Hello From The Magic Tavern - Season 4, Ep 14 - Usidore's Death Bed

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

The time has come for Usidore to fake his death. Arnie and Chunt are feeling surprisingly emotional about it. Alternate title: DS Time.CreditsArnie: Arnie NiekampChunt: Adal RifaiUsidore: Matt YoungMysterious Man: Tim SniffenProducers: Arnie Niekamp, Matt Young, and Adal RifaiPost-Production Coordination: Garrett SchultzEditor: Anna HavermannSpecial Assistance: Ryan DiGiorgiMagic Tavern Logo: Allard LabanTheme Music: Andy PolandYou can support the show directly and receive bonus episodes and rewards by joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/magictavern for only $5 per month. Follow us on Twitter and Instagram, and now Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you're just joining us when we last left off, no, I'm not doing that. Can you imagine which would come first to full recap of how we got to this moment or the heat death of the universe? Well the next heat death of the universe. I've seen a few and the thing is if you dress for it, they're not bad. Layers. It's all about layers. Hey, something I should say is that this episode has a lot of talk of someone being on their deathbed. So, you know, if that's not where you're at, I'm gonna say something that feels so right and tell you feel free to skip. Just this once. Of course, the subject will be given all the gravitas and thoughtful consideration we give every subject. So, you know, figure that in. But probably skip.

Let's say you'll never regret skipping this podcast. I don't. But if you're still here, bravo! You don't know how warnings and red flags work and you're gonna do great on Tinder. Now, sit back and enjoy the show. Hello from the Magic Tavern! A weekly podcast from the magical land of fune, I'm your host Arnie Neckamp. If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know. About 6 years and 10 months ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fume. Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional

rift, and I used that to upload this podcast recorded here in the tavern, the Strange Familiar, in the town of nibble bottom, at the base of the Unnamable Mountain in the magical land of fume, and I'm joined, as always, by my only co-host, Chump the Talking Badger. Get wet! How you doing, buddy? I'm doing good. I, by my only co-host, Chump the Talking Badger. Get wit! How you doin' buddy? I'm doin' good, I have a question for you. Now this time, I don't know if you always say this or if this is the first time

because I kinda tune out if I'm being honest. You said you fell through a dimensional rift. I thought you always said into a dimensional rift. So, did you fall downward? Did you walk through? Did you walk through? Did you fall upwards? What was that like for you? It was crazy.

Like, because I've never fallen through a hole. You've never fallen through a hole. I don't think so. I don't think so. I fell into a hole. Well, yeah, but here's the thing. This is no normal hole. This was a hole between realities.

And so on the other side, it was just like, I'm falling a little bit, and then I landed on the ground. Okay, and can you describe for me and for the listeners what falling a little bit means? That to you. Okay, so you know what falling is like? Yeah, but now just a little bit of that. So tripping?

Did you trip into a portal? I did, I tripped into a portal. Oh, okay. But it wasn't easy, it was kind of like I sort of fell in and I was like wedged in for a second. I was like, oh wait, maybe I can get out and then, I just kind of like slipped through and then, wait what was that slurping sound? I still have my drink with me.

Oh, I thought you sucked your own dick. No, God, I wish, you know what? So I haven't found that magic. Um, you know, this might be a bold statement. I think I'd almost rather fall than trip. Because when I fall, people are always like, are you okay? But when I trip, people are like, ha ha, look at this dumb ass. Yeah. So anytime I start to fall, even just a little bit, I almost pray that I keep going, and it's a full-on fall fall because tripping is the most embarrassing thing you can do. Yeah. I mean I guess I always thought that I was sort of lucky that I don't know that anyone saw me trip and fall when I was in the Burger King parking lot. I never let me think about it for

the last six years and ten months. It has kind of been a lot of ha ha look at that dumbass. Sorry if I'm being full of questions today. weren't you driving a car? How do you trip in a car? I mean, I've heard of a road trip. Is that what that means? Is that your car starts to fall and then kind of writes itself and everybody laughs at the car?

Oh, I'm sorry. I tripped inside my car. Oh, so you were standing up. Mm-hmm. And then the car, I know. Were you booping? You were booping in your car. Well, no, I didn't say that.

I did not say that. OK. Look, it, I didn't say that, I did not say that. Okay. Look, it made a lot of sense, but you know what? Dimensions, you know, you can't just say, hold on, you can't just say, look, it made a lot of sense and then blaze forward. That's not how stories work, my man. No, shut it, seriously, try it sometime.

Seriously, if something doesn't make sense, just go, ah, it really made a lot of sense. Okay. That's like one time I was hiding out in the back of the wagon and there's like a covered tarp over it and I was amongst all these barrels and then, it all made sense.

You suck your own dick. It all made sense. Yep, I figured. I figured I had to sheep sheep some of my ribs away. Oh, really? Yeah, I have a small dick It's not a secret. I don't wear pants. Turnward recording. Oh, I know it all made sense Look, this is the kind of conversation that you Commonly have right before going to see a dying friend. Yeah, I think that's why I'm so frazzled and why I'm just like laying all these truths bare

is like, I think I'm so emotional that I'll just say anything and I'm almost like lashing out verbally and like poking holes in your origin story just because I'm so sad. It is a solemn day and yes, it's completely a sham because it's not really happening, but we are very method, me and you.

And so we are getting into this space of like our friend, Yusador. He told everyone he was going to die today. So we have to believe that we're going to lose him forever. Yeah. It's a very solemn day. It's very somber day. Mm-hmm. It's a very solemn day. It's very somber day. It's a very sad day. A lot of sad words start with S.

Even sad. Yeah, so very. Have you considered, we could do like 90% of the episode here, just me and you, and then the last couple of minutes we could go into use. It works. Like how much time? How much time do we want to spend on that?

I mean, I guess it's a little as possible. Yeah. Well, okay, well, should we, what should we do for the next 50 minutes or so? You know, now I'm thinking like, what are we gonna title this episode? Like we could title it use it or is deathbed or we could title it something like.

Road trip, road trip, because you trip in your card, be good. I was thinking like Dick Suckin' Time and eventually D-H-S-T. D-S-T. What time is it? N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N. Stop. Okay, look, look, we promised you, stormy, stormy,

we promised you, stormy, we promised you. And he's probably nervous. He's probably nervous. He's probably so nervous. Cause he's got a pretend to die. Sorry if I'm just repeating you, I realized that a lot of my personality is reactionary to you said to him.

And without him here, I just have to like kind of latch onto what you're saying. Yeah, and I just have to latch onto what you're saying. And you know what I do the same thing because I'm just gonna latch onto what you're saying. Yeah, and I just have to latch onto what you're saying. I just have to latch onto what you're saying. And you know what I do the same thing because I'm just gonna latch onto what you're saying. I'm just gonna latch onto what you're saying. Oh, shit, no, shit. I'm realizing.

Hey, pardon me, pardon me. Yeah. Oh, fuck, come up there for a second. Oh, look at that little termite. Yeah, okay. He's gonna, he's gonna, he's gonna eat our table. It's our table's made of, oh, what?

And pardon me, if I come up there for a second. Yeah, I guess please do, because I guess we'd rather He's gonna eat our table. It's her tail is made of... What? And pop me mine if I come up there for a second. Yeah, I guess please do, because I guess we'd rather have the termite at the top of the tall table than the bottom. And the bottom, because it'll fall. Yeah, yeah, come on up, buddy. It totally makes sense. Hello, hello. Hello. This is a lovely table you've got here.

How the fuck did you get up here so fast? That was a fast termite. I can fly with my little termite wings. Hold up, hold up. Termites can fucking fly? Yeah, that's right, I'll fly right up here. Why are we not panicked about termites daily? They're worse than spiders.

I know, but you know, this is a magical world. On my world, Earth termites don't do that. Oh, okay. Thank nothing you got away about, Governor. I'm a perfectly kind and generous termite my own way, but I was wondering if you have a bit of what this bear. Ah, well, let's see here. Let me look around the table.

I guess these napkin holders are wooden, but they have a bit of a finisher glaze on them. Oh, man, man, I'll take a few napkins, oldies? Sorry, napkin, what? Oldies? You want the oldest napkin? I guess this one's been here about a week and a half. No, friend, you said there, you got a napkin, oldie,

and I was going to eat that napkin, oldie, because it's made of wood. Oh, hey, Arnie. Yeah, I think I know what's going on. I think this termite has a cockering accent. Have you heard of that? There's a region of food called, there's a region of food that's called Ringland. It's people who are just obsessed with rings. Jolly old Ringland, yeah. Yes, and a lot of the lower class, I don't know how to say that politely. Lower class sounds awful.

Do people in Earth say lower class? No. Okay, good, because even just saying it, I'm like lower class, what a fucking terrible phrase. So let's fix this now. It's not lower class. The people who are don't have... Or working class?

Working class is great. The working class, they have this accent, it's called the Conquering accent. They're constantly dropping letters So to them a potato might be a oh a oh Right or you go away. Oh One second friend will be with you. You know see I feel like that name is ironic because I feel like a conquering accent Would mean that I would not drop a letter for a very long time. Like that letter would just stay up in the word.

Like you think all the blood would rush to the word. And it would stand toward. Torred, torred? Torred. Forred, torred? But yeah, I think that's where this guy's at. Excuse me, friend. Yeah, well, I have you with Grubner.

And don't mind us, we were just talking about your accent and what class you are. Oh, yeah, it's all right. But you go on. And don't mind us, we were just talking about your accent and what class you are. Oh, that's alright. But you go on. Are you from Ringland? Oh, yeah, absolutely. You noticed my cock-gring accent. Mm-hmm.

Yes, we did. One of the things about a cock-gring accent is that whenever people start talking about suck-a-need-vacus-dicks, I come running along and I think to myself, oh there's a cock that's gonna have a ring around it. Lucky cock it must be engaged. And I'm assuming you're from the Capitol Undone? I am, I am indeed, sir. I'm just wondering if you have a little piece of wood

you and more sharing with me that I might have something to eat today. Of course Arnie, the Capitol of Ringland is undone. So would you and Maan share with me that I might have something to eat today? Of course Arnie, the capital of Ringland is undone as in everyone from there their zippers are undone. I'm so it's best to put a ring on it. If you like it, you know, if you like it, you put a ring on it. Sure sure. If you like it, you put a ring on it.

Yeah, well that's what I just said. That's what Audrey said. Oh fuck, there's three of us now that are all just piggybacking off each other Picking the back of each other Three of us baking backing on top of each other. Is that bacon on a bacon a little bake just a bacon on a little bacon a big It's not a bacon. Oh friend here. Go ahead and eat this napkin room John What oh wait wow I was talking to you and I didn't see that at all I am. John, there's something. I'm not a something. What? Oh, wait.

Wow, I was talking to you and I didn't see that at all. I was gonna say, oh, now he's eating. What, what, what, what was eating? Now, with you, Sordine, we can't have monopod cast anymore because everyone is gonna think that he's dead. I'm gonna stop you in your tracks right now. I do not want this termite on the podcast. It's the whole time host. Oh, no.

Because we're already recording and I am not going to edit this out. Can you imagine that suddenly we have to change our merch to where it says, hello, I'm the agic Evan. Like shit like that. Like it and Uts. Nobody wants to listen to it and Uuts? But, but hear me out. What? Cochering merch opportunities. Oh no, my dream. Who doesn't want to buy a Cochering that has a picture of an insect on it?

Oh man, our listeners could walk around town and just be like, I'm Johnny Cochering. Like, look at me, I got personalized. Oh, this is such a good opportunity. Oh, Arnie, is this episode too filthy from the good go? It might be. Should we pull the reins on that? Maybe, I mean, we do have to remember,

this is just us acting out because we don't have to deal with our real emotions that we're pretending to have for the sham, pretending to have for the sham wake. Oh, sham wake, I like the name of that. Okay, so instead Arnie we've gone blue for so long in this episode. Let's do the opposite and that will balance it out. Let's go red. Hey, termite you fucking communist. What? Hey, what's all that in? I'm sorry, Fred. I'm just trying to balance out the episode. Arnie get mad or talk about something. Oh,

I got mad. I'm talking about something. But, oh boy. A friend, we didn't catch your name. What's your name? Hardwood fuck buddy. Is that a family name? All right. Already every name is a family name. You idiot.

OK. What kind of name is that? Please. Would you just tell me all the names in your family? No, Arnie, we're trying to avoid going blue. His name is Hardwood Fuck Buddy, okay? It's just gonna be a long vulgar list of names,

and we're not gonna bounce out this episode. That's why we need Yusador. Yusador the blue, right? He doesn't necessarily go blue. He typically is just full of wonder and excitement. So we need someone unlike this termite, this termite is just going blue and you and I do that enough. Do you want someone to even out abounds us?

Hey, termite, what's the most beautiful day you can think of? Oh, there's nothing like waking up, eating a beautiful piece of wood, just a big long hard piece of wood. But you just shove all the way down your throat. That's a perfect way to start a morning in my mind. Oh, goddesses. Ah, already we gotta... We gotta find someone else.

It's not that dirty. What? Hey, hardwood, fuck buddy. And I'm gonna refer to you about your full name. Thank you. We can't talk about your family now, because we're trying to balance things out. But will you stick around the tavern and maybe after the credits,

just tell us all the people in your family? Oh, absolutely. I've just been hanging out with Roger and Roger and I'll catch up with you a little later, Governor. There are a lot of Rogers. Thanks for the napkin, older. Okay. Ah!

I can find. I can find. He realized after he hit the ground. Okay, well, should we go see our old friend? Yeah, I just realized we could have extracted ourself from that conversation by just saying, I'm so sorry, we have to go watch our friend die. Oh yeah, that's an excuse for us now.

I got a, I don't know if you got this as well, but I got a coroner's note. Oh, already? Mm-hmm. So I, like I was supposed to go play a game today, and I just said, sorry, everybody, I showed up on my notes. And I had, I was supposed to work at the Black and White Smithery today,

and I just put that note on the door, copy the note on the door, so it's kind of useful to have one of those. Do you think so? Yeah. Okay, oh boy. Let's, I guess we've been stalling long enough. All right, let's put our smiles on a big old pile

and let's make sure we look sad and somber. Okay. Can I say honestly? Sorry, I just thought of a joke. What, what? I'd love to hear it. What do you call a blind termite? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Hardwood fuck, buddy. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's pretty good. Yeah, it was right there. Oh, John, be serious, John. But I was just gonna say, I'm not as sweet-looking, I know the news that was just gonna pretend to die, but this is kind of weird. This is affecting me in a weird way.

I don't know. I don't know why. Yeah, I think, you know, we almost lost him before. Remember when he was a vampire? Mm-hmm. And so I think it's, I think it's dredging up a lot of the past. And it's, I'm getting flooded with emotions as well.

And I know we're supposed to fake mourn, but it does feel like it's very on the surface. Like I feel like, I feel like feel like this could be really tough day Yeah, yeah, John. Yeah, don't die Ernie. Yeah, don't die. Don't thank you. Yeah, we need to say that more often. I know all the daily reminder Yeah, we've gone for so long. We've been idiots for so long not telling ourselves not to die in each other not to die And that's why you know, that's why maybe we're in the situation we're in right now.

Yeah, whichever whatever that is. But it all makes perfect sense. Did you say but hold it all makes sense? But it all makes perfect sense. That's our new shirt. Let's see. Sorry, we're, we're see it. I think he's in this side room over here. But before we go in, let's say, let's take a quick break and let's see. Sorry, where's where's he at? I think he's in this side room over here, but before we go in let's say

Let's take a quick break and let's see quick break just Just kind of come those are his house. Here's Here's a thing, John if we do any ad reads during this break, let's be brave and not be upset at all Let's make it sound almost like it was recorded in a different time I know just just really put on an effectation. I'm sitting in the center. The only thing that would give me strength to not be losing my ship is to do like an ad-brake sponsorship. It's so small.

Okay. You said or told us you wanted this receiving room on the side of the tavern so that people could come and say their goodbyes to him, and then he could fake his death. So you're ready to go in here with all these people? Ah, I think so. Can I have something real quick? This might be a dumb question. We can do a whole look, if you need it, if you need it,

we can do a whole another segment here before we go in. Oh, okay. Maybe go like 20, 30, is that okay? Yeah, okay, perfect. But at some point, like 20 or 30 minutes or so, now I'm gonna say, chunt. Yeah. We're gonna have to go to a break. Yes, and then we're gonna go see you,

sit or, or we could kick it to next week. Ooh, maybe I might be more emotionally available next week. Let me check my emotional schedule. Oh, yeah, yeah, let me check my emotional schedule. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, I'm emotionally available on Tuesday and Thursday, after the sun sets, is that okay? After the sunsets?

Yeah. Oh, I'm all out of emotions by the time the sun sets. I just turn off. Okay, we'll do it. I'm like a fucking psychopath. We'll do it today. The psychopath less taken. Arnie, oh, the question was.

Yes. So we all know we're not all of us. You and I, and you said or no, he's gonna fake his own death. My question is, is it as simple as like, he's gonna close his eyes and go, eh, or is he gonna like step on a rake and it's gonna pop a bit, crack him in the skull,

and then he's gonna have like fake magic blood that spills out while he's screaming, like is it gonna be super dramatic, or is he just gonna like slip away? I don't know. He hasn't told me. But I would be willing to bet all the money in the universe that it's dramatic. You told me you didn't have five coin.

I just bought you a drink. You said you didn't have five coin. Now you have all the money in the universe. No, I bet with? Well, I don't. But here's the thing. It's a kind of bet where if against all reason, you said or pretended to die in a subtle way,

yeah, I would be fucked, because I would owe all the money in the universe. And how am I gonna get that? Yeah, okay, now I feel better, but you do owe me a drink. And the interest on that is gotta be out of control. Are you going to wait for the bathroom? Uh, yeah. I mean, I'm always waiting for the bathroom. Even

no matter where I stand, I'm waiting for the bathroom. But this isn't the bathroom. This is the side room. Oh, oh, I thought you were in line for the bathroom. Oh, do you need to use the bathroom? You're just curious. I do need to use the bathroom. Okay, interesting. Yeah, this is how weird guy that just goes around talking people. Yes, go to the bathroom. Oh, yeah. What are you guys up to today? I really need to go to the bathroom. Oh, fun, fun, fun. Yeah, we went to the bathroom earlier. We'll probably go later today. But in the meanwhile, we're about to go together.

Um, we could. We could. Because I need to go now, but I'll all go later. Gotcha. Can I could. Because I need to go now, but I'll need to go later. Can I ask you something as a creature made entirely of roses? Do those petals, are they ever green, or do they sometimes die and they grow back? Well, you see, much like the phoenix, once all of my petals fall off, I burst into a cloud of pollen, and then a single rose grows where I was before, and that grows into another version of me. But I really got a piss.

You got a piss. I'm sorry, this whole time you're talking, I've been plucking some of the roses, just gonna worry about the visit of friends who's not doing so hot. I hope you don't mind. Oh yeah. I don't mind.

As long as we came meet up later to use the restroom. Yeah, should we say, I don't know if the sun goes down? Maybe next Tuesday or Thursday? I just have to warn you, I won't be emotionally available then. Oh, I don't need you to be emotionally available, I just need you to void your bowels or to your innate. Mm-hmm.

Void your bowels. That sounds intense. What's, for sorry, friend, what's your name? My name is Sponkel. Oh, Sponkel. Oh, thank God. Thank God, it's not a nasty dirty blue name. Sponkel, oh wait, Sponkel, off.

Fuck you, Sponkel. Get the fuck out of here. Alright, alright. You almost slipped that one by me. I'll see you next Tuesday after the sign goes down. We'll see. See you later. See you, Sponle. Yeah, hasn't so gross out Has the name uncle in it. Oh, yes

Uncle's are so gross and Okay, so I hear Arnie I have a bouquet of roses for us now. Oh Our roses the death flower. I guess I don't really know. You know what? We were about to go through the door. A walking file of roses came up to me, so I just made it work by man. Hey, what's the phrase? Um, trust me, it all made sense. Mm-hmm.

Trust me it all made perfect sense. Yeah, I'd say we're death flowers. Oh. Oh shit. Oh fuck, Arnie each one of these is a tiny spunkle. Ooh, I'd say we're death flowers. Oh, oh shit. Oh fuck Arnie each one of these is a tiny Sponkle Oh, I ain't saying tiny Sponkle You got uncle all over your hands. Oh, I held a Sponkle it's close to my chest. I got Sponkle I maintain I think that we're a death flower is appropriate for a lot of different occasions romantic or serious So much they're talking to each other and then kissing oh

I'll see you in then kissing. Oh. I'll see you in the back. Oh, they're still thorny. Oh, you're already, you take these. Oh, all right. Okay, were you gonna ask me something before we go in? Oh yeah, I wanted to know, do you think users can just gonna slip away

or is it gonna be like a dramatic death? Oh, just fucking huge. Oh, where are you talked about this? Yeah, yeah. And my mind, he he gonna be like a dramatic death? Like, he- Oh, just fucking huge. Oh, where are you talking about this? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, in my mind, he's gonna be like, look, I'm going to jump rope with a shark. And then, and then we all know what happens next. Like, is it gonna be something like that?

Yeah. Or is he gonna like just whimper and then like, like go, go soft? Hmm. How else can we stall? Stahl. Stahl rhymes with fall. Fall happens in the odd, huh? You guys wanna go can we stall? Stahl, stall rhymes with fall. Yeah, fall happens in the odd.

You guys want to go to the stall? Can I have him a spunkle? Well, don't get out of here, but just stop talking. Okay, I'll be quick. Um, but, but, oh, I have an idea. Mm-hmm. Let's count to 500. Okay.

What? Like, wait, oh, I'm sorry, I need to be around Ross. Like in order to hold on, you need ground rules to count to 500. Oh yeah. Who I'm talking to. Yeah, I know I'm supposed to be quiet, but let's put the brakes on this. Spunkle, you were not going to be a part of this, okay? Two. Okay, okay. Actually, now I'm on board a Spongebob. Three. Four. Already happening anytime. Five.

Six. Five hundred. Fuck. I'm just getting it out of the way. All right, looks like we gotta go in. Oh shit. Okay, uh, Chant, this is, uh, would you mind,

and don't make fun of me for this. Would you mind holding my hand while we go in? Why are you cutting off your hand before we go in this room? No, no, no, no. I mean, like, it's gonna stay attached to me. Like, oh, we'll say that. You're phrasing is so weird sometimes.

So when you phrase things is so weird, and sometimes I think you're from a different planet. I am from a different planet. I'm from a different planet. I say that all the time. You're special, we get it. Look, Junt, now is not the time, okay? Why do you have to do this now?

What do you mean now is not the time? What is today of all of it? You're relishing the fact that we're stalling before. You tricking me into fighting you? It's a stall tactic, okay? Oh, this is a spell. Spongebob, I have a stall tactic.'s not a tag of all stalked things. I have a lot of stalked things.

I'm sure you do. Number one, I'm sure is leaving the door wide open. Yeah, I wonder everyone does. Ah, Arnie, I'm not good. Not today. It's my friend's death day. Okay, on my friend's death day, that's when you start a fight?

On my friend's death day? Like you're some sort of rock star, okay? We're not having it. Okay, we're not doing this today. Let's be somber. Let's be solemn. Let's be sad. The three of us.

Let's be here for you, Sador. Yes. By here, I mean in that other room. In that other room. And no matter how fucking hilarious the spectacle of his death is, we do not laugh. No, we take it serious. We shed tears. We cry. We are inconsolable. Yeah. Okay, here we go. And we're gonna open the door on one, two, five, five hundred.

Well, Arnie. No, I mean we both. We're friends again. We did it. We did it. We're both stupid in the same way. We did it. No, Spongebob. He didn't count this time. Not you. Spongebob.

Not now. Not today. I'm curious if he's ready to spance. Spongebob, are you married to any spants? I'm not married. I've never been married. I would love to be married and complete my true purpose. Huh. And does each one of you, when you get plucked, like I plucked you from your source,

does each one of you have its own sort of personality? Yeah, I'd say each of us is unique in a one way. Okay. Let's test this out. I'm going to name you Sponkle Number 1. What's your favorite food? Uh, macaroni and cheese. Okay, and you to the left, your Sponkle number one. What's your favorite food? Macaroni and cheese. Okay, and you to the left your Sponkle number two. What's your favorite food? Macaroni and cheese. Arnie, they're liar. They're the same one and the team. Oh Oh, late salt. Oh With salt, you said yeah, I like salt to though. Oh, oh shit. They yeah

Yeah, I guess Sponkle two sit salt after like a five second delay And I never gave Sponkle one a five second delay, so I think I cut him off before he could finish You ever had bread. Yeah, everyone's had fucking bread dude No, but like have you ever had bread? It's really good. Oh, wait. Have I ever had bread? You're kind of blowing my mind. But I mean, if you guys have a really had bread, that makes it sound like you're talking about sex. I'm not.

I'm talking about like delicious bread. Yes, I have had bread. Okay, I've had rye, I've had wheat, I've had... Pumpers had rye? Yes. I've only ever had regular. Spunkel, stop trying to entice us into conversation. You're just not equipped.

You're not equipped to hold a conversation. You're too dry. Uh, I disagree. I know lots of stuff about... He's looking around the room. Uh... He's looking around the room. Not table.

Don't say tables. Not the ceiling. Don't say termites. Uh... Don't say shapeshif the ceiling. Don't say termites. Uh. Don't say shapeshifters are humans. Uh, roses. Uh, I guess that makes sense though. You're not so bad.

Here, have some soil. Oh, I'm sorry. It was spunkle. When we were coming down on you kind of hard, we were kind of having a rough day. You know, you said, or the wizard, the feeder of the dark lord, he accomplishes true purpose and he's dying today.

Arnie, that's a little reductive. Yusador, Wizard of the Twelve Realm of Ephesius. Master of... Like, wouldn't say, what is it? Lighten Shadow. No, I want to say Master of the House. Spunkle, do you know his name? Are you guys talking about spin text?

The green? No, no, no, no. Dan, don't, when we go in the room, don't say that name. Don't, yeah. I'm going in the room. Oh shit, chunt. What? No.

I'm going in the room with you. What? Is, is Spongebob loud loud? I don't, I guess we gotta bring the flower. If we're bringing the flowers and we're're bringing a little Sponkel with us. Oh shit, but while I was holding the flowers, I asked you about you who's are faking his deaths and now we have to kill Sponkel nose. Sponkel nose.

I'm a unique one. I'm a unique one. I like cheese in macaroni. You just fucking reverse the order of the ingredients. Yeah. Uh, and you think that's originality? I think it's better than the second one did Arnie, can you believe that he thinks that's originality? Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Can you believe it?

I think that's originality. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Yes, that's originality. It's originality. It's originality. That's crazy. I believe this guy is flower, huh? Oh, this dude. I believe. Well, I like how I change it to dude. Huh? Never mind.

Well, Sponkel, this is the end for you. Yeah. Good show. Let me just, would you say good show? Yeah, good show. Really? Thank you. Thank you so much. It was always nice to meet a fan. just, would you say good show? Yeah, good show. Really? Thank you. Thank you so much.

It was always nice to meet a fan. Thank you. I mean, that's kind of a weird one, I guess, this week, but I still think it's pretty good. Yeah, it's a bit unusual. No, you said or. But let me hold on, I don't think I have this candle off this table here.

And we're just gonna set you up. Weimah. Ah. Ah. Front fire. This is turning me off. I'm on fire. I'm just fired, this is turning me off. I'm not fired.

I'm just tripping on to the last one. Uhhh... And there you go. Ash's dashes, uh, pedals to pedals. Pedals to the medals. Okay, Ernie, let's like, we're all out of excuses. Time to open the door. But first, let's take another break.

Oh man, that's good and go in there. I know, I know as we started to turn the door, I got real, a lot of anxiety and I just, I'm sorry it took us outside. I just thought maybe we could, you know, just take a few laps around the tavern. I know, that's how bad it is. This is the first time I've gone outside in a like half a week. Whoa, yikes.

But it's so beautiful outside. I think, Arnie, I think this is a good thing because anytime you're about to confront death, I think you have to really absorb and cherish life. And look at all this flora and fauna around us. Look at this bee that just landed on my finger when I put out my, oh, it just stunned me. Look at this.

Oh. Aren't you allergic? Yes, severely. Okay, Arnie, in the back of my fur, there's a needle. You take that needle and stab this bee for revenge. Yes, quick. Okay, uh.

Thank you. Now I am going to swallow up and there's no medical way to fix this in our universe. But thank you for killing the bee. In Fune, when a bee stings you, it lives forever unless you kill it within the first 10 seconds. And you don't want it to live forever. No. And that's why I be sting,

because they want to cement their legacy. Yeah. So it'll be, we'll sting you for no reason at all, purely for it to live forever. I guess that's a reason. I guess that's a very good reason. Yeah, and nothing can live forever. Oh, right. Mortality.

Like, even if you think, like, this bee is going to live forever. Huh? Sorry, my. Like even if you think, like this bee is gonna lift forever. Huh? Sorry, my ears are swelling, would you say? Maybe there's no such thing as forever. Maybe there's no such thing as forever. Yeah. So what you're saying is, when you said or dies, we all thought,

what? Is that what you're saying? No. Oh, you think when you said our dies we die I don't know I'm following your lead. Have you ever seen a wizard die before? My husband oh Which don't even get me started on being allergic to bees with With two Sador. Yeah, I guess survive. Shut up, I'm so sorry.

I've been so selfish. Oh, it's fine. Day. Making it about myself. Arnie, I'm used to it. Please, I'm used to it. Yeah. Hey, it's so easy to go to a wedding

and forget that somebody exploded on the dance floor, especially the groom. That's so easy to forget sometimes. How are you holding up? I, I guess my legs, okay. Sir Badger. Huh? Sir Badger, does thou require a paladin? My name's Arnie.

No, I see you. Yeah, that's Arnie idiot. You call this Sir Badger Wall. Well, looking at me, you call him Sir Badger. And no, dumbass. Yeah, my eyes are over here on my head. I'm addressing you, Sir Badger. You appear to have some trouble. You're not addressing me, and I don't wear clothes, my eyes are over here on my head. I'm addressing you, sir, that you appear to have someone. You're not addressing me, and I don't wear clothes, my dude.

Well, I was about to enter this taboom and get to meet for myself, and I was hoping that perhaps I could use my connection to the goddesses to heal you in some way. Your connection to the goddesses, you're bragging about an ex? Nobody cares. I'm a paladin devout, yes. You're a paladin. Right? Do you hear how dumb that name sounds paladin? It sounds like something you'd use to scoop up lasagna with. Get the fuck out of here, dude. We're dealing with something. No, paladin, just forgive me. Paladin isn't my name. It's

what I am. Don't ask his name. Don't ask his name. It's gonna be something like fucking, I don't know. It's gonna be bad. It's gonna be bad. There's no reason not to ask my name. I am Sir Goodheart. No, oh, oh, wait, was Sir Goodheart? Yes, hold on, hold on. Sir Goodheart. My first name is Richard.

Sir Richard Goodheart. My friend's called me Dick. Oh, oh, get out of here. Dick Goodheart. Dick Goodheart? Wait, was it Dick Goodheart? That's right, Dick Goodheart. Ah, get the fuck out it Dick Get Hard? That's right dick Get Hard Get the fuck out of here. Oh actually wait hold on hold on. What what what yes? Oh buddy friend old pal again

Can you I'm allergic to bees and I got stung and I don't want to look this monstrous right? That's why I walked over here. Oh Shit, I'm so sorry. I was playing a game. We're playing a game. Say that's what you were gonna do I was trying to have you ever heard of the game meanies, you know meanies that fun food game We're whoever you come upon you're terrible to them. Oh fun. Yeah, we're just playing meanies And so that's who is all a game. Okay, you can go ahead and just and just you know a little nip and tuck here Just fix this up. Yeah, dear goddesses hear my plea and let this white magic flow through me so that this magic may be here. Arning, now's not the time to be woke.

Why am I? Oh, great. There's going to be a prayer and white magic. Arning, everyone knows Paladin's practice, white magic. It's a veneer. The connection with the god is a veneer, so they can do and say whatever, and they're protected because they think they're good. Don't you know what a Paladin is? Mmm.

A fake... Oh, it's working! How about that feeling, friend? I mean, uh, jerk. Haha. Meenies. I also play Meenies. I feel great. I feel not swell.

Which is what you want when you're allergic. Ah, I see. You've taken the word swell and used it to mean two slightly different things. Don't fucking dissect the frog, my man. I think it's quite humorous and I enjoyed it quite a lot. Okay, buddy. Let me, can I, can I, as a thank you, can I buy you a drink? A meat. I would love to enjoy a meat. Should we? Yeah, meat is a type of drink. Should we enter the tavern so they may do so? Yeah, I'll tell you what, why don't you, we're gonna order you a

meat and then why don't you go to the bathroom just to clean up? I already have an assent in there to meet Sponkel. You go in the bathroom, do your business and then the meat will be waiting for you at the table with the termite. I'm gonna shape shift into a termite to greet you. I know this is very complex. Sounds good to me,

but I'm just trying to be as thorough as possible. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'll see you inside then, friend termite to be. Thank you again. Goddess is good entity. Karla gives you good entities? Goodbye!

Arnie, did that paladin kinda sound like Yusudor? I mean, I feel like almost everyone we've talked to today sounded a little bit like Yusudor. You're crazy. There's no way Spunkel sounded like Yusudor, you're insane. Okay, I guess we've... Well, John, I'm sorry. I just wanted to check in on you. We don't, look, I don't want to force you to talk

about your feelings and we don't have to. But I just know that sometimes when you're upset, you just start deconstructing words extra hardcore. So I'm just checking in to make sure you do like this. Extra hardcore? That's so damn hard. What is hardcore me? If I'm biting into an apple and I hit the core of course it's gonna be hard That's what a core is we talk about working out your core. That's to make it hard that word hard core is redundant

What else where are you from sir you there? What's where you from? The sad side of me gas. Oh the South side of, Gus. I guess I'll tell this next joke real slow. What else? What else? Has anybody ever, you ever had a mead before? You know mead, you ever had a mead? What's this? It's the honey one.

Yeah, hold on, buddy. Don't fucking interrupt my cell, okay? Sorry. You know mead, like mead? Like, what is that about? It's one letter off of meat. What am I drinking this? What am I drinking a steak don't laugh at?

Like you're, the laughing interrupts my timing. And toke. Timing is, everything. Comedy. What? Okay, we have to, Arnie, we have to go inside. We have to go inside. I want to get away from this thing.

I, before it says its name out loud, we have to move on. Before we go inside, do you mind if I give you a hug? Arnie, I don't mind it. In fact, I prefer it. Okay, okay. There you go buddy. I love you buddy. I love you too. Don't die. Now let's get away from, don't die. Don't die. Let's get away from this. My name is Labia. Let Ah, let's go on, Arnie Rundle. That's Rundle. Ah, that acre... Oh, that acre...

That acre... Oh, that acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre...

That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre... That acre...ai... That acre... That acre... That acre... I know. Okay. There's no time. Okay. Okay. Just think. Yeah, it's a possible we missed it. No.

I'm sure there's so much meeting and greeting and glad handing and storytelling with all the people that showed up today that he shoulders probably still making the round. Yeah. Why is this freaking me out so much? He's not dying! I think it's freaking out because when you sort of dies, a part of the podcast dies. And I know that this podcast is all we have. Well, I mean, I have a rich inner life. You what?

Why did you start that? And I wasn't invited to coast. She betrayed me for the last time, Neescamp. Look at that. Look, I'm sorry. What, let's just go in. Let's I'm sorry. Let's just go in. Let's just go in. Let's just go in.

Let's be there for you, Sador. Yes, let's leave our problems at the door. Let's go inside. Here we go. As good friends, we owe it to him to spend at least three or four minutes at the end of this episode. Yes, yes. Let's cross this threshold as friends.

We can settle our differences back outside. Now done. OK, let's go inside. threshold as friends we can settle our differences back outside now done okay what's going on oh it's so quiet it's very cool it's kind of dark in here I can't see all the people that are I am surely around here somewhere is there like I maybe there's a game of hide and seek going on who's there oh hey who's there? Hey, it's it's Chant and Arnie. Yeah, you're co-hosts from the podcast It's that generally here there Well, let me look around

I don't see any red. I don't see you at ribs. You would think your wizard girlfriend would be here somewhere Please Arnie, real friend Did we miss all the all the people who came and say goodbye? Uh, uh, uh, I was confused. Sh-shit. What? I'm gonna sit up for a second, you guys. Yeah, this is a very big bed.

Thank you. You have the first only two showed up. The first two and the only two. Oh, no one else is linear. No, you're not even a hardwood fuck buddy came in here. I don't know who that is. The turn. You made a new friend already? Well, it's not a friendly friend.

I wouldn't say a friend at all. We do have a little bit of a will they want they thing. Really? Yeah, that's how like an interesting development. Well, I've been waiting here sort of late on this bed with my eyes sort of half shut hoping that, oh nice, that's a good death position. Yeah, and that's why when you came in I was whispering and who's there? Yeah. That was really good. That was great. Sometimes, sometimes if Sometimes if I wanna get out of something, I'll send a pigeon to someone,

and when I talk to the pigeon, I'll be like, Hey, can you tell Tom I can't make it today? And when the pigeon leaves, I'm like, thank fucking goddesses. Like I got out of that one. Right, right. So I played, I can play it up. I can play it up.

If you're sick, people love to hear that voice to confirm, like, oh, they're really sick. Yeah, yeah. I'm taking it, I'm taking a death day. Yeah. Sean, have you ever done that and then realized, oh, shit, I forgot to release the pigeon. It's still here.

Oh, I have, and I have to make pigeon pie. If you guys are my drift. I had to make the pigeon pie so it wouldn't talk. Oh, I'd make a full pie. Feed it to the pigeon. Say was that good enough? And the pigeon usually asks for a little bit more money or gold. Or a second pie to take home to their loved ones.

And then I send it off. Love birds. I love birds. Well, I suppose my death day is a bit of a bit of a bust here. Don't say that. I don't know. I thought my friends would come to pay their respects or some of my enemies even, you know.

Your friends are here, look around. It's me and Arnie, your best friends. Yeah. And your worst enemies in terms of where you're worst enemies because we're not good at being your enemies because we're your best friends. We love you, Gucidor, and we got here as soon as we could. Yeah, and Arnie and I have some messages

from some of your loved ones. Oh, yes. Don't let us. What about the parting gifts? We have a, yes, we have a parting gift. Oh, actually, I have a letter and a parting gift here from Apparel Fuels. Your gift?

Your friend. Yeah, Apparel wanted to say a few words, chocolate, botanical, circumference. So. Solve that later. So there you go. And then the parting gift was a big ol' high five. Oh.

So that's one, Arnie, you had some too, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's, I memorized it, because I'm not holding any papers. Yeah, it's him with mine, say with mine. Mm-hmm, right, right. I think there was definitely one from Sir Ian McKellen, who said, thou shalt not pass on without me wishing you a happy birthday?

Are you sure you're not thinking of so Richard get hurt? Who? The paladin? Yeah, comes in here all the time. I barely think of that guy. When you said his name I was like, who's this? And I'm like, oh, you got that guy. Yeah. Not a sticky character. I have here a poem. This is from a little chuch. Little chuch. Yeah, the ladybug, little chuch. Oh, okay. Little chuch says,

and this is a poem, remember. So, okay. Poems are meant to be read with a ton of space in between each line to give you time Remember for something I haven't heard yet. All right. Of course of course Of course I've been saying most poems when they're written There's a ton of space in between each line to really give you time to let it soak in so the poem goes okay Shall I compare thee to a dead body?

I hope you're dying and that's not naughty compare thee to a dead body. I hope you're dying and that's not naughty. Maybe a little space. I went to the store to get some more and now I have a lotty. So that's, so it's, we can all agree that's a bad poem, little chooch. Yeah, well, pretty good for a ladybug. Pretty good for a ladybug, correct,

because they can barely hold the pin. Right, yeah. I need to have, yeah, I have one from, from Yucidor, the blue. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And it says, stay sweet, have a great summer. Lylass, too cute, they spell it with four guys wrong. Lylass, they spell it Lylass.

Did I appear to you in a dream? Something. I forgot, there's so many messages, it's hard to remember where we're in a dream. Well, I've been trying to appear on a lot of people's streams this week too, so I don't even remember to come, but I lost track myself. Sure.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then there's a bunch more letters, but I don't know if you believe it. This guy, this creature, why would that believe it? Well, I'm just saying, let me finish. This creature made out of like 500 roses. He ate all the other letters and well wishes. So, I'm sorry about that.

Yeah. That guy's gonna have to go to the bathroom after eating all that. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess we can go afterwards to try and scoop it up and piece the letters back together, but I don't know if you want that.

Ah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what we were thinking. That's what we were thinking. But hey, we're here and we, yeah, if even just one person showed up, you should be thrilled. And there's two here, so.

And you know what, you know what, the old saying, it's your party, you can die if you want to. Yeah. Well, maybe I'll just sort of extend my death bed period for a while and a- No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, this bed is very nice.

I'm just gonna shrink it down a little bit. Eerothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothothoth bed. Can I ask why you made your death bed bunk bed? Yeah, you can ask that. It's very simple reason. I was hoping a friend would come and stay with me while I died, even though no, no, that I'm baking my dead. Yes, we may have, of course, of course, of course. It's wonderful that the people sent all these letters and things, but why did they send them to you and not to me? It makes me wonder, I have to be honest with you. Ah, I trust you too. Implicitly. Is there a chance that you're trying to spare my feelings and no one cares about me, even though I defeated the Dark Lord for them? Even though that's not true, and they don't know that. All the times I've tried to help people, even when I've taken a misstep. I'm sure that's what something.

What the fuck slap in the face, Arnie? You sure how could you possibly think that everyone, you didn't get the letters directly that sent to us because they wanted to make sure they got your hands because people thought you might be a lot of the envelopes for the letters said users are probably too frail to open this. Please forward to Chantin Arnie so... How dare you think that that that that was the case? Of course, when I appear to them in their dreams this week, I try to look frail as if I was dying.

I put on a glamour to to help sell the illusion that I'm about to die when I should have put on an illusion That included me still doing arm day. Look at these guns, baby. Look, you used to throw a wee We were trying to hide this from you, but We got so many letters from so many people in food saying But they're just having a hard time getting here But that they love you very much and that they're so busy a hard time getting here, but that they love you very much and that they're so busy crying and thinking about how great you are, that they're a little bit delayed and they're like, we know it's not possible for him to die

a little more slowly, but if he could... But I can. That... But I can, I just said, I'll put the bed on the back of my head. We'll wait to see who shows up. Maybe we'll have that in a few weeks. Oh, but that's drawing out that's drawing out so much grief I think you should die now and that will allow people ample time to Get over it, but this way people get calm and pay their respects and show much how they love me

Oh, but the roads are closed and there's an invisible dome over the tavern There's an invisible dome over the tavern. There's an invisible dome over the tavern, and the roads have been closed. Arnie, you said that was a plausible plot. You said you read it in a book. Now it looks like an asshole. I won't look. We should have gone with my idea, which is that we tie you to the bed, tell him we're his biggest fan, and then hobble his legs with a sledgehammer. And also, outside the dome, even if the dome were to raise, there's rabid dogs everywhere, and cars like the Arnie drives that are possessed and trying to kill you.

Yes. Yeah, so... And his whole hotel is haunted. But there is a gift shop. There is a gift shop in the hotel that sells needful things, but it comes with a twist. And yeah, it always wears blue and tells lies. Yeah.

And Tommy knockers, whatever that is. And there's children inside the corn, inside the corn. Yeah. Oh, now I'd understand what we're doing. And Dolores Clayborn. And there's a date, a very important date. I want to say, oh, what's not saying it? Because it's a legend.

11, 28, 57. Sorry, I'm just trying to get the combination to my locker. 11? Hold on, chunt. You think it's 11, 28, 57. That's not great to me. That's not great to me. That's not great to me. Why would I know the code to my locker?

Look, John, you know before we went in here, we were trying to just figure out if you store was gonna die quietly or dramatically. Yeah, of course. We forgot the most obvious option. He's gonna fucking draw it out. He's gonna make it take a long time. Oh, we've been such idiots, of course.

Just like his name, it's gonna go on forever. Mm-hmm. And then of course the first time he dies, Arna is gonna go, how did you die again? And then he's gonna repeat the whole death. Mm-hmm. I saw. Yes, the more I think about it, the more I think this is the best

path forward for me to draw out this period of time Or I'm dying where people can come and pay their respects and then eventually I shall create a show a bright light Firing into the sky and those shall be faked also believe the wizard has really died and it should be the most glorious And dramatic death the wizard has really died and it should be the most glorious and dramatic death the wizard has ever had And glass Arnie, did you say that was one wizard in glass or something? Oh, yeah, which is a glass? Yeah, wolves of the cala are probably gonna come as well

I'm trying to think of the last one I did artfully. Did I do any of them artfully? Trust me, you said, or this shouldn't make sense. Even if you read them in order. It all makes sense. Trust us. Oh, trust us. It all makes perfect sense. Thank you, Arty. Yeah, just like my plan. It all makes sense.

Okay, well, let's go have a drink at the bar. All right, I'm gonna act like I'm dying, though. Okay. And I have to, I have to shape shift into a termite. Bernie, what do you have to do? Uh, lead a rich in her life. Now sun setting. I'm, I'm done. You're sun setting? I thought I was doing that. I love you guys. I'm Aries Rising.

You said or, don't die. You said or, don't die. Chant, Arnie or don't die. You said or don't die. Chant, Arnie, don't die. Arnie, don't die. Don't die. Listeners, don't die. Don't die. Well, hardwood fuck buddy. Time for you to list those family members.

Oh well, sure, got nothing, whatever you want. And I suppose that there's, you know, there's's ain't, there's, you had so much time. A propos of nothing, the girl who loved Tom Gordon, because M.O.O.N. spells shoe-horning in references wherever possible. You've been listening to Hello from the Magic Tavern, a show that proves iTunes store ratings aren't everything. Hardwood fuck buddy the termite. Spongebob the walking collection of flowers, to think I trained at Juilliard.

And Sir Richard Gethard the Paladin, not to forget Wizard's Choice Award, nominee, user of the blue, were all played by Matt Young. Lily Tomlin, your one-person array of memorable characters, is officially irrelevant. Chant the Talking Badger was played by Adolfi, Yon. There were no guests this week, and can you blame them? Hello from the Magic Tavern is a fully independent production,

made possible by supporters of the Magic Tavern Patreon. Patrons get ad-free versions of every episode, and two new bonus episodes each month. The newest bonus episode is about Flower and her cousin that's crashing at her place. Here's a taste. Okay, she growl Flower here. Yeah, I wanted to say, bo-da-da- did, but it did, but it did, but it did. It's how I liked to enjoy the show. When it's just me, although it's not just me, I was supposed to have a girl's night by myself

filling up a bathtub full of petals. We all know what those are. Go fill it up, go soak a while, soak every part, but my cousin had a travel issue and she decided to crash my pad. So, we're gonna make a recording right now about it, because I mean, who knows when we're ever in the same place, but here's my cousin, Flower! P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- Pupo pupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo tupo Well, this is for fucking fun already. Okay, okay, all right. We'll not go there. We're not gonna go there. We're having fun. We're having fun. We're having a good time, right?

You want have a good time? I just don't, I don't, you tone in your voice. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm just, you know what it is? I'm upset. Okay.

I was recently let go from my job. And, you know, this is the importance of family. You come back and you got your family to fall back on when you know the things are going on. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, bh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, bu, buh, bu, buh, bu, buh, buh, bu, buh, buh, buh, bu, buh you had a job. Should all bonus episodes just be about flower? Probably. For more information on the bonus episodes and other Patreon exclusive perks, stop by patreon.com slash magic tavern. Hello from the Magic Tavern is produced by Arnie Meekamp, Matt Young in Adolfie, post-production coordination by Garrett Schultz. This episode edited by Anna Haverman, special assistance by Ryan to Georgie.

Hello from the Magic Tavern logo by Allard Leban. Magic Tavern theme by Andy Poland. Until next week, just leave me in my... misery. Under the dome. Let's see then, there's, of course there's dick fuck buddy, that's my dad, of course there's nipples fuck buddy, that's my mom, and of course I didn't... Can I ask her, I'm so sorry, what was, what, what is her maiden name?

Nipple, a, nay pussy. Nay pussy? Yeah, you asked what her unmarried name was right and I tell you say it you say nay any IGH no and Poster free e maybe okay What does an apostrophe you look like again? Oh, it's just a little accident put above an e there governor Okay, let's see. There's my cousin anal fuck buddy there's my

other cousin anus fuck buddy oh is there any cousins on the other side of the family oh yeah on the other side of the family you got buddy fuck anus and buddy fuck anal sorry I asked me too what a special episode Me too! What a special episode.