Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 77 - Just Todd (w/ Travis McElroy, Live from Indianapolis)

Episode Date: September 17, 2018

We’re back in the Vermillion Minotaur and excited to catch up with Chest Trünkborn, the mimic. CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungChest Trünkborn: Travis McElroyDory the Dragon: Erika IshiiCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Tim JoyceTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzPhotography by: Kyle TelechanSpecial Thanks: Troy Babbs, and to the Schrott Center including Brian, Bram, Kelsey, Sheila and many more.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Ah, hi, Emperor Craig here. You ever get the feeling one of your underlings is plotting against you? I haven't, but I've also never had underlings before. And I haven't seen the mysterious minion all week. And it's lonely at the top, you guys. Well, better get to the show. Uh, oh, you should know that the guest on this one plays both a talking box and the person carrying that box.

So just imagine that in your head might help out. There's going to be pictures of this on the website, actually, hello from MagicTabern.com, so go there and check it out for yourself. Enjoy the show live from GenCon 2018. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the Magic Land of Foon. I'm your host, Mayor Arnie Neekham. If you've never listened to the podcast before, weird. It's a lot. But that's okay. This is everything you need to know. About three and a half years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of food. Luckily, I'm still getting a little bit of a Wi-Fi

signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that. It gets more complicated than that, but I don't need to describe, I don't need to explain Wi-Fi, nor could I. I only need to explain Wi-Fi, nor could I. But I use that to upload a podcast. I record every week here in the tavern, the Vermilion Minotaur. Woo! Woo! Woo!

Where we all are now. Yeah! In the town of Hogs face. You know what, I forgot that the Vermillion Minotaur has an upper balcony. You know, sometimes over time you think you know a place so well. You're gone for a couple of months and you're like, oh yeah, that place has an upper balcony.

How did I forget about that? Anyway, I am joined as always by my good bud, my co-host, my co-manor of Hogsface. Jump the talking badger! Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah, baby, indeed. It sounds so stilted when you say it. Oh, yeah, baby. I'm just appropriating your slang and using it myself. Oh, yeah, baby. It's like I'm just just think of me as like a

John Tess on an entertainment tonight like when a piece of slang makes it all the way to entertainment tonight Which I'm sure John Tess is still the host of entertainment tonight shouldn't there be entertainment every night? Why just the one night I'm going to take my every night. You take the one night. It. You know what? As I was making that noise, I was really calculating whether it was worth going down that road and it's not.

I love you, bud. How you doing? You're in a hole, right? Still in a little bit. Already. That's how I absorb beer again. I told you that before. Oh man, it is so good to be back at the DM. It's so good to be back at the DM.

It's for back in me. Oh my gosh. The ruffled feather sucks, right? Look, this look, it's just us, right? It's just regular here at the Vermilion Minotaur. None of those ruffaloes at the ruffled feather. I wouldn't say it to them directly, but they're... they suck. Yeah, it's a real bad crowd. Like, do you ever meet

back man? Bad man? Bad man? Bad man. Oh, bad man. Oh, I'm sorry. That would be... I was thinking a bad man who I have... It's you on the nose. Oh, there's a bad man? There's a, man. Oh, I'm sorry. That would be, I was thinking of bad man who I have to. It's too on the nose. Oh, there's a bad man. There's a bad man. It's bad man.

Oh, I don't want to talk about it unless I have to in a court of law. Bag man is a man who, once a year, uses a bag to capture children which are never seen again. Oh, no. We're pretty used to it. I feel like his nickname should go beyond just mentioning the bag. Nobody knew it's a calm, so we just called them bagmen. I feel like if he came twice a year,

then we'd be like, oh, that's a, that's a Zach. Or like that's, you know. But once a year, you're a, that's a Zach or like that's, you know, but once a year you're like, Batman. You know, like when you see someone with a nose person, you're like, you know, the person with the nose piercing. That becomes the descriptor. Okay, crowning. I'll take crowning.

You know what, I have noticed you started wearing your King of the Badgers, a crown and camera. Badger, King of the Badger. wearing your King of the Badgers crown and camera. Badger, King of the Badger. I'm King of the Badger. I am the King of myself. I am my only subject. And you know what? I just wanted to own it a little bit more.

I've been real D in the D, rolled down in the dumps. Oh, that could have gone a lot of ways. Roll down in the dumps and I just felt like I wanted a little kuturmon to make me feel good to be living my best life. I get it. Sometimes you need to put on a pink polo to make yourself feel pretty. That used to be white.

I know. It's true. It's been through a lot. You're almost like a flamingo. Have you been eating krill? It's been through a lot. You're almost like a flamingo. Have you been eating krill? It's possible. I'm not, I didn't entirely identify what I had for dinner. Okay.

Could have been krill. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's so good to be back though. This table. It's so good. This table. This table.

This table. This table. Oh. I will say the one thing that I loved about the ruffled feather that we decided to bring here was these three plants. I can't believe we snuck off in the night with them and nobody noticed. Oh, you know what though? We should make this even better. That was a great segue. We should make this even better.

We're repeating? Uh... If it's so great, did you have to say it again? You know what? Let's make this even better. With my other good bud and co-host and co-mayor of Hogsface, use it or the wizard! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Wizard of the 12th Rail of Mugafisius, Master of Light and Shadow, Minipulator of Magical Lights,

Devourer of Chaos. Oh! Champion of the Great Holes of Tardakis, the elves Numi is Fying, Yolk, the dwarves Nomi is Zonen and Huksangis, and I am known in the North East as Gaspon, Weneas, Mastar, and there may be other secret names. Names I, names so terrible that if they were utter aloud Most assuredly your teeth would become your mortal enemies Dig straight up into your gums

Infect your brain build a series of condominiums there Raise the prices in your brain so high You would think that he teeth would be no longer... I would think that teeth would be grandfathered into your mouth. They don't have a set price. I fucked your flow. I fucked your flow, I'm sorry. Well, the teeth would build the condominiums in your brain, not in your mouth. And then in your brain, they'd make the price

of so high you couldn't be in your brain anymore. That's what I was going to say. You couldn't be in your brain anymore. Like the prices in your brain at so high you yourself could not be in your own brain. Exactly. You would be ev be in your own brain? Exactly. You would be evicted from your very brain. So utter not these names, lest you wish to see an eviction notice posted on the side of your face.

Arnie, that's like you were saying on Earth, that's like San Francisco? Yes. You said that the prices were bonkers? The prices are bonkers and you could be convicted from your own brain. You sir, can I ask you something? Of course. And I asked this as a friend. I just want you to be honest with me.

Of course. Every time you join us at the table, you have your sword out. But I don't think I've ever seen you use your sword What are you doing right before you join us? That you're putting your sword away. Well usually right before the show starts I smite a demon Damn pretty good. That is good. Arnie and I had a side bet that you were circumcising I mean there are a couple bristles. I mean, it's not always a demon. Sometimes there's a brist, sometimes there's a ghost, sometimes it's surgery.

Do I ever told you that I do some surgeries on the side? No. No. Oh, yes. I'll remove anything you want. You don't even have to have a reason. But you use your sword and not magic? Oh, I use my sword and magic.

Oh. Swagic. Swagic. Or Mord. Swagic? What did I say? Swagic. Then let's go with that.

All right. Sounds like someone got evicted from their own brain. But Yuzudor, we're back in the tab. We're back in the tab. I am so. I am tab. I am so. I am so. And Yuzidore, Yuzidore, I were coming up with a phrase, if we ever came back, we thought that it might be apropos to start saying, when you're here, you're Arnie.

Yeah. I am so relieved to be back, especially because, the other ruffaloes at the ruffled feather, they could be very tricky and they often tried to pass their confidence schemes over on Arnold, and I was afraid that Arnold would lose everything that he possesses in this world, which isn't much. It's Arnie. And if they ever did this, they would certainly come to me and say, oh, do you see that fool over there in the pink shirt? He thinks he's a ruffalo, but he's a real mark, a real mark ruffalo. And I don't want you to be a mark ruffalo.

I don't know. It's kind of nice. It's not the worst. Speaking of that, are your kids all right? What? It's not worth it. Are the kids all right? Are the kids all right Are the kids alright?

You can count on me. My hair is stuck in my sword. Guys, we're back in the familiar minute, or it's all back home. We're back home. It's all the old regulars, like another chunt. Oh yeah. And uh, wait, there's another chunt here. I think so. Yeah, in fact no third chunt. Oh yeah. I forgot about Twenth and Front. Did I ever tell you about Twenth? I got

to be real careful when I say that. Yes. Did I ever tell you about Twenth and Thranth. They're cousins. They're cousins. Yeah, they're shapeshifters who are cousins. And they like my style that they pursue the same look. Although they will not be under my reign, which is why I'm still just King of the Badger. I see. I love having Third Chant right after 11z.

How do you feel about Tussador? Well, I, he's like, you're crowned. You'll majesty. I'm going to give you a little bit of a little bit of a littlenie Lyes, he starts, he's like a chicken where he starts. He's like, you know? You're crowned, you're majesty. Here, as the only subjects, I'm okay with it. No, no, I shall go upon a great quest. I, fear not, you're majesty.

I shall retrieve your crown. And there anyone dares oppose me trust me They shall feel the full wrath of you so no oh low. They would regret air coming across my path For I would destroy them with butter flicker bite there. It's back It's always It's always nice to give him something to do. Exactly. So it doesn't feel like he's spinning his wheels. You gotta give him little, accomplishable goals.

I start to drop shit just to be like, whoopsies, and he's like, let me go on a great quest to get it. I'm like, yeah, the two-foot quest. Yeah. It just makes him feel good. Exactly. And now, forevermore, the King of the Badgers shall be indebted to you, Sador.

That's fine. Yeah. What am I ever going to have to do? Yeah, when are you ever going to really have to do something? Yeah. Do you know what, though? I think we should get caught up with some of the people we've missed here. Oh, yeah.

Because I've missed being here. And I want to catch up with everyone and see what they've been up to. Yeah, it's been so long we've been gone from the Vermilion Minotaur the chest Chest chest chest chest is usually he's O is right here right here. He's usually right here Wow look at you. Whoa Hello chest. Hello chest. Hey chest. Hey man. How's it going good? That's the first time that chess is sat on the chair with us. Yeah, holy crap. Hi everybody. How's it going? Oh? I'm sorry. We're talking to chest. Oh, yes, of course. Wait wait wait wait wait wait. Who's that? Yeah, I'm Todd

Hi Todd Todd. Yeah, man Todd is, I can't really move around all that well. So Todd kind of gives me a lift wherever I need to go. Yeah, don't mind me. Don't worry about it. Understood. We shall not address Todd anymore. Yes. That would be, listen, I'm just Todd.

Don't worry about me. I'll just be back here. You guys go on with your little show and don't worry about me. Just Todd. Todd, real quick, one little show seems to be needed. We're mediums small. Okay. We're mediums small. They'll end with a very important big man show. And also, are you handling Eagles later? Well, as you know, Chest is very sticky. Yeah, man, we're all gonna just dig it. And if I were to touch Chest, he would, of course, instinctually consume me. Oh, and so these magical lies protect me from that.

As everyone knows, Chest is a mimic. Yeah, man. You only just chooses to be in this shape, and he's very sticky, so when people are like, I'm gonna get the treasure out of this chest. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I the whole course of the show, don't make sure you don't touch me here in front of all these people. Because it was sure it would be hard to retcon that. Man, I forgot how volatile Chessis, also how adorable his gloves are. Those little mitties.

Oh, these? These old things? Yeah. Yeah, man, I was out playing in the mud before just making some things. And then I was kind of going around and glad hey and then all the the patrons here The millennia minotaur trying to get you know some things going some momentum going on my career I mean I'm a reader. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah, you guys have been gone. So

Since I did the show last and I started working on that you might be a mimic thing It kind of took off. Oh damn congrats Yes, I've been doing the circuit. I'd love to hear your most Contemporary you might be a mimic material if you have adorable child mittens on you might be a mimic If your teeth are made a cardboard You might be a mimic. It goes on like that. Yeah.

So we're going to, I'm safe from my best material for the paying crowds. Look. Some stereotypes are true. What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Harding? I'm sorry. What the fuck is that? I was just...

I was just... You been back in this fucking place for like two minutes. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah? Um, would it appease Chess if Ornie got something out of him? It might be close. I might need to grab a for you what he in the mood for. What do you need? What do I need? I mean, what do you need? It's a little cold, so... Let me see what we've got. Okay, Chess, I'm sorry. Now, we're out of here.

Be careful, Todd. Oh, Todd. Woo! Woo! Mother fuck! Mother fuck. Got about your size, man. It's Arnold's teenage mutant ninja turtle, Michael Angelo

Hoodie, that we lost so dramatically returning here to the Vermilon Minotaur. Mm-hmm. Remember that? We lost it so dramatically. Of course I do because it happened to me. Yes, it's all. It's already all happened to us.

Now do be careful, man, because I've been adjusting that for the- Everyone, stop! No, I got it. No, stop. There you go. He dropped your- Oh. Wow. I- Glad I could help. Just me, stop. Here you go, he dropped your... Oh.

Wow, I... Glad I could help. Just me, Todd. Can I... Don't worry about Todd. Oh, no. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. I just here to help.

Yeah, man. Huttle, huddle, huddle, huddle, huddle, huddle, huddle, huddle. Can I be honest? Yes. Meet an unertaable, unertaable, unertaable. Oh, god damn it. Hey, Jess, we can huddle too. Can I say? I think God honest. Yes. Me to unordered table, unordered table, unordered table. Oh, God damn it. Hey, Chast, we can idle too. You're poor, man. You're right, you say?

I think God is fucking awesome. I was gonna go out of quest to get that. I know, but Todd grabbed my crown and gave it to me for nothing. You know, I was not dead into him. There was no sort of like, there was no pomp and circumstance. Yeah. Look, Todd just sees a problem.

He solves it and he gets things done. Hi, everybody. Are you having a good time tonight? Anything I can do to help anyone out? Well, he may. Okay. We'll talk to each one of you after the show. Well, he may have picked up your crown

and put it back on your head, but it's still split in half. Oh, would you like me to pick that for you? Uh, yeah, Todd. Oh, okay. Man. Oh, would you like me to pick that for you? Uh, yeah, Todd. Oh, okay. Man. He's...how's your day?

Pretty good. No one's asking that forever. Okay, there you go. Horns. Horns. Oh, thank you, Todd. Oh! That feels good.

I mean, admittedly, your gloves do have a little bit of mimic a stink on them, but. That's okay, it's actually very good for the pours. Oh. Mimics stick. The pours on my shirt have been getting. Yeah. And I'm just gonna water this plant real quick. And he does object work so well.

Anyways, man, never about Todd, let's talk about me. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not sure. I did come all this way from over there. It's true. That's a long way for you. You guys see the back man was here? The back? Yes. Yeah. The back man.

Arnaud, she's telling you about him. Yeah. You all talk to him? Is the back man here? Well, he's having a really rough time. Oh. Oh, yeah. I mean, no one knows what it's like to be the back man. Yeah, do you all talk to him? Is it Batman here? Well, he's having a really rough time.

Oh, oh, yeah. No one knows what it's like to be the Batman. Yeah. Yeah. He's really struggling right now, and he can really look and just like, behind blue eyes, he's so sad. Arnie, he has, the Batman has the bluest eye.

Let's not forget those are not his eyes. That's most children, but not in a good way. Yeah Chess I'm so sorry that we've been away for so long. It feels like forever since we've seen you What have you been up to in the Vermilion Minotaur? Well mostly managers have been working on my impressions Oh You know I figured as a mimic I could kind of get all that shit together I've kind of become a bit of an impression master.

Oh, can we see someone? Yeah, name someone for me. Arnie. Okay. Herm Arnie, bruh, bruh, bruh! Holy shit, who's talking right now? That was very cool. Was that you?

That wasn't me, I don't sound anything like that. You sound a little bit like that. You sound just. No, I don't. How long do you think I'm doing? You sound a little bit like that. No, I don't. Here give me someone else, man. Well, uh, do an impression of a chunt. I'm chunt. Welcome everyone. I am King of the Badgers.

I have such a... Yes. Chunt, it's me, chunt. I'm proud of you. Oh, no, man, it's just me, chest. I'm not really proud of you. Oh, thank God I was going to say for a minute I felt real good. That was a very good chunt, but it could have been twentour thront, too.

It's true. Look, chunt. All this time, I'm going to say, I think God I was gonna say for a minute I felt real good. That was a very good chunt, but it could have been twentour thront too. It's true. Look, chunt, all this time have you been looking from validation from your harshest critic yourself? I mean, I feel like you're my harshest critic.

Yeah, but I do it in a much more passive aggressive way. That's true, that's true. You gotta love yourself, you gotta enjoy yourself. Look, I laugh at all my aggressive way. That's true, that's true. You gotta love yourself, you gotta enjoy yourself. Look, I laugh at all my own jokes. That's true. Hey, John, I just wanted to say I know we just mad, but I'm very proud of you. I feel like you're doing a great job.

Guys, guys, guys, guys, can I be honest? Yes. I think Todd's my best fucking friend. You think Todd is your best friend? What about Tussardor? Tussardor's, well, Tussussler is my boyfriend, but let me, Todd, let me get to know him a bit. All right.

What do you, yeah, what's your favorite food? My favorite food? Well, that's hard to pick. I would say maybe spice potatoes, but you know at this point, actually, it was a big fan of your restaurant before it shut down. And so if you could bring that back, that was kind of my favorite deli. Hard out on time. Hard out, he loves Tuchu's cell.

Yeah, I really like Todd. Kind of like Tuchu's cell. Todd, did you like the Foxface or the pickled Herring feet? You know, I will say what I actually loved with the twaffles. Oh, yes. The twaffles every Sunday from 11 a.m. to 1 a.m. You could get twaffles.

Twaffles and wicken, and it was the best. Oh, thank you very much. I was very proud of that. I told you you shouldn't have given those herring feet. Nobody was eating it. Why? Todd, what's your favorite song in tune? Um, you know, I like all of them. Todd is so interesting. I love Todd.

Listen, I don't worry about me. Just back to Owl. Thanks, man. It's so good to be back. Hey, Todd, yes, yes? Hey, could you shut the fuck up? Wait, who's Travis? Wait, watch. Wait, who's Travis? You, yes, yes? Hey, could you shut the fuck up? Wait, who's Travis? Wait, watch. Wait, who's Travis? You said yes, Travis? Oh, sorry, that's a nickname I got for Todd when he's being a real dumb shit.

You said, Oh, when I'm like, oh man, you're being a real Travis. And I'm Arnie. It's a great name. It should have been obvious who's Travis, because Chess and Todd have such distinct voices. Yes.

Hey, man. There's no way to mistake those two voices. And it's not at all confused by the fact that, look, Chess, yeah, I can tell that Todd is really into you, because whenever you talk, he's so invested in what you say, he moves his lips, too. Ooh, I was. We've kind of been doing a reverse ventriloquism thing,

where I make Todd talk when I talk. It's magical. Why don't you don't worry about it. Why don't you make chess drink and Todd talks? All right, hi, it's me, Todd. And holy shit. I like all the songs and is that good? That was amazing.

Okay, I'm kinda, I don't really like all this attention. Oh, yes it says so. So I'm just gonna step back here and let Chess kinda take, oh man. Of course. Hey, I have a question for Chess actually. Chess, what kind of a cut is Todd getting? What? What kind of a cut from all your newfound theme? Oh, I don't pay toddies in intern. Oh, I'm I'm I'm signing on for that. I don't know. I don't know. Uh, uh, Chess, I have a question for you.

Yeah. How many fingers am I holding up? So trick question, Ori. All of the fingers you're holding up, or the fingers you're holding up. Damn, he's good. He got you there. He got you there.

Hey, I just, I didn't want to stand back there anymore, so I'm just going to walk up here. Please ignore me. Don't worry about it. Please, Travis, do you want to have a seat? Please Travis, that's my next room. Excuse me. That's my next room.

Excuse me. Oh, I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me.

I thought it was a term for me. First stereotypes and how this? I thought it was a term for me. First stereotypes and how this? I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me. I thought it was a term for me. First stereotypes and how this? I thought it was a term. I will say. Okay, I'm sorry Todd. I won't call you for that. Please, Travis, can you think of anything worse to call someone?

Um, Chester. No, that wasn't an invitation for any. Oh, sorry. Chester, I have another question to you. We've been calling for so long. Is there any good, juicy gossip? We've missed since we've been away. Ooh, what's the hot guy? Oh does know Todd. Yeah. Yeah. He's just do right. Oh, yeah, man.

Todd eats for it. Todd eats for it's like for for for I don't eat fights. Oh, I don't. But yeah, man, it's okay. One time. One time I ate farts, I'm sure, yes. I did do that. What's it for sustenance? How was it prepared? It was lightly fried. Let's see, other juicy gossip. You know the unmarried widow?

Yeah, the unwood widow, yes. Unwad widow. She got married again? Oh, congratulations. That's a little bit. A little married, uh, widow. Yeah, the unwed widow. Yes. Wendell Widow. Uh, she got married again. Oh, congratulations. That's a lemonade. He died. Oh, okay.

I was going to say, because I would have eliminated a lot of her name. No, yeah. If anything, now she's the unwed, wed, widow widow. Oh. It was sad, but she seemed fine with it. That's good. She, it kind of presented some closure for her. Yeah. Cause he sucked. And I was like, he died and, it kind of presented some closure for her, if anything. Yeah, because he sucked.

You know, so I was like, he died and we all kind of went, oh, good. Oh, you know. What if you think about it? You're an unwed widow and you say, oh, this terrible tragic thing has happened to me. And then you get married again and it happens again, you just go, I guess that's what I am.

Yeah, it's a little bit of like the scorpion, the frog kind of thing like I'm the scorpion, what do you expect? Right No, I'm always gonna be on the on wedwito. She gets married again She knows what's gonna happen. Yeah, hopefully this much She just kind of lives with someone for a while and see how that goes. Yeah, aren't you know the story of the scorpion in the frog? I I mean there's I guess there's a story like that on earth, but what's the story on earth? Well, there's a scorpion and a frog. And you know what, they're really interested in each other, but they're just not sure what other people will think.

He's doing a chicken thing. Uh-huh. I am going to go on a quest. I am going to go on a quest. There you go. Oh, thanks, thanks, Todd. Happy to help. Todd, can I ask you?

I'll be at the bar. Thanks Todd. Happy to help. Todd, can I ask you? I'll be at the bar. Todd, you seem so good at getting things done. Could we send you off to defeat... Todd, could we send you off to defeat the Dark Lord? I mean, I would be happy to give it a try. Yes, it or. Good news. Todd's gonna go defeat the Dark Lord,

so you don't have to focus on that so much. Someone's finally getting it done. That's a quick question. After three years, we're doing it! Quick question, just clarify. Is there anything I specifically need to defeat him at? Could I beat him at anything. Yeah.

I could define that as a thing. I think we're making assumptions because you said or uses smite and smoke so frequently. Yeah. Maybe it's just beating him at anything. Yeah. I could define that as a thing.

I think we're making assumptions because you said or use smite and smoke so frequently. Yeah. Maybe it's just beating him at anything. Yeah. I could define that as a thing you said or uses smite and smoke so frequently. Yeah Maybe it's just beating him at anything. Yeah, I could defeat him at a lot of things best at Todd Yeah, unless oh unless the dark Lord is a Todd you shouldn't say his name out loud. Oh There are so many names. I'm not supposed to say. Have you ever thought about just not talking? Whoa!

What just came over me! Honestly! I've never loved Todd more. I feel like Todd gets me. I don't know, cool at Travis. Oh! Yousadore! From what I understand from what you've mentioned about Earth, yousador is really Charlie Browning it.

Yeah. Yousador, are you a little hungry? We see, I've got, would you like breakfast bar? No. What about some whiskey? It's... some whiskey. It's... Oh, that's a...

This is a single-cast nation, stone of stennis, 13 years old, and it appears to have, oh, look, right here, there's Arnie, Yusudor and Chant, right on the bottle. I feel like we should pay Todd. That's for you. Well, I want it back, but you can have a drink. Should I open it?

Yeah. It's just Sputtle. No, open. Are you asking me? Yes. Yeah, open. I guess you, buddy. Well, you should...

Well, you should open that bottle, Arnie. I should remind you that anyone can email me at any time at Are you asking me? Yeah, open, I guess. Is it you, buddy? Well, you should know, while you sir opens that bottle, Arnie, I should remind you that anyone can email me at any time at chont.ajmail.com, that's chont.w6t's, and at Gmail.com, and I might read their email. I mean, obviously this is for a future episode,

but if someone did it now, I might be able to read their email. That's right, I forgot your new favorite toast whenever you're about to have a drink, is to mention your email address. It just feels good. Well, also while he's working on opening that, what she already has, but you know what,

let's vamp. He's a wizard. You know what, we should, did you say let's vamp? Pfft. Pfft. Sorry, I don't want to establish the taught is gonna not myself,

it's gonna not have to be a vampire. That's just if we were pretending to vamp. That's what I was. Oh, OK. OK. I think Todd is a vampire. What? I mean, that was a really good save.

But I think there's nothing special about Todd. Just Todd. Don't mind me. But you know what is special we're so lucky that we sometimes have sponsors from FUN that help sponsor the podcast so I'm excited to bring one of our sponsors out. Mundo would you please play our sponsor music for Dory the Dragon. Hurry the dragon! Since time immemorial, I have protected my horde. A kingdom's ransom of gold coins, dazzling red rubies, glittering green emeralds. Adventures are always seeking my trove, solving my riddles and disarming my traps. But by my scales, No sword shall pierce my leathery hide, Nor spell belay my flight.

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Oh, sure, Chester. Yeah. Just clarifying that it's very full tonight here. And there aren't be some people up in the upper balcony that can't see. So there was just a dragon in here right, talking about cereal. Yeah. And then they laughed. Yeah. And then that's done. Yep. Okay. What a weird thing to do. Well that's how we pay for the show. With a dragon walking in the bar. Uh-huh. So a dragon walks into the bar. Well, well, hold on, a dragon with something to promote. Ah, of course.

And so now the dragon popped in for three seconds and now it's just like, bye. Well, clearly people are after their lucky treasures. Oh, I see. So they needed to make a balloon and fly away. Ah, maybe you should have helped by explaining how you explain to Chantanai. Uh-oh, that's right. I got it.

I want a great quest. There you go, buddy. Thank you. Oh, time. Should we get you some like pens or something? Um, probably. I've got tape and chest. Really?

Yeah. Oh, tape it to me head. Arnie, perhaps you should explain how sponsors work. You explained it to Chantanai a long time ago. Well, you know, the podcast can potentially make some money if people, why is it so hard to explain this? Oh, this stuff. Look, you know, people in food want to get word out about their product and...

Just a typical day in a... Vermillion Minotaur, a typical day Vermillion Minotaur. Todd is so handy. Todd's doing such a great job of taping that crown to your head. Just, I think you've done the right thing by hiring Todd. He's made, he's made your life better. He's made Chun's life better. Hey man, Todd's the best. Oh thank you.

Thank you so much everybody. Just happy to help. Just here to help. Nothing special about Todd. I feel like I should set this down. Oh, let me take care of the way. Oh thank you. I wanted Todd to do that, but I didn't want to directly ask. You can just ask, Arnie, I'm happy to help. Oh, let me take care of it. Oh, thank you. I wanted Todd to do that, but I didn't want to directly ask.

You can just ask, Arnie. I'm happy to help. Oh, of course. You mustn't take it just here to help, Arnie. We mustn't take advantage of Todd, though. If he feels abused or mistreated, then surely he'll go and find some other job, where he actually gets paid. Oh, Todd, do you have other aspirations

or things you'd like to do? Nope. Nope. Todd, I never mind. How do you have other aspirations or things you'd like to do? Nope. Todd, how do you supplement your income? I just don't worry about it and everything seems to be fine. It's a good way to live if you can. Yeah, nice work if you can get it. That's what I always say. Working hard and hardly working, you know what I mean?

Just Todd. Yes. Man, Todd is so safe. I love his jokes. They're so safe. Yeah. Oh, thank you very much. Yeah, man. We all stop laughing at Todd's jokes.

Maybe it's a little bit more. Like a mimic. Oh, you might. If you eat any traveler that touches you, you might be a mimic. What, I kind of trailed off. Just, just. I kind of trailed off. Yeah.

You know, it just hasn't. The joke flew a different way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahiled off. Yeah, you know, it just hasn't... The joke fluid just hasn't been there for a while. Oh, oh, no.

Yeah, I just feel like I'm doing the same thing over and over again and... Think about writing a book about existentialism. Oh, damn. Well, Chess, we had a pretty good set up for a joke earlier. Perhaps we could all take turns telling a dragon walks into a bar jokes. Oh yeah, man, that'd be great. Maybe they'll help get my juices flowing. Oh sure, you said, or why don't you go first?

Sure. Seven Wyverns walk into a bar. They go up to the bar tender and the bartender says, you look down, is everything all right? Can I get you anything? And they say, yes, it's been a rough day. We're kind of dragon. Like I was going to Pimpas into that without having one on the chamber. All right, I'll go next, man? I'll go next, but no, that I did not

pimple into this. Two magical dragons walk into a bar with the same name, it turns out. And there's a coach check at the bar, and the person running the coach check asked for their coats by saying puff, puff, give. Oh. Yeah, not as clean as drag on, but OK, you know, short form was never my thing. I'm clearly more of a long form, which like long form as in years and years is more my thing eventually We're gonna get to that punchline that aren't even working on for the last six years. It's true

I'm telling you all of this setup. Wait, you said that So A dragon walks into a bar and it's very it's very smoky and the dragon Oh, is that the punchline? It can be. You know what? No. So the dragon says I'd like a drink, and the bartender says, oh, I'm sorry about all this smoke. Oh, this smoke.

Look, I'm sorry that was a pop culture one from Earth, so I'm sure no one here gets that, but Earth people are, maybe, okay, with it. I've got one. Oh, yeah. Fire breathing. Is this just or Todd or Travis? This is, well, chess was written in my ear,

so I'm gonna do it for chess. I mean, thank you so much. You know, it's not a kind of joke, it's not a joke. Yes. I do know that. So, fire breathing winged lizard walks into a bar all Glammed up looking great dressed to the ninth sequinie dress big hair Wonderful makeup says to the bartender him here to perform and the bartender says drag on oh

What Timber says, drag on. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.vern. What? Right. Adults, you shouldn't be having red potion.

You little nasty ass boy. What you, you little nasty ass boy. Exactly, John. Let's not start it with that name. Let's not make that a thing. Look what Todd did for me. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm me. I'm glad I could help. I'm just like those famous birds in food

that keep drinking water. I'm excited. All birds? All birds that drink water. I'm just excited that now, chunk canonically, your crown is taped to your head. I'm just going to help you with that real quick, Arnie, if I could.

Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, oh. Yes. Oh, thank you, Chest, thank you, Todd. Hey, man, no problem, and just be clear, I did not ingest it. It's just there. Please don't go for it, Arnie, because I will eat you if you try for it.

Yes, Arnie, please don't get eaten. It would be a shame if you're in front of all these people. I had to eat you. Oh. I just know I don't want it to happen. I can tell you don't want to do it, but there's something in Todd's eyes. No.

Todd would never. It would just be a shame. If here in front of this live crowd I had to eat you. I would also like to thank both Chess and Todd for getting my hoodie on because this leg was cold. Oh, I'm sorry, did you need me to put the hoodie on for you? Oh, we do, we do. Oh, sure, yeah.

Well, yes. You said he used me my mic. You're not only used to the door said not to take advantage with Todd. No, that's fine. Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd just Todd, nothing special about Todd. Todd, that hoodie glided on like a dream. Well, thank you, Arnie, but nothing special here. Just Todd.

Just Todd. Just Todd. Probably a vampire. What? Definitely a vampire. Definitely not a vampire. You should or you were a vampire at one time for a short plot line? What do you think?

Is Todd a vampire? Let me sus him up. Hi. I don't. He doesn't appear to have pointy teeth. No. He is a... Maybe they've receded into his brain.

It's possible. Oh. He's not drinking blood right now. Nope. Todd say, bleh. Bleh. Who would have sounded a little vampire to me. But to be fair, I would challenge anyone to say bleh.

That not sound like a vampire. Arnie? Bleh. You know what? I tried and it did sound like a vampire. It still sounded a little vampire. It sounded like a disappointed vampire. Arnie? Blah. Well, you know what, I tried and it did sound. It still sounded a little vampire. It sounded like a disappointed vampire. Blah.

You also did it like you were hitting a key on a disappointed vampire could sound bored. I think I know how to say it. I think I know how to say it if you're not a vampire. Blah, blah, blah, blah. That actually still sounded like kind of a vampire. Like you're trying to pump up other vampires. That's true, that's true.

You sound like a party vampire. Really? Yeah. Hey man, let me try. Boy. Ooh. That's good. That's pretty good.

Although look at his teeth. Oh. Blare. That was intimidating, John. That chest. Oh man, do I gotta fire you? No, please don't. I don't want to lose my health insurance.

That's a damn fine question. Chest. Yeah. Is it possible for a mimic to become a vampire? That's a damn fine question. I would say yes, but only briefly, because then I could just, you know, not be a vampire anymore.

Oh. You wanna watch? Vampire! Not a vampire. Yeah Oh. You want to watch? Vampire, not a vampire. Yeah, that was terrifying. You want to watch me become some other things other than the chefs? Yes.

OK. Now I'm a box. Now I'm a crate. Now I'm a humidor. That's nice. Now I'm a foot locker. And I'm a humidor. Ooh. Oh, that's nice. Now I'm a footlocker. And I'm a chest again. Thank you very much.

I always like, even though he goes on a long journey to become other people, I always like when he comes back to the beginning to be... Be Our Chest be our chest be our one and only No, I just wanted to say I'm proud of you, John Thank you, Todd. I feel like I always try and start that was just oh, it's chest. I'm so sorry I can't you see my mouth moving yeah No, yeah, I'm so sorry chest. Thank you. I'm not proud of you anymore You fucked it up Now I

Got it. Oh great Now you're gonna have to duct tape those glasses on his face. I'm going to go on a quest. Damn, Todd looks good as a king. I'm just Josh and you can have him right back buddy. Are you Josh or Todd? Haha, good joke. I'm proud of you Josh. Josh Lee. Oh my my well holy shit Josh on Travis I

Think just paid fealty to me. Did you call me Josh? Who the fuck is John you said you were joshing around oh I see can we just go a joke John? I'm proud of you I see can we just go job John I'm proud of you Can we just get all this trying to support let's just get all the names out of our system Kevin Steven Derek Susan Linda Neil your shell Frank for sure. What what's it Frank for sure? Josh or me Frank for like a doctor. Yes. Doctor doctor. Doctor. That's a doctor. That's a doctor.

Simpson Wonderpants. Yep, we've covered all the names. That's it. Oh Billy Yum Yum 2x2. That's the one. Here's an email from Maria Haifner. Maria says, Hi, Chant, my fiance and I love the show. You are totally invited to our wedding, August 31st, 18. Maria from Michigan. 18 what? I don't know. 831, 18. August 31 August 31 18 what does that mean it could be military time

What's that the is that the year man is that like 31 18 what year is it where you come from you know? I'm not good at math But is that math? It's either 2017 2018 or 2019 on Earth right now. All right, man, I don't know if you're making a joke or if you honestly don't know. You know what? I don't know if I'm making a joke here.

Arnie, didn't you say Michigan is a state that looks like a hand? Yes, it does. All the states look like body parts. Oh. Native to the bottom ones. Details. Well, uh, okay.

Michigan looks like a hand. Ohio, where I'm originally from, looks like a heart. Florida looks like a dunger. Uh, Maine looks like a dunger. California kind of looks like a dung. California kind of looks like a donger. Is everything that's a butt? A lot of thought going into this. No individual state looks like a butt,

but Northean said, oh, New Jersey does. I don't know how New Jersey. How do you know about New Jersey? Well, I know how to Jersey? How do you know about New Jersey? Well, I've been to Old Jersey here in FUN, so I just assumed that maybe in your world, there was a newer version. Oh.

Yes, we only have Old Jersey here. We got a lot of old shit here. What's it like in Old Jersey? Old. A lot of reasons you just fallin' down. Yes, it was originally just called Jersey, and then it like in old Jersey? Old. A lot of people are just falling down. Yes. It was originally just called Jersey. And then it just got old. Yeah.

Over time, man. Things age. That should be a warning to you, aren't you? What? I'm starting to feel there's comedy juices flowing again. Maybe I'm an insult comic now. Oh, damn. Look, I know everything ages, but to you. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you.

I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you.

I'm not going to talk to you. I'm not going to talk to you. say it. You have to say it. My question by a Hogs face law. Am I, do I have to tell you if I'm a narc? Oh, if you are anything and somebody just straighted past you, you have to tell them. Yeah. Like, if I go to Todd and I go, are you a vampire? No.

Okay, so he's not a vampire. What? His eye is said yes. Which is not a sentence someone should ever say. I, sorry. I am not currently a vampire. Two for two, my man. Wait, what?

Guys! What? Let's parse this language. He said, I'm not currently a vampire. Todd did? Yeah. Orchest. But I think it was Todd.

I'm not currently a vampire. There are many things I'm not currently. Oh, I'm not a chair currently. I'm not a dog currently. I'm just saying here, in food things change. Don't worry about me. Nothing special about Todd. Which actually lines up perfectly with an email I have here from Sarah Cooper. Okay. Uh, the subject line is Todd, question mark. It's, it literally says, don't you think it's a little suspicious how Todd keeps saying there's nothing special about him? Nothing special about Todd.

You know what I'm saying? Just plain old, normal Todd. Todd, what's your favorite color? Beige. What's your favorite color? Bage. LAUGHTER Checks out. Checks out. If there's nothing special about him, his favorite color would be beige. Todd, favorite word?

OK. LAUGHTER What's your favorite thing to eat? That'll be broth. Hmm. LAUGHTER And also, I already asked him then. He said, food from Chuchu's town, but he might have been lying.

I liked the broth that Chuchu's show. Nice. Nice. Fine, smooth, clear broth. Todd, besides Josh and Travis, do you have any other nicknames? Just Todd. This all seems to check out. This seems to be nothing special about him at all.

Nothing special about Todd. Nothing hidden here. Just Todd. Nothing hidden here. Just Todd. It's weird how the more time someone says there's something, I think they're the opposite. Just Todd. I wouldn't worry about Todd anymore. Guys, I'm starting us here as Chess Sandler.

He's taught another mimic. No. Trying to blend it. He can just Todd. Just here as Chess Sandware. Is Todd another mimic? No. Trying to blend it. He can just stop. Nothing special. Todd. Uh-huh.

I have to ask you a question. Yes. Is there something about you that is special? Nope. Sham. Guys, under the table, under the table. I really thought I had him on a technicality on that last one.

Guys, can I be honest? I feel like Todd is one of my favorite people I've ever met, but I think he's a fucking vampire. And you said, or I know you said that before the show you smite demons, but I think you need to take out your sword and smite Todd. Look, just Todd. Now, they're gonna be smitten here.

Look, just Todd, do it his best. Try and help. I'm here helping Jess, because he don't got no legs. If you walk around, I did tape your hat. Shit, guys, maybe he's just boring. Just Todd. Either way, he has to die, or what? Not a vampire.

Not a minotaur. Not like some kind of elf, just Todd. I'm so conflicted, cause I sometimes they're just people. They're not cause I'm going to mystical being. They're just there. Look, just because something's momentarily boring doesn't mean that you kill them or unsubscribe. Lucky for you.

At least give them a good two or three episodes to get their group back. Todd, what if you don't like it, don't tag us. Todd, you decided to have you back two or three more times before we murder you. Hey, thank you so much. Let's put it on the record. You have three more appearances. Before we all 100% are gonna murder you.

Hey, I raise you to that. I like a goal before we decide one% are gonna murder. Hey, I appreciate that. I like a goal. Before we decide one way or the other. It's like a punch card. Yes. But I like it a bad way. Right. Will it be just a clarify on the fourth time or after the fourth time? I think on the fourth time.

On the end or at the beginning? I think are we looking at more like 3.1 or 3.8? Let's not pre-plan it. That was highly. Hey, man, he's gonna kill Todd. And Chess, Chess, you're always with him. Oh, shit, Chess. That's okay, I was just basking in the adoration

of the crowd. We, A. A. Damn, Chess has all the fans from his, you might be a mimic humor. It's true. Y'all fans of my humor All right, cuz I'm thinking about running for mayor and if you support my brand of humor Maybe you can bang me up in the next election Oh some of you seem to have not been on board with that

Much as I thought you were to maybe they're not ready for my kind of humor. Boy, what if I eat the banana? Oh. Cute. I wouldn't. That was a joke. Cute with a little male manata? You wouldn't dare eat him. When we dress him up at night in his little pajamas,

I'm talking, I only eat adventures to touch me. It's more of like an instinctual thing. I don't really hunt. I don't have legs as we previously discussed. So, a mess, the mayor banana come over and like, touches me, we're cool. I'm not gonna eat the banana. That's a campaign promise.

Can meet you. Just I have a question. You've been working so closely with Todd. Like, are you ever really tempted to try to eat Todd? Nah, man, I respect Todd. Both is my helper and like, as a kind of collaborator, is my manager at this point, and I think would taste so bland.

I got no, I appreciate that, Chess, thank you very much. I just got no interest in eating them, you know what I mean? I think he would taste beige. He's just like a manager who doesn't get a cut. Oh, she's just got another email about Todd. He says, how's that possible? Just go with it. Yes, let's start poking holes now.

Hold on. Now that I think about it, a lot of shit doesn't make sense. Chant, chant, read the email. No, I think, I think this is where we dissolve the podcast. I think this is our lesson. I'm just so happy to be here for when it all falls apart. Okay, this is an email from Brian Pearson. Brian Pearson says, but if Todd isn't special,

wouldn't that in and of itself be special? Oh, no. Not really. That in and of itself be special? Oh no. Not really. Sometimes emails say more about the writer. You know. He was what I'll say and I've always been told this. I'm kind of right at like the median person.

That's me right in the middle. Just Todd, not bad, not good, not interesting, not super boring. Just Todd, not a vampire? No, not yet, not yet. Things change and I don't wanna say I'm not forever a vampire because you know, there's magical shit everywhere. But no, I'm not a vampire now.

I'm also not a badger, nor am I a wizard, or am I many things. He's got us on all those counts. Yeah. Just Todd, nothing special. Wait a minute. Yeah? Todd, you've spoken circles around us all night. Are you a lawyer? Nope. Oh damn, I thought I had an accident. Just Todd. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Nothing special. Another question. He's so not special that it's impossible to have some kind of revelation that

propels us towards an ending. Wait, wait, wait, guys, have my hair put on my hair, and this is an email from Pamela Snenneth. She says, could Todd be the back man? Nope. Nope. Nope. No, he's not. All right.

Not going to give you a satisfying out, because that would be untodd-like. I think the only thing to do is to tell another dragon joke, fine. I mean, sure, that's one of you've been thinking of one. All right, I won't do it. No, please. No, no, it's all right.

Now I'm the asshole. No, you're not. I interrupted you. I'm sorry. Please continue. No, no, no, no. I was just saying what if Todd was the Pac-Man? But I thought the only thing to do is maybe we have Todd host the podcast.

Guys, some people in the tavern were a little too excited about that. Look, I feel like Todd could host a great podcast, dare I say many. I've been thinking about writing a book that might be available now. Oh, damn, I'm late. That's my essence. I've been thinking about writing a book that might be available already.

There's magic that could happen. Arnie, that's it. I think that's what we do. I think we out, we outboring Todd, and that's how we get rid of them. Good luck. T-Arnie, you have to be as boring as Todd. I don't think that you are, but you have to act. Can you do that? Not that someone in men's.

I met in a fun way. Right, right, I understood. You're my best friend. Can you, can you out-boring Todd? Let's have a boring off. All right. That will juice up the momentum to the end of the show. All right.

You know what I'm going to do. I can't understand why Todd needs to leave. All right, that's it. He seemed so cool up till now. It's a one winner take all boring off here. All right. I got to take off this super quirky hoodie that makes me really interested.

Awesome. Do you need some help, buddy? But our boring off needs a judge. Someone from the entertainment industry. What about chest? Oh, yeah, man, I'd love to. Perfect, you're the judge of this boring off. And you don't think that that's at all like biased?

I don't really care. Okay. Oh, I thought you were going to stand up there. Oh! I think they already started. Yeah. It's a tie. Arnie. Uh, go. Small talk, smart, small talk, small talk.

Oh, sure. Yeah, weather, weather, like talk about the weather. So, uh, yeah, man, Arnie wins. No, all right. No, no. By him saying, Arnie wins, that's him winning. Oh, um, well, you know what, maybe they don't. Why do there have to be any winners?

Yeah, look at good, good, good, good, good. I like the kind of games where no one wins, and everyone just had an experience. I know what I'm being. Or do you want, Or do you want? Oh! Oh! I thought I was the most not special person in food,

but I'm here to say, Arnie, you got me beat. I was so, I could say, one special thing about Todd, I'm more special than Arnie. Oh! I was so certain that Arnie was gonna tell that story about the time he fell through a portal. Yeah, Arnie, remember? And then turn it to a human calendar. Remember about, was it three and a half years ago? How long? I think so.

It's so easy to remember like closer to the year marks. I think so. I think so. It's so easy to remember like closer to the year marks. I'm still doing the competition guys. You're still winning. All right man, well I gotta go as nice stopping in. You guys want some free tickets to my next show or what? Oh, absolutely. I would.

Okay, we'll talk to talk about it later. And he'll hook you up, man. I'm going to go. You can find me. We can watch. Chest show. Well, two of you. Can we be chestbirds? Yeah. So I'm going to move on to the next man, but you give me a lot of great material from a new insult comedy show. And I really appreciate that. Glad to have to eat you. Just a joke. OK, bye. Goodbye, Chess.

I guess I have to go to pleasure meeting all three of you. Pleasure to meet you, Chaud. So have a great day. You too. There goes the love of my life. Oh, he's back. Oh, no. He just wanted that delicious, delicious whiskey. Guys, I think we're pretty good. Yeah. Three orcs walk into a bar. Ooh! A dragon is tending bar. Damn it.

The orcs ask for some absent. And the dragon says, Oh, I'm sorry, I cannot serve this to you. And they get angry. The ox say, why won't you serve it to us? Is it because you're a dragon? Is it because you're a dragon that you won't serve us? And the dragon becomes offended and says, no, it's not because I'm a dragon.

And the ox say, well, a worm would. That's... That's... As... As someone who had an absent father, that's pretty good. Ladies and gentlemen, that's our show. We are H.S.M.A.S. The Tavern! Oh, the Electric Energy of a Live Show! Chump The Talking Badger was played by Adelre Fy. Usador The Wizard was played by Matt Young.

Chess Trunkborn The Mimic was played by Travis McElroy. You can hear him on the podcast, my brother, my brother, and me, the adventure zone, and like a dozen other ones. Travis also played Todd, but there's nothing special about that. Dory the Dragon was played by Erica Ishi, follow her on Twitter at Erica Ishi, which is E-R-I-K-A-I-S-H-I-I, and check out her new podcast, Positive Atini,

that she started with Travis and Amy Dallin. Check out Positive Atini for messages of hope, support, and inspiration in 10 minutes or less. I need that right now. Hello from The Magic Tavern was produced by Arneneet Camp, Evan Jacoba and Ryan D. George He, this one edited by Tim Joyce, music by Andy Poland, logo by Allard LeBon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production assistance by Garrett Schultz. Visit us at aloefromthemagictavern.com and check out the book club page because you got

to get your copy of Pride and Prejudice. The guys are going to be reading it on the show soon, so you're going to want to read it along with them. Thanks for the Chicago podcast co-op and thanks to Ear Wolf. you