Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 2, Ep 90 - What Winter Solstice Means to Me (w/ Tawney Newsome, Symphony Sanders and More, Live from Chicago)

Episode Date: December 17, 2018

Activia Barleyfoot, Flower the talking flower, Jamilous the Mauve Wizard and more stop by to help celebrate the many holidays of Winter Solstice. CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungActivia Barleyfoot: Tawny NewsomeJamillious Washington the Mauve: Anthony LeBlancRhapsody Gunderheirre: Symphony SandersFlower: Brooke BreitBird People: Bird PeopleMysterious Man: Tim SniffenTricia: Kate JamesCraig: Ryan DiGiorgiProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Ryan DiGiorgi, Evan JacoverEditor: Garrett SchultzTheme Music: Andy PolandMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanAudio Assistance: Jason KnoxProduction Assistance: Garrett SchultzSpecial Thanks: Rose Amer, Tim Schoen, Brad Davis, and the rest of the staff and crew at Thalia Hall.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the country's most exclusive boarding school. Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex

collide in a game of life and death. Binge all 10 episodes of Academy, early and ad-free, on Wondery Plus. Trisha? In turn, I have to confide in you. I'm not sure if my holiday party is a hit. Yeah, you mean because nobody's here. If I can chime in, you activated the summoning pylon, but then you forgot to power down the energy casing. So a bunch of space angels tried to get in for the party and burned up on contact. I thought that smell was my pumpkin spice candle. No, that's incinerated space angel. Well, we always have the gift exchange. I know you are dying with anticipation to find your way out. I thought that smell was my pumpkin spice candle. No, that's incinerated space angel.

Well, we always have the gift exchange. I know you are dying with anticipation to find out who I got. You have me. Lies. Last week you said, how about we play a game where we all shout out our slipper size? Irrelevant, I love that game. And then you wrote down my size on a tablet marked Trisha gift information. Okay, you two should probably get back to the kitchen to keep those snacks warm.

Yes, we wouldn't want no one going hungry. I'll queue up the transmission. Oh, and remember, this one was recorded live at Talia Hall in Chicago, so there's gonna be lots of referring to stuff that nobody can actually see. Just another way we found to punish the dedicated. And now enjoy the show.

Hello from the Magic Davern. A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host, Arnie Neacamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, that's okay. It's the holidays. But just in case, here's a little holiday gift for me to you. About three years and three-fourths years ago, I fell through a dimensional port.

Oh my God, there are. I have seen a lot of things, but I almost never look in the balcony boxes in the Vermilion Minotaur, where we all are now. There are so many. Well, I'll let it be a surprise for my other friends and Just to annoy any listeners at home I'm very excited that you're all here as it's very busy in the tavern tonight We get a share of the winter solstice with each other. They're so There's so many holidays to celebrate this time of year in in Fune. I hardly know most of them But I'm excited. We've got a wizard and a warrior and I think maybe a pirate or a buck in the year and just sitting very close to the table We've got all that over there

It's a winter solstice miracle But thank you so much for being here for winter solstice miracle. But thank you so much for being here for winter solstice, you know, on my world, which none of you know that much about. It's coming up on Christmas time, which happens either right after Thanksgiving or midway through October, where that's where it all starts on my world. But, you know, I'm excited to learn more about the holidays in your world, and the first person I want to hear more from is

my good bud, the King of the Badger, Shunt the Talking Badger. Oh, yeah, baby, the fuck. I know, right? Shit, Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, Arnd Arndog Arndog A-Train. Yes, no not a train, but so It's a rogue's gallery of my exes. Oh No We got the hawk we got an owl and then the rest of them Oh snow snowbong. Is it embarrassing when you're getting intimate with a hawk and you accidentally call them an owl?

Like you're thinking of one of your other ex. Oh yeah, I was intimate with a hawk and I called it an owl and it went, who? And I said, you're doing it to yourself, my man. How you doing? I love you, buddy. I love you too. Happy, happy. I mean, I don't even know what to say.

Happy holidays. Happy holidays. Happy Christmas. Yeah. The, the, the, the, that's about it. No, we got, we have a whole. What is your favorite holiday of the Winter Solstice in Foon?

Let me put some stuff down. You are holding so many things. A drink, a scepter, a microphone. I like that you're committed to it some stuff to you are holding so many things a drink a scepter a microphone I like that you're committed to it and you're like I'm holding too many things but I'm going to carry the scepter yeah it looks good looks good on me my favorite holiday is actually a holiday that my fiance to Siddore and I came up with so we invented this we were just kind of laying in my hobble board and we invented this new holiday. Do you want to hear about it?

Yes, I will tell you So this is called the tiny handband dance It's a new little holiday the tiny handband dance. Oh God So here's how here's how it works. You put out your hand, put out your hand. I have big hands. I don't have tiny hands. Well, we'll make it work, put out your hand.

I feel like the dance is tiny, Arnie, the dance is tiny. I feel like I'm being pulled into a horrible prank. So lay it flat. So what I do now is I put two fingers on your palm to make a tiny tiny little man tiny little hand Little things. Oh And there's a little song that goes with it which is there's a tiny hand man dancing on my hand There's a tiny hand man dancing on my hand. Who's that tiny hand man dancing on my hand? Do the splits It's a fun little

thing. Oh you like that? That's the second creepiest thing I've seen today. I love that the eagle is so committed to looking like a bird. If my ex the eagle doesn't do that the whole show, I will be wildly disappointed. Well, you know, if the eagle is looking directly at us, it can't see anything, it has to turn to both sides. And also, my ex the eagle, it also has a bit of a man body, so I call him Eagle Man. He's a bit of a man body, so I call him Eagleman. He's a bit of a local hero.

Oh. Speaking of local heroes, it wouldn't be winter solstice without our wizard bud. No. I'm not talking about Tussador. Oh. I am talking about Tussador, the wizard. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Tussador. Oh. Tussador. I am talking about Yousador the Wizard. The Wizard, we're about the 12th realm of Ephesians, Master of Light and Shadow, Minipulator of Magical Light, the power of chaos, the oil of birds. The Ovesnome is Fyingyallek. The Dves know me as sonan and hood sengis. And I am known in North East as gasmoneas me star. And there may be other secret names, names so

festive that if uttered aloud, why jingle bells would pop out of vineberry skull? Rattle and rattle until your brain was mush. Spaghetti. I still don't understand that. Hello. Do you want to ask me about a Gucidor? No, no, I will. I will grant you one winter solstice wish.

Whoa. I'm going to save it for something better than that. I will grant you one winter solstice wish. Whoa. I'm gonna save it for something better than that. People went closure. Fine, what does Spaghetti mean? It don't mean nothing. I just started saying it and I was like, he's gonna ask me some day and then you just never did. Just never did. Just never did.

It's almost as if I knew how unsatisfying the answer would be. Damn, y'all, let's be, let's be forgiving. I'm very sorry, it's the winter solstice. It's the winter solstice, all right? We should be celebrating the holidays. Of course, my new favorite holidays. Seven Swans of Swing. It's a seven-day long holiday and there's a wonderful song that goes with it.

Oh, I'd love to hear it. Seven swans are swimming, six swans are swimming, five swans are swimming, four swans are swimming, three swans are swimming, two swans are swimming, and a swan swimming. Pretty catchy. Have you ever thought, and this is unsolicited, I know, constructive criticism, have you ever thought about mixing up swans with other birds? Slow down, pervert, I know you're gonna,

I know you're gonna suggest six geese laying over here, but. Well, of course the tradition is That swans tend to float and they don't really swim per se underwater But around this winter solstice Every day an extra swan joins the previous swan in diving deep under the water and pulling up pieces of coral Hmm, aren't you did you know that swans float? And if they sink, they're a witch.

Isn't that right, Eagle? No! That was the single most affirmative call I have ever heard in my days. I've got to believe at least one of those birds is not that into this. And I think I see which one. Arnie, I gotta say, after hearing my ex declare that noise, I kinda miss them. Hey, call me maybe. Call me maybe.

There's a tiny hand man. Dance in on my arm. There's a tiny hand man. Dance in on my leg. There's a tiny hand man. This is crazy. Making his way. Oh, what else?

You. What else? Yes, what's next? What's next? Oh, didn't we say I don't know if this is the right day, but didn't we say we're going to do a potluck sometime? Or are any, what are you around the holidays? Is there anything specific you like to eat?

Yes, what are some of your traditions back on Earth for your Christmas? Oh, well, you know on Earth we have a few holidays around this time of year. You know, you mentioned Christmas of details. Yeah, Christmas is the main one. I mean, it's... Whoa! No, no! Are you, perhaps?

Look, no, no, here's the thing. I don't mean to suggest that Christmas is really any better than any holidays. Christmas is... But you're saying everybody's on Earth celebrates Christmas. So you would say Merry Christmas to everyone. Well, they're kind of cursed to eventually say it. I mean, they're cursed. That's the curse of Christmas.

Whoa. Classic Christmas, guys. Christmas. Christmas is like a parasite, a cheerful parasite that infects the host and slowly takes over the entire body. Like, first Christmas took over the winter solstice on my world, and then Christmas started to take over all of the rest of the country,

but then the interesting thing was, the version of Christmas started to take over Christmas. And so, I don't know, you can read all of my blog. Look, Christmas is just kind of weird. But you still celebrate it. What do you love about it? Christmas is like monopoly on my world. We don't understand that in every way.

It will become clear. It's a board game on my world, and there's a lot of great imagery, but to really enjoy it, you have to have house rules. Like, you have to celebrate it in your own way. Like, when I was growing up, you know, a lot of people on our celebrate Christmas on Christmas morning, but when I was a kid, we used to go out at night

and drive around in my dad's car. Oh, so dangerous. And my mom would stay home, usually saying something like, I got a, I don't feel so good. And so we'd all the while- Is this one you would stand on top of the car and do what you call teen wolfing it? That is more of a summer thing. You have to have styles to do that. We'd drive around and we'd look and we'd see like a red dot on top of a radio tower and we'd say, it's Rudolph, the red nose reindeer.

And then we'd come home and my mom would be at the door and she would say, you won't believe what happened. Well you were gone. I was in the bathroom and I heard a noise and I came out and Santa Claus came. He came at night and we you know it took years for us to be like why is mom always in the bathroom? Is that part of Santa's magic? And you said one year you and I know this is maybe not the time or place and I know it's a deeply unsettling moment in your life but you said one year you, and I know this is maybe not the time or place, and I know it's a deeply unsettling moment in your life, but you said one year you did see your mom kissing Santa

Quas? Was your mother having an affair with Santa Claus? Oh, I'm sick, I can't go out. I'll just be in the bathroom. Fucking this fat man. Whoa! Hey, that's my mom. I can tell adorable stories about her going to the bathroom. Look, how do you feel about that chicken? Kind of a headshake, hard to tell.

That eagle talks for all of them, I think. But oh, but you know what? There's a bunch of other people here that I'm very excited to teach us about some of the more holidays. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. Before we bring them out, I do want to mention, as always, if people want to email the show with any questions or any thoughts from Earth,

they can email me at shuntedjima.com, that's chant with six teas. And one of those birds was like, oh, I've got his email now. Oh, shit. He doesn't respond to my cause. I know that's the same joke that you make for him. No, yeah. Worth it. It was worth it.

Birds wouldn't get that excited about email. They prefer Twitter. Yeah. I should leave now. Yeah. It was a callback. I should leave now. No. It was a callback. I don't deserve that. It's the holidays.

No, there's a ghost here, my dad's here. Oh, boo, dad. Boo to my dad. Oh no, they're booing. My dad's just one person. That's booze. Yeah. I was going to say I was worried that before the show was over we would be visited by three booze. What? That's why I call me after the booze. I'm drunk right Eagle You and I are going to start your own podcast

That really seems to me to be used to Imagine all of your stranger than world listening to me talking to a bird We'll see if Stitcher's interested. But you said we have some more guests that are going to have some holidays. Yeah, I'm very excited for our first guest and really we have no right to lot let her be here because technically she owns the tavern. I'm excited to hear about some holidays from Activity of Barleyfoot. Ooh. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Friendship! Oh! Yes, the angelic! Hello! Oh! I'm so excited to be here.

Activia, you are so much friendlier than I remember in the past. Oh, what can I say? Is that time of year, innit? No. It's just so magical, the lights, the trees, the lights. So beautiful. I can't contain myself. I'm such a hard-ass, bad-ass, scary-ass,

old girl, the time, but this time of year. I'm glad you said it. I just, I turn to a big bowl of mist, you know. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy the lights. I often go around Hogsface, casting my spell of galeeve, leeked and comers, making twinkling lights appear

all over the city. It's beautiful. I love your work. I wish you did it in the ones that chased, though. Because you do the static ones, but I'd rather you do the ones that chase, though. You know, because you do the static ones, but I'd rather you do the ones that chase. Oh, what I can do some of those, I'll do that tonight, right after the show.

Thank you, Fiannialeck. Oh, I'm so excited. I'm sorry, Yusun, do you ever have a problem with that spell where just part of the magic isn't working and makes a lot of the magic not work? You're like, nah, what? Yes, if even one small part of the spell is broken, all of the spell doesn't work.

Yeah. But normally it doesn't come with a little baggy of replacement partial spells, so you could just screw it into the main overall spell. Yes, I often have a pouch of replacement spells. But you gotta know which part it is. You're like, is it Galeeve? Is it Lichten? Is it Converweight?

Did I do Galeeve or did I not do Galeeve? But then, you can read about it on my blog. I'm impressed you don't just throw the whole spell out. You try and isolate the damaged section and it shows perseverance on your part. Don't think I am not tempted to do so. Mm-hm. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Right Eagle? Ha-ha-huh-huh-huh-huh. Right, T-Go? Uh-huh-huh-huh. Uh-huh-huh-huh. Uh-huh-huh. He said when you sort of just gave that big, hearty laugh, his belly shook. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, you're right.

What do you know about that? How much is belly sh- His belly shakes like a bowl full of shit. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Spinning a bowl full of shit, your mom was in the bathroom. And she heard a noise, you're lucky my mom barely knows what a podcast is. But nobody talk about it on Facebook. Activia, what do you, this time of year, what do you tend to do or what do you tend to enjoy? Like what are your, where do you this time of year? What do you tend to do or what do you tend to enjoy? Like what are your what are your properties line? Yeah, I learned about winter solstice late in life because you know

as you know, I was raised in a very strict religious practice. We don't celebrate any holidays no birthdays No, nothing we were we were bossing over as assistants Sit with that for a minute Oh, sit with that for a minute. So, as a child, it was prohibited. So now, as an adult, I'm experiencing it with child like wonder. So I love it. I love Christmas. I love how you force him to do things.

I actually know him. I know him a bit. You know, Chris? Yeah, he's a real piece of work. So just force him to do whatever you can. He deserves it. Oh yes, he's a gigantic piece of shit. Yeah, yeah.

He's pure, downright trash. Yeah. And I don't care who knows it. But it's very, it's a beautiful holiday. I like, of course, Hanukkah. Hanukkah I'm just learning about because I enjoy multiple tiny fires. More lights.

More lights, I like lights. Is what I'm establishing here I guess. I think you like fire. I mean I like things where it was once dark. Now it is like, kind of like my heart, like 90% of the year is very dark and cold and hard. And then like one time a year there's a brief flicker like right now during the holidays is the premise I'm establishing. Ooh, very nice.

You know, I enjoy Hanukkah too, even established. Hanukkah too? There's a sequel. There's a sequel. Oh, right, right, with Bruce Willis, right? It's a sequel, yes, it's with... A few people know it's a holiday movie. No one knows it's a holiday movie

And what they do is they still light the little fires and then what happens is the king sends a handful of his finest Soldiers and they all go a little kuku. It's eight crazy nights We've just been visited by a second boo. That's the boo of Christmas present. I wasn't crazy about Hanukkah 3, live 3 or Hanukkah. No. What about two Hanukkah 2 candles?

It was better. But the problem with the third one was they tried to have 16 crazy nights. And 16 lights, you just double up. Was it like 16 candles or 16 lights? It wasn't like 16 candles. I would have loved that. Yeah. Doesn't hold up.

It's not great. No, I can't imagine. I always get confused. where does Hanaka origins come in? Is Hanaka origins after Hanaka? To Hanaka? To Hanaka? My Hanaka? My Hanaka? Isn't that where Hanaka gets stung by bees and dyes? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Very sad. Very sad. Very sad. Very sad. Two-story loves it.

Oh, yeah. You've got bees on your socks. So I don't want to know how they got there. Yeah. There's a tiny toe, man. Dance in a toe. Activia, I have to say, I don't know if I've ever noticed this before, because usually you're looming over me,

but while you're seated, them ears, though. Like I never noticed how magnificent and stunning your ears are. Did you ever, you said as a kid, you didn't celebrate much holiday stuff? As a kid, were you ever teased for those ears? Oh, I was teased all the time. Yeah, people would be like, I'd tip you, look at those ears. You must be able to see a long way. Kids are cruel, kids are cruel. And stupid.

Yeah. And dumb kids, dumb and cruel. But even though they were wrong about what ears do, I still felt the hurt. Yeah. So who's dumbed them or me? I don't know. I'm sure it hurt doubly before they didn't even bother to understand your ears

What's supposed to do? No, that was means crew of them if anything. I'd say it was uncalled for where my birds are a I just saw a parent pour a drink down its neck like it's got like a tracheotomy Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey my ex had a surgery, okay? Oh I lost it when that eagle raised the roof Just two it's just two it's faces so stoic it's shown to so celebratory This is why I always tell you I love birds. They're just, they're just a hoot. Guys. Guys.

Oh, that one, you're mad at. That one, you're mad at. That one, you fickle guns, that one, you're mad at. Come on, this has been a shit show already, you'll mad at that one. Arnie, I feel like we don't call people in a tavern fickle, Kansen. Arnie, you said fickle or pickled? Either one, you're preserved as well.

Are there fickle, Kansen, the audience? Oh, that's what I'm. Yeah, they're seeing it all over the place. So I'm excited to learn about even the holidays. I don't know. I haven't learned about yet. So all of them excite me. Well, you know what? We can learn a little bit more because I asked another wizard to stop by.

Can is it can? It's not. It's not can. It's not can. I'm really excited to learn more about winter solstice in the holidays from Jamilis them off Yes, raise your hands and celebrate our dance for Jamilis them all And it is great to be here y'all. Oh, man. Woo. Looking good as always. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, I got through feasting, you know, feast season, you know, I do. I know how you do. What did you say, feast? No, the season. The season.

Feast season. Feast season. Feast season. Feast. Feast. Feast season, feast, season, feast, feast, feast, feast, feast, season, feast, season, feast, season, season, it sounds delicious. Oh yeah, it's great, it's great, it's great. You know, I bet y'all know me, you know, I'm Jamilis Washington, you know, I'm the, I'm bring up feast and famine, you know, I'm the master of the slave plantation, you know, and bring up feast and famine. I'm the master of the slave plantation, shatter of the tranquil trade winds. Yeah, the drawers know me as that dude. You know, the L's know me as holding, always holding.

You know what I mean? Yeah, you know what I mean? Eagle knows what I mean. I have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eagle just did a hood nod. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know what's up. Yeah, flap, yeah, yeah. Eagle just did a hood nod. Yeah, yeah, he knows what's up. Yeah, flat, flat, he is.

Yeah, the vampire's no me as my queen to me. And you know, in the far south, I'm always known as, boy, you know, you can't help it, you know. It's always the same thing, you know what I mean? So yeah, it's been straight up feasting, y'all. Spaghetti. Yeah, I have to ask. Don't,all. Spaghetti. I have to ask. Don't hate don't.

I have to ask, where did you get those mauve sandals? Those are beautiful. Oh yeah, actually I picked them up at a cool store. You know, there's actually a special place in the South. You know, it's actually, it's pretty cool. It's pretty sad, but it's pretty cool. Okay. So what happens is we have a bunch of people that make shoes.

Mm, cobblers? Well, you know, they're like shoe specialists, you know, I mean yeah my word was dumb Well, because you know they don't really don't really like put shoes together. They more so like sold them Oh, God, you okay, they're not hammering no more. Yeah But the thing is as cool is that every pair of mom sandals you get They take a pair of mom sandals and they give them to somebody It's in a whole another continent. Oh, it's pretty amazing, but it's kind of sad You know, a whole bunch of people running around without shoes, man. Yeah, we don't know their size Yeah, and all the shoes they give those people who are less advantage just as shit as the one they give us

That yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like you got people in a third world country, you know, running around in shoes that don't hold up. Yeah, and it's weird because the people making the shoes should be keeping the shoes, you know, if they're giving those shoes somewhere else, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a real travesty, you know, I'm sorry, I'm coming with some real talk, and I'm fully open for the show. I hear the call. I hear the call.

For now, we know that these people without without shoes we know not their shoe size. Let's use a door. Use his great magics. Derrath can gym bear that tetheth tell pal. They need a size eight. Wow. I mean, that's where he's the man. That reminds me of the most beautiful Christmas song on earth. It does. Sing it. Sing it.

Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it.

Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. Sing it. It's called Christmas shoes, and I don't remember it exactly, just remember being traumatized by it. But as best as I can remember, it's something like, my mama was dying, and it was Christmas

time. So I got her some Christmas shoes, and when she was in the bathroom, it was said, okay, something like that. I'm paraphrasing. I've got issues with your mom, man. And bathrooms. It's just a holiday tradition. All right. I have a question for you, Jamilis.

Yeah, what's up? Every time you buy a giant book backpack, does a child another continent get that as well? No, no, man, you gotta earn this book bag, you know what I mean? Cause it sort of looks like something a child would wear. No, no, see how dare you. Yeah, you know, see, this is, this is my spell book. Oh, you know, I mean, I always have it on me, you know, just in case I, you know,

I find a freestyle spell like, and I wanna put it down, you know, and put a hot track behind it. But, yeah, you know, I'm talking about. I do do yeah, you know so you know if you don't have a close to you you might forget it. You know man. You said or you don't carry around a spell book. I ate it. He remembers everything he eats because I remember everything I eat. Yeah, they call it they call him the the easy. That's right. Yeah, they call him the easy. That's right.

Yeah, he never has to write any of his spells down. You know, he just goes straight into the booth and just lays down those spells, you know what I mean? What was that chicken's name that you ate two weeks ago? Dareth? What was he like? Sweet. Tangy?

Little Tangy. Do you wish you only ate jerks? Just like really rude and amused and stuff. I feel like a jerk chicken would be pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty tasty. And you're also removing a jerk from the world. I'm sure. One less jerk. I mean, we all probably have plenty of jerks, but it's probably good to have less of them.

Yeah, yeah. What else does Jimilis have to say? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's OK. It's all good. You know, we're going to go down. I just wanted to let you all know that. I have some actually. You said you didn't experience a lot of holidays.

No, teach me. I'm a spun. Yeah, yeah. So there's actually one of my favorite holidays I love. It's actually, it's the day after the main feast. Main feast day is one month before, you know, winter solstice. And there's a tradition that you have

that if you really want to get the best things, you participate in a thing called Black Friday. Oh, it sounds spooky, but well seasoned. Oh, no, no, no, it's real cool. You like it. So what happens is, if you happen to be a black person in a phone, then you get to go to any white person in a phone's house. And if they don't have a gift for you

and you knock on the door, you can take anything in their house. Whoa! That is awesome! It sounds awesome at first, You can take anything in their house. Whoa! That is awesome! Yeah! Right. It sounds awesome at first, but point of order. Is this a day when black people just go and loot white people's houses? We don't call it loot. It's not really lootin' it's more like-

Well, you take an item from their house. Well, I mean, they can choose to give you a gift, you know what I mean? Right, so you extort them. You force them to give you something. No, no, no, no, they don't. No, no, no, no. You're going to go in their house and take something, which I think many of them think we're going to do anyway.

It's not looting. It's not looting. I just want to get the details clear. No, no, no, it's not looting. It's more so getting what we deserve. Wait, okay. You know what I mean? It's more of like, it's more of like, you know, we're getting some, you know, we're getting some, you know, little payback

For all the things that have happened in the, you know, in the history of the Southern of Phoon, you know, I mean, it begs the question Yo, is this racist? Yeah, yeah, I mean Who can say who can say I mean well, there has to be some kind of time limitation on it Oh, yeah, it's 24 hours like maybe it's like okay, but you can't come into my home until six in the morning Well, it's 24 is after you feast. Oh, okay, so you have to put out like with the minute you feast You got to put a little mark on that side of your door, you know what I mean? It's like put on both of your your door posts Yeah, so that ever you know when a black person walks by they know hey, can I come in here?

No, I better not go in there. There's no markers on the door post. I gotta keep moving to the next house Right, so when the black person passes over your house, they know whether or not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah They can go in and as long as it's 6 a.m. Now is that 6 a.m. White people time or the other? Yeah, it's it's more see-phone time. Okay. I've just colored colored food time colored food time. Yeah, it's more C-Phone 10. OK, I've just colored phone time. Color phone time. Yeah, C-F-C-F-C-F-T. So I need to be learning. Here's my question, and this is very important.

Otherwise, I'm out in Hogs phase having conversation. Can I use the expression C-Phone time? Or am I going to get in trouble? I mean, you could. You could you could yo that's racist And if it is pissed off you have the hard the heart TN and are not Is a salty the soft T on the time then maybe I mean, but maybe I mean you're you're playing with your own playing with your own And then who's around who's your friend, who's there. If it's still unclear, we could just ask the eagle.

I mean, well, I think that having dated some birds, I can speak with confidence that most of them celebrates another holiday called, were they let out some grief called, side bird Monday. Isn't that right, Eagle? But you're back on board for that. I'm just trying to figure out the landscape here.

But side bird Monday is their day to kind of get it all out. I mean, because birds, birds is their thing, you know what I mean? So wait, this is just for like your side bird. It's like, so this is for like adulterous birds. Yeah, a side bird. I see. Is it, so then do you also celebrate? My side chick.

Yeah. Do you also celebrate fuck local Saturday? Fuck local Saturday. What's that? Fuck local Saturday is where you're like, I've got to stop going to all these big boxes. And I've got to fuck local. I, it takes a little bit longer.

Do I still think globally and fuck locally? Or just, well, depends on how quickly you want to come. I, no, I, I don't know what, I don't know what any of this is, but I Celebrate giving Tuesday Given Tuesday, what's that? Oh, I'm giving On Tuesday All right, what's long as everybody participates in their local erections. I think we'll be all right. Yeah, yeah

Yeah, so it was important, you know, I mean so I was a small erections that really count, youctions, I think will be all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was important, you know what I mean? So that was the small erections that really count, you know what I mean? I don't. I wouldn't know anything about that. I wouldn't know anything about that. I like your book bag. Thanks. Arnie, now that we have four, I don't know.

Did you try it on? Oh, did you join Trayon? Oh, join Trayon? I'm sorry, I just realized I'm here with my friends. So I just have to, hello. You need me to be your wingman? I'm just, I'm doing that thing, you know, you do with your girlfriends when you're like, hey, say that thing that I need, you just say,

to get me to go. Oh, yeah, right. We have that thing we planned before, John. Okay, so just when I need you to say to get me to go. Oh, yeah, right. Right. We have that thing we planned before, John. Yeah. So just when I'll give you the signal, you could do that for me. Yeah. And let me know if you want to switch spots.

Oh, OK. Yeah. Ah, already another we have four people from Foon here. Would you mind sharing a little bit more about Earth holidays, about Christmas? Do you have, um, what do you want to know about Earth? What are people where? Is there a certain thing people where about Christmas? Do you have, well, what do you want to know about Earth? What are people aware? Is there certain thing people wear during Christmas? Is there a typical gift that you give?

Is love enough? Do families all come together and celebrate? Yes, is that a particular memory that perhaps stands out? Well, sure, you know, this is kind of weird, it's not really a memory, but I'm in an unusually good mood. I mean, around the holidays, they're sort of placed in the middle of the winter because it can sometimes be the darkest,

most stressful time of the year. And I don't know why I just feel a little bit better because it's the holidays. And I just, you know, I almost never remember my dreams. But last night, I just had this great dream that I was home for Christmas. And oh, good. Will you tell us about your dream, please Well, I'm just not sure what it means

Like want you lie down get comfortable here. You might use my shins. There is a lot of powerful imagery So I'm going to try to remember it. Oh, thank you. I'm gonna try to remember it as much as possible You need to back off you. I'm going to try to remember it as much as possible. Be into back off. You OK? Keep going. Keep going. I was on Earth. And in Chicago, and what's going?

Nothing. I'm just looking at my bird. And the Christmas tree was up. There were lots of boxes which signified that we had meant to put the ornaments on, but we probably wouldn't get to it for a couple of weeks still. And my mom was in the bathroom. I don't know what do you think it means?

This seemed like it was a Current happening as if you are on earth right now Yeah, I was on earth right now with my daughter The age that she phone now phone your daughter Yeah, and she just she just kept saying else and Anna else and Anna, else and Anna. Are those her friends? She says she thinks they're her friends. She seemed to think so in a way that it would, I imagine, would be very hard to convince her otherwise.

And why would I try? But maybe I'd want to. Now, at first I was not interested in this dream, but something strange has happened. You were telling me it seemed as if you were not watching this from outside, but you are participant in these activities. As if you were there. Yeah.

Oh, aren't it's Arnie? What if you are? Whoa! Didn't we cover this in an episode? Wow. Usador, didn't you say you were going to bring someone on to do a winter solstice reading for us? Oh yes. Oh yes, I am very excited of course. Ah, people of the tavern listen now to use it all. They're already listening. Today you shall learn the true meaning of Gunderstein from our hallowed guest,

Don't be alarmed. Just some friendly boats. Yes. All right. Good evening, everyone. I'm Rhapsody Gunderhair. And hello. I am a fairy queen and descendant of the great hero, Gundar. And I'm here this evening to bring attention to a wonderful but misunderstood winter solstice

holiday, Gundarstein. You probably know something about how we celebrate Gundarstein in the town of Gundar and other nearby villages. You may know that every third Blurndsday Eve, we meet in the town square and throw fruit at each other. Whoever eats the most fruit without getting knocked on conscious is the caretaker of all the fruit in town for the rest of the winter season. But as soon as the blurnd season starts, they have to give everyone a sincere compliment. It's very nice. You might even know that once every century a child appears on the Gunders stump in the

center of town and predicts the weather for the following century, but she's only right about half the time. Com si com sa. And of course, everyone knows that we go on about our holiday business during winter solstice. We each carry our oversized mallets along with us to hit each other over the head with them. But what most people don't realize is that Gunderstein celebrates the defeat of the first dark lord of phone. Yes. don't realize is that Gunderstein celebrates the defeat of the first Dark Lord of

Phon. Yes! That's right. That's the true meaning of Gunderstein and I'm here to remind you why our mallet is sound to give a little pound. Many countless centuries ago the first Dark Lord strode across the street on his terrible steed. There he sought to wreak havoc upon his neighbor, my famous ancestor. Gunder, Gunder was a simple person who worked hard and cared for all those around her. On this particular day, despite Gunder's stellar reputation, the dark Lord lifted his terrible hand and smacked Gunder across the face.

Uh. Yes, boo indeed. Yes, boo, yeah. Gunder was shocked. Why had her neighbor just come across the street and smacked her in the face? A gasped, Gunder turned to her neighbor and said, Ted, why'd you do that?

That's what I'm saying. Ted. Ted. Ted, no more foolish Gundar. I am the Dark Lord of Foon, and shall rule over all. Yes, also Boo. Yes. Boo is right.

Gundar thought long and hard and said, can I get my pruning shears back then? And the dark Lord speak, no! Gunder, you cannot have your pruning shears because I am evil now. Yes. Buz that man. Gunder thought long and hard and then said, well, Boo that man.

Gunder thought long and hard and then said, well, and I like it much, could you maybe stop? Also, why did you ride your horse across the street? Do you mean my terrible steed? Speak the duclorid. Sure, said Gunder, after her long pause, to begin a reign of terror that will last for one billion centuries, for I cannot die and will get stronger and stronger each time I am a born.

Mwahaha! Said the dog lord. Formerly doing business as Ted. How? I don't know, I just assumed that last part. I could be wrong about that bit. Once again, Gunders thought long and hard and then decided to kill Ted with the hammer.

She'd been holding the whole time. Gunders totally normal blows, struck Ted in the head, sending Ted to meet the goddesses. And that is why we celebrate to remember Gunder, the one who preemptively spared us from the most boring and least interesting incarnation of the Dark Lord. Each strike of our mallet is a reminder that we all have a responsibility to take care of each other, even when it isn't easy or immediately beneficial to ourselves. And that we shouldn't always wait until things get really bad to take action for the greater good. It is our symbolic gesture of love and protection.

So this gundustine, don't wait. Please help someone in need and give them a mallet. And then hit them on the head with another mallet to show them that you care. Beautiful. That love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love Oh, I love it. I love a bludgeoning. Bludgeon is one.

Ooh, bludgeoning. Yeah. Oh, bludgeon, I didn't know that was an official holiday. They celebrated up in Fingaria. The barbarians there. One day a year, they just bludgeon someone. That just sounds like a murder. No, if it's done on the right day, it's a perch.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a one-person perch. it's a purge. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a one person purge. It's also, you know, John Henry Day. Oh, what's that? It's where you go to a railroad and you just hit people with hammers. It's like, it's like whack-a-mole, but like, on a railroad.

Mm-hmm. Ahni, have we told you about railroads, hand-food? No, you have railroads? You didn't do the reading? Oh, yeah. No. Of course, we gave you a book about all the railroads. Yeah.

No. You didn't read it all the live long day? No. You were supposed to be working on the railroad. All the live long day? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. It's very simple. They just put, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. It's very simple.

They just put a little rail along some of the roads. It helps the horses not get lost. You just tie a little rope and they just follow the rail. Yeah. You put your hook in and then it's like takes you along there so you don't get lost. It's not possible. You can fall asleep and the horses get you

where you got to get. Uh-huh. It's really handy. But what about the holiday associated with the two Italianists? Oh get. It's really handy. Yeah. But what about the holiday associated with the two Italian? Oh, John Henry Day. Yes. Yes.

So then you bring a hammer to the railroad. And it's like, whack them all. You get to like, when people go by, it's like, and at the end of that day, how hard you worked shows how much you care about the railroad. And, and you get tickets to represent that, right? Yeah, yeah, you get tickets. And what can you trade those tickets in for? Well, you can get, you know, you can get real cool things, like you can get a magic station.

Ooh. Yeah, it's pretty cool. It's like games play themselves. Wow. It's like a little cool. Magic strict is happening in front of you. Yeah. I got this, I got this bottle of my belt that I don't keep anything in.

Oh. That one. I thought I looked empty. I also got an oversized minotaur one time. You know, it was like a huge minotaur. Yeah. It was real cool, though. I feel like minotars are already oversized to start with.

I know you're thinking of a maxitar. Oh. Yeah. Am I one of you now? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Am I one of you now? Oh, yeah. Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now?

Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now?

Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you now? Am I one of you be nice, you know what I mean? Oh, speaking of friends, I forgot. We had another friend that wanted to come by and tell us about another holiday. Ladies and gentlemen, please, one of our oldest and dearest friends slash Nemesis, Flower, the Talking Flower! or the talking flower. Yeah, nobody else fucking stand up or anything. I see something that I wanted to do.

It's just fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, use. I'm going to choose to take that as a compliment. I was thinking that for a long time, I was sitting over there, because you fucking left me over there. I was supposed to bring you over to the table, and I forgot. Yes, okay, I learned to walk in the mean time. Oh, good. Yeah, it's good for me.

Yeah, it's cool to see you so ambulatory. Yeah, I've been working on it and I gotta fit bit. You know about fit bit, honey? No, what's a fit bit? It's a dog that chases you around and bites you and you're not fucking working out. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.

Yeah. That'll do it. That'll motivate you. That does it. It's good. It's kind of crazy. It barks a lot at, you know, people who are, you know, a little darker, you know. So you run a little harder, you know, you run a little faster.

So you're better at sports, you know. I'm not going to call men on there. That's okay. Yeah. That's okay. It's just going to stop there. That's my comfort that. That's okay. Yeah. It's okay. It's just gonna stop it. That's my comfort level. That's fair.

That's fair. That's right, little. Guys, this holiday season, we learned that Flower has some boundaries. Yeah. We all have room to grow. Yeah. You guys talking about holidays, though? Yeah, we're talking about all the different holidays. Oh, yes, my favorite holidays is Honda days you guys over

Honda days. Oh, I love it. Yeah, do you know about Honda days? No, I don't know about Honda days. The mojandas are animals that are bread and food and they're very affordable And sort of basic level of animal and then and then on Honda days It's the job of the people that run Honda places to just get rid of all the fucking Honda's and it's it's it's driven by fear and panic It's like oh fuck we got so many hunders. We're gonna get rid of all these goddamn hunders. And then they just did the work and under pressure

to just drink a coffee, their families, holidays are on the line. We have to make room for all the new hunders that are gonna be born this year. Oh, I thought you'd have no interest. I didn't say, oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that was the boo of Chris Must Future. Mm. And, uh, Flour, if you want to get a Honda, you can also do a APR Frey nanting, right? Yeah, you can do it in April. Don't put it inside for you.

They'll say, yeah, you coming back, you look trustworthy. Okay, and if you don't, they're like, go fucking get a Taurus. You know, ride that shit. A Taurus is just a big bull. You know, maybe what if you don't have a need for An animal all the time. Can you just occasionally like Just if you're in the mood just lift one No, we've done all three We use them all up. I should have been a little more judicious

We used them all up. I should have been a little more judicious. Aligned away. I used to like Honda Days. But then I was celebrating Honda Days once at one of the Honda places. And they said, what's it going to take to get you into a Honda today? And I said, that's an animal. I don't want to get inside of it. Did you hear that, chunt?

Yeah, chunt. I like to hear that. I like to hear that. Earlier when you said, just now you said judicious, that made me think we were talking about Hanukkah, and it just made me think that I came late into Hanukkah. I came in Hanukkah Resurrection. Oh. And I was like, what the fuck is happening?

Why is Renault no rider here, you know? Very weird. Yeah, you know, is she Jewish? My favorite Hanukkah is the Hanukkah is called Hanukkah, you know, and it's just like the last like seven Hanukkahs never happened Yeah, it's like they just come in there. We're like forget it forget that last 20 years of Hanukkah's never happened. Yeah, it's like they just come in, they were like, forget what we told you. Forget that last 20 years of Hanukkah. Hanukkah, Hanukkah, Hanukkah happened like this. Hanukkah. Is that the one where Hanukkah's son fights the blonde head, Christmas boy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But Hanukkah trains him, and they, audience, see any of the first Hanukkah's fun. Yeah, yeah, they train him, but then there, oh, you know, but she doesn't realize that she's been trained Right, until the last minute, okay, and then you realize like oh man He is ready for Hanukkah. Yeah, you know what I mean like and then there's burn Hanukkah down I realized I haven't seen any of them and I shouldn't have started talking. Yeah, I don't know what to fuck We're talking about now flower. I wanted to say that I don't know what the fuck we're talking about now.

Flower, I wanted to say that I'm excited to see you. This is our first winter solstice together. Where man, she's back! Yeah! I came back for the holiday. I'm looking for you. I'm fine. You're fine.

You win. You did it. Okay. Flower. I'm not mad about it, but what the fuck? Flower. Wait, no one told me we Activia's been back for a while. I went on a trip or went around and then but you have to come back for the Sostas and I'll go hang out again probably

Probably I'm I can't be here all the time. It's just logistics. I know Tricks out. Yeah, so but flower I want to thank you for your dedication looking for me. It met a lot, you know. It's just a lot. And like, we are, I don't know why that horse got in here, but horses make so much noise in food, you know. It's either a girl's night or a robbery. Or maybe if someone just getting what they deserve.

OK. OK. OK. You know what I mean? Or maybe if someone just getting what they deserve. Okay. Okay. You know what I mean? As in, as in, like, takin' not robbing anybody, they're just takin' back the stuff that they are owed, the stuff that they are deserved of. They're repossessing it.

They're repossessing it. It's a repossession of a present, like a represent. Yeah, it's a joke and there's a representation of a present, like a represent. Yeah, there's a joke in there so much. It's a representation of a joke, you know. Now, Flower, activity has been back for quite a while. Yeah, I just don't care. There was a big chunk of the year where she was running the tavern.

Oh. You weren't here at all during that time? She ain't coming now. No, no, no. I got another stuff going on. Flower, what do you have going? Okay, Lizzy and I got myself in a real situation Right now, I was to be honest. It's like the holidays. I can be honest with you guys I'm a bit over pickle and a little bit of a pickle cut right now. I just

Can we get T-shirts? It's like pickle guns? And we get t-shirts as like big old guns. I mean, we've been one age away from now for a while. So yeah, so I saw it. And we maybe get one shirt and adult would wear. Yeah, yeah, I'm reconnected with my high school sweetheart. Yeah, yeah, I went to high school. No, no, I was amazed. This wonderful tale of you and the past love reunited.

Yeah, but his work is complicated. It's like it's a holiday season and we're in this small town and then I was helping him with my friends bakery because she was short staffed and so like I'm working in the bakery and this guy comes in and then like we hit it off and I'm thinking about my high school. So we are that I'm supposed to be with and this guy turns out the second dudes are fucking prince. And so like I have to decide whether to stick with who I thought was the love of my life

or like move to a different country and marry this prince or maybe be royalty and it's just easily the holidays. Now that's a real whole work of education. Yeah. I think I can help you through this. Okay, it sounds good. I have a couple of questions, follow up questions. You. The one that you thought you were in love with, who's not the prince. He's my high school sweetheart. Yes, is he some sort of high powered executive who's lost the sense of what the winter solstice means? Yeah, yeah. All right, that's what I thought.

Is he in the big city or in the country? He's in the country. Well, he's in the country. He's a small town guy. He's a small town executive. He's a small town executive. He's a small town executive. He's a small town executive.

He's a small town executive. Well,'s more town-exactly. This is all... This is all town-exactly. Well, those are the best kind, though. Yeah, yeah. For our... I'm also... I can relate to you. I'm also dealing with running into an ex. Cool, let's make it about you. Well, no, I just... Just wanted to relate, yeah.

CHEERING Is... is the bakery... Does everybody see these birds? Yes. Yeah, they've been at the whole time, they've had a whole thing their wonderful allies flower Go go go is the bakery in danger of going out of business always okay? This is all starting to add up. There's a week actually had a recent big off dancer thorn In the middle of the small town to try to raise spirits. I heard about this.

You put on sunglasses and just a little dance. That was my move. I saw the sign to say this victory has flour. Only one music plays. So will you play some music? Yes, I'll play some music. May I touch your knee? Absolutely.

Oh, I thought that was a song. Tiny hand, man. Dancing on your knee. I'm a tiny hand, man. Dancing on your knee. I'm a tiny hand, man. Dancing on your knee. I'm a tiny hand, man. Dancing on our knee. Our knee, my knee.

Dance man. Yeah, that's it. Flower. I like how during most of that, I held a microphone to my mouth like I was going to fucking say anything. You? I have some bad news for you. Based on the answer to your questions

and a spell that I just cast. Oh no. I believe that the prince and the local small town executive are the same person in disguise. What? What? I believe he's been lying to you the whole time. Oh, how?

How? But there is good news. He's pretended to be a prince to win your heart, for he fears as a high-powered local executive he won't be able to win your heart over. So if you confront him and tell him that you know the truth that he's not really a prince at all and he's the man you've loved since high school, then you two will be married and you'll save the bakery. Arnie, do you ever get concerned that you store nose too much about this story? A little bit, but I'm just excited that it's a story where love conquers all in the holiday season, and everybody gets a happy ending.

No, I'm not going for it. Speaking of happy endings, if anybody wants a happy ending, I happen to know that an eagle can make you come in three strokes. A normal birdies too, an eagle's three. Oh, wow. And everyone knows that about eagles. It's one of their hallmarks. So is it fair to assume that any point that something is going

on in the show, John, just sitting here being like, eagles. It's a guy, dear, my man. I just wanted to know, in your story, is your friend who owns a bakery? Might she be in what looks like a terrible marriage, but then she's able to give you sage relationship advice, even though it looks like she and her husband fucking hate each other, and she's very pregnant inexplicably for like 11 months in the time that you're with her. You know Margie?

Yeah. Tell her who. I actually have a question. Is this X love of yours by any chance Dean Kane? Yes, it's Dean Kane. Wow. The guy who runs the local college? Yeah.

I feel like this kind of thing is always happening to Dean Kane. Well, you know one thing, I also did a spell as well. And I actually have a way to help you even solve this sooner. You guys just do a spell before we should have brought you out sooner. It's becoming clear. It's fine. Where's up? Yeah.

So what's going to happen is tonight, you're going to be able to earn that happy ending. If you're able to set up a ton of traps to keep anybody out of your house. OK. So you have to stay completely alone and make sure that nobody gets into your house for the entire night.

Okay, well, let me just tell you right now what I already got going on in my house. I got broken glass. Yeah. I got tar in one nail sticking straight up with the goddamn air. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got a loose tarantula.

Absolutely. I'm running around the place. I've got a blowtorch. Yeah towards, he's gonna shoot off and blow off some of these head, especially if they're wearing a winter taboggy. Yeah, too. Yeah, I've got something heavy swinging down. What the fuck was that?

Give him a lot of them. You have a live wire. Yeah, live wire and a bunch of water. And if all else fails, do you have like just an old woman who's friends with birds? They'll save you in the end. That's good. That's a good suggestion.

Keep the tip, you filthy animal. That's our show. Thank you so much. I guess it's hardwarming to know even a bunch of dudes dressed as birds can finally find a home. Let's see. Usador was played by a series of ringtones at full volume on public transit. Chant was played by a heavily watermarked copy of Dad jokes for the bathroom. Volume 44.

Activie Abali Foot was played by Tawny Newsom. She has some live stuff coming up so check out her website, tawnynewsum.com slash tour. Jamilius The Maw was played by Anthony LeBlanc. Artistic director at the second city. Rhapsody Goon Deere was played by Symphony Sanders from Legitimate Podcast. Welcome to Night Vale. If you want even more Symphony in your life,

check out Good Morning Night Vale. Flower the Talking Flower was played by Brooke Bright, who would love to use her plug time to remind people to buy the Jackbox Party Pack 5. Are we not going to credit the bird people? Yes, we are not. Well, I am. The assorted birds in the show were played by a group of people in the audience wearing bird masks.

Is that so hard? Great. Get ready for the next live show to have a bunch of Bernie Bros. spelling out the phrase What's Next? That's on you. Hello from the Magic Tavrum was produced by Arne E. Camp, Evan Jacoba and Ryan D. George this one edited by Garrett Schultz. Music by Andy Poland, logo by Aller Blabon, additional audio effects by Jason Knox, production

assistance by Garrett Schultz. Special thanks to Tim Shown, Brad Davis, and the rest of the staff and crew at Tallyahol, and special thanks to Rosa Mir, who helped take pictures of the cast and audience members after the show, all while wearing a subtle Burger King jacket that was great rose. Visit us at aloefromthematiktavron.com or on Facebook or Twitter, thanks for the Chicago podcast, co-op and earwolf. Remember no show December 24th or the 31st for the holler days. Okay, time for the gift exchange.

Let me guess, slippers. You know that was your gift, but I had an 11th hour inspiration. Tricia, haven't you always wanted your own space angel husk? Oh, god. Oh, that counts as a guest. Ugh.