Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 41 - Blue Chris-Must (w/ Jessica McKenna and Zach Reino from Off Book)

Episode Date: December 25, 2017

It’s Winter Solstice time again and music is in the air. And we’re visited by two Great Blue Tigers.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungCerulean: Jessica McKennaAzure: Zach ReinoLioncelot: Greg SmithTomblain Belaroth: Steve WaltienMysterious Man: Tim SniffenCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Evan Jacover, Ryan DiGiorgiEditor: Garrett SchultzTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzSpecial Thanks: Josh RichmondYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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collide in a game of life and death. I'll just say what we're all thinking. A high-profile destined for immortality film was released last week, and while I've heard your bleated requests for no spoilers, I can remain silent no longer. Jumanji does not feature so much as a frame of BB Newworth. In protest, I'm calling the movie Jumanji, is your casting director allergic to talent? It was either that or Shamanju. Manji, enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fun.

I'm your host, Darni and you camp. Happy winter solstice! Happy holler days! If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. I fell through a dimensional portal behind a birken in Chicago about two and a half fish years ago into the magical fantastical land of fune, and it just happens to be Winter Solstice right now, which is kind of like Christmas on Earth. Guys, I need my co-host to help me really explain what I'm talking about.

I'm joined as always by my co-host, Chant the Talking Badger. Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays!

Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! That's that only I can celebrate. Please don't involve yourself Happy Prawnsah What what is Prawnsah? Oh Prawnsahs were we celebrate by eating prawns. Oh, that's really you know I'm really like that so many of the holidays are very literally named here. What else would Prawnsaby? Don't know Something clever. Yeah, absolutely Don't know. T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- with it's like channel surfing holidays. What is channel surfing? Oh, like a buddy of water? Well, on my world, there's a thing called television. It's like a podcast, but it has a visual component.

Oh, why don't we do that then? That'd be so much cooler. Well, you know, I feel like people can't really watch TV shows while they're driving, or they shouldn't. And I really feel like if we're gonna get the people on Earth to be listening to this podcast to help us discover the mysteries of the tavern, they need to be able to listen in their car. So you're saying this wouldn't translate to video?

No, not at all. For a certain money. For a certain money. For enough money. Look, with enough production values, this could definitely translate to video. If you found the right partners to help you, for certainly it's not impossible to convert it in such a format and if you're out there listing Well, we're happy to listen to what you have to say absolutely

Whether you're the owner of a cable network or a streaming service or a chain of art house movie theaters I'm also joined by my other co-host, Yusidor, the Wizard. I am Yusidor. Wizard of the twelfth realm of a fesiest master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical lights, devourer of chaos, champion of the great holes of tracus, the elves noomiest fiend yalok, the dwarves noomiest zone in in hook stangies, and I am known in the north east as gas-lashing. My ismastah, and there may be other such wonderful holiday names that if you were to utter them aloud, a beautiful snowfall would cover your town in a beautiful, perfect holiday

feel. Holiday names, you know, the user I don't think I've ever done this. I don't think I've ever wanted to hear more of your names, but something about them being holiday names, I mean I want to hear at least one, what's about them being holiday names. I mean, I want to hear at least one. What's one of your holiday names? Oh, a Crip Cremble. Crip Cremble? Oh, yes. Yes, I'm known all over the Fingaria. It's Crip Cremble.

Oh, wow. Yes, I sneak into children's hobbles at night, and I leave them one piece of candy, and then the next day I come and take it back. Oh, no. They have one deity, that piece of candy candy and they don't eat it. I take it back. But what about your arch nemesis? blood bramble Nemesis is a strong one. Oh, we don't get along. We aren't speaking right now. She knows what she said. Oh Do you know what she said? No She knows what she said. Oh.

Do you know what she said? No. But she knows. She knows. I'm mad because I don't know and she won't tell me. Yeah. John, when you were just a little badgy, what? Well, I wasn't a little badgy.

I was taking many forms. Oh, that's true. Because I'm a shapeshifter, not a badger. As a child, what form were you most often, when you think of yourself as a child, when you get nostalgic for your childhood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And beep, beep, beep, beep.

Like me, when I'm nostalgic for myself as a child, I imagine myself either in kind of like a 70s era Spider-Man tank top or Spider-Man in like a 70s era or like a t-shirt with like an iron on print of my face that I got from a church. It's like he's in the wizard's state. I don't understand what it's saying. You're just viewing gibberish.

Crunch time. Crunch time, that's what I get. And I love. I guess I would probably be most likely to think of me being a squirrel or some sort of bird, perhaps. Here's your prawn. Oh, you sure you want a prawn? Happy prawn.

Thank you. I love prawns. You eat the prawn and then what you slam the the tail, the discarded tail on the table and you say prawn after life immediately. And that makes sure that the prawn soul goes somewhere after the sick. We gotta protect those prawn souls, right? They are for our enjoyment. Oh, yeah. bronzer. Oh I'm also known is Kring Brosby. Kring Bros- all of your holiday names are impossible for me to say, Yusudar. Well that's because you have difficulty saying things allowed in the order that they're meant to be said. But that's all right. It's the holidays and we're being kind to what I tell you tonight.

I have a little gift for everyone. Oh. Chunt for you. Give, give, give, give. I have a little gift for everyone. Oh. Chunt for you. Give, give, give, give. I have a rock. Ooh, is it a magical rock? Of course, it's a magical rock. This rock will make you feel as if you are 10 feet tall.

Damn, I'm walking tall. And Arnie for you? Yeah. I have. Can you guess? Is it a rock? No. What?

It's a new shirt. A new shirt? Yes. Oh my God. This is great. Where did you even get a shirt? I went to the tailor. We have tailors in food.

You've just been sitting in the same shirt for two and a half for years. What? I had other shirt options all this time. Don't you see the other patrons of the bar cross-leigh wearing tunics and pantaloons? Now that you have a shirt, I'll get you a doublet next year to go over it.

Nasty boy. Oh right. You've been a little bit of a nasty boy. I have been a little bit of a nasty boy. Which reminds me, it's time to celebrate Nass Miss. Nass Miss? What's Nass Miss? It's where you celebrate all the nasty things you've done.

Oh wow, is there like a figure head? Like is there a magical creature? Shaky Stevens. Shaky Stevens, and does he have like a vehicle, like a NASCAR that he drives around in? I don't know, he has a NASCAR. Oh, I see a NASCAR. You could shorten it to car,

but it would be nonsensical. Fair enough. It is weird how all the things you say are sensical, but the things I say are nonsensical. Oh my God, home-filled advantage. Guys, I'm already feeling a little bit claustrophobic. I have just something about the holidays. Like I love them, and I'm excited to spend time with my good close friends, but then immediately

I'm like, oh god, why? Like the walls are closing in. Like why am I spending so much time celebrating this holiday with you guys? Well then you should celebrate Levervim. Levervim? Levervim. What's Levervim? Celebrating this holiday with you guys. Well then you should celebrate Leather Vem. Leather Vem? Leather Vem. What's Leather Vem? It's one of the most wonderful winter solstice holidays.

Where you cast a magical spell on yourself. Where you fly high above the lands of Foon and look down upon them and then just take in all the beautiful lights. Oh, that sounds nice! You have to have magical abilities to celebrate it. Oh yes. Oh. Now that doesn't mean you have to have magical abilities to celebrate it. Oh yes. Oh. Now that doesn't mean you have to be innate magical properties.

You certainly could take a floating potion or have a wizard or a sorcerer cast a spell on you to make you fly around food. Hmm. That sounds pretty good. Would you like me to cast a spell on you to make you fly around food? I don't trust you. That's fair, that tracks. Wow. I mean, I love you, buddy. I love you fly around and fool. I don't trust you. That's fair, that tracks. Wow.

I mean, I love you, buddy. I love you. It's not like I don't look. It's not that I don't trust your motives. It's that I don't trust your abilities. Not better. Arnie, what? We tell us more about love, actually.

Please. You're right, guys. Please, please, please. For listeners, this is something that's been happening off-mic, but I have been instituting the 12 days of Christmas here in Hogsface, where every day I talk about another storyline from the wonderful tale of love, actually. It's not even a whole sentence.

It's true. It's true. Well, anyway, I know yesterday I told you the Liam Neeson storyline, but today at a certain set of skills that would make people like me? That's true. He was trying to save his daughter, but his wife had died and he was trying to love again,

but also catch the people that had kidnapped his daughter. Wow. I have to confess that I was channel surfing while watching love actually, so I might not know the whole thing. There's that phrase again, channel surfing. Yeah, you haven't said it in a hundred some episodes and now you're doubling down.

I'm just thinking about it a lot. But you know, I'm so excited to tell you today's Love Actually story, but is it just me? Are there's like this weird figure over in the corner of the tavern. Oh, that huge cloaked figure? Yeah, there's a big cloaked figure over there.

Use it, or? Oh, I see it, yes. What is that big cloaked figure over in the corner? I'm not certain. I assume it's some sort of beast or monster. Nothing to worry about. Call him over. Hey beast or monster.

That's rude. Um, are you talking to us? Yeah, oh, yes! Got it! Is he talking to... That beast is... More than one person? Oh.

It speaks in the royal way. Oh! Are you talking to us? Yeah! Get off of my shoulders. Ugh! Oh! Oh my goodness!

Yes, humans bow and be amazed for... You are in the presence of two great blue tigers! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! What? Hello, Kring Brosby! Ah, Kring Brosby! I kneel before your greatness, oh majestic tigers. Will allow you to scratch behind the ears and the cheeks, but not the tummy!

No, not the tummy, for that takes weeks to work up to. May I please grab you by your toe? Yes. Yes. Ha la ha la! Happy holidays. Oh and a happy holiday to you. Happy holidays to you. Well I'm so excited to finally meet some great blue tigers. I feel like you're one of the first magical creatures that I heard tell about in the not some great blue tigers. The only remaining two great blue tigers. That's right for their once were three, but now there are only two. As our sister sapphires, with us no longer she, perished at make-out point.

I believe with this shapeshifter. Oh, no. Oh, please, do not recoil a durable best here. No, a swage yourself A swish yourself of guilt- Small, shifting one. For a sister sapphire could see the future. She knew exactly what she was getting into. She is the great blue tiger of the future. I am the great blue tiger of the past. And I am the great blue tiger of the present.

Oh. Thank you for letting me let go of that guilt. Uh, that feels great. Did you have guilt? It looked like you just had fear that we were going to eat you Pounce on you murder you. Yeah, I'm emotionally stunted so I kind of lump the two of them together But yeah, I was mostly fearful of you, you know exacting revenge. It is natural to be afraid of great and powerful magic But I was here on my brother's shoulders under one trench coat because we wanted to hear the end of love actually.

How does it end? How do the special set of skills become involved? Well, you know guys, I mean look, I can skip ahead to all the storylines and also I've got to say it's not on how it ends It's about like all of the different stories collectively feeling like more than the sum of its parts because we've been talking We have a guess as to how it ends. Oh, I would love to hear your guess. I, by the way, I should probably have introduced. We have both met Kring Brosby, of course. I am Azur. My name is Serillion.

And our sister Sapphire. Oh, yeah. She's dead. She's no longer with us. So, and Azur, you're the present tiger. Yes. And Serillion, you're the past tiger. Yes, that's right. Because our winter solstice holiday is

Haggbum and a happy haggbum to you and a happy haggbum to you a happy haggbum to you Thank you, thank you, kring, bros, thank you for being here. I always thought they were saying humbug. No, no haggbum haggbum haggbum yes, is that the holiday where you celebrate a witch's ass? A Hag-hag. A Hagsbum. Hagsbum. No. No, no, no. That is the day after the winter solstice ends, and everyone celebrates Hagsbum, where you take all the gifts that you didn't like, but you are afraid to say, I don't like that gift, and you shove it up a Hagsbum. Con-with consent. You say, Hag, may I put this up your palm bum? Hag, come here, and if she doesn't come, then you summon her by magic.

And then you say, now that we are face-to-face Hag, may I shove this up your bum? And she says, not if we're face-to-face, and then she turns about and she spins around. And she says, here is my bum, but I don't understand why.

You don't want that apron, and I say. And you say, well, I have too many aprons. What? I only need one apron. Why would I ever need more than one apron? You get dirty wash it. You shove it up the hags, but that is happy at Hagsman. We sell it at Hagsbong. I say, and the hags totally into it.

It sounds like. With consent, very important. Very important. Totally into it, much like the primary minister and will have actually is totally into his secretary. Yeah, absolutely. That's one of the story lines from Love Actually that I have explained. And I love the storyline about her getting okay with the way she looks.

Yes, it is important to look upon yourself and think. My thighs aren't getting thick. The Prime Minister has a crush on me. Now, I do have to say, Arnie's been telling us these tales over these 12 days. And, you know, they haven't aged well over these 12 days, honestly, some of them don't really hold up. Yes. Especially that Kira Knightly one.

And I usually love the stories you tell us about her. I know. Well, can't wait till the 5th of November. Is that right? You want us to remember the 5th of November? Yes, right, guys. The most important? You want us to remember the 5th of November? Yes, right guys. The most important thing to take away is remember, remember the 5th of November. I don't remember why I'm supposed to remember it.

A little fox just ran by. What a cute little guy. I'm so sorry we got really distracted. We really channel surfed to something else. What were you telling us about Hagbum? Happy Hagbum to you. Happy Hagbum to you. Happy Hagbum to you! Hagbum is when every winter solstice,

we find a greedy businessman, and you help a greedy businessman. Hagbum. Help a greedy businessman. It's an acronym holiday. Now we, the great blue tigers, have a strategy between ploy to help the greedy businessman.

First, my sister Cerulean comes to him in the night. And I show him his past, and I say, look upon this past with fresh eyes! See things you missed as you lived it a first time! And I come to him, still in the night, but a little bit later in the night, and I say, look upon the present! Look upon that which is around you even now that you do not realize it's happening, and then our sister, Sapphire comes. And she would say, here is the future, if you continue on this path and it would give

sort of the whole thing stakes and purpose, but she is gone now. Less effective. So Hagbom is not a super successful holiday. She's the impressive one, if you think about it. Aren't you? That's rude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Nini, what did you say?

Just say, look, showing people their past is nice. And showing people the present is sort of like, I mean, everyone can do that. I'm sorry. Nini, what leaked out of your mouth is absurd, because can you go to the past? And can you, in this moment, show your friend Chantier all of the present that isn't in this room?

Nini, you are being very ridiculous. Oh, I guess. Perhaps you are the greedy businessman, we shall help. You have two shirts? Two shirts? What need you with this second shirt? Well, the old one has a stain on it. Oh, well then you get rid of that shirt and have one good shirt. Yes, why? This desire for more, Mimi.

Well, I don't, I look, I just got it as a gift. I guess I am running the Vermilion Minotaur now, so I kind of am a business. What are your profit margins? Well, we've made a big pile of coins, and also a slightly smaller pile of, uh, like, uh, rubies, baby. What are the red ones? Rubies? Yeah.

Yeah, the red, the red like uh... they're not coins. They're like uh... they come out of the earth. Gems? Maybe they're gems. And you were openly shilling for a TV deal earlier. It's true. Yeah, pandering. You're all pander bear. Yes, for a while, we thought,

I don't understand what this has to do with the tale of love, actually, but we continue to listen anyway. But you know, we have actually traveled here with our good friend and perhaps it would help you mean it for us to sing you a traditional Hathbum song. Oh, yeah, I love holiday songs. You know, I would love to hear one. Have I ever mentioned that the great blue tigers often travel within a company list because they do. We do. It is, His name is Lon Salott. He is half lion, half all Salott. He is a lesser cat, but magical in his own way,

an incredibly adept at playing all sorts of keyed instruments. Lon Salott, I'd love to go in here with his guy. Lon Salott. Oh, Lion Salott, then never mind. Yes, he goes wherever we go, so that we at any moment can sing a hagbum song, a traveling song, and you sort of song. A song of greeting, a song of mourning, a song of fear, a song of joy. Song of hey, let's put this in a song so we

remember these facts for later it'll make it easier to remember if they're in a song. Yes, educational music. Yes, spread throughout food. I love expositional songs. You know when Azura mentions that he can help you sing any song You don't really need to list all the types of songs. It's just say any sort of sort of sketch all say all songs Yes, all songs unless there's like a song type or two that you're like we do not sing that type of song Very true, then you have to say all songs minus these two. Oh yes, well we do not sing songs in the shower. No, no, no, no, no. Absurd.

Absurd. Well your cats you don't shower, that would be insane. And that's why we said it's absurd. When it showers, we hide under the nearest tree. Do not put your rain of water upon our heads. No, no, no. Low if your rain does begin to fall on these tigers, then you shall face the wrath of you, Sador, for I shall not allow one droplet of water to fall upon their heads.

Yes, Kring, Rossby. Thank you for your protection. Join us in our ever-ending crusade to be the death of all clouds. I shall! You guys, to remember this bit of information, you should come up with a song called Don't Let the Rain Fall Down On Me. Yes, we already have that one. We have one, would you like to know? Oh, sure, yes.

Now we're doing the rain one first. Rain from the sky, my o' meek, my o' mye. Don't let it fall, her, don't let it fall on my fur My oh my I think I will die if let the rain fall on me Don't let the rain fall on me Any drop of water that I see I say don't let the rain fall on me. Kill the clouds.

I forgot how many songs in FUNA are anti-cloud. Oh yes, yes. You can find this in a collection song book of musical notes of several, several different songs about anti-cloud. And this is why Cerulean, Azurani and Sapphire originally became friends. Because what is the natural enemy of a bird? A cloud. Oh, we're saying clouds. I thought we were saying clouds. Clouds.

No, clouds. That makes clouds. Clouds are just hardworking folk who are trying to spread merriment and joy. If they're too scary, you can eat them in one big bite. How? How? How? How? And rain doesn't come out of clouds. That's what I was thinking. That's very funny. The spring of flowers or something. Oh, very good chunk. Very good chunk. And maybe the tiger of the past might be able to remember this because this is a bit of an oldie.

Isn't there a song that's about like bringing the clowns? Send in the clowns. Yes. That's what it was. But isn't it S-E-N-D-I-N apostrophe? Yes. A group of clowns is called a sendin. Oh, I see.

Could I just hear a snippet of sending the clowns? Sure. Aren't they wealthy? Aren't there too? A group of so many clowns They're here for you. What's it called? Send in the clowns Here are the clowns in a group for you

Yeah, oh bad hit the spot. Thank you so much. Oh, you're very I find a music like that on earth Arnie Thank you so much. Oh, you're very... So I find a music like that on Earth, aren't you? How good luck! Of course luck! How good luck! We should actually spread the joy of Hackbaugh, though, since we're... Yeah, I'm really... I mean, those songs were great, but not enough exposition for me.

Oh, well, we are happy to oblige with a song full of exposition. Mary hack, but Mary hack, but Mary hack, but Mary hack, but Mary hack, but Mary hack, to you. From three great tigers of shades of blue, Mary hack, but Mary hack, but Mary hack, but you. Blue, Mary, handbook, Mary, handbook to you On this day, if you're good in health If you are a businessman, please assess your wealth If you are a businessman, and feeling needy You must assess the fact that you have gotten to greedy

On this Mary, Mary, handbook, Mary, Mary, handbook Mary, Mary, high bum, merry, merry, high bum, merry, merry, high bum to you Merry, merry, high bum, from these great tigers, there used to be three and now there are two In the night we'll save your soul when you hear a great big clock of a toll One from the past, one from the present they say Change your ways this very day There used to be one who came from the future Now she's dead and so you sir

We'll have to imagine what the future will bring Do it all with this next part We sing about this Merry Merry High Bum. Merry Merry High Bum. Merry Merry High Bum to you. Merry Merry High Bum. Merry Merry High Bum. There used to be three, but now there are two. Now there are two left. The only two to walk the phone alone.

To a brother and sister who walk food as one for they, they journey to become bolder, one standing on the other one shoulder And we don't mean too loud But we have the most fantastic Trinch code on this Merry, Merry, Hygbum Merry, Merry, Hygbum Merry, Merry, Hybum To you

Merry, Merry, Hybum Merry, Merry, Hybum There used to be three, but now there are two Oh, hey, crap, that was amazing Wonderful, so beautiful Oh, thank you I have to ask, as incredible as that was, I can't help but feel that maybe you're not over me causing your sibling stuff. Oh dear, Chuck.

Oh dear, Chuck. It's not any furry, furry thing. No, no, no, no, no. It's important for people to know that yes, Hagbom has been in a way ruined forever. Since we can no longer show a business man the future, but you know, you shouldn't have to see the future to realize that perhaps you haven't been doing things very well and you should change your way so chant ono sweet sweet chant sweet tiny easily swallable chant there's something

that also you should know chef i was the great blue tiger of the future she knew full well when she went to make a point but there was a chance that she might not make it out okay think i just want to help me with something really quick yes of course um and thank you for wiping away the tear on my But there was a chance that she might not make it out. Okay, I think I just wanted to- Can you- Can you- Can you- Can you- Can you- Can you- Can you count my teeth? Could you just be a deer and count them for me? I just hop on in there and count those teeth. Easy peasy, here we go. Let me just step on it. Wait, wait, John, are you- What are you gonna do this?

Yeah, it's the least I could do. I feel like they could easily eat, eat, eat. Well, yeah, but if they're going to do that, they just do it. They wouldn't be coy about it. Nini, we would just eat, John, right now. We just wanted to honor him with the job of counting teeth so that we could sing one of our favorite winter solstice tunes, teeth counting.

That's right. Oh. And I don't think they can eat you if they don't know how many teeth there. Very good. Oh, Craig. Very good. So crawl on into his mouth. Here we go. That one there if you're feeling bolder please count how many molars? Yes, count if you're feeling wiser Make sure that I have both incisors And count if you want to do it greater How many decapitate us?

That's a kind of tooth that a blue tiger has Count our teeth If you please, count our teeth, if you please, count our teeth, teeth, teeth, count our teeth, if you please, count our teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth, if you please, count our teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth, count our teeth, if you please, count our teeth, teeth, teeth, teeth, if you're feeling cold on this night, come a little closer sir, I won't fight, please count a little sweet shunt, do I have all the teeth in the front? And if you could count these and if you're hugging it, what's I am saying? This is dull. Could you sharpen it? Take this little, little file right here and file my teeth. Yes, then, count dot teeth. If you please, count dot teeth. If you please, count dot teeth. If few please! Count our teeth! If you please!

Teeth! Teeth! Teeth! How many? How many did you get, Sean? Um, I counted 53. Woo! That's really more than last year.

Congratulations! Congratulations to you, dear sister. How would you care to celebrate your three bonus teeth with a prawn? Yes, and a merry prawns at you and a merry prawns that to you Oh, could I get out? I'm so sorry you're getting caught all over my Thank you so much So really an as your I must ask an important question Mm-hmm. I know that no one can ever truly replace Sapphire

But if you thought about recruiting someone else to show people the future. Here's the thing, Kring. There is one entity that we know of that has mastery of a space and time aside from us. And as you can imagine, we are not thrilled about the idea of employing his services. Hard pass! Hard pass on Can the Wizard. Oh, Can! He seems great.

He's not. Nini, let me tell you something. Please, it's Arcamp. It, I'm sorry, what is it? Arcamp. Arcamp? Arcamp? Well, that's not a name, that's...

That's a famous song about Arcamp in the middle of the street. Yeah. Arcamp. Arcamp. In the middle of the street. Arcamp. That's not your name? That's not his name. Yeah. Oh camp.

Guys, can I ask you a question? Of course. Please, Neenie. Since your sister was horribly killed at make-out point, was she? We weren't there. How exactly did it go down, John? Well, I respectfully asked out Sapphire. I want to let you know that I did not push her into it.

This was not a push based on the Tiger Sapphire. We want to let you know that I did not push her into it. This is not a push based on the Tiger Sapphire. We did agree to go and while we are in Make Out Points, of course as you well know because you must have some behind the curtain scenes into how the magic works at Make Out Points. At the end of Make Out Point you can decide whether you live, that your partner lives, or you both live and I chose myself But surely Sapphire could see the future. Yes, as any predator would you I would choose myself. Mm-hmm But did you see does she just and now she's bones? Yeah, was it or like And that well, I mean there was at least one bone because you made the wish. Yes, was it into one bone, a stack of bones, or oh no, a long and terrible process to get to a bone?

I feel like there's a cliff involved, and at the bottom of the cliff there's a pile of bones, and then I was granted a wish upon those pile of bones. Chunch. I do want to let you know that did not go to waste. I did wish for always having at least two buttholes. Oh, so you don't need to find a hag on Hagsbone. No, exactly, exactly. That's nice. One for any, so one for at least two buttholes. Oh! So you don't need to find a hag on Hagsbum? No, exactly, exactly.

That's nice. One for any, so one for out of you. Oh, naturally. Naturally. Chant? Yes, ma'am. Have you not been to make out point in some time? It's been a while.

Because you know, such a romantic time of year, certainly, I feel like you could find a sweet little... Bad brush. Or celebrate shift must into something else and find anything you please. No, chant. How are you? Good. I'm very good. Yeah, I guess this is the time to maybe think about getting back out onto field. Yes. Get into that field. Get into that field. Yeah, I guess I guess I will. I don't this may not be a thing that they have on earth, but when you when you start dating it again you get back into the field.

Oh, there's a big field right outside of Hogsface, and you go there and you just sort of hope that someone shows up who's as desperate as you are. Oh, and there's pretty tall grass, so usually someone's gonna trip upon you, and then it's like you kind of meet cute. Oh, is that any sense? No, yeah, absolutely.

It's very cute. It's very, very cute. You know, that has me wondering, like, and again, I just love holiday songs. Are there any kind of sexy holiday songs? Finally someone asked why of course there are nini. Yes, there's it's our camp. There's our camp We went over this our camp is in the middle of the street if you need to find us that's where There are lots of needs to eat yes our camp our camp, but yes

There are plenty of sexy winter souls to songs. I should ask Kring, John, do you have any particular favorites that you would like to hear or just any one that we like? I mean I'm always partial to I don't know if I've told you about this or any there's this this quick celebration that happens once during the winter solstice where it's called a one horse open sleigh and what happens is we bring into town one horse and we openly murder them just start right out in the open We just very So the sexy about

All this sort of blood bath balkan all works kind of like anything goes. Oh, I guess okay if there's a song about that That's great. I was just hoping that there was like a song like like papi wants to shift the shift miss or something I don't know. Oh my apologies. I thought you asked for a sexy song. No, by all means sing papi wants to shift the shift We'll do it. It's a real bummer of a song Oh Okay, no, I would love to hear the horse murder song. You sure it's real short. We can do it for you This is papi wants to shift the lion's a lot Against all odds someone has requested papi wants to shift the shift miss slot against all odds. Someone has requested Papi wants to shift the shift's miss.

And he didn't even know it was a thing. He just stumbled upon an actual song, you piece of shift. It's a shift. It's a piece of shift. On a cold and lonely winter's night I went walking with candlelight Hoping to find my party once again Walking on the next road, she's my stay. I came across a field of grey, hoping to find my daddy once again, but he wasn't there. Because Paddy shifted, shift must.

Where did it go? Paddy shifted, shift must. Nobody knows. The tears I cry won't deliver us. Come, patty, shift, shift, shift, mozzz. It's based on a true story about a time child who died in a winter storm. Hmm, sexy. It's really not. Oh, okay. But this one is.

This one is. Ooh, girl, let's I see you got a horse Let me see this and then we can do about that horse Oh You got there, but let me tell you something, but that horse is full of love, but that horse is also full of blood Oh, if you wanna get to my heart, and you wanna get there today Why don't you and me open sleigh? We got one horse, let's open it and sleigh

We only got one horse, let's open it and slay We only got one horse lets open it and slay Oh yeah gonna slay us lay us lay I'm making love with you on the inside of a horse today Because we only got one horse open and slay Girl you know I see you there. I know if ends are buzz Making love has never felt so good is when you're doing it all horses got Yeah, I love feeling warm blood on my skin of course And I really love doing it with you in the cocky soft

Because when you're like I want Horseless, I've been in and slain We got an open and in slain and slain We got one horseless, I've been in slain We got a slave, slave, slave If you got a moose or an elk that would even be okay But nothing's better than a one-hours-hurt-so-man SLEEEEEEEE No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no inside of a horse? Inside, inside, double inside. Double inside. One of the sexiest things in food is to wake up with a horse head in your bed.

Oh, no, yeah. Pulled like a covers and just see that horse head and just scream and exit. I'm just screaming and exit. Beautiful agony. You know, I've never thought about it. There are so many things to do with a dead horse. Oh, yes. That's very true.

Paint them. Watch a middens game in their blood. You're watching a middens game in their blood. Oh, yes. loves them paint them watch a middens game in their blood Middens game in their blood. Oh, yes, you murder them. Oh, you can crawl inside of them with 20 for closest friends And then kind of scooch into the nearby city that has walled defenses and then creep out in the middle of the night. Oh Oh, that's a good one. You got salad. You can definitely sell it. You can eat it. You could put it on your wall I never thought about this this must be it You could beat that that horse if you wanted to Feels like we're there should we take a break?

Yeah, let's take a quick break because guys we got to get money from our sponsors You are a great reading Reggie Shins I'm just saying I need bigger piles and we all got to work a little bit harder. I know it's a holiday We got to work a little bit harder to increase those piles. Oh, sorry. I think we found this yourself. It is early, and I think we have two thirds of a journey

to take this man on. Mm-hmm. Hello, Hogsface. I'm a series of bats. You know me. But do you really? This summer in Mick Schingel's Chain Forest, I'm bringing my 9-Bat Show, a series of bats, the story of my life, to Hogsface. Come join me for an intimate evening of music,

dance, and fluttering around as you'll learn how I learned to echo locate because I'm really a series of bats. You know me, I'm a series of bats. But do you really know me? Come see a series of bats upstairs with the small-during widow every Thursday at eight four gold pieces, eight gold pieces for students. This is Natumbling.Rop. Alright, we're back. What can we do to bring a little bit more money into the tavern to

increase my... You have lost the spirit of the holidays. This we show I demand that you learn some lesson and become a stronger, smarter, more loving man. Your cold heart agrees. What has for too long been a pole upon this tavern? It's weighing around you like a chain around your neck, nodding and weaving around your body parts. You've become a little miser. These are the chains I forged in life.

I earned them. Ever since we took over the town of Hogsface in a despicable agreement with the dark Lord you have become a Solus old Maiza. That's great that What nothing I tried to put some coal on the fire earlier and you said no, yeah, Neenie Neenie it is you you are this year's hagbum Chant Kring if you'd like to join us you may also come along, but we Have a duty to fulfill. We have a path that we must walk, and that path now involves your life, Neenie.

Okay, well fine, but I can probably fit one apron. What? No, not that. We don't need your re-gifted apron instead of putting it into a hag's bum. We shall take you now to your winter solstice path. Quickly grab the whisker of my sister Cerulean. Gring on my back, chunt in my mouth. Away! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, look, there's you in the past. Nini, we are back on your dimension of Earth. Yeah, that's right.

I remember that Christmas that I watched love actually on that shitty black and white television. So there's someone next to you, isn't there? Yeah. Who is it? Tell us, who is this, Nini? It's my wife, but this is before she was my wife. Ooh, nice.

Super nice. I see you laying on the moves real thick. Congratulations for exiting the field with such a fine companion. I'm sorry, I cheated on you, Emma Thompson. Yes, and see you laughed at that very poignant moment and see how your wife's face fell. Why? Why, Nene? Did you have to make light of such a meaningful moment?

Wasn't it clear to you that she was reaching out to say, Yes, this is the thing I would like us to agree on, that we never cheat on Emma Thompson. But, Asier, could you please not try to teach me a more or less than what I'm trying to rewatch love actually? Christmas is all around us. Oh, so does story goes. I'm not teaching anything. This is my sister's domain. This is the past. Oh, I'm sorry. It's brilliant.

It's all right. Nina, you're very nice. I traveled back in time and undid that moment so my feelings are not hurt. Nina, take in this moment. Yes, rewatch love actually see that even though it isn't perfectly executed, it's hard in the right place, and isn't it sort of against everything we stand for to pick apart something that's basically good? Here's what I want to talk about, though.

That gold necklace is the ugliest piece of jewelry I have ever seen. Is that travesty? If I opened a box and I saw that piece of jewelry I would say, come here Hag, please come here. Got something for your bum. But this is how you spent a winter solstice in past. Any feelings or reflections now that you see it again? Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's kind of a shitty movie,

but the fact that it's seasonal makes it a little more special. That's right, and the fact that so many of our favorite actors could come together in one place. Don't we just imagine them all being good pals? Yeah, I mean, who doesn't love Hugh Jackman, and that guy who was... Oh, my God. Yes, and who doesn't love Hugh Jackman? Who doesn't love Hugh Jackman? Oh, shit! I figured out the lesson I was supposed to learn.

All of this time, I was going back and talking about that time that I watched love actually on Christmas, but now that I think about it, it was actually X2, the second X-Men movie that I watched that Christmas. And do you see now that actually X2 is all around us? For that is the lesson of the past. Wait, days of future past? No, no, no. X2.

X2. X2, X2, X2. And now that you have learned this lesson, let us travel. To the present, my domain, chumped into my mouth, cring upon my back. Yeah!

Arnie, upon my whisker. Oh, blah, blah! 51.52. Huh, this time I only got 52. They come and they go. Teeth alike. Little travelers moving through a mystic river. Oh my god, where are we?

Well, don't you know? We're on the other side of the tavern in the room where we just were. Why is you over there at the table? And there's us sitting next to the table, and there's Yusudor and Chant, do you see? Do you learn now? God, I've never walked all the way over to this side of the tavern before. Look at us all over there. Being sexy as hell. Really bringing it a huge way. That new shirt really looks good on me.

It really does. Get rid of the old one. Thank you, Yusudor. Yeah, I'm gonna get rid of that old one. But that is not the lesson, Neenie. Neenie, come with me. Okay, over here. Yeah. Open this basement door. The basement? I don't know. I don. Yeah. Open this basement door. The basement?

I don't know. I don't know if I want to go in the basement. There's so many secrets in the basement, Arnold. You must open the door. You must listen to what Azir has to teach you. You think my power was just to show you literally where you were in that one point? What would that do?

We're going places you can't go. All right. Take me there, Cyrillian. Now, Azir, what? what there's your I'm gonna travel to the past again and undo the fact You said that so I don't get my feelings hurt again. Okay. Okay. Take me there Sapphire. No, she is dead She is dead. Wow. You know what we're not going to the basement no more Basement journey from the present we're going somewhere else come on lesson from the present. We're going out the front door. Here we go. OK.

It's nice out tonight. Light snowfall, perfect weather for the winter solstice. It is kind of beautiful outside. Perfect time of year to warm your belly with a bowl of we so soup. We so thirsty for soup. Uponfft. Pfft. Upon my back, we have to go a little bit ways into the woods and it's gonna take a second if you want to walk.

Okay. It's so weird to have seen ourselves in the bar. That hasn't happened since you used your time-turner, you said, or? I know. Which we don't really use a lot. We use that one time. I feel like so many of our problems could have been solved with that time-turner. I know, but it just felt like it was a little too easy.

Yeah, okay You familiar with this rival tavern to your own you greedy greedy business man the smoldering widow Now that's going inside have you ever been inside this tavern before no yes Tigers This is the furthest we've traveled. Yeah, come on inside and you will see three figures sitting around a table not much unlike yourself And you will see three figures sitting around a table not much unlike yourself But oh are we visible to everyone right now we like Oh, no, no magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic magic You see these three figures seated around this this very table in this other to have a nut unlike your own Yeah, do you see that man sitting there the one one with the shirt? The one with the real bad

shirt. Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I just wish before everything it'll be on your shirt, but telling me for what I'll just go put my hand in the fire. That man is five years old. The years have been hard to him. Oh, he is not aged well. Should we call him a man and be fine yourself? Yes, for life has made him a man. Ah, the fire's hot, is! Ah, ah, I used to serve it for warning and second-shirt. Ah, it's wrong for you to want a second-shirt, Ana. If you want a second-shirt, the only way you're you ever gonna get it is if you sell your eyes

Yeah, you write Eyes eyes for sale get some technically young but look we're old and watery eyes guys I feel so bad that this five-year-old man is is selling his eyes is maybe can I sell my shirt so I could buy some eyes for him I mean that feels like maybe the most complicated way to use your funds to sell that product. Why? Why are you making this tricky? Just give him your spare shirt. I mean I will walk you right up to this lesson if I have to. I guess we have to. I guess we just did. Give him your spare shirt. Wait is the shirt corporeal or is it still...

No no no, no you go back now. I'm just gonna see a shirt floating over to her? No no no. Magic magic magic when no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, have you never heard of gift-againning? What's this? A gift-againning. It's the most wonderful thing you see. Perhaps if someone has given a shirt to you, but why need a second shirt? What will you do with two?

Well, if you are not greedy, and if you are a friend, gift-again, gift again, gift again. I only have two feet and I have two hands which I greet, But I was given a pair of shoes twice. So I took the other pair of shoes. I gave them away and this I choose to only wear gloves, Which is nice. Gift again, gift again.

Give a gift you have, but then you give to a friend. Gift again, give it again Give it, give it you have, but then you give it to a friend Give it again, give it again Now the song is over, it's the end Give it again! Do you see now, Neenie? I do, for if you do not, then a terrible future is in store for you We travel and now... Go to the future, sure to the future

See, this is where it really falls. Oh, yeah, sorry. There's no real payoff. But you can see how that would really pay off. I know. I feel at that point, I'm just really like ready to go to the future. The terrible outcome of the choices you make now and where they would lead you and how you could potentially avoid those might be a great inspiration. Because they're real bad, Neenie. Would you tell to me right now? Like, let's all go around and tell us what we think the worst thing

it could possibly be is. That little boy with no eyes starts running around with a knife on accident and stabs everyone. God damn, sir. You said worse. I don't want to say my name. I'll go stupid. Yeah, I was just going to say my name. You did, I'll go. You'll stupid. So really, yeah. I was just going to say Arnie starts tucking in his new shirt. Oh, what? Oh, faux pas.

No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. Not without a belt casual pants. My God. Certainly not. Everything is sort of metallic and fluorescent and Arnold Wears suits that are very square. You, Kring, you painted a picture with words and it was revolting.

I think maybe that five-year-old man grows up to be the dark Lord. Are we in the present? Oh wait, where are we? What time period are we in? The present. Where in the present? Where in the present? Where in the real present?

Oh, so like, what can we do? If something's already happening in the present? It's like is there a way for you tigers to show us food as if Arnie had never come here? Oh sure Yes, we just have to do it at the same time. Yep. Hold on news to news So this would be like Right, all right This is very interesting. Oh welcome uh... Welcome to the table. Oh, hello, Yusidor. I'm glad to be here at the table.

How are you doing at the table today? I'm doing fine, yourself. Do you see them, Nini, these two people, that you know so well, without you at that very table? Without you there to pick upon, all they can talk about is being at the table. Yeah. There's no one to kind of ask them questions about things that they both already

know about. Well, I suppose I should go with my quest, I would put it all flow enough now. Yeah, you should do that, and I should find love. Let's do that. And without my podcast, there's no real reason for them to meet and talk to new people. It was nice to know, and you chuned. I'll probably be dead soon. Oh, that would be a bummer to hear

Well, I'll see you later Well, I'll just see her at this table and Relish in the fact that I've developed a cure for cancer. Oh That's that's that's that's tricky. Oh, that's tricky up until now. I would have said it is a negative that you Used all seems like pretty sad and chan seems pretty sad too. Oh boy.

Unfortunately we can't change the timeline so we all just have to live with this knowledge. Oh really? Yeah sorry. I mean that was just... Well now I just feel like a jerk standing here with this five year olds eyes in my hand. Why do you have the eyes?

You bottom? What? Yes, you son of a... You're straight into new shirt for the eyes. Right, but the eyes for like two gold pieces. It gave me a very bad deal. He did. We're over here a little boy. Oh, sorry. Ow. Oh, if only I could hold on to something, use this stick.

Oh, I'll just grab this. Is this a stick? No, that's a knife. Oh, I've been stabbed to death. No, this is a knife. Ernie, why are you looking so smug? Someone just got stabbed to death by an eyeless man. Oh, Earth people are loving it in the past, President Future. Oh, truly, and as you're, we must regroup here. we must save Arnie's soul. We must do the thing that we never thought we could do, that we... ...feels us each would discuss.

We must show Arnie the future, that by calling upon... ...CAM the wizard. Alright, hold on. Tail to tail. Oh, yes. Well, this is how... I don't know if you know this,

but the way that great Blue Tigers contact other magical creatures is by... ...Tail. Hold on on just watch Tails Tail tail tail Tail tail. They're thumping their tails. We call into the void into the when the that that is not and the that that has not yet been Wait, don't have to stop the void What we don't we're just talking about just like an absence of space.

Yeah, different things, so sorry. Oh it's okay. I guess in order to enact this plan, we will settle for you. Can... The Wizard. Yes, hello! I'm sorry I was just walking by and I thought I heard my name. Hello, can it's been... well, I would say a while, but that would be nothing to you. Oh, hello, Sapphire. No, Sapphire is dead sadly. Thank you. Rost! Reminding us of our dead sister.

Ken. I'm sorry, I sometimes I get confused about what time period I'm in. I must have thought I was in the past. Or maybe the future? Ken, Ken. Ken, why are you covered in soup? That is a waste of we so soup. And we so thirsty for soup, Ken.

Ken, I know you're confused, but these two tigers sitting by my side, whose heads I'm petting, simultaneously. Are the great blue tigers, Serulean, and Azure. One of the past, one of the present, and they need your powers to see the future. So that we may save the soul of this one Ar-ne-ne camp Oh Hagbom cannot be complete unless we show him Hagbom's future. I see we're doing a classic Hagbom thing Not Hagbom Hagbom

Hagbom, I'm not sure. Okay, good. Look. You need me to do the future. Alright. I'll use my magical power. Which is to remember the future from before. Again, don't forget I don't travel through time, except in the way that everyone does by living forward through time all the way around. Unless this exposition is a song we don't give a shit. Oh, it is! Take it away! Lionel! Oh, it is! Take it away! I know!

I'm from the future But in the way that everyone's from the past I'm going to do that trick where we all take a napron and shove it up a witch's ass. That's Hexbone. I think it's confused. I'm confused. Arnie, are you even being adentions to this? Put those eyes down.

Stop putting them in front of you real-ized. I'm sorry, I just got distracted. I smell soup. I love soup. Arnie can, can Arnie. Hey, can you seem great? Hello! You seem familiar. But wait, can I show you the future? I'll be at the bar. Can we just use the time-trigger, please?

Yes, I'm going to wish... I'm going to... I'm going to... I'm going to go with Kring. Why is everyone slowly walking away? Guys, you smell like soup. You stink of soup. You stink of it!

Look, I'm sorry. I've just got a lot of soup on me, please. Don't go. Guys, I'm really about to stick the landing on this thing. I find, I will stay. Arnold, the landing on this thing. I find, you find will stay. Arnold, knee camp, it's Ernie. I wish there was some way I could show you your future. I wish you could look right in front of you and see your future,

but there isn't a way that I can do that. So I'm going to point at this hole in the ground. Look at that hole in the ground. Look at that hole in the ground. What was the point of calling him? I can't point it to a hole. Think about it. Think about it. Oh, are you saying he will die? Yes, can't we all will die. That's not what we need this more specifics. He's just implying that he's mortal. He knows he's mortal, can't. This is a scared straight situation. You have to go into details of his death. I miss Sapphire. Oh, me too much.

I have an idea here. I shall assist Ken. He is shown Arnold a grave. I shall magically transport Arnold a grave. What? God, you're a thug. Ah! Arnold is in a grave right now. He's been buried alive.

Kring, can I just say? Yes, we're all- That was some shit. That was very cool. That's crazy cool. Thank you very much. Should we bring him back now? I mean, no, but yes.

I mean, I just wanted to make sure he really- I mean, it's been so long since we've actually got to enact a future scare. I'm not around. No one does it quite like Sav. I feel like don't we leave him there for a bit? I just want to bring him right back. Well, I don't know. I'm confused about which one of them is living and maybe we'll kill him. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, bring him back. Carthmum, yoth, juts, shh! Ah! Oh, god.

That's what will happen to you and everyone who's mortal. Yeah, I don't want to be buried alive. Oh, no, you'll be dead when it happens to you. Oh, that seems better. Oh, sorry, sorry, sir. Can you get out of the way? I'm trying to make my way downtown to the market. Oop, oop, a test.

A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test.

A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test. A test you know the time or what days that wait let me go to the win well I just this is gonna sound weird you want me to stand here while you go up

there he's gonna catch up in any second window yeah I just this is a weird request can I talk to you through a window I guess so I'll wait here if you're gonna climb upstairs oh no I could you not sure. I'll go. You should look at this. Just make a window please. Defend a striciotta! I'm going to burn him. Can you hear me? Yeah.

You know when Yusudor makes a window, he closes the door. You'll throw a smog. But what day is this? Today is Winter Solstice. Today is Winter Solstice? I guess. Like what would do? does it have a date? I guess I've never asked this question before.

You, young lad, did days on this world have numbers attached to them? Are you talking to me or to the man you already talked to the other boy? Any young lad! Are you talking to me? All of you, what day is today? What day is the day of our choir, Ressiah! One, two, three. Ha, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma taste and this is not a fad. No it's not a fad no. It's a choir of lads so...

An acquired choir you won't like us at first when first you hear our choir you will think we are the worst! And we like to sing cause that is our biz. But we'll gladly tell you what day it is. It's Hague Bum Day. Hague Bum Day. Hague Bum Day. Hague Bum Day. The day where all young lad shout hooray hooray

That's what day it is mr. I guess it is hack bomb day Well here each of you take a coin. Oh you threw an eye at me. Oh There was a coin. That's wrong. Hey. Oh my god. It's oh my god. It's what it's well here Each of you take a coin and two of you can have an eye if you want. Does that mean you want an eye? Oh my god. My uncle's fish eyes. Give me one. Oh, what about the little man?

No eyes. Oh, yeah, I don't want to give him back the same gift he gave me. You know what I mean? How about do any of you have body parts that you'd be willing to give to that boy? Like an exchange? Why are we getting broken into this? Anyway, all of you buy a turkey or something or a chicken. Can I ask you something, mister? Yeah? Yeah, just by the way you look right now and the way your shirt is ruined. Were you buried alive? I was I was

It was terrifying. I gotta go. What do you want me to do with these coins? You toss me go? Why something? Shoo. Shoo. Shoo. Like the largest goose in the window? The one as big as me? Yeah. It's the one that killed my dad. Oh, one bite. Barrier. Guys, I'm so sorry. Chant, Yusador, Azure, Surillion, Can.

When you said Azure, Surillion, you made a general wave of your hand. Point to 12 boxes. Which one is which? What is my, let's start with me. You're the one that is. I think you know this Sansa from a to z Okay

You are an alpha that your Azure right and you're Suleon boom very good very good Maybe should we just accept that the lesson? I was supposed to I don't know at this point Maybe it'll have to do. But here's what I'll say. We may not be able to show you the future, and can may only be able to tell you about it and point at holes. But we may be covered in soup, and we so thirsty for soup.

But I think at the end of the day, we can't show you the future, but you can imagine the future. And you could look in a mirror at yourself. Just look at that man and decide, I should make a change. Yes. I'm talking about that man in that mirror. Just look at him, Nini.

Sometimes, if you want to be free, look into the mirror, see the mirror, Nini, Shaman, sometimes take your own life and think about your choices and for once, remember your life, because I'm looking at the Neenie in the mirror I'm asking him to make a change Neenie, I'm looking at the Neenie in the mirror If you want to make fun, a better place Take a look at yourself. And just make a change.

What do you see, Mimi? Is there anything you want to say? Well, you know what? I see a guy that probably should change some things in his life but I also see a guy that I really like but great that's that's that's okay that's good. I mean you guys seem really invested in changing successful businessmen, but is it possible that you are the ones that have been wrong this whole time? I mean, if these successful businessmen were so successful...

Ugh. Ugh. What a terrible and banal and evil and easy definition of the word success. Nini. So yes, they might have gold, they might have tassily hats in which to sleep, they might have drapes around their bed in addition to drapes in front of their windows which is honestly too many drapes. But do they have love. Actually, do they have love?

Actually. We know what success is supposed to be. But do they have love? Actually, it's actually X2. X2 really is all around us. Yes, it is. Be the best X2 inside of you! Learn from Hugh Jackman!

Arnie, I don't think I've ever had the courage to say this before, but I X2 you. Oh. X2 Brutay. What the fuck? Fuck you. Oh. X2 Brute. What the fuck you fucking fuck. For too long now, your life has been blighted. Learn those lessons from X-Men United. Consider your life and all you possess and don't let that be your measure of success

Love, actually, is there a part inside your heart? That does need a switch, then bear down hard Like a juggernaut bitch! Do you have love? Actually, do you have love? Do you have love? Actually. Do you have love? Do you have love? Do you have love? Actually. Well, you said I'll fireworks, aren't you?

Like you do believe. And don't forget, you are a father. You're a Pawnee-nee. You gotta have love. Love. love actually. X2 Brute, I'll get in on that arm. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do that made complete chronological and literal sense. Good. We'll take it and let's leave before there are any cracks in this brother. Goodbye, Grace Boutigas. Goodbye, Grig!

Goodbye, Chant, and Goodbye, and Heaney. Brother, here I come onto your shoulders. Whoah! Our trench go to Pornas. Whoa. Line Salat. Let us sing our Exant song. Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye. Son song! B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b wonderful beasts, how fortunate and blessed we were to have them in our lives on this glorious

agbum. I mean, I guess while they were here, we should ask them to help us defeat the void or the dark lore. Any of the kind of important stuff, you know. Shit, shit, shit. But you're less of a greedy bastard. Yeah, it's true. I'm glad that that character trait of mine that just kind of swooped in, swooped out

just as quickly. Just like the Chris must spear it. Yeah. Well guys, you know what, I love you. Well, we love you too, Arnold. Actually, we do. Yeah. Have a very happy holiday.

You as well. Happy bronzer. Let's see some bronzer. And happy on it, everybody. Oh yeah! Oh, pizza skull! We never talk about how many people are usually just hovering over us in the tavern. Anyway, can't get the fuck away from me while he's standing there.

Could you determine who sings all the time and who either panics or tries to speak sing or rather addle their way out of trouble? Usurdo the Wizard was played by Matt Young, Chant the Talking Badger was played by Adel Rafaia. The two remaining great blue tigers were played by Jessica McKenna and Zach Reno from the Irwolf Podcast Off Book, the improvised musical. They improvised a full musical each week. Look for their new book, Safe and Friendly Raps for the Workplace on shelves in time for Christmas.

Including such pieces as, Hitting reply, All makes me cry, y'all. And the meeting, the meeting. My private time is fleeting, my heart is beating, the new CEO, I'm greeting, life depleting, at the meeting, and others. Lonesolot, the musical accompanist, was played by Greg Smith. Tom the actor was played by Steve Walteam.

I know you don't have the copy there in front of you, but after a decade of friendship, Arnie still doesn't know how to spell Steve's last name. There's some gift of the Magi-Ironic tragedy for you. Special thanks to Josh Richmond. Hello from the Magic Taven is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Ryan DeGeorgie and Evan Jacover. This episode edited by Garrett Schultz. We're taking next Monday off because it's New Year's Day when all the clocks in the space bunker become sentient and I have to fight them off, as usual. So, no episode next week while I battle for my life, but we'll be back

the week after that. I plan to use the downtime to finally rectify Steamboat Captain Craig, but in the meantime, take it away, Cap. Well, thank you kindly, Professor. As always, the Magic Tavern theme music is by Andy Poland, logo by Alan LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz. If you happen to get one of those steam-powered Amazon Echo contraptions under your Christmas tree, don't forget to check out Magic Tavern Adventure. It's an interactive episode of the podcast designed specifically for the Echo, where you get to choose what happens to our favorite rabble rousers.

Visit us at aloefromthemagictavern.com or on Facebook or Twitter, thanks for the Chicago podcast co-op, and happy holidays from Ear Wolf.