Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 3, Ep 9 - Sorcerer (w/ Mike Hanford of Questions For Lennon)

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

The army is joined by a sorcerer with a hard to determine amount of power. Also, sorcerers are totally different from wizards.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungTrinkle the Sorcerer: Mike HanfordMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEarwolf Producer: Kimmie LucasEditor: Stephen DrangerSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Ugh. Down to the last dozen nourishment cubes. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Duh. Other dimensions aren't. Hey, interested in any other podcast than this one? That's the spirit. Consider Earth Games, the Magic Tavern Spin-Off series where Arnie, use it or enchant, play classic board games on Stitcher Premium. You can get a free month of Stitcher Premium, greedy, by going to Stitcher Premium.com slash Magic, and using promo code Magic. The latest episode has squibbert the frog, voiced by Sarah Shockey, playing a game called The Mind.

It's a cooperative game, and the episode is a descent into madness. You can decide if it's a descent into entertainment. And now, take a good long look at who you are before hearing this, tell that person goodbye, and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern. A weekly podcast from the magicalical Land of Foon. I'm your host, Arnany Camp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. About four and a half years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the fantastical Magical Land of Foon. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King that I somehow can use,

like all over Fune now. It's almost like it's a hot spot kind of thing. And I use that Wi-Fi to upload a podcast I record as we travel around Fune, chronicling our quest to defeat the dark Lord. And I am joined, as always, by my co-generals, co-captains, Chant the Talking Badger, uh, Dunebuggies, and Yusudor the Wizard.

I am Yusudor. Wizard of the Twelfth Realm of Ephesius, Master of Light and Shadow, Minimulator of Magical Delights, Devour of Chaos, Champion of the Great Holes of Tarakus, the elves Nomius Fyingalak, the dwarves Nomius Zonenin whouk Stangies, and I am known in the Northeast-is-Gasemoinius-May-Star, and there may be secret names. Oh, names! Oh, Nory! That hushed hush lips with such gentle care, that if air they did escape those very lips, most assuredly, your eyeballs would boil in your head, and then the sockets left where your eyeballs would boil in your head and then the sockets left where your eyeballs would before

would grow flowers and those flowers would turn against you and rip off your face. Cool. So don't say that name. Yeah, I won't. Hey, it's a secret. You said, could you turn your head a little to the left? Uh-huh. Now turn your head a little to the right. Uh-huh. You know, from that way he totally looks like a Coriorsman. But wait, turn back that way again. That way he does not look like a Cor to the right. Uh-huh. You know, John, from that way he totally looks like a Cory Orsman But wait, turn back that way again. Uh-huh. That way he does not look like a Cory Orsman. That's weird. Yeah, and that way he looks like a Barrymore. Yeah, like that profile. What a profile. He looks more like a Barry. I look like a Barrymore. Mm-hmm. Somebody draw that. I want to see a Drew Barrymore. Okay. It's just gonna be a bush with a fruit sprouting off of it. Not right.

Oh, but Chant, I haven't been meaning to bring this up. I don't know if this is a little bit awkward. You know, we now have this whole army that we're in charge of. That we're going to be able to defeat the Dark C'mord. Finally an army to destroy evil in all its forms. We shall rise and go, oh the hill, destroying evil wherever we do me take. I... What better way to defeat any army than with monologues? We shall rise and go, oh the hill! Destroy the evil wherever we do meetings! Bye!

What better way to defeat any army than with monologues? And your object work. And character motivation. Like, this army is artists. This is an army of artists, which, you know what, they're wonderful company. But I don't think they're gonna be very good against the Dark Lord. Okay. We're all gonna get killed!

I cast down from the heavens by Yusodoro's mighty magic. I shall use this magic to destroy them with all my might. But anyway, Chuck, like, we're kind of like- I saw one guy get hit in the face by a bird, he fucking died. Oh no. Just, yeah. Wait, the bird or the- One soldier was like going over his lines

and a bird just flew into the side of his face and he just died. The bird or the guy? Both. Oh no. Yeah. That's the murder side. Well, he took one out. Oh, okay. If birds were to descend, we know that each soldier could take out a bird.

So hypothetically? So if we go against an army of orcs, that is just a few people shy of how many people we have, we got a shot. Or, well, no, that's not fair. An army of birds. Yeah. Until I stand naked. Oh, are there corpses? But I don't even need to say like We're kind of in charge of this army now, and we should maybe try to like set a good example and you're using a little salty

Sea language when you said dunebuggies. Yeah. Oh, right shit fuck. I'm sorry Yeah, no, also yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, let's try to like be our better selves. Yeah, yeah, shit, fuck, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What? What? This army should be thrilled to have a... A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a to rush into swords and shields being destroyed. Yeah, but that beard though. Yeah, it's a real... It's a real... No, but this isn't like a striped situation, so... You know, like when tigers go into battle and they can like, wear their fur how they want it? But, but certainly there must be some sort of exception for a wizard, for a wizard without a beard.

What nonsense were that to be? I don't know. You gotta shave it. I have to shave off my beard. You just stay in the army. Yeah. What a set day. Oh, I near thought I would sink so low,

but now I find that I must reveal my sweet baby face to the world. Oh, how the women and men shall all swoon when they see me. And the soldiers do know him as sweet baby face. Oh, Arnie, Arnie, can I talk to you for a second? Sure. Here, get under this couch. Get under the generals' couch.

Oh, what? I don't think we need to dump that. In the time when we should get under the table. All right, I'm going to the road and get under the couch. Get under Johnny's couch. Hey, hey, hey, yeah. Is you still working more monologue in the normal? I don't.

I mean, I'm only kind of like half-less thing to him, usually. So he's really expounding on everything., like just really like a grandiose. I don't know if he's being around all these actors. And I also stand here and love this couch as they speak beneath it, thinking thoughts unto myself, hoping that some inspiration shall come to me to save my known beard. Are you saying he's like caught the acting bug? Maybe? Also earlier, he was saying something that ended with Stan Nick at over the enemies What we should pay attention to what he said yeah, we really let that go down river

But I mentally can't undo that that's the real conundrum that is you said or like he talks so much that you don't pay attention So you missed the real weird show that's tucked in there's one nugget in that pan of water and it just The shave Mama Mama, do you see me? Do you know who I really am mama? He doesn't have a mom. He was born to Board of birds in a conspiracy of fire. I come down here every day while you sit in that bed Not wanting to move.

Your legs not working anymore. Oh, mama. See, trying to get in Gilbert Gray? Okay, all right, let's get out from underneath this couch. Okay, look. Oh, sorry, I just need these pages. Look, as part of running this military,

I thought it would be a good idea to kind of like meet the people that work in it. What do we call our people in this army like ourselves? What's that they're called? War? No, I mean like the individual, like meet the people, like wow, like I mean war. Well, we're gonna use this army to like press up against our enemies, so maybe meet the press.

Meet the press. Okay, yeah, we're doing it. But a couple of them, I learned some of the last names. A couple of them, their last name is. Fucker, what is that? That can't be yet. Now, they're from the nation of Valshmer, so maybe we should face the nation. Great.

The Maglachlan group. But anyway, I'm having some of our soldiers, oh, that's the word, soldiers. I'm having some of our soldiers. Yeah, soldiers. Bring in some of our people one by one, so we can kind of meet them. Perfect. And apparently, Houston, you'll be excited about this.

Oh! We have a sorcerer in our ranks. Oh, heck yeah. Yeah, so finally I got a little bit of magic going on. What a hell, dear you! I am incredibly magical. We're gonna be cooking with fire. Well, I'm very excited to meet this sorcerer.

Even though we come from different magical genealogies, I'm very excited to trade magical secrets. You can tell he's pissed. You can tell you Sarah's pissed. What? This could turn into a pissy contest. Well, I mean, if we're a similar type and we're both, you know, auditioning to get into this army, yeah, I might be a little upset.

Yeah, that could be a problem. Well, Arnie, how do we find this, or sir? I think he's been waiting outside the tent. That's what we've been talking for like five hours. Yeah, just about nothing, just nothing. All right, anyway, guards, will you send in tranquil the striped? Red leth, yeah, leth, leth, leth, leth, leth, leth.

Oh, how are you? How are you? Oh, sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I are you? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sort of connoble. How's everybody doing? Sorry. Oh, very well. It's a pleasure to meet you, Trinkle.

The tiger is a bit of a tiger. Trinkle tiger. Trinkle tiger. Oh, that makes sense with the striped outfit your way. Right, right. It was Ed Azou, was a young boy. My mother said to me, you know, you want to be fierce?

And I said, yeah, I've been fierce, fierce like him. He's so straight. What do you see? This is important thing to know about sorcerers. They must have an animal familiar. Oh, really? That's true. Yes.

And you get to pick it when you're a small boy. Wow. Tiger's a pretty good one. I got the, yeah, they've got the biggest clause in the world. What? Well, see, that's how the sign of a good source or if they pick a good animal familiar, if someone's like, I'm gonna pick this pigeon,

you know, they kind of suck. Wait, wait, wait, whoa, was that magic? The fact that he knew that tigers have the biggest claws in the world, that was kind of magic. No, no, no, no, don't jump to any conclusions here. I read that out of a book. But you know what? Yeah, we'll look. And that's true, don't forget kids any conclusions here. I read that out of a book. But you know what? So, animal book?

And that's true. Don't forget kids reading its magic. Well, I wouldn't say that. It was just something I learned as a, again, it was a small book. And I will say this, a big part of my favorite animal in the world, I'm always, I have a big frog fin. You're a big frog?

Okay. I'm named after a tiger, but I like frogs the most. You like frogs the most? I love, because they can have. I love birds, because they can fly and they're delicious. Now, wouldn't you say hopping is just a floral flight? I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way.

I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way.

I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that way. I never thought about it that between. Well, hopping is flying with purpose. You know exactly where you're going. If you're a bird, you're just floating around up there. Yeah, I get. Can I say that hopping is like flying with purpose

and hoping is like floating with bullock, yep. Yeah, would you guys mind if I lay down in this couch for a minute? I've just been standing outside for five hours. Oh, yeah, no, that's our fault. Yeah, that's our fault. I've had to borrow my sister's shoes and the size bigger than me. Oh, no, he don't.. That's our fault. I've had to borrow my sister's shoes, and the size bigger than me.

Oh, no, he don't. Why don't you have your own shoes? I threw mine at a soldier. What happened to the soldier? I can't tell if he's doing a verbal warm-up. I had to borrow my sister's shoes. Did the soldier offend you in some way? You could say that, he pushed me down in the mud.

How? Because I grabbed his sword, and I wandered to wing it around and see if I could do that. That is fun, though the mud. How? Because I grabbed his sword and I wanted to wing it around and see if I could do it. Oh yeah. That is fun though. It is fun to take someone's sword and just see what you can do it.

And I had asked and it was sort of a very hushed tone and he didn't hear me. He didn't pick me up and put me in the mud. So I threw my, oh, threw my, what did it sound like when you asked him? Oh, what I asked him, I'll do it for you here. So you'd have to be all be turned away from me with you thinking, we can do that. I went around and I went.

Have you, did he do it? I think he did it. Yes, it's very hard to hear that. Oh, I know. But I thought maybe I could just get over around. Would you mind a piece of advice? Sure. Next time you want to borrow so and so,

look them straight in the eye and say, I am a mighty sorcerer. and if you do not give me also right now, I shall strike you down with all the mighty powerful magic that is at my disposal. Oh, yeah, that seems like a lot. Tingle, do you notice how tingles that right? It's tringles.

Tringles, like three tingles. Tringles, did you notice how when you used to her talks, also when he does spells, he really enunciates. And you're more of like a mumble fuck. I'm more of hoping I can just a mumble what? A mumble fuck? Fuck. I just want to make sure I got that second part.

Oh, great. Yeah, I'm a little bit more of a mumble fuck. I just, I try to get my magic out of, shooting out of my hands, really kind of filled. Okay, so I was going to say like if you if you can't really enunciate or like you mumble a little bit or people can't hear what you're saying, I was curious how your spells work. It's more of a tactile thing. It's sort of I think them up and I sort of mumble the the spell to myself and hopefully some shoots out of my hands. Okay. Oh, could we see that in action? Sure. Let's see. You guys are wearing hats. Let me show you if I get a three hats going on

Oh, can we do something first where you like you knock down a vase or something? I don't want you is that your go-to? I don't want to go to a hat something. Yeah, I don't want that I don't want my first introduction to your magic to be you shooting something at my head Okay, I could I could that makes sense. Let me shoot a hat on to the floor And then I'll knock that over. Yeah, also you said or is already wearing a wizard hat like a hat on a hat I don't know. Yeah, all right. Well, do you want to put the hat on the ground? I can't I shouldn't be wearing this hat on the tent anyway

It's very so we're not even gonna make a make a hat. He's just Lock it on the ground. Well, there's point now that it's on the ground. I'm closer to my foot. I just kick it over Well done very good. I mean practical. Yes I don't want to use it's closer to my foot, I can just kick it over. Oh, well done. Very good. I mean, practical. Yes. I don't want to use up all my power. Yeah. I believe in practice. Mom didn't raise no dummy.

Oh, Trinkle, you said you don't want to use up all your power. And I'm sorry, I'm from another world. And I don't really know how sorcerers work. Do you have like a limited amount of magic? Well, I'm so new to the whole wizarding. I'm sorry, I didn't want to say that. That's all right. I'm just so nervous. I understand, I'm so new to the whole wizardy not wish I'm sorry. I didn't want to say that that's all I'm just so nervous I understand I understand I'm new to sorcery and as far as I can tell I've got about 10 spells You got about 10 spells about I got about 10 spells in me

Sorry every month you get 10 oh I see some of a recharge situation and if you go over Maybe you can do something. Oh, I see you couldn't get a situation where you get 10. Oh, I see. So it's of a recharge situation. And if you go over, maybe you can do something. No roll over. Oh, I see. You couldn't get a situation where you do 10 spells and then you can kind of do a match for that but your spells are throttled a little bit. You can, well, that kind of, you can, you know,

if I was to do the hat thing. Yeah. And I had two left. I'd probably make two small hats. Yeah. Oh, okay. That I could make two more. Can your friends or family do spells?

They don't have the book. Oh, you have a sorcery book. I have a sorcery book. Oh, see that's the thing about Why you run out of spells and you have the book you have to put a little bookmark to get in there and that's your That's the slot where your spell goes in so you have these spell slots in the book and you want you to use them up You have to wait right this is from the clutch series It's on the side of the book it comes with a wand. Oh, you have to wait. Right, this is from the Clutch series. Yeah. On the side of the book it comes with a wand. Oh, that's very nice. I have lost.

I've lost the wand. I lost, so I'm now using this whole, I'm the Icym Irobe here somewhere. Oh, okay. He's pulling out a lot of miscellaneous. Oh, no, grab that? Oh yeah, I gotta give him. Don't squeeze him too hard. Here we go, I'm using an old fiddle bow. Oh, that's a good idea.

I got it from one of the August outside. Oh, beautiful. Yeah, that one has a lot of personnel. How did you ask for that fiddle bow? That one I just took. Oh, okay. Stole it. Oh, okay.

I'm very good. Stealing is magic. Where once you had nothing, now you have something. That's pretty good. In a blink of an eye. Yeah, that. Very good. Stealing his magic. Where once you had nothing, now you have something. That's pretty good. You know, blink of an eye. Yeah, that's pretty good. Trinko, what has caused you to come here and join this great army with the purpose of destroying evil?

Well, I wanted to just ask you guys if you needed any help. Oh, we do. We do indeed. For there are many tasks before us. We must collect the pages of the book of sight. We must march on the dark lords fortress and tear it down and stand naked over his corpse. No. I'm sorry. What did you say, the only? I have to stand naked over his corpse once the dark lords

is defeated. Okay. Good. Have to? Yeah, of course. You want to. Well, once I defeat the dark lords, I assumed that I'll ascend back to the heavens. And I don't want to. Well, once I defeat the Dark Lord, I assumed that I'll ascend it back to the heavens. And I don't want to take my hat with me. Oh, speaking of the hat, did we ever have you, are you fucking terminate? I kicked it over a little while. Okay, can we see you, let's see, here I'm gonna set this vase up on this shelf

over here in the tent. Why don't you, yeah, I wanna see something shoot out of your hands. Sure, let me see if I can just get this going here. Whenever you're ready. Mischievous, time of fusion. Oh, wow. Oh, that was a frog. I had a high velocity that just smashed the belly.

Yeah, I should have conjured up a helmet for that frog. Yeah, very impressive. You really wound up on that. So, definitely had to do it. So, wait, a tiger is your familiar, but I haven't seen a tiger anywhere, but you're just like overflowing with frogs. I have a frog.

They don't necessarily have to be in the same place at all times, just because you have a familiar doesn't mean you have to be attached to the hip. Right, and you can see on my arm here I drew a couple stripes. Oh. So the tiger's more of your acquaintance. The tiger's more of a... Yeah, that stripes I have in my arm. They couple stripes. Oh. So the tiger's more of your acquaintance. The tiger's more of a... Yeah, they're stripes I have in my area. They're familiar.

Oh. Okay. They met each other. They're not the best of friends. Yeah, they don't need to go to each other's birthday party. Oh, yeah. It's like, oh hey, do you know that tiger? I'm familiar. But I'm more of a frog.

Yeah. Oh, and Tringle, have you played a birthday? Thank you very much. What'd you do anything funny? I went to Tringle. Have you played a birthday? Thank you very much. What you do, anything funny? I went to a spa. Oh. Oddly enough, erotically enough, I went to a mud bath. Just, you know, I wanted to feel myself.

Yeah, that's fun. I wanted to treat myself. I should say, I'm feeling you. Feeling myself. And the spa was called erotically enough? No. That's not what I want to get into. There's a singer out there, a singer saw in the one

that you are singing a feel in yourself song. Oh, she's feeling it. She's feeling it. Yeah, whoo, I like that. Now, before you got into magic, did you consider any other careers before you became a sorcerer? I wanted to be a prologue farmer. Oh, that makes sense.

Oh, okay. And at one point, I did want to make shoes. Well, that would be perfect for you because you don't have a pair. Well, yeah, that would have been perfect. Yeah. What is your sister wearing on her feet now? She's now, well, she's wearing a bag on both feet. Oh, that's something around it.

Well, look at the same bag. She's in a bag. Yeah. How fortunate for you that you have met Yusadar on this day for I have no limitation of spell slots. and I, Chanel Conjure, for both you and your sister a pair of shoes each. What size are your sister's feet? She's a size bigger than me.

The size bigger than me. You're really swimming around down there. Alright. The size hurt, this is her size. Right here, you're looking at it. I see now. Could we, could I am in this spell? Yes, of course.

I do like these shoes, I like the style. Oh, you like the shoes? I amend this spell just like? Yes, of course. I do like these shoes, I like the style. Oh, you like the shoes? Could you just make these smaller? Yes, of course. Wait, your spells can be amended? You said that they were hard and fast. You said when the old wizards wrote those spells, they cannot be amended. Well, I have some flexibility.

I cannot make a spell where I shoot lightning into a spell where I conjured chickens out of nothing I have to use the conjuring chickens out of nothing spell Okay, and so it's real picking cheese, all right. I'm sorry. Well, Comtophon, ah, kai-ya-ya-ba! Did I spit that out? You feel a lot better. Oh, and the shoes have a little bit of sex on them. Well, and now let's conjure up her shoes for your sister Oh, and the shoes have a little bit of a good start. Well, now let's conjure up hair of shoes for your sister. Zip!

Oh, great, she's gonna love these. Could you conjure up a knapsack too, that I could put them in the carry? Oh, sure, could sort of like a bendable? Oh, sort of a backpack. Okay, great. Turn off the wall, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. No.

Is that good? Is that you like that? That color? It's fine. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you see that? Did you guys see that? I don't think he likes it. He's jotting down you sit or spells.

Well, I've just, I've tried any sorcerer that he just spells. And you get him where you can. I, you know, this clutch book is a goal that takes me so far. This guy's stealing your shit. What, I'm just stealing your material. We're all here, boon companions in this army

working together for a common purpose. So I simply want to aid him in any way that I can I would tell everyone where I did what I got from Oh you would source okay, you would sort through it. That's why I'm a sure I'm just trying to get my brand out there The source or is nothing but someone who steals the spells and tells people they got from Also, you know like making a backpack with magic. This is an idea you would kind of come to naturally. It could just be like parallel magic creation, you know. Oh, very true. Doesn't mean that he got that idea from the fact that he just saw that right now.

Right, right. So we were all talking about backpack. I was thinking about doing that anyway. It was just there on the zeitgeist. Yeah. Aren't you called that an answer bug life situation? Isn't that what you said? Yeah, yeah, it's an aunt or you can't. What was the other phrase you

used in Armageddon deep impact situation? Yes. You know, or a mind of men see a situation that is true. You know, I have an on mic voice and an off mic voice. I really, I have more of a staccato way of talking. I got to concentrate real hard to like have the lush tones that I have during this podcast. Oh, this is kind of awkward. I feel like Dringle, we still haven't seen any magic. So you kicked over the hat, you threw a frog at the edge. You just wrote down a spell. Right. Yeah. Oh, can we see that what was the hand bolts? Yeah. Sure. Oh, I guess

I'm using bolts. What do you shoot as your hand? A laser. Oh, okay. Oh! Right. A hot green laser. Hot green laser. Wow, that's a major laser.

What can we hit with a hot green laser in this room? Oh, why don't you shoot it directly in my face? Sure. Just so you know, and everyone knows, this will burn your eyeballs. Oh, no. The user's basically dead. It'll grow right back. It's fine. Okay. Here we go. This will burn your eyeballs. Ah, now the user's been able to tell you. Now your head!

It'll grow right back, it's fine. Okay, here we go. Let me just get the spell here. Let me give you a quick here. Arche de sero dato pida su su. You hear it comes. Okay. Oh, yes!

Oh, that was very good. And that is a spell where you do have to say here it comes Because it could hurt you And used to or why is your eye not growing back? Oh, it's melted out. It'll take a little time to grow back I think it'll be alright. So is that real was that an actual hot green laser? Oh, that was a hot green laser right? Okay, there you go. Wow. Okay. That's my best one of them. That's just how is I go your socket still kind of glowing green I think it's all got some laser in there. Still got some laser in there? I have to go to look at it and perhaps cast my own spell on.

So, you know, a little drop of allo should take you. Oh, okay, allo. Good to know. Good to know. Trinkle, how many spells have you done already this month? Uh, that will, though, that's one, and I threw the frog at the... Well, that is a count of four. I don't think that counts. That doesn't count, so I've got about, uh, eight left. Oh! Okay, that's one and I threw the frog at the... Well, that is the count as well. I don't think that counts. That doesn't count, so I've got about eight left. Oh, okay, that's good. Wait, you have 10.

It did one. You haven't seen all my spell. Oh, okay, good, good, good. Well, why don't we take a quick break? Sure, yeah. And we'll come back with more Tringle this time. Yeah, Tringle. Tringle, what am I saying?

You're saying Tringle, but I, he's so polite, that he's never corrected. Oh, a certain point, it was Tinkle. Oh, a Tinkle? Oh my saying you're saying Tringle, but I eat so polite that he's never corrected. Oh certain boy. It was tinkle Oh, it's inco oh my you know what I've got her I've you know what I realized we've all said your name I don't know that you've ever said your name. Yeah, what's your name? It's Terry Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry mentioned your sister a couple times. Is your sister in the army camp as well? She's right, yeah, she's a few tents down. Oh wow!

She's probably moved away from that. Last time I saw her, she was a few tents. She runs the coffee cart. Oh! Oh, that runs, she owns it. Oh, so she's not a sorcerer like you are. You're not from a family of sorcerers. No, no, she decided to go into coffee.

Oh, she's a Robeen mistress. A toy way to put it. How would you put it? I would put it, she runs the best damn coffee cart here in the camp. And that's the name of it? No, it's delicious coffee. Oh, okay.

Oh, well, your sister's a delicious... I'm a, I'm a delicious brother. Oh, I love Melissa. She's a delight. She's great. She's so's brother. Oh, I love Melissa. She's a delight. She's great. She's so kind. She makes the best muffins. She's wrong.

Can I tell you? I shouldn't be telling you guys. This is a, where is this going to end up? Oh, you know, I guess you don't know. From my world. I do understand it as being recorded. Yeah. I've been trying to explain to everybody in Can.

I just sort of, yeah. From my world, like these are, I guess we we could say there these magical sticks that we're talking and Okay, this being recorded. We just call it like a book. Oh, okay Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, and can I say for coming into the tent not knowing what was going on You were up on that mic perfect. I know I shall if you do it I got I don't want to be an outcast. I do like it maybe you and Tudor did what to do so well fake it till you make it natural I mean I've been doing this thing for four and a half years and I've gone off my mic a couple times.

I shouldn't do that. So this is, so we speak into these and what happened? Well, so via magic and Wi-Fi technology, which I'd be lying if I said I understood how it works, this is being sent to another dimension, to another world. Okay. Arnie here is from another world. Wow.

A world called Earth, where instead of magic, they have strange technological wonders, and they have these boxes that capture images and show them back, and apparently season one of fringes isn't so great, but it gets better. Oh yeah. Is that true? Oh my gosh, don't get me started on fring. Season one isn't great, but it gets better. Oh, yeah, is that true? Oh my gosh

Don't get me started on fringe season one isn't great, but then also the last season's pretty bad But you know what if you're all right with something starting bad and ending bad, but it's good in the middle They keep listening to the show exactly. So you're from earth is that's a different Is that a anything like middle earth? Oh?. Okay, middle earth. Where's middle earth? Middle earth is, you'd have to find a map. We see there are layers of ground. Yeah, there's top soil. Top soil, top earth, middle earth, and bottom earth.

And then a hot molten core, much as the discarded eyeball, which was once in this socket here. So this is being broadcast? Yeah, this is being sent to my world, a world of content. Oh, that's interesting. Lots of people will be half listening to this while they drive or dishes or.

You know, it would be a fun sort of usage of something like this. Oh, here we go. Is if a comedian got together and put up something in his garage or something, anywhere he had speech-based. And started interviewing other comedians. And then I don't know, as he got bigger and bigger,

he started doing interviewing what on one musicians or world leaders. But wait, wait, wait, why would a comedian interview musicians? Well, I get the comedians interviewing comedians. After a wait, why would a comedian interview musicians? Right, get the comedians interviewer and comedians. After a while, it would get to be the point where, geez, I gotta start spreading out. Oh, I see. Getting a bigger audience.

Yeah, that makes sense, I guess. I mean, I did, just maybe. But, you know, this hypothetical person, I'd love to have them on this podcast. Oh, but you know what, that's such a great idea. I'm really very hyper focused on this podcast, but I'm not against spin-offs, and you know, we have a wizard and a sorcerer here,

and I just love it when people talk shop. Like maybe we could try out Terry's idea. This is our garage, so to speak. Arnie, what the fuck? I just wanna hear a sorcerer and a wizard kinda just talk shop and a laid back, kinda like we seein' it it all stories from the road. Many you do this every guest is gonna pitch their own podcast.

Pretty soon we won't be able to use the equipment. Oh, yeah. All kinds of booking problems, like scheduling. And it's like, oh god, we're now we're always recording late at night. Okay, we'll do one episode, but there has to be a time limit. Okay, okay. All right. All right, I suppose we're stuck. What the fuck guys? Do one episode, but there has to be a time limit. Okay. Okay. Alright.

I suppose we're- What the fuck guys? Get started. We're doing a new show. Alright, start the clock. Okay. Are we recording? This is- this is Yusudah.

And welcome to- Contrary now, I'm here today with... Trumble or Trinkle or Tinkle. Yusudor Tringle or Terry. Slow it down. You're racing too fast. All right, yeah. As I want to talk to you today about...

Magical a little bit, but before we get into that, with our guest, Terry, that's striped, I have a sparrow living in my hat right now. I love that sparrow very much. It takes a lot from my time, but then I think about, I'm going on all these editions. Skip it. I'm not getting the things. Yeah, shall I grew up with Malaysia, was my sister, and my parents, Lyndon, Chevy. Do you ever sent them all? I could get along with them fine. Well, I just assume that you must hate people.

It's a little logical conclusion to come to. Well, it's not for me. All right, I suppose each their own. Well, that was a good app. Yeah! I think, you know, I just like hearing magic people talk about magic people. It's just like picking apart like how it works. Oh I forgot the last part. What's your favorite spell? I do like the one where I put a hat on a frog. Makes sense. I would like to do that one. Oh yes, still working on it. I haven't even attempted. Oh well I really like freezing spells. It's fun to use again later. Yes. Yeah, it extends the shelf life of this spell

Yeah, put it on ice wait for later Terry. We're going to Trying to feed the Dark Lord. I heard that was right. I was shoved in here. Yeah, we were just curious I was shocked in here. We were just curious. What can you provide for us in terms of? We now have this army of 40,000 some creative artists. Are you willing to? Let's call it United Artists. United Artists.

And we are hoping that you might be able to be a boon to us. Well, sure, like I said, I could use my laser spell. Yeah, what's the range on that? Like 25 to 80 feet. That's about 25 to 80 yards. Okay. Huh, so you gotta get. I gotta get pretty close.

Yeah, okay. Well, what do you like? But I can, like I said, I can fly. Oh! What do you say? I'm not telling you that. Oh, you mumbled something. No, you mumbled something. No no skip to head and you missed it. Oh

Sorry, oh sure I could fly all around yeah, we skip right to Linda and Chavish Sometimes you know you think you're skipping an ad or something and you go a little too far You like should I go back? No, I can't I'm not gonna go back the only thing I don't know if this would help you with your army or not, but when I do fly I turn Invincible That would help Yes, where is this? Why would you ever not be flying? I don't know you see you're so excited about me knocking the vase over you really buried the way I mean we were just fucking being polite

Yeah, it's just that one of those things This is the most powerful being we've met so far Oh, cool And when I do fly and turn in, invincible, all my powers sort of reboot. So I co-beck of, you know, I mentioned the 10. Come on. Really?

What's wrong with that? It seems perfectly logical to me. Once you're off the ground, you're invincible and you get all your power back. It's in the clutch book. In the, yeah. But you don't want to fly everywhere. It's ostentatious.

Because you know, all your friends can't't fly so you want to walk around with it You want to look like a jerk some sort of sorcerer jerk you live a pretty lonely life of you Are the only one flyer out before ever we got it. I hope this question doesn't seem insensitive But when you're flying and invincible and and frankly a better version of yourself Does your weird voice change Arnie? That was rude weird. I mean, I've got a weird voice change? Arnie. That was rude. Weird? I mean, I've got a weird voice, so I feel like I can say that.

Well, I, you know, and I was shoved into this tent to talk to you three. I'm sorry, it didn't really like someone shoved you. Yeah, I thought we had invited. Also, let it go. I was shoved from the time I was summoned from my tent. Yeah. All the way here, just sort of constant pushing shoving. If you were shoved all the way to this tent, shoved into the tent,

and earlier, somebody shoved you in the mud for grabbing their sword, at some point, it's you. Well, I'm not, it was. Is it possible? I'm not well-liked. Is it possible you accidentally stumbled into, like, a massage circle? It's possible. It's not plausible, but it's possible.

Yeah. Yeah, I will say, just to pick you back on Arnie, it was rude, but you do kind of sound like, do you know Jimmy the steward? There's a little bit of that mixed in there. Your voice isn't befitting of your power. I don't know, he's got a certain kind of quiet decency that I find appealing. That's just because I don't like to yell.

I've got very sensitive ears. I see. Oh, you saw her let that one go. Why would I say anything about that? Oh, he just said he doesn't like to yell. Oh, he's just said he doesn't like to yell and He doesn't like to yell. That's his business. Oh, yeah, but sometimes a wizard must speak aloud So that all can hear he is gonna run to those proclamations as I strive forth into the camp to teach all Hey Terry. Yes. Hey, hey, all right. You know, I see why people do it.

I'm sorry, I'm sort of invited. You know, don't do that again or I'll have a while. So Terry, you mentioned you also have a brother named Chevy. I think it's that one's Chevy. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. I mean, there was a Chevy Jr. Oh.

But he, I don't want to, you don't want to know what happened to him. Oh, I mean, was a Chevy junior. Oh, but he I don't want you don't know what happened to him Oh, I mean All right, if you want to he fell on to a stalagmite. Oh Oh my god. Yeah, he was help he was there was when he got that was getting the clutch book for me Oh, yeah, so I sort of all all my sorcery to yeah, so as the ground is Littin with their bodies and my heels upon each of the next What what I was just a proclaiming all the things I was going to do. Oh, okay. What what did Linda and Chevy do? Lending also sorcerers. No, my Chevy was he sold the caught wheels. He sold cartwheels Wheels for cuts cut He sold cart wheels. He sold cart wheels. Wheels. Oh, wheels for carts?

Cart. Cart. Oh, carts. Oh, carts. Car wheels. I can never say, cut, cut. It's just one of those words I can never say. Cut.

Well, often cart wheels sales people. Wheels do a side business where they do so wheels for cuts But they're less popular because often people are upset when they wake up and they've Rolled say into the street or into a nearby river Although some people like it I say teach their own and you need any cot wheels. No, I'm good I mean, I'd say good. Why did you ask the question? Oh, but what if you took a cot wheel and you like put stickers on it and just like ref did up and souped it up. Ooh, cot wheels. Cot wheels, that's catchy.

I love it. Cot wheels. Cot wheels. Sleeping away. Is that something? It is. What did Linda do? She read a garden in New York.

Ooh. She showed the travels and mostly travels. But she's saying towels? Travel. Travel. She would tell towels. It's like a travel town. What's a travel? She showed the travels and mostly travels, but she's saying towels, travel, travel She would tell towels like a travel town. What's a travel a little a little a shovel. Oh, okay Just say that clay pots and that sort of thing. I assume you're sure she had those were a mail order So she sold all the paraphernalia, but none of the plants themselves. She told a few seeds a few seeds Right, that's interesting. So how did you get into sorcery?

I had gotten into it because I was sort of just born out of my mind. I Were born out of your mind. Well, that's all of a sudden you Ever since I shoved him I don't want to listen to Yeah, I know I'm this close to throwing it It's just sort of throwing it in front of you. It's just sort of throwing it all through. Well, Terry, the striped, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me.

Before you became a source for, like, what's your last name? Other than the striped, you're short of my. Yeah. Yeah, whoon. Terry whoon. H-O-O-N. Oh, that's great, Terry. Whoon.

Terry, the striped whoon? Terry, the striped whom? Terry, the striped whom. And put the striped in. Oh, okay, okay, that's good to know. Yeah, again, you're the first sorcerer that I've ever met. And, you know, I also, if I have said anything sort of insensitive or insulting to you, I really apologize.

I didn't realize you were capable of being really powerful. Oh, no, I understand you're sort of trembling now. Yeah, yeah, I'm not Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I just also wouldn't apologize if I say anything offensive or like I didn't hear you for the last 10 minutes I just feel like your personality doesn't match your power It was something about you or it's like it's mostly just the shove that I had to probably That's fair. That's fair. Yeah, we're sorry. We like you don't be mad. Don't kill us. Don't fly into the air You can't really put your hands on me. Yeah, yeah.

Shit. Well, yeah. I don't want to say that loud. I don't want to say that loud. Anyway, let's do a quick email here. Yeah, if you are listening on Earth, you can send us an email at Magic Tavern at puppies.supplies. It's a really email address. It was all I was able to get. Here's one with a subject line.'s salmon polo just wondering if it survived if it did Why though? Hmm, that's a little bit rude from Kyle. This is I wear a salmon polo that I brought with me from earth It's getting a little dirty, but it's kind of my signature look. It was white when you came here

It was white. I've seen a lot of things and now it's kind of a salmony color. It's the kind of upstream color too. Yeah. Kyle also has a post script here. PS, do they have monster energy there? What do they mean? Did it survive?

I don't quite understand the question. Well, you know, I don't want to dwell on sort of bad things, but you know, we used to be in Hogsface. I don't know Terry if you've heard that all of Hogsface was destroyed, and we kind of snuck out with everyone in Hogsface. We saved everyone. Yeah, and so everyone survived, and that includes my salmon Paula. Why would we give your only shirt behind?

When we saved every person in town, you would just take off your shirt and walk out with naked from the waist up. Take it out. What sort of stupid question is that? and walk out with naked from the waist up. Take it up. What sort of stupid question is that? Take it up with Kyle. I am right now. Kyle, listen to you, Sador. If you dare to send in a question so foolish as this,

know that the wrath of a wizard has been incurred. And Terry, would you mind yelling at this guy? Sure. Kyle, if you don't straighten up, I'm gonna come I'll shoot right into the earth world and uh, I guess take your email away Because it's making everyone upset Yeah, lay it down man Yeah, I'll shut the fuck up Terry bring in the rain, bring in the fame

Terry, it has been a pleasure to meet you It's been fantastic to be here It has been wonderful to exchange these magical thoughts with another practitioner It's been I opening to me. Oh wonderful And if a good luck in the war and if you guys need the the spell book I have oh, yes Oh, yeah, we should call you when you are needed most yeah, we're saying good luck in the war like you're part of our army Right, I feel like you're saying that like you're if you I'll be around oh Unless I'm around the camp unless you booked something else. I don't have in book that anything

I tried to you know me. Yeah, it's it's tough The casting people here. They don't read well. I know I'm busty my hump I'm just like getting nothing back and if you get in there and it's all of a sudden It doesn't feel like it does when you were in a tent doing. I know can I also say that the casters don't know what they're looking for Maybe they don't know what they want. I they say that the casters don't know what they're looking for or maybe? They don't know what they want. They don't know what they want. Yeah.

And you bring it something, you try to do something new and they say just do it more real and do what it is. Terry, the striped hoon, is there a way if we need you, can we signal for you? Is there something we can do or say or put it into the night sky or there's a lantern that you can, you put a candle in and it shoots a beam of light and there's sort of something cut out it looks like a bat oh sort of a bat signal up in the air that is this lantern here right there's one that's clearly a frog it's green so this green quote unquote lantern here sure put that up either

way okay if it kind of vice- you anything of this guy I'll come I'm just saying yes and it is a frog Maybe I do want to clarify you'll answer to anything you see in the sky any bright light this guy I want to check it out good to know and we do have monster energy. Oh Yeah, sorry Sorry to ignore the interesting part of your email. Just checking the listener presence read out here and yes, Kyle never heard the answer to his question as he had logged off for a healthy afternoon of stand-up paddle boarding, 11 seconds into the episode.

Way to live Kyle. Usual The Wizard was played by Matt Young. Chant The Shape Shifter was played by Adel Raffaie. Trinkle The Sorcerer was played by special guest Mike Hanford. His band The Sloppy Boys will be playing in Chicago October 12th and 13th. In Seattle November 10th, and in Portland November 11th. For links to get tickets, check out the Sloppy Boys, Instagram, or Twitter pages.

Oh, also he'll be doing stand-up in LA at UCB Franklin on September 24th. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Neacamp, Matt Young, and Adolf Refy, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz, earwolf producer Kimmy Lucas. This episode edited by Stefan Drainjer. Species Armistice by Ryan DeGeorgie? What the hell is- oh, special assistance by Ryan DeGeorgie.

Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Adler LeBam, Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. Arnie Samen shirt provided by Shellsteen's semi-casual hostware. There's a time when every man has to get serious. Until that day, shop with Shellsteen.