn't you give us chesticles? Oh. Do you want some?

That is a fair answer. Yes, please. Okay. Give them some trunk nuts. Wait, are you gonna put it at the bottom of the chest? Are you gonna put it by the lock? Are you gonna put it in the back? Where do you put chesticles?

There's a good question. Wait, and you know what? I'm gonna leave it up to the mask you've had to side. You know, because that's the thing is, not who here gets to choose where the testicles are. Maybe my butthole, but not testicles. Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. So, I'm gonna leave it up to you, the expert, as to where you wanna put my chesticles.

Not to be think about this for a moment. I think I have the answer. To her off, Grand Tram, Barra, TNT, Bingbing. One on either side. You put on my head. Does this look like handles now? See if I grab it. Oh god, gentle man, gentle. I do like it there, because it's a very air dynamic.

I like the balance. You know what I mean? Because sometimes you can get a chesticle and like one of them hangs lower than the other one. You feel a little bit off balance. You know, so this is nice. I like this. The brass, which, you know, it works. You know, it's gonna say... Part of the whole motif. Yeah, it works. Now, will they remain, even if I turn into an amorphous blob? Are they gonna amorphous blob with me? Or will they just be... Don't worry

You'll take them in whatever shape you are. Oh, yeah, so I was wondering trunk like how do you change chest chest trunk born? Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm really let's just point out that he literally got nuts. This is chun't this is used or and we are Get nuts. I feel like we shut probably should have included and you should also maybe this time say like given nuts. Here we go. This is just This is just this is used to door and we're Give it nuts. I don't know. I don't listen to this show. Oh, thank God. I just listened to hello from the magic Really? Yeah, that doesn't make any sense what do you record getting nuts at this table? Yeah at this very table Oh, man. I need to tune in. Well, that's like you should all listen to my brother, my brother and me, and I listen to adventure zone. No, yes, it's a very funny show where three brothers answer advice questions.

What's this? Wait, is this chance brothers? It's chance brothers, chance brothers and him? No, I wish, I don't have any brothers. Those brothers are the, who's the me? You know, I don't know which one to switch. That's dumb. Who would name their show that's so so like confused who's the me?

That's a good question because if you go up to any three of them would they be like me? The name of the other brother and then my brother would they clarify and people listen to that yes, they do it's very popular Far more popular than this show. I don't know and I would say Well, we do a number treasure chest. Here's what I would do I would go up to each one in secret and say I Know your me. Wait, you know they're used to door. Nope. Yeah, no in the title I believe that each one in turn is me at some point. Oh, what if the listeners me And there's only two brothers and there's only two brothers this whole time

That's why their voices sounded like I assume. Oh So the third brother is a collective delusion of the entire audience. Well, I'm like you're part of the show You know I see my brother my brother and me no listen They sound alike at first, but what you listen a little bit you can tell who's well You can tell one of them just has like a husky bearded beautiful voice, you know And you know he's the favorite and the most interesting Probably the best chest. Oh, by far. Yes, but you know what's speaking of family? Chests do you have a family like what is it well to be a mimic? Thank you. It's a great question

You know the thing is it's really interesting because each mimic has one parent and one yeah, so We produce a sexually Well, I say that. Usually it takes convincing a human or similar human type creature to have sex with a chest. And then you have the other baby. And then you know, you kind of switch between it's hard. There's not a lot of mimics because it's really hard to be like a sexy chest. Yeah. Can you try? can you try right now for us? Man, I can try. Well, you promise you won't no matter what you won't like I want to keep this friends You know what I mean just friends. No, I make my promise. I'm not gonna come on your chest. Okay. Let me see what I can do

How's that? Pretty good. Everything's kind of sparkling. I just made like double the size of my chest. Oh wow. But his chesticles stayed the same size. They did. Well, because everybody likes streamlined chesticles. Sure.

The smooth, the better. That's what I've heard. Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna change back, because I do not like this. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, I kind of like this. Okay, and I'm back.

Oh yeah! So what happens if a sheep shifter has sex with a mimic? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Oh, and your child would be Chessboard. Exactly. I'm thinking box. Boxed if it's a boy boxed if it's a girl. It's not a great name for a girl, but that was my mother. Oh, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. That was very rude of me. My father married after having no license. I should say, my stepmother really raised me from when I was a tiny ring box. So I feel terrible. I did not mean to offend you.

You know what, you decide up this side up. I think box is a great name. I think trunk is a great name for a person or a weird media conglomerate. You could join the club. And get, well, so my father started a business called Trunk Club. Where he would look at someone who goes, that shirt's terrible.

And then he would rip it off their body. Oh, wow. And that was kind of where it stopped. Not a lot of people wanted to join. He never really figured out step two. And I think that that was where it kind of fell apart. And I was like, father, you have to give a, sorry, you have to get your hand just to take away.

And he said, replace it with a better shirt. Right. And you know, here's the thing. I said that a lot of times. And he just kind of turned away from me. And that was the last time I talked to my father. Oh. It was yesterday.

Oh, oh, oh. I mean, I just haven't seen him since yesterday. Sure. Can I come back to something? Do you want to just double back? Do you want to double back? Are you going to go back to like an asterisk or a black hole? No, nothing to do with but holes for once. The Grogon.

Oh, yeah? He can't be killed with a sword or by fire or by ice. But he can be cast into another dimension where all his molecules will be separated and spread throughout that parallel dimension. Okay. should I summon him here and kill him now? Oh, um, okay, I'll do it. Hold on, do you have the power to send other things in the other dimension? Wait! Why didn't you mention that before? Oh, hey, how's it going? Groogan! What? You look at me with your three fiery eyes, mine swan enemy.

Dude, I was sleeping. And I shall cast thee into the dimension where molecules are torn and sit hurling through the universe. Chimia! Hey, Grootter, for all. Hey, how's the girl with the other way? How's it going? What?

What is her? What were you sitting doing? Today I... Yeah. To see my... God! What the hell is going on, man? What the hell is going on? What the hell is going on? Terae, yeah. Terae, yeah. Terae, yeah. Dude, I got an Iculated against that casting, like, eons ago.

This is why vaccinations are so important. Yeah, I've got to look at my book. I heard they cause all kinds of problems. Well, that's the thing is, like, as far as I'm concerned, you know, just a little bit of vaccination goes in the long light. But you get a little bit of that spell, right? If you vaccinate, you get a little bit of that spell.

You get a dead part of the spell, right? No, like one word. Well, I mean, you say that, but the spell is dead. It don't work like that. No, you might have a little swelling. You guys on Famous Disney, but have like a jelly pile or some chicken feet or something. Oh, I'm just, it was such a night last night.

Here's some Graham Bear. Okay. Oh, how about that? It turns out you can cast him into another dimension or he can be killed by a monster trap. Chest you can kill the Groogan for us. You're gonna kill him with a trap now. With a monster trap a monster trap. It was a monster trap, but I've changed my ways now. Chest was best man. I'm wedding. Yeah, Chess was best man, I'm wetting. Yeah, it's my roommate, man. I'm not gonna... We go back to university.

Yeah. How's that theater? How's that theater degree working out for you, by the way? Not great. No. No, man. Well, I got to do something with you. You know, at first I did work.

I did a lot of costume work. Mostly as a wardrobe, but, you know, it hasn't really panned out since in this economy Have you considered being a prop? I'm a living being Arnie, what are you doing? You know you're not from around here, right you do I'm not I'm sorry I'm so uncool. Hey could you send Greg's home? It's his night to do dishes I would like to defeat one of our arch enemies.

Sometime. Have you thought about that? I'll tell you what, tell you what. Say a little ridiculous spell whatever at me, and I'll just walk out the front door and we'll pretend that you got me, okay? B. You put a little pop out. By the way, I just found out in this table,

there's this two handed ax, it's got some jewels and crap on it. I don't know, it looks kind of important. I think you guys want it? Oh, yes, yeah. No, not you don't get it. How about you,. It looks kind of important. I think you guys want it. Oh, yes Yeah, no, not you don't get it. How about you badger you look good. Oh, yeah. Thank you. You all right yo chest I'll see you at the meeting. Yeah, man. All right one day at a time in yeah, all right See you aren't he's a two handed X to handy to if I can hold it in one hand is it too pod? How's that chance like that's a good question

Because I can hold it in one hand? Is it too pot? How's that chance like? That's a good question. Because I can hold it in one hand. Yeah, I don't know. You could use two though, and you'd get a bit of swing out of it probably. Okay, yeah. Yeah, like this little smoother than my hammer? Yeah, it looks great, it's beautiful. And how do we know that's not a tiny mimic?

Like now I'm worried that like everything's a mimic. Well, here's a good question. Is it eating chun? Oh, then it's probably cool. I can't believe that combination of words has never come up with the podcasts before. question, is it eating chun? Oh. Then it's probably cool. I can't believe that combination of words has never come up on the podcast before. Took somebody from us, vagina.

So I'll put this ax aside and we'll wait 150 episodes and if it doesn't turn out to be a mimic, then I'll use it. Okay. Let's do that with everything in the tavern. Anything we find will wait 150? Y'all want me to tell you? 150 mimic? Oh, he's a mimic. You know what I mean?

And that guy's a mimic wait What he's probably that chairs a mimic no well? I wouldn't send it oh man Look at blowing everyone's cover well, you're my boys, you know what I mean? I'm not gonna let you sit on someone's face. Yeah, look it out. That is not a mimic that person over there That's a person okay, it's enough that chest That person over there, that's a person. Okay, it's enough. That chest...

Not a mimic. Oh, it took a while. Is there distinguishing features in terms of like a certain sheen or a certain... Just a smell. Oh, smell. Yeah. Is it something that you can pick up or... Yeah, because you'd have to get real close and you don't want to. No, that's true.

Can you describe it? Can you describe it? Is it like a sulfuric? No, it's kind of like a boxy smell, but like not right. You know, like you smell boxy, like, hmmm, something's up with that box, you know what I mean? Like maybe you left some old sweaters in there, you know? But also the sweaters, maybe they were wet when they went in there.

And also maybe like there's some mice living in the sweaters. Are the mice wet? The mice are wet, but not in a normal way. They're wet in a weird way, where they just like stay wet forever. And you're like, shouldn't that be drying up by now? But they just seem to get wetter and wetter over time, but the sweaters get drier.

So the mice are getting wetter and they're getting drier sweaters. That kind of thing, and you're like, where is going on? And there's like one corner of the box, just smell wise, that's like kind of mildewed, but not the whole box, but you can kind of see like a liquid stain on the box and you're like,

oh, that's weird, that looks like my grandma's face. That kind of thing, you know, so if you smell that, it might be a mimic. It smells like a dream. Yeah, 55, I would say 50, 50 shot, if it smells like a dream, you might be a mimic. Can you give us just a few, like, if you might be a mimic? Yeah, so if you find that when someone touches you,

they stick to you and you eat them. You might be a mimic. Yeah, if you came from West Virginia and that is both a source of pride and humor, you might be a mimic. It's funny because it's true. Shut up, rubs! These observations are so boxworthy.

I don't think the grugan is our enemy. Well, don't get on his bad side. You know what I mean? One night it was my night to do dishes. I did not. He pouted for weeks. Well, Chess, thank you so much for, I guess, revealing yourself. And also, thank you for never getting around to eating me. I mean, not yet. Uh, yeah. Well, you know what? I would say thank you for never getting around to eating me. Man, I mean not you.

Uh, yeah. Well, you know what? I would say thank you for having me, but I mean I've been here the whole... I am honored to be on the show. Also, a little bit now kind of disenfranchised a little bit of like, well now that I've been on it, you know, seen behind the curtain. I don't know, it's just not... Oh, sure.

Now, I thought it was gonna be just a rip-roaring fun time. There's a lot of walls. A lot of walls in the conversation And I don't mean LOLs. I mean LULLs. Yeah, no for for real Also, I don't know what it is about this table Arnie is kind of annoying the shit All right, that's what I think yeah, I think the table, I don't know what it's bornish with, or what is going on. But, well Arnie talked about in his world there's a thing called Harry Potter, and Harry Potter has these hori cruxes,

and if somebody holds them and makes them angry, and so I don't know if this table is magic in some way that it makes us angry at a certain person, like, Yeah, because when I'm sitting over there, it's like, oh, Arnie's hair looks great. Yeah, I'm going to great day, and I'm so happy for him. Oh, it's he lost weight and then I pull up to the table on my You know and I let me be clear. I do not mean it guys Everybody pick up your microphone. Let me take my laptop. Let's just move over to the next table. Wait. Wait. Is that table mimic?

Wait, wait, is something's a mimic. And guys, just for future reference, we can look for the smell that's, you know, the old sweaters that are wet with the consistently wet mice in the ramophace or just look for piles of shit behind an object. Also that, especially if they formed some kind of omen or portent. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

But guys, in this world, people are constantly just shitting behind us. Man, tell me about it. Oh, no. Yeah, terrible things must happen near you. Yeah. I'm constantly shooting on Arnie. But I think it's the table.

Yeah, let's go to the table. OK. Let's put it in the table. Oh, Arnie, let me help with that. Let me help cut a quick one. Hey, man, I appreciate you doing it. Why don't you shut up, Chunt? What?

We shut up for once. Try to help Arnie. No, why don't appreciate it. Why do you shut up, chunt? What? Shut up for once. Try it now, boy. No, why don't you shut up for once? Shut up, chunt. You're all chunt. My channel is at my mouth. Shut off. Shut off.

That's, yeah. Guys, I think there's something about this table that doesn't like chunt. Let's try another one. Shut the fuck up. Let's try another table. Let's go. All right.

Here we go. Here we go. I'm easing. I'm easing. I'm a wizard. I got meaning name. I do have any name. My whole thing is all my name. I got name to everything. My rope smells like dude.

I like to talk for like three minutes at a time. And even at about the two minute mark, I realize I don't really know where I'm going with this. But I charge on for another minute. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait self-worth. I'm great. Let's read an email. No, yeah. You know, hey, you know, as always, you, the listener at home, can email me at Magic Tavern at puppies. That supplies a real email address and help us out, like figure out some of the mysteries of the tavern.

Here's an email. The subject line is Hello, and it just says, I'm a librarian. Is there any way I can help from Graham Fox? There what? There are a librarian. On Earth, it's a job where you keep people quiet around books. Because the books scare easy?

Probably. I guess it's so that if people are reading at the library, which is weird, because you can check the books out and take them home and read them someplace else. Oh, like a bookstore. Exactly. It's like on my world we have bookstores, but you can get stuff for free, but you have to bring it back. I suppose this person could help if they chose to send us some of their magical tomes and enchanted books with full of spells that we could use against the forces of evil. Well, the books on my world don't have spells in them.

God, tell me about it. But they have a different kind of magic, which is the magic of learning. Yeah, I started to shut across the top of your head. I remember you mentioned in this, I think it was off-mic. Do they have any of them, the tiny fishes you started to microfish? They got any of those, so they could send, we could use them as like tiny spies.

I'm sorry to put my way into your resistance. I'd just realize, you know what? I'm not gonna presume. No, please, chest. Yes. Join our resistance. Help us defeat the dark lord and the void. And hey, the gruget, that's up to you.

Well, I know, that's your friend. Yeah, I get it. I can go either way. She didn't seem that bad to me. What are you, do you have any qualms with him at home in the living room? I actually do. He eats all my frozen food. He keeps his socks in me.

You freeze food? Yeah. Weird. I got an ice box for some. Wait, that's the weird thing. His friend keeps his socks inside of him. I'm not crazy about that. Get caught in mouth.

To be fair, he's a box. He's a mimic. Hey, this table doesn't make me look anymore. Yay I think I made you like me more but we you can be the table table a table email here from Francisco Laredo says hello. You said or are you in shot? No, I am from Mexico I was just wondering if there are any Spanish-speaking people in food thanks love the show getting Not so better though. Well, that's a great question. I don't know, do you guys have the Spanish language in FUNE? No, just FUNE-ish. Wait, are you speaking FUNE-ish? Wait, are we speaking FUNE-ish? I've never

thought about this before. We're speaking FUNE-ish now. Of course, there's also L-Vish and Dwarvesh. But this is a base language that most of us speak in shes. There's FUNE-ish when you're done talking. When you're done. Yes. We're like what you do you do with a basement. There is, I mean, there's conversations and language that occur across a, you know, eons of time. And we call that Spanish, because, you know, it spans time. It's understood by future generations. So it's very slow.

Yeah. There's Fingarian. Oh, let's see. What else is there? There's Blimif. There's love languages, which is like how you communicate to someone else. Do you give gifts? There's sign language, like anything you write on a sign.

Sign language. That one's can be combi-se- universal. Yeah, that actually is exactly the same on my world. Do you know any Spanish? Um, see. I do not. See, I do not know any Spanish. Okay, are we just listing letters? Oh, la. La is more of a, I guess, a combination of letters.

Actually, I want to get back to Graham Fox, the librarian. I do know something Graham, if you can find any information in earthbooks that would help us in the tab, like I was wondering, like what's this? Isn't that what I said? Well, not spells, but there might just be... Find a way. It made it sound like there was a lot of books in this place.

Yeah. Maybe any kind of guidance other than it useful information. Just because that could be like, how to start a fire. Okay, well how about this? It feels like we have this painting of Otoxfather, Darby. And before we opened it up and found the dagger of Vas'hola, are you saying that anywhere near the top? Basically hot.

Before we found that, and the painting, Darby was alive, and then after we got it out and the painting Darby is dead, and he's pointing up to the ceiling like I guess Is there anything on earth about where is he buried by the way? I meant to ask that is he buried in the Vermilion Minotaur is he like just outside okay all the body puts are buried at the base of the tree that's connected also he's not buried in the cemetery across town. Oh, no, the bodyfoot's buried themselves near the familiar minotaur Dripfang is over there interrogating everyone else, but we should make perhaps we should have him interrogate the bodyfoot as well Oh, that's right. Dripfang's been spending a lot of time in the cemetery

Yes We had to be instructed him to do so and he did not do well on his performance review So he's trying to show off a little. Yeah, I heard that Darby was cremated and then his ashes were mixed with paint and that's what was used to paint that picture. Oh, really? But that's just a rumor. I never heard that. Well, I also heard that if you say his name three times, then people would be like, yeah,

and like, no, not you, sorry. It's not a good rumor. I don't hear a lot of rumor. I'm just in the corner of her. So like, I just kind of catch, catch, can, you know? Sure. And I'm like, wait, what was that? But I don't say it. Here every third word and just kind of fill in the blanks. Yeah, yeah, we should try to find O-Talk

Oh, yeah, we meant to do that. We'll get around we'll get around to that's another language O-Talk Well Graham, please if you find any information about Darby or dead Darby or like Darby roller Darby roller Darby or dead Darby or like Darby roller Darby roller Darby Anything about any info about Darby the end of Darby anything. Oh He's speaking Oh talk. Oh It's just where you talk with all of oh I'm fluent have you ever heard pigletton what's pigletton? That's rude Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, The most important aspect of this entire enterprise is its family-friendly nature. Picturing those wee toe-headed children leaning in close to the speakers, especially during

episodes like this, it just brings a tear to my eye, and another, and another, and suddenly mourning has come. Use it all the wizard was played by Matt Young. John the Talking Badger was played by Adolf Refy. Chest trunk-born, the mimic shaped like a treasure chest, was played by special guest Travis McElroy, one of the titular brothers from the podcast My Brother, My Brother, and me, as well as a near infinite number of other podcasts, all of which can be found at McElroyShows.com. And if you like our little pageant that happens once a week, despite my best efforts, you're

sure to enjoy the Adventure Zone, a Dungeons & Dragons podcast Travis does with his brothers and father that actually wraps up a storyline every now and then, as impossible as that sounds. Assorted other characters, including Groogan, were all played by Paul Suboren of the band Paul and Storm. Check out his music at PaulandStorm.com. So are we really saying the mimic was there for every episode? I'm finding that a hard sandwich to masticate. Craig, could you reconstitute an old recording? I don't know, maybe episode 13 subheading boys' night, so we can fact-check.

And then, you know, a few hours later, he's hungry again. I was just like the best... I was just like the best whole time with my dad. Yeah, that's like my ghost, right? Good. Just good story my dad. Yeah, that's my ghost. Good. There's good story Yeah, there's death. No, I mean that's technically that is a ghost story. Absolutely. Was it boys night worthy boys? Boys night boys night As you see me they sprawl you oh, thank you. Oh wow. Okay. I'm gonna try. I don't now I don't have any intrinsic magic. So mine's probably not gonna illuminate. Yes, obviously. Uh, alright, uh, Gaylord licking Dobber. Ahahahahaha! Good one, Arnie!

He clearly didn't hear that one properly. Shut you rascal. Gayly licking comma. Alright, thank you. Ooh, okay. Boys night. Boys night. Boys night. Well, I'll be trapped in a dusty jewel. It's very subtle, but he was there the whole time. Craig, I'll be spending an hour or two in the shame hamper.

Dot the eyes and cross the tees here, would you? Hello from the Magic tab and was produced by Arnie Neacamp, Evan Jacoba, and Ryan D'Georgi. This one edited by Garrett Schultz. Music by Andy Poland, logo by Allard Lebon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz. You know friends with the holidays approach in an old St. Nick knocking on the chimney, we've got lots of Magic Tavern merchandise on Pod Swag, Topotaco and Ann Arbatees, but the easiest way to find it all is to go to hello from themagictavern.com. There you'll see links to the new Magic Tavern pins that get in nut shirt,

the Magic Tavern dress up, magnets, posters, and maps and just a whole lot more. Give a Magic Tavern gift this holiday a season, it helps support the podcast, and it'll make some Magic Tavern fan real happy. You can also visit us on Facebook or Twitter, big ol' pile of thanks to the Chicago Podcast co-op, and thanks of course to Ear Wolf. All aboard! If you spend most of your time in a dank dungeon pretending to be a box, you might be a mimic. If you've got a bunch of horses up on blocks in your yard, you might be a mimic. If you got kicked out of chess club, you might be a mimic. If you've never known the touch of a loved one, you might be a mimic.

If you're lonely, oh, so lonely, so very, very, very lonely, you might be a mimic.