Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 3, Ep 47 - Doctor Sane (w/ Griffin Newman)

Episode Date: June 29, 2020

We meet a doctor that dabbles in science and is very adamant that he is not mad.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungDr. Archibald N. Sane: Griffin NewmanMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Chris RathjenSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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The following podcast is not real. It is, however, thick in the middle of a phenomenon they call the slappening, I think. Coincidentally, my pet named for 80s screwball mafia romance moon struck, featuring share at her finest. Don't bring up mask. That movie is waterlogged by Eric Stoltz's palpable on-way, having just learned his footage for back to the future had quietly been renamed back to the drawing board. Now I know we're here for the credits, and trust me they're coming, and they'll be super

fake, but first we have to get through something I call listening to the episode. For the record it goes pretty quick, especially when you put the sound all the way down and play a different podcast instead. The audio escapes they paint on StoryLab are mesmerizing, but you can't have a rainbow without miles of featureless sky. So let's sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! Remote Edition. A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host, Arne Neekcamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before,

this is everything you need to know. Over five years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fun. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift. And I used that Wi-Fi to upload a podcast chronically, our quest to defeat the Dark Lord.

Slight caveat on all of that, all of the magical world of Foon is trapped into little sort of shards of land, but we're figuring it out, we're getting over it, we're recording remotely via rune, and as always I am joined by my co-host, his shapeshifting abilities seem to be a little out of control. Chant the shapeshifter. Stick Bip, stick, is that a new catchphrase? Yeah, well, I guess we should kind of recap more recently. Last episode I was a badger head on top of a sand castle and we all know the ocean took that sand out to sea

so I'm currently a badger head on top of a sand castle and we all know the ocean took that sand out to sea so I'm currently a badger head on top of a bunch of sticks. I built myself a little stick body if you can see. Tadididadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadad I've got to ask, are you alarmed that you're mostly just ahead and you're assembling your body out of Whatever crap you can find around you. I'm not alarmed. I'm curious Because I want to know I shape shifted into a sand castle right from the neck down And when that was washed out to the ocean It's like is that gonna stay intact and I can later reunite with it is each particle of sand now its own and I can later reunite with it, is each particle of sand now its own shape-shifting DNA out into the world that only to be swallowed by fish? Who knows? I gotta say, I feel like you don't

need to spread your DNA around more than you already have. To be fair, I had one sperm, Arnie. That one sperm. That one sperm, that one sperm's too many. It could be, could be. And I thought about, for a while, a lot of stuff washes up on the speech that I'm at. And for a while, I thought about, because there's a sea cucumber here, I thought about putting that in vinegar, making it a sea pickle, and becoming pickle-chunch. And I thought that might be a real fun episode.

I thought that might be the most coated episode, be real fun, real popular. Okay, those are words I don't think I ever want to say. Okay, but thank you, but you do you, buddy. Thank you. But I'm also joined via Roon by my other co-host, Usenor the Wizard. I am Usenor, Wizard of the 12th realm of a fesiest maestrov like in Shadow,

manipulator of magical delights, DEBORF Chaos! DEBORF, the great halls of Turokos, the elves noobies via Nyallok. The dwarves snowmys zone in in new extinguishings and I am known in the north-east as gas and windiest may star, and there may be other secret names. Names that if air uttered aloud would eliminate the need for the beautiful art of dentistry, which shall be here displayed today by our wonderful guest,

Fizzle von Pizzle Witch. Foon's first unicorn dentist! Uh, and, and that is, do we need to call, that, do we need to call him up on the room? I, I thought you said that we are having Fizzle on again. Our favorite guest. Wait, I was supposed to schedule Fizzle? You were supposed to schedule Fizzle on Pizzle Witch. I thought you were the one that said we should have Pizzle on Pizzle Witch on.

Why? Why? Be not in charge of booking Mr. Necap. Thou does know that it is thine duty. To find the guests that do come upon this casting of the pod. I mean, I guess we could do one where it's just a three of us, you know. Sometimes those get a little weird. They can, yeah sure.

But, well, they're so fun. I guess I guess, but I guess we won't see Fizzavon Pizzavitch tonight. Oh, well, you know, I do have a backup plan, which I don't know. Yeah, I think, but before we do that, I do have one quick thing I wanted to talk to you about Yusidor. The sort of seems important. Last week, you said that you thought maybe you had figured out one. I'm sorry. Hold that thought for one moment.

Stick bit! Hey wait, that's my catch phrase. I know, I was so excited about it. I wanted to say it too. Oh thank you, stick bit. I'm trying to help it catch on. Stick bit! Ah, okay. Are you gonna give us a little stick bit? Give us a little stick bit.

I don't know if I can. Well, I'm just gonna have to stick bit. Yeah. Gonna do it right? Yeah, you nailed can. Well, I'm just gonna have to stick, babe. Yeah. Did I do it right? Yeah, you nailed it. Oh, but my question was, you had said last week that you had heard that this cause of the fragmenting, which is shattering, the shattering,

which is keeping all the food in different compartments was by Bruce the Skyguard. Oh, yes. That's the rumor that I have heard, yes indeed. Bruce must be angered for some reason, and his champion on orders nowhere to be seen. And now he is cast us all into these crystalline shards of the world we once knew, unable to contact one another physically. So, is that a room?

Or is that what's happened? Like, can we cross that off? Is like, we figured it out. Or is it more like, maybe it's this? Here's how I found out. I went deep into a meditative state, even deeper than the wizard state which thou ought to custom to. Into nearly a sleep state.

And in that state, once I had reached rapid eye movement during my dreaming, I began to see visions, visions of things that seemed to have happened to me during the day but they were all out of order. And sometimes there were nonsensical things in there and Bruce the Skyguard was part of this incredible vision Okay, I did I sort of phased out and some of that but I take it that you know, you're not entirely confident That's true. My vision is as accurate as any prophecy

No, hey, aren't dog. Yeah, what's that stick Bob? Before yeah, you got it. I'm like give it a rest I do want to mention before we bring on any guests, you might hear some dogs in the background. Just, you know, there are some St. Beach Nards around here. There are beach-willing dogs, and I made a stick. So I'm kind of on the move running around. So these dogs are going nuts for me.

Oh, yeah. I'm not sure if you're going to hear them or not, but just a heads up. I may be in trouble, okay? St. Beach Nards. You said what is the origin of that name? What's the origin of St. Beach Nards? Yeah.

Okay, there are dogs on the beach. Okay, a beach nard. Good old beach nard. You're a beach nard. Oh no, chunt. Dog love stick. That's what I'm saying, Dog love stick, step up. Oh.

Stick, pop. He, chaotic, careful, chunt. I told what you should be chewed on and played with by these terrible dogs. Thank you all through my best. Okay guys, I feel like since it's just a three of us and we don't have a guest yet, we're getting dangerously close at the veering

until weird episode territory. So as much as I am not overly confident in this guest, I have a guest that's been reaching out to me via room a lot wanting to be on. So I guess we should have him on. Oh, Arnie, are we having a fan on? I don't know if he's a fan. It's possible.

Here, let me finger the room here. Don't see that way. Then bring up him on the room. Hello, doctor. Hello, are you there? Oh, hello, big fan here. Big fan, big fan, long time first time. Oh, thank you. That's so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so. That is so, thank God. This is so surreal to be actually here with, I mean, not here with you, but communicating via a room. I know, to hear our voices and to see our faces. Yes, I mean, of course, there's that weird thing, there's the slight time delay. And I'm seeing you, but from odd angles,

and so there are micro expressions that are not being fully absorbed, you know, perhaps this will end up being a little more tiring than a normal in-person conversation, but we're living through weird times, you adjust, right? Sure, oh yeah. So, Dr. you know, do you mind introducing yourself so that, uh, so that you said, or this is you said, or as I'm sure you know please I know big fan big fan a pleasure to meet you sir I can't wait to learn

more about you oh well a pleasure to meet you so door well we know the pleasure be all mine I doff my cap to you had so sorry I'm freaking out at least when he made that joke he didn't then say you can use that well I would have actually been kind if he had given me something to use sorry it's just at least when he made that joke he didn't then say you can use that well I would have actually been kind if he had given me something to use sorry it's just that most fans will write a joke and then say you can use that well look I'm clearly very chill okay I mean you and I we can start doing bits about how other fans act because I'm not like that I'm sure you're having many many listeners contact you

via rune every day and you're, you only have like two or three followers in your tribe, but yet you are presenting yourself as if you are actually would be almost doing you a favor to appear on the podcast, but I'm not one of those. I'm actually very good. I'm gonna be a good guest. Oh, okay, fan. I'm holding my shot.

Yes, I'm not going to do any of the things that fans do. I am only going to do the things that a brilliant guest would do. Oh, how many people do you have in your following you and your tribe? I, that's not really, that's not my main platform. I'm not really a tribe leader first and foremost. I don't think that's how you should judge me because that's not really my priority. Okay and we can't verify that? I, yeah, I look unverified because I don't even, it's not something I'm taking seriously. I don't aim to be a tribe leader. That's not, I'm a very sane brilliant scientist, okay? That is my main Russian life. Science! My name, of course, as Arnie knows...

Here it comes. Dr. Archibald Singh. Now, you know, we're talking about these fans and their behavior that you're used to, the things that annoy you. I'm not one of those I also want to make clear. I am not one of these so-called mad scientists, okay? Well, how could you be when your name is Dr. Seyne? Well, thank you. I mean, you know, pleasant coincidence. I obviously didn't control that.

I'm just, you know, of the same lineage. But yes, you know, I feel like when I started hearing that label thrown around, I said, well, of course, I get mad sometimes, you know, I'm a creative, you know, it's a frustrating field. We all take off L's so to speak here and then there, but then I start to realize oh no mad is being used in sort of a short way. Mad, that's a one's mind and I said no no no no I'm not this type of scientist. I'm very sane, very reasonable and brilliant. So Dr. Archibald saying you said this is you come from a long line of

sayings like what was your father's name? My father's name actually was was also Dr. Archibald saying but this this is the weird part. He was Dr. Archibald saying the second. Okay? Now his father's name was Jeremiah St. I am technically speaking Archibald St. The First. I see. So how would you... It's a countdown. Well, it's more of my father felt like

he was another very saint, very brilliant man, who was looking to disrupt the status quo at any opportunity possible. And he said, the lineage is the family, everything is moving in one direction. How do I make a son, almost like a prior story to my story? To quell the sort of desire to tell stories in a linear, forward fashion. I will make my son a prior instance of that quell,

a prequel, if that's no sense. When you have children, you just hope that your children eventually have less than you name wise. Absolutely, that's the idea he was trying to deeper. In a way, it wouldn't work to better had he been, Arch know, Archibald saying the six or seventh, and then there could have been a countdown. But he was unfortunate that he was born in the second, and that is because his father, Jeremiah,

saying was in fact an insane man. That was, there is one, I will say, there is one sort of strand of insanity in our lineage. is that two generations away at this point? Oh, okay. Well, Dr. St. D. Mine, letting us know a little bit about what you study. I guess I don't even know how to frame it exactly. What are you a doctor of? Thank you. Well, it's sort of a self-appointed title.

Oh, okay. It makes any sense. I mean, it's sort of like, dressed for the job you want to fit your name with the title, you aspire to one day. But, you know, as I said, I'm a very sane doctor, I'm a brilliant doctor, what I do is create life. Oh, well, what I have to ask,

why would you decide to create life using science when there's so much magic around you? You know, I feel like I don't want to bring this into the podcast perhaps this early, but I am not a huge believer in magic. Oh, not a big believer in magic. Oh, wow. Not a big believer in magic? I mean, look, I'm just saying there are some scrolls, some ancient texts that I could pass along to you guys that I think you would find very fascinating. And actually, if you do your research and you don't read, like, sort of, the main postings

that are being placed on the local hitching posts in town, right? If you look for the sort of works obscure, deeper posts, then I think you will find that often it can be very easily explained that what we perceive to be magic is actually very high level rudimentary sides. Arnie, this is what you get for inviting a fan on. You know that we typically screen all of our guests by asking first and foremost, do you believe in magic? The one time we don't, this is gonna be a sh-choo. I know, but- This is gonna be a sh-choo.

Our usual screening process involves so much singing. Now, or to none, believe her. But yet I, shall convert to thee, watch this! Woof, yeah, more like a novice of Light and Shadow. Yeah, and I was going to say Light and Shadow's the key term here. I mean, unruin' anyone can sell any sort of basic illusion. You know, it's merely a slight of ham. Oh, well, very well then, watch this!

Oh, just a little kite came out of his mouth and fell to the ground. That sucks. That could have been in there the whole time. Exactly, Exactly. I mean, this is what I'm saying. I, you know, I look, I'm not trying to convert you. I'm just saying I will send along the scrolls later because I think there's some really interesting information in there. I do like scrolls. Oh, and I'm so sorry. I'm gonna interrupt you for a second. Uh, doc. Lee. Lee. Yes. How do you listen to the podcast on FUN? Once again, through science, I created a device.

I'm a very resourceful man. I like to use sort of found objects and figure out how to repurpose them to serve other needs, much like how I create life, but we'll get that in a moment. Oh, when you said you create life, I just thought you were bragging about having sex. I know, that's on the to-do list. List for the job you want. I thank you, exactly, and this is why you gentlemen are hosting the podcast and not me, but I went to my yard, right?

And I found some of the basic produce, the foodstuffs growing on my property. And I said, I will work as hard as I can, trying to find a way to make these foodstuffs be able to receive messages from the outside, trying to form some sort of a communication device. Once again, the ruined thing is a little too magic adjacent for me, I use it if I need to.

You know, I think we all agree, there are certain flaws in the system. It seems very susceptible to sort of outside crudos. The security of the rune connection is not incredibly atyped. Where does magic come from? You're right, like we weren't using these things, we're in until very recently.

That's what I'm saying, you know, so it's like, worst case scenario, I'll use it if I have to, but I think maybe this is a short-term solution for a longer-term problem. So I've been trying to solve this kind of thing myself, trying to place different sort of rudimentary collectors and receivers and different types of transomatory devices around food stuff, food stuff, you know, an infoon, and what I found eventually was that an apple was most conducive to receiving podcasts. So I have my sort of apple of podcasts that I use, I thought once again it was going to be a two-way

Transmission device that is ended up just being a thing where I literally hold an Apple up to my ear And then just to listen to communications, but to all of those I listen to perhaps Yours is my fate. Oh, well, thank you. I've used an Apple to listen as well But I have to take one little bite out of it. Otherwise, I can't hear anything right? Yeah, I used to listen to you know I listen to a podcast with an apple, but I haven't done that since I was you know 18 19 Different it's come out of someone's mouth. I just ah two kinds I mean once again the kite they're very small I and your cheek. there's clearly something going on. Hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray ho Yeah, well, so Dr. Sain, so I guess I would love to hear call me Archie. Oh, Archie

I gotta say the wine just a little computer like my name is Arnie. Your name is Archie. I'm a little work I just feel like we're co-workers now we're collaborators. We should get in form Well, this is the beginning of a longer relationship, obviously What the fuck Arnie Arnie, what you said or yeah, I'd wake up. Real quick. You said, or can you fuck with his audio? Yes. Or... You're off the block. Taya Thacha.

Guys, I'm so sorry to do this. I'm on the beach. I just... I just got a bottle that washed ashore my beach with a little note inside. Yeah. It's Dr. Sane asking to be my friend. Oh.

I don't feel comfortable with this. What could it hurt to be friends? I'm sure that you're not crossing any lines. Right? Right. I just, I seem real sweaty. I don't know. I don't like it.

Alright, and it was audio. I'll do it. But if you do agree to be his friend, just don't do it in such a way where then it seems like I'm going to have to be his friend, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. That's fine, that's fine. Okay. Error on bar cold.

I am back. An incoction, that's why I think... Foon is empirically round. Can I argue with that? Yeah, yeah. Everyone knows that Foon is an elliptical overweight. But anyway, I swear to thee, thou must believe that magic can be real.

And I shall prove it to you by turning one of these three kites into Goose to paper goose. So what are you doing with your time? origami the the magician's downfall. Jesus. I mean, I have to say to the fact that everything you're doing to try to prove to me that magic Exists seems to revolve around this one prop that you easily could have set pre-recording really is backing up my thesis. To be fair, you have quantity going on. I mean, you have many of them, but still, it's like if you started doing tricks with something that hasn't been introduced in the last ten minutes, you might be selling me a little

harder. All right, you might be selling me a little harder. Alright, I'll be back. Where is he going? Well, I mean, but also the me of fact that he has to walk away. It's like now he can grab any. Exactly. Didn't occur to me until now that he's a prop magician. Look, I have great respect for illusionists.

I love seeing a fancival illusion in the town square. You know, but that's what it is. It's a entertainment science. Are you a fan of the arts in the town square. You know, but that's what it is. It is entertainment. So, are you science? Are you a fan of the arts as well as science? I love the arts. Of course, I love the arts. I mean, that's how I got into science.

You know, I was sort of starting to say, you know, I don't have that great of a personality. I wanted to be an artist and I realized, Verly, on, you know, I don't think I am the man who perhaps stands at the town square. You know, I don't think I am the man who perhaps stands at the town square. I don't think I have that energy. So perhaps I'm a little bit more of a behind the square kind of guy. Perhaps I am the person who's standing outside the square

but help to produce the people who are performing. Oh, like your parents? Well, we'll get to that in a second. Like a stage doctor. Like a bit of a stage doctor, yes. Thank you. I get it. Hey, here, I've got it.

You see that? I pulled my thumb right off. Why'd you have to walk off screen for that? Thank you. Thank you. I was about to ask. I mean, when he spends that much time away, you expect he's at least going to come back with something large, or something that we

might believe he did not have at his home. But then you come back with, eh, barely, that you don't hand. Alright, I'll be right back. Yeah. Well, speaking of being right back, maybe, let's take a quick break and then, uh, a doctor saying I'm really I you know maybe this is a mistake maybe we shouldn't give you a platform to share your fringe beliefs about science but a little come off as an endorsement which I've got to be clear this that's not what this is but we should hear you out on on your thoughts on science. Yes and also you

should not try to silence my beliefs. In my mind, that's a censorship. I have a right to appear on this podcast. You don't have them. This is a public resource. It's not a public. Glad you got a fan now, dipshaw. All right, we'll be right back.

Now you see, these two rings are bound together and there is no way to separate them here. I'd hand them to you and let you pull on them yourself, but I was separated by the But what if I spoke the magical word? A la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la the Arun, and no longer just listening to you through a once-beater apple, your environment seems to be surrounded by both large plumes of smoke and a copious amount of mirrors. Yes, here in the haunted hot springs, everyone wants to be fully covered in steam all the time, and they want to look at their own naked bodies while they're in the hot springs, and the mirrors help us watch out for the ghosts I mean you do you but for me that's making the angles at which you're holding the rings very suspicious Oh, yes, well, uh don't worry. Well, I don't need these rings here I'll just turn them into birds on the conflite

Also when your magic words sound like they're being made up on the spot Okay fine. What are your magic words sound like they're being made up on the spot, absolutely fine. What are your magic words, Donald? Please. Damn, thank you. The most magical word of all. You sure I don't know if it's the mirrors or if it's just a beach goer, but is there a woman who's been cutting a half behind you? Yeah. Oh, what's her name?

Sandy. And what, you're going to use some sort of illusion to make it appear as if she is being rejoined put back together? No, she was here when I got here. Oh wait, she was just like that. Has there been a murder in the part of food that you're trapped in? No, Arnie, she's alive, she's just in two halves. What do you want me to do about it? Oh, is the other half on the other side of the barrier of the fragmenting? I assume so. Alaska. Sandy, where's the other side of the barrier of the fragmenting? I assume so. Alaska.

Sandy, where's the other half of you? She says, yeah, it's on the other side. Fair enough. Questions answered. Dr. St. You said you create life. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Thank you for keeping me on track. That's why you are the professional podcaster. And I am merely a brilliant scientist. Well, that's very kind of you.

Yeah, I was just curious what life you create. Yes, absolutely. Well, as I said, long time fan. And then fan of the arts in general. But when I realized I didn't have it, I figured, perhaps I should create creatures by thine own hand, because once again I said, you know, the sex thing, I'm very much looking forward to trying at some point, but it seems to take a little bit longer to result in life, and also very pre-verbal at that point,

and you have to train them with some sort of stagecraft, if you will. So I thought, let me find a way using my science and the full support I assume of God to create a full intelligent adult life so I can use that as a vehicle to make it on to my favorite podcasts, you know what I'm saying. So just to be clear, it sounds like your science, it's a little out there, but it's not in defiance of God, or God's. Look, if you ask me, God is essentially signing off on every single move I do. Well, if a God is signed off on it, then we must see what you've done.

I'm excited to hear more about it. When you started podcasting, it must have seemed out there, you know? You must have told your friends and family and they said, that can't surely be a thing. That is worth the investment of time. You will receive no acclaim, no coins for some sort of business as podcasting. I mean, yeah, my parents were wildly disappointed. So I can relate to that.

Right, right. And often when I've tried to describe this podcast to people, there's sort of a glazed look they get in their eye when they realize they've asked, and I am telling them. Yeah, and to be fair, a lot of people do say, how's your little show, right? I'm right. Why can't you call it by its name or say your

podcast or how's the show going, but they always call it your little show. And I know what that means. Absolutely. And I'm sure there's also that thing that the three of you experience. And you were talking about this, you said, or the eyes glazing over.

Yeah, so you were. Where you realize, oh, they now perceived me to be one of those people who is sort of delusionally working on a podcast that no one really cares about. And you're at a position where you can't say, no, it's actually kind of a thing. Like, it's like, I'm not trying to brag, I have no elegance about this, but people do.

I mean, people hold apples up to their ear. They're actually invested in this, but at that point, if you say it, it seems like you don't protest too much. Yes, exactly. It can be a problem, because you don't want to seem braggadocious, at least I certainly don't.

Absolutely not, yes. Speaking of pants, I actually tried to keep the existence of it from my pants, because I didn't know if they were moving. I think it was too weird, but I made the mistake of using my real name, so they definitely found it.

That's the issue. And look, it's an issue I've come across as well. I often wish that I had hidden behind some sort of character, but as I said, I am no performer, I merely a brilliant scientist, I create the characters, and then burden them with ongoing life. Wow. Yes, what manner of creatures have you given life to breathe life into Dr. Sain? Well, I'm glad you asked it once again. Thank you for being a professional and keeping me on track.

Oh, certainly. It takes a little while to make these creatures work. Not that it's my ultimate ambition. I was such a fan of this show. I felt like, you know, it's a media short-term goal, make one that will be a sort of big enough get to get you booked on hello from the magic tavern. So I created first a man sort of coupled together, much like how I said I used produce to attempt to create communication devices. I used several different men that I found around the bog in my property. Much like Yusudor just having a ha-a-a-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- It does make me suspicious that you phased it that way though. Like I'm not keeping these men I found in the bog

trapped in my bedroom. Fair enough, but also I'm not the one who you should be suspicious of when we're literally seeing a woman cleft in twain in the background of you sedoirs of ruin portal right now. I mean, it's just a bisexual. Right, exactly. Another thing you might notice if you look closely upon my visage and my image is that I have this pocket square here in my robe.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, look, it's still coming out. More different colored pieces of cloth than you would ever imagine would fit in a single pocket. Okay, and this is a great opportunity to bring up. I've been meaning to ask you. And now I think I found my answer. Why do you appear to have the world's longest pocket? This is one pocket that spans from almost the neck to naval.

I entered the world's longest pocket competition and I won and then once I had it I figured I might as well stuff a lot of different colored scarves in there. Well anyway, to get things back on track, I created this man cobbled together a sort of resourceful kind of environmentally conscious, you know. I have a major issue with single-use humans. You know, I think they're very wasteful. So I tried to see if I could use the best aspects, the sort of retrievable aspects of different plague victims

and cobbled together my own man who I henceforth named Franklin Einstein. Oh, how lotta both you. Arnold is a multi-use human. He's stabbed with a sword and he's still walking around and living. And that's what I like to see. That is actually what I like to see. Anyway, I thought Frank Lynn Einstein was going to be my ticket.

It turns out not very intelligent. Frank was not incredibly verbal. And I kept on having to bring a flame closer to him in order to try to light properly for a room cast and he did not react kindly. And then also listening to your show, I felt a little too close to some other guests you've possibly had in the past. Oh, sh**, I went, you gotta be a little too close to some other guests you've possibly had in the past, right?

Sure. I went, you got to be a little more creative. Can I go inside and... Please, please, please. Can I ask Franklin Einstein, do you prefer we refer to that failed experiment as Franklin Einstein or Dr. Sains first monster? I would prefer Dr. Sains first monster. I feel like people often refer to him. My friends as they were as a Franklin Einstein monster, which is fundamentally incorrect. And when did we make the leap to monster?

Well, and that's actually the thing I find the most offensive. I mean, look, he's cobbling. What a presumptuous thing to say on how brewing life. Look, I hate if I sound old fashioned, but he's cobbling life together from bodies of plague victims he found in the bog. You have to imagine odds are high that they're monster. You know, I appreciate you saying that, and I agree. I will say I didn't even take offense to all of you

saying it this time because I have long ago lost that battle. The Townspeople hate Franklin Einstein. If the Townspeople hate Dr. Franklin Einstein, sorry, you're, he's just Franklin Einstein. You're the doctor. Correct. If the Townspeople hate him and you created him, aren't you the monster?

Well, and this has been brought up and I try to not really lend way to that argument I just killed him. I just said this is a failed experiment. Let's just cut it off, you know Sounds sane to me right. I cut it his head off. I cut it now head off Not to now, but you know in the moment that's what I said to him. But on the subject of now. Oh, I'm sorry that's cold. Like as you cut his head off, were you making eye contact? And you said I cut that head off? Dead eye contact. I'm blinking eye contact. Which kind of proves the point that you're a bit of a monster. I mean anytime you make a man it's a rocky situation, but to give it a name and then to send it out

into the village, that's bonkers. I don't want to lead credence. It is just fueling the flames that we use to telegraph our projections over runes, so to speak. All right, anyway, we're drag-going this story out. Let's, uh... Yeah, absolutely. Let's try to, uh, I'd like, you said said were there experiments after Franklin Einstein?

Oh, absolutely. Yes, but so I said, you know, perhaps I should not make my own life out of the whole clock. Perhaps I should sort of just try to produce the circumstances that would result in an interesting guess for you guys. So I had a friend, Terence, and I led him out to a moor one night. Well, I knew that happened to be some rabbit wolves who legend habits have been passed first. So I just kind of kept on saying, Terence, why don't you pet the wolves? Why not try to feed them?

Why not smother your hand in the food? And then wave it around. You know, it's sort of a goof-a-lock. Anyway, they mangled him beyond belief. And I thought he would come back as some sort of uber-powerful, part-world-part man. Which he kind of did. I would say he has ended up being a more sort of what I would like to call

Where are thou Wolf? You didn't decide to call him Wolf Einstein? I mean, that no, that is didn't decide to call him Wolf Einstein? I mean, that is what I decided to call him. At first, that was his proper name as it worked. But this guy gets lost so easily. I truly cannot keep track of him. So I started calling him more like a way out the outwolf.

You know? Who's afraid of a word out the wolf? I mean, very few people. This woman, Virginia and town. But other than her, I ought that wolf, you know. Who's afraid of a world that wolf? I mean, very few people, this woman Virginia in town, but other than her, I almost know one. She is terrified by him, and I think it is truly just because she thinks he has so little spatial awareness. He will storm into her home and then subject her to some sort of tense, multi-hour night of, you know,

a torrid, dramatic drama. Oh well, I, you of tense, multi-hour night of, you know, a Tori-Dramastic Drama. Oh, well, you would hope that wouldn't happen with such a wolf, you know. Most wolves, I've noticed, can't even get into a home without blowing and blowing. And then they'd just blow in the whole house out. Absolutely, absolutely. Sexual favors to get inside a house, that's,

I don't agree with that. You know, I will say that the dogs on the beach I found here, when they lick you, there is some amount of healing process going on. So I'm not sure if that's something where if you try and create another wolf man, if you want to have him get a Saint Beach Nard. Now, I'm very easily defeated.

It's sort of one at bat for me. And by that I mean, one time attempting to get bitten by a bat. So Chun, are you saying that you want him to say his wolfman's got an art? Saint Beach Nards. Saint Beach Nards. Yes, a wood but that was a case but unfortunately it's not. Then of course I mean just sort of speed round here. I thought perhaps I'm sort of a aquatic creature.

Ooh. There is a gray sinkhole on my property. I read round here, I thought perhaps I'm sort of a quatic creature. Ooh! There is a gray sinkhole on my property. Oh, yeah. So I thought perhaps I should make some sort of a guild man, you know? A creature who would come henceforth from this gray sinkhole. Unfortunately, he did not want to leave. I mean, he was so comfortable there, like a hand and a glove. He just wants to stay in that sinkhole.

So the creature from the gray sinkhole is just the creature in the gray sinkhole. Correct. Correct. I wanted to be a from. I said, you know, it does not have to define you where you are from. You choose who you are. And you would know, I really think this is my identity is just staying in this sinkhole. That's a shame because it's like he's kind of not that interesting there, but if he

takes it. I agree, I agree, I think you got to take him out and that's where the juice is. Oh yeah, and he wouldn't even come out to like fuck or anything? No, I mean that's what I thought. I said, you know, first of all, you know, let's start out with you basically sort of just scaring the town, creating some dramatic tension, you know, is he a threat? Is he misunderstood? And then we could ask a lady too,

I think you must find someone to fuck. I think that's really where this thing is going to gain some sort of prestige, you know? Some notoriety, you know? Well, Dr. Sain, I like that you spend a lot of time just like yelling into bodies of water, trying to cook stings out to find you. And then of course there was my mummy, you know, my attempt to create the perfect guest

my mummy. Your own mother? Yes, exactly. I just think my mother is very funny, you know, and I said like, oh, if she could just say on a podcast, the kind of stuff she says to me, you know, this kind of dynamic, if we could replicate this, this would work. So I brought to the town square and it did not work. She became very self conscious. Dr. I have an idea and it's kind of outdated and it's kind of dumb, but also kind of catchy.

What if you took all those monsters and just sort of mashed them up? Well, I did try a sort of monster mixer. Oh, was that this morning or? Yeah, when did you do that? Last night or? No, no, no, I mean this was yes. It wasn't last night, but I was working in...

Say, where were you working? In my lab. I was working my lab late one night. I can't remember which one it was in particular. Did anything happen? Did anything happen to you while you were there? one night, I can't remember which one it was in particular when... Did anything happen? Did anything happen to you while you were there? Well, I was overcome with quite a friend. Oh, right.

Yes, yes. You know, the fright was why I hadn't I thought of this as sooner. Perhaps I am being too limited in thinking that, you know, my entire universe of my career should rest on the shoulders of just one of these creatures. Perhaps I need to view this as more of a dark universe. And there's always a fear that the monsters will get together and pick it. Absolutely, absolutely. So I said, let's try to strengthen numbers, make this a dark universe where the creatures

can all sort of support each other and make each other seem a little more interesting. And once again, the mistake was I led with my mummy. I thought my mummy was the one who had the juice to really kick off the entire. It's understandable, Dr. Sain, it's a very universal problem. That's what I thought, I said, everyone has a mummy, you know,

and so there's a lot of success with mummies in the past. And so that will make this mummy a very good starting point for my doc universe. And people said, we've seen mummies too many times. We all have mummies in the past and so that will make this mummy a very good starting point for my dark universe. And people said we've seen mummies too many times. We all have mummies. It's, you know, we place boots on our mothers, we take them off, we reboot our mothers. You know, this is all tat as it's where. Now, a far be it for me to tell you what to do for your scientists and I am the incredible

wizard. But you said you were trying to coax something out of a swamp to have relations with your creature from the gray sinkhole. Have you ever considered creating a bride for one of them? Creating a bride from whole cloth that could marry off to one of your other creatures. Or you? I'm sorry, but that does sound a little bit sexy. It does, yeah, it does.

Yeah. Absolutely. To say first of all, I need to make a woman, specifically, to fulfill the desires of myself, or another male, and you're saying to own her, you know, I'm not looking to have my doctorate canceled as it were. That's fair. I mean, nothing it exists yet, but I mean, nothing would be worse to get pre-canceled

before you even really have your moment. Yeah. You can still get pregnant from pre-canceled. I think it's not fair to. Fundamentally, yes, that's why I've held off from sex at this point. Go on. It's also not fair if you made some sort of bride, if her whole title was in service to another creature, right? Thank you. With the agency, as I said, I'm always made some sort of bride if her whole title was in service to another creature right?

Thank you! Where's the agency as I said? Yeah! I'm always trying to sort of uh you know with my creature in the sinkhole I said become something bigger give yourself an A. He said no I'm just good with this sinkhole stuff. So I'm really trying to encourage them to become the leaders of their own narrative as they... So at most you might encourage them to come out and fuck but you don't want to tell them who to fuck how to fuck stuff like that absolutely absolutely it has to happen organically and at a point where it feels like they have been in the public eye for enough cycles

that people are willing to take them more seriously than people go like oh this is an interesting new angle you what we've gone through all the basic monster behavior. Yes. I would buy a sticker for my wooden cart that said, I only support organic fucking. So if you ever wanted to get into that game, I think that's a really good phrase. Well, and perhaps that is a hustle worth exploring on the side. No, Chant, why do you keep talking about organic openings? Let's not going to get into beats. No, it's fair. Look, Ah-ani, allow the man to create whatever sounds and movements he wants.

That is just swish. Thank you. Yeah, look, I explain some of my failures, but I'm not here to lick wounds. I'm here because I finally have created the perfect guest for your podcast. I went back to the source. I listened closely and I said I should listen to the show. I should provide this show with the guest. They have been demanding all of this time. Queen Titania? Well, Lin-Manuel Miranda? I am a fan of the show. I want nothing more than

to appear on your podcast. But that is not appealing to you gentlemen. I understand that. I have the modicum of self-awareness to understand that. So I said, what are these three gentlemen fans of? What would they love to see appear? Because they have been following the work for so long. Jordan Peel? The town peeler, the man who removes the Bruce spots off our vegetables. Is that who you speak of?

Yeah, the guy used to partner up with the locksmith of course. Yeah, go down. You would get a new key and a quick peeling But no, but no a fictional character. Oh,, of course, of the favorite play of you three gentlemen. Yes. Farts. Automaton Constable. Oh my God, this is what? You made an autonomous pop-up pop-up pop. You store your favorite play.

You talk about it all the time, or at least a half a dozen times, over various episodes, Automaton Constable? Dr. Sain, are you telling me that you have taken a law enforcement officer struck down in his prime and made him into some sort of clockwork, man? Uh, I don't know. You tell me. A shoo shoo shoo.

Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa, it's not only made of gears, it also says, click, clack. A ton of tons, Constable. I am Yusudoh, and I'm your biggest fan. Yeah. Oh, I don't think it's spoken in a while.

Whether thou art dead or alive, and Never to play. You shall become like me. Oh. Are we into a rest? Holy shit, is this a sting? No, I think that's his catchphrase. Oh, who? No, no, no, gentle man. I just thought you would find it a little exciting to hear him speak the, uh, his most popular saying.

Oh, yes, wonderful, wonderful. Oh, what a beautiful creation. is, Dr. Sain. I take it back. All the negative things I've said about science, all of these years, I take them all back. Thank you, thank you. Yes, how bad could science be if it allows you to take a stricken town constable,

tell his wife and child that he is dead for good, and then giving him a new lease on life with no memory of who he once was. Oh, it's a tale for the ages. The part about his wife and family, that doesn't seem like necessary. Let's not talk on that. Uh, a Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma- Toma, Toma, Toma, Toma, Toma, Toma, Toma, Can I just call you AC? AC, can we talk to you for a little bit? Ah, show, load, like...

Oh, that seems trademarked. Michael Kain? Are you 18? No. No. Um, AC, thank you so much for being on the show. We are a huge fan of your... My pleasure.

Have you long time first time? Oh, long, long time first time. I listen to that show a lot and The people around you. Yeah, absolutely. I'm forced to listen to it. Absolutely. Automaton Consibles are down to me listening all the time. Yeah. Um, so AC, we just heard a little bit about your family Tell us about your your wife and kids. Oh, oh, John. Oh shit. wife Kids Oh, oh, chant, oh shit. Wife. Kids. Is it just like the play where he begins to remember? Oh no!

Oh, I'm sorry, gentlemen, give me a moment here. He is staring off into the middle distance and slightly vibrating. We just do it. The middle distance. The thoughtful distance. Oh, a gentleman proceed with questioning. Oh, what's your favorite color, AC?

What? What? AC, I have a question for thee. Are you using your own brand of unbridled justice to bring goodness and correctness back into the world? Great question. When I started, my aim was to solely follow the directives of O.C.P. O.C.P? You're down with OCP? I am down with OCP, the Order of Corrupt People. Oh! What? That was before I understood that is what the name stood for when I thought they were benevolent. Originally, I followed the directives of the order of corrupt people, but once I started to uncover the corruption inherent in their name, I started operating My lovely. This is wonderful. Just like the play, he's overcome what has created him

and he has seen the light. And now he fights for goodness and justice. Oh, Tabiton Constable, I must ask thee, will thou join my quest to defeat the Dark Lord? Which Dark Lord would this be? I kind of have my hands full at the moment. It's kind of capital T the The Dark Lord like the Dark Lord like the big bad Dark Lord I feel like I

tend to work best in sort of lower tier antagonists so Richard Jones Head of the order of corrupt people you can't get your hands full with this whole OCP thing You had your own like Nemesis basically Absolutely and Sir Richard Jones has been making an autonomous Constable of his own to take me down. Oh no, autonomous constable, Dr. Sain, I beg of you.

I shall take AC away from his duty to protect his own land, but I do beg of you. If you do err, oh I'll come your own Nemesis. Please, reach out to me. Speak to me through the room and I shall bring you along to join my quest against you. Well, that sounds like an invitation to make another appearance which I will not turn down. But in the immediate, I must stay focused on defeating Sir Richard Jones and his Atomaton Sir Edward X X I

I gotta say and I feel maybe this is rude to say so I feel like once the Atomaton Constable defeats the other Atomaton Constable it's kind of like do you need more Atomaton Constable at that's kind of like, do you need more Atomaton Constable at that point? Like, yeah, we don't need a super-free. Is it a mistake to keep going with the Atomaton Constable story? I am sure that after defeating Edward XXXX, that will be the last I ever need to find another autonomous on any kind. I agree.

Now wait a minute here, this may also be rude. Dr. Sain, would you please get back on the horn? Yes, I know. Hello, hello, hello. Would you mind and bring AC next to you? Would you mind drinking a glass of water? What do you mind drinking a glass of water while AC talks? Absolutely! Yes, here I go.

Juggling. Juggling from my jug. Juggling, yeah, that's a good... Yeah, juggling from my jug. Is that something? I don't know. Is that a T-shirt? That's a tunic?

All right, let me take a quick sip here. Go, goop. Way down a on the short knee river. Goop goop. Okay, alright, never mind. I'm I'm sorry, I thought there was something else going on. It seemed to stop briefly when the thing had ended, but you know what? Well, we all catch on breath near mid-Gulp.

Do we not? It seemed like a very normal way to drink to me. You announced it for a few seconds before you do it. Take your sweet time doing it, and then let your friends sing. Thank you! You would never turn around and say gulp gulp. You would actually be doing the gulp gulp. Well, listen, I, you know, I must admit, I'm a little shy about drinking in public in front of others.

Dr. Singh, you have done a wonderful thing for this world of food, and I think the, you've taken a Tomaton Constable out of the pages of literature and theater, and brought it to life. And for that, I salute thee. Whoa, that's amazing. When you said or saluted, his many colored hankership turned into some sort of technicolored dream-ro. Also, more kites fell out of his mouth. A number that he could not possibly have preset.

Yes, more kites, and you could add, imagine, continue to fiddle up your room. You never thought you'd see so many kites, and here I shall create life, mine self, by saying, beee, beee, beee, beee, beee. Tiny horses with top hats, beee, beee. Beee, beee. Buddy, buried the lead, next time start with that.

Absolutely. Beee, beee, beee. Well, this is a lot to take in. Suddenly, everything I believed in has revealed to be a lie. Magic is real, and magic is great. Magic is real, and magic is great. But what I have learned today, after many years of fighting it, is that science is also great? And together, magic in science shall work together, Dr. Sain.

And we shall overcome all of our obstacles. Oh, clap, clap, clap. Hold on one second, her Tom-Ton Constable is tapping me on the shoulder, very firmly. OK. Hello, yes. Please tell me about Constable Murphy. Oh!

Oh no! Who's that? That's a Tomatong constable. We're assuming that in context, Clue, see how that was his real name. I've seen the play. Do we think the doctor had his necration vaccinated? What?

What are you talking about? A constable Murphy. Uh, uh, she's deeply rings a bell, uh, uh, brutally murdered in his prime. Good constable. Nothing to see here. Murphy had a wife and a sporn. What happened to them? I mean, look, I'm a private citizen. You can't expect me to keep tabs on the wife and child of every single slain

Constable who I had no hand in the demise of So do you guys have any other like segments? I thought he was gonna kill him or something. I didn't know who's gonna happen there. I will take my wooden spike and chavit through your genitals. Oh! I'm never gonna kill them. Rain the St. Beat Battle.

Silence was over the top. It's graphic. I don't know. I found it oddly funny. Yes, it's graphic, but it's satirical. satirical? I gotta say, I gotta walk something back from earlier. I wanna see a sequel to that.

AC, why is your spike still out? SIRLY you have hurt me and embarrassed me as much as you could anyone man. No. Doctor. Oshable. Nathan. Say. You are.

Terminated. 3. Oh man. Wow. I'm probably gonna dump them in a Oh, man! Wow. If I get a double-man embargo, guys. Anyway, as I was saying, big fan of the podcast, we showed you a thank you. That return up here in two. This is very into the new quest you are setting up for me to take part on. And certainly, a time on the time Constable will never deliver the menacing results.

No, there's no way you turn into a cartoon of yourself. It is weird for me, you know, in my biases that I was vehemently against having a fan on, but when, but the fans' creation is okay with me. So what does that say about me that I'm just against a fan being on, but then the creation of the fan who's also a fan, I'm okay with it and I enjoy. We love fan art. That is what I was going to say. You got a fan before.

You know, I've got to say. Well, to be fair, he speaks much better. Going to save you got there before you know I've got a sick to be there. He speaks my tongue a ton of time Natural disadvantage when it comes to banter because it just takes a while to get stuff out They should almost hold me a Toma Tom Constant and cuz it's like I speak one Holy shit, and he's inventing standup time I told you guys I was funny it's funny all those those five gears on his chest are all tightly wound in and he has a nice tight spot so I feel like we blew past the revelation that Dr. Sain's full name and initials

are Dr. A.N. Sain. And, and, and, and, and, saying? Wow. What a revelation. I am so glad you picked up on that. What a finna shame had that not ever among all of them. Oh, surprise. Can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not.

I mean, it's not like his first name is Ikebaud. Then his name would be Insane, yes, but... Watch a ball. His first name is Archibald Nemesis. Archibald Nemesis. Is that something? Yeah, that's something. I mean... I just want to circle back to an earlier point. Despite perception, automaton

constable is nothing if not sincere. There is not a sarcastic bone in my body. Oh, it's a good thing I'll ask an answer, please. A lot of satire, though. Are you a long-term fan of the show? How will you be murdered when you eventually appear? By the time it happens, will you welcome it? Get in touch! You zed all the wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant the Badger Head on a Stick was played by Adolf Refyre. Archibald ensain the scientist, and his creation, Automaton Constable, were both played by special guest Griffin Newman.

Griffin played Arthur on both seasons of the tick on Amazon Prime. See there is something on Amazon Prime besides Fleabag. Check out his podcast, Blank Check with Griffin and David. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neekant, Matt Young and Abel Rafahe. Post production coordination by Garrett Schultz. Ear will producer Kimmy Lucas. This episode edited by Chris Rathjinn. Special assistance by Ryan DeGeorgie.

Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. You've been listening to the hello from the Magic Tavern credits. A sweet and delicious treat only accessed by slogging through 40 to 60 minutes of cumbersome pre-show. It's the podcast equivalent of an artichoke. And now, sit back and listen to something else. As if I, Dr. Archibald and Sai, must rebuild myself into some sort of a tamathan constable, the second.

Uh, sorry, Dr. Sai. Yes. I just came out of the grey sinkhole because I don't think it can be anything I can eat. I am literally bleeding out of both my genitals and my charm right now. Does this look like a good time? Should I come back tomorrow? Here's meat in the fridge. Oh!

We should all team up. Come back tomorrow. There's meat in the fridge. Oh! We should all team up. Now wrap for daddy. you