Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 3, Ep 60 - Minotaurs (w/Brian Murphy and Caldwell Tanner)

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

Two down on their luck minotaurs lure us into their labyrinth. What will we find in the center?CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungBalgor the Unclean: Brian MurphyGalbor the Tidy: Caldwell TannerMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Tim JoyceSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Blueballers. No. People of Earth. There it is. I'd like to share a very special piece of correspondence with you. Dear New Onsen, compelling heart of the show. Fair. I wanted you to know how much your production means to me.

As long as I can remember, it's been just me and my house plants. And the arrival of each new episode is a bright spot on the horizon for us to me. As long as I can remember, it's been just me and my houseplants, and the arrival of each new episode is a bright spot on the horizon for us to anticipate. If there's any chance you could mention me, it would mean the world. You know, I've waited so long for an audience note I could celebrate and cherish, and I guess I'll just have to keep waiting. So rude when someone clearly sends you their first draft. Vague, pandering, tired horizon imagery, just nothing to latch onto. If you're listening, workshop your note for a few weeks before sending it in. And get rid of those houseplants, I think we're looking at over-oxygenation delirium. Although from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arne and he can't, Matt Youngin,

wait, have we played the transmission yet? That's where we are in the rundown. Shhh, wishful thinking strikes again. Sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from Castle Skull Master, a weekly podcast from the Magical Land of Foon. I'm your host, Arnie Neacamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. Over five years ago, I felt through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional rift.

And I used that to upload a podcast, chronicling our quest to defeat the Dark Lord, and a little more recently, our quest to ransack this mansion to find weird shit owned by the owner of this mansion Skullmaster. That was clear right? Anyway and I'm joined as always by my co-host Chant the Talking Badger. Get wit. How you doing buddy? I'm doing I'm doing good you know what I am who I don't want to say this. I'm a little peeved because I walked by the, I don't know if you saw the Hall of Mirrors. And I avoided it personally.

Not a big mirror guy. And as I walked by, I saw my reflection of me wearing those Coteroi shorts, and they were a bit tight on me. And I'm a little upset, no one's saying anything. I looked quite the fool. And I hope from now on that you will be my friend and be honest with me and if something looks bad

on me, you will tell me. I do, here's the thing. I definitely noted that they looked a little small but I thought that was a choice. And I don't really know like what is like good fashion on a badge or anyone for that matter. Okay, that's fair. You know, okay.

But if you want from now on, I promise, if I have any suspicion that something doesn't look good on you, I will tell you. Okay, and should I do you ask? Was it bad? Oh, Arnie, be honest, was it bad? No, no, your intro was great, but I was kind of tell it. Yeah, okay, yeah, let's do it, let's do that. Okay, I am joined as always by my buddy.

He's wearing a terrible hat right now. Chunk the talking badger. Get a biscuit. Fuck, my hat's terrible. Your hat is so bad. I don't even understand. Like, I think I're wearing it upside down. No, it says,

smallest dick ever and has an arrow pointing up. To the sky? Uh-huh. I say you're like, I want to wear this hat, but I don't want to be talking about my dick. I thought my humor could be just a little more random in ass and I, like I just want it to be like, you know, I feel like my humor sometimes makes too much sense.

And so I was trying something new. We've been getting a lot of comments on Apple Podcasts and exactly that. Good, giggle, giggle. Thank you for being honest. And I am also joined by my other co-host, his ad is also stupid, used to the wizard. I am used to the wizard of the twelfth room of a fesiest master of light and shadow, manipulate her of magical delights, devour her of chaos, champion of the great holes of Turokos, elves no me is fying alak, the dwarves no me is zoning in hook stungies,

and I am known in the north east as gas-wayneus me star, and there may be other secret names. Names that if I did air utter aloud, most assuredly, would transform dying very garments from rags to beautiful gowns to wear to a ball. Hmm, it's a fashion thing. Why don't you ever use that on yourself? Because I look fantastic already. I'm sporting this classic wizard look, which is really telling the world exactly what I want them to know.

Which is? I'm a wizard. Don't mess with me. I'll destroy you with my great magical powers. I, who is divinely appointed by birds and rain and wind and fire and the goddesses themselves to come here and destroy evil in all of its forms. Destroy them with your magic and power.

And also, that sweet-ass confidence. Thirst trap. Oh, sorry, I'm saying don't take another step forward. There That suite has confidence. Thirst trap. Oh, sorry, I'm saying don't take another step forward. There's a thirst trap. Oh, okay. Arnie, have you seen these around the house? If you step on them, you're suddenly parched and nothing you drink will quench it.

Oh, that's a good thing I barely move. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Not if I tongue, gonna bite my tongue. Although I will get up out of my chair for this. I just realized it's been weeks and we haven't checked in on DQ. Oh, isn't that what you said? That's the start to your favorite song

by Bear Naked Ladies. It's been weeks and we haven't checked in on DQ. I don't know what else to say. Hey, this joke will go on for decades. And Arnie, you said on Earth, Bear Naked Ladies is four men. Mm-hmm. I said bear naked ladies, they came out with a great cassette

called Gordon, and apparently they did some other stuff after that that I'm less familiar with. Huh, sounds like a fun stunt. Cutset? Yeah, when I was in middle school, I was like, never mind. But yeah, okay, it's a technology thing on Earth. It would blow your music. Oh, never mind. Never mind. Okay, it's a technology thing on Earth.

It would blow your mind. It's technology. I know you could really handle it. Well, we should check on DQ very quickly. Is that a sigh? Did you just sigh when I was talking about cassette tape technology? Little bit, yeah.

Okay, fair, thank you for that. Hey, DQ buddy, how you doing on there? Five more weeks. If I don't get food, I'll die. I am making progress. One of the bars is considerably more bent, but also the same can be said of my leg. You need anything? We can let you out if you like.

No, no, I do not want that. And it's something I do not want. I will get myself out. I am strong. I am capable. I can kick. Wow, what a proud elf. Yeah.

Well, sounds like he's good for at least a couple more weeks. Speaking of pride. I must share a sad tale with thee. Though, Chant, you say I did walk in here with great confidence. Sounds like he's good for at least a couple more weeks. Right up to the ring toss, where I thought most assuredly, I will be able to throw this ring upon to that bottle with no problem whatsoever. And then I did miss three times in a row. Actually, that's a good thing, because if you make it, if you make one ring onto the ring toss,

you get stuffed by a bear. A giant bear, yeah. Well, that way we did find out last week there are a lot of bears in here. Yeah, absolutely. Have you said you haven't been through the whole of mirrors? I have waited it. It's just not really my thing.

You sure you don't want to step right up to it? Nope. Hurry, hurry, everybody and now. We've had Dalai give a holla. Anybody else went in now? Anybody else went into the whole of mirrors? Aren't you sure? Nope, pretty sure. Pretty sure. Yeah Yeah, that's fine. Okay. Yeah, what about the tea cups? The titty cups? Well, I'm maybe I'm just I'm coming around the the tea cups

The titty cups I was like I know where the titty cups here. I got a hide my T. I said I said get out of here with your hilarious hats that are all say FBI. No longer shall I fall for this trick. No longer shall you place your hands up mine robes. As much as I want to know more about white chunson trouble with the titty cops, someone is trying to get our attention. Oh, what, yeah, what is it? Hey, you're here! Hey, how's it going? Hey, everybody. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Hey. Oh. What, yeah, what is it?

Hey. Hey, you're here. Hey, how's it going? Hey, everybody. Hey, you guys, hey, what's up? We got a couple of maze fans over here. Where, what are we all thinking about Mases, huh? Big time Mases.

I can see it worm and its way through their gray matter, which is in and of itself a big maze. They are thinking about mazes. They got labyrinths on the brain. Arnie, it's a quick term. How do you feel about corn? I think corn is pretty good. Doesn't necessarily always agree with me.

I mean, it's shit for eating, but if you turn it into a maze, oh yeah, that's good stuff right there. Know this labyrinth, Baja? There is no turn you can make. No deviation of the path that shall confuse you, Sador. I shall reach the end of that busy team road with no problem, what's so, eh?

Oh, we got a maze pro here. Yeah, yeah, well, you know, we, just in case, we do offer three hints. In case you need help. Yeah. But, you know what? We actually, our maze is in the basement down here. So, there's got a lot of noise around here. We miniatures, we like the dark.

We like the dank. So, if we could take you guys down there, I think you're really gonna like our maze It's just a quick stop pass the hall of mirrors and then two doors down from the piss closet and then you're right there What aren't I I think we I think we have I would usually avoid I shall take the apple nine challenge for there is no Challenge that you said or shot me. I shall uncover the secrets of thine maze and then the secrets hidden are there other secrets hidden within I see their secrets within oh I like secrets

Hey Belcourt tell them about the secrets Oh no or let me tell them about the secrets I can't actually tell them about the secrets because that it wouldn't be a secret. But there are both secrets. I don't want to be rude. My mother bless her heart, the beautiful, romantic word that she is.

She always told me to never enter a maze with a stranger. So do you two, I just heard your names. Do you two mind just telling us a little bit about yourself so I could better about entering this maze? Oh goodness, of course. Yeah, yeah. I am Balgor the unclean on your albore, the tidy. Okay, and you're both upside down horses, or I can't tell what's going on?

We are minotors. Oh, I'm a minotor, sorry. Here's a minotor, technically I'm a bisonator, which is a minotor, but you know, it mixed with a bison, which is why I'm a little more fluffy and furry and have kind of this like hunch to my stature. Less fat to like I'm kind of thicker, this is... No, I mean yeah, but that's all muscle in there. Already did you say that Earth in 1976 celebrated a bisonator?

Yeah, well that was the b sentinator, which was two hundred uh, minotors, I think. If I get that right. Oh, yes, the god of the by senators, the by sentinator. And one of you, I'm sorry, one of you is the unclean and one of you is the tidy. That's a bit of an odd couple. Yes, um, well, you know, galbore is always, you know, anytime there's bones in the labyrinth, like somebody gets caught in one of the trap and dies or something, he wants to go and kind of reconstruct it, put it all back together all nice, not going to just like that, you know, let bones be bones, throw bones all over the place.

This guy, he's always leaving bones around and I personally like to reform them into skeletons and make them do dances, or sometimes what I'll do is I'll put the skeleton on a stake. And if you step on the wrong tile, it'll fly out into your path. And then it's a job to wiggle a little bit in its teeth. I've said too much. I've said too much. Galbo, this sounds like a lot of fun, but I want you to be careful. For putting skeletons back together is one step on the dark path of Necromancy. Soon you'll want to raise them back to life for you and then you shall have to deal with the wrath of a wizard.

This guy always making jokes. He is so pumped for this maze. I love it. I love his shoes. He has for this maze. Always try to solve a puzzle or a riddle or bring something back to life. You can't not love it. So before we go on this maze,

and this is not me being lazy and trying to avoid getting up from my chair, how did you guys get into like maze work? Oh, that is a great question. Bougou, you want to take this one? Yeah, so right now we're on what we call a minotaur, mini-tour, where we're going around to various castles and whatnot and running pop-up mases.

But before that, we were running minotours, which we were humans at the time, and we would point to various fish as pasture by, walk by, and we would, you know, point to various fish as passured by, walked by and we were cursed by a very angry wizard who had wanted to see a real minotaur as he put it. Yeah, buddy, buddy, buddy. Can I just say angry wizard? That's a little redundant, right, Ysador? How dare you! I've never been angry. I wasn't single day in my life.

Saying, you know, Wizard is like saying corn maze. I mean, it's a little redundant. Anyway, I've always been curious about fish. Is there like one fun thing? Because I feel like I've been a fish in my past, but I've been so many creatures I can't remember. Well, it's like a fun fact about fish. Oh, here's kind of the thing.

As part of the reason the wizard got so pissed off is that we didn't know our fish facts. We were. We could see a minnow and we say, hey, there's a minnow. That's your minnow tour. Give us 10 gold or we'll kick your ass. When you go on a minnow tour, you expect to just sit right back and you'll hear a tale. A tale of a fateful trip about, you know, it's something like the long those lines. You want to know a lot of details. Yeah, and the rest, yes. We really started off on the wrong hoof on this tour

when we pointed at the minnows and said, all minnows are just baby fish. And the wizard was a little upset about that. And then he pointed at a bigger fish, like a catfish or a prim or something and said, are you sure that it looks like a totally different fish? Or like nah man, they just baby fish and then yeah, it just cursed us. So minos aren't baby fish? Wait a wait. Look, I could I could point out a minnow if there was a minnow here

But other than that, I don't know anything about minos. What about ponies? Oh, those are definitely just baby horses. I mean that's That is science and wall and facts. I don't know anything about minnows. What about ponies? Oh, those are definitely just baby horses. I mean, that is science and law and facts. I don't think that's right. I'm so angry. Bernie, did you know that if you cross a horse in a pony, you get a horny? For you. That's what the Italians say.

You get a horny. I can see that you guys are horny for mazes, so let's not waste any more time, huh? Here you're not strangers anymore, so let's go all right So let's okay. We're passing the hall of mirrors. Arnie close your eyes Okay, oh I keep hitting the Yeah, don't don't get too caught up in all this other stuff because you know there's a lot of this stuff is finished and Me and galboy here what kind of ideas guys? So you got a you got a fillbore here were kind of ideas guys.

So you got to fill in some of the kind of gaps where there would be like walls or like, perhaps that one. Okay, gotcha, gotcha. So this is an open concept maze? Fully, yeah. Yeah, so we had a contractor who was supposed to come by and saw the sort of traps that we had set up and just did not want to be on the hook for that. So we're not we're traps guys. We're not really walls guys. Ideas guys and traps guys.

Arnie, I should explain in Fune. If you do a job and you fuck it up, they put you on a hook. And so there's a term that you're on the hook for something. So that means that you probably don't want to do the job because you don't want to risk being impaled. Oh my God. She's a valgen now. She's got hooks.

She's got hooks. Is it too late to get hooks? It's too late. Yeah, it's too late. Well, I find it highly unlikely that I shall fall into one of your traps. So thirsty. Uh-oh.

All right, see, you found our free sample thirst trap upstairs. Damn, Linnymorra that came from. Cusses. So yes. So this lamin, doesn't seem to have many walls. And I can kind of just see kind of way over there on the other side of the room. There's a giant treasure casket, like... Oh. Well, I'm sorry, Malgoa, Galbor, I need to interject here.

A treasure casket? Yeah, for dead treasure, yeah. Please elaborate. Well, if I may step in Arnie, any life used or is treasure is valuable. So when we lose a life, we should value that life. So if you dig up a corpse, you're rich, maybe. What a beautiful sentiment. Graviars are like the banks of the earth.

Yeah. Graviars are like the banks of the earth. When you guys speak, it's like a maze of words, I love it. Yeah, the little word that you guys are too good at, Mases, that makes it. Oh, that's a certain idea. That's what I'm trying to find, that I am the best at Mases. The greatest airborne, the one most determined to move so swiftly through the twists and

turns that you'll think I'm going in a straight line. So again, there's not a ton of twists and turns. I am a little upset that you can already see the treasure casket back there, but we have the sort of galbos, a big skeleton guy who always puts the dantig skeletons, kind of drawing a lot of attention to that galbos. Yeah, if I may point out, there does seem to be like sort of a line

down the middle of the maze, and one half of it seems terribly messy, and the other half seems super tidying clean. What's going on there? We decided we'd do the line together, and I made my line super clean, and Balcore, I don't know what he was doing, he clearly was just like fiddling with bones, just finding bones. That's our beauty shirt. Yeah, so I was fiddling with bones and also my side. So the kind of thing with the labyrinth and as we're kind of learning as we go here is

that my side is all of the traps. That all that mess there, that is, I've already said too much. But you know what, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. If you step on my side of the room, you'll fall into, we call it a whirly blade trap, where there's whirly blades. And no, no, well, it's kind of just a bag of knives, actually. So if they're pointed up and I didn't really look at them,

I think galborist traps are a lot neater if you want to jump into one of his. So anyway, you've got two choices here. We like to throw in some riddles as well. So you must choose which path you should walk through the face. Yes. Will you go the dangerous path and fall into a trap or will you go just the regular way?

Hmm. Well, I think there might be a trick here. I think we should go the dangerous way. Wait, which side had the riddles? Because I'm very bad at riddles. That's true. This is the riddle. Oh, this is already started.

The game is a foot. Oh, this might be fun. Uses or is there any way that you could make Arnie and I temporary wizards? Because right now we have one wizard and if we're gonna go through this maze we should have try wizards. Yes here Drink deeply from this cup this try wizard cup and then we shall all become temporary wizards. Okay, Arni let's grab it at the same time

Okay, before you drink before you drink before you drink I should you, you're gonna act just like me while you're just like kind of like a half-ass, half-baked usador. Half-ass and half-baked? Wait, so we're gonna act just like you and you act like a half-ass, half-baked usador? No, no, no, no, I'm a full baked full ass usador. Full ass. She'll be a half ass half baked usador. And since I was two of you, maybe in just a quarter.

Boy, so Arnie, if you and I are both a half ass half baked, that only makes two wizards total. So it's a by wizard tournament. Or I'm sorry, by wizard maze. Maybe we should split this up and you be half baked and I'll be half assed? Ooh, that's a ship helling idea. Yeah, I'll be half-assed. Ooh, that's a ship-helling idea. Um...

Yeah, I'll be half-assed. Ooh, I don't have my cordoroi shorts on, so... Okay, let me just... I still have them in my... Satchel here, so I'll wear half my cordoroi shorts so you can see half my ass. Drink deeply from the cup. Let the... Let the liquid from the cup...

Run through the end veins. Sorry, user, we know how to do it. Oh, sorry. Sorry, oh, he's does this. OK. OK, OK, OK. All right, we're ready to take on the maze. Wow, OK.

OK, now as a wizard, the way we pramulate is we put one foot directly in front of the other. Oh, shit, they're going to go. It's called walking. You sir, we know how to walk. Balcon, they know all the tricks. Are you sure about this man? All right, it's too late to back out now.

Right. Okay, well, proceed. Okay, thank you so much. So I'm sorry, we're gonna take the dangerous path and that was Galbors? That's Balgor. That's Balgor. Balgor, the unclean.

Galbor, even though we're not doing your portion of the maze, would you mind joining us in the dangerous portion? Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, please, uh, don't I mean, I guess you, um, you know, we're poker face, uh, well, I assume you would both be coming with us. You don't go through your own maze? I mean, we've been through it hundreds of times. Yeah, we know all the tricks and secrets and traps, but I guess technically, you know, I, someone needs to be there to give out the hints.

So, I'll, I'll be your hint. I'll be your hint guy. Belcore. Please tell my story. Ha for it, don't go. I will go, I will also be your hint, master. All right, maybe we can both be, well, the hint, Benches for these guys, right? Okay, we're gonna go down together, huh?

Yeah, we're gonna go behind you, right? Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. Just don't ask you anything. Guys, I feel like we're getting some extra accidental hints here. Is it just me or does it seem like one, they don't wanna go this way? And two, they don't wanna go first.

We don't, we don't know anything about you and your maze abilities, but we don't wanna spoil anything. And if we go first, we're such maze masters that we would accidentally know what traps to avoid. We know the secrets too. Yeah. And again, Galbor does fantastic things with skeletons. There's secret skeletons, secret skulls. Different parts. If this helps to a swasiany fears, Galbor, I don't know if or any told you this,

I can't remember if you mention it, but he's actually recording a podcast right now. Oh yeah, I'm recording all of this. It's like a theater of the ears. And so anything you say into that little device he's holding will go out to dozens of listeners, and they'll hear your story. So if you have something you wanna say along the way,

just know that your story will be told. Val Gordes could be huge for us. Yeah, this is, again, the sort of dark basement maze has not, we haven't had the, the, the, the Minotaur Minotaur has been a colossal failure. Yeah. I mean, it took us so much effort and time just to get all these bones. Sure. So like we've really invested a lot into the bones and trying to grow corn in a basement.

He has been does not grow. Can I say just by digging up bones that you're already rich? Because I don't know if you know this, but graveyards are the banks of the earth. Graveyards are the banks of the... their nature's coffers. Wow, it's true. Bones are like nature's corn. What my mom would always say. And I didn't believe it until just now.

All right, you know what? Belkore, take my hand. We're gonna go through this maze with them. We're gonna fulfill our dream. If we can get some good PR off of this maze from these fine folks, I think that this is gonna be what launches our star. Here we go. We're gonna take our first step into the maze

right after this quick break from someone and then we should learn how my maze abilities are a maze abilities. You're actually not allowed to say that. That's trademarked unfortunately. Oh, could I say like an amazing. Whoa. That's fine because it's bad.

Oh, yeah. I'm open to notes. This is a Wurleyblade, just a bag of knives. I just picked up the bag and I just threw it aside. Well, you need to... Whirl them around, of course. But I don't want... If I don't do that, then I'm not in danger. It's fine, I just threw it aside.

Arnie, would you say bag of knives or bag O knives? I would say bag O knives with like an apostrophe, just because I love punctuation. Yeah, you're kind of a word smith. You just grabbed the bag, Bel Gore. You just grabbed it. Okay, these guys are really good at Maze. It's incredible. They're incredible Maze Masters. Okay, is this couch part of it? Is this shitty couch part of it? guys are really good at Maze. It's incredible. They're incredible Maze Masters. Okay, um, is this couch part of it? Is this shitty couch part of it?

Yeah, touch, touch the couch. Yeah. Give me a night. Give me a night, give me a night, Belvoir. It's... Oh, it's wet. It is wet. Oh, it's so wet. We don't have a bathroom down here. Oh, it's wet. It is wet. Oh, it's so wet. We don't have a bathroom down here. Oh, that's a good one. You know, I'm not very tired. We can just not sit on this couch.

So we just not sit on the couch? I'll lean against it. Already did I ever tell you I want to know a duck who is so rich in bones that used to dive into them? In the bones? Yeah. And you said you have bones on Earth, right? You said it's America's number one program?

Mm-hmm. I can only hope it still is. When you said you were particularly fond of David Boreana, isn't he's entire... ...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Oh, it's so hard to keep all these earth facts straight. I know. But it is very easy to navigate to this maze. Yeah, so just to kind of check in, the rancid minotaur piss is not making anybody pass out. It's not everybody's feeling okay. Is that what that is? It is gross. Who does that?

We currently have the power of try wizards. It's where they're currently they have the power of wizards. Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah. Okay. I'm beginning to wonder, should we not have wasted the try wizard cup that can only be used one time ever on this maze? I think maybe we shouldn't have done that. I think maybe as well, because I gotta be honest, I haven't been doing any magic.

I'm winning against the wet couch. I haven't even done a voice or anything. No, that's the part that I'm most surprised about. But do a little magic. Try some magic out. Wait, wait, are you an user or listen to me? Hey, uh-oh, yeah, baby. Am I doing a voice? Hmm. I mean, technically, I suppose, yes. OK, good, good.

OK, let's try and do some magic. Galbor, why don't you come here, Galbor? Oh, OK, sure. Yeah, what's fun? Let's see here. OK, let me think of it. What's one thing you've always wanted? One thing I've always wanted.

I guess like a skeleton that's my friend. I'm going tell you about it. You would love bones the t-shirt All right, Zappity-Dabity Ooh look, I mean you uh, it's it's all femurs. There's no head to it Oh, you got it you got it to one of my bone sacks. Yeah You gotta again, I just had them all laid out over there. I know there's kind of no rhyme or reason I'm starting to see how certain is your point galbore. Yeah, when they all come together like that. It's just a big Just a big bunch of actually. It's really similar to your whirly blades. It's just a bunch of femur spinning around Go ahead likes me, but he also brought you coffee, so he is your friend.

Oh, look at that. You know what? You find all sorts of things in a maze, and I guess today I've found friendship. Ow! Ow! Can I ask, how do you two know each other? Are you related? Is it...

Or are our parents or friends? Oh, okay. Yeah. As you do, you know, you start out as your parents are friends. Okay, yeah. As you do, you start out as your parents are friends, you start pointing that fish together and you get cursed together and things kind of just go from there. Well, our parents were the town fish pointers. So we inherited the trade.

We decided to, you know, jazz it up a little bit, just go from fish pointing to offering tours, because normally it just pointed the fish, so they stay in line. Yes. We decided that, you know, we could bring people out there and point at the fish, show them the fish. And that's where things really took it to. Holy shit, wait a second.

You're telling me that your two moms are the pointer sisters? They're just bad as crap. Yep, they are known by that title. Not actual sisters, but just best friends who point in fish. They're like like sisters, yes. I have to say it is an honor to meet you two. I'm so excited. I'm so excited.

Stories about them for what is that, Arnie? I'm so excited. Well, hide it. I can't. I just can't. Hide it. That is fantastic. I'm not only this control. But I think I hide it. I can't. I just can't. Hide it. That is fantastic. I'm not only the control, but I think I like it.

It's been hard living in the shadows of our moms. Literally, they are quite tall, but also because of their impressive reputation for being just primo fish pointers. But also, again, they are, they're 12 feet tall. They're, yeah. Wow. These are actually part of the reason we got into so much trouble with the Minotors but also, again, they're 12 feet tall. They're, yeah. They're exactly, yeah. This is actually part of the reason

we got into so much trouble with the Minotors is because we were, this, like, when we got turned into Minotors, we were already these huge jacked guys, and we would just push people into the rivers and steal their gold. Yeah. When we said we were gonna give them a Minotor,

so we just got these bowl faces, or I I got a bull face you got a bite in face I think that's why the wizard was mad at us is because we We punched him in the clavicle and then tried to steal his goal was it don't get mad they could even that's exactly what he said Wait a second. I got this wizard that did this to you. Did he look like? Exactly what he said wait a second. Oh my gosh. This wizard that did this to you. Did he look like? Like this guy you're talking to right now. Well, it's really dark down here But hold on let me take a closer. I'm not actually wearing my glasses. Let me put glasses on the thing. Holy shit It's awesome. Oh my god Well, you see I it's just you know

I'm wearing this comment because I just want people to know I'm a wizard So I'm just like, you know, I'm really displaying wizard the one fucking time you don't say your name to someone endlessly It's what they actually know you. I think the problem was that the wizard we met was wearing really shitty clothes I totally forgot that the centaur's know you as minno minu chi that's right before you now stands minno minu chi Oh god, it's him well I apologize for nothing. You tried to push me over and take my gold, and I just wanted to see some fish.

Is it so wrong that I just wanted to see? Oh, buddy. Some fish. You must be so thirsty. I'm so thirsty. Oh, I'm so sorry that we couldn't show you a single damn fish. No, no. There was just a don't fish.

There wasn't a single baby fish around. We're not our moms, okay? We're not our moms! That's all right. I'm not birds or rain, or a conspiracy of wind and fire. I'm not my parents either. We all have to step out from the shadow

that we either literally or figuratively live in. I'm not a maf teacher or a basketball coach. I believe you. They're really stopped everybody in my tracks, but I got, you know, I'm from another world. Well, it seems like maybe you're gonna offer some sage advice afterwards, but instead you just said what you weren't. Oh, yeah. And then you provide a lot of context around it. Mm-hmm. Oh, context. You know what? It's all water

under the bridge, which is of course the next challenge in the labyrinth. Hold on, guys, I think I saw this one. If there's water under a bridge, that means that there's a bridge, so let's just cross the bridge. Ah, okay, okay, and you've got it. Well, these blindfolds, and if you walk over to this ladder here, hanging over this pit with a string tied to it, that I am holding the other end of, I think you might find one of Galbor's secret skeletons. Oh, we didn't talk about this. I think you might find one of Galbor's secret skeletons.

Oh, um, Balgo, we didn't talk about this. Go with it. I guess thank you for the option, but since we already crossed the bridge and we seem to be okay, I don't know, Chuck, he's making it sound like we'll be missing out of it. We don't put these blindfolds on.

It's a really good skeleton. I also drank all the water under the bridge. Calm down, Ann Marie. So, are you still thirsty? Arene, they said that there's gonna be skeletons that pop out in the techison stuff, I also drank all the water under the bridge. Calm down Ann Marie. Still thirsty. Arnie, they said that there's going to be skeletons that pop out in the tecacin stuff. So they outright said there's a skeleton there, so why would we want a skeleton to attack us? Hey, can I ask a guy's, can I ask a question? Is it alright if we just put on the blindfolds and then don't go to where the skeleton is?

Well, you see inside the skeleton is the key you will need to open the very special casket within which the treasure resides. So unfortunately you have no choice but to claim this very cool limited edition skeleton which it took me forever to get the bow tie on, but I guess we're just giving it away now, isn't that right, Balfour? Well, we don't have to give it, we don't have to just get, no, yeah, just giving it away now, isn't that right, Balgor? Well, we don't have to give it... We don't have to just... Get... No, yeah, just take it.

Just take my special little guy. You know, you don't run into a lot of child skeletons, but I found one, and I put in a tiny tuxedo, and I guess Balgor decided that that's where the magic key that opens the casket should go, but yeah, sure. Yeah, let's just go with it. Pardon me, sweet skeleton. May I borrow your key? Sure thing, Mr. Here you go. It's a skeleton key.

Oh, I thank you very much. I'll never talk to me. Amazing that you're able to have a list when you were just bones. What are you up for me? I'm magical. Look, I don't know. What the hell do you want for me? I'm just a wizard. Do you want me to curse you? No, I want Kidd's butt. And so you shall have one.

Oh, why chocolate? You said are don't engage with this shit. Look, you're complaining about what candy? I'm giving you a free candy. Kidd's butt. You get fucked. Hey, while these guys argue, uh, minute or a minute. Hold on, hold on, I'm gonna work this out. You said everybody, don't tell me. You want Kidd to get fucked? No, while these guys argue, uh, minute or a minute. Hold on, hold on, I'm gonna work this out.

Yes, everybody. Don't tell me. You want kids to get fucked? No, I told, I, I told me first. Yeah, yeah, how about this one? How's this candy bar? Okay, is there coconut inside? Yeah, there's coconut inside.

Hard, man. Fuck this, all right here. There, try that one. Bound gorg albor, I'm sorry. This is kind of embarrassing. The use of doors getting into an argument with your maze. It's okay. This never happens. Literally, that skeleton has never talked before. This is quite unusual. Everybody loves chunky. What are you talking about?

I'm saying chunky is not a great descriptor. Look at me. I'm a skeleton in a tuxedo and a bow tie. I'm saying chunky is not a great descriptor. Look at me, I'm a skeleton in a Tuk-Tukin in the bull die. I'm a professional. Don't take it personally, it's just the name of the candy bar. I'm gonna push him in. It's just that push him in. Yeah, do it, do it. Push him in. Push him in.

Huh, are you? Did your head get chopped off? Or... Uh, me? No, no, uh, it's uncomfortable down here, but it's not a Particularly painful the blades weren't up. They're just Oh, looks like they're all laying on their side. It's just sort of a Sort of you know, I arranged them. I laid them all flat. So it'd be easier to organize the blades

You put them all alphabetically. Yeah Yeah, you put them all alphabetically. Yeah You know daggers on one side and then before daggers you got broad swords Uh-huh, and then of course, you know, you've also got six million suitions. Okay. I think that's a sword I can't remember. Yeah, so Sean Stevens, right? That's the guy who makes those. Yeah. Yeah, there you go five five more apple knives right is Simitaz you know they're all down there, they're all organized. You can double check if you want. This is Galboard, this is a maculet,

but I don't think you can chop anybody's head off with just a really, this is just a fantastic display. Yeah, now we make them fight to the death, yeah. Let's go back, what about the kid who wanted a very particular candy bar, that was the riddle they couldn't really crack. Oh yeah, yeah. Let's just go with the skeleton. Get over there, get over there.

Let's work out. You can't get past me and the kid won't work until you figure out what kind of candy bar I designed. Ah, fuck, the answer is no candy bar. I'm a skeleton. It'll just go on the fucking floor. Damn. Just take here, it'll work, it'll take it.

It felt a fraud thing. Are you writing this down, Belcourt? This is good. Absolutely a fraud thing. All right, well, we have the key. We have the key? So do we just go to the treasure casket? You could, unless we're already here.

It was. Okay, and you walked in. There was another couch that had covered in Minotaur piss that was Noxious fumes. Is Minotaur piss supposed to smell like this? Like are you two all right? I had a had a Caesar salad with a sparrot just bits in it So that might be what your smell in there. You should eat more pineapple your piss will smell better. Is that a riddle or is that?

No, it's just this is a little tip from you to me dietary I eat only pineapple and mine arguably smell worse It makes me teary-eyed when I'm near it. I'm surprised you all learned having a reaction to it You need some protein of some kind Was able to climb out of the pit rather easily Ugh. Ugh. I was able to climb out of the pit rather easily. Uh, I can't.

I just wanted to let you know that you had confused Flale's entrunchens, and I put them in the correct order. I think you're just not really working out for me today. Huh. First you steal my special little guy, and then I find out that I've miscategorized the blades. You know what? Just, you can just have whatever's in that chest. I'm done here.

Oh, thank you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think you've done a wonderful job in that chest. I'm done here. Oh I think I think you've done a wonderful job with this maze. It's it's so confusing. There's there's literally no walls The traps are mostly just upsetting it's that I'm actually dangerous I think I Yes, I'm so confused. Can you please give us a hint a hint? Okay, well, we already gave you the one hint That said that the one side had traps, but it was so tough Right, I can see a very confused second hint is you have to put the key in the chest second hint is you have to put the key in the chest. Uh-huh, but where in the chest do you put the key? Probably the key hole, but...

God damn it! Wow, probably the key hole, but maybe the underside... we have a lot to unpack. Yes, it's gonna take us a very long time. We're gonna try everything before we try the keyhole. Right, guys? Right. And I have to say, you two are the cleverest,

smartest, most brilliant, minute-tour, and bicep tours I've ever met. Oh, thank you so much. It's tough having down here, a corn maze with no corn in it. I haven't nobody come by. And mostly just being down here in this basement in the dark for ourselves for a long time, you know, a corn maze with no corn in it, I haven't nobody come by and, but mostly just being down here in this basement

in the dark for ourselves for a long time, just to hear words of affirmation, just really, really, of course, really making my day here. And I guess like a soy maze, does I have the same ring to it? So you definitely want it to be corn. Yeah, we tried to make a tofu maze,

where you just stack the bricks, but it just, it's so wiggly. Yeah. The bricks, it's just, if you bump into it, it just falls right over, unfortunately. So it's got, it's corner bust, honestly. That's our T-shirt corner bust. Balloncore, galbork.

Can I, you know, I worked a little bit in game design back on my world. And I'm thinking about your hint system. Have you ever thought about maybe having the hints escalate in usefulness? Like I just, and far be it for me to be critical. But your first hint literally means, let's us know that we should avoid 50% of the labyrinth. It feels like that shouldn't be the first hint you get. Hmm.

Right. So like 25% like do it by quadrants. What you're saying. I mean, 25 is better than 50. That's pretty true. I know math. I'm no math teacher, but I know that much. Well, you're assuming that you've correctly solved the riddle,

but clearly, Galborr side has several traps and secrets on it. Yeah. You didn't even know about the bonus secrets. Yes, you've been almost six skeletons. Oh, I see bone secrets. I get it. I get it. That's fun. They're all, I mean, if you want a bone, us, or you want to bone the skeletons, it's up to you.

I'm good, but thank you for the offer. This is to get turned. Their sex positive is all I'm saying. That's what it's going to be. Sex positive. Um, wait one moment while I, uh, someone a falcon to me. Whee.

Yeah. Take these candy bars to the skeletons on the other side of the maze. Ha, wait. Can you say candy bars again? Yeah, take these candy bars to the other side of the maze. Uh, you say it's a weird candy bars. Candy bars. Candy bars. That's what I'm saying.

And can I also point out that that's a really cool sort of prison that you built in the maze with candy bars. It does suck that it melted, but that would have been such a cool detail. So really, you guys absolutely crushed this. Yeah, again, we love puns. Yeah, it's kind of really the unifying theme between all of our projects. I could take a little. Well I'm gonna go ahead and

put this key in the lock here give the old turn of the wrist. Oh you're coming to spiders. Oh there's like 40 dead spiders in here. Oh, do you have to feed spiders? I thought that their spiders just ate dust. Did you put any spider food in there? Yes. There's dust in the webs. They just eat dust. That's what spiders do, right?

Do they not eat dust? No, they don't eat dust. They ain't my fucking dust. So, look, let's dig in here. You killed a lot of spiders. Yeah. There was a whole, they had a whole little extended family here. Look at them. Yeah.

Just, oh, so many. They all wear tiny little hats. It's really cute. I guess it makes the casket pod literal. That's fine. Ooh, Arnie, look at this big parcel. Do you want an unwrapped... Oh, there's a tag here.

It says... It says, Art is fact. I'm having a vision. This is the artifact. The artifact. Did you guys write this tag here? No, we just, we sent away from a Mace starter kit.

And that was in it. It was one of the things you get like one unmistakable artifact, a couple of bones, a couple of spiders, and then some corn seeds. And that was all in the starter pack for the maze kit. We didn't open it because it's sealed and you're supposed to make sure that it's supposed

to feel unique for the person that finishes the maze. So we haven't actually looked inside it yet. We are pun fans, we don't make our own puns, if that makes sense. You outsource them. Our our old businesses, we fielded that out to a company. I can't wait to hear that company's name, which we'll get to after a few more minutes. Okay, Arnie, why don't we uh...

You said, or, John, this, if this is the artifact we've been looking for this for quite some time, this is one of the main reasons we're here in Castle Skullmaster. That's right. Found it before the Dark Lord can use it to cheat the true death. Ha ha ha, it's success! It's bigger and flatter than I thought it would be. Yeah, this is the biggest one we found.

Should we, oh, I know it might be fun. Maybe like every day for the next 30 days, like we raised the cloth, it's wrapped in like an inch, so that by the end, then we, like, it's like a anticipation. Is that too fast paced for this show, Olli? Uh, we could probably draw this out for another two, three years. I'm just gonna clean up some of these spiders

while you talk if that's okay. Sure, sure. There's a lot of them and they're really cluttering up the place. By the way, Balkor, Dabboar, I just want to say, we have been looking for this artifact for a long time and I really am so thankful that we stumbled upon your maze. Oh, well, thank, I mean spread the word because as you can see not a lot of people come into the old maze. Yeah, that is going to be

$300 for each of you for completing the maze, but you do have to pay or we are going to you know punch you in the stomach and throw you in a river. Yeah, Arnie, they're using Earth currency, dollars, you pay them. Oh, and Arnie, I would say let them go ahead and do that, and I can take it, but I used to drink the river, so it'd just be thrown into like a fucking empty canal, and that would hurt. That's actually where I store my shields, so you'd be fine. I gotta say, $300 a person is a bit much. It feels like if we had like three more people with us, this would have been a little bit cheaper.

But then it's not as fun. You don't get to solve everything. Yeah, we do normally offer discounts for big groups. Well, three, three is a pretty big group, especially in the three wizards here. Could you look at wizard discount for a belt war? You know what, for the wizard, who cursed us? How much do you have?

All right, I see what you're getting to. If I reverse the curse, then you'll give us a reasonable rate. I see how it's one back and one hand scratches the back of the other, I understand, yay. I think I know how to get us the best discounts. Oh, and I'm so sorry. I failed to mention I should set this up top.

The three of us are actually dead, and this is part of a corpse-rich team building exercise. You tell them you're skeletons? Underneath? Future skeletons. Oh, yeah, I got it. So is there like a corpse rate, corpse rate discount? So maybe our here's the deal.

You turn us back into normal, incredibly buff tall guys. And then when you die, proper, you just let us have your bones. Well, that's, yeah, you should or you were talking about reversing the curse. So yeah, that would you be willing to do that? I suppose so, yes, and. Yes, I actually think I might stay a minator at Galbor, I don't want to throw you off if you want to just be a guy who hangs out with a minator,

but... Well, it's kind of fun. Alright, yeah, why don't you go ahead and reverse a curse on Galbor? Uh-huh. I will stay a minator, uh, and then if you guys could hand out a couple flyers... Oh. Uh, for the day...

I'll make a huge, that'd be big, yeah. And then we'll just, we'll call it even. Well, this is going to be tricky because I transformed you both at the same time together. And I'm going to have to figure out whether to call this episode Minotors or Minotor and one incredibly tall buff. Indeed. I don't know when the right time is to ask Balgor with that pun shop's name was. I don't want to put Balgor in the spot, but I do want to know the name of that company.

Maybe I'll just never. Ah, yes. I know the spell. It's come to me now. Come to me, Galbo. I shall transform the from by Senata. Has the spell started? Yeah.

Okay, sorry. Yeah, I'm so sorry. The spell has a little fucking preamble, is that all right with you? No, I thought it was just prep work. I wasn't sure come to me galbo All right here galbo the tidy yes thou shall be here Transform it back into thine original form Eroth otoro Akara shantatini

Akram bhaiai Philly Karaschan top-dini Oh yeah Akram bhaiai Felili Saba- AAAAAA OOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOO OOOOOO

OOOOOO And also Zappity Dapity OOOOOO OOO I'm sorry, you're a basin of a bottom and uh, with a man's head Alright He's not mad at it I mean, hold on

Let me, let me, you know what? Hey, hey, bring me one of those skeletons P-ooja! You're a back kick on it. Whoa You exploded him that was your friend in bragging coffee Not anymore. This is the new gal-bore. Whoa, we're both unclean now. We're gonna we're gonna go around We're gonna wreck bones. We're two nasty boys. We love wrecking bones. Oh If I may suggest Clearly you're a gal-bore baby, but now maybe you should If I may suggest clearly you're a gal, or baby, but now maybe you should be a borgow

since you're reversed. I mean, like I'll consider it. It's like all my birth certificate. That would be like a lot of work. A lot of paperwork. And as you again, with the contractors, we're not great at paperwork. No, yeah, you're right.

There are dumb ideas. And I'm sorry, I got so caught up. I'm so sorry. Sorry about that. Anyway, you guys want to get out of here? I'll just kick a hole in the wall. Whoa! Well, first let's open up.

Let me rip the cloth off. Yeah, let's write the artifact. Whoa, what is it? It's a monster. Look at this monster. Wait, he's got a face and he's got candy right this is a painting of me That's not that's not you come on aren't you look like you this looks like a painting recreation of one of my middle school

School photos aren't you stop saying middle school, okay? You say who? HO. Oh, that's the middle of school. Okay? It's take it takes so long to say middle school. Look at this, look at this little boy in this painting. Imagine a smaller me with like a straggly mustache and standing in front of a field of lasers. This is me. Oh, it is a glamorous shot. It is unmistakably the artifact. I can feel the magic pulsating off of it. And look into the eyes, chump. Look into the eyes of this...

strange little boy. It is... Arnie. So this whole time, all the years you've been here, Arnie, there's been a painting of you in this trunk, not aging at all while you get so old. Well, I mean, I don't.

I think I look alright. Then again, I haven't looked in a mirror in five years. What could this mean? What I must think about this. I must consult the great holes of Turokus. As soon as we are able to escape Castle Skull Master. Balkor, do you think that we could use like a laser field to trap children? I would like in this picture. I was going to say that that looks like a great trap. Do you remember

that trap where you found that trap? Because the worldly blades aren't doing it as much for the knife museum. B algorithm galbore is there, is there a place where we can like write and review? Is there like trap advisor or something? Yeah, I get us on trap advisor, or if you just go out by the hall of mirrors and just yell to come to our maze instead. Yeah, you can check us out also on help,

which is of course the app for people who have been trapped. Okay. Yeah, absolutely Well, yeah, we'll leave you we'll leave you some five-star reviews. Thank you so much. Really appreciate it You've made our day here. Yeah, and you can't see let me turn around and you can see that my little bison tail is just really Oh, no, it's really wagon because of how excited I am Bison famously do that. Yeah, we are absolutely. Classic Bison. Our moms are gonna be so proud of us. I'm excited that now you have two ways to let us know that you're excited.

You're tail-con-wagon also, you can point at that tail and say, look, I'm really happy. My tail is wagon. It's not a fish, but it'll do. I transformed three fifths of the people in this episode, and none of them changed their voice. I'm sapoty-dapoty.

Did you want me to talk like this? Oh, wow. You've been listening to Hello from the Magic Tavern, where you've got to do a lot more than transform someone into an entirely different creature to make them change their voice. Usual The Wizard was played by Matt Young. Shunt the talking badger, in form-fitting 70s porn-cortaroid cut-offs was played by Adolf Refeier. Valgor the unclean and Galbor the tidy were played by special guest Brian Murphy, and

called Will Tanner from the podcast Not Another D&D Podcast, available on all podcast platforms. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Meekam, Matt Young and Abel Refyre, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. Ear will producer Kimmy Lucas, this episode edited by Tim Joyce, Special Assistant by Ryan DeGeorgie. Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard LeBam, Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. you