Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 3, Ep 22 - Witch Smoothies

Episode Date: December 30, 2019

Claudia the Witch returns, as Chunt and Usidore fight to save Arnie's life.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungClaudia: Beth MelewskiLincoln: Evan JacoverProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Garrett SchultzSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hey everyone, this is Lincoln. I'm still working on my notes on Operation Foon. Boy, the fact that Arnie was stabbed in the chest of the sword and is probably dead has really added a serious wrinkle to our plan to save him. Buh, made our holiday party a real bummer this year, I'll tell you that much. Tween you and me, I heard a rumor that we're escalating our top secret mission to phase 4. So things are getting tense here.

Probably shouldn't stir that. Anyway here's a quick look at the upcoming Magic Tavern live shows. The Atlanta show on January 12th is sold out. So sorry Atlanta, but there are still tickets available for the January 13th show in Charlotte North Carolina, the January 15th show in Portland, Oregon, the January 16th show in Seattle, Washington, and I think there are still tickets available for the January 17th show at San Francisco Sketchfest with special guest Trace Bullew from Mystery Science, Theatre 3000. To get links for tickets, go to Hello from the magic tavern.com and click on the Live

Show's tab. And if you need some easy cosplay for the show just go to your dad's closet and grab a pink polo, piece of cake or a badger one Z. I don't know what your dad's into. Okay, let's get to the episode and see if I can learn anything useful. Maybe Arnie's okay. I don't know. Here, here, uh, try Speaking to the microphone, Arnold. Ornie, speaking to the microphone. Ornie, sometime ago you fell through a portal. Yes, it's a magical world behind the burger potentate.

And you've been getting a slight Wi-Fi signal from the Burbeaking to get the Paddy Castilla. Yes, and for the last four years, in 7,000 days, or however, time works, you have been presenting this podcast about your boring time sitting around drinking. Come on, darling. Speaking to the mic, come on, buddy. Under mine, me. No, shut. Have we tried everything I don't know what else to do?

I don't know what to do, either. Well, he's dead. Let's move on. I'm not giving up, shut. I-we've tried everything. I don't know what else to do. I don't know what to do either. Well, he's dead. Let's move on. I'm not giving up hope. What? I'm not giving up hope. If nothing else, we should get like an Arnie-sized scabber to put this sword in and then use him as a weapon. Shut you of inspired.

An Arnie-tipped sword. That's a wonderful idea. If you won't give up, I shan't give up either. I shall fight all in and on until our friend is alive. I mean, I've managed to freeze him in time. You know, I know. Wawfter, huh? What's that?

A lot of Wafflin going on. Well, you know, it's been a couple of weeks and I've been trying everything I know how to do. And I've managed to freeze him in time, so he's not dying, but he's not really alive. You know, what's funny is that he's not even cold? Yeah. Did you freeze him, freeze him? No, he's frozen in time? No, he's frozen. He's friogenically frozen. He's

temporarily frozen. Hmm, temporarily. Can we cut off his head and just save the head? Oh, that's a good idea. We could find him a much better body. Yeah. Well, I thought maybe Troney on these microphones and letting him speak into one because that's a thing he likes to do for some reason He thinks people on earth are going to listen to what he has to say and Respond even though it's been several years and no one's even tried to bring him back. I know not even a little bit I know you think they'd send an expeditionary force or something. Yeah, or at least I don't know they'd make a podcast about finding him Oh, that's a great. Yeah, finding on a camp don't know they'd make a podcast about finding him. Oh, that's a great idea finding the thing to do. Yes, and then all his friends could be interviewed and you could find out this story about

what what what who was he really in what what was his life like? That would be a wonderful podcast. Why would he listen to that? Yeah, definitely wouldn't listen to this. Here, put it, keep the cart moving, keep the cart moving keep the cart moving Oh Claudia I thought I smelled something You old so-and-so wait what did you smell? Men stink I've had a good well. I would like very much Claudia to ask you your professional opinion about something. Well, first of all, hello.

How have you been? I've been all right. I landed here in the swamp and I've been making smoothies. Oh, that's wonderful. Yes, could I get you one? Yes, or oh, ZI, yes., well either one. Whatever you'd like listen I'm just mousy. Okay, business isn't great. So I can do whatever the hell you want. It's a nice little Snitch and you can say it. It's two sticks in a leaf forgive me for being brosk, but under here, under this top.

Oh! You see, my friend has a sword implanted in his chest, and I have temporarily, temporarily, frozen him. In his temporal lobe? And here, if you see, I've tried everything I can to revive him and remove the sword, but for some reason, because this sword was made specifically out of obsidian to murder wizards. So he's tempered? It was tempered. I just wanted to murder wizards.

No, no thank you. Well you've came to the right witch. Oh you can help us. You can help Arnie? Yes of course I can help Arnie. Do you remember Arnie? Yes I always kind of had a soft spot for him. That's nice.

What a weirdo. Me too. For me it's sort of like having a pet. Oh, I can see that. Yes. I used to have a spider. Oh, what was its name? Eat me.

You eat meat? Eat me. You had a spider named Eat Me? Yeah, and you can guess what I did. Well, alright. I'm glad you brought him here. He looks so soft and peaceful, except for that thing in his chest. Okay, I think I can help. First of all, what do you want? Smoothies?

I'll take a smoothie. You want a smoothie? Yeah. Chant what kind? Do you have grape? I can make grape. What else do you want in it? Oh, I guess salt. Grape and salt? Well, that's weird. Okay. You had a spider named Eat Me and grape and salt is weird. I'm a witch. Gah. I'll have salamander in line. Oh, that's one of my best sellers. Really? Uh-huh. Actually, you're my first customers. Oh, thanks. Oh, so we're paying. No, these are on the house. There's a little done of again. There's a tip frog over there

If you want to put a tip in the frog's mouth. Okay. Yeah, I'm not pressure. No, I'm happy to do it. I don't know pressure I'm happy to do it. I haven't even made the smoothies yet. So if you want to try them first I wonder what she did with that spider. This is all I can eat it. I can hear you. I ate it. It was called eat me. Ah I didn't know what she did with that spider. This is a rocket. I ate it. I can hear you. I ate it. It was called eat me. Ah, I didn't put that together before. All right. One grape and salt and one salamander.

I'm going to take that piece of gold out of the frog and put it back in. That was mine. I wanted to show you saw that I did that. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Oh, gold. Yes, one gold piece. Fancy.

I am a wizard of great renown. And if you could do me a favor word of mouth, is my best source of spreading business around. So anybody, you know, come across and swamp, just let them know I'm here. What you know who loves a delicious sweet treat is Arnie right here. All right, let's help this soft chump. Okay. What could we do? Okay. We've tried a lot of stuff already.

You stores maxed out his spell capacity. I tried force feeding him different bugs from the forest. So it's mouth probably still has quite a few bugs in it. We tried to shove him in a tree stump. We put him under dirt, under the full moon. Well, oh my amulets got blown up. So you peed on him. Oh, your amulets got blown up.

Yeah, all my amulets got blown up. So I've had to put my magic into other things. So when Hogsface was destroyed, she lost her anointing. I am very sorry about that, but I'm glad we're able to escape with everyone else. Well, I escaped and sometimes you need something horrible to happen to realize you need a new lease on life. Like the smoothie stand, you know?

Yes, it's, I mean, it's really... It's me, girl, I know. I was just... Two sticks and a leaf. It's nice, it's nice. All right. So nice. Well, I have a straw here.

It's paper, not plastic, so back off. Ooh, yikes. So, I think if we put this right here, and you still need to blow on it a little bit. Okay. I'm gonna jack it around. Keep blowing. I'll blow you jack.

Keep blowing. Oh, keep blowing. Oh, Arning Plotty, you're missing it. Can we fail a trident I've tried this several times too? Look, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, What keep sucking you suck I blow oh Jack suck blow Jack blow Jack Blow Jack come on Arnie come on come on come on come come come Come on you soft chump Oh, we lost him we had him and we lost him we had him and we lost them all right

Well, you know what forget this We had them in we lost them. Alright, well you know what, forget this strong. You know what I like about your smoothies? What's that? The fact that you have them in these very nice teaky cups. Yeah, those are take homes, you can have that.

Oh really, I can have that. You can take that with you, yes. I like it's scary face. It's a travel cop, don't you want yours too? Yeah, please. Okay. Thank you so much. Again, word of mouth. Best way to spread business, so. Oh, I'll let everyone know.

Yeah. You know what this made me think of. What? And last couple weeks I've said I've tried many spells. Yes. And I wanted to try a transference spell. Oh, yes. But I wasn't able to because I didn't have the appropriate vessel.

Oh, yep. Now with this teaky cup, I should be able to transfer Arnold's soul and essence into the cup with your assistance, of course. Of course, that's much better than jacking. I mean. That was just a hey now. I thought it was pretty nice. Yeah, well, thanks, you should have.

How do we describe Arnie's essence? Creecy. Okay. Tall. Soft. Yeah. Tall. Soft. Yeah. Loyal. So.

Darsile. Darsile for sure. Like I said before, something like playful. playful. Yeah. You can kind of scratch them behind the ears. They'll kick one leg. Sort of like a giant lizard.

Yes. Like a giant lizard. That's exactly where I was trying to say. Like a fur lizard. Mm-hmm. Why don't they have more giant fur lizards? Well, I'll put it a request in the swamp. I mean, they'd be here, you know.

That makes sense. Yeah. Are you running for swamp council? I'm thinking about it. I don't know, you know, my politician days might be over, but we'll see. I think that you should do it. And here is why.

OK. The swamp needs more representation. It's probably just a bunch of old white men. And frankly, a beautiful young witch like yourself, you're what? A couple hundred years old? Oh, you flatter me. You would breathe new life into that couple.

You would fill up the swamp. Well, you know what? You've encouraged me to do it. I'm going to do it. Oh, you're a real waffler, huh? Fill the swamp. Fill the swamp. Fill the swamp! That's the perfect running slogan.

Fill the swamp! Claudia, this witch will fill your swamp. Say it just like that. Claudia, this witch will fill your swamp. Vote for me! Out here. Now I'm going to place the cup upon Arnold's chest. All right.

And then we shall all and can't together. Shunt, I'll need you too. Okay. Repeat after me. After me. That's, I'm sorry, I'm just trying to evoke Arnie's spirit. I feel like that's something Arnie would do. That was perfect.

I would not be cut dead saying that, but Arnie, I feel like would do that. That was dead on. Perfect. Perfect. Baranth Torain. Baranth Torain. Can we start over? Yeah, I said Baranth Torain Baranth Torain Can we start over? Yeah, I said Baranth Baranth, it's always it's always okay Claudis said Baron repeat after me. I'm sorry

I did I'm not trying to get you in trouble sorry I just have to get in the ballpark okay, okay, let's say it at the same time Repeat after me after me Baranth Torrein Naranth Torrein Oh come on. That was a little I think it's close enough. I think it's close enough. I mean It seems to be working Oragoth

Oragoth Antilell Oh Or a golf Or a golf or a golf on Hello from the magic tavern Weekly podcast from the magical end of food. I'm your host aren't you camp if you've never been from the podcast before Everything you know it's about four and a half years ago I fell through the dimensional portal behind a burger king. It's happening. What's happening? The man's so fantastic. Stop it. Kill it. What is this? I know you loved interrupting me during my life. What is going on? I'm still getting a Wi-Fi. He thinks he's doing a podcast. Through the dimensional rift that I use to upload a podcast

every week that I use chronically our quest requested to feed the Dark Lord, and I'm joined, as always, by my co-hosts, my good buds. They seem a much taller than usual, but that's okay, probably magic or something. Uh, jump the talking badger. What the fuck is going on? Ha, new catchphrase. Also, use it or the wizard. Uh, oh, I hate to interrupt you, Arnie. Uh, but I must say. You said, I'm sorry, usually, people... Yes. Ah, you're like a wizard of the world.

Wizard of the 12th realm of a feces, master of light and shadow. Minimulator of magical lights, devour of chaos. Trappian of the great halls of droffis. I'll do cops. The elves, no, me, Zodyn and Xtangies. I forgot. Thank you, Wesson. I forgot.

That was me. What's that? Yeah, okay. Yes, that was Chant. Well, then whatever the Wester said. Never get credit for anything. Look, I'm sorry. I'm confused.

I can't focus right now. I, Ahni, I have to tell you, you've been frozen in time for the past two weeks. Well, I know everyone criticizes me for not doing any. No, no, no, no. I know the story for work. No, no, you misunderstand. Do you remember being at Giselednov Preparatory School for young wizards? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Let me try. Hi, honey. Hello. This is Claudia's and Claudia's hair. Normally, we would do a little bit of banter before we bring the guests in.

Because... Claudia's hair has every right to be... But I'm so excited to see you. This really is, honey. It's good to see you old soft sucker. The thing is, Chantilla helped me out a little bit. I guess the best way to put it is if you look behind you, you're dead, and currently your soul is inside a teaky cup.

Is that a metaphor? Also, yes. Also, I'm going to churn you so you can look behind you. Okay. Do you see? Oh! Okay, okay. That's it!

All right, that's all right. Oh! It's all right. It's all right. You've been scream is weird. Did he pass out? Did he pass out? It's not an action. It's not an action. Proper reaction. You've been scream is weird. Did he pass out? Did he pass out?

Yeah, make me another smoothie and ony. Okay. There you go. On old? On old? Listen, if you could just leave a tip. I'm not and don't pressure anything, but... I already did well. All right, here's another goal piece.

Thank you so much. Word of mouth. And your suit business went under? The suit business went under, yes. So, your suit price. Are you gonna put any goal piece? No, super you, just one of these. I put some goal in. You didn't see it?

No, it's not. You didn't. But there's only two in there. I know you could open two in there. Okay, well, someone here is lying. All right, there's been a murder. What? What?

The truth has been murdered. No. Honled wake up. Wake up. Come on. Wake up. Come on. Check it.

Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. Check it. We have to listen to this every time. I'm your host, Arlene. Why is this the best he's ever done in Europe?

It's a chat, and I know you loved it, and it interrupt my intro. Oh, well, he busted him there. To got Claudia, you know, usually we banded around a little bit before we slept against him. Yes, yes, so... So, this is like... He just keeps doing the same thing over and over again.

Is that what it's like to listen to someone just saying the same thing over and over again? Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah, then you launch into your name, woof. Oh, no. You said what they really like it if you do your name. Well, on all that, I already said my name part of it, and that's fine.

Today is about you. Oh, yes, I heard you today's about you. Oh, you, and what do you need? You know what you're right. I mean, sometimes I feel like the podcast could focus on me a little bit more. Yes, yes. Tell us how you're feeling. Yeah, how you feeling, buddy?

How you feeling, buddy? What? On. On. On. On. You want a breath over? Everybody's. I don't. I don't know what band you're talking about. On. You want a bone? What? On. You want a bone? Do you want a fuck? Do you want a smoothie? You're a very good boy. You're a very good boy. Good boy. You want to suck on a frog? Good boy. I'm more confused than usual. What's got something is wrong. Everyone is being too nice to me. And also you're doing great. You're doing great on me. You're giving me that rolled up newspaper. Bad, bad Arnie. Now, we just have to discipline you until you sort of come to your senses and realize that perhaps your situation has changed.

Slowly realize your station and life has changed. Except that this new have I been demoted as a professor at Jislab school for young wizards. If I might no longer professor, you can. Well, I don't know the status of our jobs at the moment because we left two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Right? I mean, it's winter break, so we could go back. The wind is a week on the podcast.

Yes, yes. We've been trying, for some time, we've been trying to revive you. Yes, you were temporarily, temporarily frozen in time because you had been stabbed with a big nasty sword by terrific, putting a bit of a sword in your chest. I feel like if I had a sword in my chest, I would feel it. I mean, I do feel something weird bob forward in your chest. I feel like if I had a sword in my chest, I would feel it.

I mean, I do feel something weird bobbing in my head. Okay, well just in case, just in case you can't remember, I wrote a small song about it. Oh, okay, let's just do that. All right, sure. I mean, normally we'd maybe play that during the break, but go ahead, let's go ahead.

Yeah. Obsidian sword, deep in your chest. That's all I had. It's good. I was mostly worried about you. Oh, okay. Yeah, you know what, Chant, we're looking for somebody to do an acoustic set here at the smoothie bar.

Maybe you could, you know, help us out some nights. Live and unplugged. Oh, Connie, you've opened a smoothie bar? I have. Yes, yes, yes. Would you like one? I think I would like one. Okay, well please tell me anything you want Arnie anything for you.

Oh gosh, could I have blueberry and, you know, let's put some greens in it. No, we're out of green. Out of green? Green! In a swamp can you imagine? Yes, Dor, with a what, fuck did Arnie start liking greens? I don't know, it might be part of his confused state at the moment. Something's up. I don't trust this mug.

Here you go Arnie, here's blueberry and spelt. How's he gonna drink this? Why? Let's all watch this mug train drink from him. This mug is exactly the same size as me. This is a learning opportunity. Like, look at an amir, huh, bud? What? And Connie, why do you have such huge novelty mugs?

Oh, wha- I'm a Joker. I've always been one. Ah-ha! Gotta handle it to you. Watch this, watch this. Why don't you try picking it up with one of your hands? Well, you know, I don't like moving, but... You can do it.

You can't do it. What I can do is kind of wobble. Mm-hmm. Okay. I've made it pretty similar toble. Mm-hmm. OK. Yeah. Pretty similar to before. I mean, we're walking you right up to it. Uh-huh.

And now he's going to notice the changes. OK. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Pretty obvious at this point. OK. There's living hands. My legs.

All right. My arms must have fallen asleep for some time. Hey, hands. Or else sometimes if I go to the back of my legs, fall asleep. But I'm weird. That's un oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, nope, thank you, not citing that deal. You're a little bit dirt. Ah, boy. You know, you tried to do something nice, support of the acoustic career, and this is what you get.

What do you know? Everyone has to hustle and find gigs. It's just part of the business. You should arm keeping your gold. Fine. So, Claudia, tell me, how has life been treating you since? Hanksface, like, what led you to eventually put down roots here in the swamp? Well, you know, I just thought it was lovely here, all the trees, all the weeping swamp guts.

And I thought, well, it's just would be a wonderful place to make smoothies. You know, all my amulets got destroyed, so I thought, let's have something a little gentler on the stomach. I mean, I can still do magic. Take a break. But, yeah, I thought maybe something a little gentler, a little kinder. Here, let me twist you so you can see Claudia little better. Oh, Claudia, you're huge. Well, and Arnie recognized Jesus.

I know I've gained a couple pounds, but criminy. Recognize the language you said or used. He said, I'm gonna twist you a little bit. Anything funny there? Take your time. Just unpack that. I'm gonna twist you so you can see Kuala. How we do when Chubby checker ponds are so hard. Okay.

I gotta say that's about the only one I know. I mean, if anything, I would have jumped on. You twist me again. Yeah, okay. It's summer, but that's sort of it. It's the same one. Very similar, yeah. Yeah, okay. Summer, but that's sort of it. Yeah. That's the same one. Very similar, yeah.

Yeah, not really a pun run as much as like, your current physical state is. I don't, don't shame me for how wide I am. You just shamed me, big softy. Oh, I'm sorry, Claudia. You look great. I'm just, you're just taller. You know, maybe I'm getting shorter.

Maybe, maybe know, maybe I'm getting shorter. Maybe, maybe shorter, maybe, uh, maybe you're a little, uh, 22 ounce bitch, huh? A little 22 ounce, huh? He's right, Donald. You're a little 22 ounce bitch. Oh my God, 22 ounce bitch. I know exactly what that means.

My spirit's been thrown into a teaky mug. Bingo! Ah!HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH of golden hair. Fill him up again. Right, blueberry and spelt coming right up. Put another piece of golden here, that makes three gold pieces. Yeah, that's right. Now, you said you're out of greens. Do you have any purples? Yeah, I got a couple of purples in there. Let me, I diddley do and squirrely squat. Here we go. Suck it down.

Hello, for the Magic Tavern. Well, this is a really interesting shot. I know you love to interrupt my intro. This is very similar one time I was a woodchuck. What's my woodchuck? And I had this day, this woodchuck day where it just kept reliving the same moments over and over. I tried to throw myself off a bridge. I tried to learn piano all for nothing. A real show of a day. How did you finally get out of that? I don't think I did.

You're still in it? I think this has been one of my dreams. Can I ask, Charlie, I know I want to get back to my intro, but can I ask how many woodchuck days could a woodchuck have if a woodchuck could have days? In my mind, I thought that was going to sound better. Funny. Is that your new catchphrase? In my mind, I thought that was gonna sound better. Funny. Is that your new catchphrase? In my mind I thought that was funny.

I mean you could put that after everything I said. Looks like we have our second to ony t-shirt. 22 ounce bitch. 22 ounce bitch. Oh my god I know what that means. My soul's been put into a teaky mug. No! Okay guys.

With yeast screams. So there's like a regular screen, and then there's like this throaty choke, and I can't tell where that's coming from. Has he always scream like that? Ah, it might be the cup. We have might be the Yu-Vila expanding. Well, perhaps we should...

Guess I'll make another smoothie. Hell, no witches, days work. Hey, here's another gold piece. Thank you. I'm cleaning a gold piece. another gold piece. Thank you. A gold piece. Two gold pieces. Thank you.

You're really... Wait a minute. Actually, should be closer to five. You're really exhausting me of all my ingredients here. I think we should place a suggestion inside of Arnold's mind before we wake him up again. Then let's him know and remember where he's at and not rest restart the podcast.

Okay. Or once he awakes. Yes, the brainstorm. I'll start the podcast. Oh, that's a great idea. Here, fill him up again. Okay, here we go. There you go.

Blueberry in purpose. Hello and welcome to the Magic Tavern, a podcast from the place in that time. And that's real fun. My name's Arne, and this is my friend Chant, and here's Yusudor the Wizard. I am Yusudor. Wizard of the 12th realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights,

Dimbo, Ruf Chaos, Champion of the Great Holes of Trockus, I felt the role. And this is our Gess of Tiki Muggies, and I'm moon and the North This is our guest of the show, Tiki Miggies. I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it was a guest, I thought it Oh, and here I am with all my fabulous friends. Ha ha! I'm Arnie. Oh ho ho. Totally natural, keeping it natural, wavering. Oh my God, I was burning.

Who am I? You're Tiko, the talking Tiki bug. Oh. Your friends with Mayor Manana, although he's very afraid he's going to end up in you someday. What? He's just a banana. So Tiko, tell us about, uh, what's your story? Oh, um...

Clearly you've big, uh, mug your whole life, so that's not needed to talk about, but... Yeah, I guess so. If I've been a mug my whole life, it's nothing for me to freak out about and hop my essence out of my mug. Ha! Yeah, man, don't hop your essence out of your mug! T-shirt number three. Ha! Yeah, man, don't hop your ass inside of your mug! T-shirt number three! Well, um, I don't know, I'm a Tiki mug like any other, I guess. I'm just a 22 ounce bitch. Um, careful, wait, careful. Careful, step tread lightly.

I'm almost out of blue berries. Here's the last test. I'm going to turn him around so he can see his old body. Oh, I've been there, Swim suit season. Am I right? Hey, amen, sister. Oh boy. Here we go. Tico. Yeah. I'm going to chute around, show you something. Okay.

You want to, just, you get ready to take a look at this. Just take a deep breath, Tiki. I'm full of rum. I'll be fine. Oh, something's never changed. If I had a teaky mug. Just take a deep breath, teaky. I mean, you can take a huge amount. I'm full of rum, I'll be fine. Oh, some things never change. If I had a dollar. Yeah, we go. There you go. Oh, I have a bottle of tea.

How about that handsome dead guy? That's, did Mike point him in the right direction? I think so. The handsome with a dead part. They both threw me. That was all. Oh, I thought you were Arnie. That was a wonderful impression. I'm a witch.

This is Claudia the witch. Hello. Hello. Your friend. Oh, I'm so sorry. I guess I wish I could remember more about being me. Well, I used to have a long haircut. Now I have more of a 70'shag.

Oh, looks good. Thank you. Yeah what what led you to decide to cut your hair? Well you know I could do anything I want with it because I'm a witch see. Oh holy cow mo. Dorothy Hamill. Is that what they call Mo. Yep. Yep. Looks good. Thanks. You know as a teaky mug I just have this crazy grimace on my face all the time and I don't know what to do about that.

Well, you just have to remember that you're making other people happy. Oh. And that it's not necessarily all about, uh, or how you're, uh, portraying yourself on the outside, but how you feel on the inside. Yes, one man's grimace is another man's toothy smile. Very true. Or very true. Tiko, Tiko, Tiko, Tiko, I feel like we could be best friends though. Slow down buddy. I mean sure, I'm not asking you to be Pauli D'Camp. I'm just saying, I want to be friends.

I'm not asking you to be Pauli D'Camp. I'm just saying, I want to be friends. I'm not asking you to be Pauli D'Camp. I'm just saying, I want to be friends. I'm not asking you to be Pauli D'Camp. I'm just saying, I want to be friends. I'm not asking you to be Pauli D'Camp. I just I'm just saying I want to be friends. You're a good friend.

Great. Is it? Super. You're a good friend. Nice. Oh everybody's drinking from the cup of friendship. What happens if someone tries to drink me like am I the drink or am I just the mug to be honest We don't know oh god philosophy. I mean am I this collection of flesh that happens to be walking upon this world right now Or am I an effervescent spirit born of another realm? Yeah, it's the second one do candles give off light or they're doing suck in darkness? Maybe the drink doesn't exist. It's just a metaphor for what we think of as ourselves, but really I'm just a mug. No, we saw a party and make the drink.

Oh, okay. Oh, good. In my case, just to clarify, I'm definitely the second one. Okay, yes. I'm a weird angel from another universe in the form of a human Shape to be a wizard here um Tiko Used or the wizard over here and myself. We're talking and we thought maybe the three of us could start a podcast called talking Tiko Sure, and I'm Tiko and your Tiko Yeah, you'd be one the co host not the not the lead host but a co Sure, which one? Which in the series like do you can you give me an example of three co-hosts

and what their pecking order is and which one I would be? Sure. You'd probably be sort of like an O-Talk barley foot, probably thinking we're going to use you a lot at the beginning and then maybe you sort of fall off after a little bit. Yeah. Within three hours. So you're saying I deserve better? Yes. For sure. You know, there's gonna be the meat, the potatoes, and the parsley. Oh, I'll take the meat. The which is the meat?

The lime, the potatoes. And then you and I are parsley. Oh, so we're sharing. Sheer's spring. Frenchips, sprigs. Mmm. Sure. Frenchips, sprigs, eternal. For I, like that stochachuba, will give thee the strength and the endurance to move on

as we go forth to fight evil wherever in the rear its ugly head. How does talking Tiko start up, sorry, I'm just a little, I'm a strict talker. It's a real succinct intro and it just goes, hello, and then we immediately get into it. Okay. Do you want to try it? You try it out? Hello. Then immediately release the Lorraine's.

Then the listenership will know who we are, so we just start talking, we don't have to do anything else. Okay, hello! No, I don't like that upward inflection. Hello, hello, hello. Maybe just hey. Hello!

Let's say it back to him. Hello, hello, hello. Do it like a witch. Hello! I like, well, that was... Hello! That's not the best fight. Do it like a witch. Oh, I like, well, that was. Oh. That's not too bad. And that do it like feats people entering a door at different heights.

Okay, I guess if you, well, I trust you guys, you look like you know what good content is. So let me see here. Let's see here. Hello, hello, hello. Oh, that was nice. That was nice. Very good. I think maybe it's time to walk him up to the rest of this reality.

Uh, Tiko. Hello. What if I told you, now that we're doing an episode of talking Tiko and we're getting to know Tiko, what do you, what do you remember about yourself? You want to those normal questions you ask in an interview? What do you remember about yourself? No, it's just one of these things you're testing to see how much I was paying attention to this conversation. My name is Tico. You just said, I am a Tiki mug.

I have liquid in me because the witch poured it into me. Good memory. I've got a podcast called Tuckentico, that starts with, hello. I don't know, what else should I remember about myself? Is there anything from the past, maybe, something that you care about, or what? What's next, or what's next?

Salad tomorrow. Come on massage that brain. What's next, I feel like it resonates a lot more with me. I feel like salad tomorrow seems like a fleeting thing from a live episode. No, the better it hurts. But you're a Tiki mug sitting on this very table. On this very table. I like that sounds good. Chicago. You do bad witch impression.

Yeah, this is all resonating with me a lot. You remember also that you are very frustrated when someone interrupts my list of titles. Oh, I'm losing it. No, no, I'm sorry, I miss, but you like interrupting my long list of titles, remember that? Oh, yes. Do caucus.

Oh, I'm sorry, Tico. I'm losing our email, that, yeah. Tico, Tico, don't forget, we've been talking for a little bit, so you're gonna throw it to break now. Okay. Do you remember how I did that? I know I've only been conscious for a couple of minutes, but it seems like we've blown way past

when the break time should be, but yeah, just, yeah, okay. So you would say, I would say, take a break. We're gonna, we're going to take, we're gonna take, quick to take a quick break. A quick break. Wow, instinctual. And we'll be right back. And we'll be right back.

No, I'm sorry. No, no, I'm sorry. After these messages. Be right back. Back. Like riding a bike. And we're back. And we're back.

Welcome back to Taken Tico. Even that was too long. Oh, hello. Taken Tico. Taken Tico. Hello. All right, so I'm going to take my responsibility. I'm very much drawn to these microphones,

although they're gigantic. I'm going to really try to make the best podcast I can. So... That's great. What a great way of going about teaky life. Oh, very good. Oh, good. And you know what, you seem like the best guests.

Like these other two, they seem like co-hosts. You know, they seem like flair. You know what I mean? Like you want to run all the time, but you don't want to spend too much time focusing directly on them. Oh, dare you. Guess I'm a bit of a nature boy.

But I'd love to hear a little bit more about being a witch, what your life is like, or even just like cool stories you've heard. Oh cool stories I heard. You even have to take your luck, you still the best, you said all. Yeah, she really knows how to draw it out of people, you know. Witch stories. Well, you know. If it helps you. Uh, well, you know. If it helps you loosen up, I got a straw sticking out of my head.

It's a little bit of rum in here. Oh, I need to take that tape. I mean, Tiko. Tiko. Okay, I listen, I'm never going to turn down any rum. Tiko, you might want to use one of my questions as well. What do you remember about yourself? Sure.

Claudio, what do you remember about yourself? Well, I will say, as a teenage witch. I had it hard. You know, it wasn't allowed to have a cat or any animals. The spider was when I was much smaller. Oh, you had a spider when you were small? Yes, I think you missed this from... Who was the spider today?

Eat me. Eat me? Eat me! No. Did you live with your two ants? I did. I lived with my two ants, yes. A spider and two ants? Mm-hmm.

Yes, my two ants. Sally and Griswolda. Griswda Griswalda beautiful Sally not so much. No, just a lump of mosh. Oh Yes, yes, yes, her ex-husband turned her into just a big lump of mosh when she turned 300 Was that where the band name comes from was she in in Lump of Mars? She was. You know what she was. She was one of the first female band members of Lump of Mars. Oh, very good. That band's been around for 1,000 years. I said, many members.

So grew up with two ants, and then I moved out on my own, and I opened my store, of course, which some of you have been to. Now I'm here, a single, you know. And you know, just hanging out in the swamp, and so these store stays open all night. Yeah. Claudic, can I ask, and you know, is just like a friendly conversation over a drink. Have you had much love in your life? Well, you're talking about being single. Like, have you had many relationships in the past? I have only bedded 10 wizards. Oh, is that?

I was gonna say a lot of it when you said these doors stay open all night. You clansed down to your legs. I guess that does have a double meaning. You've bedded 10 wizards. Is that like a good amount? Or is that one of those things where I like? What, you bedded? Wizards, you gotta subtract and which is bad.

You betted Ted and Wizards or Ted Wizards? Ted Wizards. Okay, because Ted Wizards is a fucking joke. Oh, he's a joke, you know? Have you seen some of his infomercials? I'm Ted Wizards and I'll sleep with you. I'm Ted Wizards and I'll say, I'm like, he's up Teddy

So first there was Jake Mm-hmm, and then there was he's gonna let me know if you know any these fellas. Okay first. I was Jake Uh-huh, and then there was Bing Bong Oh, I like this guy. Then there was bones Lee Bones Lee. I think I think bones Lee is another name for Blorth the Brown. Oh, I see. Yes. Oh, do you know him? Oh, yes, very well That's so he's he's been depressed for many many years because of me. I don't know Then there was green swath Buddy Just go in my name. I feel like you have a type. What is what kind of type what do you think starts with the letter B?

Well, there was a green swath all of them like Jake Jake is the most out of your like different But you know, that's your first wizard. Oh, right in green swath. I mean, you know that was during a period where you know I was hitting the bottle a little bit. You know if you knew green swath. Yeah, but bones, buddy, Bing Bong, whatever. Yes, and green swathed, warloin cloth. Oh, you give me some racket about that, but I don't, you know, it was cut in nice actually. Sounds like he has gangres. Gangs get a little bit, little bit in his balls. Ooh, that's unpleasant.

You probably need a loin cloth, just to hear that out. Yes, you do. So I think that was six. And then there was blue blood. There was B. And that was actually number eight. It was B. That I moved under the seas. It's crotch-nank.

One of my teachers at the Great Halls of Tarakas. You're kidding me. No, that's true. Isn't it so weird, you used to know when you find out that your teachers have like a social life outside of teaching? Yes, it is Tiko. It's very weird to find out things that you didn't know before, but you come to accept them and then move on with your life.

Nice. That's why he's not a guest. Answering like I get it now. I get it now. I get it now. Although actually, you know, you seem a little uptight, you said, or if you want, you want to drink some from my head?

Suck his head. Yeah. It's good. No, all right. I don't know. Mm. Mm. That's actually very good Claudia.

Thank you. Lucy Goosey. Thank you. Wow. This is very social. This is one of those podcasts, probably where people drink. Chunch, you wanna suck me? Ooh, I got past. Go ahead, finish it off.

Come on, Chunch. We've been down that road and it doesn't seem like it's in the cards. All right, that was your chance. Oh, give him a rum, Tom Tugger. Come on, finish him off. Come on, Chunch. Finish him off.

Tug away. Sucker. Give us aug away. Sucka. Give us a happy ending. Sucka Roo. You catch it at the worst. So what's next? There it is. There it is.

Did you hear what you just said? What's next? Oh, he's glowing. The Tiki Mucks glowing. Wow. Oh no, sorry, just caught the candlelight. Wow. And I'll take another suck.

Pfft. Truth and knows is so weird Well, I have three you're snorting a room out of me. Oh, it's not the first time Can I ask and I embarrassed that I don't know the answer to this? What happens when my drink is all drunk? Now the philosophy question Well when your drink is drunk Your heart is sank., when your drink is drunk, your heart is sank. When your drink is drunk, your body starts to sank. When your drink is drunk, you should or shall arrive.

Freeze you temporarily in time and fight to bring you back to life. Yeah, he shall not give up. He shall fight and fight. Right. Regardless of whatever cost there is. Crank. Any strife. You could pick anyone. Oh, see, Claudio is why he's now a guest. He's got a lot of choices there. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I would be a wonderful guest on this podcast. I have so many interesting stories. Book. Wonderful, antique, dots. Answer should be interesting. I sing wonderful songs every episode.

They ain't cut out. Yusador has the best antidotes. Have you got poisons? I have the best antidotes. Yusador, now that we're getting a little shit rocked here, I, you know, I heard a rumor recently. What's that? You weren't invited into some wizard guild

where you got thrown out. It's not a rumor. He's right, it's not a rumor. He's right, it's not a rumor. It's the truth? Yes, with Jen Levy, I started a new wizard's guild and didn't decide to include me. Oh, Jen Levy, I've heard a couple things about her. Uh-oh, have a dish.

Oh, dirty robes. Oh. Oh. That makes sense. She's a wizard of nature and nurture. And so she tends to roll around in the dirt in the macken You know get it on with My coons on like yeah to be fair you live in a swamp and ate a spider

But Yes, it was my pet spider. His name was eat me. Did anything happen when you ate him? Did you grow bigger grow smaller? I did have a couple of spider legs for a couple of weeks But that was of my own doing I think Jen leave you also just in shape a choo I think you know that I don't mind that Arnie I'm sorry Tiko. Yeah, a chooach of course is a No, I don't know how to spin this a chooach is, I just a a Tuch is like a vagina. Oh

Actually a tuch is the rigid spine on top of a doro the hammer sure that one Like a mohawk right you guys did great there. I get a tuchuck see Claudio. This is one of these two our guests We should probably Read some emails and move on. Ohiko, do you have your phone? I can't. Do you have your tablet? I can't really move. Where with my phone? Be I don't know. Do you have any emails? I didn't have time to look because I was concerned about a friend of mine. My best friend, something happened to my best friend. Gosh, I hate you.

Now, I know that maybe this is the kind of thing you don't want to talk about on the podcast, but it might be interesting. What, what, what are you going through, buddy? Well, my best friend was, and this might be, everyone might be going through the same thing. This is pretty universal problem. My best friend was stabbed in the chest by a obsidian sword by a collection of hundreds of snakes. Sure, yeah.

Pretty universal. I hear you. And if you just recognize my emotional state, plus what happened to my friend, surely you can put one in one together. Yeah. You know, my best friend. Tico, can you put one in one together? Four.

Oh, that's bad. That's bad. What reason about your friend? Well, my best friend is a giant glass, like fishbowl, filled with seven or eight different kind of layers. Like a rainbow bowl. Yeah. That sounds good.

All right, imagine. I guess I'm a teahy mug. Sure. But you're more than that. Give yourself some credit. Oh, I am. Yeah, people love you. You're great.

People miss you and they love you. They're worried about you. They've been very worried about you these last two weeks on Twitter. I have to assume. It's Twitter. Tickles, are you have a very nice empathetic way about you? Asking questions, active listening, emotional intelligence. That's it.

Wow, Claudia. Thank you. I think you're good. I put a gold coin in there. What the? Tico, anything coming to mind? Tico? I think my name isn't Tico.

Here we go. Yes. I think. It's T-Comb. Oh, again, I thought that was not that. T-Comb, that was funny. Like your head that was funny. T-Comb, I don't want to go just Tarnald.

Wait, although that feels like it's closer. Tarnald, here we go. Okay, everyone hold hands. He's holding it together slowly. The gears are turning. The gears are turning. T-Camp. T-Camp. Pallini camp. The gears are turning. T camp. T camp.

Paul and he camp. Come on, you can do it. T in. You can do it. T thing. Don't, don't, don't, don't throw up. T thing. I can't resist.

Tiki Piver. Tiki Piver. Oh, Jim Varnie is my favorite actor. Ternest. Come on, come on. Damn it, wrong way. Yes, and the importance of being turnus is... A movie when people ask me about, I say, oh yeah, I saw that, but I didn't. Oh, I'm from Earth.

Oh, I'm not a deep mug. Yes, put it together. I'm a guy from Chicago. Connect those red strings, You two ounce bitch. Oh He's a together You sit on chun. Yes, Claudia. Hello. What happened to me? Why is there a sword sticking out of my chest and my essence is I think that's exactly the right way to describe it right My essence hopped into a teaky mug.

Yeah, perfect. Yeah, it goes good. Nice. Think about it. Yeah. How temporary is this? Well, it is temporary as we make it. If we find a way to cure your body and put you back inside, then...

Oh, I'm getting worried again once again. Okay, why are you not making eye contact with me? No, he's just too... His eyes have been acting up. We're, make it, uh, figure it out. We're trying, we're trying. But I just want to say, bravo. That's the fastest you've ever figured anything out. Oh, thank you.

Thank you. All right, but anyway, we set everything up. Let's begin. Hello from the magic. Oh, I guess we just turned the tiki mug to face the body. Four years ago, I thought it was a long time. Oh my goodness. Claudio, it's been nice having you,

but we're turning his microphones off. There's pile of ink blots. I thought that was next. I was going to show him a couple. Next time. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your hospitality.

Well, thank you for your gold... Damn it. Where the gold go, chun! The frog's gone too. Oh, what you for your gold, damn it. The frog. The gold gold, chunt. The frog's gone too. Oh, what? Don't take my tip jar. Play any acoustic set at the smoothie shack at midnight. Playing acoustic set at the, wait a minute,

you convinced me, chunt, I'll see you at midnight. Yes, yes ma'am. Damn it. I got a really good just a tip jar, but I'm not facing the mic. Here, turn around. Now it's now where they actually set it. Well, you I'm not facing the mic. Hey, are you trying to run out? Now it's not worth actually seeing. No! Well, you already said it to be fair.

Do we edit this thing? Not much. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hmm, a lot of confusing stuff to put in my report. Needcamp is not dead, kind of. His essence isn't a teaky mug. There's a swamp on the outskirts of Grimfall and yeah, okay. Ah, sorry, I can finish writing my report later. Usador The Wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant The Talking Badger was played by Adolf Rafei.

Claudia The Witch was played by Special guest Beth Maluski. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Matt Young, and Adolf Rafei, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, earwolf producer Kimmy Lucas. This episode, edited by Garrett Schultz, Special Assistant Ryan DeGeorgie. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Aller LeBan, Magic Tavern theme by Andy Polin. Oh boy, I wonder if Phase 4 is still going into a factory need like a tiki mug phase

in between. I don't know, no one tells me anything. Well, see you next week! You