Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 3, Ep 59 - Sleeping Prince (w/ Jason Mantzoukas)

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

Sweet Prince Vantis wakes up from a hundred year sleep. Then he freaks out.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungSweet Prince Vantis: Jason MantzoukasMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Sage G.C.Special Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Since his death in 2009, the world has struggled with how Michael Jackson should be remembered, as the King of Pop, or as a monster. The new podcast Think Twice, Michael Jackson, offers a fresh perspective on the art and the artist, his life, his work, and his legacy. Listen to Think Twice, Michael Jackson, wherever you get your podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, a brilliant scholarship student attending Bishop Gray Academy, the and Add Free on Wondering Plus. People of Earth If you're listening to this, congratulations, you made it through another

episode of The Daily, or Podsave America, or whatever serious podcast you force yourself to endure for that one half-remembered talking point to bring up when your sister's fiancé, the adjunct Yale professor, starts gatekeeping the family Zoom call. Sure, Mason, sure, you'll make it all the way to the altar. Why wouldn't you? Just maybe don't ask Kerry about the box of engagement ring she keeps on her highest bookshelf. Well, audience, where to begin?

Considering last week, the entire castle collapsed on our three main characters, definitively and totally killing them, all that's left is to maybe circle back with flour for some final thoughts before we wrap up this entire misguided... oh wait. That's next week's recap. So uh, let's check in at Castle Skullmaster to see, um, what mischief our heroes get wrapped

up in this week. Sound good? Great. Sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from Castle Skullmaster! A weekly podcast from the Magical Land of Foon. I'm your host Arnie Neekamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know.

Over five years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift, and I use that to upload a podcast, chronicling our quest to defeat the Dark Lord, which is currently in a phase where I am house sitting. Villain, I've never met named Skullmaster,

but we're using it as an opportunity to get details on his evil doings. I am joined, as always, by my co-conspirator. He's wearing adorable corduroy shorts. Jump the talking banjo. Shunt, please. Nice. These shorts, I feel like I've put on weights.

These shorts are a little tight. Hot. They're hot. I mean that in more than one way. Can you see the outline of my dong? And now in in food, what is a dong? A dong is a dick. Ooh, nice growing.

You see it's DONG, it's a. Yeah, yeah, same. Thanks for dick. Oh, nice growing. Okay, fair enough. Speaking of dongs, I am also joined by my other co-host, Usador the Wizard. I am Usador, Wizard of the 12th realm of a fesiest master of light and shadow, manipulator of magical lights, devour of chaos, champion of the great halls of Trockus,

the elves no me is fying yalak, the dwarves no me is zoning in hook stingies, and I am known in the north east as gasmaniace mace stah-ah, and then maybe other secret names, names of such great power, that if air they were uttered aloud, most assuredly, you would lose all of your money. Huh, yeah. For it, this is a financial one. Yeah. It literally clears out any bank account you have, or any gold stuffed away into a vault, and little pixies will come and cut out the bottom of your pockets and all your money

will fall to the ground. Ooh, speaking of gold and money, guys, look what I found. I found all these treasure and I found a bunch of hard candy. I've been searching all the nooks and grannies in this place. Nooks and grannies? Yeah, and all the nooks I found some treasure. I got some diamonds here, some gems, some gold coins. And when I searched the grannies, I found all this hard candy.

And a check for five gold coins. Oh, that's so nice. A check for five gold coins. And when I searched the grannies, I found all this hard candy. And a check for five gold coins. Oh, that's so nice. Check for five gold coins. Yeah, I found so many rooms in this place. So I kept searching for someone's birthday, probably. Most likely. It says, four Thomas, who's been a good little boy. I've been searching a whole place. I found some new rooms.

I found another butt room. I found a room where the- Which is a ton of butt rooms. I think they're finding me already, honestly. I found another butt room. I found a room where the- I'm talking butt rooms. I think they're finding me, aren't you honestly? I think they find me. I found a room where the ceiling's on the floor and the floor's on the ceiling. I found a salarium.

I found a lunarium. I found a vomitarium. I found a barfatorium. I found all kinds of rooms. Can I say, it seems like you went through those rooms at a speed that seems like you don't want to follow up questions But is it alright?

Okay, I'll take three questions. Okay, this is probably why only three You said you are gonna squander my room question. That's just the headspace. I mean am I going to squander these questions? Chuck. No, oh well if you're sure I'm not going to then I guess I'll stop should I stop? That's rhetorical that's rhetorical doesn't count rhetorical doesn't count when you're sure I'm not going to, then I'll guess I'll stop. Should I stop? That's rhetorical. That's rhetorical. Doesn't count. Rhetorical doesn't count. When you're in the room where the ceiling is a floor and the floor is the ceiling, like how does that manifest itself? Well, there's no furniture in the room or doors or anything, so I think it's just like when you walked in. When I walked in, I fell up. Oh, okay, all right.

So that was something. Yeah, this is some sort of magic. And I found this boarded off bedroom. I didn't, I'm getting shivers just thinking about it. I didn't have the ball stood to tear down the wood to go in there, but there's something back there. I bought it a bedroom, yeah. Why would someone board up a bedroom?

Be there, someone there trapped inside that good great wizard Yusodora must save? Show me this door, Chantanai, shall break all manner of encumberment that has caused this door to turn to main shut. It could also be that like their sex life died. Oh, yeah. I was gonna say maybe it's just sort of like an old woman

who was left on her wedding day and just boarded herself in that room and stopped all the clocks and is still in a decaying wedding dress. Huh, that's a hyper-specific thought. Does that sound like someone you know? No, isn't everyone's first thought? No. But I'll have none of this. I'll have none of this sham. No, I shall go forth and I shall protect this one who is hidden there. I shall have some sham. No, not have a sham.

Look, you're going to miss the have a sham. No, I must be the great hero. I was meant to be otherwise. The year 48-242 has just been a total waste. We're stuck in this castle. We are stuck in this chattering. We're just wasting our time. Waste, waste, waste, waste, waste.

It feels like 48-242, it's just been a total garbage year, garbage year. I'm going to do one good thing this year. What is it about 48-242? It's just sort of like, get me to 48-243. You know why Ronald III, there were a lot of plays about 48-242. Oh, really? And about how it's going to be a terrible year, and then it turned out kind of a terrible year, but for totally different reasons. But you go back to watch those plays and now they seem weird, they pressure it?

Yeah. But a little toned up for the show. I am going to save this person trapped in this bedroom. Well, here I'll lead the way. Okay, follow me. Okay, you gotta go. Alright, so it's kind of hidden. We'll go up these 10 stairs. Okay. Okay, one. Okay, you gotta go. Alright, so it's kind of hidden. We'll go up these ten stairs. Okay. Okay. One, two, three. We don't need to be. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten stairs. Exactly right, Chuck. Okay, but you were taking stairs ten at a time, so why don't you come back down? Wow. Arnie, too. He was flipping around like a circus strong, even though.

Okay. Now we go, okay, we turn left at the piss closet. Wait, guys. Four. Five. Arnie, come on. Guys, I'm not as athletic as either of you. I lost count.

I'm going to cast a cloud under Arnie so he can float wherever he wants. Is that all right with everyone? Oh, please. As long as he doesn't throw he wants. Is that alright with everyone? Oh please. As long as he doesn't throw down spike turtle shells again. Alright, Baza-Dung! Wee! I'm sorry, that was the wrong one. Baza-Dung!

What was I right? Oh shit. Alright, so we take it right at the piss closet. We don't pass the APRE, watch out for the bees. Okay, we gotta say hi to this grandma. Hello, how are you? Hello, grandmother. Hello, I am so.

Okay, have you noticed that she's wearing a decaying wedding gown? Arnie, all grandmas are wearing decaying wedding gowns. They're stuck in the past, my man. Okay, oh, here we go, right in here, duck under, and there it is. That supported up room. I shall cast a magical fireball to break down this door. What?

You can use fire? Why? You can get your room on fire. Okay fine, I'll use, uh, what should I use then? How about a big gust of wind? Uh, no, no one cares? Alright, fuck, I'm doing new wind then. Uh.

Etterah! Coo-ha! I'll etchah! Fireball boards are freaking, freaking pretty hard. Okay, let me just take this hammer and... Yeah! Yeah! There we go.

Oh yeah, we just could have used, I just, we, yeah, we just could have used a hammer. It was holding on by three nails, that's it. Okay. Oh, you blew up all this dust though. Oh, this room. It was still my idea. Whoa!

Look at this bed! Oh! There's a,'s so many in it. His eyes are open about this awkward. But he's snoring. Oh wait maybe it looks like he has made oh wait he has coins over his eyes with eyes painted on the coins. Oh he, he must be dead then. But I... I'll be definitely here the breeding. No one ain't here. This could be rats nesting inside his hands.

He's waking up. Friend. Friend. Who are you? You have a skull master! Where is skull master here? Calm down, so I am Yusodor, the great blue wizard, and I have come here to save the... And you serve skull masters so you will taste my blade! Oh no, no, no! No, I...

Fine, I'll taste it here. Huh? Ah, does it taste of blood? I don't care for it. You don't care for it? I don't want to. Ah, ah, ah, does it taste of blood? I don't care for it. You don't care for it? I don't want to taste your blade again, no. But I will say this, I do have forged that blade

and it be delicious. Well, may I have to try it? Yeah, let me try it again then. Let me try it again. Seconds, have you? Juicin' or don't bogart that blade. Let me give it, let me try it. Anyone else? Anyone else fancy tasting the blade? Have you? Juicid or don't bogart that blade, let me give it, let me try. Yeah, if anyone else.

Anyone else fancy tasting the blade? I don't know, I haven't tasted a lot of blades, but it's a taste better than I would have expected. I mean, I'll lick it. You animal, taste the blade. I'm fine, yes sir, thank you sir. Man, I have some more. No, man, I have some some more.

Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Hey, that's crazy. I'm Arnie. I do not serve Skull Master, except I guess I am house sitting for him. House sitting. Ah, yes, but the house sitting be a ruse. For when he arrives, I shall wait for him under the stairs,

and I shall murder Skull Master. No, I shall murder Skull Master. That is why I'm here. Oh. I came here upon the year 48-142 to kill Skullmaster. I am Carnvantus Prince of the Red Desert. Carnvantus? It's a pleasure to meet you.

You know of me? Yes, of course. I've heard that legends for the past 100 years, but I have some sad news for you, you disappeared. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock. For 100 years, you I have some sad news for you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock. For 100 years, you have known my name. Yay, for I have lived for over 300 years, and for about a third of my life,

have I heard the tales of Conventus. Where here is it? 28,242, of course. Prove it, produce a newspaper. Aras, turn off. Oh, thank you, Steve. That interesting. I mean, you could magically produce a newspaper that would say any date. Really? Yes! Yes! This man speaks the truth. This could be but an illusion.

Go to the master show yourself! He's not here right now. Again, we're sort of house sitting. We also thought to throw a house party if that might be fun. Okay, I'm listening. My do like a fun dance, like I step back and you step back and then we step forward and kick our feet together. That's kind of fun. Okay, if two of us do it in front and two of us do it in back,

we can switch places in the midst of the song that's confusing and impressing the audience. Ooh, hell yeah, this guy rules. I love that. I have to be honest with you, sir. You just never mentioned hearing stories about you. I, myself, as a child, heard tale of you at bedtime. My dad used to read me stories about you,

although he pronounced it Prince of the Red Desert. Oh, no, it is Prince of the Red Desert. And he said that you were lost 100 years ago. I guess that is true. Now that I have awoken from a slumber, I've realized it is perhaps lasted 100 years. I came to this castle to defeat Skullmaster and retrieve my betrothed. Did you always have that huge beard and bedsauce?

The beard yes, these sores you now point to are new. Although I am no stranger to sores, these are not the ones that I have previously had. Usually like desert sores, they're probably different. Yes, desert sores are the worst because the sand gets in there. The blood red sand of the red desert. Where does the sand begin in the soar end? Well, it begins right at the beginning of the red desert actually. Oh, huh.

That is, I can answer that question, Wizard. Oh, it begins right at the beginning of the red desert actually. Oh, huh. That is a I can answer that question wizard Oh, well then you you follow from the mountain south and once the desert begins you will see its red sand Look, I know where the red desert is all right really you don't have to tell me where the red desert is is that true Yes, I've been all over this land. I know you just go South was it west from the mountains? This man is a fool This man is a fool wizards never trust him how dare never did never have never will Well, you should trust me now friend for only I know the perfect spot under the stairs to wait for school master.

Oh, don't you worry, I know every nook and granny of this castle. Nothing to grant. This expression is more common than I realized. What do you call a grandma? A grand-grand? Ananna! Hmm? Fuck me. Well, look, you know, if you are looking high and low, what are you going to find?

But little nooks little places where grannies like to prepare little meals for you nooks and grannies It's as natural as it could be. How else would one find hard candies? You must first seek out the grannies. Yes, so Prince Vantis, I know this is a lot to throw at you Just as you have awoken up and I'm sorry. Thank you for referring to me as Prince Vantis is not, and not Karn. Karn, although I could. Don't call me Karn, we are not friends. If they're enough, although you know what,

if that day ever comes, I would happily call you Karn. If it comes, I will tell you what. Okay, so Prince Vantis, I should let you know, we are recording this for a podcast. I feel like just ethically, I should let you know that. What is this podcast? Oh, it's just like a magical recording that is being sent to another world.

Okay. Imagine a bird that you could make weight for you and you could listen to that bird at any time. But you probably- Does the bird tell me a story? It does tell you a story, but you'll probably just collect a bunch of birds and then just delete a bunch of them. Now let me ask you this. In the midst of the you a story, but you'll probably just collect a bunch of birds and then just delete a bunch of them

Now let me ask you this in the midst of the bird's story. Does he try and sell me anything? All sorts of shit pants stamps anything else Birds Subturd of box with food in it Mm-hmm. Oh, you know if it's a slow time of year, maybe a lot of advertisements for other birds Let me guess some sort of mattress. A sock subscription service.

Oh, socks are the worst. Well, we're the best, depending on this week. I hate those birds and their stories. They build up bird after bird story after story. I don't have time to listen to all these bird stories. Well, you know, before I was trapped here in Castle Skullmasser, I'd often ride upon my friend the horse lord Grimhooth, the fifth fastest horse in food, and while I was traveling on his back, I would often listen to stories while I was going from town to town, looking

from magical artifacts to help me defeat the Dark Lord. I understand that, of course, if I've got a long trip, don't worry about it. I'm going to stock up on birds in their stories. Oh yeah, it's a perfect time to catch up on your birds. But then, in the midst of listening, I lose interest. It becomes too much of the same story, too much of the same voices, you know? I'll tell you this, these birds, they're not my friends.

I think the birds and their stories are my friends because I'm part of their story, I think. But I'm not, I'm just passively hearing the story. And then these birds, they do or say something that I think is wrong. So I find it, I need to get in touch with this bird. I need to tell this bird. They're telling the story wrong I like it better when you tell the story this way. You know what I don't like I don't like when I can hear other people listening to this bird story

I prefer the bird stories in studio not the live bird stories Because then I feel like the bird is trying too hard and reaching for jokes too much Well birds are very intimate medium. It is. I prefer my birds to tell a quiet story while I'm doing laundry. Ooh, do you like ASL Marobbins? You know, they get their beak wet

and then you just kind of put them in the yard. No, no, no, I'm aware of it. I'm aware of it. I don't like wet beak sounds. So I don't care for it, no. I don't like the sounds of a wet beak. So you avoid NPR, which Arnie I should explain. NPR is, no, please robins,

buch, the B is silent. I see, so you have to do a lot of gestures for that acronym to make this. Yeah, it's a lot of gesticulations. Because you're doing a lot of thumbs down. But I felt like you kind of need that for the acronym to work. I always talk with my hands. Aren't you so skinny, you should eat.

That's not true. Your majesty, I must address the giant in the room. Where is this giant? I will fell him with one swing of my blade. This giant being not literal. I mean the giant of the tale that I heard of the- Oh, please get here. ...but how did it come here to free thine betrothed and then disappear some century ago?

Yes? What, how can I- how can I- how can I answer any questions you have? Eh, everyone has been wondering what air did become of the- I- off they was heard that you did leave from velshmir and head out to find thine sweet love. I searched all over the world. I felt that for sure she'd been kidnapped by the evil king of velshmir.

I traveled to his lands to not find her. My beautiful, my beloved, my betrothed, Karen McManus. Oh, yes. The sweet mystical Karen McManus. Yes, just the name alone just makes my heart swell. Karnan Karen, I searched high and low and then they said, Skull Master is what I heard on the wind. Skull Master has taken her. Well, you know a lot of your fans liked to mash up your names and call you Karnan. Wait, you're telling me we have fans?

Oh, yeah, did wonder about it. Many plays have been written about it. Really? Yes, people have imagined what may have happened to you and come up with all manner of stories. Tell me, tell me some of these stories. I'm still curious. I saw one, a local production in town.

So, you know, it was kind of bad. It was just like a community play put on by the local peasants. But it was called praying Vantus. It was about how you, famed taking up the cloth to infiltrate different kingdoms to try and search for your beloved Karen. I did, I did do this. This is how I arrived in Velschmere

under the cloak of a holy man. Little did they know that my swords and daggers lay beneath this large cloak. Damn. I found the people I needed to find. I felled them and they told me the name Skullmaster and I traveled to this land. By boat, by sea. Sorry, River. I have a question. What's the difference between b and bc? And also, I guess I have three questions. You failed them and then they told you so that they speak when they were dead. Or I get answers from ghosts, badger.

I get answers from ghosts. Here's what I know. Men lie. Their ghosts tell the truth. Ooh, ooh, I'm gonna get that as a tattoo. Or, Arnie, can we make that a shirt? That sounds like a shirt. That sounds like a shirt?

One, everything gives you. Men lie, comma ghosts tell the truth. Well, I could take or leave a comment, but yeah, I'm on board. Men lie, semicolon, ghosts, but ghosts tell the truth. But for ghosts, tell the truth. And it's the letter, it's the numeral four. Ooh.

What if it was men lie, parentheses, semi-charmed kind of life, ghosts tell the truth, and it's the letter, it's the numeral four. Ooh. What if it was Menly, parentheses, semi-charmed kind of life, ghost tell the truth. Hashtag, Menly. I don't know what it is, but I, it sounds right. Ghosts tell the truth. Sweet Prince, Fantas. May I ask you to tell us a little? As PV.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear. That'll clear up. Oh, no, it won't. It's one of the sores that you can't get rid of. Ooh. Could you tell us a little bit about Karen? Ooh, yeah. Oh, Karen McManus. I laid my eyes upon her once in an oasis. The red desert is full of oasis, you know?

Sure. You can ride from oasis to oasis, or you can just think yourself there. But the oasis they broke up, right? You don't find any in the desert anymore? People still want the oasis to come back together, but they are physical manifestations of brothers who cannot get along.

One, a golden voiced arrogant god. One, a war-believe-voiced guitar virtuoso. They hate each other. Together, they were the second coming of the Beatles, according to them. But to me, they are not that impressive. I did offer to go to the desert and cast a Wonder Wall but tweaks them

that would allow them to be near one another, but they declined. So there I was. In the Oasis, drinking a champagne, it felt like a supernova. It was exploding in my mouth this champagne. I dipped my cup in the river in the Oasis and out of it came a bubbly liquid. I looked across the champagne river and saw a beauty that I had never seen before. A beautiful woman. What's that Karen? What's that Karen?

No. Oh, it was Karen's friend. Clot, I asked. Brittany. Gag, I got good. I said, hey, hey you! What are you doing here? Because this was supposed to be my time away.

I was supposed to be alone in this awayasis. I didn't want this woman here. I said, woman, get out of here! And what did Brittany do? Brittany said to me, Oh, Prince Vantus, sweet Prince Vantus, eighth SPV! I did not mean to intrude upon you, I am but looking for my lost friend Karen McManus. And thus, a quest was born. Oh, wow.

We did find Karen. Oh, you did. I did find love. Brittany was killed by this blade right here. Guh. Oh, fuck. Tell us that story. Oh, okay.

This is a good one. I should ask, do you need like water or like to use a bathroom or something? Am I talking too much? No, you just woke up. When I wake up, it takes me a long time before I can get into all this stuff. Like I'm very I'm just true. I have been asleep for a hundred years. My mouth is dry and Yeah, I do have to go to the bathroom. I wonder how that's been functioning for a hundred years. Oh your bed is full of piss and shit. Oh Now that I look, it is indeed. So much, so much piss and shit. Hmm, should we take a quick break and allow SPV

to use the chamber pot? I might need to wash off, and we should probably leave this room. It smells now a foul that I had not noticed before. Yeah, I wanted to be polite, but it's bad. It's nasty. It smells terrible. I mean, I might ask, wanted to be polite, but it's bad. It's nasty. It smells terrible I mean I might ask what did I eat but I barely remember like what is all this like shit coming from This bones this bones in here

It was I eating things with bones partially digested berries it looks like a bear has been shitting in this bed Has anyone seen the bear that has been shitting in my bed? I have committed myself to finding the bear responsible for shitting in sweet prince vantus' bed. Oh, Wizard, I was just kidding. I asked his name. No, I'm going to find it. I'm up.

I survived the bear. I've got to establish a hierarchy of mysteries. Like, we can't just, like, immediately go ahead. So many parallel questions. And I think it's like a rhetorical phrase. Like, does a bear shitting this bed? Like, it's just sort like a rhetorical phrase. Like does a bear shit in this bed? Like it's just sort of a rhetorical phrase, right? I think now we know the answer to it though.

Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the wrath of using all of that. Where are you flying to bear so fast? Oh, there are bears all over this castle if I remember correctly. Well, we'll take a break, you can get cleaned up and we'll be right back with more sweet, Prittance, Bantus.

Bantus. Bantus. What did I say Prittance, Bantus. Bantus. Bantus. What did I say? Did you say Bantus? I think the smell is making my lips curl. And they say that you swallowed seven snakes before you set off upon the ocean. Is that true? What?

They say you swallowed seven snakes before you went off to find Karen Nick Manus. That is the story you heard of my quest, of course not. Who would swallow seven snakes? Well I always thought that it was some sort of metaphor about Days of the week or something because it was seven. I thought the seven was important a metaphor for days of the week Maybe like giving a blowjob every day of the week. Oh, I did do that. I did do that Oh, maybe that's how I got my ships my pirate ships that I could leave the red desert undetected, because my father would not be happy that I was chasing Karen McMannath because she was but a common woman.

He had ideas of his own. He was trying to marry me off to a princess in Velschmier, and I did not like her. She was not cool. She was very rude to me when we met. And she was a barf. So, is she the princess that always wore that pork pie hat? Oh yes, pork pie hat. I was like, I don't like this pork pie hat because I'm not partial to pork nor pie. Has she been wearing a lamb's cake hat? I would have been totally in love. Two things I love, lambs and cake.

Don't give me pork and pie and make it a hat and ask me to marry you. No, thank you. Is what I said to that princess of Velchmere. It seems like you really dodged a dagger with that one because we've been to Velchmere. I did not dodge the dagger. I was in fact stabbed.

Oh, in the mouth. I was stabbed in the mouth. Yes. Sonny through, the mouth. I was stabbed in the mouth. Yes. Sonny through through through. Yes, stabbed in the mouth with a penis. Seven times for seven ships. For seven brides. For seven brothers.

Oklahoma. What? That was just an expression. Now, Olli, have you ever heard of the tale of a sweet prince conventus of the Red Desert? Perhaps you've heard a song? Perhaps there have been songs? I did hear the richer carn about how you used all of those coins to do some home improvements, but that's kind of the extent of what I've heard about you.

You see, Your Majesty, Arnold is not from our world. I'm from another world. Oh, I understand, I understand. I'm from another world. Oh, I understand. I understand. I know of other world. I've seen, I've looked through the glass and seen the other worlds. I've seen, I've looked through a magician stone,

which is cauldron. I've seen the other worlds. I know of your TV shows. Oh, the having favorites. I know of your TV shows. Oh. Do you have any favorites? I know of your man with a plan. Oh, no. That's what's made it to another world. Yes, of course.

I've seen it. I know it. Every episode. Did a different world make it to another world? No, I don't know of this different world. I know of other worlds. Aren't you telling us about a different world? Can you explain it to us world? No, I don't know of this different world. I know of other worlds. Arnie, you're telling us about a different world. Can you explain it to us?

Um, whole boy. You know what? I feel like I would have to talk about it's, uh, when it comes from. How did it start? Explain that. I can't imagine that's fraught with any, any difficulty to explain.

Let's tease this out. This is the show where that should happen. Yeah. I don't want to talk about Earth stuff. I don't think earth people want to talk about that earth stuff Nobody on earth wants to talk about any earth stuff earth stuff the worst stuff. That's a t-shirt Look, we're gonna have to trick a lot more people into thinking where their friends if we're gonna sell all these shirts Oh Gotta get that merch. Oh

Oh, gotta get that merch! Oh, your majesty, things have changed so much in the last 100 years. Is Go Master dead? Uh, well, no, that's no, he's dead. Is the Dark Lord dead? Uh, no, no, but I'm actively working on that. And, um, let's see, oh, but so many. Oh, the Dark Lord is actually taking over most of food, like, what? What? Yeah, I don't know what it was like a hundred years ago.

Most of food! Most of food and most of food. What? It's very hard to get food now. A lot of people are going hungry. Wait, you're telling me the dark lord controls all food and food? A lot of it, yes. And there are many people who are struggling and just trying to get by with what they can find.

They've found food. But when I came here, food was a place of abundance. Everybody, all the grain fields were thriving, and the animals were ready for slaughter. Everybody went to bed with a full stomach. What are you telling me? If you're a Foonie foodie, you're fucked.

Oh, I am a Foonie foodie all way. I follow Johan Gold's list of 100 best Funi and food restaurants to try. The real stuff. You know, not the fancy places, but the real stuff. Johan Gold, is he still writing his great reviews? But a Yo-han Gold died. Oh no, RIP, Yo-han Gold? Yeah, but- One of the greats. One of the greats. Pinnacle chefs did an episode about him. Oh, Pinnacle chefs?

Yeah, they did it like an honorific episode to- Oh, isn't that nice? Just one? You could dedicate a whole series to him. Just the one. And his list, he was one of the best. Yeah. I miss him dearly. He passed, and then the fields of grain

were eaten by the animals for slaughter. The animals for slaughter were eaten by the locust and the locust caused such a great hurricane that it blew away the red desert. What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? What did you say? It blew away the red desert.

Yeah, your home is no more. I think for now. The your home is no more, I think for now. The red desert is no more. I want to say for like 99, 99 years or so it's been gone. Ugh. What? But one year after I left, the red, the entirety of the red desert, the dooms of Dunia? Yeah, yeah.

Just rock and shale there now. They put up a nice memorial red sandbox to commemorate it, but all the sand that they could muster, just that it only fills one box. A little sandbox. Every grain of that sand was red from the blood of my ancestors. We bled into that sand and it turned red.

And you're telling me it's all gone, so I'm now cut off from all of my ancestral heritage. Yeah, but if it's any consolation, it would have happened a year later anyway, it sounds like. Or not, had I been there with my true love Karen McMahon is by my side? We perhaps could have slain whatever wiped out

the red desert, whatever catastrophes these locusts you speak of. You think I can't fell locusts? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. What are locusts? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. A locust is a abbreviation for a local pest. Oh.

So it could be any manner of bugs. It could be bugs. I don't care for. Thief for a rogue. Anyone who's just like a local pest? Oh, rogues, I hate them. Always touching people and taking all their powers and keeping them for themselves.

And in love with Southern men? Oh, you know what I hate more than anything in the whole world? Men from New Orleans who throw cards? Not interested, man. Well, for a time, I don't know if you were asleep, but for a time that was very popular. Oh, it was invog when I was awake and I did not care for it.

When I was but a boy, this man was introduced and I thought to myself, Why? Why psychically charge cards and throw them at people? This is not a magic trick. This is boring. Arnold, have we ever told you about Nollins? No, Sherry. It's a town in the far south of Foon. It's a beautiful place with wonderful food, and Nollins is here.

A beautiful, and beautiful musical heritage as well. Oh, yes. What a wondrous place it is. And a lot of ghosts, a lot of ghosts as well. So many ghosts. Yes. But I agree. I didn't care for the tales of which we speak of the man with the psychically charged cards. And also like

what the hell is going on with their feet. And Prince, I do have to ask. Now that we're on this subject, I do have to ask. Sure. Because it's kind of a split decision. How do you feel about Jubilee's? Like if a Jubilee was thrown for you, how'd you feel about that? Oh, let me be very clear. If you were to throw a Jubilee for me, if you were to say Prince Carned Vantus, sweet Prince Vantus, SPV, here is a Jubilee and I looked upon a figure in a yellow coat with spiky hair.

I would say to myself this, and only this is a proper Jubilee. Now, if that Jubilee also be the undead who drinks of blood, I say to thee, Jubilee, no thank ye. Oh, so your majesty, I may have some news that may upset thee. Uh oh, thou dost surely know of the great blue beast that did Rome thine lands. Of course they do!

But after you disappear, he transformed into a... kind of a cat version of himself. What? Yeah, you just used to be a big hairy beast guy and then you got real cat lights on. He was a very smart man who could turn into this beast. Right. You know, a-something, something akin to a-to a doctor who comes up with a serum that at night turns him into an animal But his animal it denies his intellect and his intellect is apart from his animal

You're telling me they are fused as one yes, and then he wore like pants that just came up to his nipples for no reason Pants pants on the beast man. No, thank you. I say to thee, no thank you. Okay speaking I mean we done, we done. I'm talking about the beast again to a cat we done. Okay, but I did I did want to say Prince I did find something this is a room I found earlier and I didn't want to tell the other the other. I don't think we done. I don't think we done. I want more son. I want more son. Okay, everybody listen we all do. But Betty is not going to come back to it He's finished telling those stories. You're right. I'm sorry. I continue. I'm sorry chent I didn't mean to interrupt can I speak I'm the animal man. Okay, so I found this room. Okay, it's that's DC

Okay, so I found this room all right, and it's sort of I I don't know how to quite explain this But I think this room prints will help you in defeating a smell danger. It is a danger room. So this room will sort of create you a fictitious situation, okay? Okay. Feel real, and you can see how you might kill your foes. Great. So a certain scenario that you want to try out in this room. Let me, let's just walk down this hall. Okay. Take a left at the desposit. Say hello to this. Hey guys, I'm back.

What did I miss? Oh, we just been talking. We've just been hanging out, really. Yeah, it's tough. Don't worry about it. We can't catch you up on everything, Arnie. Like, we have to be able to have conversations of our own. Everything, we can't all foreshare everything all the time, we have to have individual relationships

with each other. That's right. That's right. And so we're like a power back, so. We are not, how, first of all, we are not children. Oh, okay. Neither are we those healthless that take flight. Because I am also not interested in their stories. Mm-hmm. We are but four friends who are fantastically hanging out together. But we are on side quests all the time. And also sometimes teaming up with our enemies. Yeah, and Arnie, if you leave the group

just cause you're an ex doesn't mean you factor into this. Okay, you're wreaking havoc, but we don't have to keep you up at every single conversation. Okay, so here we go. But I have a force. We were a force. Okay, until you climb those stairs, and you've been at a breath ever since.

Yeah, true. Cable. Okay, so you're acting like a Jamie Madrock? Already, do you know the story about the furious boulder known as Madrock? Well, when someone says Jamie Madrock, I can figure it out from context please. So you guys are gonna go in this room? Do we thought maybe this dangerous room would be a place where we could kill Skull Master?

Or we could wait under the stairs like I had suggested before. I just, you know, I think, I think I want to help your majesty. A cheer help would be be your help would be rewarded If you can help me find my beloved then I will bestow upon you. Yes each Oh wish You remember how you were asleep for a hundred years I do and you remember how all these tales came of like what happened to sweet joy

Yes epic poems. I assume epic poems songs. No, he limb ricks perhaps. All of those things, yes indeed. But the fate of Karen Manis is well known. It is? Yeah, she married Don. Who Don?

Don, what was his last name? Robertson? Don Robertson? Don Robertson? Right, yeah, yeah. Don Robertson? Don Robertson? Right, yeah, yeah. Don Robertson was my best friend. Oh, well then, one of us is lying. That's, uh, that's not what happened.

Wink, wink, guys. We don't want to upset him. That's what I always heard. Don Robertson married Karen McMahon. That's impossible. Oh, he's inspiring. She can't be. Karen Robinson.

Karen, that doesn't even sound right. Huh. Huh. Huh. You're mad. She can't be Karen Robinson Karen that doesn't even sound You're better be sure to betray because it was dawn dawn himself who came upon me and he said carne You must travel you must travel to Vilschmier the the Vilschmierians have captured your beloved and upon then finding her not there They sent me here. Are you telling me that dawn sent me on this folly sent me on this journey one of He's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's coming, he's Prince Menli. Oh, Men do lie. Yeah. So, except for Don Robinson. One of the truth tellers of our clan. Oh, fuck. A man sworn only to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth.

So help him goddesses? So help him goddesses. Can I ask sweetie, Prince? Like, what did you have to go on that things were gonna work out between you and Karen like a lock of her hair Huh, I had a lock of her hair which in the red desert is a problem. You even met her had I met her? Yeah We'd exchange glances. Can I just take a minute to To really process how romantic that is sigh lock of her hair is so beautiful, that's really touching.

Sorry. I have it here in my pocket. Oh, can I see it? Of course you can! Bold! Karen McMahon is his hair. Wow, it's so flax and so golden. It shimmers in the light.

Well, I suppose it's possible now. Let's eat it. What? Let's eat the hair. Let's all do it! Let's all eat a strand of the hair! Right? Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, it. What? Let's eat the hair. Let's all do it. Let's all eat a strand of the hair. Right? Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, buddy.

Yeah? Look at the hair. There's a little bit of scalp attached. Oh. I think he yanked this off of her. I think we should all eat the hair. And then we'll know what she was thinking, right? That makes sense to me.

Give me some of that hair. Whoa. I'm. I'm. Whoa. Um. Um. Mmm. Oh, you said Arna's pico. Mmm. Did I say that anywhere close to her?

Mmm. What were you trying to say? I don't know. Wait, are you all eating hair? Everyone just dived into this hair eating? Arnie! Arnie, please! Eat of the hair! No of Karen McMahon is his knowledge. Arnie, Arnie, please, eat of the hair. No of Karen McManus' knowledge. Arnie, I was scared not to, so I started to eat.

It's awful. I have fed the badger some of the hair. Also, how do you have this much hair? Oh, she had so much more. Why do you think I'm seeking her? Why do you think they called a lock? It's locked in, and he can take as much as he wants. Yes!

It's a lock of her hair, and I hold the key. Now, I believe I am beginning to get some images in my mind. From Karen McManus, and I believe that she truly loved the and settled for Don because you had been lost, and she knew when you had returned. Oh, that Don. Oh, Don, I knew it you had returned. Ugh, that darn. You think you can buy that? Oh, Don, I knew it. I knew he was betraying me. Ugh.

What has become of my Karen, do you know? Details tell of Karen's fate? Does she still live? Well, it was 100 years ago. Well, you are many hundreds of years old, and I am over 100 years old. I am a great and powerful wizard. Brought into this world by a conspiracy of deepening and rage and fire and drugs

that are meant to destroy everything that could destroy. You have to deepen your voice when you say that. It makes him feel like a big man. Also, we just fell down the stairs. I'm down at the bottom of the stairs. Oh, let's go down. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine, nine, here he is.

Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, Arnie, the hurting. Yeah, what is it, Chant? I think this guy went sleep crazy. I mean, clearly, also, what happened to Brittany? What happened? I think he killed Brittany? Those steps were absolutely managed, my lord.

Ah, thank you, Wizard. Haha, steps are no problem for me. I can go up them just as much as I can go down. I'm pretty great at stairs. Oh yeah? So am I. Care to stair battle? Yes.

I challenge thee to climb these stairs. One. One. Two. Two. Three. Four. Five. Yes, I challenge the to climb these stairs One one two two three four five This is seven eight already. This is our podcast nine. This is my podcast 10 10 how did this get me? How did our podcast get made already? That's a feature I think I figured it out, Chund. Yeah. I think he's still asleep.

Like, he's moving around. I mean, she's interacting with us. But it makes a little more sense if he is still asleep. Yeah, to be fair, those coins are still over his eyes. Unless his eyes is coins. You've bested me, Your Majesty. I hesitated at nine, and now you raised yourself. Put up a valiant fight. A valiant fight wizard. Thank you, I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I- I That's what I'd wish for. Hmm. The badgers...

asking an interesting question. Heh. I wish for... Yes. One more lock of Karen's hair. I'm starving. Heh. If that is your wish, then reach within line pocket.

Gaww! Yes! I have done it! Another lock of Karen Mc is this hair arm. Um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um I'm the color man and Arnie's just kind of saying the facts. Oh. Your friendship is impressive. You seem to have an understanding of each other and the show that's happening. And I appreciate that. You keeping it on track as best as you can.

Oh, thank you. When you don't know anything about the X-Men, there's only so much you can do, really. The what? Has either of you found a piss closet? Oh, I'm sorry, we never got you someplace to piss. No, I just have so much to piss out from my insides. Yeah, the piss closet's right down there to the end.

OK, I'll be right back to joy. OK, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about me while I was a dog. We would never. OK, thank you. I thought he was going to say watch. Guys, did you notice how he said he needs to piss from his insides? Nobody talks like that.

I think he's still asleep. You think he's still asleep? I think he's still asleep, too. Yeah, and I think he ate Karen McManus, and he kept her hair as a trophy. Oh, that would explain all the bones. I know. I was thinking the same thing. I didn't say it very fast. What are you guys talking about?

Fuck shit. Ha ha! I'm back! He pissed with the door open. What a freak! I'm pissed and it was nothing but bone dust came out. He's walking backwards while still pissing into the closet. I can't stop it. The bone dust is propelling me backwards. I join you now again and the staff still try to piss from my insides!

But its bone dust propelling me backwards! Classic bone dust. Classic bone dust. CBD! It cures everything! I feel kinda relaxed actually when he opens the door. Quick, quick! Are you achy at all? Put some of this CBD on your aches and pains!

I'll do it here. Much better, much better. Quick, quick! Are you achy at all? Put some of this CBD on your aches and pains! I'll do it here. Ah, much better, much better. You sir. You'll always do anything so eagerly. Oh, so willing to yes-and. What I'm a wizard, what's gonna happen? You gonna kill me? I doubt it. I would never kill a wizard. Good, you couldn't if you even if you tried.

I didn't say to kill me. No, try to kill me. Ha, ha, ha. I laugh at your blade That is true. This true the only way to kill a wizard is to drive him mad Oh, no, he knows the secret what wait all on don't worry I'm a step ahead of them you want to know my secret of course. You're already crazy. I'm already mad I'm liking you more wizard, I'm liking you more, Wizard. I'm liking you more. Well, should we go down into that dangerous room and kind of-

Absolutely. Practice, practice, I think. Unless you think there's a room in here with such a device as to be able to locate Skull Master, something that if I were to put it on my head could find any skull master or any dark lord in the universe? Um, what, uh, no. Okay, then we'll just go to the dangerous room. Guys, there's totally, there's totally that. What? Why?

There's a hat that if you put on, you can see all the villains in the whole land. Wait, but how does it look? It looks kind of cool. I bet in the books, it looks cool, but in the movies, it looks dumb. That's right, yeah, Arnie, when it's moving, it kind of cool. I bet in the books. It looks cool, but in the movies it looks dumb. That's right Yeah, Arnie when it's moving it kind of catches the light and you can kind of see the Sort of flaws and blemishes of it. So it's right in here

Wait badger you lie This room doesn't appear dangerous that appears a plain room. Oh well you do have to think up a scenario so You want to kill who do you want to kill do you want to kill who do you want to kill do you want to kill Don do you want to kill master show me Brittany. Now I see your attraction. Brittany. Hi. So we meet again Brittany. You will tell me what Karen McManus' or you will taste my blade. Will you leave Karen alone? What? Why? Did she tell you that? Yeah. Did she tell you to tell me that?

Yeah. She said... she said, she doesn't want you calling her anymore. She's not returned none of my messages. She doesn't want to talk to you, man. I've sent her a raven. I know you sent her a raven. I sent her a phoenix. I know you sent her a ph. I sent her a Phoenix. I know you sent her a Phoenix.

I received nothing back. Okay, so what does that mean to you? That means I shall send her one last thing, Britney. You're cold! Oh, oh my god, that was toxic. You're just stabbing Britney. Oh, that was not cool. And this isn't the first time he's killed her.

Oops, he did it again. She was in there with her arms folded just like a sense and all guarding over the room and you just killed her out of nowhere. She wasn't exactly like you. Oh, I killed her, I told her. I felt like she, well, huh. Now that's interesting, I didn't think of it that way.

I was really only thinking of it from my point of view. It was Brittany who was standing between Karen and I. No, she wasn't doing it, you're being a jag. And I know you think like, oh, jag, Nito, like you feel like that's fun. That's right. You're being insane. Judged, advocate, general. You're playing jag. I'm being a jag. A naval attorney. Can you stand during this stomach? I'm telling you guys, I think he's asleep. Yeah, since it's just a magical room, why don't we just bring Brittany back and try it again? Okay, room, show me, Jag!

Ah, courtroom. Your honor if it pleases the court. It does. I must argue that Karen be given to me as my bride, as my betrothed, as her life before it for my happiness. Not so fast. I'm Mark Harman, I think, and I'm near the store. You are not.

All right. Oh, the room. I think the room's confused. Well, that was wild. You are correct. You are correct that it's the Navy, but that is all you are right about. Right, in the corner, there's half a jaguar. I think the room is confused. They think that's a jag as well. A double jag?

As a naval judge, I cannot allow you to be granted a woman. Taste my blade! Ah! You're already married to the sea! Ah! This room it is, James, threw that from 100 yards away. That was insane. Uh, well, perhaps the dangerous room is proving a little tricky for us,

as it seems to be bringing up all manner of upsetting scenario for the species. It's true, it's true. Let me try one. Room, show me Karen McMahon is now. Oh. Oh. Huh. It's that old grandma in a decaying wedding gown.

It was handing out the hard candy. The one that was like a flight down. Are you telling me that my beloved Karen McManus is but some common granny? Yes, and she lives here in this castle now where she doesn't give out hard candies. She lives here in this castle Yes, then let us take to the halls and find her Wait guys, I don't think it's a good idea to let him anywhere near this point. Maybe we can trick him. Uh, room. Show us a hallway

Prince down here, okay guys Prince down here. Okay guys. Let's go. Hurry. Hurry fellows. Hurry. Quickly. Down the hallway.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Let's flip out the door. Let's flip out the door. And slide. Do you still have those nails and those boards from his previous room? Okay. We trapped him in the room. He is in there with usador I don't I think we just are trapped in a jag scenario that should keep him busy for a decade room turn Jagoff Okay, now now now they know that the room is not the hallway. Okay, now they're gonna be mad

You should work and you hear us through the door. Yeah What have you done? You got another buddy. You got another. Look if you don't get us out of here we've decided to eat each other's hair. What? Why why have you gone crazy? I'm always mad. Oh that's right. Well okay I guess that's your path you've chosen. Wow so we now live in here and you live out there, and all future episodes will represent that? Is this canon? I guess so. If you have the time, we've been trying to get rid of you,

so no, for a couple episodes in a row. Oh, so you're not adding me, you're getting rid of him, okay? Uh, room, room. Show, show, Prince Carnarn and Karen McMahon is slow dancing Got us a damage You son of a bitch Prince barn vented! Carnan barn?

You're near my woman's ink my blade! That's a t-shirt, Arnie, that's the t-shirt. You steal my woman, taste my blade. Another wizard? Prepare to taste my blade, Misa do'er. I have your back wizard! I have thine. Let us now destroy these doppelgangers. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

This is a T-shirt. Ten, eleven. Room, room. Initiate apocalypse. Ooh, the badger on the other side is a sinister mister. You've been listening to hello from the Magic Tavern, because you're still not ready to crack open that one this American life about why a box of doughnuts made someone cry

or whatever they have going on these days. Use it or the wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant the Talking Badger was played by Adolfie. Sweet Prince Ventus was played by special guest Jason Manceukus. Check out Jason's hilarious bad movie podcast, how did this get made? And also check out his animated series, Close Enough on HBO Max.

Just Max? Well, we all have to start somewhere. Every Bet Middler has their Greenwich Village bathhouse. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neekamp, Matt Young, and Adolfi. Post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. Eer will producer Kimi Lucas. This episode edited by Sage GC.

Checkout Sage's role-playing parody, yes, our editors can plug things. They're not robots, everybody. They're flesh and blood human beings with their own accomplishments. Anyway, checkout Sage's role-playing parody podcast, 20 Sided Stories, where a team of improvisers tackled familiar worlds like the world of Pokemon, or the Marvel Cinematic Universe and tried to tell a story, complete with immersive sound design, oh that'd be a nice change, a music score, and unsuspecting dice rolls. Since the editing is oftentimes the only good thing about this show, and Sage is often the one thing standing between you and 15 extra minutes of Adel working his way to a pun that would be quite at home on the last page of

Reader's Digest, you owe him. Check out 20 Sided Stories wherever you listen to podcasts, or at 20 that's 2-0 SidedStories.com. Special assistance provided by Ryan DeGeorgie, I mean I've got to make it fun for myself somehow. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. You know, I'm realizing so many fascinating people all around us who go unnoticed. After this, I'm gonna give Sage GC a phone call and find out what Elsie has going on.

I'll bet, well, maybe I'll email him. He's not so much in the small talk department. Still, then he might write back with one of his manifestos and good luck getting that genie back in the bottle. I'll just like one of his insta photos, though none of the ones where he's hiding his junk behind fresh vegetables, which is most of them. Maybe some people should remain a mystery. history.