Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 3, Ep 37 - She Said

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

Moving through the jungle to find Strong Guy himself, Arnie, Chunt, and Usidore encounter the alluring trickster She-Said!CreditsSword Guy: Arnie NiekampNight Shift: Adal RifaiWizard Man: Matt YoungShe-Said: Sarah ShockeyMysterious Man: Tim SniffenTricia: Kate JamesLincoln: Evan JacoverProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Chris RathjenSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandIsland Theme: Sage G.C.You can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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collide in a game of life and death. Binge all 10 episodes of Academy, early and ad-free, on Wondery Plus. Hey everyone, thanks for coming out to the improv pantry. I'm Trisha and I'm going to get things started. In a moment, I'll ask you for a suggestion of a word or a phrase and then my team is going to do a series of scenes or monologues inspired by that phrase. Well, except for Rich, who only quotes Borat. But anyway, who has a phrase to get us started? Betraying your boss, then leaving him to rot in Spacejail.

Oh no. Also, is that sweater really stage worthy? Hang on everybody, I have a personal matter to attend to. Guys, maybe start with that half-hour mirror exercise we've been working on. What are you doing here? Did you even pay the $5 cover charge? Uh he said he was gonna put five singles on stage and take one away each time he didn't laugh. I think I mean. You remember Lincoln don't you? He says you've met. Yeah, hi. Look, I was gonna explore the planet and check back in with you, but then I found my true calling.

What? Saying grape juice over and over again? That's where your teammates have been doing for three minutes now. They're exploring and heightening the language. Look, I don't have to justify any of this to you. I have a show to do. Yes, at the improv pantry. Is that where they keep the improv ingredients to make improv bouillardais? I admit it, it's not the best theater, but laugh marathons and comedy

fortress weren't auditioning. This is how you have to break into the biz. What about your mission? We have a cross-dimensional broadcast to intercept and lie about. Oh, and eventually infiltrate Talon to rescue mission. Yes, and the thing Lincoln still thinks we're going to help with. Wait, why? I don't know. No, we're not going to. Well, why not have a listen to remember what you walked away from? Lincoln, you have the portable relay? Right here in my backpack, sir.

Oh, let me just power it up. Hurry up, and half an hour we asked the audience for a trauma they barely survived, and then we sing a song about it. No problem. Sit back. Or stand here in the lobby of what is clearly a failed, falafel shop with two wobbly platforms that it doesn't chairs and enjoy the show. Oh, it's always tough when we do these when we're actually walking. Uh, whoo, hey, hello from the Magic Tavern!

A weekly podcast from the magical land of food, I'm your host. Arnie, you can't, if you've never listened to the podcast before. Who, usually a lot of you... Hey, Arnie, wait up! So, you took 10 steps outside of the pub we were just at. Yeah, how you doing? Are we heading out? Yeah, I thought everyone was with me.

I thought we were going to walk more. Oh, you saw an eye decide to give your head start. Um, just because, just so we see the catch up. I left like two hours ago. Okay, yeah, well anyway, we're walking towards the center of Strong Island trying to find. Strong guy. Oh, what is they talking about?

Oh, you're doing the introduction. Oh, yeah. I'm going gonna save my breath a little bit. Um, here, won't you? I'm gonna... Ugh! Turn into a giraffe, here. Won't you hop on my back? Oh! This is probably the best animal to traverse a jungle through, right? Um, giraffe? Hop on!

That's a lot. It's hard. I mean, your legs are very long. How am I even gonna get up there? Let me crane down my neck and scoop you up. I just put you into a tree. Sorry. Sorry. I'm in a tree. Hey.

Hello. Do your intro. Uh, hey. Hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the magical land of food. I'm your host, Darni. Camp, if you've never listened to the podcast before. I'll blow him down here.

Everything you need to know. About five years and seven weeks ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional ref to this splinter in my face.

Follow me this way. And I use it to upload a podcast. I record Emerson, turn into a boss. That's a half-bedger half horse hop on my back now no look weird I Look weird chronicling our quest to defeat the dark lord and I am joined as always by my freaky weird look at Your body I'll be a hadger now. I'm half horse half-bedger It's so weird. So you're a more man on top and a horse on bottom. That's not

How'd you get that? Oh fuck now I understand what's his name was going through I just like it when you're my when you're my adorable badger buddy, okay? There I turned into a 20-foot badger Okay, you up put your own shoulder and off we go. It's kind of cool. Also, I mean we're on this island of And off we go! It's kinda cool. Also, I mean, we're on this island of crazy strong warriors. Like, I guess it makes you fit in where if you're a giant badger.

Mm-hmm. But my voice is booming! Yeah. You said, how are you doing? Oh, I'm excellent. I'm just looking forward to get into the center of Strong Guy Island, where we will meet Strong Guy himself.

Right before we left, I saw Week Guy and I said we're going to find Strong Guy and he said, Good luck, wink. You saw, you just keep running into Week Guy. Can I say something? I think you're running into wink Guy. Oh, is that wink Guy? Yeah, everything he says he ends up the wink. Oh, maybe I did hear that wrong. Also, and I don't know if this is something you're open to.

I sort of think we guys into you. You think so? I think so. I think he's pointing out a lot of signals and gosh, it would be bad to misconstru those. So I think it's good to just kind of- How did you meet Misconstrue? No, who's Misconstrue?

You're Misconstrue. Oh, she was great. Nice little lady at the bar. Oh, okay. Everything she does, she is magic. I hate to say this, and this is normally not the kind of thing I would say, because it's kind of disrespectful, but everything she does turns me on.

Hmm. Wow Arnie, you're being very straightforward. I know, it's tragic. My love for her goes on. My love life is already so complicated. Between gum, crust, and and Genelevia the Red, I can't get involved with Wink guide right now. Yeah, I feel the same way. My husband blew up at our wedding. I feel like we all have similar love lives, right? But you know, you know, you've had relationships with a

bunch of strong women. Why not try having a relationship with a weak guy? Ooh. I'm not sure what you're going for there. I don't know, you're just opposites. All right. Well, also, it's soon the wizards must have a council. And if I show up there dating anyone, Chenelevia will be furious with me. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, did you just, oh, did you just mimic in Chenelevia?

No, no, no, no, no. Do that again, did you just mimic and gently, yeah? No, no, no, no, no, no. Do that again. Did you just do her laugh? No, I didn't do it. I said I didn't do it. Oh, can we finally hear our listeners? What is going on? Is it because I'm 20 feet tall? Let me shrink back down the normal size. Oh, sorry, Arnie, I should have dropped you off first, sorry.

As a street fall down. I sense something in the jungle, in the depths. You... Okay. Wait, you sense something? It's the voice you've heard, maybe? Yes. Yeah, we all hear it, you said, or? I know, but...

You're not overly perceptive. But there's something more to it. Some deep hidden power. All right, all of us, back to back to back. Reveal yourself, stranger. Start to circle as we triangle each other's backs Pack us equipment over here. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh? Yes, sir. Can't tell if she's being sarcastic, but thank you. I am Yusodor, Wizard of the Twelfth Realm of Ephesius Master of Light and Shadow, manipulator of magical delights, devourer of chaos. Devour...

Champion of the Great Halls of Turokis, the elves nomis fying elic. The dwarves nomis are Zodorohoog stengis, and I am known in the northeast as Gaspwini's Mastar, but here upon Strong Guy Island, I am known as Wizardban. Yeah, and, um, my name is Shant, and I'm a bif... Baffer... Sh... I'm sorry. My name is Chant, I'm a shapeshifter, I'm sorry, I'm a little out of sorts.

I'm also known as Night Shift. I am Arnie, I'm from another world, and I'm willing to discard my secondary name. Say your three weirdos. You're an amazing man. You're a man, aren'tos. Yeah, she gets us. Yes, Arnie, this girl is hot. Girl, I'm sorry, I think I'm a woman.

This woman is way hot. Yeah, oh guys, let's be a little more respectful about this. She is very, very attractive. A young lady, what is your name? I think you mean old woman. You're welcome. Somewhere in between. I'm she said, one of the few women on this island.

Wait, that's what she said. That's what my name is. She said. That's the fellow who plays third base. Ah, that's come you! He played his cards, right? What about you? I don't have any cards. Arnie, do you have any cards?

I don't have any cards. Hey, come here. Well, she just dipped into the forest. Let's follow her. Oh, uh, uh, wait, quick, follow me. Off the beaten path, come. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah he, did he, what you got? She said, she said, that's what, that's what, she said, that's what, oh you found me down at my river pond. I said a river pond.

It's a river pond. Huh, it's circular but it goes on for quite a while. Can't it be both? Why have you lowered us here? I didn't lower anybody anywhere. Everybody can do what they're free to do. Oh, you didn't? You didn't. You didn't lower us here so we're off the hook. Why have you lowered us here? I didn't lower anybody anywhere. Everybody can do what they're free to do. You didn't. You did.

Luras here, so we're off the hook. Why am I talking like this? Luras, my sister. How a luring. She is, but she's also kind of dying. We all are the women on this island. Why? There's too many men and they're all too strong.

Kind of dying. Can we kind of help? Yes, if you're dying, I want to assist you. I am a great and powerful wizard. You all have fingernails, don't you? Yeah, I mean, it kind of claws, but yeah. Then you're all kind of dying too. What? Sorry, I don't run. What did I miss?

This is my river pond. River pond? Why don't you take us close off and jump in? Oh, I don't do that. Also, I got a sword through me. I couldn't get this shirt off. I was gonna miss shirt off in a long time even before the sword. Also, we weren't to lure here. This was your choice. Okay. Yeah, just to work there. Yeah. Um, how are we dying because of our fingernails? We're dying because of our fingernails. Hold calm down. Well, that's a dead part of the body.

Pretty soon it'll spread and I'll be dead. So why don't we have a little funnel on the way? I think what she said is saying is that... Yes, please translate what I've said to the other men. Is that everyone's dying a little bit all of the time? There you go. Oh, that's what she said. That's what she said. That's what she meant. Oh, is this she meant here?

She meant. It's pretty hard to ground. That's she meant. It's drying, but yeah. Oh, I'm going to write my name in here. Do, do, do, do. Arnie, if you ever see she meant, write your name in it. It's fun.

She said, we are on a very important quest. And we must find an artifact that the Dark Lord wants. Art of fact, sorry, lo. That the Dark Lord needs to complete his evil plan and to do so we're trying to form an alliance with strong guy. I hear a lot of, here's what we're trying to do and here's what we think we might do. Well, why don't you do it? Well, we were doing our best, but along the way here.

Oh, but all the obstacles we've run into along the way. Yes, exactly. Oh, you men are the same strong men weak men wink men every man Oh, this and that happened to me. Well guess what? I've got an asshole just like all of you guys I think she hates us. I want to have two assholes and so does he. That's right interesting Well every wizard has two buttles. It's well known fact from Every wizard has two buttolls. It's a well known fact from a long time ago. She said, you seem slightly upset with us.

Did we do something to offend you? Nobody's done anything to offend me. I'm just me, I'm just the way I am. It's just me, I'm just obscene. Oh, wow. Oh, and over there across the river pond, is that a, sorry, she said, is that a man cave over there? Oh, that's actually a who man's cave

Who's man's in there right now? You'd have to go over and knock to find out. There's always one in there Who's man who's man? One of the man's that goes in there. That's a fellow's name some of them hmm, but have you seen strong guy? We must find our way to here. I've seen strong Guy. Yeah, I think I've seen Strong Guy. You have? I've been living on Strong Guyland my whole life. Well, do you... He's dated every single one of us.

If we have two nipples in an asshole and are not a man, he's dated us. So he's got a type. Shavin' an asshole. Two nips. Absolutely. We sing that all the time. Me and the gals come down to the river pond sometimes, and we swim all alone when the whose man's cave is empty. Whose man cave? That one right over there.

You're looking at it. Do you mind, and I am so sorry to sort of dig into your personal life, but what was it? Oh, dig it. What was it like to date strong guy? Would you believe that the strongest man on this whole strong Island Still just that a man a strong man sure, but

Every man has their weakness. Oh, what's his? What's his what's his weakness? He's got an interesting situation. Okay? It is brain. Oh Brain if you stab his brain does he die? I mean for most of us. Yeah, oh, I you stab his brain, does he die? I mean, for most of us, yeah. Oh. I think that works for most of us.

Try stabbing mine. I won't let you, but you can try. I will use that. He's got an interesting situation in his brain, so... Brain cancer? I would say his brain's all scrumbled and jumbled, and it might have to do with the muscles. I don't want to say more, because I haven't dated any one of you.

The only time I tell secrets is when I'm dating someone. Do you want to be dating us or not? Get out of here! Why would you ask that? How dare you? You sell secrets? She said sell secrets on the river puncher? She said sells whatever she said wants to sell. And right now I'm out of plum everything except for tails and twittles and rhymes. Oh I love plum-fabric stuff. Oh guys my brain doesn't run either A lot of you strong man, and I would include you in this

That's extremely generous scramble up in the head. We're all scrambled up in the head I think so yeah, yeah, you know what I'll say it. You're all scrambled up in the head If I were in charge of this island, I'd tell you what I'd do I'd fold it all up and throw it in the trash and start over. What would your new island be like? Oh, it'd be full of paths. Like the one we were on that you met us on? Oh, yes, but more.

And some of them would be labeled with a red circle or some of them would be a blue triangle. And then we might have chairs that would float you up to the top of the paths and then you could sort of slide back down to get to the paths again. That sounds nice. I like it. It's a dream but I don't have the resources. I mean it sounds nice unless you got to do that every day to get to work. I'm sensing you don't like effort. No, she gets me. It's a terrifying thing once she said starts to understand.

Oh diving into the river pond! Whoa! She jumped so high and didn't make a splash when she entered. Hey, well, there was a little bit of a sound. What? I would just give it our own or something to do. I didn't know. I didn't say there was an a-sign, I said she didn't make a splash.

Oh, but it made a sound. What was the sound? I missed it. It was, uh, it was this sound. Gah! Whoa! Wow, Her hair just like whipped back. Whipped back and there was a cascade of water. It was almost like she did it slightly in slow motion. Yes, I felt time slow down as well. Do you have time altering powers? No, but I do sing a few songs that drive the men wild. I love to hear one.

You would love to hear one. Well, you can't just demand me to sing a song. I'll sing a few songs that drive the men wild. I love the hair one. You would love to hear one. Well, you can't just demand me to sing a song. I'll sing when I'm done well ready. I did, but I didn't. And once the whose man cave is empty, because I don't know who's in there right now, and whoever it might be would come out and steal my song, and then that's the end of me.

She said, I don't want to take this opportunity away from you. Would you mind describing for our listeners what you look like? Thank you. First of all, these things you're carrying around, they capture sound, they capture souls, what are they? Oh, yeah, these are recording. It is for a podcast, I suppose. Would you mind signing this release?

You'll give me a pen. And I don't want it to end in is. I've been tricked by that before. A strong guy himself offered me a pen is and I said, I don't want one. I want a regular pen. Here's a quill, then that won't work. Wait, would you mind writing again?

Well, I sure. What do you want me to say? Some sort of poem? Here we go. She sort of draws like a character in a Mario game talks. Now read it. Read the poem I wrote you. I can't read.

Wait, that's what it says. What did you think you fall for at Badger Man? I guess so. I mean, if someone can't read, can they write? I think since she said the leaves are brains are all scramble scrambled, if she just writes down some scramble scramble, our brains are able to turn it into words! Wait, I think I know what's going on.

She can't read, but she can write. Write is wrong. Wrong song, she doesn't want to sing. Now you've a lot for the song. Ding, ding, dong, and everybody knows it's time for the siren song. Whop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoopop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop whop wh I know and I usually don't move at all Well, I didn't expect to get wet from that song, but I sure did That's what she said that's what she does he said you didn't want to get wet Yeah, I mean to get wet. Yes, that's what she said. Yeah, I didn't expect to get wet from that song Wait what huh?

Why are you saying that no? These waters are full of a merry potion that makes everyone exceptionally fun. Oh, a merry potion! I once had an antinemary potion. Really? Yes! What a cheesing! She used to sing a fork full of saline. Um, help.

What is that help with? Huh? What is a fork full of saline? Help the potatoes go down. Oh, because sometimes... Go down what? Go down your gullet. Oh. Don't ask strong guy about his gullet sometimes what go down your go it. Oh Don't ask strong guy about his gullet. He's very sensitive about it. Oh,

sensitive go it. Don't ask strong guy about his Can I ask how does that even come up in the first place? Well, I said don't you want some warm pies down your gullet? And he got very silent He said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent.

And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent.

And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent.

And he said that was your gullet and he said that was your gullet. And he said that was your gullet and he got very silent. And he said I said. Normally, everything I say makes perfect sense. Mm-hmm. Well, there's no sense in these waters. Very little sensibility. Oh, I found a... I've just realized that from the bar that we were at, I packed a little muffin. Let me just dive face first into this muffin.

That's... Maybe that's not that far. Huh? We realized this. Just... How is that muffin dry as a bone? That doesn't seem fair fair it doesn't seem right What magic do you possess what wet suit are you wearing you look naked to me? That's

What she said you said or what the fuck I don't know you said you said Just thing figure out what this is. Oh Disgusting I was supposed to marry a strong guy, you know, oh What happened now we were betrothed for weeks. He would come visit me every now and then. And I would say to him, do you still want this? Do you still want to be here with me?

Mm-hmm. So you were supposed to marry him and then you were betrothed for weeks? We were betrothed for weeks, it turned into months, it turned into one single year, and he said to me, she said, I can't have you taking credit for my strength. I have to be a strong guy on my own, and if I ever were to choose a woman, if I ever choose to be weak, I would come back to you. And he banished me to the forest.

Too beautiful to taunt any other man, but now I have three and I'm taunting them quite well, don't you think? Oh I do. But that was quite cruelly to cast you out like that. That's something a man of strength has to do. We women wouldn't understand I guess. I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

I think a truly strong man would welcome a strong one in his life. I told a strong guy I said how about this? How about we take two dumps right next to each other and then we try to decide who's the strongest man's dump. But that was it for me. That took a turn. Wait a second. And you said one year in. That's pretty intimate for one year in. So, wait, you suggested this. No, I'm gay. Let's all take a shit. No, wait, hold on. You said or I get up my right. This is no time for an aqualo She said you suggested this and then immediately you're like that said I've met my limit just from you suggesting that you take Shit next to each other. I said I want to take a big shit out in the out in the woods

And I want to put it down I want to invite the people from the island to come and look and say who's the man shit? Who shit is the man's and I guess at the time? I got a little aggressive with him because he said he didn't want to put it down, I want to invite the people from the island to come and look and say who's the man shit? Who shit is the man's? And I guess at the time I got a little aggressive with him because he said he didn't want to see me anymore And he banished me to the jungle and though this is the only river pond I have Wow, I have maybe a dumb question if a woman shits in the woods. Can you hear it? Absolutely, absolutely. Someone does here.

I should say. Oh, you the door. Jazz, that's better. What are you trying to make a some sort of hot tub or something? Yes, I'm trying to heat things up in here. I'm just having fun. Oh, two turns. Two turns diverged in a wood, and I chose the one that was smaller and more womanly apparently. I mean, of the two choices, I guess that's better. But I wanted to win.

Some day I have dreams of growing big and strong and I don't know, slicing all my hair off and gluing it to my face and saying, face me, strong guy. Face me and take a dump. Ha, hmm. And then I could be the strong guy and it could be my island. I could fold it up and make it into some kind of place

where people put big, long piles of wood on their feet and then slide down the hills and then ride back up the seats. I don't know how to feel about this. I mean, on the one hand, I do not agree with the status quo, but on the other hand, I'm not sure you're suggesting I'm better option. It's okay to pee in here, by the way. Oh, I've been.

I don't know if I mentioned that. Yeah, I've been, yeah, I've been. Oh, sure. I mean, we're in water. Well, that's a river pot too. It's it's not you cannot pee in the who man's cave Oh, you sure? Don't you physically cannot you can try but it's like someone you know just pinched a shut. Oh, no, whatever you've got Whatever, whatever anyone's got if you try to pee in that cave Whatever? Whatever anyone's got if you try to pee in that cape. Shitton's fine. I go in there all the time and I've invited strong guy to come in there with me and he won't do it. So what if you're peeing as you're entering the cave?

Interesting question. It turns to dust and stops. The pee? Yes, inside and outside of your body. It's dangerous. That sounds bad. I saw a toad do it once and then it, you know, sort of That sounds bad. I saw a toad do it once, and then it sort of filled up like a balloon and floated away. I was the only one around. I was looking around like, did anyone else see this? That's unpleasant. You're telling me. What's stopping you from challenging strong guy again now?

He's banished you out here. You shouldn't have. He's got watchers for me. Whenever I approach his lair, the watchers come out and sort of gently usher me away. Like I'm crazy or something. Like I'll do something. Like I'll just shit somewhere and no one can stop me. He has watchers just waiting for you.

Some wait watchers? They do other things. Yes, but mostly they wait and watch. And some of them are waiting watching for me and some of them are, you know, the tarps collectors. Oh yeah, for a long time. The royalty owners. The royalty owners. The royalty owners. Yes, they own kings and queens all over the fair universe.

Yeah, paying royalties is the worst. It's the worst. Huh. They accompany them to the castle. They try to give them tours and strong guys. Not about it. Oh, so we're actually on our way to see strong guys who mentioned. I'm so sorry.

Can we circle back a little bit to you said, Hey, you're in the water, you can circle anywhere you'd like. Woo! To you said, Stronger has a weakness in his brain? Well, he's a, it's all scrumbled up and backwards around, but yes, there's also a tooth in his brain. Oh! He has a brain toother?

Oh, that's a shame. Yeah. Oh, he's a toother. Yeah, he thinks his brain's flat ever, that's a shame. Yeah. Oh, he's a tooth Yeah, he thinks his brain's flat ever since that tooth got put in there. Yeah, man But if someone could draw it out, I think he'd either become the strongest man in the world of the weakest I never got close enough to try I was too hung up on my own shit You were a little on your own shit. Well, I think it could be just like a man, like big and bold and brown. I hate to go here, but I feel like it's gonna happen.

Should we watch each other? I'll take my top off. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, fuck honey. Whoa, hey, you per- I am not a pervert. I was just gonna suggest we watch her take a shit. It's not about you. It's about strong guy. What do you want me to go up to any person that you've ever been with and say, Oh, just shit for me, shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry, you're right, that's a very- S-zip munkin' clap your circles. That's a very intimate act, I- I do apologize.

But maybe if we spend a year together, you- I'd show you the whole thing. I don't have that kind of time. Yes, I- we- we don't together, I'd show you the whole thing. I don't have that kind of time. Yes, are you? We were on a very, are you? Show me the whole thing. Yeah, I'd let you get down at a good angle.

We're in a very desperate, desperate mission. We must capture this artifact before the dark lord does. If you separate the cheeks, it'll never squeak. Hmm. Could I spend a year here? Well, you contemplate, and we're going to take a quick break while we all take a quick, uh... So it would be five years and six weeks, so if I came back in like six years and six weeks... Think of it, honey, we could just shittin' hold hands and lay down and eat food and shit again!

I've had worse offers. I've had worse offers. Okay, well, she said, can I ask and I'm sort of I feel the interviewer in me coming out a little bit. What did you call this thing we're on? This is a podcast. It's one of the most, well, I was gonna say popular. You said one of the most respected mediums. He said barely anyone can do it. Yeah.

No, I mean, honestly, I mean, I don't know how many there are now, but when I left, there were probably only like a million podcasts. I sometimes throw pods, I cast them into the river pond and then see if they grow into anything. Oh, do and do it? That's a blade of sea grass. If I ever saw one, right behind you. You need better analytics.

Well, you know what's interesting is I've actually been to a lot of scientists around here. These creation science man's and they say that it's actually impossible to track how many pods grow from the casts inside the river because there's so many different pods that you can cast in different ways and then it's hard to track them. Yeah. It's hard to know if they cast it the whole way or they just started to cast it and stop. Or if they plucked it up and threw it away and said, I'm never going back. But she said, and can I ask you is she short for anything?

No. Sheila? Oh, you said no. No. Oh, is said short for anything? no Sheila? oh you said no no oh is said short for anything? she said dead she said dead? that's when I get my final name is when I die that's supposed to be my full name but I'm not there yet but I'm getting closer every moment

tick, tick, tick, tick wow are you in a relation to right said dead? oh yes right said dead was my great uncle oh he's famously from war very sexy too sexy for this island. He got booted right off. Strong guy doesn't like anyone being sexier than him. No.

Probably why he had a problem with me. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Do you mind if I interview you a little bit? Please, I haven't spoken to another soul since who man went into the... He man, who man, cavern. Huh, it shows.

Yeah. Thank you so much. How dare you, actually. You know what, I'm offended. Alright, ask your questions. I'm sorry, I was very forward before. Your friend got me all wrinkled up, now ask me some questions. He does that.

Uh, so can you ask her to put her top up? You said, or what the fuck? You know, I would have put it back on if you would have asked me, but now that you're not, I'm just gonna hoist him up higher. Look at my eyes, then look at these. You should or her tits are down there. You're right, I'm sorry. Um, I guess... This is a little awkward now. I was gonna ask you about your childhood.

That's a little awkward. I mean, uh... No, we all took baths. Yeah, only you know what? She's decided that this is how she wants to be. That's all right. That's a fun nickname. She's. She's.

Hey. Hey. Yeah. Can I just ask like, what was your childhood like? Well, I had three sisters and nine brothers. Oh. So I'm she said, then there's lure. Mm-hmm.

Is there a he said? There's a he said, but we're not twins. We always tell people. And then there's she bled She died Unfortunately, did she bleed out? No actually she was hit by a tree that was chopped down and rolled down the hill And she bled but she dead also and that's who I will be one day and we'll be done again When did she get this name like Like... Oh, right when she was born. Oh, I'm sorry you heard it.

This island is an island of absolutes. So she did. She did. But then my eight brothers are all named Brian, other than dead. Other than he said. He said would love to be he dead. We all would, but you know. Can I just say I'm so sorry that two thirds of your family is blinded.

Thank you. I'll keep them all in my thoughts. I'm sure you won't, but thank you for saying so. And what were or are your parents like? My parents. Well, they flew away. They flew away? Yeah, after they had there a lot of number of children on this island, they weren't strong

enough or pretty enough or handsome enough or anything to stay So they grew their wings and flew to the island of misfit boys. Were they deadbeats or pervert? Their wings were dead beating against the sky With you ever grow wings if I ever became hideous sure What seems unlikely? Thank you very much. You're welcome. Look at my tits again. All right. There now. What's your next question?

I've combed the wizard. That's what the men do in the who man's cave. Oh, gosh. I'm sorry. It's hard for me. You really aren't much of a swimmer. You're just sort of standing against a rock, but you're still acting like you're

treading water for days. I know, I feel like I'm mentally treading water. Welcome to being a woman on this island. Oh, thank you. Am I an honorary woman on this island? Arnie, what do you do? Let's just say this, you have some kind of tooth in your head right now. Probably.

It's the tooth, the tooth of what I'm saying. Oh, this is tooth hurt? Yeah of what I'm saying. Oh. Does it tooth hurt? Yeah. Everywhere I go is, oh, let's dance around for us, you know. Don't take a shit but be cute. It's like, well, what if I want to take a shit? What about then?

Let's turn that pain into art, tooth and comedy. And now we've met some powerful female warriors. We met Orca just last week. No, please, print out your resume of women you've met. This is what you all do. Yeah, you've never put away your binder of women. This isn't a good look. What we meant to say is we want to hear...

You're trying, I understand that, and I appreciate it. We found that most people on this island have gone on quests or have arch-nemesis or anything. Do you have any arch-nemesis? Or have you been on any quest, so either are shallow, or with your family, or with a strong guy? I went on a quest to strong Gal Island. Oh!

And it was bliss. There was just one man for every six women. And oh, we just pushed them around, and we laughed and danced, and we said, we'll have all the jobs and there's more of us. And you know what, it was fun for a weekend, but it wasn't really sustainable. We found out at the end it was better to just be nice. How did you find that out?

Well, we all sort of, you know, we had our meetings at the end of every day. We said, oh, the first couple days, oh, wasn't it fun pushing all the men around and making them feel bad? And then, you know, about day three or four, a few of us had fallen in love, and then, you know, that sort of led to, feel of us that fall in love and then, you know,

that sort of led to deeper emotions and realizing that everybody's got their own sort of different soul. And then we felt bad. And I just came back here and I didn't learn any lasting lessons, but a lot of them did. And one of them is President of the Clouds. Uh-huh. President of the Clouds.

Yeah, yeah. I'm having a hard time knowing whether any of this is possible. Isn't anything? You're running a podcast in a magical land. Isn't anything possible? I guess you're right. Anything is possible. I've met Soraya, the president of the clouds.

Oh! Soraya Skyla. Uh-huh. What about her sister? Soraya sis? Siraya sis. You know, it's a bummer for her that she's always got to have that name tagged on because, you know, it's like everybody. Oh, your sister's president of the clouds. What are you doing? Veterinarian.

Which is impressive in its own right, but not when you're older sister's president of the GD clouds. Yeah, that's tough. The Gilly-Dilly clouds. Oh, the Gilly- GD clouds. Yeah, that's tough. The Gilly Dilly clouds. Oh, the Gilly Dilly clouds. Yeah. It's hard when a sibling or a family member accumulates a lot of power. And it is. You're kind of living in their shadow, as it were.

It can make you feel like a little whisperable woman. I zephyrd that. I don't have one. You know what, and that's the first thing if you're able to admit that, then you're able to defeat strong guy. Because he can't admit any weakness at all. Oh, and that's a weakness in itself Absolutely, it is well this is pride. I guess I want to be honest. This is kind of awkward You're the second strongest man. I've ever seen in my life. That can't be right that sound wrong

Well, for eyes are broken. Let's see. This is kind of the evidence that something's wrong. I say anything Look, wait, you say anything. I say anything and and some of it's good and some of it's rot in her eyes There's something wrong in my eyes. There's light this heat. Hold on. I am complete. That was true Okay, yes another song. Wow, you got one out of me a thousand Arnie's What's a narnie? Arnie is a Arnie The absence of being Arnie is a narnie. Yeah, so when you leave I'll be dating a narnie. It's my nemesis Narnie

Oh, I got chills when you said that. Oh, I don't like that look at my nipples this dark two peas in the woods. Mmm. I probably shouldn't play another character. That is wouldn't work out. What are you talking about? Never mind. I think what Arnie was trying to save Voys were actually trying to form an alliance with Strong Gal. No, we're not here to do that. Oh, that's right. That's right. But, but, but, but, but.

Well, they took it to the wrong Gal. I'd love to see him fall. But, perhaps, she said is on to something. If we defeat Strong Gal instead of forming an alliance with him, maybe we will take his power from him. All you men just want the strong guys to like you. Well, guess what? The strong guys don't even like themselves. Oh, good. Damn. I think that's the tooth. You're saying that's why they don't like themselves because of the tooth. Yeah. Yeah.

If they don't like the tooth, they don't like themselves. If you can learn to love the tooth and work around it, well, that might be...that might be something. She said, would you consider helping us defeat strong guy? Would we consider it, sure? It's considered of you to ask, but really all I'm interested in is marrying a man who will shit next to me and let the town come and vote on who shit looks more masculine. Oh, so you're gonna let the whole town watch you shit, but not us.

Not watch, I want that, because they can't, if they watch, then they'll know, and I want it to be based entirely on the turd alone. Sure. Have you met a craptore? Yes, oh yes, craptore and I just, we always get, ugh, wild. And you never considered marrying craptore? Yes, oh yes, craptore and I just we always get, uh, wild. And you never considered marrying craptore? I'm sorry, have you ever considered marrying a dog? Damn!

Yes? Oh, doctor? No, doctor, doctor's evil, everyone knows that. I despise evil. I'm not compatible with a craptore, it's not legal. Oh, alright. Knock, knock! Craptore, I've been for a spontaneous visit! Oh, crafter! Look, I've got friends! And none of them will take their clothes off but me!

Oh, my lack of ears are burning! What do you think of my men? You know, I met them at the bar a couple weeks ago. Oh, well, give me your takes! Point at them and give me your takes! Your hot, barbequeous takes that you always do!. Alright, I wouldn't shit on him. I wouldn't shit on him. But I would shit on him. Yes, I would shit on him too. He almost asks. Takes but no takes. Also, I've got to be honest. I've got a little bit of a

cold. That's why I think my voice has changed. I'll tell you what, I think mine started a little different. I got a lot more of Vod Villian Isn't that one of the places on this island? Yeah, Vodville. Yeah, Vodville. Yeah, I got a little Vod Village back there. I'll tell you something Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do this river pond because you knew crafteroids coming to visit and you want to make him jealous? No crafter and I are very very good friends. We are just friends nothing more. crafter would love it I'll be honest with you. I've zoned him in an area in which he's only my friend. Yeah, but I've come to respect it and I don't push it. Absolutely but he knows if my life ever falls apart guess who's gonna come running.

To help. What? To help. What? To help. To help. Okay. Help our gonna life back together. I've got my own inner life. I've got my own stuff going on. Trapped or we're not gonna interview you.

I'm starting to sound like trash. We're not gonna interview you. Crapped. You know trash the cobalt? No, I'm just saying my voice sucks. Stop! Don't say that about yourself. You don't know trash the cobalt,

but you're starting to sound like him. Crapped or something. It's not like him. Crack your head. Don't say that. Garbage. Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm interested. Big fantasy, his big fantasy that he has, is that one day, I'll accidentally almost die,

and so will he, and then we'll kiss, and it'll be like, oh, it was a human the whole time, and now we can be together. And then all of the crafters little shitty trinkets around his house that come to life periodically will also turn into humans and I'm like it's not gonna happen literally shitty trinkets crafter and I love crafting with shit crafting oh boy what to do with all this look I've never shared this before but with... With even me? With even you. Oh! I really kind of only have one dream, and I can't rest until I find it.

Someone to lay down next to, hold hands, take a shit. And then this part is weird, but invite the whole village over to vote on who shit is smaller. That's your dream? That's my dream. But you know that's what I always say. My dream is, was strong guy. Oh. I've told you that.

Is that what I'm getting at? I'm not telling you. Yes, that's what you're getting at. He always does this. He always does. He's trying to, he's trying to, he's trying to, he's trying to,

he's trying to, he's trying to bite his way into my brain. You know, it's one of those things where, you know, you hear an idea and then you think about it and then later it pops out of your own brain. In front of my friends that I made that you said were your friends? I didn't say they were my friends.

I said I wouldn't shoot on him. I wouldn't shoot on him, but I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Very good. Well, I'm sorry, I gotta go. With my mother always said, as your mother always said, I gotta go. Yeah, with my mother always said,

Crapdoor, you only have so much to offer a conversation Bye-bye my crap door. By the way, that's my catchphrase your catchphrase is bye-bye No, that whole thing that led up to it. I think is this catchphrase. I changed my mind. I would shit on him You know, I love crafter, but I hate crafter. It sucks as he said the buy went into the jungle And it's clearly just peeping behind those leaves. Oh, he always does Hi, craft door. We still see you Yeah, Arnie you were just looking at a meter. Yeah, you understand though Well, he said he would shit on me, but there's no chemistry between us

It's I'm a woman and I need a Man, though you don't need a man. Thank you. Good. I'm a man. No, you don't need a man. Thank you, good answer. If you want a man, great. Would you like to hang out here for about another year and then shit with me? I am weirdly invested in seeing you shit now, and I don't know how to feel about that. Barney, are you shitting on her?

Are you shitting me? I shit you not. I mean, this quest might be easier if we didn't have to drag on you long. I agree. I feel like I indulge in a little too much, but I 100% agree. Yeah. I agree. I feel like I indulge in a little too much, but I 100% agree. Yeah.

I mean, I know it sounds crazy, but we've had year-long stretches of this episode, where we haven't accomplished anything more important than we'll see someone take it down. Oh, we'd have fun along the way. I can show you the whole island. I can take you to Strong Guy eventually. Oh, that'd be great.

I mean, she said you were all that, but we do need to get to Strong Guy. But I'm not that bag of great. I mean she said you're all that but we do need to get this strong guy But I'm not that bag of chips. I Understand I'm nobody's bag of chips. I'm just a big old pile of shit. I don't think that's true I think you just haven't found the right person yet and even if you didn't find the right person your audio Incredibly dynamic and interesting person nice try. What are you crafters little brother? Well, oh are you crafters little brother? No, no, absolutely not I mean we could have that No, it isn't it won't be she said Do you have it? No, it's not it definitely is not she said you've told us a lot about strong guy

We wholeheartedly appreciate that do you know I like I said everyone has the arch nemesis apparently on this island Do you know um skull I said, everyone has archnemesis apparently on this island. Do you know Skullmaster at all? Oh, yes, Skullmaster was my tutor. Oh, for years. Oh, wait a second, are you? Are you? I guess we,

I would not. Arnie, what the fuck? No, no, look, I was just gonna say we were on strong island, so I guess we assumed that everyone here is a hero, but like, I'm bad, yes. You're a failure, I gotta say, it's kind of refreshing. You know, it takes you this long to find out the woman who's begging you to let her shit next to you

as a villain, really? Well, we don't kink shame. How many tears do you have in your brain? That's a good question. You have declared yourself as evil, and now I must stand against you as a force of light and goodness. You must take a bomb to protect yourself against the might and the wrath of you, Siddharth. There's only one way to settle this, Siddharth. A shitting competition. I'm into it.

Let's do it. I already let you out of the chamber. Hide your eyes. Everyone has to hide their eyes. Shoo-t- eyes are sure turn around Look at that shit at ingrin wait it looks like when crafter left he dropped this book Looks like he's doing some genealogy always no no he isn't he's working on genius come on, Oosidore Let's go in the who man's cave and take a shit. Let's go So Come on, Usador, let's go in the Who Man's Cave and take a shit. Let's go! So, uh...

What do we do while they're out over there doing a shit in competition? I mean, do we listen? I guess if they... If she doesn't want us to listen or watch, we shouldn't. Yeah. I just... Alright, I'm a fake. I'm a phony. I didn't have any shits to offer, I can't do it, I won't do it! I took the BIGgest shoove ever seen! Get him away from me, he's too powerful!

It lifted me right off the ground! Did you all give two shits or just the one? Just the one! It lifted you off the ground? That's right! So much shit, it's almost like a... family trait! It was a colon blow if I ever saw one. It was on the pyramid of his own crap Here's the thing I'm concerned about I was born of a conspiracy of birds and rain and fire and water and Raptide sources birds Your crafters little brother no wonder you know I'm not

Crafter how old are you thousands of years old? Definitely not related to craptore That's what I always tell him, but I should be related to him. I'm sorry I lied. Strong guy wanted me to shit. He wanted to do the comparison. He's a good man. He's on the side of light. I couldn't produce it.

And I go back to my river pond and I tell lies and I dream of one day soaring down slopes that don't even exist on this island. Well, there's nothing wrong with having dreams and goals. But there's something wrong about lying about how much you want to take a big giant dump. We're all just faking it until we make it. No, we just can't make it. It's like Instagram, you know? People don't lie about things they think it's going to make them more impressive.

My grandma took years to make. Uh, what? An Instagram? Where do you get your grandma so quickly? That one made perfect sense to me. So you can just put some sort of powder and water and you get an Instagram? I don't know. Mine took years to make. Just a regular gram. I call her Grammy.

Hmm. I like that. She came to me most when I sang. Do you do it for the gram when you sing? Yes. Always for my gram. Can we hear a little song about your gram? I have a gram and I am a gram daughter in the water. With my nipples out blazing, it's so amazing, but I will never shit like a potter of plants

for manure for the seedlings. Wow. It almost seemed like it wasn't gonna end ever, but then, you know, we called it in the ring. It all came together. Yeah, you sound like shit. In a good way. Thank you so much. Yeah. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try and know that strong guy. He may have a tooth in his brain, but and the tooth hurts, but he's good. But, I just wanted to say it one more time.

She said, we're gonna find strong guy. We're gonna fall in alliance with him, and we're gonna put in a good word for you. Do you think anyone will draw me naked? Hmm. Like, anyone, like a listener? Anyone who's on the other end of these ice cream scoops that we're yelling into?

Well, maybe it just I don't know if you got a full description of what you look like So maybe go into as much detail as possible and people might do that. Slender, smooth, best nipples in the game The hair that you've always wanted to draw big eyes, but then you know, just a hammy pile of shit beneath Just a Thanksgiving scuffle poop. I feel like listeners are gonna be like, should I draw her? I think she won. And I'm telling them that yes. Oh, okay. Yes.

It's okay, the she said. She said that you could. She said, listeners, she said you could. She said you could. Just don't send it to me. So she said it's been a pleasure to meet you. I feel like I've worked out a lot. Yeah. And I haven't even taken a dump, which is remarkable for me.

Thank you. Good on you. Good on you. Excuse me for one moment. Crapter. Do you know that pelican? Yeah, that one. Damn it.

Did he just call you dad? No, I think the pelican is his dad. Yeah, I think he said the pelican was his dad. Oh, what pelican? I don't know, you gotta ask Krap to her. You know that pelican? Krap to her, what pelican? I got nothing.

That guy's trash. That's my friend. Oh, sorry, I'm so sorry. Um, I guess we should keep the head and towards the center of the island to find strong guy. Oh I'm not gonna go with you. I'm gonna swim to the bottom of the river pond and burrow into the sand and close my eyes a while. I can breathe underwater. Oh thank goddess it. That's gonna say. No it sounded dramatic but no no no it's just most cozy and comfy in the sand

in the deep waters. Yeah. Can I ask I ask I know you I breathe through my tits Like a turtle. Yes, exactly like a turtle. Thank you for understanding But there's some heavy breaths some nice heavy breaths look at how they inflate and then they squirt water out. It's kind of fun. Wow You know I I've come to the conclusion that strong island is very weird. Yeah, and I've come to the conclusion that we need to make shirts that say I breathe through my tits. We think earth is very strange from what we hear. What have you heard?

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, There's very tall trees that are called buildings and you're supposed to go up high in them and even during storms Is that true, aren't you? Yeah, I mean technically. Yeah, I mean during storms I don't know the storm part and sweet things that you just hold on a pole and lick with your tongue Is that true? Are there pole sweets? Yes, like lollipops. I don't know. I don't know who I'd be asking lolly pop lolly pop lolly pops art to effect like lollipops? I don't know I don't know who I'd be asking lollipops lollipops

artifact that's what you sound like that's what I said that's what you said that's what you said you said sador you you said said to door you said a door you said a door you said a door to get to the who man's cave what door that door over there Oh, you said, or what the fuck? She said just look at her tits! How dare you! She said, I know you said you're a villain, which I totally respect.

But in the coming war with the Dark Lord, is there any chance that you would fight by our side to defeat the Dark Lord? Oh sure, when you shit together, you get together. Oh! And I tried, at least with this guy. Yeah! Oh good, so that's not like the shitting equivalent of

Agreeing to something with your fingers crossed now. Let me tell you something if the dark lord came and held my hand and Talked me to shit as big as a man. We'd have a talking to do Between you and the dark lord and maybe it'll come down to that Maybe it'll come down to you versus the dark lord and who has the bigger stronger boulder shit But until then I'll be underwater breathing through my tents. I feel like I just had a glimpse at the series finale. Oh, I glimpsed the series finale every night. It's smack in the middle of my vision board.

You've been listening to Hello from the Magic Tavern. That's right, younger audience. This sure was in the Kids Zone noodle town podcast. Dad said you could find on his spare laptop, was it? Nope. Now, go ask him all the questions sparked by what you just heard. And remember his expression. Your inevitable therapist will ask.

Use it all the wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant the lots of things was played by Adolf Reffy. She said was played by Sarah Shockey. Sarah appears on the podcast Marty and Sarah love wrestling. Every Friday on the MLW Radio Network. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arne Neacamp, Matt Young and Adolf Refy, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, Earwolf Producer Kimmy Lucas. This episode edited by Chris Rathchin, special assistance by Ryan DeGeorgie.

Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan, Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland, and the strong guy island variation recorded by Sage GC. So Trisha, what do you think? Ready to come back to the Institute, maintain cosmic balance, and clean the curic thing when it's your turn? Ugh, I'll think about it. But right now I gotta run and do notes with Cofefe 19.

Our coach charges double after an hour. Oh, could you pass along a friendly note to your improv team? What is it? It's still not too late to become a paralegal. You get your degree in two years and there's free overtime! Well, we're back on the road. I keep thinking this island can't get weirder and I keep being wrong. I'm curious if that was just S-word guy in a mask.

How many times do we think we said shit there? I guess 168. Yeah, listeners. Think a second listen through and count. Yeah, let us know. Tweeter us. After you said all the blue. Or at Chunch with six teas.

Or at Ira Glass. And use the hashtag, that's what she's shit. or at Ira Glass. And use the hashtag, that's what she's shit.