Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 3, Ep 49 - Ranger (w/ Chris Gethard)

Episode Date: July 13, 2020

We finally have a ranger on, and he has a complicated relationship with animal companions.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungKarktur the Ranger: Chris GethardMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Garrett SchultzSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. We have an appointment with a fake alternate dimension to keep, and like our hopes of ever

again being featured on the Apple Music homepage, their world is shattered. Not to worry, patchulently undermining each other's derivative ideas works just as well over a remote connection. So, let's sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon. I'm your host, Arnie Meacamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. Five years and some change ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago, into the magical, fantastical land of Foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune. Luckily I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional riff and I use that to upload a podcast,

chronicling our quest to defeat the dark lord. And you know, small complication, there was a magical event that has trapped everyone in small parcels of land in fune and you know we currently have to do the podcast remotely. We soldier through and I am joined. Ellamy pull him up on the room. I am joined as always by my co-host. I don't know what form he's taking this week. I chunk the shape shifter.

Oh yeah, baby. I can do it, buddy. Good, you getting a close up with my face here? Ah, yes, I see your face. But it's almost like it's so close up that I... It's almost like you're hiding something. Okay, how do my pores look? I mean, I don't...

I did look okay. Fair enough. Let me go ahead and put down the ruin and I'm gonna step back. Where do you want? I'm so sorry, I'm gonna interrupt. Yeah, I hate to ask this. Okay, how do my pores look? Oh, um, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Okay, yeah, that sounds positive.

All right. Okay, I'm gonna step back a little bit. I'm gonna show you what I'm working with here. Look, look at my body. I got a real muscular human body now. Ah, okay. There's a decapitated body washed up on shore. Real big guy, real muscular guy.

As a tattoo, this is buff enough with a heart around it and I figured why not. Okay, so yeah, so for people who maybe didn't listen last, couple of weeks, you have shapeshifted into just a badger head. And now you've somehow attached that to a freakish muscle man body, probably one of the muscle men from Strong Guy Island. Presumably.

But yeah, I was a badger head on a stick, stick pop, and then this body washed up, so I went ahead and put my head on that. Sometimes it'll go a little limp, but I'm feeling pretty good. Well, it happens. How about you? What are you working with? Where are you at now?

Well, this is, here's the thing. This will be surprising. This is not a decapitated corp spotty. This is my body. I came into this world and another world in WIFT. Still got a sword through it. Still, I have a magical sword stuck. And I, you know, I think I told you this last week,

I've discovered that cut through the walls of the shattering with the obsidian sword, but I guess it takes a lot of work. It is exhausting. Sure takes it toll. I haven't moved around much this week. Are you still, are you at Rapunzel's castle? Are you back at the schoolhouse where are you now, buddy?

You know, I am like at a wall a few paces away from the from the tower Because you know what? You don't want to just hang you have someone on the podcast. You don't want to hang around You don't want to be like, oh that was great, but Hey, let's just spend the week let's spend the week together It's weird. It's awkward. Even if you want to. Yeah, I get it. Is, uh, is Yusudor still around? Ah, speaking of overstaying, welcome. Ah, let me bring him up on the rune, my other co-host, Yusudor the Wizard. I am Yusudor, Wizard of the 12th Room of a fesiest Master of Light and Shadow,

Minipulator of Magical Delights, devour of Chaos. The power of... Champion of the Great Holes of Turokus, the Hobes Noomi is Fying Yalek. The Dwarvesnumius zoning in hook stengies, and I am noon in the North East as gasmanius Mastar, and there may be other secret names. Oh, names hidden in the mists of time, that if air once again discovered, would most assuredly, make you bleed from your toenails. Oh, that would be bad.

Hey, you should all look. Yes. Little badger head on a big buff body. Oh! Flexing on the right and the left. Oh, where did you get that big body? Is that a tumor? Uh, no.

I don't think so. That is not a tumor? It's not a tumor. Hey, you said or it's not a tumor. I was a little slow. I blamed the delay on me being slow on that one. Alright, now this is BigBuff Body Wash to Shore. John, I gotta say you're a doorbell a little badger head on a big like Overly muscular body. I feel like I've seen fan art like that and I have scrolled past quickly

Well, let's hope some more pops up. I have a wonderful news to share with the two of the. Oh, I have been working on the shattering? No, no, not that. I have other wonderful news to share with thee. Oh, have you figured out how to wait and feed the dark lord? No, still working on that. You're a dad? No, I have sort of interesting news to share with thee. Well, we'll decide that. Just so you have, it's like, it's like if I were to say, hey, I have sort of interesting news to share with thee. Well, we'll decide that. Just say you have, it's like, it's like if I were to say, hey, I have a funny story. I should just say I have a story. You guys will decide if it's funny, right?

So don't say I have an interesting sort of news. I don't know, might feel like. It's just what's a burden on me to like give you the deep and notes in response to your story. I have something to say. Okay. Thank you. There you go. I have been spending all week examining Roon and learning its many intricacies.

And I have discovered a way to continue recruiting for my quest against the Dark Lord. And I have found waiting rooms here in Roon that allow me to speak to mages and dwarven minors and cobalts who specialize in creating machinery at weapons all manner and class of adventurers who wished to defeat evil. You said, are you all right? There's something going on with your breathing. D.V.U. You said, are you all right? There's something going on with your breathing. Who-who-there is? There's some new-there's some sort of new sound coming out of you.

You know, I feel like every 20 or 30 episodes you add a new sound in there. But do you have an edge? Hi! Oh, oh buddy. I think you have a wake apnea. I have a wake apnea. Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That's coming out now.

Even worse. Can't even say it right. What? I'm sure that I've always sounded. Ah! Exactly like this. Oh, once we called it out, it got worse. Let's not, Arnie, let's not mention it anymore.

Yeah, oh boy, never again. Don't even, whoever, if you're listening, don't even put it on the wiki. But aren't you excited? Aren't you excited that perhaps they're... Augh! Maybe some new adventurer willing to join my quest even in these dark times where each of us is trapped in some crystalline prison waiting,

biting our time, til it's time to once again defeat and rise up against that dark lord. That is great news, congratulations. Still, thank you. Yeah, I will admit it's a very good segue to bring on the guest. Oh, thank you. I will. I can do that if you like. I was right before we joined and started the podcast.

I was in a room full of Rangers. And there are some very interesting folk there. Although it seems to have thinned out a bit. I think they were wrapping up their time I always forget which ones are Rangers, but you know what we can ask him about there They're the ones that protect the parks for those are walkers walkers are Rangers. Ah well There are park Rangers. Yes They specialize in in protecting the forest lands, but a ranger is a devilish swordsman, capable of great feats of strength. They also know nature and tracking, and they can live in the out of doors and they commune with nature, but they are also deeply brooding and full of mystery.

Oh great, let's bring him on and I'll ask him to explain where Wizard is. Well, very well, let me here add him in here to our chat here. I, friend, speak forth thy name and be known. Hello. It is I, Carch, Tour of the Tumult Valley. Thank you so much for having me on the show. Oh, it is a pleasure to have thee. I am so excited to be meeting a new class of adventurer. We've never had a ranger on the show before.

Somehow. You've never had a ranger on the show? No, I don't know that. No, I haven't. Until recently, I haven't traveled much. I haven't met a I haven't traveled much that haven't met a single ranger Is this like the fourth episode of the show? How you not had a ranger? Is it really in the run of the show? About 250-ish? 250?

Yeah, so what are that range? 250. Yeah. Not one ranger. Not one ranger. Not on a ranger. It's a pressure on me. I feel like I'm now representing my whole class. That's a lot.

Oh well. That's alright. Hey, I'm sure you're an excellent Ranger. And I would be happy to have you join my inquests to defeat the Dark Lord. I'd be happy to join up. Shibwornya. I mean, I love a good adventure. And I think if you asked amongst the Rangers, they'd say, you know, I'm not going to claim

that I'm the most veteran Ranger, but I think people see a lot of potential in me. And I could add a lot, but I should warn you just good faith. There's a little bit of drama in my life right now. Oh, okay. So if you take me on, you may also be taking on that drama, which is not to say that it couldn't work. And Lord knows, especially in these times,

work is working, I'm happy to do it, but I don't wanna pretend. I mean, I told you, I'm from the Tommalt Valley, everything in my life is generally Tommaltuous. Right now, of course, things are a little Tommaltuous for me, which is on-brand. For anybody from the Tommalt Valley, I hate to fit the stereotype. Sure.

Well, the Tommalt Valley has such a peaver over the years. It has been very difficult for Folks such as yourself to have Consistent and happy fruitful lives. I mean There have been at least what 17 kings in the last 20 years or so Yeah, there's actually been 17 kings in the last 20 years or so? Wow, yeah. There's actually been 17 kings in the last 11 years. Ooh, yeah. Averaging more than one king per year.

Some of that is obviously because of cools and people being overthrown. Other is brutal unexpected deaths. Some of them at large public events where we all gather to celebrate Yeah, it's gonna be traumatized. Oh trauma. It's funny because people asked me to describe my hometown and

Any of us who grew up there you guys have already said traumatizing and up heevil and those are probably the words that come up most often I will say the badgers know to molt as a cool world because there's so many coups so we just call it cool world. That makes sense and Badgers are always welcome. I mean if you know anything about Rangers and a lot of Rangers come out of the Timult Valley because we all want to leave. Yeah. And we all tend to go off and brood on our own. Yeah. Well I know one I do know a veteran Ranger that we should have had on the show. Noan Rian was a veteran ranger. You know Noan Rian? Yeah, well yeah, absolutely.

I went on a few adventures with him. Yes. And what's cool about being a ranger that I found out from Noan is that rangers basically get to choose their own adventure. Yeah, we're not necessarily bound by any strict moral codes as some other adventurers, some front-iron thing. Noan Rian,

I tell you, I'm sure you remember, he was known, you know, I stick to their basics. Bowen arrow, broad sword. He could take out a person with a rock from about 90 feet away. That's why I'm eat, he threw a eight. I do know he was a little bit embarrassed because he had a few battles. I can't remember how many,

but he did mention that what stuck with him over his career was he had a few battles where he didn't hit anyone. And that for him was a big soy spot that he had a few no hitters. Now, it's embarrassing to take a swing at someone and just in a battle, purely not touch anyone. And still win, that's embarrassing. He gets down on himself, the rest of us try to tell

me that we still you know actually in some ways we actually are really impressed by that it's you know borderline perfect you know hey I'm a cool guy too I could talk about I could join this you seem cool yeah oh thank you thank you I could you know I've heard of rangers too like there's chip and Dale I think he's one of those rescue rangers. I think that's what we're doing. Yeah, I know him. In the world of Rangers, some of us are wanders, warriors, most of us have a yes, there are rescue rangers as well.

They tend to be a little smaller and less physically impressive. And your hair is not as good as my hair. So I'm so sorry could you say your name again it was it? Carc tour? Carc tour. Carc tour. Carc tour. Carc tour. Carc tour.

Carc tour. Carc tour. Is that a family name? K-A-R-K-T-U-R. Yes I had an uncle named Carc tour and and my grandfather's brother, so I guess my great uncle. Yeah, it's a kind of a family name. Classic passing the name down through the uncles. Probably my uncle would have named his son Carcdor, but he only had girls, so... Carcdor, not a good girl's name.

And I hate to generalize in that way, but it just doesn't seem like a great girl's name. I know. What a hard confidence. And I have to ask, I may be wrong, and this may be offensive, but is that the past tense of cockatoo? That is offensive. My apologies.

I'm so sorry. I just know a lot of animal wildlife, and I thought maybe a carcotor is the past tense of cockatoo. My apologies. No, I mean, I am not personally offended, but I'm letting you know it is offensive to many from my apologies. No, I mean, I'm not personally offended, but I'm letting you know it is offensive to many from my world.

And I'll ask you to just cut the shit and we can move on. Yes, sir, I'll cut the shit. My apologies. Can I ask though, just follow up from a few moments ago, can you tell us what the drama is? Sure. I also feel a little weird, because as a Ranger, I'm a friend to Animal Fulk everywhere. And I did, you know, I've been seeing these rune backgrounds.

And I thought maybe I had one of those rune backgrounds, but are you a badger on a jackpotty? Yeah. Cool. Well, probably connect on that badger level. It's been a long time since I've crossed paths with a badger. Yeah, so the drama, and it could just get in the way of an adventuring party in our goals.

Okay, so you may know that very often, Rangers are more comfortable with nature than with men. We spend so much time in the woods, the forest, that oftentimes we lose touch with our ability to even connect with fellow humans. And what happens is we often connect with animals. And for many years I've had an animal companion Onus of the fallen ramfolk I'm sure you've heard of the fallen ramfolk, right? Oh the fallen ramfolk. How sad. Yes, I have heard of the terrible curse But I don't believe Arnie knows of it. Arnie, do you know of the fallen ramfolk?

Let's see here. I don't think I do the fallen ramfolk folk were some of the only four-legged creatures in the realm that could speak, which was actually very impressive. There's a little bit of a four-legged bias I find in the world where people just assume four-legged creatures can't speak and they could speak. Of course, many, many years ago, some say centuries ago, they allied themselves in a war between rival gods and they picked the wrong God. And, you know, of course, the God that one said, we could attempt it to slaughter you all, but I'd rather give you a fade worse than death. So now they can understand, but theyoken language. So communication can be hard. Oh, Ness and I linked up, and I tell you, it was really, it was like the jelly and peanut butter.

I hate to backtrack a little, and far be it for me to quibble with a God, but is that a faith worse than death? When you are some of the only four-legged creatures and everybody who meets you is like, whoa, these rams can speak. You're bucking every expectation I've ever had of meeting a four-legged creature.

And then that's taken away, and you're just treated like regular rams, but you're sitting there in your head going, no, I understand every word you're saying. When people are saying, oh, these rams look goofy today, look at the weird creepy ram eyes. That ones horns are

are not growing symmetrically and the people don't understand that the Rams are understanding every word and it's having an emotional impact yeah I'm ready to do it every single word it's a tragic tale ony hey no no I'm so sorry and I need to know this is very important is this all Rams and food? No. Most rams are just what you think. They're just rams.

Okay good, because I've said some fucked up shit to some rams. Every once in a while though, one of these rams is of the fallen ram folk and they just kind of mix in with the regular rams now. Imagine if you looked and behaved exactly like a creature that had no intelligence and no one ever understood that you had intelligence and treated you as such.

It would be frustrating. Maybe it's not a fate worse than death, but it's certainly irritating on a deadly basis. That's why whenever I meet a ram, I watch it for a while to see if it's rolling its eyes if it seems like, oh boy, then I'm like, that Ram probably knows what I'm talking about. Yeah, they typically, I mean, being a shapeshifter who's typically an animal, there is a common saying which is, you pile around with fauna, you're gonna have some drama.

And I know that diddies have had these curses on many species, not only the ram folk, but also the martial folk who is formerly a ram. I've always heard that saying as well, if you're going to mess with fauna you're going to have some drama. What I love about it is it almost rhymes. Yeah. So close.

Those are the best ones. Very close to rhymes. It's almost more impressive to be that close to rhyming, not rhyming. A lot of people when they come around a group of rams are in this world, you will find that they will say, if any of the Rams understand me, walk backwards right now. And if there's fallen Rams, they will walk backwards. That's how I first came to me, Onus. But more often than not, there are no fallen Rams, folks.

And you're just, you just look like a Jack S. Yelling at a bunch of Rams. So you have a Rams companion or a ram companion of many years 11 years we've been adventuring together and thickest thieves the whole time I mean I could tell you so many stories of me getting him out of trouble him getting me out of trouble times that people underestimated him for being a ram and it was the key to winning our whole adventure. Time for where we got separated and through my rangering skills and instincts,

we were able to reconnect in beautiful ways that are actually pretty emotional and heartwarming in a way you wouldn't expect. About nine months ago, I brought on an owl. Oh, so you're two animal companions. Yes, and most of them just only have one, but the owl really took to me. It's one of these things where I met the owl. We were in a village.

I fed the owl. The owl helped me out. He went to a very high spire and he was able to tell me the direction from which my enemies were approaching. It's a lot of it's very useful. I thought that was it. Onus of the fallen ramfolk he and I take off and Three full days later I see an owl circling overhead during the day. You only see owls generally at night, huh? So I said I wonder if that's the same owl it was And I realized you know having an owl could be very useful long range reconnaissance primarily I said say to the owl hey, we're gonna be having in this direction. You could go ahead see how many bandits are waiting for us I understand that we're We're going to be having in this direction. We could go ahead and see how many bandits are waiting for us. I understand that we're on days where we're mercenaries,

joining armies with traditional battles. Why don't you go ahead and let me know how much calf or either is infantry. Let's count them up, Owl. Now, Owl comes back, he whispers in my ear. And this means nothing, this relationship. It doesn't mean anything. But onus of the fallen ram fall.

His feelings are very hard. He won't talk to the owls. He pretends he's just a regular ram whenever the owl tries to speak to him. He's not polyramorous. He's not polyramorous at all. And the owl doesn't even have a name. I just call him the owl.

I don't even call him anything. Sure. He's never replaced Onus in my life. I mean, to be fair, I guess maybe 11 years with Onis and the owl is new. Maybe it's the shiny new object in my life. And I am a little excited about this owl getting on board. But yeah.

Is, can I ask, is the Onis on you to name the owl? I see what you did there. No, I'm saying, is your ram companion getting on your case for you to name the owl? Oh, I thought you would is your RAM companion getting on your case for you to name the owl? Oh, I thought you would be, okay, yeah. I think if I was to name the owl, Onus would feel even more threatened.

I think Onus just kind of wants the owl to go away. And here's me. If the owl went away, I'd say, oh, that was cool that we had an owl for a while, and I'd move on with my life. But if the owl wants to stick around, I find very useful well, there is an old saying if you're feeling jealous You must talk to your fellows. Yes So close to riding

Right there that one's really impressive because you if you really just Burn out if you just bent each word a little bit, you wouldn't even really have to change the words to get it to rhyme. If you just go jealous and fellos. No, no, no, I don't want to do that. No. If you say jealous and fellos.

No, no, no, no, I'm going to say fellos. It would be so simple. That's my favorite rhymes are the ones where it would be such a simple adjustment to have it actually rhyme, and yet we choose not to. But without you, you want to maintain how like overly long it is, you don't want to like change it in any way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, if only I could remember it. I think onus of the Fallen Rampful,

maybe if I'm just going to be blunt, regards the owl as some sort of sidepiece. And I would never, I would never think that way. I think we can all work in concert to great effect. Yes, it seems quite advantageous to have two beasts that have lined themselves with thee with such disparate abilities. For the owl, as you said, can fly high above seen all the world as it does span out before thee.

And the ram can knock over small trees Yeah, and ramps can dodge as well. Rams can dodge if you know a dodge ram They they can anything that's thrown at them. They can get under get over this roll to the left roll to the right their hemi power is Absolutely insane and you have to understand on my end when a dodge ram Which owners of the Fallen Ram Folk has high Dodge abilities, when my enemies realize this Ram can dodge anything,

they get preoccupied with trying to take out the Dodge Ram, which opens me up in their distraction to take them out. Having a Dodge Ram is very useful. Yeah, I can understand as a Ranger or a Pathfinder, a Pathfinder and a Dodge Ram make quite a combination, quite a combo. Don't get you out of any Ram Jam. Everything you guys are saying is true.

So can we help name the owl? Does the owl want a name? I mean, I honestly don't even know the owl that well. If you want me to bring them both in, I'll be happy to invite you in. Maybe. Maybe just one at a time. Again, I want to reiterate, neither of them can speak. So I'm willing to let you know what they're thinking through my Ranger intuitions.

I mean, it's probably will be bad audio, but I'm still curious. So just to be clear, you can ask them questions, and then I will answer, even though I will also have parts of the conversation that I want to say on my end And I'll do my best to delineate when I'm reflecting on this with the fallen Ram folks opinions or the I will's opinions or my own But this could be a very muddled and confusing experience. Can I ask and I don't want to like, you know, I want to avoid spoilers But are you going to like do a voice like just for us just so we know like it so we know. How do we delineate? I mean, I will do my best, but I feel like if anyone who knows my work knows I've never

been great at voices or characters. That's true. You've been going to the show. It's rough by the second. Yes. As I get more comfortable, I... It's warming up to us. Yeah, no, I love it.

It's good. I was worried about you at first. Yeah, sure. You said when you did take the owl on, he would go to the top of a spire, scout the cavalry that you maybe you were going to battle with. And then you said he would fly down and whisper in your ear the number of people.

So when he whispers in your ear, is that just sort of, is he saying, who is he saying actual words? Is it just like you and to it? What he means? Well, I'm a ranger. So, oh wait, you guys have never had a ranger on. That's unbelievable. That's unbelievable that I have to lay all the track on this 250 episodes in that's unbuttile. To be fair, we've had a flower on about seven times. The same one, a flower, and not one ranger. Rangers who have tipped the scales of battles in history, who have changed the game, who have joined battles late

and single-handedly turned tides for the forces of good. Clark Tord, you mind telling us about a battle that you joined at the end and turned the tide on? Oh, you have joined so many battles. I've joined so many battles. I mean, did you hear about the, there's that village out in the Western lands. Sort of a bank.

Yes, right on the port of the Western lands in the interlents, you know. Oh, yes, tall think. You were on the border of the western lands and the hinterlands, you know. Oh yes, Tollthink. You were at the Battle of Tollthink? I was at the Battle of Tollthink after the siege. I helped them break the siege! How impressive. I know, I am very impressed.

What an amazing story, the Battle of Tollthink. Actually, I mean, if I'm being totally honest, here's how much credit I give to my companion. I feel like I got a lot of credit for breaking the siege. Owners of the Fallen Rampful kept more to do with it than I did. But really, just my Ranger abilities to communicate with him, bring him to my aid. This is what I brought to the table, but Owners of the Fallen Rampful is the one who eventually smashed through a barricade.

He was shot by seven arrows arrows and yet he never stopped. Smash through the barricade. Allow the convoy to get through and the villagers once again had supplies, both food and weaponry. It's impressive. That is impressive. The owl could never do that. No. Just fly around the sea and be like, all those people are hungry.

So Onus is good at dodging, but he's also good at charging. Oh, yes, he's a real charger. Oh, okay. He's a real charger, yeah. I have to admit, I'm a little squeamish when it comes to battles. If I saw a ram struck by several arrows, I'd be like, you. Yeah, he just keeps going on. This ram can take a lick and then he keeps on kicking you can put him anywhere

He can get through mud. I hate that saying it actually rhymes is he like four feet by four feet Is it like a ram four by four? Yes, he's a four by four. Yes Rugged rugged. I have to say I give you a lot of credit because you don't know anything about Rangers But you do know a lot about Rams. Yeah, I've ran charges for by fours, pathfinders. Lot of rams. Yeah, are you in the market to get it yourself a ram? You see what I mean? A lot.

You've just been shopping around for rams? I'm always in the market for a companion. It's fun to be around it. Yeah, please. Just as a ranger who has experience with these things, just in recent years, there's hybrids. And I would actually think about getting one of those. OK, so that's like part sort of what I am now, which There's hybrids and I would actually think about getting one of those.

Okay, so that's like part, sort of what I am now, which is a badger head on a big old human buff body. Yes, okay. They're mostly rams, but they're mixed with goat and they're great for the environment. Now rams have a reputation for moving cities. Yeah, it's something you've experienced because I feel like if I'm friends with a ram and then they move to different city, I'm going to be pissed off. I'm going to be pissed. I'm going to burn anything I had that had to associate with that ram and I'm going to be fucking mad.

Well, look, see, here's the thing. You hear that a ranger hangs out with an animal and you go, I should get an animal and hang out, but if you're not a ranger, it's an animal. If you're not tapping into the intrinsic connection that ranger study They're all lives you're in the mate not be able to control it so it might ditch you You might spend a lot of money on a ram that at the end of the day is a ram these fools who try to buy Puma says pets You ever hear about these idiots You love alligators and they're bathtub and then they get all freaked out

They call the police on themselves. Animal control, they say I have a human in my home. Zidia's. That's weird. We hear about these guys. Yes, it's ridiculous to get out of here. Tigers, people, these people have two dozen tigers in their backyard. That's wild.

There'd be a ranger to pull this off. You can just proclaim yourself a tiger king. There'd be a king of tigers. You can't just say that. Yeah, you'd be a ranger to pull this off. You can just proclaim yourself a tiger king. Be a king of tigers. Can't just say that. Yeah, you'd be a basket case. Well, I really do want to meet this ram now. Why don't we take a very short break and we'll bring in the ram and the owl

and we'll learn about them a little bit. Okay, that, I'll say just to listen to it. It's a little while to get that ram and owl in by the room, but I'm very excited to learn more about them. Yes, because I would bring onus of the fallen ram folk in, and then when I brought in the owl, onus would leave. And then I'd ask the owl to step out for a second. I'd talk to Onus and then the owl would come back and don't want to start it to feel like one of those

logic puzzles of how do you get the fox and the rabbit and the cheese across the river? And then you just wait about that farmer. Oh, I've heard that it's really annoying because that's the only story he has. Just always tell about the time he got the fox and the rabbit across the river. You know, I'm not a ranger, so I'm not as keyed into the nuances of RAM and

owl communication. To my uneducated eye, it just looked like a RAM just wandering around and an owl just sort of flying in and out of the place and you kind of talk like talking at them a little bit. And I, all of us ranger, are so off at underestimating. You might say, oh, I'm fighting a knight with shitty armor. Oh, but there's also a few mice running around. That's weird. And you don't even realize that those creatures don't see each other as, that the human and

the mice have, and all of a sudden the mice are crawling up in your pants and the nibbling on the parts of you that you don't want nibbled and all of a sudden you've opened yourself up and you've been beheaded by a ranger. Maybe that's what happened to this guy. Flex, flex, flex. That is not a tumor by the way. Oh, it's not a tumor. Should we meet, I feel like we should meet the ram first, right? You've been with him for 11 years? Onus of the fallen ram folk and meet the guys. Guys, this? Onus of the Fallen Ramfolk and meet the guys. Guys, this is Onus of the Fallen Ramfolk. I should remind you guys, you can ask any question you want. It's mostly just going to appear like he's staring back at you.

And if, if you're like, okay, I get what he's going for it, we can just, what if you need me to, if you need me to kind of translate, I'm happy to do so. So what, what's his, I guess before we address him directly, what's his ability to sort of recall information? Like how much RAM does he have? Pitch perfect. Pitch perfect?

So the sort of RAM access memory is 100%. Oh yeah, and it's been upgraded over time. Wow, oh wow. Yeah, back in the early 90s, it was like, you'd work with a RAM and every 11, 12 minutes you'd have to just stop and kind of redownload the information. And I don't know if you guys remember that solar event Pentium, that really changed a lot, that changed a lot of ram.

So what the process? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Now this ram is, I mean, every ram is pretty much a processor. These are ram process. Well, one about his mother, his, his, his, his ROM, every ram is pretty much a processor. These are ram processors. But one about his mother, his ROM, like how's his ROM doing? I mean, he hasn't seen her in 11 years.

Part of why he fights alongside me against the forces of evil is that his whole family was slaughtered and eaten. Which doesn't usually happen to ram's. It was pretty vindictive. It was actually pretty vindictive. You see, goat getting sheep certainly. But for a ram to see Marauders eat his family, just because they were pillaging.

They were pillaging. And go ahead and pillage your a Marauder. It's what you do, but don't eat Rams. That's a weird animal to eat. He broke free and he's been seeking vengeance ever since. He has every right to. Well, what's the beat of now? On, Ness can you can you um is stepping from the room? There he is

It's a pleasure to meet the make thine acquaintance onus. I am you Sado the Wizard. This is my friend Chant and my other friend Onnie Arnie don't be rude interview him oh Gosh, I don't know like what is a good Ram question Yeah, we've already burned through a lot of rams. We burn through a lot. Oh, what else? Something torus apart. Oh, like is there like a ram ram is broad? Ramrod is rambo or like

Korners Oh, and it's let me ask you a question. I used to do a want to know what drives the to fight evil. Did you guys catch that or did you tell he's thinking about it? Yeah, no, I mean he already said it. Did you need me to? Oh, yeah, I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I could see I could see something behind the eyes, but I couldn't really yeah No, I got it totally So you had asked what drives the to fight evil to fight evil. Yes, his answer was I believe Coctord just told you my family was eating right right He's kind of pissed

Well, but you know sometimes you have a tragic event in your past. Yeah And that starts you on your hero's journey, and then over time, you know, it can't really sustain that forever. Sure. So you have to get to a place where perhaps you put those things behind you and you make peace with them and then something drives you forward. So I thought perhaps, you know, I thought perhaps Onus had put this petty revenge behind him. Yeah, let me ask him.

So, is that still much driving you? Or have you had any further motivations over the past eleven years? Did you guys get that? I-I-I-not-hops. They said, now at this point, he just sort of likes the taste of human blood. Ooh. Oh. Yeah.

That's a good motivator. And I don't disagree. Is that-is that something that you'll give him a few drops just to appease like everyone's Well, you'll cut your finger and let them have that We this is a very personal question Well, let's I'll reason that then let's let's move on. I mean, yes, we've done that It's part of our bonding. Of course, of course, but it's not weird If you knew Ranger, I mean it's on you guys that you have an interview to Ranger in 250 episodes, but it sounds weird.

It's not that weird. So it's pretty common blood-circulling as well. Yeah, there's a lot of rituals. There's a lot of rituals. Oh, Nish, what are some of your favorite rituals? Nope, nope. I know he's just... I'm not getting anything. To you guys guys it looks like he's just looking at you

But he said a lot yeah, he said he loves the moon ritual. He said he loves the harvest ritual He said he loves the rituals that occur every time a baby ram is born He said that one is one of the main ones that make him miss being part of a pack of rams There have been a few occasions over the years where we've been near other rams and he's been able to go and join them and live some Ram life before our next adventure starts. I think I'm not trying to put words in his mouth

as you heard, he didn't say this, but I think the birthing rituals have come to mean more to him and his old age as he sort of wonders if he does ever want to retire and have a family. So yeah, harvest rituals, birthing rituals, moon rituals are cool because you know we get blasted. He said all that with that look? Yeah, he's talking for a while. Honestly, why don't you ask him about the hour? I don't want to do what he likes me. Oh, ask Onus about the owl. Why am I always the one that has to ask the questions that make the guest mad?

Because the ram likes me. Oh, okay. I'll like a smooth talk this way. I'll be okay. So, Onus, I hear there's a new owl in your life. How do you feel about that? Did you guys about that? Did you guys catch that or did you need beta? No, I didn't.

No, I didn't. Just assume we always need an interpretation. If we ever do pick up what he's putting out, we'll absolutely speak up. Okay, I'll try to remember that, but sometimes I forget things like that. You seem, I will say you seem surprised every time that we go. I just sometimes forget. I just went so much. I spend more time talking to animals than humans So I forget that other humans can't so again, I will really so sincerely try to remember that but I do second nature to you

Yeah, I the second nature classic ranger joke nature Okay, you didn't catch what he said no, no, no, no, no, no. He said, fuck that mother fucking owl to death. Oh, wow. All right. Wow, he did not. I mean, to my untrained eye, he did not look any different than didn't look remotely pissed. Yeah. Maybe slightly horny, but yeah, I did not pick up on pissed.

Yeah, I mean, I'm a ranger. If humanity could just get back and touch with the subtle nuances and rhythms of nature and what she's trying to tell us at all times, we'd be in a lot better shape but I'm not gonna go on a big soapbox about that. But just trust me, that's what he said, I'm a ranger. Can we check in with the owl? Just to hear his side of things?

Yeah. And sorry, not to assume, was it a male owl? Is that what you said? It's a male owl. was it a male owl is that what you said it's a male owl it's a male owl okay yeah go ahead and put them in front of the ruin there hey hey buddy um what how's it going I love birds okay this is gonna be carcass or just reiterating I just want to make sure that your opening question is hey buddy how's it going I just want to make sure that's what you want to go with I mean I can adjust but if that how's it going? I just want to make sure that's what you want to go with.

I mean, I can adjust, but if that is that not... No, I mean, I'm happy to pass that one on, but I just want to make sure that that's the hard hitting. Should I make the talk smaller? No, let's go with that. I mean, if you can make the talk smaller somehow... Here, okay. Let me, let me, I'm going to shift gears a little bit. Let's see that.

Shift gears from the ramble. So let's say, how about this crazy weather? Did you guys get that? No. No. It's kind of the same as with the ram. Oh, I figured maybe some of you knew how well better than ram. That's my bet. That's my bet.

Oh, we knew. I forgot. I think, in all honesty, I think I picked up on it. You did? Oh, yeah. Did you want it? From what I could, bits and pieces here and there, from what I could discern from what he sort of hooded in his body language, he was trying to say that when you're in Owl, it's always cold.

Because the higher up you go, the colder it's gonna be. So he kinda said when you're in Owl, it's always cold. Is that right? Nailed it. Huh, got it in one. Oh, wow. He also said windy too. But I don't expect you to get everything So it been a little windy too also just so you guys know when the owl warms up to people he tends to get very

Flowery and talkative in his speech. So just brace yourselves for that. Oh Oh, and I think you just made a joke. Did you hear that? I? Did I'm so psyched you heard that joke? Did you want to reiterate that set up in punchline that the owl just threw down? I mean you brought it up. Yes of course. Well we could both say at the same time but let me go ahead and see it personally just because I'm thrilled that I picked up on it. He said also just so you know when you're an owl there's two types of weather. Cold and construction. It's an owl humor, I don't get it. I think well, Coctaw, are you translating with that joke me?

That joke speaks to itself. Well, I think what he's implying is that he's an animal and mankind or other kinds of creatures tend to build quickly. You see a village pop up overnight, you see a road that people might adventure on being re-re-pavved. So he's kind of saying that there's two from the Alps perspective, there's two seasons

which are construction and winter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so being built, it's too goggable. And you know, one thing that's really heartening for me to see, because again, I spend more time with animals than man. I'm really glad to see that both humans and owls agree the best types of jokes are jokes with the explanation needed

as longer than the joke itself. It helped me understand it, and then I thought it was hilarious. Yeah, yeah. Owls got chops and typing. And unrelated guys, I have to take a quick break. So I'm gonna be over here, I just have to go grab some food. So I may be here every once in a while, but just so you know, you're gonna be without my interpretation skills for just a minute. Oh, this is our opportunity on to ask the owl about the ram.

Oh, hey is our opportunity on it. Ask the owl about the ram. Oh, hey, ow. What's the deal with your buddy, the ram? Oh, dear, I forgot the guy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I forgot. He was the one who was really getting this. That's my pick. Oh, I'm back. Am I just in time for an explanation? Oh, you just missed one. Oh, shoot. Yeah, the owl said he goes, look, I got no problem with the rim. The rim's got a problem with me. That's on the rim.

I'm not someone who's hung up on conflict. I let that go. When I was a teenager, I used to be someone who really had a chip on my shoulder. I was an angry young owl. And I've been through a lot of therapy and I've practiced a lot of meditation techniques. This is in.

I've studied various religions to get through in a sense of inner peace. So this weird alpha battle that onus of the fallen ramfolk is intent on having. I'm not really personally buying into it. It doesn't get me anything. It doesn't get me any.

It all it makes me feel is tired. And I don't see how either of us wins. I'm above petty jealousies. I wish onus of the ramfolk could let some of his insecurities go because I like him. And it makes me a little sad he doesn't like me, but I understand that it's driven by his own personal insecurities and at the end of the day,

I don't really have much to do with it. I just fly and try to help when I can and I hunt field mice and I turn my head around on my shoulders further than you would think that It the answer goes on for a long while but like I said he's very talkative intense to get flowers So I can't just that's most of the gist of it. I think you see I'm happy to I'm happy to keep translating word for word But it will take a while. It's totally up to you Well, I'll come I ask you said these? You said you like Onus quite a bit.

Have you ever told Onus the things that you like about it? Well, this is correct. I will say some of that's on me because I can speak Ram and I can speak Owl. Owls can't speak Ram, Rams can't speak Owls. And Onus of the fallen, Ramfolk can understand human languages, but that never, even before the curse due to the whole God, did it conflict it, and never extended to owls.

Ram's understood in a few different animals, but not owls. And so even if the Ram and the owl wanted to talk to each other through you, there would be a lot of you being like, oh wait, did you need, oh, I'm sorry, did you need a lot of that? A lot of that, which I understand again, for a listener, I have to imagine, extraordinarily annoying, so I get it.

And at the same time too, you know, Onus, you can see a ram of not many words. The owl, I fancy himself like a avian Shakespeare, little bit of oil and water so to speak. Sure. Well, would it be, am I crazy? Should we try to bridge that gap here? Do we should we try to see if the owl would like to say something to Onus and then if Onus would like to say something in response? Maybe we should try translating to each other.

That's cool with me. Also, Arnie, have we ever told you about Shakespeare? Oh, well, oh no, I'm sorry. Is there a Shakespeare on the floor? There's a guy, there used to be an old man who would sit inside a tavern and he would order a beer and tell his tales and the older he got his his beer used to shake a little bit. So nobody really knew his name but he's quite sort of a a troubadour, a real real story, a real bard, yeah. And so people just call them Shakespeare, but many people claim he was several people. A lot of people

were like, there was many sort of traveling storytellers and we kind of, you know, lumped them into one guy, but that's never been proven. Is that like, sometimes when some people say exit, chased by a beer, I've never heard that expression. It doesn't even try to not ride. Yeah But he was a real raccantour real raccantour owl. Is there anything you would like to say to Onus and have carc tour Translate for you Did you I can I know you know I didn't I got it. I'll let you oh no, it's up to you No, we cannot just split it if you want. Oh, that's right, Chant.

You could talk for Owl and Carcdork could talk for Onus. Oh, yes. I mean, I do feel bad because Onus answers in one, two, three word answers and the Owl can really go. I really rather take on Onus. Sometimes for six to seven minutes straight. Yeah, I really didn't think this through. What was the question again? I heard the answer, but what was the question?

Is there anything you want to tell the RAM and I mean, bless you because Someone who understood the 20 to 25% word limit for I mean you would think that's a cut and dry simple answer, but I mean this guy can tell you that owl really is poetic Both, yeah, yes Well, let me let me struggle here with what I can so anything I want it that the owl wants to tell the ram Yes, so what I understood to be and again, I very very broken owl Languages would I pick up here? So what I understood is, yes, there's many a thing, many of the feather I want to get off my plume-age. Onus, I feel like, huh?

No, I'm saying that sounds right. Shit, now I forgot what he said. Thanks a lot, Arnie. You interrupted me and I lost my place. You only remembered the first four or five words? If you lost your place, I feel like I can just tell you is the very beginning of that triggers any. Thank you. I'm not fucking Dr. Memory over here, but thank you. Dr. Memory, that's a bad dude. Oh, I had to fight that guy once he handed me my ass.

Do you guys know Dr. Memory? I don't. Oh yes, I fought Dr. Memory many times, myself. I have to. Memory. What happened when you fought Dr. Memory? Yeah, myself. That's a memory. What happened when you fought Dr. Memory? Yeah, Chiama. Well, you start to fight him, and he memorizes all of your moves.

So he learns what you can do, and he learns to counter everything that you do. So you have to trick him with, um, I don't know, uh, perhaps like, uh, Oh, an animal sidekick. It helps. And I did not beat Dr. Memory, but Onus got me out of trouble on that one. He's also a medical doctor. I mean, you have to respect his intelligence. Yes, every time I make an appointment with him, I'm like, I have to battle him to the

death if I want him to look at my gall bladder or something. Oh, he did gall bladder? I thought he was an ENT. I think he's got multiple degrees. Oh, he's got such a good memory. Yeah, he's a man of letters. So they all just said it again. He said, I have a few feathers I wouldn't get out of my plumage towards you, Onus.

I feel like ever since I came on board, you've resented me, that you've had it in for me. Many of times when we're traveling together, you'll trip me, or if I land on your horns, you'll shoot me off or buck me off. I don't know what I did to you. I do know that we've obviously been on each other's throats ever since, but I feel like since we have a shared love in our owner and compatriot and companion,

and I feel like I've been disrespected time and again for being an owl, for not being able to speak with you, and that our compatriot here, our friend has to translate everything. Now, that's point one of ten. Point two is sometimes I see you eat my pellets. Now, when I get rid of a pellet, they're meant to be reabsorbed into the soil, or if nothing else, dissected by young villagers who might learn from what's inside my pellet. Whether that be some sort

of mole or a shrew, whatever it may be, they're for educational purposes or to fertilize the soil. But your gulp them down like they're candy, my man. Where do you guys hear the next date? Two. And the next eights all call less into one big problem, which it goes back to point one. You disrespect me.'m sorry. I have to interject here now I wanted to be fair-minded about this and give onus an opportunity to respond and and Get anything off of his horns that may be bothering him of course, but to trip an owl That just sucks how often is an owl walking around and then you decide to trip it

I think that is bad for them. I don't know. I think I'm on an honest side. This owl is so per-snickety about what people do with this shit. Get over it. Well, how would you feel somebody gobbled up your shit, Arnie? I don't know. If you're a shit-eater, and I mean this, I mean, let's just out there who have them be a shit-eater,

have at it. You know what I'm actually gonna retract. You're gonna regret that. It's a little bit more vomit, right? That's shit, a little bit more vomit. Anyway, what's the question for Onus? Onus, having heard that the owl really likes you, but would like to be respected by you

and be considered a member of this Ranger Party. How do you feel knowing that the owl has some respect for you and only wishes respect in return? He said, you do you. And that was it. Is that directed at me or the owl? I think the the owl makes more sense. Yeah, but you did ask him the question. He's being a little stendoffish. He's not enjoying this. Oh, I don't know. That expression has a three-way rhyme. I don't know if we're going to be able to resolve this today. And I'm not certain that this isn't just some bullshit that this range is projecting on these two animals who have... I know. I'm noted in this whole time.

Rams haven't been able to speak for centuries like before anyone could tell. How is that like, how do we not know people are just sort of like, oh, that ram, that's one that's been doing that. You're saying I'm making this all up when your friend's been actively translating an owl. He's so foolish.

Well before this ever came a bad, we would have had to been in co-hoots, I guess that proves it it was all true. I Feel like you guys are maybe buying into the stereotypes a lot of people say Rangers are all talk a lot of people say that we're not full on wars a lot of people say that we're insecure and are fighting ability So we pretend we can talk to animals that people say that if we were barbarians or marauders and we can actually fuck shit up We wouldn't need to just pretend a lot of times people say we don't fully commit to battles because we say that we're committed to the safety of our animals and therefore we shouldn't be on the front lines. I feel like these are a lot of stereotypes about Rangers

and I feel like you're buying into them right now and I'm definitely talking to this ram into this owl and again, for the badger Jacked Guy, we would have had somehow get together and be in cooots. Corktor, I absolutely don't believe any of those stereotypes I think Rangers are wonderful adventurers and a boon to any party that they join. I just think I'm staring at an owl and I'm staring at a ram and they don't seem particularly invested in what's going on.

So... Bullshit! Here's a simple task that we haven't tried yet. Could you ask the ram or the owl to do something? Oh, very good on you. Okay. Onus of the fallen ram form. And the owl.

My two companions. We've been through many battles. Onus more than the owl. Eleven years, where the first is just a couple months. That being said, please demonstrate to these doubters, these outs who question us in our bond by doing a trick we have often all done together. Stand as still as you can.

See, okay, we all did it. They did it. I know it was quick, but they stood very still. For us, like, and you said that so fast, like before they could move at... You asked me to make them do a thing, and then we all stood still, and I said, stay still. They were perfectly still. I remove any objection that I had before, I believe the completely.

Watch this, watch this. Owl. Flap around a little bit, and onus of the fallen ramfolk. Sort of, you know, Paul Yehc the ground is snort and spitter You see? Oh, they do it. Yes, you're very good at this. Thank you so much, yeah.

Okay, I have a test here. I just to show that I'm not in cohorts and this is all real. I'm going to talk to the owl because that's why I have a bond with here. And I'm going to say Mr. Owl, fill in the blank. Blank? What? Where? Why? When? Ooh.

There you go. Perfect, that was the right answer. Can't make that up. Well, I am a believer, and I would be happy to have you in my inquest. I can prove it again. Oh, okay. As we all know, there's many traveling parts,

occasionally even bands of bars that get together. One of them is obviously a very notorious band of bars in this realm who will often stay at taverns, destroy their tavern rooms. I mean, they put on these shows that are loud and proud, but they will mess up a tavern-oriented room every, and Owl, you know, that's the... Oooo!

You don't have to answer for him! I wasn't, he said that! I didn't say that! You said that! I just knelted along with him, because I knew he was going to say, because we have such a bot. I mean, you just heard, we've all heard of that band of Bards, the who. Yes, yeah. There's Keith of the Moon, there's Pete who is Townsend.

Who else? Roger the Pultree, John the Ent who could whistle. Who's a talking tree that could whistle. A very, very famous group of Bards. We get it, you like this band. So any other brainbusters, Arnie, Yusador, any other doubts going on? No, I am a convert. I believe 100% and I would be glad to have this Ranger join my team of fighters and lovers

determined to defeat the Dark Lord. Because I gotta also say a lot of other Rangers are gonna hear this and they're gonna be like 250 episodes before these guys have any of us on. And then they're offering up these plate out tropes that we don't really communicate with these animals. They were just kind of drag these animals around in the woods with us because we're anti-social people who are scared to commit fully to society.

It's not right, it's not right, fearless. If I can, if I can chime in here, I will say the animal thing, who knows what's going on there? Because again, I could kind of pick up on some stuff. But I have heard that, and I don't know if this is all Rangers, but I have heard a lot of Rangers will wander the land, they'll look for a battle in which the tides have just turned and then they'll run in, you know, swords of blazing and then be like, I help turn that tide. Now, I don't know if that's true, but I've heard that they don't

actually actually turn the tide. They just swoop in at the last minute to quim victory. It's a very popular misconception, but what a lot of people don't realize is that if a range is charging into a battle at the end, it's because he's been doing a lot of unseen work the whole time, laying on a track, making that run in at the end, it's because he's been doing a lot of unseen work the whole time, laying on a track, making that run in at the end possible. I believe you, but I have also heard this rumor that Chant mentioned, although I heard it as a saying, it said, Rangers like to ride that battle-tidal wave. Is that meant that? No more rhymes.

That one is like actively avoiding rhyming so one of the syllables kind of rhymes but it's like four syllables too early too right. You could still stop at the rhyme. I mean I dare you guys to say that to any of the most famous Rangers you would never you wouldn't have you would never say to Nolan Riann you would never say you would never say to Nolan Rianne, you would never say to the great Mark of Messier. Charles Norris, who often went by a shortened nickname, was a Ranger. And you mentioned Lang Track as a Ranger. I will say Noan Rianne laid a lot of track. He was sort of known as the Express and he would lay a lot of track and you don't stand on the track when the Express is coming through.

There's of course Rick. Oh the Ranger Rick. Yeah the Ranger Rick, he's. Oh yeah. I forgot about right here. The famous ones. Yeah the Rick Rick Smith. Ranger Smith has these bears. These bears are hilarious. He's got this one big bear who's like a little ham and then this other little bear that is sort of like the moral conscious. He keeps them ham and check and they kind of drive the ranger nuts and if you are trying to eat outside and you store your food in any sort of basket these bears they love their baskets and all rangers Smith he's got he's always blowing his top so Those are mad at these bears. You can't really keep his bears.

Check, even though he's a Ranger, but he loves the bears. And man, they're very funny times. That sounds wild. If you're listening, open invite to Ranger Rick. Well, that's Ranger Smith. That's Ranger Smith. Ranger Smith. Oh, Ranger Smith.

Yes. Who's Ranger Rick? Ranger Rick runs this fantastic magazine for kids. It's great. It's great. It's great. I'll also say we refuse to have on Ranger Danger. Oh, you can't have on Ranger Danger. No, don't do that.

He rolls with a bad crowd. Oh, he talks to his reptiles. And I got nothing against reptiles, but you don't only talk to reptiles. That's weird Ranger behavior. I heard he also rides a white horse with no windows. No windows. Yeah.

You know how horses sometimes have windows? If you build something on top of them? Yeah. Who doesn't know? Well, were you born yesterday and you've never seen a horse with windows? I feel like I've seen a fair number of horses since I've been here. Yeah. How many of them had windows?

Can't I? I haven't looked that closely at their sides. I dare you, count them. Well, there's none here right now. How do you expect to ventilate a horse, Arnie? Answer me that. You dumb fuck. How do you ventilate?

If it gets hot on a horse, how do you ventilate a horse? You dumb fuck. You don't even know. I don't even know. I don't even know. I know I just met the idiot. I know right to be this guy. Oh, the worst part in the album is the album

I feel like I can't stand for something I'm fucking fuck This dumb fuck this is what the else saying You fucking dumb ass dumb rams and owls And I feel like you're talking to a fucking dust I could understand the ram for a moment It's the first thing they've agreed about The owl and the ram agree that Ar. It's the first thing they've agreed about. The owl and the ram

agree that Arnie is a dumb fuck for not knowing how to ventilate a horse. They're hugging and hugging. Oh, this is wonderful. They've bonded over you. You dumb fuck. Wait, what's that? The owl? The owl. He finally picked a name. What is he did you hear that? What is it? What is it? His name is Arnie as a dumb fuck. I bet it sounds better in Howell. I'm sorry I'm crying, that's such a beautiful name and such a beautiful moment to behold. Yeah, it really does sound... It's lovely rolling off the beak.

It's a little harsh of the human tongue. Arnie as a dumb fuck. Oh, how a language. Oh my god, it's like the phrase, seller door. This took a real turn. This is a fate worse than death. He just looked at me and he said something more. He said, to us three, to the Badger with the Jack body,

to the wizard and to Arnie, if you ever need my assistance, just scream, Arnie is a dumb fuck and I'll be there. That's, thank you for that offer. That is such a good thing. Well jokes on him, because he's gonna accidentally be called into action a lot. Some weeks, you can practically hear that little explicit tag being slapped on the descriptive text next to the download icon, can't you?

Use it or the blue wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant the Badger Head on a jacked body was played by Adolfi. Carc tour the Ranger was played by special guest Chris Getherd. Such a gentle voice, right? Makes I reglass seem like he's shouting. Check out his podcast, Beautiful Anonymous, or go to planet skum.live to check out his live stream talk show and more. We won't share an elevator in the Watergate Hotel in Washington, D.C. Chris remarked on the interesting

wallpaper, I agreed, and then we said nothing. This has been another episode of Unremarkable Encounters. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacant, Matt Young and Abel Refyre, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. Ear will producer Kimi Lucas. This episode edited by Garrett Schultz. Special assistance by Ryan DeGeorgie. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBan. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. Remember, if you start your sentence with intention to rhyme, choose your words carefully

don't go out on a... limb. No, wait, when you make a mistake, there's no time to...a tone. Damn it. There's no need to rush. You can take your gingerbread house. Well now I'm just self-sabotaging. This is harder than I thought. You